The Lonely Js Club: Jana, Jason, James, Jackson & Johannah

[Fuzzysox]

6 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

He made the Howlers sit through a sermon about masturbation. It was filmed at the Pool House. I'll post it when I can get to a laptop. 

From what I've seen, this guy is scarier than Bin and Derelict combined. Poor, poor Jinger 

No just NO!

[MargeGunderson]

5 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

From the above article:

"Jinger Duggar’s boyfriend has also confessed to struggling with a desire for fame and attention. During an interview with the Daily Orange, Jeremy Vuolo revealed that the sports psychologist for the New York Red Bulls was skeptical when the aspiring soccer star tried to argue that his main goal of being a good goalie was to “glorify God.”

“And the sports psychologist would always question me and say, ‘Yeah, OK. I’m buying that a little bit, but I think there’s more to it than that,'” Vuolo said. “And he’d say, ‘I think you want more money and I think you want more fame and I think you want more attention and approval.'”

Jeremy Vuolo eventually realized that the psychologist was right. He claims that “the Lord began systematically humbling” him, and he gradually lost interest in the game that he once loved. In 2013, he announced he was quitting the sport to pursue his ministry career full-time. However, Jeremy decided to give soccer one more go three weeks later when he was presented with the opportunity to play for the San Antonio Scorpions. The team no longer exists, so his soccer career is seemingly over."

LOL.

Right, because ministers don't want fame, attention or approval. I went to divinity school and met quite a few ministerial candidates. Some (not all) of them had large egos and wanted a lot of attention and approval. Being "God approved" as a minister is a huge ego boost. I doubt it's a coincidence that he choose a meek Christian girl who is on TV to court. 

[EarlGreyTea]

 I can't even imagine the look on this guy's Italian relatives' faces if they show up to their wedding and are served a root beer float and popcorn. I'm not Italian, but I'm Mexican and if there is one thing we have in common, it's that we can eat at weddings. And drink. And dance. Speaking generally, of course. I don't know what fundie Italians are like.

I live in San Antonio, so I'm kind of hoping they decide to settle here, if only for the off chance I run into them while shopping at HEB. SA is more conservative than Austin, but it's certainly much more metropolitan than Tontitown. I gotta say, they'd really fit in here. The fundie scene is pretty happening here. And there's a Wal-Mart on every corner. And Jinger will be exposed to the overwhelmingly Latino population, to say nothing of the food.

Edited June 21, 2016 by EarlGreyTea

[Abstract]

I'll never go back to a church tradition that doesn't require its pastors to go to real seminary. Let a bunch of guys in their early 20s loose with a Bible and a microphone and their egos inflate like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. And the young preachers in those circles seem unusually fixated on finding a wife that is "hot." 

[Lady Edith]

With his family being majority Catholic, I truly wonder how they will accept that one of the Duggar grandchildren was named after an anti-Catholic preacher?

[Arwen Evenstar]

57 minutes ago, EarlGreyTea said:

 I can't even imagine the look on this guy's Italian relatives' faces if they show up to their wedding and are served a root beer float and popcorn. I'm not Italian, but I'm Mexican and if there is one thing we have in common, it's that we can eat at weddings. And drink. And dance. Speaking generally, of course. I don't know what fundie Italians are like.

I live in San Antonio, so I'm kind of hoping they decide to settle here, if only for the off chance I run into them while shopping at HEB. SA is more conservative than Austin, but it's certainly much more metropolitan than Tontitown. I gotta say, they'd really fit in here. The fundie scene is pretty happening here. And there's a Wal-Mart on every corner. And Jinger will be exposed to the overwhelmingly Latino population, to say nothing of the food.

Yeah, my best friend during college is Mexican American, and there are certain things that must be at a Mexican wedding, and food is at the top of the list. Aaaaaaaaaand if you don't invite all your friends and all your relatives down to the 3rd cousins, that's another no no.  People were snarking about there not being enough food, or not enough of the food they thought should have been there. Even though they had like 16 mariachis, which was an exceeded requirement, people were mad because they didn't have "the dollar dance".  It cost her parents a lot of money to fill up a church and have the reception at a nice hotel, so something had to give and the longer things last, the meter runs on venues, limo, photographers, etc.

[Sew Sumi]

2 hours ago, farmgal4 said:

It's likely that they're already engaged.

I'm pretty sure they are. No way Kim Jong Boob allows another Marjorie situation to happen. As we noticed last year, he doesn't do public humiliation well at all. 

[cereality]

I think all those "preacher" guys dream of a multi million dollar TV empire, complete with book signings and appearances; all of that requires a hot woman standing behind the man -- ala Joel and Victoria Osteen.

