Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[DangerousMinds]

Really neat!!!

Totally! So awesome!

[PinkSprinkles]

Really neat!!!

 

And a precious blessing. 

[fliptopbox]

I agree. It is very rude to listen in on a phone call without informing the other party. I can give a pass on the social media stalking because everyone tends to do that to check people out, employers included. 

This is why I keep my social media on lockdown, to anyone who isn't a friend of mine. Unless you know me it's none of your business what I'm doing or saying, or who my friends are. I don't have anything to hide in particular, but on the other hand I don't want a potential boss prowling around looking at pictures from however long ago and making a hiring decision based on Facebook.

[Missy Vixen]

I don't know what the real story is, but the Duggars have lied from the beginning and I think they're lying now.

Seriously. They're trolling for a commercial or a sponsorship deal.

 

If you're reading, Jill, I'll be looking foward to the latest FU Internetz!!!11!!! on this subject.

[GEML]

Jill's story about listening in without him knowing is so sad and desperate. I truly hope Derrick is the kind person we think that he appears to be, as she is so incredibly sheltered. Checking him out on his social media, riding in his car, ending every paragraph with an exclamation point - it's like reading a 13 year old's diary.

And I'm not trying to be snarky. I'm genuinely hoping she's found someone that she still loves when the infatuation wears off and someone who truly adores her. I just once again find the whole process infantilizing - not just the courtship practice, but so many of the choices made that got her to that place as well.

[BitterApple]

Jill's story about listening in without him knowing is so sad and desperate. 

 

 

Right?! It reminds me of sixth grade when you would have your friends act as the middleman between you and the boy you liked. Jill is a grown ass woman and she can't even get on the phone and introduce herself like an adult? I hope she grows up fast otherwise I can see Derick becoming bored pretty quickly.

[truthtalk2014]

Right?! It reminds me of sixth grade when you would have your friends act as the middleman between you and the boy you liked. Jill is a grown ass woman and she can't even get on the phone and introduce herself like an adult? I hope she grows up fast otherwise I can see Derick becoming bored pretty quickly.

Exactly!  It must have made it even more strange for her on the wedding night- when she was able to do a front hug, a real kiss and take off all her clothes...

 

Oh wait… a song is coming to my mind!  Derrick, you know you were singing this after all the BS you put up with!

[wanderwoman]

The more I think about the manner in which these courtship develop, the more certain I am that it's all a ploy to keep Jim Bob in control as long as possible.

 

Let me explain. Outside of this neo-courtship process, young people choose people to date based on their own interactions, attractions, and criteria. Most parents allow and encourage their children to make independent decisions about the people they hang out with. It doesn't even have to involve dating: kindergarteners choose their own friends, fer crissake. Choosing who we enjoy being with is part of forming your own identity, separate of your parents. There are first graders who are more autonomous than Jessa or John David Duggar. A first grader brings the values and morals from his/her family and makes decisions about who they trust and who they enjoy playing with.

 

The Duggars, from Josie to Josh, NEVER, EVER had that chance to choose. Their parents chose to isolate them and forced them to become friends with their siblings. Before the TLC money, the trips to Big Sandy (one week per year) were the only exposure to peers that these kids had. Even then, they were insulated in that everyone present shared their isolatory beliefs. The bottom line is that Jim Bob and Michelle DO NOT encourage autonomy and individualism. Pickles or no pickles isn't what individualism is about. These kids wore the same clothes, slept in the same rooms, read the same, pre-approved books, and (whether they were 2 or 20) sang the same songs and saw the same movies. They didn't even have an opportunity to have their own friends!

So, should we be surprised that the parents who controlled every detail of their child's life managed to also control their future? Jim Bob may say he's protecting his girls- I don't buy it. Kim Jong Il claimed to be protecting North Koreans from America! Jim Bob is no better. He and the she-dictator spent thirty years telling their kids they were fragile, precious flowers who needed shelter from the big, bad, pop culture wolf of American childhood. Except, it was a false flag operation. Kids need to be challenged with different faiths and experiences. There's absolutely nothing wrong with sitting in a classroom with non-Baptists. And, the irony is, while isolating their kids from the dangerous world, they placed them right under the nose and influence of a potential child molester (Gothard).

