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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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I agree with your statement fuzzysox; looking unnecessarily old and frumpy does not make her a better Christian or more godly in His eyes...I think she likes to draw attention to herself by dressing like that and styling her hair like she does to actually draw attention TO herself.

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I wonder if it crossed their minds that Jana could have made/sewn some nice maternity outfits for Jill. I'm talking about Jill paying Jana for both her time & the materials, not just a Janarella charity moment. One of my friends mother-in-law is a great seamstress & made a lot of maternity outfits for her. Who knows? Maybe Jill did ask Jana but after being treated like a slave sewing the bridesmaids dresses & hand sewing the men's ties, Jana said No Way!!

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(edited)

I wonder if it crossed their minds that Jana could have made/sewn some nice maternity outfits for Jill. I'm talking about Jill paying Jana for both her time & the materials, not just a Janarella charity moment. One of my friends mother-in-law is a great seamstress & made a lot of maternity outfits for her. Who knows? Maybe Jill did ask Jana but after being treated like a slave sewing the bridesmaids dresses & hand sewing the men's ties, Jana said No Way!!

In one of my pregnancies- I can't remember which one- I had my MIL make outfits for me.  She was a great seamstress as well.  Honestly, with all the time, effort and material costs, it was just not worth it when I think back.  You have to find a pattern, pick out material, sew it and all that other hoopla.   Much easier to buy maternity clothes and be done.  

 

Plus, Janderella has a million other jurisdictions.  

Edited by truthtalk2014
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I'll be honest, I was in a position to spend whatever I wanted on maternity clothes and it was still really difficult to find well made, comfortable clothes that I really felt good in, and I was so small that people questioned whether or not I was actually pregnant up until my eighth month (then my daughter arrived and the point was moot.). And I lived in DC, where I had lots of options. So I'm sympathetic to Jill in some ways. At some point, especially as large as she's carrying, at this point in the game, I think I'd just give up.

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Ok I read "Cat Bob Dillard" as Bob Cat Dillard and I so want to vote fot that. Made me laugh out loud.

I just want their 16 minutes of fame to expire. It's all been done and said hasn't it Duggars?

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(edited)

Cathy's husband had a few seconds of camera time at the Jill/Derick wedding. There is no possible way he could have looked less happy and more uncomfortable. The look on his face screamed, "For the love of God, get me out of this freakshow." I realize he was concerned for Cathy's health and probably just wanted to get her home, but he made no effort to hide his disdain for the Duggars. Pretty obvious he wants nothing to do with them.

Edited by Hpmec
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Looks like Derick's side is coming through with the baby showers and gifts -- first WMT and now a pic of a shower at Olive Garden thrown by HIS church family. Does Jill go to church with Derick? Interesting that she refers to it as his church; I'm guessing hers is still at JB's house?

To the poster above who said Derick looks scared -- I'm sure he's terrified. He wanted to chat it up with a cute Godly girl via Skype. Not even a yr later, he's courted her, proposed, married her, had sex, and got her pregnant on the first shot - not to mention returning from Nepal, his first corporate job, a new house, and mom being diagnosed with cancer. Who wouldn't be terrified?? I mean I'm not saying that absent the Duggars lunacy he'd be shacking up with a girlfriend for the next 3 yrs -- but I'd say with a different girl, he'd likely be getting engaged around now after a yr of dating. I mean he's conservative, but he has seen his friends and his own brother have girlfriends for months or years at a time, so I'm sure there's a small part of him wonders if he should've slowed down the Duggars' insistent race to the altar and told his wife they need to be on BC for at least a yr as a honeymoon baby would be too much too soon nj a new relationship.

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I'm sorry but I feel so bad for her being pregnant so quickly into her marriage.  Most couples have time to get to know each other and time to adjust to the issues in their lives (like squirrels) and then suddenly they are gone,  I had hoped they would have had more time.  Sadly, they didn't.

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(edited)

I don't think wearing a fitted shirt while pregnant is to advertise that they've had sex. I'm pregnant, I wear fitted maternity clothes because it's what's comfortable to me- not because I'm flaunting that my husband and I had sex or because I want everyone to pay attention to my belly button.

Yes, but presumably the vast majority of the adults you associate with have also had sex, so it really isn't a think to advertise.

