S03.E06: Week 4, Night 1

[OnceSane]

Quote

A frustrated bachelor continues to deal with the emotional breakdown of his crying ex who is unable to move on from him; four single ladies look to the remaining bachelor wild card for their chance to secure a rose.

[adhoc]

Funniest moment:  Ashley I talking to Jared, and sobbing uncontrollably: I've never been ... (sniff)... happier ...(sniff) ... than when I'm with yoouuu...

Vinnie to Izzy: You're just going to throw away what we have because he...looks good?

That is so funny, coming from a man.

Seriously, is the demographic for this show 12-year-olds? Because this is my first time watching BiP, and it's pretty unwatchable if you're much older. Either it's an hour of distasteful Chad antics or it's an hour of Ashley I crying (pretty fakely, too, it sometimes looked like) and talking delusionally about how she and Jared are meant for each other and how watching Jared with someone else is her worst nightmare. My worst nightmare is trying to sit through this show, which is seeming more scripted by the minute. 

Thank goodness So You Think You Can Dance was on and I could sometimes flip over to watch it to relieve my boredom/annoyance.
 

Edited August 23, 2016 by adhoc

[JudyObscure]

Izzy's a fool.

[JenE4]

Ok, to whomever called Caila as Eve with the apple in the "Almost Paradise" montage, you were totally right; the bookend is Ashley with a blue headscarf a la the Virgin Mary. And, yes, apparently Jared HAS told Ashley MANY times it's never going to happen; and her immediate response is never, never? Never ever to infinity and beyond!

Daniel: Come to me with riches and gold... (About licking icing off of Sarah) Depends whether you showered.

Twin: I don't know, Jorge, it's not looking too hot.

Daniel's top 5 reasons to sleep with a virgin: Number 1. "Please stand by!" But unfortunately you can't do that yet with science. (Dying!!!!)

Daniel's rose to Hayley?! Why?! I thought he had a connection with Sarah or the producers would make him keep Ashley, so why the twins?

How the heck does Ashley just ask to stay? Guessing because Daniel didn't listen to the producers to keep her. And she IMMEDIATELY tells Jared not to do anything with Caila in front of her; she's totally over him, though, and has an open mind!

Carl?! He's never been on this show! We would have noticed him! Brett? Ok, at least we got a clip, or I wouldn't have remembered him, either.

Ashley I, you are Not Here for the Right Reasons, sabotaging Jared and Caila so you still have a chance! But then I remembered that I'm Not Here for the Right Reasons, either, so the plot thickens! 

OMG, Caila, really?!? I wish the thirdish time back and forth Brett just said forget it and asked someone else. Not exactly the femme fatale they're trying to make her out to be--Miss Wishy Washy is more like it. She and Jared are BOTH too polite and passive; they'd never work long term because neither would ever pipe up to discuss issues.

Emily is riding Carl like Seabiscuit! Ha!

Ryan?! Come on! None of these guys were on the Bachelorette! Jared is his "old buddy" and "bro," though, so maybe he was? Hahaha Jared trying to pawn Ashley off on his old buddy, but Ryan's not falling on that grenade!

Oh, man, Papa Bear better have some pigeon left to give him a rose! You can take our Chad, but you can never take our Daniel!

Grant tells Lace he's in love with her, and she asks for more details. List all of my fabulous qualities so Bachelor Nation won't continue to think I'm crazy. Nice try, Lace!

Izzy, last week you were "in it to Vin it" and now you're trying to switch boyfriends with him sitting right there! I guess that's one way to let Vinny know, just raise your voice slightly. "Not ONE person...except for this one guy over here." But there's been like 6 other guys in between and she didn't even give a second glance to ONE of them! Ok, point of the show, but just silly the way she phrased it. 

[Mu Shu]

Ashley looks and sounds like Miranda Sings when she snivels.   She's such a lame actress.   Her shit was played out long ago.

That Ryan guy is pretty damn hot.

Carly judging Izzy for having the nerve to want to date an attractive guy.   She's just pissed she's settling for Casper Milquetoast.

the twins are in on the joke, and have become pretty entertaining.   I wouldn't want to kiss Daniel either.

[TiredMe]

I knew Ashley leaving was too good to be true. Her crying just grates. Daniel continues to entertain me though. Still fails to see the appeal,of Jared. No idea who Carl or Ryan are. 

