Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[SMama]

17 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

At the moment I'm cutting Derick some slack on that. He was a brand new father, hadn't been married even a year yet, and I think he was likely still in a "honeymoon" phase with not just his wife but his huge new family by marriage. I think that he and Jill were swept up in fast-moving events when that news broke, and that JB/Meech and their advisor (Chad?) were large and in charge of what was happening inside the family.

Derick said on SHP that he had not known about the molestations even after becoming engaged to Jill. The edit left open, to me, the possibility that after their marriage he was told something about it. Or that learned about it only when the news broke. If the latter is the case, that's one more disrupting thing that was going on with him amid all that chaos. 

I hope that Jill's book will lay out the timeline of their experiences with some insight into their thinking along the way, from their courtship to finally fighting with JB for Jill's compensation for all those years appearing on the show.

It's absolutely possible that Derick is a cold grasping arse who was fine with watching his wife destroy herself with the Kelly interview, and was totally motivated by money when he took on JB a few years later.

I think it's also possible that in the spring of 2015 when his family was swept up in the tsunami of Joshgate, he was still finding his feet as a husband and father and focused on helping his wife get through the crisis, hour by hour as things unfolded. Jill was conditioned literally from birth to respond to her parents with "instant obedience" (a direct quote from Meech). While technically her new "headship" was Derick, it was clear that JB was in charge of the family especially as to the TV show. I hope Jill's book sheds light on how much she shared at that time with Derick, her reluctance to do that horrible interview. Did she just keep sweet at the time so he didn't even realize how awful it was for her? 

I don't know. Maybe we'll find out more. 

Add the botched surgery to everything that was going on at the time.

[GeeGolly]

36 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

At the moment I'm cutting Derick some slack on that. He was a brand new father, hadn't been married even a year yet, and I think he was likely still in a "honeymoon" phase with not just his wife but his huge new family by marriage. I think that he and Jill were swept up in fast-moving events when that news broke, and that JB/Meech and their advisor (Chad?) were large and in charge of what was happening inside the family.

For sure, he may not have realized the machine he was caught up in yet.

For me to cut Derick some evolutionary slack he would need to publicly apologize for all the hate he spewed toward the LGBTQ+ community when he was angry at JB and TLC. Until then, he gets none from me.

[SnapHappy]

If you aren't man enough to face down your wife's father in a situation involving her sexual abuse, TV cameras and life-long humiliation, you have no business being married and having a child. 

He was a 25 year-old college graduate, not some sheltered teen.

He did NOTHING to protect his wife, and will always be a scumbag in my eyes for that.   

Edited July 14, 2023 by SnapHappy

[lascuba]

6 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Thank you @jcbrown, you explained my thoughts better than I did.

Switching gears a bit.

Derick said on SHP about the Kelley interview, "I would not call it voluntary," adds Derick. "Basically being called on to carry out a suicide mission: You're gonna destroy yourself, but we need you to take the fall so you can carry the show forward because the show cannot fail."

I'm wondering why Derick didn't put his headship foot down and and protect Jill then. And why didn't he suggest get therapy at that time to help her through it? Derick had the balls to go up against JB for money, but not when he felt his wife was being forced to "destroy herself"?

Considering the discovery materials during the sisters' trial against the city, Derick is lying his ass off about him and Jill not wanting to do that interview. They were active participants who contacted their PR team themselves with suggestions of what they wanted to say. The idea of accusing an official of accepting a bribe in return for the records was JILL's . She was told no, but JB liked the idea so much he went off script and said it himself.

[Salacious Kitty]

13 minutes ago, lascuba said:

Considering the discovery materials during the sisters' trial against the city, Derick is lying his ass off about him and Jill not wanting to do that interview. They were active participants who contacted their PR team themselves with suggestions of what they wanted to say. The idea of accusing an official of accepting a bribe in return for the records was JILL's . She was told no, but JB liked the idea so much he went off script and said it himself.

I've never heard this before. Is there proof? Jill doesn't seem bright enough to come up with something like that. 

[Stevie Nicks]

They're on the road going somewhere. And Jill honey, that's too much information. 

[SMama]

12 minutes ago, Stevie Nicks said:

They're on the road going somewhere. And Jill honey, that's too much information. 

