Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Julia]

Doctors and pediatricians offer advice on staying well when traveling abroad.  For example, precautions to take with new water sources or a different vaccine schedule.  Unless there are mitigating health factors, there really isn't any reason to advise women and children to not travel abroad.  

 

The Mayo clinic (which I found to be the least alarmist of the sources I used during pregnancy) identifies pregnant women and babies as high-risk travelers, and identifies a few vaccines pregnant women can't take. There's also a risk of dehydration for the woman as the intestinal flora adjust, and possible exposure for the child to diseases his mother's milk doesn't provide immunity to. 

 

That doesn't mean they can't, or shouldn't, travel but there's less than no risk involved even with a short-term stay.

Edited May 24, 2015 by Julia

[bluebonnet]

The Mayo clinic (which I found to be the least alarmist of the sources I used during pregnancy) identifies pregnant women and babies as high-risk travelers, and identifies a few vaccines pregnant women can't take. There's also a risk of dehydration for the woman as the intestinal flora adjust, and possible exposure for the child to diseases his mother's milk doesn't provide immunity to. 

 

That doesn't mean they can't, or shouldn't, travel but there's less than no risk involved even with a short-term stay.

Looks like we're actually in agreement with one another.  Different vaccine schedule, certain extra precautions, and acknowledging that xenophobia is intolerable.

Edited May 24, 2015 by bluebonnet

[truthtalk2014]

I don't think she told him before or after they were married. I think the family was tipped off that the shit was about to hit the fan and Jill likely told Derick shortly before they taped the big group interview.

I was just on Instagram and Jill looks really pretty in the pic she posted of her and Jessa, but some of the comments are disturbing. I don't have an issue with people posting messages of support but berating the family for their religious hypocrisy and voicing their opinions on Josh is inappropriate, IMO. Jill is a victim here, not the offender. I can't believe their social media is still up and running with all this going on.

That picture is from a fan page- not the official page.

 

I am hoping that they knew this storm was brewing and Derrick is either being transferred or has another job offer in another part of the country.  I can't see them taking a newborn to another country.  It's a while before he is fully immunized.  I just don't see it.  

 

I really am keeping my fingers crossed that they want to get the hell out of dodge as the storm was about to hit.  I am also hoping that Jill doesn't want her children in the spotlight as she was subjected.  I could be all wrong.  I've also read rumors that they were preparing for a spinoff of Jill and Derrick.  I'm sure someone will come out at some point if Derrick has left his job at Walmart.  It's a small town and people talk.

[Aethera]

I think for now we don't need to continue the discussion of whether it's safe, advisable or appalling for the Dillards to take a hypothetical mission trip abroad.  We can perhaps resume said discussion if we ever find out what their announcement is. :)

[What In The]

A few months ago, it seemed like Jill was handed a fairytale with side of mansion. Does Josh's thing ruin this? I don't know. Can Derrick keep them in the house with his salary by itself? I may not be Dill's biggest fan but I don't want her to be shit outta luck because of Smuggar.

[Marigold]

[snip]

 

I still wonder when Derick found out and what he thought. He was so impressed with Jim Bob that he sought him our for a prater partner. Bet he isn't so impressed anymore.

Edited May 26, 2015 by Rhondinella
speculating on identity of victims

[MrsMommy]

I think their big announcement was a mission trip or maybe jill going back to midwifery. I honestly don't think there would have been a spin off of just jill and derrick, maybe both married girls but not just jill that doesn't make sense to me

[WalrusGirl]

Personally, I'm hoping that J&D's big announcement is that Walmart is transferring him - in general or to move a step up the ladder. Hard to know what else it might involve other than his career (so something changing re Walmart or taking on a missions commitment), since it didn't read at all like a baby announcement. Who knows - hope we find out, one way or another! (Likely from their social media or the tabloids, before that episode was originally even scheduled to air...)