[CalamityBoPeep]

Favorite laugh out loud moment for me: Ashley shows back up, and Nick groans. Such a perfect "oh, no" type groan. I laughed the first time, then again when they replayed it after the commercial break. Nick is turning out to be the best thing about this entire season.

[woodscommaelle]

Is that a chastity belt Ashley's wearing or a bathing suit?

[wovenloaf]

Does Carl speak? Or just do half-assed stripper moves in silence in the background?

[CalamityBoPeep]

2 minutes ago, woodscommaelle said:

Is that a chastity belt Ashley's wearing or a bathing suit?

Looked to me like a diaper with the sides cut out. It's been a while since I had toddlers, but at times that bikini's cut gave her a case of apparent droopy-drawers.

[betha]

Wishy-washy Caila and Jared deserve each other. Caila's 7--8? flip-flops gave me second-hand anxiety. When Caila left you can see exactly how Jared keeps Ashley just barely strung along. He pretends to be annoyed but loves the attention. 

Three new men who don't register at all... Way to throw all the boring arrivals on one night! 

Can't blame Izzy at all for wanting to explore options, nor do I think she strung Vinny along. She just isn't ready to commit to him. Better he find that out now than later.

[RedheadZombie]

I can barely look at Ashley in the midst of that manipulative howling.  When she's contorting her face and stretching out those huge red lips, it really borders into Faye Dunaway as Mommy Dearest.  And then the artfully displayed hand on the forehead, like she's present a refrigerator at The Price is Right - I just can't.  Jorge does not get paid enough to listen to that shit.  And Ashley does not get paid enough to throw away every ounce of dignity.  She needs an intervention.

[Ketzel]

Oh dear, the whole Ashley -Jared storyline is beyond boring at this point. She weeps, he wavers. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.  Ashley's whole "Please let me stay because I want to find love" was so damn stupid - what, Sarah was here for the pizza?

Caila, open your mouth and say nicely, but clearly to Jared: "As long as you keep doing things like voting to let Ashley stay, even after she's been ejected from Paradise according to the rules, then I will be keeping my options open, as you are obviously keeping yours!"

Edited August 23, 2016 by Ketzel

[LadyJaney]

Ashley I reminds me of Baby's sister from Dirty Dancing.  I guess that would make Jared her "Robby".  Jared doesn't seem to be into pretty much anything or anyone, I never get why so many ladies go for him, he just seems so drab.  He reminds me too much of a poor man's Scott Baio, and I got over Chachi long ago...

I almost wish that Ashley and Chad had met.  Imagine her falling for him and crying and obsessing over him.  He wouldn't know what hit him and would either oddly be into it or rendered speechless at the very least.

I did feel kind of bad for Vinny, but look at how these people are.  How can anyone be surprised.  

Still think Amanda and Josh are the grossest pair BIP has conjured yet.  Did I miss something, when did Carly fall for Evan?  How the ...?

I was laughing how nobody could remember Carl's name.  I will say, he is pretty nice to look at.

Edited August 23, 2016 by LadyJaney

[Nowhere]

Damn, I couldn't stand the twins but now I love them. How did they win my heart? Get out of here, you two, with your cute little antics and lack of intellect. I hate myself lol.

I really love Daniel.

So apparently I was wrong and Jared has been telling Ashley he's not romantically interested. HOWEVER, why the hell would he say, "I'm glad you're here. I wanted you to stay", as soon as he thought Caila wasn't interested anymore. Just keeping his options open with her, I see. That's not cool. Ashley is so obsessed, he cannot keep saying those things. What's wrong with him? Is he stupid?

Ashley on Caila: "She smiles when there's no reason to smile." Bingo! And it's annoying. That's why she seems fake to me. She also does this eyebrow thing when she's smiling at some people. Sort of like what you'd do when talking to a child. It's a very condescending expression. 

Not trying to be mean but Horseface really shouldn't base any relationship on looks. She has no room to talk in that category. Vinny is so sweet and adores her and she did throw it all away because that guy with helmet hair "looks good". That's not my opinion. Vinny is way better looking than him. He's actually on par with Nick in my opinion. She will regret her decision. I doubt that dude is interested in her. What a shallow bitch.

Nobody wants Sarah because she is whiny and reeks of desperation.

