Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[galaxychaser]

35 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

Ugh!  Derick is gross.  And full of crap.  

Nah he is full of cream of... soup 

[mythoughtis]

5 minutes ago, jammaker said:

Maybe, and I wouldn't fault them for it. Many hospitals are doing away with nurseries and strongly encouraging rooming in with your baby (sometimes giving no other options) even after a c-section.  So when you've just been cut open, still have a catheter, and are on some hefty medications, having another adult there becomes nearly a necessity.

After my last birth, my husband couldn't stay (other kids to take care of) and the nurses only took the baby to the nursery because I had lost too much blood and wasn't allowed to hold him yet. He was the only baby there that night; I was not the only c-section that day.

There are many things wrong with these people, but that I can't judge them for.

I won’t fault him for it if he did- but I just don’t believe he did.  My husband didn’t spend the nights at the hospital after my hysterectomy and additional repairs... nor did I want him too.  Nor did he want me there all night after his prostrate surgery. 

Edited August 22, 2019 by mythoughtis

[CalicoKitty]

Now that I think about it, I did hire a fundy plumber once.  He brought his 15/16 year old son with him as his "gofer".  I just figured it was because the kid was home-schooled and had free time, but now I really think he was there as an accountability person.  Today I had two men working in my garage, and yesterday I had a workman with me all day.  Never gave it a second thought.  I just can't understand being so distrustful.  It is very sad.

[Oldernowiser]

3 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

So do they check with each other or what?  Seems like a lack of communication happened.

If that's his starting point, where do they go from there? Maybe he's working up to several times/day... 

Well, technically, he didn’t say whether that was alone or with HoneyBabySnookums, so...

[galaxychaser]

For eternity every time I will see Jilly gummy face I will laugh hysterically. Her sex guru stuff is priceless.

[coconspirator]

I don't know...am I the only one who got a distinct sense of trolling or tongue in cheek humor with Derick's post? Especially with his specific emphasis on being "joyfully available," it was almost like he was taking a bit of a shot at JB and Michelle's lectures on that being the wife's expectation.  I think he very deliberately cribbed her original post, changed the pronouns, and made the point that, unlike his in-laws, he sees men and women as equally responsible for taking care of each other in a marriage. I hate to defend Derick but...there ya go.

Edited August 22, 2019 by coconspirator

[Madtown]

8 hours ago, galaxychaser said:

https://people.com/tv/jill-duggar-husband-derick-shares-tips-loving-wife-right-good-sex/

I think this is the most disturbing part of the article...

Derick also stressed how crucial it is to “never allow your wife to think you’re her father.”

“Whether it’s making demands, expecting her to keep the house spotless, or telling her to get off her phone…if she says ‘I feel like you’re my father when you…,’ then pay attention to that and ask her what you can to do change/how to handle the situation the next time!” he advised.

Never once in my 22 years of marriage have I thought my husband was my father nor did he ever give me a reason to think that! I have never told Mr Madtown that he's acting as if he is my dad nor has he ever said that I'm acting like a mother to him. Seems like Derick has made Jill feel that way because I can't imagine why this would ever be brought up..

[ginger90]

[Jynnan tonnix]

2 hours ago, Madtown said:

I think this is the most disturbing part of the article...

Derick also stressed how crucial it is to “never allow your wife to think you’re her father.”

“Whether it’s making demands, expecting her to keep the house spotless, or telling her to get off her phone…if she says ‘I feel like you’re my father when you…,’ then pay attention to that and ask her what you can to do change/how to handle the situation the next time!” he advised.

Never once in my 22 years of marriage have I thought my husband was my father nor did he ever give me a reason to think that! I have never told Mr Madtown that he's acting as if he is my dad nor has he ever said that I'm acting like a mother to him. Seems like Derick has made Jill feel that way because I can't imagine why this would ever be brought up..

This. I found it very telling as well. 

