Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[toodles]

On 5/18/2016 at 4:24 PM, NikSac said:

Hm. I guess I've been incredibly unlucky with pinkeye, in that case - then again I'm an adult who gets pinkeye at least every couple of years so I guess unlucky was a given. Mine always look way worse than that until after a couple days of eyedrops.

Dear Jill:

Do not post anymore"funny" face pictures.  Please.  They really don't work.  Also, no more picture s of your child with any bruises, ailments or filthy dirty.  It makes people reading this forum crazy.

 

Sincerely,

A person who reads this forum.

P.S.  these pictures make me crazy

[Arwen Evenstar]

PPS. Please no more goofy selfies of the two of you sharing a malt or a soda.  Not cute.

[HooHooHoo]

1 hour ago, Marigold said:

The list is a nice idea. It's a lot of God stuff but if that's what you're into, that's great for them. At least they seem to like the same qualities.

However, I feel this is private and should remain personal between a couple. 

And, he might be showing off for Jim Bob and Michelle, which is no bueno. 

Wonder if Derick has a secret "hey, hey, hey" list that he just wrote for the two of them? ;)

They couldn't keep this private!  Don't you know they are an "encouragement" to others? Or trying to show off how much more in love they are than everyone else?  Whatever. 

[Sew Sumi]

Okay, now I'm on my laptop and can read that mess.

Sense of humor? Creativity? Fun-loving? 

She's been on TV for over a decade, and I've never seen even a whiff of any of this. She's serious, lacking creativity (Jana does all the decorating and banners at Duggar Central), and she never participated in activities outside the Gothard box until she met Derick and "discovered" things like hiking and picnics. That also goes back to creativity. She can't even clean her house (either one) let alone do something nice with them. I've never seen her craft or sew. 

Hell, my husband could have written the same list about me and strike out on about as many items, especially the God-centric ones. Come to think of it, aside from the physical stuff, and love for family and dedication to others, my list would be polar opposite. Although serving others is a bit grey; we both get paid, but I will produce tangible results that will improve one's life. She promises something ephemeral that may or may not be real. I'm not knocking faith, but I am saying that I also work with oppressed, underserved people (including MANY Muslims....gasp), and religion is NEVER an issue in order to get work done. The best thing is, people from other cultures in our ESL program learn that we respect THEM, and that in turn makes them more willing to open up to learning a foreign culture. Something new. Jill still seems to fail in this regard. Wear some tasteful native clothing! Speak the fucking language. Even the Muslim women I work with can tweak outfits far more conservative than Jill's with sparkly hijabs and whatnot. AND they WANT to learn the language. 

Oh so frustrating for me. 

Edited May 20, 2016 by Sew Sumi

[NikSac]

I wonder if #3 "Her beautiful face" was a shout out to Jim Bob and his focus on the countenance.

[Sew Sumi]

Probably, but one of the few where Derick's and my husband's opinions are subjectively correct. :)

[Quilt Fairy]

9 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

Neither is my daughter.  It's not nice, and it's not pretty, and I am not proud.  They don't have any discernible "mission".  Much like Jerrick.  The thing Jerrick does, where they entertain and guide kids on summer mission trips?  My daughter and SIL (OBL) do that too.  Being on a mission field does not a missionary make.  Maybe Jerrick is more productive.  I hope so.

Marigold, my daughter and OBL identify with Southern Baptists.  I am SB as well, and as a rule, we are not fundy at all any more.  We've changed since I was a kid, that's for sure.  The SIL was a youth pastor in a local SBC before they left.  My daughter, however, tends to lean more fundy.  

What does OBL stand for? I tried Googling it (which usually works) and I got everything from Osama bin Laden to the Ohio Bankers League but nothing that would fit your context.

Edited May 20, 2016 by Quilt Fairy

[Tabbygirl521]

9 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

Neither is my daughter.  It's not nice, and it's not pretty, and I am not proud.  They don't have any discernible "mission".  Much like Jerrick.  The thing Jerrick does, where they entertain and guide kids on summer mission trips?  My daughter and SIL (OBL) do that too.  Being on a mission field does not a missionary make.  Maybe Jerrick is more productive.  I hope so.

Marigold, my daughter and OBL identify with Southern Baptists.  I am SB as well, and as a rule, we are not fundy at all any more.  We've changed since I was a kid, that's for sure.  The SIL was a youth pastor in a local SBC before they left.  My daughter, however, tends to lean more fundy.  

