Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Zella]

Just to clarify: I think the gift exchange inclusion was keeping up appearances. I don't think Derick is welcome at the TTH and I think Jill is standing with him our of solidarity, which shocks me. But I think she is angry at her parents. 

[JoanArc]

19 minutes ago, Zella said:

I think Derick is steering clear of JB because they have similar personalities--they get pissy and passive aggressive when angry--so he knows what is in store for him in JB's presence.

 I am loving that Jim Bob has no idea how to respond to someone he can’t fully control, and also to someone who has the power to hurt him, at least monetarily. 

 I would also point out that maybe it’s Jill who created and is enforcing the ban.  It’s possible she may be developing a very nascent awareness of what effed up stuff went down during her childhood, and that her cartoonishly simple beliefs are not going to be enough much longer. 

Edited December 26, 2019 by JoanArc

[BitterApple]

I hope that whatever's going on, Jill is okay with it. It makes me sad to think she wanted to spend Christmas with her family and Derick wouldn't allow it. This would've been the perfect year too, with Smuggar and his brood being out of town. 

[Zella]

11 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I hope that whatever's going on, Jill is okay with it. It makes me sad to think she wanted to spend Christmas with her family and Derick wouldn't allow it. This would've been the perfect year too, with Smuggar and his brood being out of town. 

That would make me sad too, but based on the books she's been talking about, I do think she is mad at her parents and probably was fine with not spending Christmas with them. I hope that it doesn't affect her relationship with her siblings since I do think she was genuinely close to some of them, especially the ones she was sister-mom to.

[farmgal4]

On 12/24/2019 at 9:03 PM, Barb23 said:

My husband was the manager of a Rite Aid store out of college.  One year they had various pieces of different artificial Christmas trees laying around so someone got the idea of putting all the pieces together & adding them to the base section of a tree with tape & wire. They added lights, decorations & plenty of garland  & sold it as a Floor Model.  It didn't stay around long & the guy that bought it couldn't  have been happier. 

Is everyone ready for the Dillard's Christmas with Jill yelling "Yay" every few minutes along with asking the boys if they are happy,  if they like their gifts, if they are having fun, etc.? 

She usually asks the boys “Are you excited?” ad nauseam.

[galaxychaser]

After 5 minutes of Jill babbling are you excited. I would seriously snap and snarl NO. I don’t blame Deadwood for hiding in the office/school library. She probably is orbiting around him 2-3 feet away when he is home.

[Growsonwalls]

2 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I hope that whatever's going on, Jill is okay with it. It makes me sad to think she wanted to spend Christmas with her family and Derick wouldn't allow it. This would've been the perfect year too, with Smuggar and his brood being out of town. 

Well in one of the pictures Jeremiah Duggar is sitting with Derick and Sam, so it sounds like Jeremiah spent Christmas with Jill and Derick rather than at TTH. So I don't think Jill is estranged from her whole family, and I also don't think Derick is keeping an edict on who Jill can see. 

[Whyyouneedaname]

6 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Is that a J-boy with Derick and the boys?

It looks like James to me, wasn't he the one in Jill's buddy group. He's also the one that chaperoned while theywere courting.

[GeeGolly]

The fact that J & D weren't at the TTH Christmas makes me believe there is some type of estrangement. But then again, they weren't with Cathy or Dan either.

Part of me thinks that Derick would try and make peace if Jill wanted it, so maybe Jill is onboard.

Can someone on IG show Jill 'concern'? She may actually respond.

[dariafan]

1 hour ago, Growsonwalls said:

Well in one of the pictures Jeremiah Duggar is sitting with Derick and Sam, so it sounds like Jeremiah spent Christmas with Jill and Derick rather than at TTH. So I don't think Jill is estranged from her whole family, and I also don't think Derick is keeping an edict on who Jill can see. 

I don’t blame them for not wanting to be at the mad house !

[ouinason]

I said this on Jessa's thread, but I don't think it's a huge problem that Jill has pulled back from her family on a large scale.  Sometimes that's what you have to do for your sanity.

 

My husband was please when we left our home state, in part, because it helped me pull back from my family.  We love my family, but it's a lot, and they expect a level of day to day involvement that is just not good for me.  Some of us younger ones have been able to pull back and stay close and even find a middle way, I can't.  I sort of admire Jill for being that close and still having an independence.

[Tikichick]

47 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

The fact that J & D weren't at the TTH Christmas makes me believe there is some type of estrangement. But then again, they weren't with Cathy or Dan either.

Part of me thinks that Derick would try and make peace if Jill wanted it, so maybe Jill is onboard.

Can someone on IG show Jill 'concern'? She may actually respond.