In the normal world, 6 yrs isn't a huge age difference but here, I don't see how JB isn't terrified to give his daughter to this man. He's 28. Admittedly was a partier from junior yr high school thru college - so at least 6 yrs and possibly a bit more on the professional soccer circuit before he found God. So he has LIVED. Plenty of boozing and sex. Not to mention an actual high school education and a college degree from a big university. Contrast Jinger. She's not allowed to leave the compound without a sister in tow. She has NO girlfriends, let alone guy friends. She can barely send a text privately. She has no formal education -- not even high school. She's naïve and isolated. This guy found Jesus and now wants to repent HARD. Part of that repentance includes getting with a virgin who comes from money -- so he can not work like all the other sons in law, be a BS "minister," live exactly the life he wants bc he'll be the headship and he's SOOO Godly that he'll expect  wife to jump to his command, and get it on with his hot wife as much as he wants.

What if he turns out to be a creep like Josh who ends up being a molester or adulterer? What if he has an anger problem? What if he's abusive and demands sex acts Jinger doesn't want. I realize these are risks in ALL marriages. But in normal marriages, women -- even young women who are significantly younger than their partner -- have been around the block. Even women who are virgins have examples of healthy/unhealthy demands from a husband; and if they run into trouble that they don't want to talk to parents about -- most women can tip off a friend or even a coworker that something is off at home and that person will tell them to trust their gut. And if they need to get out -- they typically have an education and a job, so they aren't beholden to anyone for a paycheck. Here you have a 22 yr old with the experience of a 12 yr old getting with a man who is 28 and who has the right to demand absolutely anything he wants in the name of God. And if Jinger ever gets uncomfortable, the only people she can tip off are her fundie sisters who will tell her -- ooohhh you HAVE to stay married, do you want people to point and laugh and you, stay with your headship and do what he pleases! And on top of that she's moving with him alone 800 miles away so no one will ever even know if anything is wrong.

Hate to say it but she's just as naïve as Anna was in chasing her man and the risks are the same. You'd think having that happen once in his OWN family, JB would much much more careful giving a daughter's hand in marriage to a guy who seems like a religious fundamentalist and seems a bit off already.

[Arwen Evenstar]

6 hours ago, lulu69 said:

Maybe Jana didn't want a guy who clearly has 'given away pieces of his heart' as well as nibbles on his Jesus stick. 

Now I'm wondering if the JJCO remark Jana made about not settling was directed at Jinger rather than Jill & Jessa. Hmmmm

Oh, the shade of it all!!!

[Sew Sumi]

1 hour ago, EarlGreyTea said:

 I can't even imagine the look on this guy's Italian relatives' faces if they show up to their wedding and are served a root beer float and popcorn. I'm not Italian, but I'm Mexican and if there is one thing we have in common, it's that we can eat at weddings. And drink. And dance. Speaking generally, of course. I don't know what fundie Italians are like.

I live in San Antonio, so I'm kind of hoping they decide to settle here, if only for the off chance I run into them while shopping at HEB. SA is more conservative than Austin, but it's certainly much more metropolitan than Tontitown. I gotta say, they'd really fit in here. The fundie scene is pretty happening here. And there's a Wal-Mart on every corner. And Jinger will be exposed to the overwhelmingly Latino population, to say nothing of the food.

The main church is in San Antonio, but he pastors the plant church in Laredo. 

eta: I see I have a fellow kindred Drag Race spirit. Love me some Latrice MF Royale. :D

Edited June 22, 2016 by Sew Sumi

[cereality]

What's JJCO?

Honestly I think Jana sees the winner sons in law her father is coming up with and just cannot pull the trigger. She has said she wants a guy that can work hard and get dirt under his nails. She may not be all that interested in these BS "ministers" that come calling bc she knows it'll be a lifetime of them trying to make a living by posting YouTube videos while spending 99% of the week at home bc frankly how much is there to do on a daily basis? She may want a guy who goes out 40 hrs a week, does something, and brings home a paycheck.

[Sew Sumi]

JJCO = Jill and Jessa: Counting On. We're just too lazy to type all that out. :D

[EarlGreyTea]

I wonder at Jessa pushing Jinger toward a guy who is clearly more successful and worldly than Ben (comparatively speaking, that is). I don't see her as the type to be 100 percent happy with Jinger beating her in the husband sweepstakes. I bet she is envious, deep down. She and Ben are last year's news, and there's only so many videos you can post of your kid doing the same thing.

I bet we'll see Jinger pop up a lot more on Instagram with Jessa. One thing I noticed was how their friendship seemed to drop off steeply as soon as Jessa got married. If you go to her Instagram, you barely see any of her with Jinger, but a few with Jill, whom she never seemed too close with before they both married. The divide between the marrieds and the singles is so stark that I wonder if a tiny part of this courtship for Jinger is to find more in common with Jessa and join the marrieds club.

[Arwen Evenstar]

17 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

The main church is in San Antonio, but he pastors the plant church in Laredo. 

eta: I see I have a fellow kindred Drag Race spirit. Love me some Latrice MF Royale. :D

OMG! I LOVE her! Can you imagine Jinger getting a Drag U makeover?