The part that really amused me and highlighted how plagiarized it was, though, was toward the end where it talked about (if I recall correctly, I was really skimming by then) letting her know you missed her when she comes home, or words to that effect. Given that he stresses how they have never spent a night apart and she does not have a job, where does she have to be for long enough that he will ever have the chance to miss her? Because if he's supposed to be that effusive every time she comes home from lunch at the TTH, or a trip to the store, they really are working way too hard at marriage. That would feel positively stifling!

[mythoughtis]

3 hours ago, Madtown said:

I think this is the most disturbing part of the article...

Derick also stressed how crucial it is to “never allow your wife to think you’re her father.”

“Whether it’s making demands, expecting her to keep the house spotless, or telling her to get off her phone…if she says ‘I feel like you’re my father when you…,’ then pay attention to that and ask her what you can to do change/how to handle the situation the next time!” he advised.

Never once in my 22 years of marriage have I thought my husband was my father nor did he ever give me a reason to think that! I have never told Mr Madtown that he's acting as if he is my dad nor has he ever said that I'm acting like a mother to him. Seems like Derick has made Jill feel that way because I can't imagine why this would ever be brought up..

I had the opposite reaction. This was the only part of the article where I applauded him. I felt he was acknowledging that the patriarchal headship philosophy they all follow could be stifling to females. I thought he was cautioning men to quit treating their wives the same way they treated their children. 

Edited August 22, 2019 by mythoughtis

[dariafan]

10 hours ago, coconspirator said:

I don't know...am I the only one who got a distinct sense of trolling or tongue in cheek humor with Derick's post? Especially with his specific emphasis on being "joyfully available," it was almost like he was taking a bit of a shot at JB and Michelle's lectures on that being the wife's expectation.  I think he very deliberately cribbed her original post, changed the pronouns, and made the point that, unlike his in-laws, he sees men and women as equally responsible for taking care of each other in a marriage. I hate to defend Derick but...there ya go.

Even a broken clock is right 2 a day:)

Edited August 22, 2019 by dariafan
Autocorrect HATES me

[Zella]

I think the father stuff is also just plagiarized. Jill's stuff also talked about not treating your husband like he's your dad and not treating him like you're his mom.

Edited August 22, 2019 by Zella

[coconspirator]

7 hours ago, Madtown said:

I think this is the most disturbing part of the article...

Derick also stressed how crucial it is to “never allow your wife to think you’re her father.”

“Whether it’s making demands, expecting her to keep the house spotless, or telling her to get off her phone…if she says ‘I feel like you’re my father when you…,’ then pay attention to that and ask her what you can to do change/how to handle the situation the next time!” he advised.

Never once in my 22 years of marriage have I thought my husband was my father nor did he ever give me a reason to think that! I have never told Mr Madtown that he's acting as if he is my dad nor has he ever said that I'm acting like a mother to him. Seems like Derick has made Jill feel that way because I can't imagine why this would ever be brought up..

Jill has a section in her post about not making your husband feel like you’re his mother; Derick just flipped it. Plus, I do think “headship” implies a sort of father role (boss) over your wife. I think it’s more likely Jill is having to unlearn lessons from her nutty family.

Edited August 22, 2019 by coconspirator

[crazy8s]

so repress all sexual thoughts in your children and the Duggar's have Josh unable to control sexual desires and apparently Jill is so focused on sex enough to post about it.

Someone a while back posted where the other marrieds/kidaults said jill and derrick were the most over the top on PDAs.  that makes more sense now

I am starting to wonder if that child proof lock on the "office" door is because the closet hides a murphy bed, the sex books and supplies...

[Suzn]

I really don't want to think about these idiot's sex life and yet here I am writing more about it...

Here's another thing that doesn't add up.  Apparently others notice lots of PDA with them and we have been subjected to far too many pictures of them kissing, so why do those pictures look utterly without passion?

 Somehow they are too dumb to realize that we recognize that Derick plagiarized Jill's post.  There is awkward phrasing that I had complained about, picked up word for word by Derick, not to mention that it's been suggested that Jill plagiarized someone else.  

I need to stop this scrutiny, so I'll stop with this.  What on earth would give them the idea that they are marriage and sex experts who are qualified to pass along their wisdom?