[FlyingEgret]

My cat was so annoyed with Ashley's crying that she unplugged the tv half way through tonight's episode - I actually debated whether or not to crawl behind the tv to plug it back in; but not wanting to miss out on more of Daniel's reasons to sleep with a virgin was the deciding factor - I should have listened to my cat...

[Nowhere]

21 minutes ago, CalamityBoPeep said:

Favorite laugh out loud moment for me: Ashley shows back up, and Nick groans. Such a perfect "oh, no" type groan. I laughed the first time, then again when they replayed it after the commercial break. Nick is turning out to be the best thing about this entire season.

And he pats Ashley on the leg and tells her to be her best self. LOL

[Ketzel]

My vote for funniest moment: Jared telling Caila he was really into her and wanted her to know it, as the producers played amplified Ashley sobs over the conversation. The only moment worth watching in that dreary saga.

Second funniest: She rides him like Seabiscuit!

Edited August 23, 2016 by Ketzel

[thejuicer]

So glad Sarah is gone (until next season of Bachelor in Paradise).  Surprised Daniel didn't give her the rose, though.

Watching Caila flip flop back and forth on a stupid date to the booze cruise made me really glad she didn't get chose to be The Bachelorette.  Her and boring vapid Jared deserve each other.

Izzy is so very hard to look at.

[kazza]

1 hour ago, adhoc said:

Seriously, is the demographic for this show 12-year-olds? Because this is my first time watching BiP, and it's pretty unwatchable if you're much older. Either it's an hour of distasteful Chad antics or it's an hour of Ashley I crying (pretty fakely, too, it sometimes looked like) and talking delusionally about how she and Jared are meant for each other and how watching Jared with someone else is her worst nightmare. My worst nightmare is trying to sit through this show, which is seeming more scripted by the minute. 

I couldn't watch tonight's episode without doing something else, which was a nice productivity bonus. They should rate tv shows with the amount of brain power required. 

Daniel was sweet when consoling Ashley, sharing that he's been in the same situation and encouraging her to find someone who wants to be with her. And noting Jared was ugly. Not sure what he was really saying with the whole dating 10 guys at once -- was he suggesting she sleep with multiple guys? It actually would sound like advice a guy would give.

The half-birthday cake was nice, and you kind of have to wonder if maybe it was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for Daniel, as he deadpanned. 

Ashley's got to be in on the joke. She seems to have a decent head on her shoulders in non-Jared related activities. It would be more likely that she knows it's what keeps her in the Bachelor-sphere, and so she milks it. It would be a shame if it detracts her -- or Jared -- from actually finding The One in real life, though. 

Caila flip-flopping on the date was a little annoying, but I can understand not really wanting to go but feeling like you kind of have to. I also liked that Nick called out how unnerving the whole Ashley thing must be for Caila. Up until then, it seemed like everyone was quick to judge her for her indecisiveness.

That booze cruise looked like my worst nightmare. Not a shocker at all that Haley (or was it Emily) had a great time. It also highlighted - in hindsight - how JoJo was a better choice as The Bachelorette. While a cheesy booze cruise may not have been JoJo's cup of tea, I get the sense she'd roll with the punches. Caila was clearly uncomfortable in the setting and showed it - which is perfectly fine in real life but not so much as TB. 

Best line -- Caila (turning away a gyrating guy): "No, no, I'm good. Thank you."

Poor Vinny. If they're only there for 3 weeks - and they've been there for 2 weeks already -- why wouldn't Izzy just give it another week? She liked him well enough, and at least she has a better chance of staying on tv (if that's her draw.) And if it doesn't work out, I hardly doubt she wouldn't be able to hang out with Brett post-show. (Her reaction to Brett reminded me of Amy on Big Bang Theory when she first met that hunky ex-boyfriend of Penny's. EEP.) 

Evan. Admitting again to faking an injury to get Carly to like him. Blech. 

Tomorrow's episode looks like a doozy. 

Edited August 23, 2016 by kazza

[Mu Shu]

I know, I know,. Amanda is the "hot" one, but every time she's on, I see the pachycephalasauras from one of the Jurassic Park movies.

[woodscommaelle]

23 minutes ago, thejuicer said:

Izzy is so very hard to look at.

I think she's cute.