Ha! I JUST got "OBL." Oh dear. 

(At least I think I got it: Bin Laden, right?)

Edited May 20, 2016 by Tabbygirl521

[Arwen Evenstar]

1 hour ago, NikSac said:

I wonder if #3 "Her beautiful face" was a shout out to Jim Bob and his focus on the countenance.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. She's not unattractive, but he's not Javier Bardem either.

[Churchhoney]

8 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Okay, now I'm on my laptop and can read that mess.

Sense of humor? Creativity? Fun-loving? 

She's been on TV for over a decade, and I've never seen even a whiff of any of this. She's serious, lacking creativity (Jana does all the decorating and banners at Duggar Central), and she never participated in activities outside the Gothard box until she met Derick and "discovered" things like hiking and picnics. That also goes back to creativity. She can't even clean her house (either one) let alone do something nice with them. I've never seen her craft or sew. 

Hell, my husband could have written the same list about me and strike out on about as many items, especially the God-centric ones. Come to think of it, aside from the physical stuff, and love for family and dedication to others, my list would be polar opposite. Although serving others is a bit grey; we both get paid, but I will produce tangible results that will improve one's life. She promises something ephemeral that may or may not be real. I'm not knocking faith, but I am saying that I also work with oppressed, underserved people (including MANY Muslims....gasp), and religion is NEVER an issue in order to get work done. The best thing is, people from other cultures in our ESL program learn that we respect THEM, and that in turn makes them more willing to open up to learning a foreign culture. Something new. Jill still seems to fail in this regard. Wear some tasteful native clothing! Speak the fucking language. Even the Muslim women I work with can tweak outfits far more conservative than Jill's with sparkly hijabs and whatnot. AND they WANT to learn the language. 

Oh so frustrating for me. 

I think respect is a big key to the Duggs' whole problem. While the Duggar kids have been, in some ways, held up to the world as being oh-so-special-ecial-and-better-than-anyone-by-virtue-of-being-JimBob's-kids,-Gothard's-devotees-and-Jesus's-chief-cheerleaders, none of them has been shown one iota of real and meaningful respect by their parents, ever. At all. And they've been carefully taught not to respect each other, given the way everybody's supposed to endlessly tattle and follow each other around  because none of them alone has any "accountability."

All that being the case -- and since they've never spent any time with anyone who does practice respect for others, since they hang out almost exclusively with Gothard followers, when they do get to leave the house -- I think it's likely that no Duggar kid has the slightest idea what respect actually is. They don't even know it exists, let alone that it's good to treat others respectfully. All their "role models" have endlessly modeled this no-respect paradigm for them. So I guess it's no surprise that their idea of human contact is confined to ignoring people's reality while trying to shove Duggarism down their throats.

Edited May 20, 2016 by Churchhoney

[Catlyn]

13 hours ago, sometimesy said:

6. Her love for the nations and ????? the worldwide need for pickles

The missing words are: "the realization of" 

I am the official translator of bad handwriting for work and my family. My youngest brother's handwriting was horrid.

[Minivanessa]

#17 cracked me up: Her ability to cook "delicious things." That one clanged my BS-o-meter into the red zone. 

If she could really cook anything he actually finds delicious, wouldn't he have named it? Something like, "She makes a terrific tater tot casserole." Or, "She's so good at making fried chicken just the way I like it."

As written, #17 is generic and fake because IMO he obviously couldn't think of a single thing she cooks that he thinks is delicious. And cooking is supposed to be within a godly wife's jurisdiction so he had to give her props for it.

Total Duggar-ish BS for public consumption. It's written in the third person so it wasn't written TO her anyway. Yawn.

[Aja]

13 hours ago, Vaysh said:

That list was beyond generic. Did Michelle give him pointers on how to describe family members in the blandest way possible?

My thought exactly. Almost word for word what Michelle says every time there's a J'birthday.

[BitterApple]

I think the idea of a list is really sweet, however Derick just reiterated the same impersonal, generic Gothard platitudes we've been hearing for years. There's no sense of who Jill is as a person. I don't think any of these couples really discuss anything on a truly intimate level. It's just Bible verses and babies 24/7. 

[Sew Sumi]

Is Muffy knocked up? THAT would explain a birthday trip to Danger America from the parents. 

[NikSac]

31 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Is Muffy knocked up? THAT would explain a birthday trip to Danger America from the parents. 