The fact they were seemingly apart from both families makes me lean further into the thought that Derrick may just be a malcontent type of personality.  There have been plenty of serious changes of direction, yet all seem to fall by the wayside rather quickly.

[BetyBee]

17 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

The fact they were seemingly apart from both families makes me lean further into the thought that Derrick may just be a malcontent type of personality.  There have been plenty of serious changes of direction, yet all seem to fall by the wayside rather quickly.

I don't have a problem with a young family making their own holiday traditions. I doubt the folks at the TTH would even notice they're gone. But Cathy would. 

[Tikichick]

25 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

I don't have a problem with a young family making their own holiday traditions. I doubt the folks at the TTH would even notice they're gone. But Cathy would. 

I don't have a problem with a young family making their own holiday traditions.  In a household where you have two young children who are not in preschool and spend most of their days home with a mom who seems rather lost, lonely and quite likely depressed maybe the traditions could have happened outside their walls somewhat and involved his mother and brother or possibly some friends from church or something.   

[dargosmydaddy]

2 hours ago, Whyyouneedaname said:

It looks like James to me, wasn't he the one in Jill's buddy group. He's also the one that chaperoned while theywere courting.

That's not James, but yes, he was Jill's buddy and chaperone. He hasn't appeared with Jill for quite a while, which makes me sad. He's frequently pictured holding other nieces and nephews (including Garrett in the Duggar pictures from yesterday); he'd probably be great with Sam and Izzy and could maybe give Jill some needed childcare help. But no...

[fonfereksglen]

Good for these two for attempting to live an independent life.  Something they might have achieved in DA if TLC had not foot the bill for all the unnecessary visits from family. And travel to endless weddings and such back in the States.

As an aside, would love to see any of these Duggar husbands or wives deal with what is the norm for military spouses. That is, dealing with everyday life alone, in a strange place, while spouse is on duty elsewhere.

[drafan]

On 12/24/2019 at 1:13 PM, MsJamieDornan said:

 I also remember that the top part of the tree looked like it belonged to a different tree,

Awwww......(for all you "Middle " fans out there)...that would be a Sue Sue Heck Xmas tree.

[yogi2014L]

JIll's haircut is great.

Jill putting her kids in danger, not so great. I honestly wonder if Derrick is upset and embarrassed by this. There had to be backlash on IG. I am a parent and I was honestly horrified. You can get a catastrophic brain injury from falling out of a golf cart, skateboard, bike ect. A car is no different. And toddlers aren't known for their listening, critical thinking or self control, so what if Izzy wanted to lean out the window and he fell? Even if the car was going 2 mph, he could have gotten seriously injured. I probably wouldn't have been as horrified ( but I still would not do it) if the kids were older and had more control/ability to listen. Sam is only 2!! 

I would be mortified that not only I am married to someone who actively endangers my kids, but also posts it on social media. The whole post was so juvenile and lacking in any sort of maturity that you would expect from someone in her 30's 

 

[Temperance]

Jill is 28, but otherwise I agree with @yogi2014L. 

 

[ginger90]

[Sew Sumi]

The brink of sanity? I think that's a wee bit exaggerated.

[JustRosie]

4 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

☕️ ☕️ ☕️ 

[yogi2014L]

1 minute ago, Sew Sumi said:

The brink of sanity? I think that's a wee bit exaggerated.

I don't know, the Duggar family is certifiably insane. And they weren't getting paid! They did force Jill to forgive Josh on camera for molesting her. That's enough to make anyone crazy. I think jill had some sort of breakdown

 

[Christina87]

5 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

The brink of sanity? I think that's a wee bit exaggerated.

Omg he sounds JUST like a really dramatic ex that I had. He would make the biggest deal out of everything, and then end up repeating the "horrible" events that he had been a part of. Guess they weren't that bad, then! So over the top. He bought me a book once that had "I love you" printed a million times. I don't see Derick being the big gesture person, so this overly dramatic reply makes me see another side of his personality. 

[JoanArc]

5 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

The brink of sanity? I think that's a wee bit exaggerated.

 To Jill  it was all probably quite sane. To Derreck, an outsider, it was all likely too much.  Of course, he pursued that relationship with the Duggers for years, and basically married a Skype image of the perfect girl. It’s all on him. That post also confirms he’s going to write a drama queen tell all.  When being a lawyer in Arkansas ends up not being all it’s cracked up to be, and the tea is all spilled, what’s going to become their lives then? 

[Sew Sumi]

Boob did give them a house, and I'm sure Jill got a stipend from Boob like the rest of the adults who filmed feature events (ie. Jessa...we know she's getting paid). Jinger also seemed to h have almost $100k laying about to put down on the Laredo house.

Bottom line: they got paid. Maybe not as much as Derelict thinks they deserved, but they got paid.