Their kids didn't choose their courtship. Jim Bob chose Derek for Jill. He chose Ben for Jessa. He controlled access to the girls under the auspices of protecting their hearts. It's baloney! The Duggar kids will be pure, faithful dysfunctional adults. Congrats. Josh is a man who has three kids and no way to provide for them outside of reality tv celebrity. The car lot wasn't making that much. Jill is extremely lucky to be paired to Derek because he actually has an education and practial world experience. We only have to look at Josh, Ben, and JohN David (a 24 year old MAN who shares a room with a 10 year old BOY) to see what it "growing up Duggar" results in: men who can't even be trusted to go volunteer without a chaperone! It's a joke. It's false independence. If the Duggars really thought their adult children would be successful, they would allow them to be. But, they don't. They control everything.

[fliptopbox]

The more I think about the manner in which these courtship develop, the more certain I am that it's all a ploy to keep Jim Bob in control as long as possible.

Let me explain. Outside of this neo-courtship process, young people choose people to date based on their own interactions, attractions, and criteria. Most parents allow and encourage their children to make independent decisions about the people they hang out with. It doesn't even have to involve dating: kindergarteners choose their own friends, fer crissake. Choosing who we enjoy being with is part of forming your own identity, separate of your parents. There are first graders who are more autonomous than Jessa or John David Duggar. A first grader brings the values and morals from his/her family and makes decisions about who they trust and who they enjoy playing with. The Duggars, from Josie to Josh, NEVER, EVER had that chance to choose. Their parents chose to isolate them and forced them to become friends with their siblings. Before the TLC money, the trips to Big Sandy (one week per year) were the only exposure to peers that these kids had. Even then, they were insulated in that everyone present shared their isolatory beliefs. The bottom line is that Jim Bob and Michelle DO NOT encourage autonomy and individualism. Pickles or no pickles isn't what individualism is about. These kids wore the same clothes, slept in the same rooms, read the same, pre-approved books, and (whether they were 2 or 20) sang the same songs and saw the same movies. They didn't even have an opportunity to have their own friends!

So, should we be surprised that the parents who controlled every detail of their child's life managed to also control their future? Jim Bob may say he's protecting his girls- I don't buy it. Kim Jong Il claimed to be protecting North Koreans from America! Jim Bob is no better. He and the she-dictator spent thirty years telling their kids they were fragile, precious flowers who needed shelter from the big, bad, pop culture wolf of American childhood. Except, it was a false flag operation. Kids need to be challenged with different faiths and experiences. There's absolutely nothing wrong with sitting in a classroom with non-Baptists. And, the irony is, while isolating their kids from the dangerous world, they placed them right under the nose and influence of a potential child molester (Gothard).

Their kids didn't choose their courtship. Jim Bob chose Derek for Jill. He chose Ben for Jessa. He controlled access to the girls under the auspices of protecting their hearts. It's baloney! The Duggar kids will be pure, faithful dysfunctional adults. Congrats. Josh is a man who has three kids and no way to provide for them outside of reality tv celebrity. The car lot wasn't making that much. Jill is extremely lucky to be paired to Derek because he actually has an education and practial world experience. We only have to look at Josh, Ben, and JohN David (a 24 year old MAN who shares a room with a 10 year old BOY) to see what it "growing up Duggar" results in: men who can't even be trusted to go volunteer without a chaperone! It's a joke. It's false independence. If the Duggars really thought their adult children would be successful, they would allow them to be. But, they don't. They control everything.

THIS. So much this. I'd like it a zillion times if I could. Spot on!

[GEML]

In the end, it's the inability to trust them in a public place without a chaperone that really tells you this is about control. Other groups don't "date" but court with the idea of marriage. But even they allow the couple to talk alone in public. This demonstrates 1) how horrible JB and Michelle think the world is, that their children might see or do something heinous IN PUBLIC and 2) makes you wonder just how far THEY went when they were dating 3) how afraid they are to lose any control.

[juneday]

They probably had sex before marriage and now they won't even let their kids have a private conversation with the person they're about to marry. I don't trust Jim Boob and MeChelle, with all their talk about "bringing emotional baggage into the relationship" and whatnot.

[Mrsjumbo]

I'm sure Cathy likes Jill even though she doesn't necessarily seem comfortable around the Duggar family. She looked so annoyed when the family was at the airport when Derick finally came home. At the most, Jim Bob and Jill should have been there.

I'd also love to know what she really thinks of them.