[Westiepeach]

14 minutes ago, Suzn said:

I need to stop this scrutiny, so I'll stop with this.  What on earth would give them the idea that they are marriage and sex experts who are qualified to pass along their wisdom?

Well, they apparently had sex twice. They are The Experts now.

[galaxychaser]

They kiss like first cousins or something. No desire or spark.

They are the experts because Jill watched daddy hump mommy in public plenty of times.

[xwordfanatik]

1 hour ago, crazy8s said:

so repress all sexual thoughts in your children and the Duggar's have Josh unable to control sexual desires and apparently Jill is so focused on sex enough to post about it.

Someone a while back posted where the other marrieds/kidaults said jill and derrick were the most over the top on PDAs.  that makes more sense now

I am starting to wonder if that child proof lock on the "office" door is because the closet hides a murphy bed, the sex books and supplies...

Whips, chains, and dildos.  Perfect for the Dillweeds.  

[Mindthinkr]

2 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

Whips, chains, and dildos.  Perfect for the Dillweeds.  

I was thinking a ball gag for Derrick (named like that because he probably has the rhythm of an oil one) and because then she wouldn’t have to hear him speak. A blindfold for her. Now that’s the speak no evil monkey, the see no evil monkey so how about a sound proofed room so nobody has to hear their evil deeds? 

[jukie]

As they say (whoever 'they' are) that you never know what happens behind closed doors.  These two may well be going at it like two teenagers when the parents are away for a weekend....but if I had to guess it's going to be 'Wednesday night sex'  you know where you enjoy it but you go through the motions a bit, nothing too exciting happens and you role over and go to sleep.   It will have none of the passion of being able to make your toes curl, your finger nails bite the inside of your clench fist or the slow meandering sex of a Sunday afternoon where you explore each other and fall asleep in each others arms for an hour or two.

I am now going to invest in the brain bleach to remove these thoughts from my brain.

[Ohiopirate02]

5 minutes ago, jukie said:

As they say (whoever 'they' are) that you never know what happens behind closed doors.  These two may well be going at it like two teenagers when the parents are away for a weekend....but if I had to guess it's going to be 'Wednesday night sex'  you know where you enjoy it but you go through the motions a bit, nothing too exciting happens and you role over and go to sleep.   It will have none of the passion of being able to make your toes curl, your finger nails bite the inside of your clench fist or the slow meandering sex of a Sunday afternoon where you explore each other and fall asleep in each others arms for an hour or two.

I am now going to invest in the brain bleach to remove these thoughts from my brain.

I do get the feeling that these 2 believe in quantity over quality.  If, and this is a big if, they are having sex 5-6 times a week with Derick in law school and the 2 boys, then the sex has got to be perfunctory and rote.  They would rather brag about how many times they have sex a week.  It feels almost like a competition with her siblings perhaps.  Jill probably thinks that insead of popping out blessing #3, she is having sex everday, so take that Jessa, or Anna, etc.

[Steff]

Oh good grief.  Derrick would have lost his mind & Jillbilly would have turn into a babbling ball of tears in a corner if they saw my life earlier this year.   My husband was gone to school for 4 months.  didn't see each other once in that entire time.  I had to hire someone to mow the yard, which involved 7 different yard guys coming over for quotes. Then having them here every 2 weeks...alone.   Hired someone who wasn't a relative to put in a new sink.  Hired 2 guys we know to work on the a/c.  They were in & out of my house for days!  oh the scandal!!!!  Even had a male neighbor (just him, he didn't bring his wife) come help me move furniture.  My adult son's male adult friends would stop by & hang out waiting for him to get home.   Even worse, brace yourselves, my husband gave a woman he was going to school with a ride home several times.  He even had dinner with 3 women ALONE!!!!!! 

