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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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On 9/4/2021 at 8:09 PM, MsJamieDornan said:

My mother called me the underwear hoarder.

How does one live with only 10 outfits ?

I remember when my son went away to college. I can't remember how much I told him to pack when it came to his clothes, but he brought enough shirts for a week, a few pairs of jeans and enough underwear for the week. I ended up giving him some  money to go buy some more clothes. He also had a credit card. When he came back home, I made sure to pack the clothes! 

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2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Derick is still Derick, even with his degrees. While there are many like minded folks out there, I can't imagine there are a slew of positions open in NWA for a loud and hateful conservative Christian. One quick Google search will keep him from even getting an interview at many places.

Oh, right. Hmmm……some people get in their own way.  It’s unfortunate.  I’m always amazed to see  ignorance in highly educated people.  Especially over the last year.  
 

There are some attorneys like that in NC.  Some do pretty well, if they find their nitch.☹️

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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Haven't followed in recent months - have they said what Derick is doing for a living? At this point it's been 4-5 weeks since the bar, so bar results are probably coming out any day now if they haven't already. Most people who have jobs lined up pre graduation also start in Sept, though IME it doesn't have to be THIS early - I personally started at my big NYC firm in the last week of Sept and I knew plenty who started Sept 15 so he may still have a few weeks to go if he has a job lined up. If he doesn't have one lined up, I suppose he's frantically interviewing now.

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Someone posted a link for the Bar results upthread. I didn’t see his name.

 I chose to wait until I got my results before taking a job.  I felt it would be too embarrassing to fail and have to break the news to my employer. I was much younger then and didn’t have the perspective I do now.  lol Rather immature. I jumped right into it the day after I got my results, though.  It worked out ok, thankfully.  Things are different now with covid, I suppose,  

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Damn he failed. Just looked at the Arkansas list. Having taken the bar myself (NY), it isn't that hard BUT it is one of those things that requires ALL your time and you must study for it like a full time job - 40 hrs/wk minimum; it is a memorization test, it doesn't matter how smart you are - if you don't know the little details backwards and forwards and can't apply them to the questions, you will fail.

Given what we saw of Derick's study habits in the video from his 3L finals, I can't say I'm shocked. I mean it was all about - study for 30 min, then Jill comes in here and stares at me eating her bagel as I "study" 30 min more while chit chatting with her, then I run out to my chiropractor appt, then I come back to study for 2 more hrs - but oh gotta take out the trash, the dog, lunch time etc., ok now time to study - oh wait the kid is sleeping, will study here in the family room with Jill massaging my shoulders, and oh wait now it's 3 pm older kid home -- ok family time and maybe I'll "study" as a 1st grader does his homework. Come on. This is not how a professional school works, he studies like he's in high school. And honestly if he can't focus at home - how seriously are they really taking covid? Could he not set himself up 8 hrs/day at a library or even 4 hrs/day on the outdoor patio of some coffee shop?

And thing is Derick is neither a genius nor going to an ivy league law school. At my law school, the pass rate for the bar was 98-99% -- like you had to work at it to fail (and every year 1-2 people do fail bc they don't show for bar review classes, start their vacationing pre bar exam, and then try to cram it all into the last week and tell themselves it would be fine) BUT people still worked hard - at least 40 hrs/wk and often more like 60-70 hrs/wk for 6-7 wks to GUARANTEE they'd pass. He went to UA which is a fine school but we're not talking Harvard here AND he is an average student. He has posted his GPAs online - 3.7 in high school, 3.5 in college, and 3.2 in law school. By no means do these suggest someone who is SOOOO stellar that he doesn't need to study etc.

But I'm sure he and Jill are just spinning it to themselves as God's will, God testing us etc.

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Is a 3.2 GPA considered average for law school? That would have been considered alarmingly low in the English graduate department, but I think there was probably some inherent grade inflation afoot. 

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I mean a 3.2 is fine in law school - it  suggests a B/B+ student; you graduate from the ivy law schools with a B+ average, you'll get picked up by one of the top 50 law firms in the nation. But he's at UA. It's fine but by no means are you a top of the class, editor on law review (which is a big prestige thing in law) type of student. You're more a middle of the pack student, so maybe take the bar exam seriously.