Whereas, most of the adults Jill associates with are unmarried, and thus, have not had sex.  Her frame of reference is very different than a normal socially adjusted person.

 

I don't personally think it's to advertise she's had sex, but that she is pregnant- she wants people to know, because pregnancy gives her limelight. Being pregnant is the entire worth of a woman in the culture Jill was raised in. Jessa's had sex too, but Jill's the one who is serving her purpose.

 

Maternity clothes also trend to fitted now, rather than tents over the tummy- but a lot of what Jill is wearing does look like one size up regular clothes. There has only been 1 or 2 of the outfits she's posted that I thought didn't look great. I think fitted maternity clothes are  generally more flattering.

Edited by Skittl1321
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Skittl1321: Yes, that was my point too, that Jill's frame of reference is not that of any woman in the real world. Having said that, there is also a difference, IMO, between maternity clothes that fit and those that are simply too tight. Jill's are just too tight and unflattering; also her choice of outfits are awful; thus taking away from herself; she looks poorly put together,, like the got dressed in the dark. Clothing needs to fit properly...period. This is just my opinion.


RE: Jill and Derick's Olive Garden shower: I find it strange that she refered to the host of this event as "Derick's church"? That's curious..does she attend a different one? Which church DO they attend and wouldn't it be both of their church? I would LOVE to hear from her about that.

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How many showers did they have? Hmm don't most people have one shower hosted by either their mother or an aunt or a sister? Why hasn't MEchelle done anything------oh because she just likes to talk about how much she LOVES grandbabies when it comes to doing any work it's not going to happen.

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I know it's controversial with some people but in many circles it's considered in poor taste for a mother, grandmother, or sister to host a shower.  I've heard it said that it makes the family look grabby.  I think two showers is not uncommon.  More than that is less usual.  

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(edited)

While I think what they did was crappy and not ok, thinking about the maturing level of the duggars and the new husbands it's not that shocking to me that they would find it funny to try and aim for the cat, likely fully well aware that it would probably move OR to maybe see how fast it would move. 

 

So I agree it's ok to give them hell about it, teach them a lesson - but are we really THAT surprised these people are very immature?


RE: Jill and Derick's Olive Garden shower: I find it strange that she refered to the host of this event as "Derick's church"? That's curious..does she attend a different one? Which church DO they attend and wouldn't it be both of their church? I would LOVE to hear from her about that.

Probably the church he used to attend.  Not sure why that's so weird for her to say it's 'his' church.  I have friends that are grown with kids and moved away from our hometown and they attend different churches but when they speak of their previous church they grew up in they always say "my church".   

Especially if it's a small congregation and he grew up there - those people are practically family. 

Edited by gunderda
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  I've heard it said that it makes the family look grabby. 

In my circle, it is definitely rude for someone related to the mother to be to host the shower.  But the Duggars ARE grabby, so I'm surprised Jill hasn't hosted her own...

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In my circle, it is definitely rude for someone related to the mother to be to host the shower.  But the Duggars ARE grabby, so I'm surprised Jill hasn't hosted her own...

Really?? Around here you usually always have a family one - that is hosted by some family member, a friend shower (or sometimes the friends and family are combined, depending on where most of the family is from)- and maybe a work one.

 

My friend only wanted one shower but she got roped into 3 of them I think..... I helped co-host one for her that was friends, a couple co-workers and a few family members that lived in the area.  Then her cousin and aunt from farther away wanted to host another one for her for family/friends that are closer to our hometown. THEN "her" church from our hometown wanted to do one for her too (and she hasn't been a member of that church for probably 10+ years). 

She only wanted one but didn't want to be rude and decline.

Her sister wanted to do one for her as well but she ended up co-hosting with the cousin/aunt shower.

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Re: baby shower hostesses....It's customary in my background for the maid of honor to also "give the baby shower" as she is the one who will baptize the baby, the best man is the godfather at the christening. So, when a couple chooses their maid of honor and best man, you're pretty much agreeing to be godparents when baptizing the first baby (we do infant baptism). This baby shower is for family and friends of the couple...Usually the wife is working herself, so there is a little one from your work friends at work, in the office, etc...(or, I guess derickdillard's constituants)....but that's IT. Church friends would attend the family's event.