I can't imagine being so distrustful of outsiders & my spouse that you don't think they can be alone with a member of the opposite sex.  Even when it's someone you know.  I still don't understand why they all had to move for his summer intern job a couple of hours away.  If it's going to help your career, then Go! I'll hold down the fort & take care of what needs to be done.  You go, get the education/experience & we'll have plenty of time together afterwards.  But they don't trust each other enough.  IMO that's what it's about.  It's not "healthy marriage tips", it's trust.  She doesn't trust him enough to let him out of her sight for more than a couple of hours.  He doesn't trust her to be around any males that aren't family.  Even tho, it's the males in her family that hurt her the most!  She's not mature enough to handle herself & 2 kids for a few days a week on her own.  When she has 40,000 family members as backup.  It boggles the mind. 

[crazy8s]

2 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

Whips, chains, and dildos.  Perfect for the Dillweeds.  

right next to the sticky notes/post its

[Ohiopirate02]

31 minutes ago, Steff said:

Oh good grief.  Derrick would have lost his mind & Jillbilly would have turn into a babbling ball of tears in a corner if they saw my life earlier this year.   My husband was gone to school for 4 months.  didn't see each other once in that entire time.  I had to hire someone to mow the yard, which involved 7 different yard guys coming over for quotes. Then having them here every 2 weeks...alone.   Hired someone who wasn't a relative to put in a new sink.  Hired 2 guys we know to work on the a/c.  They were in & out of my house for days!  oh the scandal!!!!  Even had a male neighbor (just him, he didn't bring his wife) come help me move furniture.  My adult son's male adult friends would stop by & hang out waiting for him to get home.   Even worse, brace yourselves, my husband gave a woman he was going to school with a ride home several times.  He even had dinner with 3 women ALONE!!!!!! 

I can't imagine being so distrustful of outsiders & my spouse that you don't think they can be alone with a member of the opposite sex.  Even when it's someone you know.  I still don't understand why they all had to move for his summer intern job a couple of hours away.  If it's going to help your career, then Go! I'll hold down the fort & take care of what needs to be done.  You go, get the education/experience & we'll have plenty of time together afterwards.  But they don't trust each other enough.  IMO that's what it's about.  It's not "healthy marriage tips", it's trust.  She doesn't trust him enough to let him out of her sight for more than a couple of hours.  He doesn't trust her to be around any males that aren't family.  Even tho, it's the males in her family that hurt her the most!  She's not mature enough to handle herself & 2 kids for a few days a week on her own.  When she has 40,000 family members as backup.  It boggles the mind. 

You bring up a good point that affects many marriages especially military families.  Not everyone has the luxury of spending every night under the same roof as their spouse.  When I was younger, my dad took a new job where he lived in Oklahoma for 3 months before moving to North Carolina and my mom and us kids were still in Ohio.  You can't just drop everything and move a family of 6 for a 3 month stay in one area before settling down to a permanent location.  My dad would fly home when he could, but there were weeks where he was in another state working.  My parents had to sell their house and find a  new one before we could move, and we did not end up moving until the end of the school year.  And my parent's marriage survived this.  Why, because this is what happens in the real world, and my parent's marriage had a firmer foundation than Derick and Jill's.  

[Mindthinkr]

I think more than anything that Jill is very insecure. Didn’t she have a scare in Danger America? Also she may still have nightmares concerning her brother’s bad actions. She has always has her sisters to share a room with and a family member if traveling (like her Dad when they went to meet this joker in Nepal). She needs her husband to be near her to avert any crisis that may arise. She buys gallons of lotion to be joyfully available to keep him interested. The only ones that I’m joyfully available for are my cats to rub them and no lotion is needed. 

[GeeGolly]

The only one who is happy enough to greet me every time I walk in the front door is my granddog. She also greets me when I come up from the basement after switching the laundry. So there's that.

Edited August 23, 2019 by GeeGolly

[lucy711]

19 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

So Derick slept in her room at the hospital every night  she was there after both C-sections? Seriously?  Most fathers want to go home and get a decent night sleep before the baby comes home. 

I do not believe the Duggars or, any parent of two children under 5 when they try to tell me they are having sex 5-6 times a week.  Children are exhausting and most people sleep  instead. 