Derrick went back to work faster than we all thought he would. [...] I have a lot of sympathy for him. I'm 100% certain he didn't know anything before the marriage, but now he'll have to suffer through the paparazzi, the coworkers looks, etc. Really not fair. I think he loves Jill, but this is a huge strain on a very young marriage.

It really is - they've been married for, what, still less than a year, and only knew each other for...8-10 months (including pre-courtship texting and video chats) before that? And they have his mom's serious illness, an insta-baby, a rough delivery, and this, all while still getting to know each other. On the upside, making it through the other side they'll likely be pretty darn solid, but it was already a LOT.

(Also, I'm now suddenly grateful that Jill drove to his office for lunch all the time, and had a Derick's-Work baby shower, because that's going to make it a lot less uncomfortable for her around his coworkers after all the media attention and speculation about her involvement (for lack of a better word).)

[ChocolateAddict]

The "big news" could be that Jill is pregnant again.  Israel is all of one and a bit months old, that's plenty of time to get a second bun in the oven if you are a Duggar! God's army won't build itself you know!

 

*snark*

Edited May 25, 2015 by ChocolateAddict

[kalamac]

I was hoping the announcement would be that they feel God has laid it on their hearts to take a break from having babies, until Jill's body has a had a chance to get back to 100% after Israel's difficult birth.

[Foghorn Leghorn]

I wonder how on earth Derick managed to spend time with Josh and Anna in DC?  Josh acting like "the man" and the expert about kids putting himself in a teaching role.  GAG ME!  Thinking back I don't think he could have known to pull that off?! 

Edited May 25, 2015 by Foghorn Leghorn

[mbutterfly]

The Mayo clinic (which I found to be the least alarmist of the sources I used during pregnancy) identifies pregnant women and babies as high-risk travelers, and identifies a few vaccines pregnant women can't take. There's also a risk of dehydration for the woman as the intestinal flora adjust, and possible exposure for the child to diseases his mother's milk doesn't provide immunity to. 

 

That doesn't mean they can't, or shouldn't, travel but there's less than no risk involved even with a short-term stay.

The career missionaries whom I know are very aware of the health hazards and warnings. When People in the audience ask about going to certain locations for mission, the missionaries provide detailed information about dangers -- including flora -- and inoculations, etc. They are the best informed people I know. Hopefully that is true with Derick's group. Indications are this is true for them. 

[Fuzzysox]

The "big news" could be that Jill is pregnant again. Israel is all of one and a bit months old, that's plenty of time to get a second bun in the oven if you are a Duggar! God's army won't build itself you know!

*snark*

haha or that her GYNE gave her magic pills called birth control. teehee

 

Maybe their big news is that they were asked to be guest speakers at some fest/forum/church?

Edited May 26, 2015 by Fuzzysox

[mythoughtis]

The big news was probably that they had been asked to do the spin off show.

[awaken]

 He was so impressed with Jim Bob that he sought him our for a prater partner. Bet he isn't so impressed anymore.

 

He must feel so betrayed, so punched in the gut right now over that.  I least, I hope so, because if he doesn't, he's excusing JB.  Even I feel betrayed and i don't even know these people in real life!  I would like to believe that Derick has a shred of real world sense about him, even if he is/was seeing the duggars through rose colored glasses for a while.  I would be really sad to see a Guinn-like statement from him, too. 

 

It really is - they've been married for, what, still less than a year, and only knew each other for...8-10 months (including pre-courtship texting and video chats) before that? And they have his mom's serious illness, an insta-baby, a rough delivery, and this, all while still getting to know each other. On the upside, making it through the other side they'll likely be pretty darn solid, but it was already a LOT.

(Also, I'm now suddenly grateful that Jill drove to his office for lunch all the time, and had a Derick's-Work baby shower, because that's going to make it a lot less uncomfortable for her around his coworkers after all the media attention and speculation about her involvement (for lack of a better word).)

 

Great summary.  My thoughts exactly.  Any one or two of those things would be difficult to deal with as major life changes- AND his jaw surgery- he probably physically feels like shit from that as well as being woken up by a newborn at night and dealing with this tragedy.   I cannot imagine the stain on a relationship that all of this must take.  