Just once I would like to see someone refuse to go on camera. If I was sick in the hospital, I sure as he'll would not be allowing a camera crew in. What is the appeal? The almighty dollar? The "fame"? I can see how the Duggar kids got suckered into this, God forbid one of them disobeys, & Derick signed on for this circus, but his mom didn't, & neither did his brother or his brother's girlfriend. So why on the world didn't they say NO, I refuse to be part of the show?

[Absolom]

Family pressure.  Too many people put up with too much garbage for the sake of "not making waves."

[wanderwoman]

I completely agree with wanting to see one of these people say "no!" to filming. I have my doubts about it ever happening, but one can hope.

The problem with this family, and really any family on tv, is that they will never know who is their friend because of television and who's their friend because they truly would be lost without them. Same goes for every person who marries into this family. I'm not suggesting that Anna, Ben, and Derek only went for Duggars due to the show. I'm suggesting that it's possible and only time will tell. That sucks.

[Gweilo]

Just once I would like to see someone refuse to go on camera. If I was sick in the hospital, I sure as he'll would not be allowing a camera crew in. What is the appeal? The almighty dollar? The "fame"? I can see how the Duggar kids got suckered into this, God forbid one of them disobeys, & Derick signed on for this circus, but his mom didn't, & neither did his brother or his brother's girlfriend. So why on the world didn't they say NO, I refuse to be part of the show?

 

Cathy's second husband (Derick's stepdad) doesn't appear on the show (much), I think?

[trimthatfat]

Just once I would like to see someone refuse to go on camera. If I was sick in the hospital, I sure as he'll would not be allowing a camera crew in. What is the appeal? The almighty dollar? The "fame"? I can see how the Duggar kids got suckered into this, God forbid one of them disobeys, & Derick signed on for this circus, but his mom didn't, & neither did his brother or his brother's girlfriend. So why on the world didn't they say NO, I refuse to be part of the show?

 

Well, as much as I wish they had said no, I know that had his family not been apart of this, rumors would run rampant about who they were and whether they disapproved of the Duggars, etc. If Cathy hadn't appeared on the show and we didn't know she was sick, I also think internet gossipers would have said things about her that weren't necessarily true, i.e. she must hate Jill, she must hate Michelle. It would have created drama where they didn't need to be any. So far, Derick's loved ones have appeared a handful of times, so I'm not questioning their participation since it has been at a distance. When they get THs/confessionals, then I'll be disappointed.

[PinkSprinkles]

Just once I would like to see someone refuse to go on camera. If I was sick in the hospital, I sure as he'll would not be allowing a camera crew in. What is the appeal? The almighty dollar? The "fame"? I can see how the Duggar kids got suckered into this, God forbid one of them disobeys, & Derick signed on for this circus, but his mom didn't, & neither did his brother or his brother's girlfriend. So why on the world didn't they say NO, I refuse to be part of the show?

 

Way back when the show was 17 Kids and Counting Anna's brother-in-law and sister initially refused to be interviewed or be on camera when TLC was filming the wedding. However, they were then told they'd be kicked out of the wedding party (by TLC producers, not the family) if they didn't sign the "optional" waivers. They got into an argument with the producers about it, but ended up signing the waiver to keep the peace because of the wedding. 

 

ETA: I mixed up family members. 

Edited September 24, 2014 by PinkSprinkles

[galax-arena]

Jim Bob may say he's protecting his girls- I don't buy it. Kim Jong Il claimed to be protecting North Koreans from America! Jim Bob is no better.

Hey, y’all know that I loathe the Duggars, and I've mentioned before how genuinely scary I find people of their ilk, but speaking as someone who has family and friends affected by North Korea’s tyranny, I think this comparison is way too extreme and makes light of all the atrocities that the Kims are guilty of. It's almost like the Eastern equivalent of Godwinning, lol.

 

ETA: Also, I’d say that while North Korea chalked up its constant sabre-rattling to protecting North Koreans from eeeeevil America, the country’s oppression of its citizens is mostly rationalized as being in accordance with its juche philosophy (which is still a bullshit smokescreen IMO, but just saying that their surface rationalization isn't really the same as the Duggars').

Edited September 24, 2014 by galax-arena

[Absolom]

Way back when the show was 17 Kids and Counting Anna's brother Daniel and his wife Candace initially refused to be interviewed or be on camera when TLC was filming the wedding. However, they were then told they'd be kicked out of the wedding party (by TLC producers, not the family) if they didn't sign the "optional" waivers. Daniel got into an argument with the producers about it, but ended up signing the waiver to keep the peace because it was his sister's wedding.