[Nowhere]

It wasn't at all cool for Caila to go on a date with a guy when she knew she wanted to stay with Jared after she talked to him. So she monopolized the new guy's time and led him on in a way, when he could have actually had fun with someone else. She's a real stick in the mud. Girl, loosen up. You're not too pure for a little lap dance. It wasn't that dirty. Just laugh it off. Or here's a better idea. Don't go on a date with a guy when your heart is with someone else. I was indifferent to Caila when she was on The Bachelor and when she first came on the scene in BIP but I like her less and less by the second.

[backformore]

1 hour ago, adhoc said:

Seriously, is the demographic for this show 12-year-olds? Because this is my first time watching BiP, and it's pretty unwatchable if you're much older.

Sounds like you were sober when you watched it - rookie mistake!

[SassyCat]

31 minutes ago, kazza said:

 

Best line -- Caila (turning away a gyrating guy): "No, no, I'm good. Thank you."

 

That gyrating guy was wearing the same bathing suit as Brett, so that was her date humping around her face as she sat in that chair. I'd of said stop thrusting your dick at my face, jerk. Why do men think that women like that? I think he was trying to imitate Carl who was not being told to cool his jets, by Emily or Haley, I forget who was the "lucky" one on this date.

No wonder Caila ran back to Jarod as fast as she could get herself away from Brett. Yuck.

[Wandering Snark]

First of all, this is one of the greatest "reality" moments evar. Contestant gets kicked off according to rules but says "Fuck it, they like me I know they'll let me stay!" and she does. I think there already was a vote of sorts (via roses) and you were voted out legit. But no, I can still stay if you all let me! Wait... what?!? Too funny. As was the 'porting' in of her sobs over Cialis and Jared's convo.

Also I'd like to remind Izzy that she is not exactly the Belle of the Ball here... it's just inexplicable that someone could get their circuits flipped that quickly and easily! The most "stable" (used oh so loosely and relatively with this bunch) couple but then she's reaching out to another guy and is "75%" on the guy who she was lucky showed interest in her and was even thinking marriage?!? Yikes. The crazy on tonight's show was soooo ott it was like (no offense meant here) everything people say they hate about dealing with women in social situations. I personally came away thinking maybe Izzy is more crazy than Ashley I even.

I do have to say I like the twins and that they let the guy down easy about talking up to the wrong twin was cute. Check for ear jewelry next time dude.

Edited August 23, 2016 by Wandering Snark

[MVFrostsMyPie]

Wait, Jen's still there? I already forgot she was there. Has she talked this episode?

[backformore]

Hayley pretended to be interested n Daniel in order to get the rose, then acted like he was being a creep because he wanted to spend time with her.  Then she wears lingerie on a date with a new guy.

Ashley is eliminated, but she asks to come back - so the producers put her back on the show, but make it seem like the rest of the participants had a choice in the matter.  She promises to leave Jared alone, then doesn't -  AND asks him to not kiss Caila in front of her!  She really DOES feel like a special Disney princess - fuck the rules, I'll make my own rules!

Carly hasn't figured out that there's something between finding a guy repulsive and falling in love with him.   It's one or the other for her.

[MVFrostsMyPie]

I wonder if Evan's kissing skills magically improved. I don't know how you kiss him without gagging. I don't care how much I like a guy, if we're not in the same groove with our mouths, it's not happening. 

I can't help but crack up whenever Josh is moaning while he kisses. Do you think they kiss while one of them is taking a dump? Have they had sex yet, or is she trying to be like, "oh but I'm a mom and I have some class!" Grant and Lace have had sex. Who else is bumping uglies?

[kira28]

Izzy is the most unattractive girl there.  She has an ugly mouth and she's just plain. She's lucky Vinny was into her.  This new guy just wants a rose.  Caila would have been a terrible Bachelorette.  She's so indecisive and I now see why everyone thinks she's so fake!  It's like she has, no idea what she wants so she just smiles all the timetime.  She seems really dim.  When she was talking to Jared after her date I was so confused.  I thought she said she was coming back from the date to tell him she was sorry for going out with Brett and that she really liked Jared.  But then it sounded like she was breaking up with him.. But then he said he likes her and she smiles and goes along with that.  Evan is a terrible kisser.  Looked like he was just attacking her face . I really like Daniel.  He's amusing. 

[Padma]

I've changed my mind that Jared is a nice guy. I don't like people--men or women--who lead someone on. He didn't have to tell Ashley "I teared up because of you" or that "I'm glad you stayed". She gave him chances not to go there and he decided to encourage her instead. It was kind of jerk-y.

