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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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On 6/15/2018 at 5:46 PM, Jynnan tonnix said:

Given that whenever I see reference to canned apple pie filling, my mind goes directly to Aunt Sandra's Kwanzaa cake, that may not be such a stretch...

I had heard that it was legendary and finally was able to see it. What a slap in the face to Kwanzaa! 

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On 6/16/2018 at 7:05 PM, jcbrown said:

I think it is utterly disgusting to have kids in diapers in a pool. Might be just me but eyew.

Just curious but do they allow adults in Depends in pools?  I am not being snarky.  I don't relish the idea swimming with anyone who wears diapers.  I am not a parent so I have not faced the issue and I do not swim in public pools.

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13 hours ago, DragonFaerie said:

So the swimming pool thing - most of the pools I've seen/been to in the past few years will allow swim diapers and generally another barrier.  They all have posted anyone, baby to adults, that have had diarrhea within the past 7 days cannot go into the pool.  So I'm not freaked out that much on Izzy and Sam.  Because, you know, Jill and Derilick in the pool with his black armpit stains and who knows the last time they showered has me grossed out more.

I gather Derek didn’t bathe for a week to have those pit stains. 

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13 minutes ago, louannems said:

Why is Jill so pleased that Derick is teaching his sons to take "car" of their mother?  I always thought moms take care of their children, not the other way around!

Well considering who her mother is it is a given Jill thinks this way.

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(edited)
20 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

Just curious but do they allow adults in Depends in pools?  I am not being snarky.  I don't relish the idea swimming with anyone who wears diapers.  I am not a parent so I have not faced the issue and I do not swim in public pools.

Our HOA board had to deal with this. Our pool rules require any person - regardless of age - who needs diapers, to wear swim diapers in the pools. Defined as garments specifically made and commercially sold for that purpose (because you just *know* somebody's gonna wrap their kid's butt, or their own if they're an adult with incontinence, in some kind of improvised trash bag and claim it's a swim diaper). This rule about swim diapers replaced rule that banned from the pool, persons who had to wear diapers. Whatever the state of the science about swim diapers and sanitation, the powers that be are all over HOAs that don't allow swim diapers in their community pools, as being a violation of the Federal Fair Housing Act (discrimination against families with children). 

And, yes, the rules - as I'm sure all community pool rules do - forbids people who have diarrhea to use the pools, and requires people to shower off first. And of course we have no clue if anybody really pays attention to that. Because, people can be jerks.

Back to the Dillards, if Jill's actually swimming, I don't give a flying fart what she wears doing it, as long as she doesn't get tangled up in it and drown. 

Did we decide if the Dillard kids are in swim diapers, or is this another Duggar/Dillard deal where they do what they want because Jesus has made them so special? Or so ignorant?

Edited by Jeeves
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17 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Our HOA board had to deal with this. Our pool rules require any person - regardless of age - who needs diapers, to wear swim diapers in the pools. Defined as garments specifically made and commercially sold for that purpose (because you just *know* somebody's gonna wrap their kid's butt, or their own if they're an adult with incontinence, in some kind of improvised trash bag and claim it's a swim diaper). This rule about swim diapers replaced rule that banned from the pool, persons who had to wear diapers. Whatever the state of the science about swim diapers and sanitation, the powers that be are all over HOAs that don't allow swim diapers in their community pools, as being a violation of the Federal Fair Housing Act (discrimination against families with children). 

And, yes, the rules - as I'm sure all community pool rules do - forbids people who have diarrhea to use the pools, and requires people to shower off first. And of course we have no clue if anybody really pays attention to that. Because, people can be jerks.

Back to the Dillards, if Jill's actually swimming, I don't give a flying fart what she wears doing it, as long as she doesn't get tangled up in it and drown. 

Did we decide if the Dillard kids are in swim diapers, or is this another Duggar/Dillard deal where they do what they want because Jesus has made them so special? Or so ignorant?

Thank you!  Good to know!  

I remember watching Undercover Boss where the business was an indoor waterslide park.  They had a floater and cleaned it out, threw more chemicals into the pool and it was good to go.  Made me check off waterparks from my to do list.  I was curious how they handled that since it would be hard to empty the water, scrub the pools etc with that many guests.  