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4 minutes ago, cereality said:

I mean a 3.2 is fine in law school - it  suggests a B/B+ student; you graduate from the ivy law schools with a B+ average, you'll get picked up by one of the top 50 law firms in the nation. But he's at UA. It's fine but by no means are you a top of the class, editor on law review (which is a big prestige thing in law) type of student. You're more a middle of the pack student, so maybe take the bar exam seriously.

Thank you! That makes sense. 

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On 9/8/2021 at 2:39 PM, GeeGolly said:

 While there are many like minded folks out there, I can't imagine there are a slew of positions open in NWA for a loud and hateful conservative Christian.

I think just the opposite would be true.  Or he could always move to Texas.

20 hours ago, cereality said:

.He went to UA which is a fine school but we're not talking Harvard here

You know, in the last few years many if not most of the complete assholes I have seen on the news are listed as Harvard Law grads.  It makes me seriously doubt their vetting process. 

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I mean you can doubt Harvard or not, that's your choice, I didn't go there. But reality is that schools like Harvard, Yale etc. set the tone for acceptable scores, employment etc. A C student from Harvard Law can still go really really far in his/her career simply bc he/she was one of a few % of people that got accepted. You get a certain benefit of the doubt coming from the ivys that you simply don't coming from places like UA. Seems like Derick maybe doesn't understand that. An ivy grad failing the bar once or multiple times is viewed differently than a UA grad failing even once -- if he doesn't handle this right, his career could be over before it starts.

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Can someone help me see a different perspective? When I compare the Dillards and the Vuolos, I see very similar changes and paths. One is obviously more curated than the other, but Jinger was actually the first one to shake off Gothard. And Jill continues to post religious posts and was shown training her boys with instant obedience.

Then it seems once Derick challenged JB the Dillards became the Golden Couple. Yet they both have said they respect and appreciate Jill's parents. The only clear difference I see, is they've set clear boundaries (both JB and the Dillards). But they also live nearby and the Vuolos don't.

I feel like I'm missing something. Its probably staring me right in the face. (lol) Thanks in advance.

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41 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Can someone help me see a different perspective? When I compare the Dillards and the Vuolos, I see very similar changes and paths. One is obviously more curated than the other, but Jinger was actually the first one to shake off Gothard. And Jill continues to post religious posts and was shown training her boys with instant obedience.

Then it seems once Derick challenged JB the Dillards became the Golden Couple. Yet they both have said they respect and appreciate Jill's parents. The only clear difference I see, is they've set clear boundaries (both JB and the Dillards). But they also live nearby and the Vuolos don't.

I feel like I'm missing something. Its probably staring me right in the face. (lol) Thanks in advance.

Derick and Jeremy both pursued graduate degrees, but Derick actually went to a secular school and was exposed to other students and professors with different backgrounds, as well as different political and religious beliefs. Jeremy attends a religious school with questionable accreditation where the professors and the student body are comprised entirely of men with similar religious beliefs, and likely similar political beliefs as well. Furthermore, I suspect most of these men are White. 

I don't see Derick and Jill clinging on to Gothard, nor have they appeared to have picked up a new cult. They appear to have Southern Baptist beliefs, which while too conservative for me, is also very mainstream compared to where they (particularly Jill) came from. Jinger and Jeremy were the first ones to break from Gothard for sure, but they also went to a new cult (MacArthur) which is either similar or worse than Gothard. I'm kind of inclined to think that MacArthurism is worse than Gothardism, because with some of the Gothard families I felt like the push to upholding Gothardism was driven by some of the women in the family (i.e., Michelle, Anna, Jessa) and in that sense, in their own strange way, the women have some power even while assuming a "traditional" role. For example, I don't think JillRod would thrive in MacArthurism - she's just not meek and she's clearly the one that runs the show in her family in her own way. But JillRod would thrive in Gothardism.

What else...Israel is in his second year of public school. It's still too early to know about Felicity. 

Jill hasn't shaken everything that she has learned when she was more entrenched in Gothardism, but she also appears to be at liberty to disagree with Derick, than I see with Jinger and Jeremy. On one of their Q and As, they clearly disagreed on the subject of evolution and the age of the earth. Jill still believes that the earth is 6,000 years old, and while Derick did not come out and openly stated that he believed in evolution as fact, he did openly state that he believes in science and alluded that he believes the earth is more than 6,000 years old. 