This is why happens when your parents irresponsibly breed, then sell every intimate moment of your life to make themselves rich and avoid an honest day’s work. Jill has no boundaries because every second of her life and the life of her siblings was fair game to whore them for money. Shiny Happy Child Trafficking People.

[GeeGolly]

Is this their first vacation since Derick started his recent job?

And yea, TMI Jill. No one needs to see your breast milk. Especially when your pushing your book in the next slide. Thank goodness she doesn't sell Plexus.

[Zella]

Do any of y'all remember when Jill posted about giving her dog her breastmilk? I sure do, and as with many things about the Duggars, I bitterly resent my mind choosing to retain that. 

[GeeGolly]

8 minutes ago, Zella said:

Do any of y'all remember when Jill posted about giving her dog her breastmilk? I sure do, and as with many things about the Duggars, I bitterly resent my mind choosing to retain that. 

Thanks for reminding us. 🤣 And IIRC it was expired breast milk. 😬 

[Zella]

11 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Thanks for reminding us. 🤣 And IIRC it was expired breast milk. 😬 

You're welcome. If I must suffer, I want to bring you all down with me. 😂😂😂😂😂

I'd forgotten it was expired, but I believe you're right! 

Edited July 14, 2023 by Zella

[lascuba]

3 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

I've never heard this before. Is there proof? Jill doesn't seem bright enough to come up with something like that. 

It's part of the court documents that were released to the media after the judge dismissed the case. The emails around that time were part of discovery and there was back and forth between Jill and the PR guy. I'll try to find the transcripts.

[Salacious Kitty]

6 minutes ago, lascuba said:

It's part of the court documents that were released to the media after the judge dismissed the case. The emails around that time were part of discovery and there was back and forth between Jill and the PR guy. I'll try to find the transcripts.

Thanks! This is totally new information for me. 😃

[auntieminem]

Jill posted in her IG story a thank you to the writer who helped (wrote) the book.  It is a nice nod. I had looked him up before and he has lots of experience so they were fortunate. Hopefully the story will be less confusing than when they tell it.  

https://www.instagram.com/stories/jillmdillard/3146865838120995803/

[CalicoKitty]

3 hours ago, Zella said:

You're welcome. If I must suffer, I want to bring you all down with me. 😂😂😂😂😂

I'd forgotten it was expired, but I believe you're right! 

And had a discussion about how bad that was for poor Fena.

[auntieminem]

I am not sure it was expired, it was frozen and had been in the freezer for a long time. So it would not be harmful but maybe lose some nutritional value and taste.  I buy fermented goats milk (it comes frozen and is for dogs and cats). I give it to my dog everyday.  

Edited July 14, 2023 by auntieminem

[Minivanessa]

4 hours ago, lascuba said:

It's part of the court documents that were released to the media after the judge dismissed the case. The emails around that time were part of discovery and there was back and forth between Jill and the PR guy. I'll try to find the transcripts.

Was the "PR Guy" Chad Gallagher? Gallagher was JB's PR advisor. In SHP Jill said Chad was brought in right away by JB in 2015 when Joshgate I hit, to figure out damage control. 

Or did Jill "bring in" her own "PR guy" - IOW someone else - in preparation for the interview? If she talked to Gallagher, or exchanged emails with him, she didn't have to bring him in. He was already there. Working for her father.

Edited July 15, 2023 by Jeeves

[Tdoc72]

4 hours ago, lascuba said:

It's part of the court documents that were released to the media after the judge dismissed the case. The emails around that time were part of discovery and there was back and forth between Jill and the PR guy. I'll try to find the transcripts.

I hope you find them. But if she’s really making up a story (AKA lying), it’s going to make me think less of her, trauma or not. I understand her being mad and hurt about it all coming out, but blatantly making up a story about someone is wrong. 

[Salacious Kitty]

36 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Was the "PR Guy" Chad Gallagher? Gallagher was JB's PR advisor. In SHP Jill said Chad was brought in right away by JB in 2015 when Joshgate I hit, to figure out damage control. 

Or did Jill "bring in" her own "PR guy" - IOW someone else - in preparation for the interview? If she talked to Gallagher, or exchanged emails with him, she didn't have to bring him in. He was already there. Working for her father.