Woah she sure looks pregnant. Although I can't remember seeing many 'belly' shots since she had Iz. If her belly never really snapped all the way back, she tucked a shirt under it, and she's standing swaybacked like she typically does, it's possible she isn't?  Maybe?

On a funny note, I have my brightness turned down pretty far on my laptop screen and when I first looked at this I thought it was a dog looking right up her skirt. I couldn't stop laughing, til I turned up the brightness and saw it's a purse and blanket or something. The dog image was way funnier.

[Arwen Evenstar]

More questionable parenting from Muffy and Scruffy:

http://www.inquisitr.com/3117127/josh-duggar-works-for-his-17-year-old-brother-jill-duggars-son-eats-bugs/

Enjoy...

[gingerandcloves]

4 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Is Muffy knocked up? THAT would explain a birthday trip to Danger America from the parents. 

Those kids look bored out of their skulls.

[cmr2014]

19 minutes ago, gingerandcloves said:

Those kids look bored out of their skulls.

That was my feeling when I saw this. What is actually going on here? Is she reading them Bible stories in English?

My feeling is that the locals are humoring them. When I see these photos and snippets of film, I get the feeling that people are trying to be nice -- and maybe taking advantage of a couple of hours of free child care or a little extra food for the house, but they have to wonder what these non-Spanish-speaking missionaries are doing there. They aren't really offering anything tangible: food, education, medical care (including birth control), infrastructure, etc. I really doubt that most people -- especially people just scraping by -- can really fathom that these people have decided to devote their lives to "converting" them to a slightly different flavor of Christianity.

I'm also thinking that Derick is really just a hippie. I don't doubt that he is very religious, but I also think that he may have stumbled onto the idea of being a "missionary" in order to travel the world, and sort of hang out and loaf around. I think that Derick, like JB, discovered that he could make a living simply by "being Christian" and is running with it.

[BetyBee]

8 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

More questionable parenting from Muffy and Scruffy:

http://www.inquisitr.com/3117127/josh-duggar-works-for-his-17-year-old-brother-jill-duggars-son-eats-bugs/

Enjoy...

That article was more accurate than most and they did not mince words.  There is much to be disgusted by when it comes to the Duggars, but the Dullards allowing Izzy to eat bugs is absolutely revolting.  I can't help but wonder if those bugs have made contact with insect repellent prior to Izzy chowing down?  His parents are that stupid, aren't they?  

[lulu69]

Oddly enough, the bug eating doesn't bother me so much; guess I've been watching too many survival shows lol.

Izzy is a big boy, he's got to eat somehow. At least you know the bugs are fresh & full of protein.

[NewDigs]

9 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

More questionable parenting from Muffy and Scruffy:

http://www.inquisitr.com/3117127/josh-duggar-works-for-his-17-year-old-brother-jill-duggars-son-eats-bugs/

Enjoy...

Nooo! They scrubbed the picture and the headline!

An hour ago the Duggar photos at the bottom of the article teased, w/ a headline, the photo of whichever Jidiot was on the beach in DangerAmerica holding a rifle alongside the militia. BUT they showed a pic of Jidiot with her horse.

Now, headline and horsey picture are gone.

I was hoping to see that J-girl-joins-the-militia photo again. Damn.

[BitterApple]

8 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

Those kids look bored out of their skulls.

That was my first thought as well!

[bigskygirl]

I am totally speechless after reading this.   http://www.dillardfamily.com/2016/5/hello-from-the-dillards

[Arwen Evenstar]

9 minutes ago, bigskygirl said:

I am totally speechless after reading this.   http://www.dillardfamily.com/2016/5/hello-from-the-dillards

Derick actually writes decently. For that, I'm speechless.  I'm not amused by their letting Izzy eat bugs. I guess that gives new meaning to the word "grub".

[bigskygirl]

 I find it ironic that he thinks he saved the one guy who was shot. Does he really think the bible will save gang members and turning to God would prevent gang violence. Hello Derick, let me introduce you to a friend of mine call reality. I wonder if he would let one of the heathens cut his hair instead of Jill since she does a crappy job with his hair.

[NikSac]

6 hours ago, lulu69 said:

Oddly enough, the bug eating doesn't bother me so much; guess I've been watching too many survival shows lol.

Izzy is a big boy, he's got to eat somehow. At least you know the bugs are fresh & full of protein.

lol.. I was picturing my brother and his friends daring each other to eat various bugs, granted at a slightly older age, but I don't think it's that unusual. I was worried more about poisonous bugs than anything. We don't have a lot here but I imagine they do in the wilds of Danger America.