Where is the evidence that Derick has stated he respects Boob lately? He may not have openly stated that he has disrespected him. That doesn't tell us anything about his level of respect for him. He may tolerate him for Jill's sake. And even then, the Josh scandal, and particularly Boob helping Josh, also has to be factored into this equation. I don't think Derick (or Jeremy for that matter) had any issues with how Boob and Michelle parented their kids, but I could see them both having issues with how Boob and Michelle handled the Josh situation, especially at present, and then Derick would have an additional issue with Boob that is TLC-related.

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4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Can someone help me see a different perspective? When I compare the Dillards and the Vuolos, I see very similar changes and paths. One is obviously more curated than the other, but Jinger was actually the first one to shake off Gothard. And Jill continues to post religious posts and was shown training her boys with instant obedience.

Then it seems once Derick challenged JB the Dillards became the Golden Couple. Yet they both have said they respect and appreciate Jill's parents. The only clear difference I see, is they've set clear boundaries (both JB and the Dillards). But they also live nearby and the Vuolos don't.

I feel like I'm missing something. Its probably staring me right in the face. (lol) Thanks in advance.

It's not as if they would say otherwise. Derick and Jill aren't stupid. Saying they DON'T respect or appreciate either set of parents would be social media suicide, at least to some people. 

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17 minutes ago, Heathen said:

It's not as if they would say otherwise. Derick and Jill aren't stupid. Saying they DON'T respect or appreciate either set of parents would be social media suicide, at least to some people. 

Derick hasn't seemed too worried about how folks respond to his SM posts. He's posted that Santa is not real, he has disparaged Catholics, Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent and others, and he's picked a fight with (then minor) Jazz and her parents.

So is it only Fundies on SM he's worried about?

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Just now, GeeGolly said:

Derick hasn't seemed too worried about how folks respond to his SM posts. He's posted that Santa is not real, he has disparaged Catholics, Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent and others, and he's picked a fight with (then minor) Jazz and her parents.

So is it only Fundies on SM he's worried about?

Ask him, not me. 

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1 minute ago, GeeGolly said:

My post is in response to your opinion about what Derick posts. As far as I know, Derick hasn't offered his opinion about it.

I know what your post is in response to. You asked if Derick was only worried about fundies on social media. Since I have no way of knowing, you should ask him. 

"Respecting" one's parents is on the final frontier of cultural "decency," IMO. To try this at home, tell friends and coworkers that your parents are not worthy of respect. (I've done this.) Watch how fast people tell you that you should respect your parents just because they're your parents and that you're selfish if you don't. 

Have a nice day. I'm pissed off at three certain government employees, and it's not likely to change for the rest of the day. 

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1 hour ago, Cinnabon said:

Great comment, but I don’t think Jill is homely at all. She looks better than ever IMO.

Like Jinger, age is improving improving her looks. She wasn't at the cringe levels that Jinger was back in the day, but Jill had a face that suffered from comparison to her other sisters. To me, right now, she sits it a solid, "reasonably attractive."

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1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Derick hasn't seemed too worried about how folks respond to his SM posts. He's posted that Santa is not real, he has disparaged Catholics, Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent and others, and he's picked a fight with (then minor) Jazz and her parents.

So is it only Fundies on SM he's worried about?

Right. If anything, going full scorched earth on JB and Michelle would be to his benefit, considering his and Jill's obvious efforts in catering to more mainstream crowd.

The "respect for parents" rule wouldn't apply considering how public these particular parents have been with their wretchedness.

Edited by lascuba
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2 hours ago, lascuba said:

Like Jinger, age is improving improving her looks. She wasn't at the cringe levels that Jinger was back in the day, but Jill had a face that suffered from comparison to her other sisters. To me, right now, she sits it a solid, "reasonably attractive."

Dropping a lot of the stilted/fake facial expression helped her beauty tremendously.