 

I do not believe Jill and Derick, Ben and Jessa, or Josh and Anna will do anything "big" or unexpected.  I honestly think they will continue on in their lives as is, not move away, not change their beliefs, not have the women go to work, get divorced, separated, stop having or have fewer kids, etc.  I would honestly be shocked if any of them or the other kids do anything beyond their usual everyday lives.  Any discussions that happen between couples will be between closed doors and a happy, brave face will be presented to the world.   

[BitterApple]

Yeah, I think the bloom is definitely off the rose in this relationship. Jill and Derick barely knew each other when they got married and never got to have those first few years of carefree fun. They jumped right into major responsibility with an early pregnancy. Throw in a c-section recovery, dental surgery and a national scandal and the honeymoon is officially over. And these two aren't even out of their mid 20's yet.

[GEML]

And they really had no blue print for handling conflict as a couple. To think of what they are going through and not having that - not saying they need to fight, but they need to be able to handle conflict. What a time to have to learn.

[Albanyguy]

I wonder how on earth Derick managed to spend time with Josh and Anna in DC?  Josh acting like "the man" and the expert about kids putting himself in a teaching role.  GAG ME!  Thinking back I don't think he could have known to pull that off?!

 

 

I think it's very likely that Derrick and Ben only found out about the molestation last week, either right before or right after the shit hit the fan. I can easily see Jim Bob and Michelle "counseling" Jill and Jessa not to breathe a word about the family scandal to their new husbands ("It's in the past...you'll just stir up more trouble...he'll look down on you when he learns how you defrauded your poor brother"). These girls have been so brainwashed that they probably went into their marriages thinking of themselves as "damaged goods" and hoping their husbands would never have to find out. Plus, they were really marrying virtual strangers and had no idea how Derrick or Ben would react.

Edited May 26, 2015 by Albanyguy

[ButterQueen]

I think Derrick loves Jill very much and will help her through this.

[Bella]

I think Derrick loves Jill very much and will help her through this.

 

I hope you're right. I get the sense that he is an inherently good man, but he is in a crazy situation and he's also young, so it will be very difficult for him. Even well-intentioned people who love each other make mistakes. 

[Readalot]

The chaperones were not for accountability sake but to make sure the family secrets were not told before marriage. Sick.

[Fuzzysox]

The chaperones were not for accountability sake but to make sure the family secrets were not told before marriage. Sick.

That statement sure makes a lot of sense now. Even having to share text messages al make even more sense now. The brand had to be protected at all times.

[juneday]

The chaperones were not for accountability sake but to make sure the family secrets were not told before marriage. Sick.

This definitely makes sense but I'm just wondering how exactly Mechelle and Jim Boob thought some of the chaperones were going to make sure whatever courting couple didn't tell the family secrets before the wedding day. Some of the chaperones were young, weren't they, like Jackson, etc.? What were they going to do, start going "shhhh" if they talked about it? They might not even be old enough to understand what the couple was talking about or old enough to "tattle" back to Mechelle and Jim Boob. I've always wondered if some of the couples were like, "Here's five bucks, go play for a few minutes while we have a real discussion by ourselves."

[Janet Snakehole]

It may be wishful thinking, but I hope that Derrick is not so deep into the Duggarness that therapy is off the table. They could use counseling to help them through all of this.

[Sew Sumi]

Fundies typically do not believe in therapy; they are strictly "pray it away" types. We saw that with Mechelle and her "bulimia." I imagine any conflict resolution Jill and Derick may experience will be solved by consulting the Bible. Frankly, given their beliefs, I'd be shocked if they did anything else. 

[cmr2014]

I think Derrick loves Jill very much and will help her through this.

I hope that's true, but I also think that Jill is soaked in kool-aide and sees this from a very different viewpoint than most of us. I could easily see her being very defensive about Josh and being offended if Derick didn't want to spend time with him. I hope that that little snippet that we saw about their "big news" is about them moving away so that they won't have to have this particular argument right now.