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Interesting topic - question regarding showering off.  Don't know if the Dillards shower, but, for adults too, the theory being to wash off sunscreen, etc?  Well, it is supposed to be worn in the water.  I thought the showering was to clean the private parts of recent bodily function activity, no?  And who does that.  If one showers at home, and then comes to the pool and uses restroom, what then?  Hard to know.  I guess since we haven't gotten sick in our subdivision pool we are good to go.

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(edited)

I haven't used either of my city's public pools in a few years, and honestly, I had no idea that "swim diapers" even existed!  My daughter didn't swim in public pools until she was 4, and had been potty-trained for 2 years.  She's in her mid-30's now, so this was in the 80's.

It's good to have that info.  I'm not a swimmer, but I have gone water-walking in prior years, so my face wasn't submerged.  I have to admit to being a germaphobe, and old-school.  

Dammit, get off my lawn, you and your mangy little dog!

When I was a 60's kid, the pool policy was for women/girls to have to wear bathing caps.  Then we entered the long-haired age for men as well, and that policy was done away with.

Edited by xwordfanatik
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On 6/17/2018 at 12:24 PM, Mollie said:

That long, long Father's Day message and not a single mention of Derick's stepfather Ronnie, who has known Derick much longer than Derick has known Jill.  Ronnie was at Cathy's side all during her cancer treatment and his love and support no doubt aided in her recovery.  I don't know why Derick and Jill insult Cathy's husband by ignoring him all the time and focusing on Rick, who has been dead for 10 years.  It's not very nice behavior from such 'godly' people.

I can understand that Derick doesn’t see Ronnie as a stepfather- having  been an adult when they met. He probably only lived with him between Nepal and his marriage to Jill. However,  Derick and Jill ignore him 24/7/365.  I get the feeling that Derick and Jill ( and Jill’s family) believe that a widow or widower should never remarry.   I really think that’s the main issue. 

I don’t remember Jill and Dericks wedding invitation including Ronnie, while Dans did. I think Dan likes Ronnie and appreciates him taking care of Cathy. Dan would have a much better appreciation as to what all that was since he probably saw more of Cathy and Ronnie after Dericks wedding  than Derek did. 

Edited by mythoughtis
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2 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

I can understand that Derick doesn’t see Ronnie as a stepfather- having  been an adult when they met. He probably only lived with him between Nepal and his marriage to Jill. However,  Derick and Jill ignore him 24/7/365.  I get the feeling that Derick and Jill ( and Jill’s family) believe that a widow or widower should never remarry.   I really think that’s the main issue. 

I don’t remember Jill and Dericks wedding invitation including Ronnie, while Dans did. I think Dan likes Ronnie and appreciates him taking care of Cathy. Dan would have a much better appreciation as to what all that was since he probably saw more of Cathy and Ronnie after Dericks wedding  than Derek did. 

 

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11 hours ago, ginger90 said:

 

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Something about this feels off to me with regards to proper etiquette.  Dan's announcement feels correct since his mother has remarried.  It would have cost nothing for Derick and Jill to include Ronnie's name.  I know the Duggars have to do things a little different, but etiquette exists so you don't unintentionally insult people.  Honestly, the only reason not to include Ronnie's name is if he specifically asked to leave it off. 

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1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Something about this feels off to me with regards to proper etiquette.  Dan's announcement feels correct since his mother has remarried.  It would have cost nothing for Derick and Jill to include Ronnie's name.  I know the Duggars have to do things a little different, but etiquette exists so you don't unintentionally insult people.  Honestly, the only reason not to include Ronnie's name is if he specifically asked to leave it off. 

My mother-in-law remarried after my father-in-law passed away. When my sister-in-law married, her wedding invitations were worded similarly to Jill & Derick's invitation. While all of the adult children loved him and their children called him grandpa, he wasn't their father and they never referred to him as their stepfather, but as their mother's husband. His adult children never considered my mil as their mother, either, although their children called her grandma. So, based on my limited family experience, I don't think Derick was out of line not putting Ronnie on his wedding invitation, even though Dan did.

