Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Churchhoney]

Imagine a family that manages to attract (at least) two 20-something sons-in-law eager to make prominent public statements ordering people not to masturbate.

What are the odds? 

How could it possibly be their business? 

What the hell is wrong with it? 

Neither of the two married until his mid-to-late-20s. Are they trying to tell me that they never...? Are they trying to tell me that they did and it brought about some terrible consequences...? And, if so, what were those? 

Just ... WTF? 

Edited September 11, 2017 by Churchhoney

[Marigold]

I have no idea how to post screen shots! 

The comments are kinda "dirty" which is really funny because the Duggars consider themselves so wholesome but yet they seem to attract nothing but filth...and then there's Josh...

[Churchhoney]

4 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

OOOOH, someone please post it here, I wanna see it!

Riding off the rails on the crazy train, is he?  Do the Duggars finally do that to their adjacent members?  Dear me.

Well, I have to say that if I were inadvertently drugged with some serious hallucinogen and woke up as a Duggar adjacent, I would either have to flee very very quickly or else off the rails on the crazy train would be the only alternative I can imagine. 

[Lunera]

[mythoughtis]

Churchhoney.,..

you know what they think is wrong with it.... seed is spent that is meant for procreation. Also,they believed people who said it makes you go blind. Since they still live in the Victorian age. 

[Lunera]

https://mobile.twitter.com/derick4Him/status/906909725840744448

Screenshots were too big but here is the link 

[BitterApple]

29 minutes ago, Marigold said:

 

Really, I laughed thinking about Derick reading #slapthemeat and how he is taking things into his own hands.  

Pun intended? :)

Seriously, Derick can never quit Twitter. He is the gift that keeps on giving.

Note to Kari H: come to PTV and be among your people.

Edited September 11, 2017 by BitterApple

[Marigold]

@BitterApple

Yep, people posted that pun repeatedly and it never gets old!  

I agree 100%, Derick is a hoot on twitter. You never know what will tick him off and which Bible verse will support his Hate of the Week. Total freakshow. 

(I really hope Jill is reading the comments too. Thanks to Jessa's bitch rant we know that she reads comments!)

Edited September 11, 2017 by Marigold

[xwordfanatik]

Thank you @Lunera!  Love reading the comments.

Derick is losing it, if in fact he ever had it.  He needs to give it a few tugs.  Sexual repression is clearly a problem for many of these hyper-religious types IMO.

Joyfully available?  Any time one's headship wants to?  Please, just go fuck thyself.

[JoanArc]

 The 40 day period is up already. Jesus Christ give it up Jill. He needs to get laid! 

 

I hope his ministry training class teaches Derrick about  The proper sorts of things to discuss in public. Masturbation is not one of those.

 

What of a couple masterpiece next to each other in bed? Then finished up with sweet fellowship? Still a sin?

[GeeGolly]

Advice for those who struggle? He needs to be more clear, because I read it as the dude is giving advice to those looking for more fun and pleasurable ways to masturbate. 

[Churchhoney]

30 minutes ago, JoanArc said:

 

 

I hope his ministry training class teaches Derrick about  The proper sorts of things to discuss in public. Masturbation is not one of those.

 

 

Der  married into a family whose "godly parenting expert" father lined up another son-in-law to preach a 45-minute sermon to his teen and 20-something sons, along with friends-of-the-family-sons, and post video of this absurd droning on the internet. 

So I'm guessing the Duggs disagree with your assessment. lol

[JoanArc]

7 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

Der  married into a family whose "godly parenting expert" father lined up another son-in-law to preach a 45-minute sermon to his teen and 20-something sons, along with friends-of-the-family-sons, and post video of this absurd droning on the internet. 

So I'm guessing the Duggs disagree with your assessment. lol

 For the record, I am sex positive. I'm just not sex obsessed like these people. Masturbation is a wonderful thing that should hopefully be discussed without shame. But I find that when someone bring something up apropos of nothing – it's a major issue for them.positive.

