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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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Nah, I would just tell Derick, get a job hippie. WTH? Why does he think he is the chosen one to have to not work, get money for nothing, then take off to bible belt to people who already believe in Jesus!!

 

Oh, I would never personally donate to the Dillards' mission fund. I just want them - Derick especially - to know that when you expect other people to pay your way - for anything - you provide as absolutely as much information as possible. And if you're not willing to do that, you pay for yourself.

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On May 10th, a mod note was posted about the use of appropriate nicknames for baby Isreal. Yes, it was over a month and a half ago, so once again here is a reminder about what is or is not a proper nickname. Palestine should not be use as a nickname. The mods advise the use of Iz or Izzy when discussing the infant. Any post with an unsuitable nickname being used to discuss a minor will be hidden or edited at the discretion of the mods. In other words, think before trying out a nickname on here especially when it comes to talking about an innocent child. Thank you.

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Oh, I would never personally donate to the Dillards' mission fund. I just want them - Derick especially - to know that when you expect other people to pay your way - for anything - you provide as absolutely as much information as possible. And if you're not willing to do that, you pay for yourself.

To me, that's a huge red flag. Do they really think that the paps are going to hunt them down and dog them in Central America (I'll also add Nepal, although I don't think this is their destination)? I don't see any other reason to hide the main detail about this trip. I

 

I hope he's not using this money to fund the remainder of his uninsured orthodontia. I don't think Samaritan Ministries, a pay-in Christian insurance pool in which coverage is put to a vote by other members, pays for dental/orthodontic care. Unless Derick is now an employee of JB and paying in to whatever insurance plan he's using to cover his kids and Ben. We've seen enough trips to the dentist and braces on Duggar kids; JB has to have some coverage there by now. 

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(edited)

Ok, guess I am going to hell, but I think he looked better BEFORE the surgery.  Now he seems lopsided and his teeth look too big for his mouth.

 

I was actually wondering if the surgery is one of those things that will be a progressive change. Thinking of a friend of mine who had jaw surgery to fix some bite issues and she looked downright odd for almost a year while it healed and things shifted. I have no idea what Derick's surgery was, just thinking it's a possibility.

Edited by NikSac
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From Derick's IG with Paw Paw Dillard and Izzy. 

 

https://instagram.com/p/4haxlEmCQi/?taken-by=derickdillard

 

 

Some IG poster commenting on this photo suggested Derick has been ill. Assuming this isn't a reference to whatever he had done to his jaw - or that the "illness" means Derick's emotional reaction to what big brother Josh did to Jill - has anyone heard anything re him being sick?  He hasn't LOOKED particularly well lately. But then he never looked like he belonged on a Wheaties box anyway.

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They should have been counseled  NOT to make Drastic life choices such as quitting your job; setting up a "business" and going overseas after have a difficult and traumatic birth experience; apparently major mouth surgery and a big family secret put out to the millions.... This should be a time of careful reflection not sudden action.

 

[employing sarcasm font] Response from Jill & Derick: Hey, you guys. Come on, we're 20-somethings! We have it ALL figured out - and nothing can happen! Don't worry! What is it about you old folks? Why can't you just relax? Why are you always so cautious, and worrying about every little thing that MIGHT happen?

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They should have been counseled NOT to make Drastic life choices such as quitting your job; setting up a "business" and going overseas after have a difficult and traumatic birth experience; apparently major mouth surgery and a big family secret put out to the millions.... This should be a time of careful reflection not sudden action.

I may get villified for saying this, but I honestly feel like Derick has been trying to fill the void since his father died. It's like he's running from something without any real direction as to where he's headed and I don't think this will fulfill him at all.

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I may get villified for saying this, but I honestly feel like Derick has been trying to fill the void since his father died. It's like he's running from something without any real direction as to where he's headed and I don't think this will fulfill him at all.

Serious question: isn't that what the mega-faith is for? 

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You guys are on fire tonight with the comments!

I'm not sure what the end game is for Derick's dental work, but he looked a million times better before. Between the braces and bad haircut, he's looking a hot ass mess.

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PawPaw is southern for grandpa while meemaw is grandma.  I hate it every time I hear it.

In this country we have the Salvation Army whose ministry is helping the poor and homeless.

Also we have Catholic Charities.  My only problem with them is that they don't have their regulars doing some of the work themselves.  They do everything for the "client" without asking clients to anything for themselves.  Like if you feed them daily, they should help with cleaning.  If you provide showers and bathrooms, they should be cleaning them.  Barring the mentally or physically incapable.

 

Derick's mission work may have been like John Shrader's where he does nothing for anybody else and you have to come to him and beg to be saved.  Nifty deal.  Do what you want and have somebody else pay for it.

