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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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5 minutes ago, Madtown said:

Dear Jilly,

Kids need structure in their lives. Yes, you've been seeing friends and going to the library, but they need more than that. You don't work and they aren't in any type of school, you need to figure out some sort of structure for them.

It would do you wonders to put the boys in some sort of pre-school. Many churches offer this, even your own church might. They need to with friends, it doesn't even have to be every day. The last child I watched went to a very Christian pre-school and she loved it. The kids even got their own Bibles for Christmas. It was an adorable program. I'm sure your boys would have so much fun with kids their own age.

All parents have "those days," you aren't the only one.

Someone please post this where Jill will read it.

Great advice Madtown!

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8 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Someone please post this where Jill will read it.

Great advice Madtown!

Thank you.

I want her to also know that it's ok to put her kids in a pre-school. If it's at a church, it shouldn't bother her family. Heck, maybe Jessa would follow, who knows. I just find it sad that these girls think they have to spend 24/7 with their kids(except when it's "date night").

I ran such a structured daycare and the kids went down for nap at pretty much the same time every day. I made sure I was never out and about with them when it was close to nap. We even had lunch at the same time. Made sure there was time to read to them before nap as well. To me, structure was everything and it made the days so much easier for all of us. Also, that same child is now in 4th grade and is still in a Christian school and loves it. I do too, as I still watch her here and there and have to pick her up at school some days.

15 minutes ago, Madtown said:

Dear Jilly,

Kids need structure in their lives. Yes, you've been seeing friends and going to the library, but they need more than that. You don't work and they aren't in any type of school, you need to figure out some sort of structure for them.

It would do you wonders to put the boys in some sort of pre-school. Many churches offer this, even your own church might. They need to be with friends, it doesn't even have to be every day. The last child I watched went to a very Christian pre-school and she loved it. The kids even got their own Bibles for Christmas. It was an adorable program. I'm sure your boys would have so much fun with kids their own age.

All parents have "those days," you aren't the only one.

Edited by Madtown
Tried to get rid of my quote. Didn't mean to do that.
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2 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

I found it interesting that when asked if she was homeschooling the kids, Jill replied, "CURRENTLY, yes." That certainly implies that something different may be in the boys' future.

Can it be that Dillwad gets it through his thick head that Jill is not educated enough to teach those boys?  One can only hope.

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19 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

I found it interesting that when asked if she was homeschooling the kids, Jill replied, "CURRENTLY, yes." That certainly implies that something different may be in the boys' future.

Wouldn't that be wonderful!  Alas, it probably means Jill has been hard at work 'teaching' them for around a month now and it's time to take a break for a month or two.  I think that's how the academic calendar runs in Duggar world.

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I had a dream a group of us went and told her what is what   No we didn’t kidnap the boys, but we did show they actual affection and someone showed her how clothes should hang, even modestly     Alas it was but a dream 

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19 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

Wouldn't that be wonderful!  Alas, it probably means Jill has been hard at work 'teaching' them for around a month now and it's time to take a break for a month or two.  I think that's how the academic calendar runs in Duggar world.

Yes, I forget she's a Duggar and could have answered the question literally. However, I do hold out  hope that some of Dumbshit's way with words has rubbed off on her.

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On 9/17/2019 at 3:34 PM, GeeGolly said:

I tend to see things a little different with Jill and Derick and the Duggar parents. I don't think JB has a problem with Derick at all. He said out loud what they all believe and the show continued on without even a pause.

I don't, however, believe for a second that Michelle would help Jill with the boys, but I do think Jana, Jenny and Anna would. And probably even Jason and James. And Jill could certainly just hang at the TTH and let her boys wander aimlessly with the rest of the clan.

The fact that this isn't happening is why I think Derick is on the outs with JB. Either, it's uncomfortable for Jill to be a the TTH because of how they feel about Derick. Or, Derick has forbidden Jill to go there during the day when he's at school and doesn't want to go when he's not, because he's upset that JB didn't back him when he had his TLC tantrum. 

Edited by Nysha
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3 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

I found it interesting that when asked if she was homeschooling the kids, Jill replied, "CURRENTLY, yes." That certainly implies that something different may be in the boys' future.

"We're going to stop educating them altogether once they turn 6!"

Which is not far from the truth.