[kathe5133]

I feel that there is nothing about Derrick that appears sincere. Derrick sought out Jim Boob for spiritual fellowship, or something. Derrick asked Jim Boob and his fool for permission to court Jill ON CAMERA, then asked Jill to court and got engaged ON CAMERA. Got married ON CAMERA. (and I could go on, but there is no caps lock key on my iPad and I'm tired of shifting, but you get it, "camera" is the operative word in this story...) Since the cameras have played a role in this "marriage" from the start, will Derrick be around when the cameras are gone?

[kalamac]

kathe, usually if you double click the shift key or hit both shift keys at the same time, it turns on the caps lock. (Apologies, if you know this and it's not working, I've just found some people are unaware.)

 

I've not thought much of Derrick, but I do hope things work out, and he's capable of giving Jill all the support she needs.

[Lillybee]

I do feel for Jill, that was a hard birth that will take a while to recover from. My DIL just gave birth. Like Jill she was two weeks overdue.

She labored for 40 hours and then had to have a C-section because the baby turned. She is lucky because she has a great support team but it will take her a while to recover.

 

From what we know Derrick has been great supporting Jill and I believe that he will support her from what is now going on. I hope that they are hiding from media scrutiny with his family who will not make Jill feel that she is damaged goods.

[Micks Picks]

Well maybe if Jill and Derrick's news is that they are going on a mission, or that Derrick is a pastor of a church a few hundred miles away, seeing as how their house would now be available, and the one Josh bought still seems to need a heck of a lot of work, maybe JB would move Josh in as soon as Jill vacates.  Done and done.

[GEML]

I think Derick and Jill love each other a lot. But I also think they don't know each other well, have both had surgery recently, a brand new baby, and then a major crisis like this. That's a lot for any couple to handle.

[GEML]

Brought over from the episode thread - Jill may be going through not just a "disappointed with the birthing" situation, but a very real theological crisis. She probably prayed that everything would go well, and might have believed up until the end that her prayers would result in the baby almost magically turning around even though he was extremely large and she had already had her water burst.

She may feel God let her down. She may feel she did something that caused God to let her down. (Again, we're likely to read everything through the new Josh charges, but she may not, as her time frame may be very different.) But theological crises are very real and very painful.

[Fuzzysox]

Brought over from the episode thread - Jill may be going through not just a "disappointed with the birthing" situation, but a very real theological crisis. She probably prayed that everything would go well, and might have believed up until the end that her prayers would result in the baby almost magically turning around even though he was extremely large and she had already had her water burst.

She may feel God let her down. She may feel she did something that caused God to let her down. (Again, we're likely to read everything through the new Josh charges, but she may not, as her time frame may be very different.) But theological crises are very real and very painful.

I completely understand what you are saying. Jill was taught all her life if you pray and pray your life will be a fairytale. Sadly, nothing they have been taught has prepared them for the real world. I think she will need a long time to understand that praying isn't the whole answer to everything.

[GEML]

Especially since she and Derick put so much emphasis into this "spiritual" preparation for the birth, with Bible verses and specific hymns and everything. I have a feeling those were as large a part of her birthing plan as was the natural childbirth and no medication. And in some ways, she's been taught that her own body will let her down (and she's watched her mother's body let her mother down) but I don't know that she's ever had that moment as an adult where she's treated something as a deep spiritual experience and God didn't answer her the way she wanted him to. Most of us go through that much earlier, but given the sheltered life she's had, this might be her first go round.

[Marigold]

I think Derick and Jill love each other a lot. But I also think they don't know each other well, have both had surgery recently, a brand new baby, and then a major crisis like this. That's a lot for any couple to handle.

And Cathy's cancer too!

Maybe that is why they seem a little clumsy with eachother. They have had non stop issues/problems since the engagement.

[kstar821]

I think she will need a long time to understand that praying isn't the whole answer to everything.