 

I believe that was Rebekah's husband who said if they didn't sign waivers for filming then they couldn't be in the wedding per TLC.  It was too much work/too expensive for TLC to blur them out.  He wrote about the filming experience on TWoP. 

[Joan van Snark]

Is it just me?  I don't get the Derick love.  Yeah he seems like a decent guy, but he comes across as so wooden and robotic to me.  His talking heads are painful to watch!  The words and sentences he chooses in his solo interviews are so odd.  I wish I could remember the exact wording, but some of his responses last night during rock climbing struck me as bizarre.  For all of Ben's faults, I feel more comfortable watching him than Derrick.  I just don't understand why someone who is clearly uncomfortable in front of the cameras signed on to this.  I mean is Jill really worth all of this? What rational person would willingly sign up to being constantly filmed for the next god knows how many years? (and I'm sure Boob has lots of ideas to keep this mirage going as long as possible) Let's face it, Derrick is not going to be accused of being good looking anytime soon, and he has a very monotone personality.  Will Jill still be this infatuated after the puppy dog phase wears off?  Will she wake up one day and realize, "oh my god, I married Lurch?"
:

Edited September 24, 2014 by Joan van Snark

[GEML]

I think Derrick is very socially awkward, and perhaps very shy.  I've said before I think that he is someone who found the idea of Pistol Pete ideal not only because it gave him a chance to honor his father, but because wearing a costume gave him a chance to be part of the festivities while also being "hidden" in a way that probably appealed to his natural temperament.  Getting to know a girl through Skype and phone calls was probably as reassuring to him as it was to Jill, who knows so little about men.  It was a relationship style that turned out well for both of them.  Whether it can last is something else altogether, but I'm sure we've all known couples who have gone into marriages with less (and more) and made it or not, so ultimately what happens will depend a lot on what they are willing to put into their relationship from this point onward.

Edited September 24, 2014 by GEML

[DangerousMinds]

I think Derick is very articulate compared to dim witted awkward Bin. And more attractive too.

[charmed1]

I think Derrick is very socially awkward, and perhaps very shy.

I agree and I said in the episode thread that I think Derick might be dumbing himself down a little for this group. I've noticed he uses words like "neat," which is a word I don't hear too many twenty something guys using, regardless of religious affiliation. He knows something as common as chickpeas maybe misinterpreted as chicken pee. So he has to be mindful of his word choice lest he scare off the good folk with all that fancy talk book learnin a' his.

[abseedee]

I think Derick is very articulate compared to dim witted awkward Bin. And more attractive too.

Agreed.  I've never seen Derick and Ben standing side by side for a length of time until last night's episode and had the thought that he imo is better looking than Bin (he needs his beard gone or at least trimmed).  I think Derick's slow way of talking is because he thinks and listens to what he is saying and have many times corrected himself. 

[Literata]

 

I agree and I said in the episode thread that I think Derick might be dumbing himself down a little for this group. I've noticed he uses words like "neat," which is a word I don't hear too many twenty something guys using, regardless of religious affiliation. He knows something as common as chickpeas maybe misinterpreted as chicken pee. So he has to be mindful of his word choice lest he scare off the good folk with all that fancy talk book learnin a' his.

Agreed. I think he's very deliberate when he speaks because his words are the result of his actual thoughts -- independent thoughts, which are sorely lacking in the Tontitown compound. He strikes me as quite intelligent and articulate. 

[trimthatfat]

I don't find Derick to be that intelligent or articulate - he seems like an average twenty-something male to me.  However, I hope Derick isn't dumbing himself down for his in-laws as that would make for a miserable existence.

[Literata]

I think he's definitely intellectually curious, as was evidenced by the fact that he seemed to immerse himself in the Nepali culture. Even if someone's not Einstein, the fact that he's curious and accepting of other people and culture speaks volumes to me. 

[trimthatfat]

I didn't say the man had to be Einstein - he just seems like an average guy to me. *shrug* I also wasn't trying to say anything bad about Derick by saying he seems like an average guy. It's not an insult.

Edited September 24, 2014 by trimthatfat

[galax-arena]

I also wasn't trying to say anything bad about Derick by saying he seems like an average guy. It's not an insult.

