Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[BitterApple]

12 minutes ago, Marigold said:

 Not having a "child directed" home.  Children should fit with adults, not adults fitting into the child.  

In a weird way I don't disagree with that. It's how I was raised and while I'm sure Jill's crowd takes that to an extreme, I've seen it go too far in the other direction where parents are driving themselves into an early grave catering to the whims of their children. My mom didn't do any baby proofing besides covering outlets and moving breakables out of reach. I don't think Jill is a bad mother because she hasn't transformed her house into Ft. Knox, she just needs to use a little common sense, if that's even possible.

Edited March 2, 2017 by BitterApple

[Love2dance]

I would not want to bet my baby, or terrible two's, life on their being obedient. That sounds like abuse or neglect, at the least.

[SMama]

The problem is Jill lacks common sense.

[Marshmallow Mollie]

35 minutes ago, Marigold said:

Some religious groups don't babyproof or just minimally.

Children are taught to not go up the stairs.  By babyproofing, you aren't teaching immediate obedience. You are letting the child wander and no real obedience is learned. 

Not sure if I explained that well but I'm sure you get the meaning. 

I do recall my IFB church only doing minimal baby proofing.  I believe there was a sermon on it.  Not having a "child directed" home.  Children should fit with adults, not adults fitting into the child.  Or something like that.  

Literally my mouth fell open. I get the idea, but it should be used when developmentally appropriate. Babies and toddlers lack impulse control. Ugh, my heart hurts.

[Minivanessa]

50 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

In a weird way I don't disagree with that. It's how I was raised and while I'm sure Jill's crowd takes that to an extreme, I've seen it go too far in the other direction where parents are driving themselves into an early grave catering to the whims of their children. My mom didn't do any baby proofing besides covering outlets and moving breakables out of reach. I don't think Jill is a bad mother because she hasn't transformed her house into Ft. Knox, she just needs to use a little common sense, if that's even possible.

I dunno about Jill having common sense, but we can hope . . . 

I agree though, there's a happy medium of childproofing plus common sense. Childproof the lower cabinets containing cleaners and other things tiny kids shouldn't be able to grab, remove sharp objects from grabbable heights, cover electric plugs, babygates or closed doors at the top of stairs, etc. And then - common sense supervision.

The bolded comment reminded me of those HGTV and DIY shows where a home was being redecorated or sometimes staged for sale. I lost track of how many times the "before" shots would show an entire large room - living room or dining room - that was totally full of toys. Usually there wasn't even any regular furniture. Just toys.

These weren't "extra bedrooms" or "bonus rooms" upstairs, or even a "family room" off the kitchen at the back of the house. They were in the main shared living areas of the house, which everyone who entered the house would see. And these weren't families with a lot of kids - they almost always had two, or maybe three. Honestly, nobody in my family turns a living or dining room over to toys. There are places for toys to be kept, and kids learn where and how to play inside the house. It ain't that hard. Or, maybe we're the oddballs and most people are like the ones I've seen on TV. I don't know.

EDITED to add: About Iz burning his hand on the hot water dispenser. On reflection and after reading the posts above, I think Jill was referring to the bottled water dispenser stand (somebody posted a photo of that kind of thing) that has a hot water nozzle. It also occurred to me that Iz surely has grown taller since they were last in Central America. Perhaps he was too small to reach that thing when they were there last year, but obviously he's big enough now. It doesn't speak well of Jill or Derick's forethought about making the place safe for Iz. But I'm inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt, if the incident happened just after they arrived. I know that toddlers can move fast, it's possible that Iz just zoomed over and grabbed that red handle. Now if he keeps hurting himself on stuff that J&D shoulda figured out how to prevent, that's another story. . .

Edited March 2, 2017 by Jeeves
Added comment about Iz

[Barb23]

The explanation of the hot water cooler type dispenser makes sense & that's probably what happened.  But I still keep thinking of how that burn must have hurt on Izzy's tender skin.  

Can someone refresh my memory - was Izzy licking the standing fan last year in Danger America or just hugging it?  Either way not safe since it was running at the time.

Just a funny note - when I typed in "last year" in the above sentence, it came out as "masturbation" on my tablet. That stopped me, glad I proofread.  

[WhineandCheez]

Quote

The explanation of the hot water cooler type dispenser makes sense & that's probably what happened.  But I still keep thinking of how that burn must have hurt on Izzy's tender skin.  