[cereality]

I think Jinger has definitely said in the past how much she misses her BFF Jessa and how she can't hang out with Jessa and Bin bc they're married -- as they show all the married couples going out together while Jinger and Jana wave bye and stay with the 4 yr olds. I'm not entirely sure why singles can't hang with marrieds in their cult -- I mean do they go out to dinner and exclusively talk about sexual relations so a poor singleton just wouldn't understand??

But I'm not sure that this marriage allows Jinger to get back to being super close with her BFF. Sure they'll be inseparable for the next 6 months of engagement (though I think they already are), wedding planning, and the wedding. After that Jinger moves 800 miles away -- so how often are they hanging out? I'm sure Jessa and Bin will do some road trips but that's different than getting coffee with your BFF on a random Tuesday. Part of me thinks that Jessa and Bin will be trying to convince Jeremy to bring another "minister" at his church in Laredo or some other made up role. We all know Bin isn't capable of getting a job on his own, but I think Bin and Jessa wouldn't mind getting out of dodge and out from under JB's thumb, IF someone could hand them a job.

[jcbrown]

I shudder to imagine the "usual" situation these Duggar "girls" (using the term advisedly because they are not ever allowed to mature into womanhood) face on their wedding days when they are expected to go from never been kissed or had any bodily agency of their own to full on intercourse literally overnight. Add in being a survivor of sexual abuse whose parents sheltered and protected her abuser to that and I feel terrible for Jinger.

[Tabbygirl521]

8 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Here it is. Play Spot the Howler over on the side. There's a rumor going around that he was caught with a guy on the soccer team at his first college and his dad made him transfer to Syracuse. However, I don't really buy that because he got his degree at the first school, and I don't think the college offers post-grad studies, so he went to Syracuse (and apparently had a year of soccer eligibility left). I think this crap is borne from his Born Again Virgin status. He says he was "caught," but in Fundie-ese, that could mean he got busted jacking off in the shower or something. 

 

Would like a psych evaluation of whoever created this artwork. 

[TessHarding2]

Speaking of jobs - why can't any of these young women find men that have career aspirations so they can support 50 children without scrounging around for their next dollar?  They don't have to live their cult, er, religion during the daytime.

[VioletNevermind]

48 minutes ago, EarlGreyTea said:

I bet we'll see Jinger pop up a lot more on Instagram with Jessa. One thing I noticed was how their friendship seemed to drop off steeply as soon as Jessa got married. If you go to her Instagram, you barely see any of her with Jinger, but a few with Jill, whom she never seemed too close with before they both married. The divide between the marrieds and the singles is so stark that I wonder if a tiny part of this courtship for Jinger is to find more in common with Jessa and join the marrieds club.

These people take "leave and cleave" to a whole new level.

In other news, man, Jinger.  You snagged yourself a fine-looking guy there.  In even more news, poor Jana.  It has to be killing her to watch her sisters fly away (translation: escape) one-by-one. 

Edited June 22, 2016 by SuzyLee

[Arwen Evenstar]

59 minutes ago, TessHarding2 said:

Speaking of jobs - why can't any of these young women find men that have career aspirations so they can support 50 children without scrounging around for their next dollar?  They don't have to live their cult, er, religion during the daytime.

Because Kim Jong Boob is so obsessed with everyone's purity that he's gonna marry them off. Can't gave damaged goods now, can we?

[MarysWetBar]

Ok I know this isn't scientific and is based on nothing but instincts but. . this guy is bad news. Like dark bad news. 

He is the spitting image of an ex of mine and if you can bet on anything,  it is my absolutely shittastic taste in men.

Run Jinger!

[ChocolateAddict]

I wonder if, in a weird way, Jana is enjoying her life at the moment.  Mechelle and Boob checked out of the childraising years ago and now the littles aren't so little anymore. The youngest are 6, 7, 8 and 10 so they are old enough to dress and feed themselves.  The other kids are mostly in their teens and by their standards Jackson and Justin are too old to be taken care of by a girl.  Even adding for Anna's 4, she wouldn't be taking care of them full time, Anna has always seemed fairly involved with her kids. 

Maybe she is finally getting a bit of space now that Jill and Jessa have moved out, Jinger is obsessing over her courtshipper and the littles can, to some extent, fend for themselves. Plus there aren't any cameras around (she never seemed to enjoy filming) and she had a few months when Josh was at Jesus Jail.  This all completely speculation but I hope that she is enjoying being courtship and baby free.  Goodness knows that she deserves it!

[kalamac]

8 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Well, he'll fit right in. In this one we have the obligatory ex-Catholic disgusted with her former "filthy" "good deeds." And here I was afraid he might just be a pray-away-the-gay guy. Ugh.

Of course, since Jinger really saw "his heart" on a "mission" trip, I suppose her favorite thing about him is that he's a god-botherer. So that's cool.

I'm not convinced God cares that much about soccer goals.