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that is hosted by some family member,

That's what aunties are supposed to do.  :)  

 

At least the Duggars had enough people around them throwing showers that they didn't attempt the ultimate faux pas of Jill hosting it herself.  

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What's getting me about their baby showers is not so much about how many they have had but the number of gifts Jerick has received. Even with the registries to choose from, how may duplicates, triplicates, etc. did they receive of certain items? I'm sure the items will be used, whether it's now or 10 years from now on the 11th blessing. Too bad that someone in Derick's church didn't think of donating to a charity or to their missions department, possibly earmarking $$ to the poor children of Nepal. But no, I'm sure the gifts were overflowing, making more work for Jana who I'm sure has been designated by Jilly to head up the Thank You writing committee. Greed, greed, greed !!!!

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I agree with your statement fuzzysox; looking unnecessarily old and frumpy does not make her a better Christian or more godly in His eyes...I think she likes to draw attention to herself by dressing like that and styling her hair like she does to actually draw attention TO herself.

Just throwing this one out here... If Jilly Muffin actually wanted to look presentable during her pregnancy, it is hard to believe their publicist could not score free clothing or a sponsorship deal with a maternity clothing line.

 

They got everything else for free -- why not this?

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Ok I read "Cat Bob Dillard" as Bob Cat Dillard and I so want to vote fot that. Made me laugh out loud.

I just want their 16 minutes of fame to expire. It's all been done and said hasn't it Duggars?

Okay- I love Bob Cat Dillard even more!  lol

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(edited)

I know it's controversial with some people but in many circles it's considered in poor taste for a mother, grandmother, or sister to host a shower.  I've heard it said that it makes the family look grabby.  I think two showers is not uncommon.  More than that is less usual.  

Wow, I've never heard this before. In my culture (my family is from the Caribbean), a female relative of the mother typically hosts the shower (a cousin, sister, mother, aunt, etc.). My SIL's aunt is throwing hers...my SIL is Italian.

Edited by trimthatfat
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I know it's controversial with some people but in many circles it's considered in poor taste for a mother, grandmother, or sister to host a shower.  I've heard it said that it makes the family look grabby.  I think two showers is not uncommon.  More than that is less usual.  

 

This was my understanding as well. There's an opinion out there that showers should really only be given by friends/members of the wedding party, or perhaps more distant relatives - cousins for example. It's done more and more in my area - the Northeast - but is considered, by a lot of older people especially, to be somewhat tacky when immediate family - mothers, grandmothers, sisters - give a shower. It's seen, according to some etiquette books, as a "plea for gifts" for members of one's own family.

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Re: baby shower hostesses....It's customary in my background for the maid of honor to also "give the baby shower" as she is the one who will baptize the baby, the best man is the godfather at the christening. So, when a couple chooses their maid of honor and best man, you're pretty much agreeing to be godparents when baptizing the first baby (we do infant baptism). 

WOW that's a lot pressure when choosing your bridal party lol 

 

What's getting me about their baby showers is not so much about how many they have had but the number of gifts Jerick has received. Even with the registries to choose from, how may duplicates, triplicates, etc. did they receive of certain items? I'm sure the items will be used, whether it's now or 10 years from now on the 11th blessing. Too bad that someone in Derick's church didn't think of donating to a charity or to their missions department, possibly earmarking $$ to the poor children of Nepal. But no, I'm sure the gifts were overflowing, making more work for Jana who I'm sure has been designated by Jilly to head up the Thank You writing committee. Greed, greed, greed !!!!

I don't know about most people... but if I'm invited to a baby shower I want to buy baby things.  Because baby things are fun and buying them for a new mom is a lot of fun too.  But I like giving gifts.  I don't like giving people money.  Especially if it's for a baby girl because buying baby girl things is really super fun!! (and i'm a person who does not have kids nor do I plan to have kids, but I still like baby stuff)

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Just throwing this one out here... If Jilly Muffin actually wanted to look presentable during her pregnancy, it is hard to believe their publicist could not score free clothing or a sponsorship deal with a maternity clothing line.

 

They got everything else for free -- why not this?