Yeah, I don't disagree, I think it's just that for me he comes off as intelligent/articulate/curious relative to the Duggars, haha. That's not really saying much because the Duggars are about as intellectually curious/open as lumps of lard, but still.

 

I can't imagine Derick acting as juvenile as a lot of the Duggars did when they tried food at that Ethiopian place. 

Edited September 24, 2014 by galax-arena

[trimthatfat]

Okay, I get that.

Edited September 24, 2014 by trimthatfat

[Ilovemylabs]

Just once I would like to see someone refuse to go on camera. If I was sick in the hospital, I sure as he'll would not be allowing a camera crew in. What is the appeal? The almighty dollar? The "fame"? I can see how the Duggar kids got suckered into this, God forbid one of them disobeys, & Derick signed on for this circus, but his mom didn't, & neither did his brother or his brother's girlfriend. So why on the world didn't they say NO, I refuse to be part of the show?

Michelle's family seems to be completely out of the picture.  Were they invited to the wedding?  I understand she had some issues with them.  Perhaps they just put their foot down and said no.  Good for them!

[Literata]

We've seen one supportive sister, right? The one who's 20-some years older? Or is she the one who passed away recently? I imagine some siblings, including the gay sister, choose to stay far, far away.

[GEML]

It's just wrong to compare a 25 college educated man to a very sheltered 18/19 year old. It's wrong that the show and the Duggars set it up this way. Who Ben becomes in the next five or six years is going to be an enormous part of his development as a person, no matter what choices he makes, whereas Derrick is much more fully formed (this is just basic neurobiology, not a out them specifically.)

[floridamom]

Just re-watched last night's episode of Jill's dress shopping and JB's little camping trip. The producers asked Derick what was an acceptable amount of time for he and Jill to be apart. He responded by saying the hours that he needed to be at work was sufficient, that way, he said, at least he would accomplish something during that time. Jill disagreed with that.

I got the distinct impression that Jill is NOT happy with the fact that her now husband actually has to work a real 40 hour job away from home and can't come and go as he pleases like her daddy. I also wonder just how much time is Derick taking off away from work to appear on this show. I absolutely don't think that WalMart would excuse an employee every week as he would need to be. I don't see Derick leaving his real job with medical benefits, especially after his mother fell ill and I'm sure those bills were high and that 20% OOP copayment was a blessing to have. Jill just doesn't understand such things, it seems.

I also noticed that Jill still speaks like a 14 year old infatuated with the "older guy", Derick, like a first crush.

[cereality]

I don't think Derick is Einstein either. I mean he's an accounting major from a medium ranked university with an entry level corporate job --nothing wrong with any of that as that is what most people are, but we're not talking MIT educated rocket scientist here. But he seems like Einstein when you compare him to the likes of Josh and JD.

 

There has been lots of talk about why Derick -- a Christian, college educated man with a corporate job -- would want Jill, a teen girl whose daddy makes you jump through hoops to get with her and even then you can only court for a few months and can never speak or go out on dates alone. He doesn't strike me as a fame whore type, but I do think he's either shy, inexperienced with women, or has faced some tough rejection. I almost think it was "comforting" to him to go through a process that is basically along the lines of "if your daddy likes me and approves of me, you pretty much have to marry me or else he'll be pissed with you, may not look for other courting partners for you and you'll be unmarried for who knows how long." On paper he has everything a parent would want, he knew that and knew he could get "approved" and then it was just about making enough small talk with Jill on Skype and chaperoned dates that she would fall for him. She and her sisters have the maturity and experience of 6th graders with their first "boyfriends," so they would have fallen for anything that's male, has a heartbeat, talks to her, and is Daddy approved -- see Exhibit A, Ben.

 

I'm not surprised that Cathy and Derick's brother have agreed to appear on the show. They seem like a small, tight family. Derick's brother doesn't seem to like the Duggars and make think his brother is nuts for jumping into this circus. Cathy is older and wiser and probably realizes already that a family like the Duggars -- which requires all 22 members to show up to meet Derick at the airport -- will easily push her family aside and occupy his time as they always have something going on and are just generally domineering. She likely doesn't want that to happen, so she is staying involved with what is important to her son and asking his bro to do the same -- right now it is the TV show; if he asks them to be on, they'll be on because they don't later want to feel like "well Derick barely comes over once every 2 months bc he's always with Jill's family on that TV show -- I guess we should have offered to be on once in a while so we'd see him." In a few months, his baby will be important to him and I imagine Cathy and Derick's brother will be involved there as well -- the kid will mostly be a Duggar as I'm sure JB and crew will barge in 15 min after Jill gives birth, but I'm sure Cathy wants the child to have some closeness with the Dillard side as well.