Interesting that he thinks God was systematically humbling him (presumably by making him not play so well?), when the current number 1 ranked soccer player in the world is Lionel Messi, who is apparently one of those evil Catholics God hates so much, and yet apparently has no interest in negatively affecting his career.

[sometimesy]

K, why do we think he will be mean to Jinger? He is looking for the fundie wife, Bin and Derelict did the same thing. He seems to have had a patch of more 'normal' adolescent and college age experiences, so wouldn't those help him if he decides to go fundie lite. Jinger was going to be the weaker partner no matter who she was matched with because she has the horrible parents that brainwashed her, no privacy and no help to overcome the molestation. Maybe this guy is going to be strong. I'm still going to despise him for his beliefs, but I'm not sure he will physically hurt Jinger or behave in anyway she isn't expecting as a Dugg wife. 

[kokapetl]

2 hours ago, TessHarding2 said:

Speaking of jobs - why can't any of these young women find men that have career aspirations so they can support 50 children without scrounging around for their next dollar?  They don't have to live their cult, er, religion during the daytime.

Might be worth sending Jana off to train as a schoolmarm at this point. 

[cmr2014]

11 minutes ago, sometimesy said:

K, why do we think he will be mean to Jinger? He is looking for the fundie wife, Bin and Derelict did the same thing. He seems to have had a patch of more 'normal' adolescent and college age experiences, so wouldn't those help him if he decides to go fundie lite. Jinger was going to be the weaker partner no matter who she was matched with because she has the horrible parents that brainwashed her, no privacy and no help to overcome the molestation. Maybe this guy is going to be strong. I'm still going to despise him for his beliefs, but I'm not sure he will physically hurt Jinger or behave in anyway she isn't expecting as a Dugg wife. 

It is because he has had those other experiences (I'm not trying to speak for K, just for myself). This is a man who had the opportunity to move away from fundie-town, and instead moved in. He didn't have to choose a "pure" girl, but he did. He didn't have to agree to a "courtship," but he did.

He doesn't describe any particular attraction to Jinger, or affection for her as a person. He mentions hovering around the family for a while and "praying on it" for a while, and then deciding to pursue her because of her "testimony." He mentions her "meekness" as an important factor in choosing her.

There are plenty of deeply religious fundie girls out there who have gone to school, have friends -- maybe even a boyfriend or two in their past, and maybe even have jobs and careers. He has chosen a deeply sheltered and isolated girl who has no friends, and no relationships outside her family. She has virtually no education, and no experience -- in anything, really.

All of this sets off roaring alarm bells with me. I hope that I'm wrong, and that he is just a dorky uber-religious, non-threatening idiot like Derick and Ben . . .

[cereality]

I hope I'm wrong and that it's all talk but a 28 yr old who used to be a partier seeking a 22 yr old who has the mind of a pre teen and no meaningful friendships, education or work and then praising her for her humble, modest and meek nature -- reeks of someone who wants to be older and worldlier than his partner so he can control her. 

It's not unusual for a 28 yr old to find god and re virginize these days. I believe Sean from the Bachelor was that way. BUT they still seek out wives who are their emotional and intellectual equals. Here it seems Jeremy specifically does NOT want that and when guys don't want that it's usually for sinister reasons.

[kokapetl]

Jinger is free to say no, Jana seems to be doing that.

I hope that Jinger has gotten to know this man enough since she met him in May 2015. 

[BitterApple]

I think Jinger just wants OUT. She's been stuck at home dealing with the aftermath of Joshgates I and II while Jessa and Jill were off posting selfies and enjoying married life. I can't even imagine how badly the Duggar household has gone to shit in the past year. I wouldn't doubt Michelle hides in her room all day, and then you add the burden of the four Mkids who needed care while Anna grasped at sanity. Jinger probably thought Jeremy was a Godsend. After all, to hear her tell it, she's an evil sinner, so maybe her thinking is warped enough to where she's grateful ANY man would have her and is willing to ignore the red flags the rest of us are picking up on so easily.

When Jeremy described his attraction for Jinger he just recited the standard criteria for a Gothard wife. He could've been talking about any one of a hundred Fundie girls we've discussed on this forum. I get the vibe he's looking for an archetype to compliment his ministry aspirations, not an equal partner he can connect with on an intimate level. 

Edited June 22, 2016 by BitterApple

[Micks Picks]

I've scanned several sources about this today, and am unclear how he got so involved with the Seewalds.  That 800 miles is no small deal.  We know Ben's ambitions to be a tv preacher but why should Jeremy give two shits about Bin?  Jeremy someplace mentioned expository preaching, as has Bin, and while Jeremy can do it in a heartbeat, there is no hope for Bin.

 

Courtship immediately got the girls off any and all duties around the house.  Their responsibilities were history the minute they started courtship.  Never saw anything like it.  You court and the whole family absolves you of any work around the house?  Count me in too, I guess.