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28 minutes ago, Nysha said:

My mother-in-law remarried after my father-in-law passed away. When my sister-in-law married, her wedding invitations were worded similarly to Jill & Derick's invitation. While all of the adult children loved him and their children called him grandpa, he wasn't their father and they never referred to him as their stepfather, but as their mother's husband. His adult children never considered my mil as their mother, either, although their children called her grandma. So, based on my limited family experience, I don't think Derick was out of line not putting Ronnie on his wedding invitation, even though Dan did.

I agree, it's a personal thing and it doesn't mean Derick doesn't like Ronnie or vice versa.  For that matter, a lot of people only put the names of the brides' parents on a wedding invite and omit the groom's unless they're sharing the cost. 

I wouldn't blame Ronnie if he doesn't like Derick, I don't like him either.  I just don't think the wording of the wedding invitations is a real clue to the relationship.

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1 minute ago, doodlebug said:

I agree, it's a personal thing and it doesn't mean Derick doesn't like Ronnie or vice versa.  For that matter, a lot of people only put the names of the brides' parents on a wedding invite and omit the groom's unless they're sharing the cost. 

I wouldn't blame Ronnie if he doesn't like Derick, I don't like him either.  I just don't think the wording of the wedding invitations is a real clue to the relationship.

That's where I'm coming from too. Also I don't know the whole timeline, but if Derick's dad died while he was in college, I don't think Derick would have spent much time around Ronnie by the time he married Jill. He was in college and then I think he went to Nepal right after that, then came home and had barely found his assigned cubicle as a Walmart employee when he married Jill. 

Dan married a few years later than Derick, and AFAIK has pretty much stayed in Arkansas anyway. He's probably spent much more time with Ronnie than Derick has. By the time of Dan's wedding it probably felt right to him, to include Ronnie's name on the invites.

As @doodlebug said, you can't read too much into the wording of those invites. Derick and Ronnie may get along just fine. 

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8 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

That's where I'm coming from too. Also I don't know the whole timeline, but if Derick's dad died while he was in college, I don't think Derick would have spent much time around Ronnie by the time he married Jill. He was in college and then I think he went to Nepal right after that, then came home and had barely found his assigned cubicle as a Walmart employee when he married Jill. 

Dan married a few years later than Derick, and AFAIK has pretty much stayed in Arkansas anyway. He's probably spent much more time with Ronnie than Derick has. By the time of Dan's wedding it probably felt right to him, to include Ronnie's name on the invites.

As @doodlebug said, you can't read too much into the wording of those invites. Derick and Ronnie may get along just fine. 

I just checked out Prince Harry's wedding invites (because the British royal family and the Duggars are so similar, except not).  The invitation was issued by his father, the Prince of Wales.  Not a mention of Harry's late mother or of Camilla.  Now, I don't think anyone doubts that Harry loved his mother and misses her very much and that, whatever her part in his parents' divorce, he has a seemingly friendly, cordial relationship with his father's current wife.  You just cannot read too much into this stuff. BTW, there is no mention of either of Meghan's parents on the invite, presumably because Charles paid for the whole thing.

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Having a step parent after the biological parent dies, is a very complex situation.  On this one, I'm going to give Derick a pass.  

The only time I did see them interact (i mentioned above) was when Derick shook his hand and I took note of it because we rarely, if ever, have seen an interaction with Mr. Byrum and Derick.  Derick is a jack ass but he appeared genuine with Mr. Byrum.  

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On 6/15/2018 at 6:46 PM, Jynnan tonnix said:

Given that whenever I see reference to canned apple pie filling, my mind goes directly to Aunt Sandra's Kwanzaa cake, that may not be such a stretch...

Aunt Sandy's lopsided Kwanzaa cake is one of the classic televised food fails of all times. Jill may outdo it because Jill is cooking her crap sober. 

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Easy Pan Fried Bean & Cheese Burritos

Jun 19, 2018 | Recipes | 0 

Ok, so now that I’m married with our little family of four, we majorly downsize this recipe! lol  This recipe (downsized of course) is perfect for when you’ve got just a little bit of leftover beans and rice and some tortillas on hand! Makes for a quick dinner that most kiddos love! I substitute whatever beans I’ve got on hand (tonight it’s a mixture of black and pinto beans) for the cooked pinto beans. You can also use refried beans.

