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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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I wonder if part of the reason Jill looks so rough recently is (what appears to be) lack of makeup. There's nothing wrong with not wearing makeup but to go from always wearing it to almost never will be jarring for others who are used to seeing her a certain way. Considering how much time the unmarried Duggar girls spend in front of the mirror every day maybe now that she has her man and is pregnant and dealing with morning sickness she has said F this, I don't have the time or inclination to deal with all of that fuss every day

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That flannel shirt picture is the first I've seen of her where she looks pregnant instead of as if she's just arching her back and sticking out her stomach as much as possible. That's a good-size belly; I wonder if the baby turns out big if she'll need a C-section.

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There was another photo of Jill with a sloppy flannel shirt on too. If she's not able to care for her hair properly for whatever reason, it's time to cut that hair. There isn't much of an excuse for her now, even though she's expecting because it's just her in the house all day all week when derickdilllard is at work. I cut her slack when she wasn't feeling well early on, but now she's over the nausea and should take care of herself. I can see her going downhill rapidly appearance-wise folks. Her hair looks awful in the above photo. Also, Jana needs to quit dressing like a little girl.

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There was another photo of Jill with a sloppy flannel shirt on too. If she's not able to care for her hair properly for whatever reason, it's time to cut that hair. There isn't much of an excuse for her now, even though she's expecting because it's just her in the house all day all week when derickdilllard is at work. I cut her slack when she wasn't feeling well early on, but now she's over the nausea and should take care of herself. I can see her going downhill rapidly appearance-wise folks. Her hair looks awful in the above photo. Also, Jana needs to quit dressing like a little girl.

I think she's following in her mother's footsteps in her appearance. It looks like she's wearing one of the puffy sleeve maternity shirts in the Thanksgiving picture. This one was red & we've seen her in a turquoise one in the wedding TH. Maybe the Duggar ladies get a discount on them since they have bought so many.

I agree with everyone that Jilly needs to take some scissors to that mop. She has a thin face & the length of her hair seems to make her face even thinner/longer. I just read an article about hormones & it mentioned during pregnancy the hormones make your hair grow quicker & healthier. I think it's going to take time for the hormones to reach the foot of dead ends she has. (Ha ha) She also has plenty of time to try different styles (braids, ponytails, etc) Maybe Anna could give her some pointers cuz Kynzie's hair looks cute esp the French braids. I know Derick said he likes it long & wavy (the way she always wears it) so I guess she has to bide by his wishes.

Being a J'slave, she should know little baby hands love to get tangled up in longer hair. My hair was shoulder length when my son was little & remember him getting his hands in my hair & pulling.

Since she has a Servant's Heart, she could donate it to Locks of Love or something similar but they may not take it cuz it's so damaged.

Regarding her size, when are pregnant women tested for gestational diabetes? I don't want to start rumors& a big discussion about it, but have had friends with it & the babies were big. For her sake, I hope she doesn't have it but that came to mind seeing how big she is. I wonder if MEchelle had gestational diabetes with any of her pregnancies. I don't think so cuz once again, if she did, we would have heard about it.

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I'm not picking on Jilly Muffin here, I'm really not, but did anyone see the photo posted of her sporting her maternity belly in a tight spandex undershirt? She's wearing this horrendous oversized plaid flannel shirt. It looks awful and she looks like a sloppy mess IMO. Someone should turn her over and wash the floor with her hair.

 

Jill in her tank top and flannel shirt, looks like the pregnant women in her age group that I see all over the place (I live in a major metropolis). 

Edited by duggarfan
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Here you go:

24e0a10ebaf0c800fde4.jpg

Jillymuffin looks like a lumberjack. The hair has got to go once she has little baby Dill. At least tie it up in a ponytail or bun.

I agree that she's following Michelle's footsteps in terms of her "style", or lack thereof. Will Jill be rocking the scraggly, dried out hair when she's 40+?

Edited by Joe Jitsu913
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In 14 kids and pregnant again the Duggars said most of them bathe once or twice a week. More if they get dirty. But there was always a line for the bathroom which is sad

Yes

Ick

Here you go:

 

24e0a10ebaf0c800fde4.jpg

 

I seriously see a lot of Jim Bob in Jill, at least in this photo.