 

For the wonderful things Jinger and Jeremy had to say about each other we know they don't have a clue what each other is like.  Jinger says she noticed his character and heart.   Give me a break.  Character when he's got a good body, and she doesn't observe that?  He says she is meek and godly or something.  Wow that tells me a lot.  I can't imagine anyone I know going for the kill with the points either of them made.  They absolutely don't know anything about each other because THERE IS APPARENTLY NOTHING THERE TO SEE.  JUST MOVE ON.  THEY DON'T HAVE PERSONALITY TRAITS OR INTERESTS IN ANYTHING.   Yes, I meant to shout.  Now gotta go pull my finger out of my throat.

[Gweilo]

4 hours ago, ChocolateAddict said:

I wonder if, in a weird way, Jana is enjoying her life at the moment...

....This all completely speculation but I hope that she is enjoying being courtship and baby free.  Goodness knows that she deserves it!

Good points!  And I also just had a thought that if Jana does want to court, doing it now, while the attention is on meek Jinger & Hot! Soccer! Guy! would be a very strategic move.  She'd be camouflagued a bit and would get a lot less attention than if it were just her solo.

Although Sierra planning a double wedding would just be the worst.  

[becca3891]

22 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Eloquently written as always. 

20 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

The biggest red flag for me - and I consider it sufficiently scary in itself - is that he described and praised her "meek" appearance. Modest - fine. Meek? No. Run, Jinger. 

"Meek" really troubles me. Imagine it being turned around, and Jinger saying she wanted him to be meek. That wouldn't fly in a millions years, and the misogyny is awful.

19 hours ago, Jeeves said:

Wowzer. The media campaign, no doubt coordinated by TLC, is lying about Jeremy's career. They keep calling him a "soccer player" who "took a break" to do ministry and then returned to soccer.

No disclosure that the last team he played with is now defunct.

No disclosure that he is now, as he has been for more than a year, in charge of a small "planted" church in Laredo, under the auspices of a large San Antonio fundie/evangelical church. No disclosure that he was ordained by that church a few months ago.

No disclosure about his church praying the gay away as part of its teachings/ministry.

I hope people in the LGBTQ community get on this and make sure TLC advertisers know the truth.

Sadly, "pray the gay away" is standard in any church that labels itself as bible-believing. Not unexpected or newsworthy at all when compared to Gothard or even to the Southern Baptist Church Amy and Derrick's family attend.

On 6/20/2016 at 4:45 PM, Sew Sumi said:

Here is a video of him preaching. His church is Grace Community. http://www.gcclaredo.com/

Interesting about being "racially diverse." Laredo is 96% Hispanic. It is the least racially diverse medium to large sized city in the country. 

I've sat through a lot of fundy preaching and I found him stilted and awkward. He was clearly reading the sermon word for word and kept losing his place on his paper and was stumbling over his own words. 

On 6/20/2016 at 8:31 PM, Adeejay said:

That wouldn't surprise me in the least.  It also wouldn't surprise me if Jana was the only daughter to stay single.  The marriages she witnesses daily, have probably soured her on the institution. 

Honestly, if I were Jana I wouldn't want to get married either. Not to mention that aside from the terrible fundy marriages she sees all around her, for all we know she has psychological trauma from being molested, and never got help for it.

[Jynnan tonnix]

Not to defend the courtship, as I've mentioned that this guy already sets f my creep-o-meter like crazy, but exactly what are these Fundy types allowed to say when it comes to an attraction to each other? The only interaction they have had has been God-centric, so that's the only reference point they have for anything they might have in common. A sense of humor is probably considered frivolous. Physical attraction might exist, but must be squelched and sublimated until after the wedding, but seems to be a forbidden subject in any case, being far more "of the world" than "of God". Traits such as kindness, gentleness, integrity, thoughtfulness,  etc, all pretty much fall under the umbrella of "Godly". Intelligence doesn't seem to be in their vocabulary, and any sort of intensity or diligence is only valued as far as it is used toward glorifying God...So what words of affection are left to them to describe what they find attractive in a chosen life-partner?

[monno2]

First post, but just wanted to join to ask why people think Jinger will be the one moving? So far, 2 daughters married off, neither of them have left. The husbands have moved TO them (in the beginning, now of course Derrick has taken Jill pretty far away!).  Ben would have been a good bet to stay where he was with is family but no he moved closer to Jessa and stayed.

Would JB allow Jinger to court someone who wouldn't move closer to the TTH??  Guess we'll find out.

p.s. while googling, I noticed Jeremy knows who Jean Valjean is. (his sister isn't hard to find and she's got public accounts). He saw Les Mis in 2012 with his siblings.

Edited June 22, 2016 by monno2

[Churchhoney]

7 hours ago, kalamac said:

Interesting that he thinks God was systematically humbling him (presumably by making him not play so well?), when the current number 1 ranked soccer player in the world is Lionel Messi, who is apparently one of those evil Catholics God hates so much, and yet apparently has no interest in negatively affecting his career.