Serves 18

8 C. pinto beans (cooked)

1 pkg. Taco seasoning or burrito seasoning

2-4 C. cooked rice (optional, may need to add more taco seasoning if adding rice)

2 C. shredded cheddar cheese

30 tortilla shells (medium-large)

olive oil (for cooking)

 

Toppings (optional):

16 oz. sour cream

hot sauce

*homemade guacamole *

salsa

jalapeños

Mash or blend beans and rice together with cheese. Heat small amount of olive oil in pan. Place open face tortilla with mixture spread on 1/2 of tortilla in pan. Cook till golden brown. Fold top over. Cut into triangles with pizza cutter to eat easier. Add desired toppings. Enjoy!

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Does Cathy mention her husband much on social media? If not, then it seems likely to me that he doesn't enjoy that sort of thing and the family respects his wishes. 

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5 minutes ago, graefin said:

So why the fuck doesn't she give us that "downsized" recipe she mentions twice? You'd think there are perhaps more families of four in her reading audience than families of 18, but maybe I'm judging that wrong.

Also, I make something very similar (well, except the ingredients are vegan ;). However, in my world they are called "quesadillas," not "pan-fried burritos." I didn't even know the latter existed.

Because, math !

What she made is not a burrito ?  !

It’s amusing that even when she uses her own photos, it doesn’t match the recipe.

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PS for anyone wanting to punish themselves: Jill has a live video on her Insta stories where she talks about the recipe and asks Izzy more leading questions. There's also a photo on her Insta of the guac she made, complete with avocado pit in the middle of the bowl. I just can't with her.

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24 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Easy Pan Fried Bean & Cheese Burritos

Jun 19, 2018 | Recipes | 0 

Ok, so now that I’m married with our little family of four, we majorly downsize this recipe! lol  This recipe (downsized of course) is perfect for when you’ve got just a little bit of leftover beans and rice and some tortillas on hand! Makes for a quick dinner that most kiddos love! I substitute whatever beans I’ve got on hand (tonight it’s a mixture of black and pinto beans) for the cooked pinto beans. You can also use refried beans.

Serves 18

8 C. pinto beans (cooked)

1 pkg. Taco seasoning or burrito seasoning

2-4 C. cooked rice (optional, may need to add more taco seasoning if adding rice)

2 C. shredded cheddar cheese

30 tortilla shells (medium-large)

olive oil (for cooking)

 

Toppings (optional):

16 oz. sour cream

hot sauce

*homemade guacamole *

salsa

jalapeños

Mash or blend beans and rice together with cheese. Heat small amount of olive oil in pan. Place open face tortilla with mixture spread on 1/2 of tortilla in pan. Cook till golden brown. Fold top over. Cut into triangles with pizza cutter to eat easier. Add desired toppings. Enjoy!

 

She had an Insta story on Instagram making these. I didn't watch the whole thing nor did I have the volume on..lol

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10 minutes ago, graefin said:

So why the fuck doesn't she give us that "downsized" recipe she mentions twice? You'd think there are perhaps more families of four in her reading audience than families of 18, but maybe I'm judging that wrong.

Also, I make something very similar (well, except the ingredients are vegan ;). However, in my world they are called "quesadillas," not "pan-fried burritos." I didn't even know the latter existed.

I'm glad someone else lives in my world. NOT burritos, Jill!

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1 minute ago, graefin said:

PS for anyone wanting to punish themselves: Jill has a live video on her Insta stories where she talks about the recipe and asks Izzy more leading questions. There's also a photo on her Insta of the guac she made, complete with avocado pit in the middle of the bowl. I just can't with her.

An avocado pit in the middle actually does help a lot in keeping any leftover guac from browning (covered, of course). Keeping the pit inside an unused avocado half keeps it from browning better than any wrap I've ever tried. Even if you don't cover it, all it will keep the unused half practically green (you might need to shave off just a thin layer). I don't know why it works, but it was one of those random helpful hints that I read a couple of years ago which really turned out to be a game-changer. So I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt on that!