Edited September 11, 2017 by JoanArc

[GeeGolly]

Masturbation advice for young boys and girls should be short and to the point: its private and clean up after yourselves.

[wilsie]

I love myself enough that I haven't watched any of Jeremy's sermons or listened to or read Derrick's ramblings.  Do either ever mention any other sin that is not related to sex?  I always thought the idea of not doing something is because it can be hurtful to yourself and others.  Are big corporations, big pharma, and other entities who take advantage of the most vulnerable ever even mentioned?  They seemed so obsessed with sex and really don't do anything good for anyone other than maybe the like-minded.  And that's not even very much. 

[JoanArc]

13 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Masturbation advice for young boys and girls should be short and to the point: its private and clean up after yourselves.

Plus you can't hurt yourself or make yourself sterile etc.

[kalamac]

Not long ago I read a theory that I found interesting, that the story of Onan wasn't anti-masturbation, but anti-disobedience. That the point was Onan's father had told him to impregnate his late brother's wife, and by 'spilling his seed' he was disobeying his father, and that was the sin.

Though, given Duggar family dynamics, I don't want to her Derrick preaching about obeying parents either.

[Gweilo]

That theory is very appropriate, since wasn't one of JB's wedding 'commands' to Joe and Kendra to "be fruitful and multiply"? So no personal exploration time for Joe, gotta send all those sperms straight to the egg! Your parents have told you to!

[jcbrown]

2 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

Joyfully available?  Any time one's headship wants to?  Please, just go fuck thyself.

"Go fuck thyself" goes down as one of my most favorite phrases ever.

29 minutes ago, Gweilo said:

That theory is very appropriate, since wasn't one of JB's wedding 'commands' to Joe and Kendra to "be fruitful and multiply"? So no personal exploration time for Joe, gotta send all those sperms straight to the egg! Your parents have told you to!

Emphasis added. Putting it this clearly creeps me out even more than the Duggars already creep me out, and that's saying something. As if your parents have any f*&%ing business what you do sexually.

[xwordfanatik]

@jcbrown, you are so right.  I NEVER wanted to imagine my parent's sex life, and I would bet they didn't speculate on mine, either.  It's just sick that Boob is so obsessed with other's sex lives, ESPECIALLY his kids.  It's so warped and wrong!

[GeeGolly]

So let me get this straight, if I fear God, remain a virgin until marriage, don't orgasm solo (although orgasm does not induce ovulation, so maybe I can?), look at my MALE partner longingly when he speaks, lay down and spread 'em on demand and forego birth control all will be right in my world?

I've never read the Bible, but its a fairly thick book with small print. There's more in the Bible than how to do sex the correct way, right?

[kalamac]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

So let me get this straight, if I fear God, remain a virgin until marriage, don't orgasm solo (although orgasm does not induce ovulation, so maybe I can?), look at my MALE partner longingly when he speaks, lay down and spread 'em on demand and forego birth control all will be right in my world?

I've never read the Bible, but its a fairly thick book with small print. There's more in the Bible than how to do sex the correct way, right?

And notice how it is all about the sex. The bible also says not to eat shellfish, but you don't see the Dullards out there protesting against lobster trawlers or petitioning to get all the Red Lobster restaurants shut down. It seems with most of the sects that are obsessed with sex and sexuality, they are willing to let everything else slide, but you better not touch yourself, someone of the same sex, or before marriage, and they will do their best to make sure you don't.

[xls]

4 minutes ago, kalamac said:

And notice how it is all about the sex. The bible also says not to eat shellfish, but you don't see the Dullards out there protesting against lobster trawlers or petitioning to get all the Red Lobster restaurants shut down. It seems with most of the sects that are obsessed with sex and sexuality, they are willing to let everything else slide, but you better not touch yourself, someone of the same sex, or before marriage, and they will do their best to make sure you don't.

And HAIR? Never cutting it, never showing it, puffing it up a mile high....