"he thinks."     I fear that, once again, this is where we're going wrong with this guy. ...As with everybody else who's attracted to the Duggar crew, his thinker seems to be seriously on the fritz.

[Churchhoney]

10 hours ago, cereality said:

I think all those "preacher" guys dream of a multi million dollar TV empire, complete with book signings and appearances; all of that requires a hot woman standing behind the man -- ala Joel and Victoria Osteen.

In the normal world, 6 yrs isn't a huge age difference but here, I don't see how JB isn't terrified to give his daughter to this man. He's 28. Admittedly was a partier from junior yr high school thru college - so at least 6 yrs and possibly a bit more on the professional soccer circuit before he found God. So he has LIVED. Plenty of boozing and sex. Not to mention an actual high school education and a college degree from a big university. Contrast Jinger. She's not allowed to leave the compound without a sister in tow. She has NO girlfriends, let alone guy friends. She can barely send a text privately. She has no formal education -- not even high school. She's naïve and isolated. This guy found Jesus and now wants to repent HARD. Part of that repentance includes getting with a virgin who comes from money -- so he can not work like all the other sons in law, be a BS "minister," live exactly the life he wants bc he'll be the headship and he's SOOO Godly that he'll expect  wife to jump to his command, and get it on with his hot wife as much as he wants.

What if he turns out to be a creep like Josh who ends up being a molester or adulterer? What if he has an anger problem? What if he's abusive and demands sex acts Jinger doesn't want. I realize these are risks in ALL marriages. But in normal marriages, women -- even young women who are significantly younger than their partner -- have been around the block. Even women who are virgins have examples of healthy/unhealthy demands from a husband; and if they run into trouble that they don't want to talk to parents about -- most women can tip off a friend or even a coworker that something is off at home and that person will tell them to trust their gut. And if they need to get out -- they typically have an education and a job, so they aren't beholden to anyone for a paycheck. Here you have a 22 yr old with the experience of a 12 yr old getting with a man who is 28 and who has the right to demand absolutely anything he wants in the name of God. And if Jinger ever gets uncomfortable, the only people she can tip off are her fundie sisters who will tell her -- ooohhh you HAVE to stay married, do you want people to point and laugh and you, stay with your headship and do what he pleases! And on top of that she's moving with him alone 800 miles away so no one will ever even know if anything is wrong.

Hate to say it but she's just as naïve as Anna was in chasing her man and the risks are the same. You'd think having that happen once in his OWN family, JB would much much more careful giving a daughter's hand in marriage to a guy who seems like a religious fundamentalist and seems a bit off already.

Because a) Boob's overweaning ego -- which he takes to be the voice G.O.D. -- informs him that he, above all fathers, has raised his children to be second to none when it comes to the skills of  navigating this life in any of its particulars (Seriously. He thinks this. Just listen to Jessa or Joy or any of the others pop off about it.) and b) his tears at daughters' weddings notwithstanding, the vile bastard does not give a shit about his daughters (or, for that matter, about his sons).

[Churchhoney]

10 hours ago, cereality said:

I think Jinger has definitely said in the past how much she misses her BFF Jessa and how she can't hang out with Jessa and Bin bc they're married -- as they show all the married couples going out together while Jinger and Jana wave bye and stay with the 4 yr olds. I'm not entirely sure why singles can't hang with marrieds in their cult -- I mean do they go out to dinner and exclusively talk about sexual relations so a poor singleton just wouldn't understand??

 

No, they go out and dry hump in groups at family-friendly entertainment venues.

[MunichNark]

*cautiously opens Prayer closets door and peeps out*

I'm definitely showing my obvious lack of maturity, but your man's name Vuolo just cracks me up and reminds me of ah, well, a certain woman's body part......

*shuts Prayer closets door with a resounding bang*

I probably need a PP spanking in addition as well

[Churchhoney]

8 hours ago, sometimesy said:

K, why do we think he will be mean to Jinger? He is looking for the fundie wife, Bin and Derelict did the same thing. He seems to have had a patch of more 'normal' adolescent and college age experiences, so wouldn't those help him if he decides to go fundie lite. Jinger was going to be the weaker partner no matter who she was matched with because she has the horrible parents that brainwashed her, no privacy and no help to overcome the molestation. Maybe this guy is going to be strong. I'm still going to despise him for his beliefs, but I'm not sure he will physically hurt Jinger or behave in anyway she isn't expecting as a Dugg wife. 

Yeah, I agree that it could go either way.

Mainly, I'm leery about what happens in any of these marriages when any guy finally wakes up to full realization that he's actually signed up to be Jim Bob's bitch for life and a member of a true brainwashing cult rather than somebody's husband.

But in this case, it seems to me that the experience difference between him and Jinger could make her true nature even more of a shock to him than Jill's childlikeness has been to Derick, for example, and Jim Bob's true nature more of a shock as well. I wouldn't say that he's necessarily going to explode or freak out someday when realizations strike. But I do think it's a possibility given that, like the other couples, they really won't know each other when they hitch but, unlike the other couples, there's a really really big gap between who he probably is and who Jinger is (it seems to me, anyway).