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Guacamole Recipe

Jun 19, 2018 | Recipes | 2 

My mom taught me how to make this delicious guacamole! The more lime and cilantro the better! My family (the Duggars) usually quadruple this recipe!

2 avocados*

1 roma tomato (diced)

3 T. lime juice

1/4 C. cilantro** (washed and finely chopped)

1/4 t. salt

1/4 t. pepper

1/4 t. garlic powder

1/4 t. onion powder

corn tortilla chips (for serving)

Smash avocados (save 1 seeds for later). Add all other ingredients. Add avocado seeds to help keep guacamole from turning brown. Serve with corn tortilla chips or as a side with Mexican food!

*Trick: when trying to get seeds out of an avocado, (after you have cut them in half) put your knife into the seed and twist and it will come right out!

**I usually wash and chop my cilantro when I get it from the store, then keep it in the freezer so I can throw in however much I need into my recipes. It’s chopped so small, that I don’t even notice a difference. I do prefer fresh or frozen cilantro over dried (it just wouldn’t have the same flavor, especially in an uncooked dish).

(1) put knife into seed and twist

(2) usually removes the seed nicely without having to dig it out (unless avocado isn’t completely ripe)

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33 minutes ago, Portia said:

Does Cathy mention her husband much on social media? If not, then it seems likely to me that he doesn't enjoy that sort of thing and the family respects his wishes. 

She hasn’t, to my knowledge.

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38 minutes ago, Portia said:

Does Cathy mention her husband much on social media? If not, then it seems likely to me that he doesn't enjoy that sort of thing and the family respects his wishes. 

That's always been my take. He clearly doesn't think much of the dog-and-pony show and wants no part of it. 

I honestly have no serious issues with any of my family members, but if any of them were part of a reality show, they better forever leave my name out of their mouths except in private. 

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45 minutes ago, Madtown said:

She had an Insta story on Instagram making these. I didn't watch the whole thing nor did I have the volume on..lol

If this bean dish is served as an entree for a meatless meal, then I doubt it would serve 18, unless mostly children.

I do weight watchers, and I measure out one cup of cooked beans if I'm having a meatless meal.

Also, 2 cups of cheese divided by 18 people is less than 2 Tablespoons

each!

30 tortillas divided by 8 cups of beans is about 1/4th cup of beans apeice.

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(edited)
9 minutes ago, louannems said:

If this bean dish is served as an entree for a meatless meal, then I doubt it would serve 18, unless mostly children.

I do weight watchers, and I measure out one cup of cooked beans if I'm having a meatless meal.

Also, 2 cups of cheese divided by 18 people is less than 2 Tablespoons

each!

30 tortillas divided by 8 cups of beans is about 1/4th cup of beans apeice.

That reminds me of the video Priscilla Waller made several months back where she was hosting a baby shower. She said she was expecting around 30 people and proceeded to show off an 8 x 8 glass pan of nacho dip that was their only hot appetizer. I just picture guests being handed a single Tostito as they walk through the door the way regular people get drink tickets at a charity event. 

Edited by BitterApple
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1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

Easy 371C57EB-9888-4C87-BF6B-4831E6687BA9.jpeg

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Pretty sure that's just a bean and cheese quesadilla, Jilly. It's the easiest thing to cook and doesn’t even warrant a recipe. 

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1 hour ago, Sew Sumi said:

Derelict looks almost normal here.

"I miss him and I'm grateful for his example of a godly man, but I'm thankful to have my own sons now."

Why the "but"? Sounds like, "Dad was great, but whatever, I have my own kids now!"

What he probably meant: I miss my dad. I am grateful for his example of a godly man and I am thankful that I can share his example with my own sons now.

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On 6/18/2018 at 5:31 PM, Kokapetl said:

Any properly run public pool ?? monitors and adjusts chlorine levels as necessary. Infants have swimming lessons these days, and all infants shit themselves. 

And club pool, private pool, home pool, condo pool, apartment complex pool .......  a few years ago, at  the condo complex where my husband rented his work related home away from home,  while I was visiting, a little girl had an accident despite all the protective diapers.  One hour was the rule for the pool filters and the added chemicals to clean the pool.  I am always amazed at the sheltered lives so  many people lead!