[Arwen Evenstar]

18 minutes ago, NikSac said:

lol.. I was picturing my brother and his friends daring each other to eat various bugs, granted at a slightly older age, but I don't think it's that unusual. I was worried more about poisonous bugs than anything. We don't have a lot here but I imagine they do in the wilds of Danger America.

More worried about the pesticides they use over there since many pesticides used in Latin America are banned in most countries. No telling what that little guy is eating.  Scorpions and tarantulas are also unpleasant findings.

[Love2dance]

7 hours ago, lulu69 said:

Oddly enough, the bug eating doesn't bother me so much; guess I've been watching too many survival shows lol.

Izzy is a big boy, he's got to eat somehow. At least you know the bugs are fresh & full of protein.

Ewwwwwwwww!    ??

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, bigskygirl said:

 I find it ironic that he thinks he saved the one guy who was shot. Does he really think the bible will save gang members and turning to God would prevent gang violence.

I fear that he does believe this. I think Derick means well, but I also think it's pretty clear that he's basically a naive child who does a lot of magical thinking.

I feel wrong bashing people for being innocents of any sort, in a way, but I also think that at a certain point in life you're just indulging in denial when you continue to think this way. I expect that the trouble for Derick is that he couldn't keep holding on to his dumb childhood faith if he didn't also hold onto this kind of blindness, denial and magical thinking, and he can't bear to give up that faith. That puts a bunch of hard choices ahead of him, though. He's either got to move on into a way more mature -- and ambiguous and difficult faith (or a lack of it) -- which would leave Duggardom, SOS, Jilly Muffin and a lot of other stuff behind, or go on being a religious idiot for the foreseeable future. I think he'll choose the second, unfortunately. But I do admit that growing up, in the family circumstances in which he's placed himself, would not be the least bit easy.

Edited May 21, 2016 by Churchhoney
forgot to mention the agnostic and atheist options

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, NikSac said:

lol.. I was picturing my brother and his friends daring each other to eat various bugs, granted at a slightly older age, but I don't think it's that unusual. I was worried more about poisonous bugs than anything. We don't have a lot here but I imagine they do in the wilds of Danger America.

An old friend of mine, and one of the most prim, conservative, meat and persnickety people I've ever known, has always enjoyed the fact that as a child she regularly ate a lot of ants off the sidewalk in front of her house. And not just as a baby but as a grade-school kid. She recently died, in her 90s, and she relished the fact of her long-term bug-eating all the way through to the end. ....

I don't think Derick really said that they encourage or overlook issues with Izzy's bug eating. I think he was just making a joke about some of Izzy's newfound food interests but isn't a good enough writer to make the whole story clear in the course of his little joke.

[Jellybeans]

People all over the world eat bugs- I learned that in school.  It is not our culture to do so but it is common in Latin America.  

I would not want to eat bugs but if I think about it too much, I am not sure ground up cow meat is anymore appealing.  I am not a vegetarian...just saying it is a matter of perception.

If I went to a different country I would want to immerse myself just a little bit into their culture but for Jill, this is a big deal considering how she was raised.

[Arwen Evenstar]

40 minutes ago, Jellybeans said:

People all over the world eat bugs- I learned that in school.  It is not our culture to do so but it is common in Latin America.  

I would not want to eat bugs but if I think about it too much, I am not sure ground up cow meat is anymore appealing.  I am not a vegetarian...just saying it is a matter of perception.

If I went to a different country I would want to immerse myself just a little bit into their culture but for Jill, this is a big deal considering how she was raised.

When Jill went to Nepal with Boob, she was digging in with gusto, at least willing to try new things. Boob, OTOH, was acting like a petulant child, refusing to try anything. Even if she didn't like it, I gave her points for trying it, at least. Boob is an embarrassment to society.

Bugs and worms and grubs are considered delicacies everywhere but North America, with the exception of Mexico.Theres a famous restaurant in Mexico City that serves a variety of grubs and worms and crickets. 

Since rice and beans and plantains and yuca are standard in Latin America, either as side dishes or the main course, at least that's a standard fallback...usually tasty everywhere, economical, and hard to screw up.

[NewDigs]

National Geographic is only one source extolling the virtues of eating bugs. Full of protein and some are tasty. I think the Shark Tank presentation I saw used insect flour in nutrition bars. 