Ashley's an idiot. What does she do when they're in the real world? Has she moved next door to him? I think it would be unbearable for her to have him in some other town, living his own life without her. How does she cope with that when she is such a mess here?  Do they text or talk every day? Her behavior makes no sense.

Edited August 23, 2016 by Padma

[poopchute]

I don't understand what Ashley thought would happen on this show.  She said she didn't think she could handle seeing Jared give his rose to someone else blah blah. If she just wanted it to be him and her the whole time, why not just go on a fucking vacation together? Instead of a show where you are supposed to date other people? I just don't even understand what she thought it would be like.

[JenMcSnark]

I just can't stand Ashley I.  She is a psycho stalker from hell.  Wow.  I don't really care for any of the three now, although I liked Caila okay on Ben's season (the only one I've watched to be honest).  They just should have a threesome so everyone would be happy. 

I love Nick and Daniel. 

[Nowhere]

I feel like maybe Jared told Ashley that he would be interested in Caila, so then Ashley tried to intercept by befriending Caila. At which point Caila lied and said she would never get with him. Obviously, Ashley was straight forward to Caila about her fear that he would like her. At that point, if my theory is correct, Caila should have shut down the "friendship" because sorry but she did know she would like Jared. She should have been straight up about that. Instead she hangs out with Ashley multiple times and then goes back on her word.

I know I'm in the minority concerning "girl code" and this show (I hate the expression btw but it's the clearest way to explain). If you are friends with a woman enough to hang out, Skype, talk on the phone, then don't go after the man she loves. Period. There are plenty of fish in the sea. I am also a firm believer in sticking by your word. Caila's word means nothing obviously. She shouldn't have told Ashley she wouldn't date Jared. It's like they just want to mess with Ashley's head. She's unstable and obsessed. Jared and Caila should have shut down their relationship with Ashley if they wanted to be together. I know some people think "well that's what they're here for. It's the name of the game. She should get over it." I agree with that for all the normal people on the show who get it. But I don't think anyone should fuck with the emotions of a girl who definitely needs some sort of professional help. 

I think most of Ashley's problem is with Caila alone, since she knew Jared wanted her and Caila told her it wouldn't happen and he's not her type. I don't think it would have been as bad if he was really interested in the twin, for example.

[scrambled eggs]

Quote

Oh dear, the whole Ashley -Jared storyline is beyond boring at this point. She weeps, he wavers. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.  Ashley's whole "Please let me stay because I want to find love" was so damn stupid - what, Sarah was here for the pizza?

I feel so bad for Sarah, why does Ashley get this special treatment? She should have gotten to come back too. 

Also, I do not remember any of these latest batch of guys. They're really getting some bottom of the barrel picks. Though I think I also missed a lot of Andi's season. 

[Nowhere]

Also, I'm back to loving Carly now that she's not being so mean about Evan. I don't even like Evan much but I think it is sort of cute that they're together now. Especially since I think she's really pretty actually and she sort of fell for Evan naturally because she says he's a good person. That's what's up. Looks aren't everything.

What the hell with Evan admitting he faked that injury? I can't decide how I feel about that. I guess we all do weird things for love sometimes but hmmm. I wonder if I would be upset if I found out my boyfriend did that when we first met just so he could spend time with me or if I'd think it was funny. Idk. I think I'd laugh about that one though. There's something so weirdly flattering about it.

[MakeMeLaugh]

I think we know now why Ashley is still a virgin-what guy could put up with her delusional version of love long enough to sleep with her? Caila's as passive aggressive as Jared--they belong together. And yes she would have been a horrible Bachelorette.

Sarah is going to be so pissed that there was one rose for four women--okay, three women since the twins equal one woman--okay, only two women have to go home--okay, only one woman actually has to go home and it's you, Sarah. It's BIP math!

Those three new guys seem like the most normal in a real-world kind of way guys on this season, and cute, too. Andi sure had a great bunch of bachelors.

The twins and Daniel--once again, I lve them and seethem as  a reality sitcom waiting to happen. Come on, Show!

[Wandering Snark]

27 minutes ago, MakeMeLaugh said:

The twins and Daniel--once again, I love them and see them as  a reality sitcom waiting to happen. Come on, Show!