 

Honestly I feel like it would be very easy for Cathy to "win over" Jill once she's feeling better. Poor girl has had no maternal attention growing up. I think small things like -- lets go shopping or paint our nails or do you need help with that decorating project for your house -- could really bond the two, as it would give them something to do, while chatting and allowing Jill to learn more about Cathy, Derick, Derick's dad etc. It's not like she knows everything about Derick -- she went from first date to marriage in a matter of months; she'd probably love to hear stories about him in high school or how he was with his dad or whatever.

[lottiedottie]

 

I got the distinct impression that Jill is NOT happy with the fact that her now husband actually has to work a real 40 hour job away from home and can't come and go as he pleases like her daddy. 

 

I'm thinking she is bored out of her mind. She goes from being surrounded by 20 other people all the time, and being responsible for her buddies, to living with one person who has to actually get up at a regular time and go to work for EIGHT WHOLE HOURS (plus commute!). She doesn't have anything to do all day. Newsflash to Jill--this is why people make friends, go to school, work, volunteer, have hobbies...JB and Michelle have managed to raise the most boring humans on the planet. One cannot fill their day with bible verses  alone and be a complete person. I'm not surprised she doesn't like Derick's schedule/time away. I would not be surprised if this is one thing is an "issue" for these newlyweds. Aside from the normal things a couple goes through at the beginning of a marriage/living together, they have to deal with the fact that Jill has never really watched a person keep a real life schedule and have responsibilities.

[floridamom]

I'm watching the trip to Nepal episode. Can't believe the 6th grade comment Jill made.."I think he likes me,", but " I don't know!". Why didn't she ask "her friends to ask his friends during lunch period"? Also, another backwards comment and belief system: Jim Bob asked them after 2 DAYS together what they thought? Nonsense. Jill in her TH interview said that she didn't know if he was "the one"....to START A RELATIONSHIP with...doesn't a person start a relationship first to get to know the other and then after some time you will know "if that's the 'one'"? How can you know if that's your spouse BEFORE your relationship starts? Can't believe it. Jim bob really put a lot of pressure on Derick out there. I also suspect strongly that their "meeting" didn't occur in Nepal. Who flies acoss the earth to meet a total stranger when they will be local in two months? I believe all this was a "reenactment" of things that had already occurred...they knew one another already..just too improbable IMO.

[Higgins]

I think the idea is that if a couple shares common goals and values and believes marriage is the ultimate commitment, they can make it work. Much like arranged marriages that still happen all the time.

[Absolom]

 

living with one person who has to actually get up at a regular time and go to work for EIGHT WHOLE HOURS (plus commute!).

Derick doesn't have much of a commute. They live just a very few miles away. 

[MV713]

... I think Derick might be dumbing himself down a little for this group. I've noticed he uses words like "neat," which is a word I don't hear too many twenty something guys using, regardless of religious affiliation. He knows something as common as chickpeas maybe misinterpreted as chicken pee. So he has to be mindful of his word choice lest he scare off the good folk with all that fancy talk book learnin a' his.

this!! love it...he couldn't dumb himself down though to sink to the level of Bin.

[NausetGirl]

 As I typed this, I have the "Josh and Anna move to DC" episode on in the background and Josh said, "we're doing this for the children." Ironic, huh?

 

Horseshit, Josh. You're doing it for $175K a year, self-promotion and fame, probably in that order.  But I truly believe there will come a day - and it might be a long time from now - when he deeply and sincerely regrets having been involved with television at all.  Though I don't think he'd admit it to anyone but himself for a million more $$.

[cereality]

Derick doesn't have much of a commute. They live just a very few miles away. 