 

LOL - this really made me think. Can you imagine being a publicist and taking on the Duggars as clients? I can't imagine Boob signing up with any non-fundies - and I simply cannot fathom any self-respecting fundie becoming a publicist in the first place. If they do actually have one, it must be someone they were assigned through TLC. Something in their contract that Boob felt he must agree to - or possibly lose the show. Although now that I think about it, their "publicist' could BE Boob - he's one of the best there is at getting - or at least asking for - freebies of all kinds.

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Missy Vixen: great idea...yes, I'm sure someone would know how to dress Jill appropriately and get the wardrobe for free. I'm sure they have publicists through TLC as they want to control their clients' images. Where is that person?


I'm Italian too from New York, and it is customary to have your sister be your MOH at the wedding,(if you don't have one, it's your husband's sister) or then your first cousin, who are already are close to... so you always ask your sis or bro to be godparents of the first child; they already know to throw you a baby shower; it's Italian/NY tradition. No surprises or pressure here; it's a very tight culture....at least it was in my generation, because Italian married Italian..etc...

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I think I hate baby showers more than any other social event, I can't imagine having to attend two or three of them.

I can see Jill and the Duggars being tacky enough to host their own shower. Maybe they're just tired of Jill and can't muster up the energy, lol.

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If I were Derek's coworker or church member or friend of his mother, etc, I'd be absolutely outraged to be asked to donate money or a gift that was going to a mission. Especially if I was the type of person who was already doing donations like that. I would want to buy the new baby of my friend or my friend's son an actual baby gift. I can always buy an outfit for a one year old.

But that's me.

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This was my understanding as well. There's an opinion out there that showers should really only be given by friends/members of the wedding party, or perhaps more distant relatives - cousins for example. It's done more and more in my area - the Northeast - but is considered, by a lot of older people especially, to be somewhat tacky when immediate family - mothers, grandmothers, sisters - give a shower. It's seen, according to some etiquette books, as a "plea for gifts" for members of one's own family.

Yes, I'm from NY and years ago, that is how it was. Immediate family did not do that because it looked like a beg for gifts.

I think rules have changed.

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Showers: They've had three that have been publicized via social media. His work, A Mommy's Butterfly (ie. Vanessa the midwife/wedding planner), and Derick's church. Wanna bet there's a fourth shower that was TOTALLY Duggar-centric that is being saved for the show? You know that's coming...

 

Derick's church: NOT a "homey" atmosphere by any means. In fact, it's quite the opposite. He attends(ed?) Cross Church in Rogers. There are 3 Cross mega Churches in the area; they got married at the Springdale one because it was the largest. The church also sponsored his mission trip.  

 

I had to laugh at the Olive Garden pic from the shower. All that evil wine right behind them! Not to mention, one of Famy's besties (Julie Story) on the computer, I guess with a spreadsheet to keep track of the gifts. She's in charge of the "dance ministry" at that church. Given that Famy seems to be on the outs with the Duggars since spilling to Radar Online, I found Julie's presence very interesting (and wondered if she had ever met Jill or even Derick before).

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I think I hate baby showers more than any other social event, I can't imagine having to attend two or three of them.

Please sit next to me, BitterApple. So awkward and boring, is my opinion of baby showers. I hosted one in my life for a very close friend and she knew what a big deal it was for me to do it. There was no abdomen-measuring or diaper-chocolate-bar guessing. Gack. Ordering supplies for it screwed up my Amazon recommendations for a bit, too, until I fixed it.

 

Topic? Oh, yes, I was raised in the Midwest and agree that the rule is no relative should host a shower of any kind because it looks greedy. In the Duggars' case, that is because it is greedy so I guess at least that is in synch.

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If I were Derek's coworker or church member or friend of his mother, etc, I'd be absolutely outraged to be asked to donate money or a gift that was going to a mission. Especially if I was the type of person who was already doing donations like that. I would want to buy the new baby of my friend or my friend's son an actual baby gift. I can always buy an outfit for a one year old.

But that's me.

I can understand where you're coming from.

For me, I'm not sure this would bother me. It all depends on who the shower is for. If it's someone I'm close to I'd just do both, donate and buy a gift.

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Sure, get that buying actual baby gifts can be fun for a shower, BUT in this case we are talking about millionaires who come from a family of 19 siblings. They can definitely purchase anything they might need (that can't be passed down from Mechelle).