Not surprised that Boob refused to try something so disgusting. ::eyeroll:: But really more surprised that Jill did try. Maybe she was in full-on get-my-man mode.

And I too think the Izzy eats bugs comment was just very awkwardly expressed.

I hope they stay down there. One step closer to escape. Sad.

[Arwen Evenstar]

16 minutes ago, NewDigs said:

National Geographic is only one source extolling the virtues of eating bugs. Full of protein and some are tasty. I think the Shark Tank presentation I saw used insect flour in nutrition bars. 

Not surprised that Boob refused to try something so disgusting. ::eyeroll:: But really more surprised that Jill did try. Maybe she was in full-on get-my-man mode.

And I too think the Izzy eats bugs comment was just very awkwardly expressed.

I hope they stay down there. One step closer to escape. Sad.

IIRC, I don't think any crickets or grubs were served in Nepal, but Jill seemed to like whatever Derick ordered for them. 

I don't think we would have been grossed out by Izzy eating bugs, were it not for the swaddling screaming dirty pink eyed bruised up baby we've already seen as well as other questionable parenting behavior.

I don't think I could be persuaded to eat bugs. Maybe cricket flour if no one told me what it was but...eeeek

[BetyBee]

I'm a little surprised that so many here are pro eating bugs.  I still choose not to (intentionally, anyway - I know there are acceptable levels of such things in our processed foods) and would stop my baby from doing so, but I can appreciate that that is a very North American point of view.  I guess I hadn't thought about it as evidence of Derick & Jill embracing local culture.  

[sometimesy]

A kid eats a bug, no big deal (for most bugs), but it makes me think of someone telling me they couldn't eat shrimp because they thought of them as sea caterpillars. It's been in my head ever since haha. It's all in the way you look at it. If we just thought of them as protein bits we could make use of environmentally friendly, economic, easily accessed protein. Izzy could be on to the next big thing. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

Regarding the eating bugs thing, I just see it as Derick making a joke...Toddlers will put anything and everything in their mouths, and not even the most diligent parent will be able to prevent the occasional non-edible from ending up in their child's mouth. And Jill & Derick are a little less than hypervigilant...So, they probably did retrieve a bug or two and probably laughed about it and called him their little exterminator or something, then Derick put the line in his letter. 

Heck, it's better than freaking out about it...

[Arwen Evenstar]

24 minutes ago, sometimesy said:

A kid eats a bug, no big deal (for most bugs), but it makes me think of someone telling me they couldn't eat shrimp because they thought of them as sea caterpillars. It's been in my head ever since haha. It's all in the way you look at it. If we just thought of them as protein bits we could make use of environmentally friendly, economic, easily accessed protein. Izzy could be on to the next big thing. 

Bugs and larvae are high in protein, but it's not going to take off in the US and Canada unless it becomes the next craze, in a paleo sort of a way. I'll eat just about anything except bugs,offal, stinky cheese, bush meat, any animal that could be a pet, blood sausage, and 1000 year old eggs.

Edited May 22, 2016 by Arwen Evenstar

[MunichNark]

He was trying to be funny - it's just that we are so hypersensitive towards everything they do....we used to dare each other to eat worms as children.

I did read through his tribe, he comes across as such an almighty bore - is it just me or is he the dullest person imaginable? He seems to try sooooo hard to be all serious, businesslike and earnest, not wanting to be a lighthearted ordinary person. "I'm a speshul snowflake me".

I can't begin to imagine how their life must be like. Jill not keeping house, the poor child being dragged around, and WHAT do they talk about all day?

[Vaysh]

Quote

is it just me or is he the dullest person imaginable? He seems to try sooooo hard to be all serious, businesslike and earnest, not wanting to be a lighthearted ordinary person. "I'm a speshul snowflake me".

I honestly think this is Jill's fault.

Derrick did make a few jokes on the show; not terribly clever ones or very funny, but sort mildly poking fun or not taking things 100% seriously. Jill shot him down every. single. time. Derrick probably does have a sense of humour but he has now involved himself with a self-important wife and family that can't laugh at themselves and whose sense of humour in general is somewhat lacking. All I've seen from the Duggars in terms of humour are mean practical jokes and passive aggressive snarking. They don't appear to appreciate or be able to laugh at the absurdities of life, which I believe is one of the cornerstones of having a sense of humour.

[Churchhoney]

2 hours ago, Vaysh said:

I honestly think this is Jill's fault.