I understand why adults who work with children and young adults have a second adult around. However, as an adult female, I regularly meet with male coworkers and bosses. If we need the conversation to be private,  we shut the damn door. I have had repairmen at my house for decades  by myself/ none have accosted me yet.  And since these men didn’t bring a chaperone, they were probably not fundamentalist Christian.  Yet we all survived. If a friend ever calls me to ask me to come over to chaperone her repairman, I won’t be able to answer for laughing.  This kind of nonsense is why the Duggars are laughed at. 

Finally - the Duggars are ignoring the ‘blessings from God’ that they claim each child is.  Seems to me they need to look into their hearts. 

I actually think it is nice if Derick slept at the hospital.  My husband did after my c-section because I couldn't get up out of bed by myself and needed him to lift the baby so I could nurse.  The hospital staff assumed he'd stay with me and told him where he could sleep and gave him a pillow and blanket.

I don't believe they are having that much sex.  He should be tired from law school and they should both be tired from having two young kids.  It's one thing to write it on a blog...it's another thing to actually do it.

I also don't ever want to think of these two having sex.  They are maybe the two least sexy people ever.

[Suzn]

1 hour ago, Steff said:

...It's not "healthy marriage tips", it's trust.  She doesn't trust him enough to let him out of her sight for more than a couple of hours.  He doesn't trust her to be around any males that aren't family.  Even tho, it's the males in her family that hurt her the most!  She's not mature enough to handle herself & 2 kids for a few days a week on her own.  When she has 40,000 family members as backup.  It boggles the mind. 

You nailed it.  All that blah, blah, blah is just to paper over deep problems both individually and in the marriage.  They have no business giving others advice.

[Oldernowiser]

12 minutes ago, lucy711 said:

I don't believe they are having that much sex.  He should be tired from law school and they should both be tired from having two young kids.  It's one thing to write it on a blog...it's another thing to actually do it.

So it’s what we in heathen world call “lying.”

These people are so far beyond hypocritical they’re sneaking up on it from the other side.

[3 is enough]

Chuck E Cheese nights with  “the guys”?

WTF?  I assume by “the guys” he was referring to Israel and Sam because I do not know any adult who would willingly go to Chuck E Cheese if there were no children involved.  Of course, if he is worried about temptation I suppose it is a safe place. 🙄

[ginger90]

[BetyBee]

Actually, I am careful about allowing strangers into my home and prefer to schedule vendors for when my husband is home.  When we had a dog, I always answered the door to strangers with my dog in tow.  There are bad people in the world who do mean harm.  However, Derick is only concerned about appearances, not safety.  He and Jill are cautious that their innate sexiness (hah!) not tempt anyone.  🙄

[Ohiopirate02]

42 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

Actually, I am careful about allowing strangers into my home and prefer to schedule vendors for when my husband is home.  When we had a dog, I always answered the door to strangers with my dog in tow.  There are bad people in the world who do mean harm.  However, Derick is only concerned about appearances, not safety.  He and Jill are cautious that their innate sexiness (hah!) not tempt anyone.  🙄

Yeah, my mom always makes sure that I am at the house when someone has to come to fix something.   She doesn't want to be alone with a strange man, and I can take care of myself. 

[louannems]

23 hours ago, doodlebug said:

Point of information:  The IUD doesn't prevent implantation.  That is old and inaccurate information.  Research has shown that women who conceive while an IUD is in place is no more likely to have failure to implant than anyone else.  The fact is that most fertilized eggs fail to implant.  Current thinking is that the IUD sets up a milieu within the uterus that decapacitates sperm, making them unable to fertilize an egg.  Sort of a fancy spermicide.

There has always been a misconception about IUD's and how they work.  They do NOT interfere with eggs that are already fertilized.  

Now I cannot quit picturing swimming tadpole sperms being decapitated!

[farmgal4]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

Someone needs to explain to her the purpose of hashtags.  She is clueless, again.

[dargosmydaddy]

#Iguessspellcheckdoesn'tworkonhashtags #laundryhasa"n"

Edited August 23, 2019 by dargosmydaddy
it's OK Jill, I can't spell, either...

[Sew Sumi]

Laundry is missing the n.

[ginger90]

She changed her shirt for date time.....