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Ick

I seriously see a lot of Jim Bob in Jill, at least in this photo.

It's weird because I always thought Jill looked like Michelle while Jana and Joy looked like Boob, yet in this photo it's the complete opposite.

 

Regarding the hair, if you compare the three sisters, the longer hair looks good on Jana and Joy because they have wider, fuller faces where it balances them out. Jill has a more narrow, thin face which is why I think the extreme length is so unflattering. Get thee to SuperCuts asap, Jilly Muffin.

Edited by BitterApple
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Does Jill have to wear her hair long now that she's under Derrick's control and not Boob's? I  thought that the girls kept their hair long, because Boob liked it. 

I think they keep it long because Gothard likes it that way!

 

Derick said he liked it long and wavy, though I don't think he demands she keep it that way.  Like most women, she heard what her husband said and wants to be attractive for him.  I wish he'd say something about not liking dead ends.  

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I wonder how the Duggars' feel about C-Sections. I know that J'chelle had four of them. I know they're all about natural birth. I guess a C-Section doesn't count as a natural birth. 

 

For all of the other things I can say about them, I think the way they view natural birth is a birth that doesn't require surgical intervention.  Not sure how they feel about pain meds, though.  Anyway, I don't think they're so hidebound and hypocritical as to look down on a necessary C-section. 

 

I think their 'midwife only - no drugs allowed' approach was a combination of the idea that the less outside intervention needed was a good thing, combined with Michelle's hostility of Anna starting her child bearing 'journey' coincided with Michelle's vague realization that her own childbearing days were ending.  I wouldn't be at all surprised to find that Michelle took great satisfaction in forcing Anna (through Josh) to give birth on camera while sitting on a toilet.

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I think their 'midwife only - no drugs allowed' approach was a combination of the idea that the less outside intervention needed was a good thing, combined with Michelle's hostility of Anna starting her child bearing 'journey' coincided with Michelle's vague realization that her own childbearing days were ending. I wouldn't be at all surprised to find that Michelle took great satisfaction in forcing Anna (through Josh) to give birth on camera while sitting on a toilet.

I think a lot of it also has to do with the 'have as many kids as possible' mindset. Epidurals are more likely to need other interventions, including c-sections, and the more c-sections you've had the more dangerous each subsequent pregnancy becomes. Many practitioners prefer to top out at 3-4 c-sections, so if you want lots of babies you better have them vaginally, and if you want to raise your chances as much as possible of a vaginal delivery you better avoid an epidural.

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The only problem with that mindset is the fact that there are some women who cannot birth naturally and require intervention. I guess I'm cautious because of all the medical personnel in my family, but I would never give birth at home unless I had no other choice. I've also had too many friends who had close calls and would have died (or their baby) if they hadn't been in the hospital to receive immediate intervention. I hope Jill and Derick make a wise choice regarding their birth plan and aren't forced into having a home birth because Gothard. 

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Well and then there is the problem of having no health insurance for many of these families that might be the real driving force to home birth. It'll be interesting to see what Jill does because she does (assumed) have insurance. She also had a rough first trimester and seems uncomfortable in the way Kim Kardashian was so she may be a bit humbled (I hope) and not so hung ho for a home birth. I only say humbled because as I commented here earlier I thought Jill was somewhat unsympathetic to her laboring mom's because of her youth and lack of personal experience and wondered how many of those mom's wanted to smack her while laboring when she spouted off caviler encouragements . 

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Well and then there is the problem of having no health insurance for many of these families that might be the real driving force to home birth.

Almost 3000, you beat e to it -- I was about to say the same thing.

 

Gothard encourages men to work for themselves, so there is no employer-sponsored insurance. I also doubt that his followers would avail themselves of the provisions of the ACA that would allow them to buy subsidized insurance.

 

If you expect people to have 10-15 kids without insurance, or a steady source of income, midwives and birthing centers are an obvious solution. Plus the midwives are exclusively women, so there is no concern that a man might see a woman's body and be defrauded.