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6 minutes ago, Nysha said:

The fact that this isn't happening is why I think Derick is on the outs with JB. Either, it's uncomfortable for Jill to be a the TTH because of how they feel about Derick. Or, Derick has forbidden Jill to go there during the day when he's at school and doesn't want to go when he's not, because he's upset that JB didn't back him when he had his TLC tantrum. 

Yes there is a family rift for sure! Jill is never back home chilling with her siblings and momsy. Definetely something happened between them! JB and Dreck probably had a fight over something.

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16 minutes ago, JoanArc said:

"We're going to stop educating them altogether once they turn 6!"

Which is not far from the truth.

What's really sad about this is that she honestly has been diligent about teaching up until now, and, at least Izzy (can't tell about Sam quite yet) is definitely quite advanced for his age. She can probably get them past the age of six, but given her level of competence, she simply doesn't have what it would take to get them beyond an elementary education, especially if they do end up gifted in some subjects.

I'd hope that her answer does mean that she will be willing to recognize when their educational needs might be beyond what she can really give them.

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54 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

Is it crotchety of me to feel like Jill could have included everyone, not just mamas? Something like, "grab a coffee for a stressed friend" would have been more inclusive! I know her personal struggle is with parenting, but people have hard days for a variety of reasons. Shouldn't the message apply to everybody? She still could have written about how hard parenting is, but said to help out a stressed friend at the end. Maybe I'm reading too much into it! It's just a personal pet peeve of mine when moms make everything about being a mom (unless it specifically has to do with that, like staying up all night with a newborn). Maybe it's because I'm not a mom, but I wish I was. I just always feel left out when people say things like this, even though I guarantee I have days just as stressful as Jill's! Or even more, lol! I had thirty kindergarteners today who have been in school for less than a month; show me a mom who dealt with thirty misbehaving kids today, who were strangers on top of that! Lol. I know being a mom is stressful, but other situations are stressful too. Or maybe I'm just having a get off my lawn moment!

I honestly don't think Jill has any frame of reference for any woman who is not a mother.   She has been so insulated that she really doesn't know any working women who are not moms.  How would she know about the stresses found in a fulltime job when she has never had one?  I get it, I am in the middle of my second worst workweek of the year.  I have worked for 10 days straight and some of them involved heavy lifting.   This is on top of my regular duties of managing.   My body and brain are fried, but I will have to go in again tomorrow. 

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2 hours ago, Christina87 said:

Is it crotchety of me to feel like Jill could have included everyone, not just mamas? Something like, "grab a coffee for a stressed friend" would have been more inclusive! I know her personal struggle is with parenting, but people have hard days for a variety of reasons. Shouldn't the message apply to everybody? She still could have written about how hard parenting is, but said to help out a stressed friend at the end. Maybe I'm reading too much into it! It's just a personal pet peeve of mine when moms make everything about being a mom (unless it specifically has to do with that, like staying up all night with a newborn). Maybe it's because I'm not a mom, but I wish I was. I just always feel left out when people say things like this, even though I guarantee I have days just as stressful as Jill's! Or even more, lol! I had thirty kindergarteners today who have been in school for less than a month; show me a mom who dealt with thirty misbehaving kids today, who were strangers on top of that! Lol. I know being a mom is stressful, but other situations are stressful too. Or maybe I'm just having a get off my lawn moment!

For her to do that would require empathy which she does not have.   She is very self absorbed and self centered.   And thank you for doing the Lords work !

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15 hours ago, dariafan said:

For her to do that would require empathy which she does not have.   She is very self absorbed and self centered.   And thank you for doing the Lords work !

Awwww thank you! Thankfully, the kinders were way better today. God knew I needed that today, lol! I think being a teacher makes me annoyed at Jill's post, because we spend our days constantly trying to make sure as many people are included as possible. It seems trivial, but I always try to apply what I say to as broad a set of people as possible! Kids hate being left out, and it's so easy to include everyone most of the time. 

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20 hours ago, Christina87 said:

Is it crotchety of me to feel like Jill could have included everyone, not just mamas? Something like, "grab a coffee for a stressed friend" would have been more inclusive!

I don't see this as any different than most everything everyone posts on social media. folks i see post to their given groups. the boy moms, the girl moms the preschool mom. but also the teachers posting be kind to a teacher, retirees posting help and be watchful of your elderly neighbor.