[ariel]

3 hours ago, JoanArc said:

Plus you can't hurt yourself or make yourself sterile etc.

or pregnant.

[PikaScrewChu]

On 9/8/2017 at 7:39 PM, PuhLeeze said:

Awww, it's a sunhat tortilla! 

"Buy used, save the difference"

No comment on Dullard's latest escapades except he's going off the rails on a crazy train... Can we leave this train derailed?

[Arwen Evenstar]

1 hour ago, kalamac said:

they are willing to let everything else slide, but you better not touch yourself, someone of the same sex, or before marriage, and they will do their best to make sure you don't.

I guess they sure looked the other way when Joshley touched his sisters and at least one other underaged girl.

[doodlebug]

17 hours ago, Lunera said:

https://mobile.twitter.com/derick4Him/status/906909725840744448

Screenshots were too big but here is the link 

Read through the article mentioned.  The dude claims masturbation is wrong because, in order to achieve orgasm, the men must conjure up visions of women doing the deed with them (although he claims to know that women masturbate, too, he only talks about the guys).  Anyway, visualizing a woman purely for having an orgasm means the guy is objectifying her sexually and that is wrong!  See, he's kind of a feminist!  Of course, it is perfectly fine to view a woman as submissive to you, to expect her to obey your every whim and to expect her to cook and clean and bear as many of your kids as she can while homeschooling them herself and to expect her to be 'joyfully available' in the bedroom whenever you want regardless of how she is feeling.  That's not objectification at all, no sir!  Yep, it is a sign of the great respect he has for women that he thinks men should not masturbate.  WTF!!

Edited September 12, 2017 by doodlebug

[Jynnan tonnix]

1 hour ago, doodlebug said:

Read through the article mentioned.  The dude claims masturbation is wrong because, in order to achieve orgasm, the men must conjure up visions of women doing the deed with them (although he claims to know that women masturbate, too, he only talks about the guys).  Anyway, visualizing a woman purely for having an orgasm means the guy is objectifying her sexually and that is wrong!  See, he's kind of a feminist!  Of course, it is perfectly fine to view a woman as submissive to you, to expect her to obey your every whim and to expect her to cook and clean and bear as many of your kids as she can while homeschooling them herself and to expect her to be 'joyfully available' in the bedroom whenever you want regardless of how she is feeling.  That's not objectification at all, no sir!  Yep, it is a sign of the great respect he has for women that he thinks men should not masturbate.  WTF!!

Speaking as a woman, and therefore completely ignorant of the matter (cough), though visualization can certainly be a part of it, it's also quite possible to rub one out simply because it feels good without any other motive. Especially when you are young and those feeeeelings are, oh, so new and overwhelming.

[Aja]

13 hours ago, kalamac said:

And notice how it is all about the sex. The bible also says not to eat shellfish, but you don't see the Dullards out there protesting against lobster trawlers or petitioning to get all the Red Lobster restaurants shut down. It seems with most of the sects that are obsessed with sex and sexuality, they are willing to let everything else slide, but you better not touch yourself, someone of the same sex, or before marriage, and they will do their best to make sure you don't.

Because it's not about obeying wacky Jesus laws so one can get into heaven. It's about fear-based control and hetero male dick-waving. 

[Marigold]

18 hours ago, JoanArc said:

 I hope his ministry training class teaches Derrick about  The proper sorts of things to discuss in public. Masturbation is not one of those.

 

Four words:

Mini Golf Dry Hump

[JoanArc]

1 hour ago, Marigold said:

Four words:

Mini Golf Dry Hump

Don't forget Jim Bob doing the boob honking hand gesture during the Kelly interview.

[Westiepeach]

1 hour ago, JoanArc said:

Don't forget Jim Bob doing the boob honking hand gesture during the Kelly interview.

Oh dear God ...

[Pinke]

 

Pass it along, folks!

[JoanArc]

13 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

Oh dear God ...

 It was a light honking, over the clothes.