[luvbadtv]

3 hours ago, BetyBee said:

Actually, I am careful about allowing strangers into my home and prefer to schedule vendors for when my husband is home.  When we had a dog, I always answered the door to strangers with my dog in tow.  There are bad people in the world who do mean harm.  However, Derick is only concerned about appearances, not safety.  He and Jill are cautious that their innate sexiness (hah!) not tempt anyone.  🙄

It's one thing to do it for safety.  The Dillards don't mention that this is for safety.  It is strictly to prevent an extra-marital affair.  Most of us just aren't thinking of that when the plumber comes over.

[Portia]

Naptime. The clock's ticking, Jill. Better hurry up and ... umm ... take a selfie and upload it to Twitter and append a buttload of stupid hashtags and emojis. How very efficient of you. 

Edited August 23, 2019 by Portia

[galaxychaser]

You should see the plumber my building uses... nope.

[Oldernowiser]

19 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

She changed her shirt for date time.....

Okay, now, thanks to their excessive and icky oversharing, this is just skeevy.

Run along, little horn dogs. Nobody’s impressed that you’re about to have sex.

[JoanArc]

32 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

She changed her shirt for date time.....

I read Der's shirt of 'Intend to Evil'.

Enjoy your sushi/dominoes pizza/marketplace grill/whatever date night breath while your screw, you immodest couple in luv!

[Fallacy]

Why is he still so skinny!? I know it’s stupid, but the number one reason he grosses me out so much is his rail thin frame. He also constantly has deep bags under his eyes and just the general appearance of a half starved man and it bugs me far more than it should. 

I don’t care about their sex lives at all, and I didn’t think all of their marriage tips were that bad (though some were, particularly the ones that indicate a total lack of a trust in a marriage). 

He’s a homophobic jerk with ridiculous “conservative values” (his words, not mine), so I’m not going to like him regardless, but he’s just too damn thin. 

[Sew Sumi]

I still can't get past his thinking that having a healthy marriage is a "conservative value." I think that's the goal of any couple, regardless of politics. 

Dumbass. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

3 hours ago, louannems said:

Now I cannot quit picturing swimming tadpole sperms being decapitated!

That's the way I read (and pictured)  it first time around as well!

[mynextmistake]

1 hour ago, Sew Sumi said:

I still can't get past his thinking that having a healthy marriage is a "conservative value." I think that's the goal of any couple, regardless of politics. 

Dumbass. 

Speak for yourself. My husband and I purpose to have a fractious, miserable marriage full of strife, disloyalty and anger. 

These people are chock full o’ nuts. I don’t understand how they can claim to have a strong marriage when they so clearly have no trust for one another. Jill has to have a friend over so she doesn’t screw the plumber? Derick can’t shut his door at work because he’d end up doing the horizontal mambo on his desk with female colleagues? They can’t spend a night apart or have unfiltered access to Netflix because they might give in to temptation? They have to have weekly date nights or their marriage will disintegrate? Seriously? 

A healthy marriage is built on love, certainly, but it’s also built on trust. You have to be able to have faith that your partner can avoid temptation because your relationship is more important to him/her than a momentary thrill. Without that trust, I can’t imagine how you would keep your relationship strong. Because, over the years, there are going to be times when Derick and Jill are going to have to be apart. Someday the boiler will need to be fixed and Jill won’t be able to find a friend to chaperone, or Derick will have to meet with a female client with his door closed. There will be weekends when he’ll have to work late and won’t be available for sushi and a “marriage video” (whatever fresh hell that is) on YouTube. If they can’t handle even these minor issues, how are they going to handle it when (as, IME anyway, happens at some point in even the strongest relationships) one of them is actually attracted to someone else? 

I just don’t get these people. I’m glad they’re using birth control, though, because I don’t see this marriage surviving the stress a zillion kids would add to it.

[Zella]

9 hours ago, ginger90 said:

What in the everloving fuck is a time clock, Jill, and how is it different from a regular clock that tells time? 

[galaxychaser]

God those 2 are the least sexy people on the planet. Moldy pits and smelly hair is all I see.

[rue721]

Is a “marriage video”...porn?