She looks like an attractive 22-year-old. But in fact, I'd bet she's more like a fragile 14, when it comes to adult relationships and self assertion, at least. I think an older guy who's lived in the outside world could get very very frustrated with someone like that at a point when he's feeling angry about his life in general. And, more so than Derick and Bin, this guy may have the ego and the physical presence that could lead to frustration getting out of hand, seems to me. I guess I find it impossible to imagine that any young Duggar-in-law won't eventually feel very very angry and frustrated about the way Jim Bob and Michelle have suffocated their spouses and are now trying to suffocate them as well!

Edited June 22, 2016 by Churchhoney

[MunichNark]

It's time for die Toilettenfrau to come out and show young Jeremy that you don't mess with Jinge

[toodles]

7 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I think Jinger just wants OUT. She's been stuck at home dealing with the aftermath of Joshgates I and II while Jessa and Jill were off posting selfies and enjoying married life. I can't even imagine how badly the Duggar household has gone to shit in the past year. I wouldn't doubt Michelle hides in her room all day, and then you add the burden of the four Mkids who needed care while Anna grasped at sanity. Jinger probably thought Jeremy was a Godsend. After all, to hear her tell it, she's an evil sinner, so maybe her thinking is warped enough to where she's grateful ANY man would have her and is willing to ignore the red flags the rest of us are picking up on so easily.

When Jeremy described his attraction for Jinger he just recited the standard criteria for a Gothard wife. He could've been talking about any one of a hundred Fundie girls we've discussed on this forum. I get the vibe he's looking for an archetype to compliment his ministry aspirations, not an equal partner he can connect with on an intimate level. 

Plus a TV show   Don't forget the TV show.

[Bitter Betty]

I personally feel a little uncomfortable characterizing a guy we know very little about as a wife beater when there's no proof he has a violent past. I understand wanting to be vigilant, but it's a pretty serious allegation to throw against someone that, at the moment, has no foundation.

[Lemur]

20 minutes ago, Bitter Betty said:

I personally feel a little uncomfortable characterizing a guy we know very little about as a wife beater when there's no proof he has a violent past. I understand wanting to be vigilant, but it's a pretty serious allegation to throw against someone that, at the moment, has no foundation.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Let's all take a step back here.  No one is implying physical danger or psychological harm.  No one's calling this dude a wife beater.

I just happen to have a bit of experience with dating an older guy when I was her age and I can say that the age difference was a major problem.  And at that time, I was a 22 year old woman with a BA from a large state university who thought she was articulate as all hell and a super-deep thinker.  Turns out that age and maturity gap with my 30 year old guy was massive.  It was absolutely immense.  And I'm not even talking about different pop culture tastes.  He had eight years of living like a real life, actual adult on me that my still-forming frontal lobe just couldn't handle.  Now, consider what we know of the two girls who have married - one owns her three-year-younger husband like he's a pet and the other had such a maturity gap (mainly because he found out that she's at least half-feral) that it was appalling when it became public.  And Derrick doesn't have nearly the experience and maturity of this guy.  *THAT* is what I'm worried about.  Does this guy know he's pretty much got a child bride in all but the technical sense on his hands?  Is that what he wanted?  Those are my concerns. 

Edited June 22, 2016 by Lemur

[Aja]

2 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

"he thinks."     I fear that, once again, this is where we're going wrong with this guy. ...As with everybody else who's attracted to the Duggar crew, his thinker seems to be seriously on the fritz.

That was adorable. *adopting for daily use*

[DangerousMinds]

39 minutes ago, Bitter Betty said:

I personally feel a little uncomfortable characterizing a guy we know very little about as a wife beater when there's no proof he has a violent past. I understand wanting to be vigilant, but it's a pretty serious allegation to throw against someone that, at the moment, has no foundation.

Just speculation.

[awaken]

2 hours ago, monno2 said:

First post, but just wanted to join to ask why people think Jinger will be the one moving? So far, 2 daughters married off, neither of them have left. The husbands have moved TO them (in the beginning, now of course Derrick has taken Jill pretty far away!).  Ben would have been a good bet to stay where he was with is family but no he moved closer to Jessa and stayed.

I was wondering the same thing.  We're assuming she will move to TX but I am calling it now, bet you anything that God will conveniently lay it upon his heart that he should move his ministry to AR, and that they will receive the blessing of a free home and childcare courtesy of sisters.  No way would one of the girls embark upon life "alone" as a wife, mother and pastor's wife.    I can just see the media potential now, so many selfies of Ben and Jessa and Jeremy and Jinger doing their ministries together as couples- going to U of A football games, learning Christian rap, making testimony videos.  The possibilities are endless and too good to be true!!  