 

 

 

My husband and I are pretty religious and I will say that praying is always the answer.  What Jilly wasn't taught is that sometimes God answers prayer by saying no no matter how hard you pray for something. 

[Clemgo3165]

I feel that there is nothing about Derrick that appears sincere. Derrick sought out Jim Boob for spiritual fellowship, or something. Derrick asked Jim Boob and his fool for permission to court Jill ON CAMERA, then asked Jill to court and got engaged ON CAMERA. Got married ON CAMERA. (and I could go on, but there is no caps lock key on my iPad and I'm tired of shifting, but you get it, "camera" is the operative word in this story...) Since the cameras have played a role in this "marriage" from the start, will Derrick be around when the cameras are gone?

 

I might well be very wrong, but he sure seems sincere when he's with Jill. No, he's not a smooth talker, but in all the pics he and his family seem completely over the moon with little Iz. He's taken on the nighttime care of the little guy and seemed genuinely supportive of her during labor and afterwards. I think he sought out JB because there was likely some money there to support his mission. And it was JB who suggested Jill as a possible mate and introduced them. Doing all of those things on camera is par for the course when the woman you're interested in has a family reality show. Ben did all of those things too, as did Anna.

[mbutterfly]

My husband and I are pretty religious and I will say that praying is always the answer.  What Jilly wasn't taught is that sometimes God answers prayer by saying no no matter how hard you pray for something. 

And sometimes what is good down the road is very different than the pretty picture in your head. 

[dillpickles]

The "big news" could be that Jill is pregnant again. Israel is all of one and a bit months old, that's plenty of time to get a second bun in the oven if you are a Duggar! God's army won't build itself you know!

*snark*

but jim bob would be so happy to hear that. Maybe she told him her bakery is closed.

*snarksnark*

[GEML]

Sometimes learning that God's answer isn't your answer is the toughest lesson. Especially when your answer seems natural, easier and good.

[kstar821]

Exactly what I was trying to say, GEML!  You said it better than me. :)

[GEML]

One of the wild cards is that we are assuming that the police report is "true." And strictly speaking, it may have been honest at the time it was given. But several people have noticed that given the "I like to play broom ball/favorite class is spelling/least favorite math" it does sound coached.

Also, a five year old testimony isn't in and of itself reliable. Dozens of daycare workers accused of satanism will arrest to this. She could have heard her sisters talking and wanted to be included. I am NOT disbelieving her - I'm simply saying that a police report is not in and of itself "truth."

The flip side is that the daughter who claimed to have not to have been touched may not have remembered at that time, but has since remembered. And she may be feeling emotions more acutely, if her memories are fresher than the other girls'. Just because the police report says this many daughters but not this one doesn't mean it's TRUE, even if everyone involved was honest at the time.

[Foghorn Leghorn]

Josh admitted he was guilty of molestation!  End of story for me, they were minors and I don't care who they were he admitted wrongdoing.  

[anony mouse]

One of the wild cards is that we are assuming that the police report is "true." And strictly speaking, it may have been honest at the time it was given. But several people have noticed that given the "I like to play broom ball/favorite class is spelling/least favorite math" it does sound coached.

Also, a five year old testimony isn't in and of itself reliable. Dozens of daycare workers accused of satanism will arrest to this. She could have heard her sisters talking and wanted to be included. I am NOT disbelieving her - I'm simply saying that a police report is not in and of itself "truth."

The flip side is that the daughter who claimed to have not to have been touched may not have remembered at that time, but has since remembered. And she may be feeling emotions more acutely, if her memories are fresher than the other girls'. Just because the police report says this many daughters but not this one doesn't mean it's TRUE, even if everyone involved was honest at the time.

That is true. I've worked in criminal defense for four years, and many times, reports are inaccurate. Just because it is in the narrative doesn't mean that it's true. Usually, there is some grain of truth. Conversely, things may not be in the report that are far worse. So at this point, God only knows what happened.