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When I was pregnant three years ago, I wore well fitting maternity clothes, as did most women in my set. But it's also true that the DC suburbs don't tend to have children with mothers as young as Jill, and professional appearance means a great deal here. (I don't think my husband owns a flannel shirt for me to steal, come to think of it....)

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If a woman wants to deliver without an epidural or drugs, that's fine; it's her call. IMO, those fundy "birthing centers" are no more than the midwife's home...if you notice, Anna was in a regular twin size bed and a roman bathtub. Vanessa, Jill's teacher had some blow up outside kiddie pool-looking thing, I believe. It is the lack of back up "just in case" medical access that is the issue here to me. A hospital has a whole staff, if needed and fully trained. If a laboring mother is in the OB delivery room in a hospital and doesn't need other assistance to deliver safely, great! It's those "what ifs" that bother me. No ambulance could get there quick enough for me; then there's the transport time involved and all that movement, which can't be good for either mother or child.

I have no idea if Jill is receiving obstetrician (md doc) pre natal care or not. Nothing has been mentioned. I sincerely hope that Jill is seeing an obstetrician and considering the size of derickdillard at birth, she considers "her size". She may need a sonogram to determine it all and she seems to be receiving her prenatal care "a la cart" here and there between a midwife and testing at a separate testing facility; it would be much better for both of them to have her care coordinated with ONE person; her obstetrician. Jill has never delivered and really has no idea how well or not she is built for it. She should thank God that she has WalMart health insurance. She's ahead of the game.

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...I thought Jill was somewhat unsympathetic to her laboring mom's because of her youth and lack of personal experience and wondered how many of those mom's wanted to smack her while laboring when she spouted off caviler encouragements . 

 

Yep.  One of the things guaranteed to want a laboring woman to become homicidal is having some nurse chirping 'encouraging' remarks, especially when you're not sure if they've actually given birth themselves.

 

Jill has never delivered and really has no idea how well or not she is built for it. She should thank God that she has WalMart health insurance. She's ahead of the game.

 

Well, coming from personal experience with a close family member who's worked for Walmart for nearly 10 years, their idea of insurance sucks.  High deductible, very low vision or dental insurance, a tight list of meds they pay for make their insurance a joke for many of their employees.

Edited by Zahdii
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I've had all my babies at home and have worked and volunteered supporting pregnant birthing women and new mothers for many years.  To clear up a few misconceptions:

 

-just because a woman prefers to give birth without drugs or interventions, doesn't mean they reject all medical interventions always, think everyone else should do the same, and they do not feel they must give birth at home or without interventions  AT ALL COSTS even risking the life of the baby or mother.  Midwives do not practice this way, either.  They don't want to see babies or mothers die or be harmed, or of course, have the liability of that happening on their watch.  They transfer or refer if a mother needs increased medical care.  Of course necessary medications, interventions, and c-sections are fine, and life-saving, when they're NEEDED.  As we can well see when Michelle had her necessary c-sections, hospital births, and medical care for the health of herself and her babies when it was needed.  Vastly more woman and babies have lasting negative effects from *unnecessary* interventions in the hospital so there is good reason to avoid them when they aren't medically indicated. 

 

-Believe it or not, midwives (Certified Professional Midwives- CPM's which I believe Jill is training to be, and Ms. Venessa is and CNM's certified nurse-midwives) are highly trained professionals, and are experts at normal, low-risk births.  A huge part of that is recognizing when the situation is no longer "normal" or low risk, either during prenatal care or during the birth, and referring the woman to a higher level of care.  The VAST majority of the time this is done WELL before the situation becomes dangerous or high risk. Something like < 1% of transfers to the hospital are for emergency reasons.  High risk women aren't eligible for home births or a birth center not attached to a hospital.  

 

-Yes, midwives do actually closely coordinate care, test for gestational diabetes, monitor the baby's heartbeat, refer clients for ultrasounds, do lab work, non-stress tests, and any other necessary tests that a mother may need.  They also carry oxygen, are well-practiced and certified in infant and adult resuscitation, are equipped to handle a hemorrhage, and can do suturing.  In birth centers they can give pain meds (not epidurals of course), and start IV's.  The prenatal and postpartum care is actually far and away more personalized and intense than any care an OB would provide- appointments are usually 1-2 hours long, include lots of education on nutrition, family planning, getting to know the whole family, including the kids and spouse in the care, etc.  