YES.  We don't ever want to have to refer to Israel as the "Giant Red  Baby."

[Marshmallow Mollie]

4 minutes ago, Barb23 said:

The explanation of the hot water cooler type dispenser makes sense & that's probably what happened.  But I still keep thinking of how that burn must have hurt on Izzy's tender skin.  

Can someone refresh my memory - was Izzy licking the standing fan last year in Danger America or just hugging it?  Either way not safe since it was running at the time.

Just a funny note - when I typed in "last year" in the above sentence, it came out as "masturbation" on my tablet. That stopped me, glad I proofread.  

"Licking the standing fan masturbation or just hugging it?" BwahahahHah

[Ripley68]

Reading a book on Queen Victoria's Grand Children and came upon this quote from QV  on the birth of her 7th granddaughter that mad me think of Jill and Jessa: 

"a very uninteresting thing for it seems to me to go on like the rabbits in Windsor Park."

[birkenstock]

29 minutes ago, Barb23 said:

The explanation of the hot water cooler type dispenser makes sense & that's probably what happened.  But I still keep thinking of how that burn must have hurt on Izzy's tender skin.  

Can someone refresh my memory - was Izzy licking the standing fan last year in Danger America or just hugging it?  Either way not safe since it was running at the time.

Just a funny note - when I typed in "last year" in the above sentence, it came out as "masturbation" on my tablet. That stopped me, glad I proofread.  

Izzy was standing on the fan's base and licking/sucking on it.  He was teething and I think Jill said the vibrations from the fan made his gums feel better. She's just lucky it didn't fall over on him. Just makes you wonder how all of the Duggar kids have survived this long (Jason falling into the orchestra pit was a close call).    

[Arwen Evenstar]

2 hours ago, birkenstock said:

Izzy was standing on the fan's base and licking/sucking on it.  He was teething and I think Jill said the vibrations from the fan made his gums feel better. She's just lucky it didn't fall over on him. Just makes you wonder how all of the Duggar kids have survived this long (Jason falling into the orchestra pit was a close call).    

I thought that Darwinism was supposed to prevent such stupidity. Find something else to soothes his gums...what a dingbat.

[GeeGolly]

I agree that there are extremes with baby proofing and doing nothing. I think it depends on a lot of things; level of anxiety or relaxation of parents, number of kids, the house itself, the kid itself and parenting style. I think most parents that have free range kids do some level of baby proofing. I've also known hyper vigilant parents that have baby proofed to the point of craziness, yet never leave their kids side, and I've known the opposite where I would get nervous when their kids were out of sight knowing no baby proofing had been done.

It sucks that Izzy got burned, but I kind of think it was a perfect storm; first kid, familiar home, a span of time and change in Izzy's mobility and I believe she said he woke up early and went into the kitchen alone. For parents like Jill & Derick I look at it as a blessing in disguise. Maybe they needed this wake-up call to get them on the ball.

[Marigold]

Stairs and pool are a MUST.  Especially the pool!!!!!! 

I believe the Duggars have open stairs and Lord only knows about the pool.   

Honestly, the catwalk in the TTH makes me nervous.  The howlers really liked to climb when they were younger.  

[RazzleberryPie]

20 minutes ago, Marigold said:

Stairs and pool are a MUST.  Especially the pool!!!!!! 

I believe the Duggars have open stairs and Lord only knows about the pool.   

Honestly, the catwalk in the TTH makes me nervous.  The howlers really liked to climb when they were younger.  

This. Stairs, pools, poisons, anything that burns or can be consumed. Not sayin to have to pad the floor or saw off all the corners on furniture, but Jill seems to be more into the attention she gets from gestating and theorizing about babies, rather than actually mothering the ones who are here. She git it from her mama. 

[Churchhoney]

3 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

I thought that Darwinism was supposed to prevent such stupidity. Find something else to soothes his gums...what a dingbat.

I don't think human evolution has had time to catch up to the industrial revolution, however.  ;  )

[Marshmallow Mollie]

I have toddler twins, and I had some depression and still have some anxiety since they were born. They only have access to two rooms in the house, both of which are entirely baby proofed. I can go to the mailbox, I can go to the bathroom, I can change laundry, all without worrying about them. Most importantly, I can go to my room, close the door, and take deep breaths (read: read blogs) if I need to get away. 

All of this to say, when you are in a period of high stress, you need as little to worry about at a time as you can. I cannot imagine, for instance, running to the bathroom with an upset stomach, and worrying about the bookcase that isn't anchored to the wall, or if he's by the hot water tap again, or what have you. Too mentally taxing. 