[GEML]

Well, it matters very much to the people victimized - especially if they are only now, perhaps, realizing it. We know, for instance, that at least SOME (perhaps most or even all - the report is all we have to go by) of the assaults occurred when the young woman was sleeping. It's a lot easier to repress or forget something under that state. Several of the young women in the family have had major life changes that might have brought back some old memories, not to mention having this story all over the media.

Again, I think the young women were honest. But that doesn't mean every word of the report is true. It actually could be worse.

[NikSac]

I still think that there was another layer of tension, once Jill came out on the Digging With The Duggars episode. Why? I think that the family is afraid of how the Dillard family will handle this knowledge. They have not come out in defense of the Duggars like the Seewalds have.

 

Personally I think all of them should be quiet right now. I think statements from the network and immediate family were needed, but for right now I think the Seewalds should have just said absolutely nothing, like the Dillards are doing.

[Sew Sumi]

I still think that there was another layer of tension, once Jill came out on the Digging With The Duggars episode. Why? I think that the family is afraid of how the Dillard family will handle this knowledge. They have not come out in defense of the Duggars like the Seewalds have. According to Gothard rules, Jill's loyalty now must be to Derrick, not her father. The Dillards have a baby to protect. They may be going their own way in this crisis, and the Duggars know it. Thus the tension when Jill appeared.

Dan Dillard posted support of Josh on FB over the weekend. Someone just posted a screengrab on the Smuganna thread. He's pretty disparaging of non-Christians. 

 

eta: The "Digging In" episode was taped when Izzy was 4 weeks old, which translates to very early May. This news just broke on the 20th (first InTouch story, without the police report). I don't see how they would have known anything that far in advance. They were likely called for comment last Tuesday at the very earliest. 

 

It just seemed to me that Jill is still rather uncomfortable with Izzy, for whatever reason. 

Edited May 28, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[Gweilo]

I sincerely hope that Jill's "parents" aren't ordering her to get pregnant again ASAP. Because, you know, cute newborns totally distract people from molestation.

[Happyfatchick]

I completely understand what you are saying. Jill was taught all her life if you pray and pray your life will be a fairytale. Sadly, nothing they have been taught has prepared them for the real world. I think she will need a long time to understand that praying isn't the whole answer to everything.

And "Part B", Fuzzy, is that if God didn't protect you and give you the fairytale, you must have done something to cause God to lose favor with you OR (and this is BIG), He's trying to teach you something through this experience and you must buckle down, batten up and LEARN what it is God has in store for you. I haven't heard Jill precisely say that all these experiences have taught her to fully lean on God (which will CERTAINLY be her line in a few years, looking back, when she's on speaking tours). These are the things we are taught all the way from the nursery up in a Baptist setting. God has allowed this trauma/hardship/disaster in my life in order to teach me something (patience, kindness, long suffering, endurance, etc.).

I've actually said, when life suuuuuuuuucked, "I'm not sure what God is trying to teach me, but I hope He sends a memo soon because this is about to kill me." It IS HARD when you try to do everything exactly right, according to what you've always been taught, and you pray SO hard - and EVERYTHING is just wrong. It is depressing, it is degrading, it is emotionally taxing, it is physically draining. They really have had a tough time right from the beginning.

That deer in the headlights thing we're seeing on Jills face lately, and the way she seems oddly disconnected is not what I expected from her. I thought she'd be all over motherhood and we'd be sick sick sick of hearing about it. Or maybe it's the way she just suddenly appeared in that last show. And looked uncomfortable the whole time, like she couldn't wait to get away.

And I really, honestly think Derrick is a good guy. I don't think he's stupid (except for marrying into the Buggars - what a fun typo! I really do believe he loves Jill. He sure looks at her like he means it.

[What In The]

I sincerely hope that Jill's "parents" aren't ordering her to get pregnant again ASAP. Because, you know, cute newborns totally distract people from molestation.

Sadly for all of them, I don't even think a pack of newborns could save their show now pr reputations. Even if Michelle popped out IVF sextuplets named Jumanji, Jethro, Just save our show, Jimbob Jr, Jackpot, and Justice its too late.