3 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Not to defend the courtship, as I've mentioned that this guy already sets f my creep-o-meter like crazy, but exactly what are these Fundy types allowed to say when it comes to an attraction to each other? The only interaction they have had has been God-centric, so that's the only reference point they have for anything they might have in common. A sense of humor is probably considered frivolous. Physical attraction might exist, but must be squelched and sublimated until after the wedding, but seems to be a forbidden subject in any case, being far more "of the world" than "of God". Traits such as kindness, gentleness, integrity, thoughtfulness,  etc, all pretty much fall under the umbrella of "Godly". Intelligence doesn't seem to be in their vocabulary, and any sort of intensity or diligence is only valued as far as it is used toward glorifying God...So what words of affection are left to them to describe what they find attractive in a chosen life-partner?

That is absolutely true.  They get to know each other only through the lense of godliness, so those are the characteristics that they would highlight about each other.  The rest doesn't matter all that much- common interests, intellect, plans for the future (only if they involve having a common goal of missioncating, having children, and ministering as a couple.)  As Bin so astutely noted for us, compatibility doesn't matter, that can be worked through, what matters is being with the person God (ie Dad) has chosen for you.

[Lemur]

You know, with the remaining kids, they could do a couple Duggar editions of "Arranged", or "Married at First Sight".

 

 ... I probably shouldn't have said that out loud. 

[sometimesy]

1 hour ago, awaken said:

I was wondering the same thing.  We're assuming she will move to TX but I am calling it now, bet you anything that God will conveniently lay it upon his heart that he should move his ministry to AR, and that they will receive the blessing of a free home and childcare courtesy of sisters.  No way would one of the girls embark upon life "alone" as a wife, mother and pastor's wife.    I can just see the media potential now, so many selfies of Ben and Jessa and Jeremy and Jinger doing their ministries together as couples- going to U of A football games, learning Christian rap, making testimony videos.  The possibilities are endless and too good to be true!!  

That is absolutely true.  They get to know each other only through the lense of godliness, so those are the characteristics that they would highlight about each other.  The rest doesn't matter all that much- common interests, intellect, plans for the future (only if they involve having a common goal of missioncating, having children, and ministering as a couple.)  As Bin so astutely noted for us, compatibility doesn't matter, that can be worked through, what matters is being with the person God (ie Dad) has chosen for you.

TLC might think this makes a better show, but I would rather watch a Duggar girl find her way in a new town without her family. They need to switch it up for the fans. Watching another Duggar living on top of the other Duggars, going for coffee with Jessa... ho hum..but if they show Jinger learning to meet new people and become a part of a couple (rather than the extended family of boob), then it might be worth watching. If they are sitting around the TTH all the time, what's the point, we've seen every one of those episodes already with different actors.  We should have been treated to this with Derick and Jill, but since they do nothing it was a total fail. They have to show all the warts. All the discomfort Jinger feels when she is out of her bubble. It's like the Amish show, but real. 

Maybe Jeremy has the gallant knight syndrome. They purposefully seek people to 'fix'. They seek out people who their friends and family often say he/she could have done better. They know that it's a mismatch and they like the idea that the 'victim' will appreciate how lucky they are to have the 'knight'. 

Edited June 22, 2016 by sometimesy
Just adding: this is still a controlling relationship.

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, Lemur said:

Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Let's all take a step back here.  No one is implying physical danger or psychological harm.  No one's calling this dude a wife beater.

I just happen to have a bit of experience with dating an older guy when I was her age and I can say that the age difference was a major problem.  And at that time, I was a 22 year old woman with a BA from a large state university who thought she was articulate as all hell and a super-deep thinker.  Turns out that age and maturity gap with my 30 year old guy was massive.  It was absolutely immense.  And I'm not even talking about different pop culture tastes.  He had eight years of living like a real life, actual adult on me that my still-forming frontal lobe just couldn't handle.  Now, consider what we know of the two girls who have married - one owns her three-year-younger husband like he's a pet and the other had such a maturity gap (mainly because he found out that she's at least half-feral) that it was appalling when it became public.  And Derrick doesn't have nearly the experience and maturity of this guy.  *THAT* is what I'm worried about.  Does this guy know he's pretty much got a child bride in all but the technical sense on his hands?  Is that what he wanted?  Those are my concerns. 

Yeah, thanks for clarifying this. Those are my concerns, too. Because if a child bride is what he wanted, that's probably bad. At least for the marriage as a marriage and almost certainly for Jinger. And if a child bride isn't what he really wanted, then that's definitely bad because he'll be unhappy and then what will he do? Be mad at Jinger? Be super-mad at himself? Walk out? Then feel guilty and walk back? It seems to have a heck of a lot of potential for being an unhappy situation.

[Arwen Evenstar]

3 hours ago, MunichNark said:

It's time for die Toilettenfrau to come out and show young Jeremy that you don't mess with Jinge

I think it's time Die Toilettenfrau bitch slaps Boob with het toilet brush and scrubs out his mouth with it before she goes after Jeremy.

Thus definitely a job for Die Toilettenfrau!