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10 hours ago, lascuba said:

Here's what I think is going on based on my own observations and opinions of Duggar fan/hatedom over the years:

1. Derick challenged JB over money (100% justifiably), and because so many of us have wanted the kids to defy JB, many tend to forget the "over money" part and spin fantasies over Jill and Derick's beliefs, because they've been waiting for this defiance for so long.

2. Jill was the clear Golden Child all her life. She was the the genuinely content Gothard child, who was quick to keep all her siblings in line because she liked to hold everyone accountable. (Various siblings have stated this and the former fundie who did that podcast about his friendship with Josh alluded to this). There's something thrilling about the perfect child being the one to defy JB in any way.

3. Despite her Golden Child status, many Duggar haters still loved her because of her cheerful homeliness. That love dimmed a lot after her marriage to Derick, DA stint, and general hot mess-ness she displayed all over social media. Once she cleaned up her social media image, people could go back to liking her since the proof of her...*gestures at Jill* wasn't in their faces.

4. When Jill and Derick's relationship was announced, a LOT of people were (inexplicably to me!) super excited about Jill marrying a college educated missionary, and how that must mean that Jill will soon change her beliefs. Derick eventually proved that he saw Jill's upbringing and the Duggar belief system as a feature, not a bug, and his only problem was they they weren't as openly hateful as he thought they should be. He eventually figured out that shutting up is free; that, coupled with getting into law school, let's people comfortably go back to their original fantasies about him.

Compare that to Jinger and Jeremy:

1. Jinger: The Facial Expression that Launched a Thousand Fan Sites. "Rebel" Amy WISHES she got a fraction of the attention over her antics and unsubtle implications that Jinger would get over the possibility of an eye roll. If Jill was beloved for being a happy dork, Jinger was the one everyone pinned their hopes on for a Duggar rebellion. When she met Jeremy, a good-looking-by-fundie-standards man who went to college, played pro-soccer, and wasn't at all awed or intimidated by JB, of course people were excited. That he was a grown man, a preacher, who was courting an emotional 14 year old, didn't matter much in light of the possibilities of pissing off JB. But then...

2. Jinger turned out to be incredibly submissive and not at all bright. She happily stated that she wasn't opinionated about anything, and wouldn't even state a preference for home decor in case Jeremy didn't like it. And while there was still some hope that the couple would pull away from JB and fundamentalism because Jeremy would decree it so, that possibility isn't as much fun without Jinger being an active participant instead of just following her headship's lead.

3. Jeremy is so obviously eager to ride the Duggar coattails to fame that it's off-putting. His "throw everything to the Christian wall and see what sticks" approach to his career is reflected in his and Jinger's social media accounts. As much as any successful "influencer" is fake as hell, they all fake sincerity and relatability well. Jeremy just can't seem to figure out how to do that. And Jinger isn't savvy enough to figure out how to give off the polished vibe Jeremy insists on while writing trite platitudes.

4. Because Jeremy is putting all his eggs in the famous preacher handbasket, there's no way to pretend that he's secretly a rebel. He and Jinger are doing the fun bits of secularism while still aligning themselves with super conservative assholes, which makes it impossible to see Jinger in shorts and think that it means something profound about her beliefs and what she must think about her parents.

TL:DR - Hopes were much higher for Jinger and Jeremy, and because their current lifestyle relies on their ties to the likes of JM, the disappointment is greater. Jill and Derick had much lower standards to live up to, as well as being much smarter about what they post on social media. People can see what they want to see with them.

I think this is an excellent analysis of the different perceptions of Jill and Jinger. 

Jill seems to get under-earned credit for all sorts of things.  Most of the changes in her are superficial and I don't see Derick as changed at all - he is just being quiet about the controversial things that brought him bad press in the past  Considering that he started out looking to be JB's prayer partner, I never expected him to be the miracle worker that many did.

Jinger turned out as advertised when Jeremy selected her from the herd.  She is meek.  It becomes more obvious that she is not too bright and her opinions are those that Jeremy gives her.  Jeremy is getting lots of negative comments from those on the threads here because he is making somewhat of a spectacle of himself.  There's a desperation he is displaying as he is trying so many random things to get attention and further his quest for...what?  To be rich and famous as a extra-special, super-conservative preacher?  There are days he appears to be covered in flop-sweat.