Hmm... like a man of debatable sexuality and two hot women living together in the same apartment or something? *grins* It could work.

[chocolatine]

1 hour ago, MattDuffysCat said:

I can't help but crack up whenever Josh is moaning while he kisses. Do you think they kiss while one of them is taking a dump? Have they had sex yet, or is she trying to be like, "oh but I'm a mom and I have some class!" 

Yes, they absolutely had sex on last Monday's episode. There was a train going through the tunnel montage, which is the ultimate proof.

52 minutes ago, Nowhere said:

Caila's word means nothing obviously.

Obviously. She goes back and forth on her word a million times, as we saw on this episode.

Is there anywhere I can catch the uncensored version of Daniel's five reasons why it's great to have sex with virgins? That guy is the best.

Ryan Beckett!!! Am I the only one who remembers him? He was criminally under-appreciated on Kaitlyn's season. He had funky glasses and wore a man-scarf like nobody's business.

[Kerri Okie]

3 hours ago, JenE4 said:

Ok, to whomever called Caila as Eve with the apple in the "Almost Paradise" montage, you were totally right; the bookend is Ashley with a blue headscarf a la the Virgin Mary.

That was me, but for the life of me I didn't get Ashley's intro shot until you brought up the Virgin Mary, but of course it makes perfect sense, so thank you.

[Nowhere]

2 hours ago, Mu Shu said:

I know, I know,. Amanda is the "hot" one, but every time she's on, I see the pachycephalasauras from one of the Jurassic Park movies.

Yuck to Amanda. Not the hot one. The baby talk and vocal fry is such a turn off and like someone before said, she does look like a baby dragon. If she wasn't grabbed up by Josh, I don't think she would have been very successful with the other men. I haven't heard another guy come in saying he was looking for her specifically. She's just average.

I think Lace is the hot one. Grant seemed very sincere btw when he said he loved her. 

[MVFrostsMyPie]

I just want to rip those eyelashes off of Lace's face. She looks like a poor man's Adrienne Curry. I feel about her eyelashes the way I feel about Nick's hair in Fear the Walking Dead. I can't focus on anything else when they're on screen.

None of the dudes are very attractive. I guess the most appealing one is Vinnie, and a lot of that is because of his personality. Then again, if I compare all of them to Arie, the hottest dude from this franchise, then they're all basic. 

The twins' yellow hair also makes my eye twitch.

[Padma]

I don't understand why they let Ashley come back. I was waiting for someone to say "Hell, no!" They had reasons--(1) fairness to Jared and Caila and (2) fairness to Sarah.  There was no one Ashley was interested in. She just was back to create problems. I would have been the bitch the internet hated and said, "Honestly, I think it's time to go, just like everyone else had to." I truly have no sympathy for her and her stupid obsession, her whining and her tears. She's the opposite of entertaining.

ITA it would be great to get some of these (women, in particular, though Evan, too) makeovers. Better blonding for the twins, get rid of the awful eyelashes on Lace, etc.

On the bright side, at least we don't see or hear much from smarmy smug Josh and annoying baby-talking Amanda (who's really not "all that". I have a feeling Josh hooked up exactly as Nick suspected--just to make him feel bad--and as hotter women show up, he's going to regret it.)  I don't understand why most of them seem to think of Nick as a big brother rather than a love interest, but at least that -does- say something good about him that we didn't get to see on Andi or Kaitlyn's seasons.

[chocolatine]

12 minutes ago, Padma said:

I don't understand why most of them seem to think of Nick as a big brother rather than a love interest, but at least that -does- say something good about him that we didn't get to see on Andi or Kaitlyn's seasons.

We did see on Andi's season that Nick is one of the older siblings in a very large family, and that his youngest sister was 10 years old at the time. Perhaps the older brother behavior naturally comes out when he's around women with the same level of maturity as his youngest sister, like the twins and Ashely I.

Edited August 23, 2016 by chocolatine

[bblancobrnx]

Just wanted to share a chuckle I had at the awful editing. At 14 min into the show they have Carly doing a TH and she says "...this is one of the weirdest cocktail parties yet..." they words "cocktail parties" was so clearly dubbed in from a completely different conversation. Makes me wonder what she was really talking about there if not the cocktail party. Give me a break editors

[thejuicer]

4 hours ago, Padma said:

I don't understand why they let Ashley come back. I was waiting for someone to say "Hell, no!" They had reasons--(1) fairness to Jared and Caila and (2) fairness to Sarah.  There was no one Ashley was interested in. She just was back to create problems. I would have been the bitch the internet hated and said, "Honestly, I think it's time to go, just like everyone else had to." I truly have no sympathy for her and her stupid obsession, her whining and her tears. She's the opposite of entertaining.