 

-while many very religious families do have home births, many more obey their doctor's "authority" and do whatever he or she says and have the standard US high intervention hospital birth, inductions, c-sections, etc.  I grew up with one foot in the world of fundamentalism and I'd say most fit into that category- I'd have to think quite hard to think of anyone who's had an out of hospital or natural birth of my fundie acquaintances or people at the conservative christian churches I've attended.  There is high respect for medical authority and there is a big "obedience" factor.  

 

-Also, many highly educated, wealthy (comparatively), science-driven, very secular families choose out of hospital birth.  This fits the clientele of my midwives.  I can't think of any other christian families in my circle of natural birth acquaintances.

 

It's not everyone's cup of tea, and if you're not comfortable with it, then by all means, don't do it!  Everyone should have the choice to give birth where they feel the safest and most supported :)

 

I hope that helps provide some clarity to Jill's potential birth plans!  

Edited by awaken
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Almost 3000, you beat e to it -- I was about to say the same thing.

Gothard encourages men to work for themselves, so there is no employer-sponsored insurance. I also doubt that his followers would avail themselves of the provisions of the ACA that would allow them to buy subsidized insurance.

If you expect people to have 10-15 kids without insurance, or a steady source of income, midwives and birthing centers are an obvious solution. Plus the midwives are exclusively women, so there is no concern that a man might see a woman's body and be defrauded.

That's why some fundies go to the er to get treated and get check ups because the er has to see you even without insurance

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No midwife would take on a truly high risk candidate if she thought there was any danger at all. One bad delivery could ruin her ability to practice for life. I have tremendous respect for midwives and what they do, but my friends who are midwives won't do more than offer verbal advice, as I'm so high risk.

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I'm not going to snark on Jill's shirt because it's not like I wear Chanel and Louboutins to shop at my local Wal-Mart, however I do agree with everyone else that she should invest in a couple decent maternity outfits. Especially since she's now a professional breeder. That way if she has to attend a work function with Derick or do appearances related to the show she can look halfway decent.

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I'm not going to snark on Jill's shirt because it's not like I wear Chanel and Louboutins to shop at my local Wal-Mart, however I do agree with everyone else that she should invest in a couple decent maternity outfits. Especially since she's now a professional breeder. That way if she has to attend a work function with Derick or do appearances related to the show she can look halfway decent.

 

There's nothing wrong with the outfit itself. There is something really weird about the way she buttoned the shirt. Wear it open, button it all the way, or button from the bottom. Wearing it with the bump poking out just looks tacky, and screams "Look at me I'm pregnant!" I suppose this is what the Duggars call modesty.

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Y'all, she's at Walmart. In Arkansas. There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way she's dressing if she's comfortable. Maybe she has nicer clothes but doesn't feel the need to wear them all the time. I can't imagine her wanting to get dolled up in nice clothes if she's just running to the Walmart or to the TTH. Especially since she's a tiny girl who is suddenly carrying that belly around!

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Y'all, she's at Walmart. In Arkansas. There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way she's dressing if she's comfortable. Maybe she has nicer clothes but doesn't feel the need to wear them all the time. I can't imagine her wanting to get dolled up in nice clothes if she's just running to the Walmart or to the TTH. Especially since she's a tiny girl who is suddenly carrying that belly around!

 

lol that's what I kept thinking. I'm not a big Walmart shopper but when I do go there I'm pretty excited if the other shoppers are wearing stuff that actually covers them at all. Even pajamas... just please, something that at least covers you. (Walmart remains the only store where I've seen a buck-naked baby riding in the cart with nothing at all to protect it from germs or catch the pee/poop/whatever). I am pretty surprised Jill's as big as she is at this point, but she looks fairly normal to me. Hopefully she's just showing a lot because she seems to be pretty small to begin with.