8 hours ago, lascuba said:

Like Jinger, age is improving improving her looks. She wasn't at the cringe levels that Jinger was back in the day, but Jill had a face that suffered from comparison to her other sisters. To me, right now, she sits it a solid, "reasonably attractive."

I guess she could qualify as "reasonably attractive".  I always see the gummy smile and the squinty eyes with deep crow's feet.

Edited by Suzn
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I haven't read all the responses but the simple reality for me is that I can relate to Jill & Derick more than Jing/Jer. I'm a lawyer on the east coast. I can relate to a law student who is married to a housewife and they are raising their 2 kids in a single family home, while he studies for 3L finals or the bar or job searches, sends their kids to public school etc. Sure they are conservative, but they are conservative southern Baptist types like most people in the deep south. While I am not 100% agree with their views - those folks still go to college/have careers; don't have litters of kids; send those kids to school - public or christian but some school that isn't done by mom at the kitchen table; their wives have friends/wear pants/have a life/can even have jobs of their own/read books/have hobbies besides giving birth etc. It is a MUCH more normal life than what Jill was raised in and to me it's interesting to see her discover life outside of - a woman squats down and gives birth yearly from ages 21 to 45/until she can't and then ignores those kids and lets them raise each other.

Jing/Jer - I have no idea what their life even is. I don't follow them really but when I check their social media once in a while all I see is he's preaching at this church or that kids bible study or on some other bible podcast. How is that different from most fundie grifters? Sure the package is prettier because OMG LA so they're always posing in famous places/in front of palm trees, sure they dress better and are more attractive etc. but really the LIFE is not THAT different from fundie life, except they only have a couple kids. So inherently when I look at Jing/Jer I'm like - yeah we've been seeing this life for 10-20 yrs now between the Duggars/Bates etc., this is just the 2021 LA version of it. 

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I guess to add to the responses, my perception is Jinger is no more meek than Derick is. Jill and Jeremy like to hear themselves talk and believe they are the experts, but that's more about them, than it is about Derick and Jinger.

I also don't see Jeremy floundering on SM, again, any more than Jill. It seems to me they took opportunities of shilling as they came and if it worked fine and if it didn't work they stopped. The rest of the posts are the same as most SM. The Vuolo posts reflect their lives and the Dillard posts reflect theirs.

I naively had high hopes for both Jill and Jinger escaping the clutches of their very conservative beliefs when they married. Somehow I fooled myself into thinking if they adopted some parts of mainstream living they would wake up to the rest.  But at least both sisters seemed to have escaped some of the cult-like mentality and that's a good thing. 

 

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15 hours ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I dont think Jill is homely. I think that the Duggar boys are homely but the Duggar girls are all reasonably attractive once they stop wearing the crimped perms and the godawful countenance-enhancing dresses.

And stop being orange like Jinger was. What was she doing to her skin that she was orange?

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Regarding the bar, I have several lawyer friends..and they had to take the bar two or three times before they passed it.

So Derick should use the next six months to study before retaking it.

I do see they're a typical married couple with 2 kids and a house.  And Jill being a stay at home mom isn't that unusual as people think.

I have several female friends (educated, had high powered careers) that opted to stay home because they wanted to be with their kids.  And some have taken to part time work from home deals, or they became teachers because their schedules coincided with their kids school schedules.

I do like Israel is in 1st grade and lights up with excitement when going to school and coming home from school.  Next year should be when Sam goes to kindergarten since he'll be five during next summer.  And I think Jill doing the basics with Sam is good..and then public school will take it from there.

 

Long post...phew lol

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The kids are what 5 and 4 and are alone in the house while Mom and Dad have "date time" outside?    Not that kids that young need to be watched every second, but you kinda got to be focused on what they are doing.   They can get into stuff very quickly.   

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31 minutes ago, merylinkid said:

The kids are what 5 and 4 and are alone in the house while Mom and Dad have "date time" outside?    Not that kids that young need to be watched every second, but you kinda got to be focused on what they are doing.   They can get into stuff very quickly.   

I tend to agree, but the Dillard kids seems a bit less rambunctios than say Joy or Jessa's kids.  They probably were checking on them every so often, at least I hope so....

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