I hear nursing a baby while a toddler is getting into stuff is not fun. 

[awaken]

@Marshmallow Mollie I hear you! BTDT. Not fun times always, but it will get better :). Good for you for making the space safe and manageable!  

[Arwen Evenstar]

14 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

I don't think human evolution has had time to catch up to the industrial revolution, however.  ;  )

That may explain a lot. ?

[Quilt Fairy]

The few times I've come across and used the water tank setup pictured above, the hot water tap was already child-proofed. To get cold water you could just press down on the blue lever but with the red hot water lever you had to press the lever in and then down. I usually have trouble performing the maneuver as a grown-up! This may vary by manufacturer, however.

[Arwen Evenstar]

8 hours ago, Quilt Fairy said:

The few times I've come across and used the water tank setup pictured above, the hot water tap was already child-proofed. To get cold water you could just press down on the blue lever but with the red hot water lever you had to press the lever in and then down. I usually have trouble performing the maneuver as a grown-up! This may vary by manufacturer, however.

They typically have a safety on them to prevent kids from doing what poor little Izzy did. Even the ones I've seen in offices make wanting hot water a deliberate choice, or they disable the electronics so you can't get hot water anyway. Many parts of the world have yet to catch up to safety standards and other safeguards taken for granted in the developing world.

Edited March 3, 2017 by Arwen Evenstar

[LilJen]

18 hours ago, Ripley68 said:

Reading a book on Queen Victoria's Grand Children and came upon this quote from QV  on the birth of her 7th granddaughter that mad me think of Jill and Jessa: 

"a very uninteresting thing for it seems to me to go on like the rabbits in Windsor Park."

Victoria had 9 children! Who was she to talk about breeding like rabbits? :P  

Anyway: hoping that in spite of all--the previous disaster + c-section, the cluelessness of J&D--baby #2 will arrive safely in the world.

[Absolom]

I'm in the US and have yet to see one of the water coolers with any safety device on the hot water.  But then I tend to only see them in places like professional offices and the beauty salon. 

[Minivanessa]

9 hours ago, Absolom said:

I'm in the US and have yet to see one of the water coolers with any safety device on the hot water.  But then I tend to only see them in places like professional offices and the beauty salon. 

That's odd. I'm also in the US and every one of those water coolers I've seen has a safety feature on the hot water spigot. Including those in professional offices. The ones I'm familiar with require you to push in a tab at the back of the hot water lever, to unlock the lever and allow it to be pressed down to start the flow of hot water. ETA: Just looking at the cooler you might not notice the tab on the back of the (red) hot water lever, but when you go to use it you realize you have to squeeze it in to unlock the lever.

Edited March 4, 2017 by Jeeves

[WhineandCheez]

Quote

I'm in the US and have yet to see one of the water coolers with any safety device on the hot water.  But then I tend to only see them in places like professional offices and the beauty salon. 

May I point out  that we will never see Derek or Jill in any of those 2 places???

[Arwen Evenstar]

3 hours ago, WhineandCheez said:

May I point out  that we will never see Derek or Jill in any of those 2 places???

Yes, you may.

[Micks Picks]

We also do not know what particular contraption the kid burned his hand on.  It was not necessarily the one pictured that is common in offices.  It could have been any of a number of devises allowing you to get quick heated water in small amounts.

[Absolom]

No, we don't, but we do know that the Dillards do have a similar water bottle device in their kitchen. 

[sometimesy]

Even the best parents end up in emergency with injured kids. It sucks, it could have been avoided, but this type of thing happens.

There is a big difference, to me, between this accident and the kid chewing on an electric fan while his mom takes video.

[MamaMax]

On 3/2/2017 at 10:26 PM, Marshmallow Mollie said:

I have toddler twins, and I had some depression and still have some anxiety since they were born. They only have access to two rooms in the house, both of which are entirely baby proofed. I can go to the mailbox, I can go to the bathroom, I can change laundry, all without worrying about them. Most importantly, I can go to my room, close the door, and take deep breaths (read: read blogs) if I need to get away. 

All of this to say, when you are in a period of high stress, you need as little to worry about at a time as you can. I cannot imagine, for instance, running to the bathroom with an upset stomach, and worrying about the bookcase that isn't anchored to the wall, or if he's by the hot water tap again, or what have you. Too mentally taxing. 