If we're talking 2015, and I think we are, then I imagine Jill was still aligned with her father and used Gallagher. 

[lascuba]

3 hours ago, Jeeves said:

Was the "PR Guy" Chad Gallagher? Gallagher was JB's PR advisor. In SHP Jill said Chad was brought in right away by JB in 2015 when Joshgate I hit, to figure out damage control. 

Or did Jill "bring in" her own "PR guy" - IOW someone else - in preparation for the interview? If she talked to Gallagher, or exchanged emails with him, she didn't have to bring him in. He was already there. Working for her father.

Yes, it was Chad (or someone else employed by JB), not someone she brought in. The emails were in preparation for the interview, discussing what they would say, etc. 

[GeeGolly]

I will always believe Jill was devastated when the police report was publicized, so I thought from the get go she willingly participated in the Kelly interview, not so much to defend Josh, but to share her outrage around the poorly redacted report. But I also believed her now, when she said she felt forced to do it. Now I don't know what to believe.

IMO, Jill has never had anyone supporting her that only has her best interests at heart. Everyone around her has competing interests. JB wanting to defend his son and keep the show on and control the money. Derick, first fully enveloped in the Duggar machine and fame and then fighting with JB and then also wanting to repair his image.

Jill said in her deposition that she wanted to repair her relationship with JB. Maybe since then they have tried and failed but I don't get the motivation behind this book, other than to make Derick look good.

Maybe the book will reveal the reasons behind it, but if JB withholding the kids' money is their biggest and/or only problem with JB, then IMO, this book might end up revealing how much Derick is very much like his FIL. If that is true, then the Dillards missed the mark of learning any lessons during this feud and it makes me feel bad for Jill and her boys.

[Minivanessa]

It will be interesting to see what light the book sheds on the Kelly interview. I also believe she didn't want to do it, and that she was devastated (still is) by the release of the police report. If she worked with JB's PR guy to prepare for the interview, then we know she was able to prepare for it. Not wanting to do something doesn't rule out preparing for it. Maybe she's a brilliant actress and was faking those tears during the interview, or maybe they were genuine expressions of how distraught she was about the situation. (As she sat next to her smug sister Jessa  telling the world how "sly" their brother was.)

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Maybe the book will reveal the reasons behind it, but if JB withholding the kids' money is their biggest and/or only problem with JB, then IMO, this book might end up revealing how much Derick is very much like his FIL. If that is true, then the Dillards missed the mark of learning any lessons during this feud and it makes me feel bad for Jill and her boys.

It's possible that Jill and Derick each have their own problems and issues with JB, and those two sets aren't identical although I'm sure they overlap.

Jill made some comments in SHP about how her family environment was controlling, no room was given for a person's individual thoughts, wishes, etc, and that not just obedience but complete agreement was required, while disagreement on anything at all was equivalent to disrespect (and from the context, rebellion although I don't think that word was said). Except for a comment by Jill that the IBLP's beliefs about control appealed to her dad, or men like her dad, she didn't call out JB specifically in those comments. From the context it was clear she (and Derick who chimed in at one point) was referring to how her parents ran the family. Both Jill and Derick also said that they had definitely not wanted her labor and delivery filmed for the show, nor had they wanted to interrupt their assigned stay in Central America to fly home for show tapings, but in both cases were overruled. I didn't get the idea their problem with that was lack of payment, but was lack of control over important aspects of their lives.  (ETA the issue of payment came up when she said they asked for reimbursement for their out of pocket costs for Izzy's birth afterwards. From the context it seemed it was a matter of "we hadn't wanted it on the show but went along when told we had to do it, so we asked for that reimbursement of our costs.")

I cringed and then cracked up over the breast milk post. Jill's being Jill. 

Hey, she's out of the cult. Probably because JB made a HUGE mistake in shoving a potential spouse at her who wasn't in IBLP or Vision Forum or the IFB in general. She's married to a lawyer working a job as an entry-level deputy DA in a small Oklahoma town, living in a subdivision and not a compound. I wish she weren't homeschooling her kids and I hope Derick sees to it the kids get better educations than that. Some people loathe him. Some loathe her. Some hate them both.