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7 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

An avocado pit in the middle actually does help a lot in keeping any leftover guac from browning (covered, of course). Keeping the pit inside an unused avocado half keeps it from browning better than any wrap I've ever tried. Even if you don't cover it, all it will keep the unused half practically green (you might need to shave off just a thin layer). I don't know why it works, but it was one of those random helpful hints that I read a couple of years ago which really turned out to be a game-changer. So I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt on that!

Aha! Thanks for that tip--I do keep the pit in halved avos, but would never have thought to with mashed/guac! Surprised Jill was aware of that tidbit in any case.

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2 hours ago, Heathen said:

That's the best Derelict has looked since the jacked-up mouth surgery. LOL at Samuel about to grab Derelict's face, or something. 

I don't usually like to mock people's looks because it's the one thing they have no control over, but since Derick chooses to act like an ass, all bets are off :P He's got his teeth on straight in this photo ;) And I agree, that "but" sentence sounds really fucked up, like, "it was nice while you were around, but it's OK that you're dead because I have my own kids now." BUT I'm sure we're used to odd-sounding statements from Derick by now ("this is my youngest audience yet, but I had fun nonetheless").

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4 hours ago, graefin said:

I don't usually like to mock people's looks because it's the one thing they have no control over, but since Derick chooses to act like an ass, all bets are off :P He's got his teeth on straight in this photo ;) And I agree, that "but" sentence sounds really fucked up, like, "it was nice while you were around, but it's OK that you're dead because I have my own kids now." BUT I'm sure we're used to odd-sounding statements from Derick by now ("this is my youngest audience yet, but I had fun nonetheless").

He should probably have all photos taken from that angle...I think the more aligned-looking teeth are a sort of optical illusion, much in the way that sidewalk art, say, has to be drawn severely elongated so that it will look right when seen from a distance along a flat plane.

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1 hour ago, QuinnInND said:

Silly Jilly.. That's a quesadilla. (sp?) And she knows what Cilantro is?? I'm stunned. And anyone who thinks that Mechelle actually ever made this, stand on your head. 

Jilly's come a long way from the days where she claimed she couldn't find chili powder while living in Danger America.

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15 minutes ago, Heathen said:

Israel is three years old and wearing a bib? I don't remember my brother wearing a bib that late, but maybe I'm misremembering. 

He is a little old for that, but maybe he's still a messy eater. My 2 year olds still wear one depending on what they are eating. But not as a matter of course. 

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So the "pan-fried burritos" recipe is for 18, but the guacamole recipe is for two (even though it ostensibly came from her mom)? I know it's meant to be used as a condiment, but how is one supposed to reconcile the math?

2 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

Silly Jilly.. That's a quesadilla. (sp?) And she knows what Cilantro is?? I'm stunned. And anyone who thinks that Mechelle actually ever made this, stand on your head. 

I don't actually think Michelle has cooked anything at all (and I'm using the definition of "cook" loosely here) in the last 15 to 20 years. 

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16 hours ago, Picture It. Sicily said:

Thank you! I'm sitting here going, "Isn't that a quesadilla?!" But isn't she an expert on Latin cultures??

I am sitting here wondering WHY anyone needs a recipe for that?  Seriously.  It's like a recipe for a grilled cheese.  

15 hours ago, louannems said:

If this bean dish is served as an entree for a meatless meal, then I doubt it would serve 18, unless mostly children.

I do weight watchers, and I measure out one cup of cooked beans if I'm having a meatless meal.

Also, 2 cups of cheese divided by 18 people is less than 2 Tablespoons

each!

30 tortillas divided by 8 cups of beans is about 1/4th cup of beans apeice.

Fellow WW gal here!  I use the version from 1999 since it works for me and I am too cheap to pay for the new one.

I am giving this recipe the side eye.  NO WAY is anyone in that family buying avocado's let alone enough for that giant family.  That is not frugal at all.  Nor does it fit with the narrative they created years ago.   Plus it comes from the produce aisle, not the canned aisle.  

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