[BetyBee]

He's on a break from school and stirring sh** on twitter.  Familiar pattern.

[HeyNow]

10 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

The brink of sanity? I think that's a wee bit exaggerated.

I do think he meant the brink of insanity........ but it amuses me to think otherwise.

[JustRosie]

2 minutes ago, JoanArc said:

 To Jill  it was all probably quite sane. To Derreck, an outsider, it was all likely too much.  Of course, he pursued that relationship with the Duggers for years, and basically married a Skype image of the perfect girl. It’s all on him. That post also confirms he’s going to write a drama queen tell all.  When being a lawyer in Arkansas ends up not being all it’s cracked up to be, and the tea is all spilled, what’s going to become their lives then? 

Exactly. They Skyped and then hung out in Nepal for a week or so with JB. They were courting at the end of that week. Then he returns to the US and they get married. He didn’t know the Duggar’s well and probably very little more about Jill. He’s spent the past few years discovering the full scope of what he married into. Full disclosure came after the wedding. Sad. 😞 

[Zella]

2 minutes ago, HeyNow said:

I do think he meant the brink of insanity........ but it amuses me to think otherwise.

Bahahahaha this book is gonna be a literary gem. 

[JoanArc]

10 minutes ago, Namaste said:

Exactly. They Skyped and then hung out in Nepal for a week or so with JB. They were courting at the end of that week. Then he returns to the US and they get married. He didn’t know the Duggar’s well and probably very little more about Jill. He’s spent the past few years discovering the full scope of what he married into. Full disclosure came after the wedding. Sad. 😞 

  Jill recently revealed that they courted for two weeks in Nepal, instead of one, but your point stands. I’m betting Derreck was more shocked about Josh than he let on.  I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t as depressed as Jill, but just  acts it out in a different way. 

 Kind of ironic that Derek will insinuate his family’s mental health is on the brink of collapsing, yeah there is no licensed therapist, psychiatrist, or even qualified pastor to help them out with problems. At least none that we know of. All they seem to have as a wine mama MLM salesman, and maybe a few acquaintances of Derwood’s from school. 

Edited December 27, 2019 by JoanArc

[Trillium]

10 minutes ago, JoanArc said:

  Jill recently revealed that they courted for two weeks in Nepal, instead of one, but your point stands. I’m betting Derreck was more shocked about Josh than he let on.  I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t as depressed as Jill, but just  acts it out in a different way. 

 Kind of ironic that Derek will insinuate his family’s mental health is on the brink of collapsing, yeah there is no licensed therapist, psychiatrist, or even qualified pastor to help them out with problems. At least none that we know of. All they seem to have as a wine mama MLM salesman, and maybe a few acquaintances of Derwood’s from school. 

And their “international friends”. 

[Growsonwalls]

Hmm. Trying to play devil's advocate here ... I can see what Derick means if Jill did indeed have a mental breakdown and the Duggars told her she had to keep filming for TLC. It's very possible. 

I think people have noted that there's something off about Jill. Post-partum depression is possible and I know for a fact that among fundie women it's underreported and undertreated because everyone is supposed to be so thrilled at every "blessing."

I only know this because a high school classmate of mine was very into the fundie lifestyle. She had four kids in like 8 years. She homeschooled her children. She went to a megachurch and Christian rock concerts. But she had a breakdown. She admitted she suffered from severe post-partum depression. She posted a lot of pictures of wine bottles on FB, and I got the feeling she developed a drinking problem.

First thing to go was homeschooling. Second thing to go was staying at home. She said she needed something to do. She went back to school, got her real estate license, and became a realtor. Third thing to go was the religion-only entertainment. She went to regular rock concerts again, the family went to Alaska, after the trip they bought cloth shopping bags as they were so moved by the sight of all the wildlife that was endangered. Today if you go to her social media it's been scrubbed free of any fundie references. It was a long process but she left that life completely.

Not saying Jill has to have such a radical turnaround, but it does seem as if she struggles with being a fundie SAHM. And if she had stayed on TLC, likely that's all she could have ever done. 

[awaken]

Whoa!!  D-wreck is laying it all out there. The family can’t be happy about it. 

Why just the Dillards “on the brink of sanity”, and not everyone else?

which part of filming specifically does he mean, I wonder- in DA attempting to be missionaries, the births, of just in general?

[P2C2E]

39 minutes ago, awaken said:

Whoa!!  D-wreck is laying it all out there. The family can’t be happy about it. 

Why just the Dillards “on the brink of sanity”, and not everyone else?

which part of filming specifically does he mean, I wonder- in DA attempting to be missionaries, the births, of just in general?

Who says it's just them?

We feel like we know them but we only see what they let us. There may be other members of the family that are struggling. They may not be sharing it, or they may not have even realized.