Derrick did make a few jokes on the show; not terribly clever ones or very funny, but sort mildly poking fun or not taking things 100% seriously. Jill shot him down every. single. time. Derrick probably does have a sense of humour but he has now involved himself with a self-important wife and family that can't laugh at themselves and whose sense of humour in general is somewhat lacking. All I've seen from the Duggars in terms of humour are mean practical jokes and passive aggressive snarking. They don't appear to appreciate or be able to laugh at the absurdities of life, which I believe is one of the cornerstones of having a sense of humour.

Good point. Actual humor -- rather than mean passive aggressive and practical jokes, the Dug specialty -- requires recognition of and appreciation for ambiguity. That's the biggest thing that the Jim Bob and Gothard philosophy will not and cannot tolerate. Unfortunately, JB and M have passed this on as a sacred law to their unfortunate children. If you want to be able to crack a joke unmolested, don't marry a Duggar. No wonder JB can't find any more marriage candidates. Long may allt he candidates resist, too. Maybe if none of the kids can find a spouse, they'll begin to wake up and realize it's time to abandon the tinkertoy house of horrors.

[Arwen Evenstar]

5 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Good point. Actual humor -- rather than mean passive aggressive and practical jokes, the Dug specialty -- requires recognition of and appreciation for ambiguity. That's the biggest thing that the Jim Bob and Gothard philosophy will not and cannot tolerate. Unfortunately, JB and M have passed this on as a sacred law to their unfortunate children. If you want to be able to crack a joke unmolested, don't marry a Duggar. No wonder JB can't find any more marriage candidates. Long may allt he candidates resist, too. Maybe if none of the kids can find a spouse, they'll begin to wake up and realize it's time to abandon the tinkertoy house of horrors.

There is no fun n Fundy. Other than one upping and within the lines pranking, it has been my experience that Fundys completely lack a sense if humor. When anything you laugh at gets you paddled, grounded, or shamed, you just learn to not do it anymore. A dear friend of mine left the Pentecostal church at 18 and never looked back. Her husband and I would sit on the couch laughing until we cried at SNL and Monty Python while she just couldn't see why it was so funny. She wanted to "get it", but she couldn't, since she wasn't allowed to watch those shows, she was never able to cultivate a taste for that sort of humor. She loved rock and roll and smutty books, and dirty jokes, but she just couldn't do pop culture comedy.

[Arwen Evenstar]

Dear Muffy,

please click this link to find something that might help you come up with a jurisdiction for Izzy:

http://www.journalistate.com/entertainment/14-useless-inventions-known-mankind/5

[skatelady]

Quote

If you want to be able to crack a joke unmolested, don't marry a Duggar

Or grow up in their house....

(Oh, that was mean. And off topic. So I'll just go back into hiding...)

[SometimesBites]

On 5/18/2016 at 8:57 AM, Marigold said:

The other SOS missionaries do not look like dirty hippies...this is Derick way out there by himself. It's bizarre for the Baptist culture and religion...very bizarre. 

Maybe because I was raised in as a Fund Baptist and was one for so many years, I see this as such erratic and insane behavior that he must be out of his freaking mind. I suspect I see it as so much worse because I have been in and around Fundamentalist Baptists and his appearance is considered straight from the devil. And Derick knows it. If I know it, then he knows it.  And he is doing it anyway.

I want to throw in a differing paradigm here. I fully realize that in the Bible Belt brand of evangelical Christianity there is a pretty narrow scope of what a believer should look like, and I'm sure Derrick knows it--I mean, look who his FIL is. But maybe Derrick simply wants to be his own man. Maybe his time in Nepal, for instance, exposed him to a wider variety of people, and cracked open his thinking just a little bit about things like outward appearances. Derrick has a BIL who had the outward appearance thing down pat, and on the inside was a seething mess of nasty, hypocritical awfulness.

I come from a very different school of evangelicalism: straight out of the West Coast Jesus People movement of the late 1960s/early-to-mid 1970s. An entire generation of young people dedicated their lives to Christ when they found churches that were loving and accepting, where they were embraced in spite of their differences--those incredibly superficial differences, like how long someone's hair was. When you see candid photos from those days, there are straightlaced, Sunday best, buttoned-up people worshipping right along with long-haired, headbanded, granny-skirted counterculture types--all of them smiling and enjoying the intersection where their faith brought them together.