I hear nursing a baby while a toddler is getting into stuff is not fun. 

Definitly depends on the kid too. I had a friend whose son was unbelievable, look away for a second and he was swinging from the chandelier!  My kids were much easier...if we were shopping and I said "Stand there and don't move," they would. Some of my friends had runners...no matter what you said, they were on the move as soon as they were out of a stroller, lol. I have zero problems with the kiddie "leashes" for that reason. :) 

To give Jilly the benefit of the doubt though, the water cooler we had, had "childproof" hot spigot - you had to push in before pushing down -- perhaps they didn't think Izzy could do it, but he did. So then you just unplug it and the hot won't work.

[toodles]

On 3/2/2017 at 5:56 PM, Marigold said:

Stairs and pool are a MUST.  Especially the pool!!!!!! 

I believe the Duggars have open stairs and Lord only knows about the pool.   

Honestly, the catwalk in the TTH makes me nervous.  The howlers really liked to climb when they were younger.  

I realize the Little Couple is light years away from the Duggars, commonsense wise, but they taught their two very young children to swim right from the beginning.  It's too bad the Duggars don't watch shows on their own network.  They could learn a lot from Jen and Bill Klein.

[GeeGolly]

http://www.dillardfamily.com/2016-ministry-photo-album

There are pictures of the Dillard's ministry home on their blog. The water dispenser is in a couple of the pics.

[lookeyloo]

21 minutes ago, toodles said:

I realize the Little Couple is light years away from the Duggars, commonsense wise, but they taught their two very young children to swim right from the beginning.  It's too bad the Duggars don't watch shows on their own network.  They could learn a lot from Jen and Bill Klein.

I love the Little Couple and they are educated and mainstream.  Plus they both realized that especially Jen couldn't physically restrain or rescue either one of the children, so they are smart enough to do whatever they can to avoid issues.  No method is foolproof but they are doing everything they can in my opinion

[Arwen Evenstar]

1 hour ago, lookeyloo said:

I love the Little Couple and they are educated and mainstream.  Plus they both realized that especially Jen couldn't physically restrain or rescue either one of the children, so they are smart enough to do whatever they can to avoid issues.  No method is foolproof but they are doing everything they can in my opinion

Plus, Jen Arnold is an actual MD, and a neonatologist! Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Jilly Muffin!

[lascuba]

Random thought about old news: I just saw the episode where Derick goes to the doctor for his mysterious gagging disease, and man, the way Jill completely took over and answered the doctor's questions about Derick...I'm thinking she's the actual hen-pecking harpy wife of the Duggar clan, just like she was the hen pecking tattle tale among her siblings. Remember how she used to constantly interrupt him during talking heads and stopped when everyone online kept commenting on it? Clearly, that's still a thing for her since she couldn't even let Derick answer a question about his own health. 

[BitterApple]

I think a lot of the bitchiness/bossiness we see from Jill and Jessa is the result of their upbringing. Boob and Michelle have been checked out for the last 10+ years, leaving four teenage girls to run a 20 person household. Jana and Jinger don't have strong personalities so that left Jill and Jessa to be the taskmasters and disciplinarians. I remember the scene where the family was helping Josh set up his house in DC. It was taking forever because the kids were screwing around and Michelle was just standing there in her benzo haze. Finally Jill stepped in and started giving out orders to get things moving. I don't even think Jill is conscious of her behavior with regards to Derick, it's just second nature for her to dominate the conversation. 

[Churchhoney]

18 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Plus, Jen Arnold is an actual MD, and a neonatologist! Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Jilly Muffin!

To get a "higher" education is to collaborate with the Devil. 

just sayin 

[MamaMax]

1 hour ago, Churchhoney said:

To get a "higher" education is to collaborate with the Devil. 

just sayin 

So is using the services of such a Satan collaborator a sin....vis a vis Precious Miracle Joezee?

[Churchhoney]

32 minutes ago, MamaMax said:

So is using the services of such a Satan collaborator a sin....vis a vis Precious Miracle Joezee?

Yes. Unless you are top of the God's-chosen list, like Meechelle. 

[lookeyloo]

On 3/2/2017 at 4:09 PM, Ripley68 said:

Reading a book on Queen Victoria's Grand Children and came upon this quote from QV  on the birth of her 7th granddaughter that mad me think of Jill and Jessa: 

"a very uninteresting thing for it seems to me to go on like the rabbits in Windsor Park."