Often it takes leaving an environment to realize how bad and stressful it was for you.

I fully believe that filming negatively affected the Dillards. I'm glad they recognized it and took steps to do better for their family. I'm sure there are many issues at play, but kudos to them for trying to set boundaries that help them to be happier and healthier. 

[JoanArc]

1 hour ago, Trillium said:

And their “international friends”. 

 

[dariafan]

Jim boob strikes me as the type who would give the kids some of the money their earned but make it seem like it was him giving it.  Not that they earned it and he was supposed to give it to them.   Or lie to them about how much they earned 

[Albanyguy]

3 minutes ago, dariafan said:

Or lie to them about how much they earned 

Or help himself to a hefty "management fee" a la Kris Kardashian.

[galaxychaser]

Maybe Cathy and Dan went on vacation? Or visiting other people?

Who knows. I think Sam and Izzy would have enjoyed hanging out with all their cousins at the compound.

[Spencer Hastings]

A lot of reality show personalities have said that filming took a lot out of them emotionally.  The Duggar kids have been doing this most of their lives, but I find it interesting that the Dillards were the only ones willing to step away from filming.  It could be that most of the other spouses were already Duggar adjacents and used to being filmed (or wanted the spotlight...ahem), or it could simply be that Derick and Jill are naturally more emotional.

I could see Jill slowly losing her mind over the course of the year of scandals. Not only having to let it all play out on camera, but also having to rehash it in the THs on camera could be damaging to her already fragile psyche.  We know the woman has the emotional maturity of a 12 year old. Derick is full of it 99% of the time, but I could buy their mental state deteriorating.

[MsJamieDornan]

35 minutes ago, Spencer Hastings said:

I could see Jill slowly losing her mind over the course of the year of scandals. Not only having to let it all play out on camera, but also having to rehash it in the THs on camera could be damaging to her already fragile psyche.  We know the woman has the emotional maturity of a 12 year old. Derick is full of it 99% of the time, but I could buy their mental state deteriorating.

I wonder if Jill was having emotional problems and TLC wanted it all to be shown on camera, or other very personal issues and TLC wanted to film it. And they finally said NO.

[Barb23]

I agree something has happened to change Jill.  She is definitely not the one I would have picked  to leave the family. She was very outgoing  back in the day when they started on TV & was the spokesperson of the kids or at least the older girls. 

[GeeGolly]

7 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Derick is talking out of both sides of his mouth. The original reason he gave for leaving the show was because TLC wouldn't pay their medical bills and he and Jill "weren't being paid". Now he's saying filming was impacting their mental health.

Derick is the one with issues, not Jill. I imagine him sitting at home, internet stalking his in-laws and becoming jealous, and then responding to this post.

Derick is an immature reactive man. Just wait until he loses his first case or screws up his first contract or messes up some type of lawyer/legal thing. He'll hop on IG and misdirect his anger at TLC and the Duggars.

[MsJamieDornan]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Derick is talking out of both sides of his mouth. The original reason he gave for leaving the show was because TLC wouldn't pay their medical bills and he and Jill "weren't being paid". Now he's saying filming was impacting their mental health.

I think it can be all these things and maybe a few more.

[GeeGolly]

29 minutes ago, MsJamieDornan said:

I think it can be all these things and maybe a few more.

I suppose it could. They haven't filmed in two years now and Derick's changing answers always feel angry to me. He would do better by either not answering questions at all, or being straight up with the answers.

[Rabbittron]

You think Derelict will ever pass the bar?

Edited December 27, 2019 by Rabbittron
Damn autocorrect

[BetyBee]

9 hours ago, awaken said:

Whoa!!  D-wreck is laying it all out there. The family can’t be happy about it. 

Why just the Dillards “on the brink of sanity”, and not everyone else?

which part of filming specifically does he mean, I wonder- in DA attempting to be missionaries, the births, of just in general?

Good questions which he will never answer.  He is a vagueposter extraordinaire!

[ozziemom]

1 hour ago, Rabbittron said:

You think Derelict will ever pass the bar?

Yes, I think he will. He isn’t stupid and he seems to spend a lot of time studying. How long will he stick with law as a career is another story.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, ozziemom said:

Yes, I think he will. He isn’t stupid and he seems to spend a lot of time studying. How long will he stick with law as a career is another story.

I agree. (And I’m a licensed attorney)

[Tikichick]

Ironically he could potentially wind up with a very lucrative law practice, if he works hard AND decides to use all of his education.  If he were a CPA the potential would increase even more.  As it is his accounting knowledge and degree combined with a law degree opens up a lucrative path if he decided to take it.  

 

It should also give JB some genuine food for thought in regard to his behavior towards the Dillards and his handling of the family funds.  

 

Edited December 27, 2019 by Tikichick