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My mom threw my baby shower. She put on the invites that it was being thrown by my sisters, but really they had nothing to do with it. my mom is a bit of a control freak.

I bet there is a 4th Duggar baby shower too. Jana can do all of the work & Mechelle can take the credit (& share in the gifts!)

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If I knew Jill or Derrick, and I was asked to a shower or to host one for them, and I was really uncomfortable and it would make me resentful, I'd either decline politely or come up with a compromise/alternative...just as I'd try to do with anyone else.

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I think one baby shower would have sufficed for Jill...she was just married and had numerous gifts sent to her; she is also from a wealthy family and doesn't need anything "given" to her...and earns her own money now from TLC and the interviews, etc...she is not in need. I understand a baby shower isn't exclusively for someone "in need", but a loving gesture to welcome the baby. That is why I think ONE shower would have sufficed. Absolutely everyone you know, whether it be close or casual, doesn't have to host or give you a baby gift...JMHO.

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I think one baby shower would have sufficed for Jill...she was just married and had numerous gifts sent to her; she is also from a wealthy family and doesn't need anything "given" to her...and earns her own money now from TLC and the interviews, etc...she is not in need. I understand a baby shower isn't exclusively for someone "in need", but a loving gesture to welcome the baby. That is why I think ONE shower would have sufficed. Absolutely everyone you know, whether it be close or casual, doesn't have to host or give you a baby gift...JMHO.

That's the point I was trying to get across in my post about church members donating in place of a gift. Why not donate the baby gifts to someone that needs them much more than Jerick? The Catholic church in my community does this. Every few months they "throw a baby shower" asking for donations of baby & children's items for homeless shelters. Ben's old warehouse must be bursting at the seams with baby items. At least they are keeping UPS, Fed ex & the post office in business with the delivery of gifts from all their fans. This will go on for months after Dilly is born. Like I said before, GREED, GREED, GREED!!!

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Sure, get that buying actual baby gifts can be fun for a shower, BUT in this case we are talking about millionaires who come from a family of 19 siblings. They can definitely purchase anything they might need (that can't be passed down from Mechelle).

Doesn't matter.  If I am friends with a millionaire I still want to buy them gifts. They can donate their own money. 

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I think its tacky for them not to donate gifts along with having multiple showers because they are d list celebrities and very wealthy

And they are supposed to be Christian missionaries...yeah right. How christian of you. How about you donate 100K diapers to a pregnancy center instead of standing out side of it holding signs of chopped up fetuses. 

 

In my area- Chicago burbs- immediate family hosts any and all showers. Thats the norm. I wouldn't have to have my ( or be in a) bridal party pay for a shower...

Edited by yogi2014L
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I guess part of my issue is that I have been living in Fairfax County, Va, and at least a couple of my friends are millionaires, (not the children of millionaires) and they are not in need of anything, but it is still fun to get together to celebrate a baby coming. We aren't usually having showers where you smell the melted candy bar in the diaper, but if that's the kind of shower the mother wanted, we do it in good fun. I think all babies should be welcomed, and in our culture, that's done with showers and gifts. I'm fine with that.

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I guess part of my issue is that I have been living in Fairfax County, Va, and at least a couple of my friends are millionaires, (not the children of millionaires) and they are not in need of anything, but it is still fun to get together to celebrate a baby coming. We aren't usually having showers where you smell the melted candy bar in the diaper, but if that's the kind of shower the mother wanted, we do it in good fun. I think all babies should be welcomed, and in our culture, that's done with showers and gifts. I'm fine with that.

But they are not celebrities having their showers published in magazines. And I doubt they are having multiple showers. Some celebrities do a big public shower with all the gifts donated- that would be the appropriate thing to do in these cases. . I am sure celebrities also have a smaller NON publicized showers with friends and family. 

 

Showing off your showers and not using their fame for a good cause IMO is the truly tacky part about all of this. JIMO :)

 

Also , I really feel like reality is going to slap these two in the face once Dilly comes. Especially if Jill has a c-section and is basically housebound and cant drive/ ect. She wouldn't be able to hunt down MEchelle when gma goes crazy and kidnaps the baby.

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