 

(ETA: and no, I'm not one of the half naked Walmart shoppers, but I don't exactly dress up for the occasion either)

Edited by NikSac
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OMG forget about the germs the naked baby gets; what germs and filth do they leave in the cart for the next unlucky shopper to use.  That's not the Walmart S. Sac is it?  I'll be near there again in about 6 months and will be sure to avoid it if that's the case.

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I can't imagine her wanting to get dolled up in nice clothes if she's just running to the Walmart

 

 

I'm down with most Duggar snark, but I can't really judge her for what she's wearing in Walmart.  Especially since this phrase has been uttered (from my mouth) multiple times in my house:

 

"I should probably change into something nicer . . . . aw, screw it, I'm just going to Walmart."

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OMG forget about the germs the naked baby gets; what germs and filth do they leave in the cart for the next unlucky shopper to use.  That's not the Walmart S. Sac is it?  I'll be near there again in about 6 months and will be sure to avoid it if that's the case.

 

Close! Rancho Cordova, CA is where I saw the naked baby in the cart. South Sac Walmart on the other hand is where I saw a bunch of drunk 20-somethings trying to see how many carts they could puke on in the "cart corral" before they got kicked out by security.

 

Rhondinella I agree, every time I go to Walmart (which isn't often) I see so many worse things, I didn't even bat an eye at the semi-buttoned flannel Jill was wearing. At least she was dressed.

Edited by NikSac
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Going to chime in on  the Wal-Mart discussion over in the Small Talk/Prayer Closet topic.

 

Hope Jill has gotten through the worst of the morning (ha, if only!) sickness. (And by if only I mean if only it were just the morning!)

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You know, I'm 95% sure they're in a Ross, not Walmart. But it still isn't a place to really dress up. Like a previous poster, I agree that I wouldn't have buttoned the shirt the way Jill did. But it's not the most hideous thing I have ever seen shopping.

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I'm sad that Smuggar and Anna are stealing Dill's baby thunder. Can't they let them enjoy the pregnancy spotlight by themselves? No one cares about M4

Actually, I find it amusing since Baby Dill stole Jessa's engagement thunder. Now Jessa needs to steal Josh's thunder. Or perhaps Jana or Joy could get in on the action? Wild card on John David.

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I'm actually loving that Josh and Anna stole Jill's thunder, because she stole Jessa's thunder by announcing she was two weeks pregnant shortly after Jessa's engagement was revealed. I'm going to make a big batch of popcorn, sit back and enjoy watching how petty and cutthroat this sibling rivalry stuff is going to get. Next up, the Benessa pregnancy reveal!

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Actually, I find it amusing since Baby Dill stole Jessa's engagement thunder. Now Jessa needs to steal Josh's thunder. Or perhaps Jana or Joy could get in on the action? Wild card on John David.

I find it amusing too about the rivalry now they are going thru different Seasons of their Lives. (That could be a title of a new thread. Lol) I think John Doofus will need an extra Lego lesson when it comes time for him to procreate.
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I was looking at Jill's instagram and she had posted a picture of her and Derrick wit Monica Potter (an actress on "Parenthood"). My first thought was "I wonder if Jill watches that show".

 

Yeah I wonder if Jill knew who she was. Maybe Derrick watches it, and shared it with Jill? There's no way he grew up in the sheltered world of the Duggars re: TV/movies. But that show has quite a bit of liberal ideas in it, might be too dangerous!

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Just sayin', some of us women DO like our long hair.  It doesn't have to be a Fundi thing or Duggar thing or please-your-man thing, and just because it's long doesn't mean it's horrible or nasty.  I realize it's not in style, but not everyone walks in lockstep there.  As for Jill, she had that certain glow during the courtship and marriage, but may just be reverting back to form now.  She was never a dazzling beauty. 

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Jill actually stole Jessa's thunder a few times. Jessa was courting first but then Jill started courting and got a free trip across the world. Then Jill got engaged and jumped ahead of her. Then she got married and made Jessa's little relationship irrelevant. Jessa finally gets engaged and Jill gets pregnant. Poor Jessa doesn't even get a People magazine cover. Screw Jill and her thunder.

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