Life is messy and complicated, and I think the Dillards may be the prime example of that among the Duggar kidults. Except for Jinger the rest have remained solidly in JB's orbit, probably including financial control for many of them, as far as I can tell from available information. Although the one who married Hilary Claire Spivey is over in Texas. Jill made a passing reference in SHP to problems (strains?) developing within the family at some point and I believe reports that some of the kidults weren't in lockstep with JB as to J'inmate's trial. 

If the absolutely main or ONLY reason that Jill and Derick went up against JB was for the money? They hit the sonovabitch - HARD - right where it hurt him the most. So even if you hate them as human beings, I hope they get some respect for that. A thought to savor for the weekend, and I hope everyone has a good one.

 

Edited July 15, 2023 by Jeeves

[GeeGolly]

28 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

If the absolutely main or ONLY reason that Jill and Derick went up against JB was for the money? They hit the sonovabitch - HARD - right where it hurt him the most. So even if you hate them as human beings, why criticize them for that? A thought to savor for the weekend, and I hope everyone has a good one.

For me personally I don't hate Jill, at all. Also for me personally, I've never criticized the Dillards for getting Jill's overdue pay.

What I have criticized is Derick's countless lies, Derick's hate filled SM posts and the way the Dillards went about making this money feud public.

And my biggest criticism of all is the way, IMO, Derick is manipulating Jill to keep his unearned heroism going strong.

[Minivanessa]

Sorry about my original wording in the last para of my post. I was editing it simultaneously as you were responding. I wasn't directing my comment at you personally. I respect your contributions and opinions, and apologize if anything I posted appeared targeted at you in any unfavorable way. 

I don't think we see eye to eye about Derick, but these differences make life, and online discussions, interesting. Thanks for being civil and thoughtful and articulate!

[GeeGolly]

3 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Sorry about my original wording in the last para of my post. I was editing it simultaneously as you were responding. I wasn't directing my comment at you personally. I respect your contributions and opinions, and apologize if anything I posted appeared targeted at you in any unfavorable way. 

I don't think we see eye to eye about Derick, but these differences make life, and online discussions, interesting. Thanks for being civil and thoughtful and articulate!

Back atcha.

[Meow Mix]

My feeling about the back and forth emails between Jill and JB's PR guy is that once she agreed to do the interview, she corresponded with him to prepare.  That is not the same as bringing him in or seeking to do the interview in the first place.  Jill could have done it reluctantly, but once she agreed, she figured she had better be prepared.  I think she was humiliated by the whole thing because she believed the purity junk she had been fed her whole life.  I don't think at the time she understood that what the felon did was not her fault and that she wasn't a used Kleenex or already chewed gum like she had been told.

As for her breast milk post, I agree that this is Jill.  It's also a lot of others in her generation who share all sorts of odd minutia about themselves on social media.  Maybe when she looks back on this in a few years she will cringe.  

[floridamom]

Yes, TMI regarding the breast pumping. I could due quite well without having to know about this.

[lascuba]

I think Jill might have felt some moral obligation to do the Kelly interview but I don't think she was forced. She wasn't just trying to prepare...she kept going back and forth with the crisis manager, insisting that they should accuse someone of taking a bribe. She regrets the interview due to the backlash, and maybe more now due to whatever she's learned since then, but I genuinely do not believe that she was coerced in any way to do that interview.  But I willingly admit to never liking Jill and Derick, so I'll never take what they say at face value without a whole lot of hard evidence.

I'll just never forget her behavior in that sexual abuse special they did to try to mitigate the backlash from the Kelly interview. She was pissed about being there....THAT is where she was coerced, I think.

[GeeGolly]

[jcbrown]

12 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Beige, of course.

[GeeGolly]

26 minutes ago, jcbrown said:

Beige, of course.

And "sweet friend".

[sagittarius sue]

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

And "sweet friend".

And always having to mention boy mama.

[Gemma Violet]

On 7/14/2023 at 6:10 AM, SMama said:

Add the botched surgery to everything that was going on at the time.

Not only Derick's botched jaw surgery, but he was also constantly throwing up at that time and they couldn't find the cause of it.  It was covered in one of the episodes.  