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(edited)

I didn't realize Paw-Paw was a southern thing. My Daddy used to sign cards with 2 little paws. My Mama is "granny" and I really really hate that. Makes me a lays think of Granny Clampett.

Edited by Happyfatchick
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I was encouraged by one thing on that Instagram.....his comment that Baby Iz will be playing COLLEGE basketball. I just don't see him not wanting Iz to pursue higher education, if only because of his deep love of Pistol Pete.

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PawPaw is southern for grandpa while meemaw is grandma.  I hate it every time I hear it.

In this country we have the Salvation Army whose ministry is helping the poor and homeless.

Also we have Catholic Charities.  My only problem with them is that they don't have their regulars doing some of the work themselves.  They do everything for the "client" without asking clients to anything for themselves.  Like if you feed them daily, they should help with cleaning.  If you provide showers and bathrooms, they should be cleaning them.  Barring the mentally or physically incapable.

 

Derick's mission work may have been like John Shrader's where he does nothing for anybody else and you have to come to him and beg to be saved.  Nifty deal.  Do what you want and have somebody else pay for it.

I worked for Catholic Charities and found it to be an excellent organization, even from he viewpoint of this atheist, pro-choice, extreme progressive. And no one EVER asked me about my personal beliefs or tried to push any of theirs on me. They had programs for he homeless, new immigrants, rental assistance, health care, etc. NEVER any prosthetizing or mention of Christ that I saw or heard. Just assisting those who needed it. I also worked for Planned Parenthood and they are an excellent organization.

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DangerousMinds, I also worked with them for some time as a volunteer.  They had all kinds of programs, excellently run including veterinary care for the pets of the homeless.  My viewpoint is only that the recipients, if at all able, should be expected to do something for themselves as well.  And no, I never heard any preaching from anyone either.  They were a "for the common good" organization.  


I also think Derick will come around on a more normal education.  The instagram did say his grandfather played college football, so that's 3 generations with a college education, and it would seem strange that Derick would deliberately withhold the education to get his own kids into college.  So Jill better sharpen herself up to be able to homeschool to that level.

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I have a soft spot for all the grandparent familiar endearments--Grammie, Nana, Grampie, Papa, MeeMaw, Grandad, Grandmama, Oma, Granny, Grandaddy, Opa, Pepere, Abuelita, Memere, Pop-Pop, Grandmother, Grandfather. More often than not they're just another word for LOVE.

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(edited)

And it's pretty obvious from recent pictures that the Flowbee hasn't touched Derick's head since the birth of the Blessed Leader of Siblings. He looks like one of the Beatles c.1965. Too bad he'd never understand that cultural reference. 

I can't say for sure, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did get the reference. I'm not too far off in age, from Derrick my parents are around his parent's age (his dad's if he was alive.). I can't be totally sure they didn't play him a few Beatles tunes growing up. He may not know that exact haircut, but he could google the hair. 

 

I may get villified for saying this, but I honestly feel like Derick has been trying to fill the void since his father died. It's like he's running from something without any real direction as to where he's headed and I don't think this will fulfill him at all.

I could easily agree with this. I think a lot of people are looking for something to fill them up. I also he's in crisis mode and running scared.I think his father's death has him worried that any of the people he love could die in the middle of the night or at any moment and I think he's scared of being alone. Almost losing his mother has magnified that. I think part of the appeal of the Duggars for him (none for me) is he can marry, his wife will give birth to a quiver, he'll have hundreds nieces and nephews and never be alone.  

Edited by Temperance
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I have a soft spot for all the grandparent familiar endearments--Grammie, Nana, Grampie, Papa, MeeMaw, Grandad, Grandmama, Oma, Granny, Grandaddy, Opa, Pepere, Abuelita, Memere, Pop-Pop, Grandmother, Grandfather. More often than not they're just another word for LOVE.

 

My mother goes by Lovely :)

And my husband's Dad is "Paw-gaw" so "Paw-paw" doesn't strike me as odd at all. I don't know where Paw-gaw came from.

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(edited)

I know we are veering seriously off-topic, but the best grandmother name I ever heard came from one of my high school English students. Her family called their grandmother 'Sweet Mama.' I love that.

Edited by Mrs. P.
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I find it strange that Jerick have announced their departure from Arkansas, let alone the United States at this time, here's why: They have stated that they have been praying about this for while now, even though they said that they wanted to do mission work all along....if this is true, why did they ask for a "king's ransom" in wedding gifts across the board and furnish that house to the "t" like they were settlng in there for the next 30 years?  I think their statement that this overseas mission stuff "surprisingly" came about earlier than they had expected in "bull-oney"...I think it's damage control over the Josh situation....why have a baby "asap" only to take Izzy away from his "real grandma, Cathy"? I think that is thoughtless and selfish of them at this time..JMHO

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I don't think Cathy (or Jim Bob or Michelle) enters into their child planning thoughts at all. That just isn't part of Quiverful thinking. If they planned to leave in five years, they could be taking three or four children, one or more of whom might be really attached to Cathy, away. It's just not part of the culture. (Having just taken my own daughter overseas from my own mother, I'm certainly in no position to judge.)