This may be who Derrick feels he really is on the inside. Or it may be he's just exploring ways to differentiate himself from the narrow strictures of the social milieu you describe. I find his changed look to be refreshing, because it gives me a hint that there may be a strong, healthy rebellious streak in him. BTW: "hippie" is not a synonym for "dirty." I once WAS a hippie, and lived in several communes. People are just people--some have sketchy personal hygiene, and some are clean as can be; I've been around plenty of both flavors, and their hair or style of dress had ZERO to do with it! 

[Marigold]

I agree. Maybe Derick does feel like a free spirit, Jesus loving hippie on the inside. He had time in Nepal to stretch a little.  His mom and brother seem in touch with reality.   But why seek out Jim Bob as a prayer partner, date a Duggar, marry a Duggar, be a (pretend) missionary and then dress so counter cultural to that?  It's not like he met Jill and fell in love and then realized "oh crap, I love this girl and she is a Duggar!!!. Help!!!!"   Derick contacted Jim Bob. he initiated.

Ya know, that is nutty too...maybe Derick is a fruit loop and I am trying to make sense of it. ;)  It probably will never make any sense. Derick appears like a decent guy who at least went to college and had a job but maybe on the inside, he is irrational, illogical or jsut a dullard.  I'm gonna give up trying to figure out Derick. I think he is too wacky for me. 

If Derick wants to be his own man, well, he made a stupid move by marrying into the Duggar cult.  Kinda late to bust out the 'do rag when you're filming with the Duggars and using the Duggar name to be a fake missionary and all. 

[cmr2014]

34 minutes ago, Marigold said:

I agree. Maybe Derick does feel like a free spirit, Jesus loving hippie on the inside. He had time in Nepal to stretch a little.  His mom and brother seem in touch with reality.   But why seek out Jim Bob as a prayer partner, date a Duggar, marry a Duggar, be a (pretend) missionary and then dress so counter cultural to that?  It's not like he met Jill and fell in love and then realized "oh crap, I love this girl and she is a Duggar!!!. Help!!!!"   Derick contacted Jim Bob. he initiated.

Ya know, that is nutty too...maybe Derick is a fruit loop and I am trying to make sense of it. ;)  It probably will never make any sense. Derick appears like a decent guy who at least went to college and had a job but maybe on the inside, he is irrational, illogical or jsut a dullard.  I'm gonna give up trying to figure out Derick. I think he is too wacky for me. 

If Derick wants to be his own man, well, he made a stupid move by marrying into the Duggar cult.  Kinda late to bust out the 'do rag when you're filming with the Duggars and using the Duggar name to be a fake missionary and all. 

I can't say that I get him either, but I think a large part of it is immaturity.

1. When he married Jill, it was easy to be overwhelmed by how immature Jill is without really noticing that Derick is immature, too. When an 18 year old marries a 13 year old, it is the immaturity of the 13 year old that stands out.

2. His stated goal of wanting to be a missionary, and his work towards his masters in the early months of their marriage led me to believe that he was a guy with a long-term plan for his life. I cut him a lot of slack when he went to SOS route, and thought he was just trying to escape JB, but he could just be into traveling the world and being fed, sheltered, and clothed just for saying that he "Loves Jesus."

3. Ben showed up about the same time and he is young, obnoxious, and obviously immature. Derick's immaturity might have been more obvious if he wasn't in direct comparison with Ben.

4. As pointed out above, he sought out JB. Regardless of whether he had seen the show or not, it might have been a good use of time to download a couple of episodes and check it out before hitching his wagon to the Duggar train. He may be a shy guy who liked having a nice Jesus-loving girl dropped directly into his lap, but the price has been really high, and he would have known that if he had put any thought into it at all.

[Almost 3000]

Derrick seems to have some physical problems and perhaps social ones too. Maybe by getting a virgin bride he feels he won't be compared to other men by her.

[MunichNark]

You all seem to have such varied interesting backgrounds......I really think we need a thread on that.

Derick is just weird. In the beginning I thought he would be a breath of fresh air, rescuing Jill, but he's turned out to be a complete mess.

On one hand, he doesn't seem to be able to put his foot down, on the other, they did move away and yes, he looks bloody awful, but at least it's his own style. Disgusting, messy, dirty but his own.

Don't think he's too smart though, despite his degree. He doesn't seem truly interested in thinking, going down deep into something. If he continues like that, he will eventually become a Duggar (isn't it terrifying how much people are absorbed into this awful family??), empty headed and superficial.