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1 hour ago, PradaKitty said:

She’s afraid we’ll forget about her.

It's literally her job to post. The more followers/engagement= more $$$$$$$

I really wonder if she didn't make money from IG if she would post. 

Jinger and Jeremy would still post, but I don't know if Jill or Jessa would

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31 minutes ago, Madtown said:

After her "rough" time with them the other day, she probably felt it necessary to let us know she still loves them.

Or, sadly, to  help convince herself that she still does. I sometimes get the impression that some of her posts are a desperate attempt to get confirmation that the feelings she sometimes has toward her boys is not inconsistent with actually loving them. I think that sometimes she feels a lot of resentment toward them that she can't figure out how to reconcile with her upbringing. And the worst part of it us that I think she DOES love them, but overthinks and worries too much about her feelings because they are more complicated than those she was brought up with. So she ends up with the vague impression that she doesn't love them the way she thinks she ought. And they get the brunt of all the confused overcompensation.

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11 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

ETA. On the other hand, I don't think they give a heartbeat's worth the thought to the things they do that are actually bad: beating babies with plastic rods, covering up sexual abuse, grifting money from gullible humpers for "missions," stealing from people in a disaster zone -- to name just a few examples.

I agree with your whole post, but just when I'm feeling sorry for them the second half of your post kicks in and I end up infuriated. 

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27 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Today's DON'T FORGET ME!!!! post.

SO torn here between trying to decide if that's spinach in his teeth or just the current state of the dental care in the family...

Not sure if it would be more surprising if he'd actually eaten spinach or to discover that they have zero dental care.

Also, WTF is up with the creepy dollhouse scene over his shoulder ?!?!

I think I saw something like that on an episode of Night Gallery or The Twilight Zone 😱

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59 minutes ago, DecafPlease said:

SO torn here between trying to decide if that's spinach in his teeth or just the current state of the dental care in the family...

Not sure if it would be more surprising if he'd actually eaten spinach or to discover that they have zero dental care.

Also, WTF is up with the creepy dollhouse scene over his shoulder ?!?!

I think I saw something like that on an episode of Night Gallery or The Twilight Zone 😱

I think his tooth is dark from the whole "he fell or something" post from a couple weeks ago. The dollhouse thing looks like praying figures. Some Jesus-y thing. I love little gifts from my kids like this. 

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1 hour ago, DecafPlease said:

SO torn here between trying to decide if that's spinach in his teeth or just the current state of the dental care in the family...

Not sure if it would be more surprising if he'd actually eaten spinach or to discover that they have zero dental care.

Also, WTF is up with the creepy dollhouse scene over his shoulder ?!?!

I think I saw something like that on an episode of Night Gallery or The Twilight Zone 😱

I am almost ashamed to admit this but I emailed myself a copy of this pic to look more closely at his teeth (no I don't have a life, why do you ask??).  It looks green.  So either like you said it's spinach (who are we kidding, they don't eat THAT kind of food) or decay. 

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8 hours ago, dariafan said:

She’s raised siblings.... so why is she such a bad mom?    And she may love them, but she doesn’t like them 

I think it’s only Israel who she (and D) dislike.  The disdain they have for him is very obvious IMO.  When Samuel leaves the cute toddler stage, they may begin to feel the same way about him, but I doubt it.  

25 minutes ago, awaken said:

She said his teeth were messed up due to "falling or something".  There was another pic of him at the library where it was very evident.  

I think it’s decay.

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On 9/17/2019 at 7:37 PM, Madtown said:

I want her to also know that it's ok to put her kids in a pre-school. If it's at a church, it shouldn't bother her family.

There are a lot of mother's morning out type programs that are half-days.  At the one we used the 4 y/o classes met for 3 hours 5 days a week, but the 3's and under could go for 2-5 days depending on the parents' choice.  I do think the kids would benefit.  We sent ours to a Methodist MMO although we are Catholic.   There are also a number of Christian schools that focus on a classical education with great books, Latin, logic, and other subjects in a classical education.

I think Jill will be a worse teacher than Michelle, and that's saying a lot.  

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Jill claims it was the dentist who said his tooth problems came from "an accident or something." I'd think Jill would know if Izzy had an accident bad enough to damage his teeth. 

Then again, it's Jill. Maybe she heard Izzy crying and told him to suck it up, buttercup.

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