I think Jill was caught up in the idea of owning things. She had been going to Gothard weddings for years and had watched other girls having their chance after owning nothing of their own, and I think she got terribly carried away with it to the point of absurdity. If she'd had actual parents who raise children, they might have stepped in and handled the situation in a classy way, but I feel they likely exploited it instead.

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Maybe I'm a horrible person, but I don't think a grandchild's proximity to their grandparents should have ANY bearing on the choices parents make.

 

Jill and Derrick need to consider Israel in their mission and life planning; but plenty of missionaries in very difficult places have families, many of them large.  Their family of 3 is what matters when they plan their life out.  They should not focus on making other people happy.

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Maybe I'm a horrible person, but I don't think a grandchild's proximity to their grandparents should have ANY bearing on the choices parents make.

 

Jill and Derrick need to consider Israel in their mission and life planning; but plenty of missionaries in very difficult places have families, many of them large.  Their family of 3 is what matters when they plan their life out.  They should not focus on making other people happy.

Doesn't make you a horrible person.  Makes you a normal person.  I had never heard before that the needs and desires of the grandparents should supercede everyone else's.  But I think those who suggested that were simply being comical, not serious.  At least, I hope so.  

 

I think, really, the only thing Jill's and Derrick's parents should have a say in is whether or not they continue to keep them on their health insurance plans.  Derrick is out anyway at the end of the year since he's now 26, though Jill probably still is on the Duggar family plan.  Not sure what they did for Israel, but that doesn't have anything to do with their parents.  International health insurance can be pricey, though.  

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On his website, Derick mentions that several months ago God unexpectedly presented him with an 'opportunity' to serve God. Would Derick consider a natural disaster an opportunity?

We don't really know that they're headed to Nepal, although I wouldn't rule it out.

A lot of people make commitments to serve others based on the felt needs of a people group that encounter natural disaster. The term "opportunity" isn't meant as anything more than a way to serve or be of some use to others.

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I could see that - thinking the disaster is his opportunity.

 

Are they selling all of their wedding presents to help raise money?  If they were truly thinking "all along" that they would be missionaries, then Jill should have worked for the 10 months she was waiting to get pregnant/delivery baby Iz.  But, no.  It s better that we give money than a woman work.

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I think the opportunity was offered by the pastor who runs SOS ministry.  He wants to install permanent missionaries in two locations and Derick, with his experience is a good choice.

 

And I think Derick isn't saying where he is going because he is waiting for SOS Minstries (or whatever it is called) to announce it.

 

I think that the earthquake eliminated Nepal as a choice.  It's no place for an infant.

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Do they think living in tents and not having clean water is an "opportunity?" I personally think it's a get away funded by lots of leghumpers. What if they don't get enough money to fund the trip? What if they get a lot of money and decide that living in a tent is not for them, do they keep the money? 

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We don't really know that they're headed to Nepal, although I wouldn't rule it out.

A lot of people make commitments to serve others based on the felt needs of a people group that encounter natural disaster. The term "opportunity" isn't meant as anything more than a way to serve or be of some use to others.

I can't really judge Derick on his missionary work, I have no idea what he did in Nepal. I just find it interesting that the opportunity arose a couple months ago, and considering his ability to support himself financially hasn't improved, he didn't receive a windfall, and he wasn't offered a job, and his devotion to mission work couldn't have been cranked up higher than it already was, he didn't have a change of heart, the only factor that would create an opportunity is a change of circumstances in the destination.
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Do they think living in tents and not having clean water is an "opportunity?" I personally think it's a get away funded by lots of leghumpers. What if they don't get enough money to fund the trip? What if they get a lot of money and decide that living in a tent is not for them, do they keep the money? 

 

None of the full time missionaries who have come through our church live in tents. They tend to live in modest, but often lavish compared to local, houses.  They often will need to boil and purify water before drinking it.

 

Where do you get the impression Derrick and Jill will live in tents?

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[employing sarcasm font] Response from Jill & Derick: Hey, you guys. Come on, we're 20-somethings! We have it ALL figured out - and nothing can happen! Don't worry! What is it about you old folks? Why can't you just relax? Why are you always so cautious, and worrying about every little thing that MIGHT happen?

THANK YOU. One has to imagine that poor Cathy is biting her tongue until it bleeds over the past year or so.

 

Earth to Jilly Muffin and derickdillard: You'd better bring twice as much money as you think you'll need and have a pretty good exit plan, too. Despite your obviously superior wisdom, shit happens. And you have NO financial or safety cushion in case it does.