[Westiepeach]

26 minutes ago, PinkyCupcake said:

 

Pass it along, folks!

I think we're gonna need more than that ...

[Marigold]

52 minutes ago, JoanArc said:

 It was a light honking, over the clothes.

 

That's hysterical!  

[jukie]

I just sat down to get my daily dose of snark....why or why did I pick this tread as my first indulgence...I need to wash my body brain and soul in bleach!

 

There is way that Derelict is not having a hand shandy every now and again, you don't have to be an overly sexed person to need a bit of personal pleasure that does not result in offspring surely he can see the benefit of that considering how incapable the pair of them are at engaging and interacting with their own spawn?

[Bayarea4]

 I suspect that Derick's sudden obsession with masturbation and Jill's difficult childbirths may be related. If Jill has been told to avoid future pregnancies Derick probably isn't getting much hey-hey these days. Perhaps he's struggling with his own desires, which cannot be righteously fulfilled. But like many moralistic types, instead of owning his sexual frustration and dealing with it, he is projecting it onto the rest of the world.

Edited September 13, 2017 by Bayarea4
clarity

[Annb67]

On 9/11/2017 at 5:08 PM, Lunera said:

https://mobile.twitter.com/derick4Him/status/906909725840744448

Screenshots were too big but here is the link 

Ha!! These posts are brutal. But seriously, who tweets something like this? Is he going to roam the college campus looking in windows to catch people masturbating and stop them? Creep.

[Mollie]

26 minutes ago, Annb67 said:

Ha!! These posts are brutal. But seriously, who tweets something like this? Is he going to roam the college campus looking in windows to catch people masturbating and stop them? Creep.

Those college kids he is trying to convert must be thinking that Derick is a first-class joke. How many people really believe when Derick was Pistol Pete that he never pulled the trigger on his pistol? 

[Totally]

Whyyyyyyy does he keep opening himself up to such ridicule and abuse. 

I can only shake my head in disbelief , because I have no words ?

[Fuzzysox]

3 hours ago, Totally said:

Whyyyyyyy does he keep opening himself up to such ridicule and abuse. 

I can only shake my head in disbelief , because I have no words ?

Because he is a true believer! Your not a good enough Christian like he is because he is GODLY, perfect, and knows the Lort. Ha, he's just a brainwashed weirdo that has nothing better to do than to spew his "religion" because he can.

[Aja]

Jesus. Derick is really losing the plot.

[Fuzzysox]

I would expect Jill to be cueing the waterworks right about now with her "birth story" now that baby Mason is here.

Come on Jill stop being a slacker it's your turn for the stealing the spotlight. 

[xwordfanatik]

5 hours ago, Annb67 said:

Ha!! These posts are brutal. But seriously, who tweets something like this? Is he going to roam the college campus looking in windows to catch people masturbating and stop them? Creep.

Hashtag #slapthatmeat, made me laugh!  Great comments too.  Dillweed has clearly gone round the bend.

[BitterApple]

I think it's awesome Derick has doubled down on the crazy. I'm starting to wonder if Boob kicked them out of the McMansion after Derick refused to get in line. 

[MargeGunderson]

28 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

Hashtag #slapthatmeat, made me laugh!  Great comments too.  Dillweed has clearly gone round the bend.

It was a short journey

[Natalie68]

3 hours ago, Fuzzysox said:

Because he is a true believer! Your not a good enough Christian like he is because he is GODLY, perfect, and knows the Lort. Ha, he's just a brainwashed weirdo that has nothing better to do than to spew his "religion" because he can.

Ok hear me out.  As an atheist I might not know much about god and righteous unfulfilled desires but here goes.  If God didn't want men to fiddle below the belt he would not have given them hands and the ability to reach that low.  See God wants you to to do it!  Fiddling for Jesus!

[Sew Sumi]

Has a PR worm been in Derelict's ear? Since when has he used the Jessa mode of cute baby pictures on his social media?

[louannems]

We finally are shown Samuel's normal, non-Zika head.