He may not have the type of commute you'd see in LA or NYC, but I imagine it still takes him 5-10 min to get from his desk through their huge parking lot and probably another 10 min to drive home. That's an extra 30-40 min a day that Jill is without her sweetie. She also hasn't been around anyone with a professional job. She may not understand that a 5:30 quitting time in a corporate job is not invariable as it would be in say retail or construction when you must clock out as your employer doesn't want you on overtime. I'm sure most of us have experienced -- esp in our younger days when our bosses knew that we didn't need to get to daycare before closing time -- that at 5:25 is exactly when the phone rings with some manager wanting to talk about some project for the next day/week and that call ends up taking 20 min. Hopefully Jill realizes that you can't say -- sorry Bob it's my quittin' time and hang up, if you have any interest in retaining your job and moving up the professional ranks.  I mean I should hope Jill gets it at some level -- she's around midwives and those folks have the strangest hours because they aren't leaving until the baby is born, even if it takes all night. But with her 6th grade maturity, I could see her being the type saying "wait -- you said your hours were 9-5, how come you didn't leave until 5:45. I can't believe they made you stay and you don't even get overtime?! See this is why it's better to work for my Daddy -- family comes first."

[satrunrose]

I'm really starting to feel that the tragedy for all of these Duggar, Keller etc couples is that they're in arranged marriages and don't even know it. Yes, arranged marriages can and do work quite well, but the participants have been raised with a concept of marriage that goes along with it. The Gothard girls (and guys too, to a slightly lesser extent), on the other hand, are raised to believe that God (aka Daddy) will send them their perfect soul mate prince charming who they will fall madly in love with instantly. They're encouraged to become infatuated and to approach, well, life, with the maturity of a seventh grader. Where does that leave these women when the infatuation goes away and reality hits?

[Absolom]

That paints an extremely immature picture of Jill if she can't take another 15 minutes a day absence of Derick.  Of course, that may be accurate. 

[Mrsjumbo]

I'm thinking she is bored out of her mind. She goes from being surrounded by 20 other people all the time, and being responsible for her buddies, to living with one person who has to actually get up at a regular time and go to work for EIGHT WHOLE HOURS (plus commute!). She doesn't have anything to do all day. Newsflash to Jill--this is why people make friends, go to school, work, volunteer, have hobbies...JB and Michelle have managed to raise the most boring humans on the planet. One cannot fill their day with bible verses alone and be a complete person. I'm not surprised she doesn't like Derick's schedule/time away. I would not be surprised if this is one thing is an "issue" for these newlyweds. Aside from the normal things a couple goes through at the beginning of a marriage/living together, they have to deal with the fact that Jill has never really watched a person keep a real life schedule and have responsibilities.

Well, soon she will have a baby to occupy her time, with many more to follow, I'm sure.

[trimthatfat]

If Jill really is bored out of her mind, I don't feel bad for her. She could easily take up a few hobbies and even volunteer for a local organization. One of my good friends is a stay-at-home wife and she spends most mornings volunteering for a church's daycare program. Derick has to work - he doesn't come from a world where the head of a household makes millions of dollars from a reality show and can afford to hang out all day with his wife and kids. Long after the show is over, it's Derick job that will provide for the family.

[CarolMK]

Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like for the Duggars if Jim Bob had not gotten lucky in real estate and the reality show never came along. He might have had to work 50-60 hours a week to support his family, and put his sons all to work for him as soon as they graduated homeshool in order to help provide for their family. Also, I suspect there would have not been 19 children if Jim Bob had had to work those kinds of hours all his life...he might have been too tired to get Michelle pregnant every 16-17 months for years on end. And they also might have been stuck in that 3 bedroom,2 bath house even today. 

But Jim Bob being home with the family 24/7, it seems unusual to Jill for her husband to work a typical 8 hour day. 

[Ljohnson1987]

i can imagine Jill saying "I totally do!" when they asked if she wanted to marry Derrick. She acts like a 14 year old girl.

[MelineB13]

At least all of the items Jill and Derrick are registering for are fair priced/middle ground items.  Unlike certain teen mom's who register for (and get) $200 baby swings.  The reality is, they have fans, who want to send them things.  At least this way they get things they want and will use.  And I know a lot of stores will let you return items without receipts as long as you have a registry at the store, and you can get discounts on items that weren't purchased for up to a year I believe.  So I don't fault them for registering for things that they won't use immedietly. 

 

There is now a second registry that I'm pretty sure is fake.  Considering it includes Private Parts the movie, a set of red lace thong underwear and a bottle of vodka. Shame on whoever made that one up hoping to cash in on the gifts they would receive. 

Edited September 26, 2014 by MelineB13

[Rhondinella]

Yes, that is a parody list, clearly.  It was discussed here earlier.