 

Then again, what am I talking about? :eyeroll: They'll be departing with a lifetime supply of nail polish and a suitcase full of snack foods. Jilly Muffin is probably also convinced she'll be able to VBAC Izzy's brother or sister in a developing country, too.

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What do you mean "No safety cushion?"  Won't JimBoob come to their rescue if they need to evacuate?  He is the world's best father, don't ya know?!  (rrriiigghhhtttt)

 

Another reason not to contribute:  didn't they get paid for their appearances on TLC?  Jilly should have been collecting her own check ever since she became an adult at 18.  But they don't talk about the money.  They ask us for money, but won't talk about their paycheck!!!!!!

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If she'd had actual parents who raise children, they might have stepped in and handled the situation in a classy way, but I feel they likely exploited it instead.

One has to wonder how many of the 40+ sets of towels, three complete kitchen knife sets, etcetera actually ended up at the TTH. I think the Duggars used JM's wedding as their golden opportunity to restock.

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None of the full time missionaries who have come through our church live in tents. They tend to live in modest, but often lavish compared to local, houses. They often will need to boil and purify water before drinking it.

Where do you get the impression Derrick and Jill will live in tents?

There is probably a lack of housing in Nepal currently, but the Dillards would have the means to afford something better than tents. Their visas would probably depend on them showing evidence they have sufficient funds for their stay.
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I still think that Derick was in Nepal because his background was Southern Baptist and the SNC has had, for awhile now, an excellent ministry there with local pastors. I am skeptical that he grew up with a special calling to Nepal. Most missionaries I know are open to locations.

Duggars and Gothards aside, Derick's world has expanded a LOT in the past year. In both good and bad ways. He's probably had a lot more contact with other (non-Southern) Baptist mission groups, and perhaps some that are outside of the Baptist umbrella. I will be very surprised if they go back to Nepal.

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THANK YOU. One has to imagine that poor Cathy is biting her tongue until it bleeds over the past year or so.

 

Earth to Jilly Muffin and derickdillard: You'd better bring twice as much money as you think you'll need and have a pretty good exit plan, too. Despite your obviously superior wisdom, shit happens. And you have NO financial or safety cushion in case it does.

And some critical thinking/decision making skills for Jill. Girlfriend has NONE. She'll need them when she has limited support.

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I think the opportunity was offered by the pastor who runs SOS ministry.  He wants to install permanent missionaries in two locations and Derick, with his experience is a good choice.

 

And I think Derick isn't saying where he is going because he is waiting for SOS Minstries (or whatever it is called) to announce it.

 

I think that the earthquake eliminated Nepal as a choice.  It's no place for an infant.

This. I think that Schadt is expanding. Gotta keep up that nice house in Florida and kids in private schools. As I've said before, as late as May, when I last heard from my co-worker's daughter in Nepal (due to summer break at my job), no one was allowed into Nepal unless they had very specific disaster-relief skill sets. They sure as hell don't want more missionaries coming over to gum up the works. Derick may have experience in the country, and Jill some first-responder training, but they really don't have what the relief organizations are looking for right now. 

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None of the full time missionaries who have come through our church live in tents. They tend to live in modest, but often lavish compared to local, houses.  They often will need to boil and purify water before drinking it.

 

Where do you get the impression Derrick and Jill will live in tents?

Since the earthquake in Nepal aren't people living in tents? I thought there was a  lot of ruined properties that people can't go back to living in??

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Since the earthquake in Nepal aren't people living in tents? I thought there was a  lot of ruined properties that people can't go back to living in??

Well certainly yes, many people are.  But not every structure in the country was ruined, and many organizations have rebuilt temporary structures that are semi-permanent for their aid workers.

 

I just think it is a massive assumption to think that 1) Jill and Derrick are going to Nepal and 2) If they do, they would be living in tents.

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Well certainly yes, many people are.  But not every structure in the country was ruined, and many organizations have rebuilt temporary structures that are semi-permanent for their aid workers.

 

I just think it is a massive assumption to think that 1) Jill and Derrick are going to Nepal and 2) If they do, they would be living in tents.

Pure specualtion for discussion's sake. I have NO clue where they are going nor do I really care. I doubt where ever they go will be a year long thing since Jill has only been on week long mission/vacations I don't think she will survive a longer than two months.

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Pure specualtion for discussion's sake. I have NO clue where they are going nor do I really care. I doubt where ever they go will be a year long thing since Jill has only been on week long mission/vacations I don't think she will survive a longer than two months.

Headship Derick says it will be longer than 'typical short term'. He's been a bit flighty with God's input lately though, he may receive new instructions before a year has passed. I don't expect them to be there longer than a year, I don't think Jill could make it that long in any case.
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