[SnapHappy]

A nine year-old boy in teddy bear PJ's.  And matching his 6 year-old brother.

The infantilization of the offspring continues. 

Maybe next year their jammies will sport bunnies or duckies.

[dargosmydaddy]

1 hour ago, SnapHappy said:

A nine year-old boy in teddy bear PJ's.

He's eight (not that this necessarily negates your point... I'm not sure what the cutoff for teddy bear pj's is... but just in case anyone else is going, as I did, "Holy shit, Israel is nine already?!"... no, not until next April).

[dariafan]

2 hours ago, SnapHappy said:

A nine year-old boy in teddy bear PJ's.  And matching his 6 year-old brother.

The infantilization of the offspring continues. 

Maybe next year their jammies will sport bunnies or duckies.

Poor Izzy … ( I however would love duckie pjs. But I am not an 8 year old little boy ) 

[zenme]

I mean, they’re cute…but my nine year old nephew wouldn’t wear them. I know if I tried to pick up something like that at Target or something, he’d balk.  I’d wear ‘em!

[lookeyloo]

Kids are different. Some would wear them with no complaints, some would be strong-armed into them, and some other ones would just refuse and parents would not take on that battle.  We figure Israel is one of the first two.

[YupItsMe]

Besides, they’re probably just for the ad and he may never wear them again.

[GeeGolly]

I'm thinking for most 8 year olds teddy jammies would be okay for at home, but not for a sleepover.

[Absolom]

Perhaps I'm glad Israel probably isn't going to public school.  He can avoid being taunted over the posting of teddy bear pjs.  I think grandson, who is 11, last wore teddy bears by around 12 or 13 months.  

[Westiepeach]

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I'm thinking for most 8 year olds teddy jammies would be okay for at home, but not for a sleepover.

I doubt Izzy will be going on any sleepovers anytime soon.

[crazy8s]

Hopefully none with cousin Dax😬

[GeeGolly]

Jill is posting IG stories daily. She is a one woman marketing machine.

[Totally]

My 11 year old would wear them .. he’d think they were adorable, he is very taken with anything cute. I’m hoping that Izzy is the same, or if he doesn’t like them only had to wear them the picture 

[andromeda331]

8 hours ago, Absolom said:

Perhaps I'm glad Israel probably isn't going to public school.  He can avoid being taunted over the posting of teddy bear pjs.  I think grandson, who is 11, last wore teddy bears by around 12 or 13 months.  

If he was going to school I'd feel bad for him that his mom posted a picture of him in teddy bear pjs. It's okay to be 11 years old and still loving teddy bears but that's not something you'd want your classmate to know.

[Salacious Kitty]

9 minutes ago, andromeda331 said:

If he was going to school I'd feel bad for him that his mom posted a picture of him in teddy bear pjs. It's okay to be 11 years old and still loving teddy bears but that's not something you'd want your classmate to know.

How many 8 year olds are on Instagram following Jill? I think Izzy's modeling career is geared towards their mommies. 

Edited July 21, 2023 by Salacious Kitty
Autocorrect didn't want to make Izzy a possessive

[andromeda331]

2 minutes ago, Salacious Kitty said:

How many 8 year olds are on Instagram following Jill? I think Izzy's modeling career is geared towards their mommies. 

Yeah but their mommies might show their kids. "Look at Israel? Isn't he so cute in his teddy pjs?"

[Salacious Kitty]

3 minutes ago, andromeda331 said:

Yeah but their mommies might show their kids. "Look at Israel? Isn't he so cute in his teddy pjs?"

I hope the mommies keep that to themselves and buy or don't buy based on their son's own likes/dislikes. Besides, other than close friends, how would the kids even know it was really Isreal? 

Bottom line: leave the kids out of it and off Instagram for a few more years. 😃

[GeeGolly]

I think showing young kids pictures and videos of their friends and relatives on FB and IG is a thing now. I see it on FB all the time. The moms will comment - JJ misses KK, CC thinks that looks like fun, DD says you guys look silly. I guess its part of "momming it" these days.

I don't think the pj pic will be a problem for Izzy right now because he isn't in school and they've just recently moved. But I suppose this is a good example of why mommy influencers shouldn't use their kids to shill products to the masses, even if the pics are headless or faceless.