But see you're not a pathetic famewhore who cares more about public opinion of "Bachelor Nation" more than you value your own dignity.

[JudyObscure]

Quote

6 hours ago, Nowhere said:

Caila lied and said she would never get with him

 

Caila got on my last nerve barking, "Yeah!" about sixty times in a row, snapping it over the ends of Jared's and Brett's sentences as a form of interruption.  I hate  when people do that.  I was meh about her during TB but now that she's being portrayed as the perfect Goddess of Paradise all I can see are her flaws,  putty nose,  jutting teeth, chubby legs, boring personality.   Claire must be sitting at home as confused as I am.

Izzy is also getting a prettier looking storyline than she deserves.  Sometimes she remind me of Debra Winger, who I love, but other times her mouth looks just like Bill Murray's in Caddyshack and I expect her to start talking about Varmit Cong.

But who knows what anyone sees in anyone else.  To me, Brett has zero sex appeal.  Were the women really getting turned on by jeans and sandals?  Would they want my sixty year old neighbor?

[thesupremediva1]

Well, many deeply held beliefs of mine suffered damage this evening.

Daniel, every shred of goodwill you incurred with your humor was washed out to sea tonight when you picked that twin over Sarah. You aren't cute and irreverent, you're an ass masquerading as a harmless Canadian. You're just a wannabe Josh with better vocabulary. We are done.

I was under the impression that no rose meant you had to leave. A woman like Sarah demonstrates self-respect and leaves with dignity and never comes back. An entitled brat like Ashley and her Baby Jane lips comes back begging to stay and the cast is fine with it? OK, I'm not even sure what show I'm watching anymore. Shouldn't there have been a parlay with Chris Harrison to discuss this? Bend the rules for one and we have to bend the rules for all. I'm a millennial but Ashley is a real Millennial - spoiled, entitled, unable to see why everyone around her doesn't recognize her special snowflake status.

As usual, Carly expresses a healthy dose of skepticism at this turn of events while the rest of the bots play nice. And Nick, because he's awesome and gives zero fucks, groans in chorus with the rest of Bachelor Nation. #NickforPresidentofParadise

My opinion of Jojo wasn't very high following her season. Her stock skyrocketed after Caila's display of indecisiveness. THANK CHRIST she wasn't chosen as Bachelorette - they'd still be filming the season. Pick yes or no you twit, no one needs to look that closely at the near-empty inner workings of your cranium. She's one of those girls who was allowed to behave like a fruit fly her entire life because she's just so darn pretty and sweet. Dear Lord that was a turn-off. Ashley, with all her sobbing, became far more palatable to me in that moment than Caila. I wanted to slap her through the screen, mostly because she came off as fake and arrogant. Give a yes or no answer and move the fuck on.

Brett - you are super hot. Why in hell would you allow Caila to yoyo you like that? She clearly didn't want to go with you. Then she acted totally rude and icy on the actual date. She and Jared deserve each other. If I were Brett I'd have shut her down the first time she backtracked. 

"Day 1" for these people was about 5 days ago. I feel bad for Vinny but Izzy is free to like someone else. I'm not sure Brett is into her and I don't think this will end well, but if she wants to explore something different that is her prerogative and the point of the show. It's not like she blindsided him at tribal council and sent him packing.

And finally.... Ashley and her histrionics. There are only two options here - she's an Oscar-worthy actress or she needs a visit from the men in the white coats. I don't believe anyone can fake that level of attachment or would purposely make such an ass of themselves.

[kira28]

Last night I totally saw why Jared is at fault for leading Ashley on.. When he was upset over Caila going on the date he told Ashley he cried or teared up. Over her, not Caila.. Why in the he'll would u tell a woman who won't leave you alone that you got upset over hurting her?  It's no wonder she has hope!! He keeps throwing her crumbs.  He needs to cut off all contact with Ashley. 

[Primetimer]

Things devolve even further in paradise when several cast members take to the open seas. Who ranked the best and worst this week?

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