I am reading a book on Victoria and Albert right now.  Apparently the Queen also didn't have a heart for children, but she did like making herself joyfully available for Albert.  According to the book I am reading.

[Scarlett45]

10 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

I am reading a book on Victoria and Albert right now.  Apparently the Queen also didn't have a heart for children, but she did like making herself joyfully available for Albert.  According to the book I am reading.

Yes. I've read several biographical works about Queen Victoria, and she was not incredibly maternal, but had a strong attraction and affection for her husband (considering the state of most royal marriages she was fortunate) and thus why she was consistently pregnant. 

Its not surprising, if you LIKE having sex with your husband and marry in your 20s, 9 pregnancies before menopause in a time before medical contraception isnt strange. If you consider a woman her position wouldn't have nursed her babies she would be ovulating again pretty soon after birth (all other things being equal). 

To bring this back to the Duggars: chances are the girls won't be as fertile as Michelle (or their husbands as fertile as JB), but I can see at least one having 10+ kids, all of them won't, but Jessa or Jill may if I'd put money on someone. 

Edited March 5, 2017 by Scarlett45

[mimionthebeach]

On 03/03/2017 at 10:24 AM, LilJen said:

Victoria had 9 children! Who was she to talk about breeding like rabbits? :P  

 

One who knew, I guess. ?

[Arwen Evenstar]

Even though VR didn't have a heart for children, she and Albert truly and deeply loved one another. She hated being pregnant and thought breastfeeding was disgusting.

 Though she didn't have a heart for children, she at least handed the kids off to a wet nurse and would have raised hell if the kids did not look kempt and well cared for 24/7. Education and arts and music were things both V&A were passionate about. Albert was probably a nerd long before being a nerd was cool. From accounts I've read about VR, it seems she appreciated her children and grandchildren later in life, though the son she called Bertie vexed her greatly.

Royalty and nobility had legions of servants, nurses, and governesses to look after their children. Unlike the J-slaves, Victoria's daughters didn't have to raise their siblings. 

Michelle Duggar really is an idle cow.

[tabloidlover]

for all of JimBob's beliefs about a women's place is in the home, having babies and being homemakers,  WHY is he ok with Michelle doing nothing??   I cannot wrap my head around that.   Why is Michelle exempt from what he believes God wants? 

[Nysha]

Using the services of a doctor isn't a sin per se, but, men have to go to male doctors and women have to go to female doctors. Plus, they're not supposed to go in debt and they're not supposed to use government services, such as Medicaid and Obamacare. Since most of them are poor or self-employed, if they don't have insurance, they can only use the emergency room.

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, tabloidlover said:

for all of JimBob's beliefs about a women's place is in the home, having babies and being homemakers,  WHY is he ok with Michelle doing nothing??   I cannot wrap my head around that.   Why is Michelle exempt from what he believes God wants? 

I wonder whether that isn't Jim Bob's natural grifter instincts kicking in. .... He wants some stuff done, I'm sure. But if, just like him, Meeechelle finds a way to palm that work off on others (and, boy howdy, she has...), he may actually admire that, I'm thinking. He's such a damn dyed-in-the-wool grifter, I think he might admire her getting somebody else to do the work a lot more than he'd admire her for doing it herself. They're really a pair, as my old relatives used to say. 

[Nysha]

I think Michelle scared Jim-Bob when she had that breakdown when bigger kids were all little & she's got him convinced she's too delicate to do anything but look at him adoringly and be joyfully available whenever he's randy.

[DangerousMinds]

I am 100% sure Michelle saw many male physicians and they certainly took advantage of Medicaid and other government services for at least Josie.

[GeeGolly]

2 hours ago, tabloidlover said:

for all of JimBob's beliefs about a women's place is in the home, having babies and being homemakers,  WHY is he ok with Michelle doing nothing??   I cannot wrap my head around that.   Why is Michelle exempt from what he believes God wants? 

As long as he is fed and has clean clothes, he's all set. Cuz, you know, anyone can make him a sandwich ...

[sometimesy]

Will their return home from their long term stay of 3-4 months (for a short 6 month visit), coincide with Joys wedding? If Jill is due in July, will the Oatmeal wedding be before or after the delivery.

[Sew Sumi]

They can't plan the wedding around when Muffy might deliver. The wedding will easily be at least a month before she's due, if not before that just to be really safe. SheOatmeal doesn't want Muffy upstaging her with labor at her wedding!