Josh & Anna Smuggar: A Series of Unfortunate Events

[Zanzibar]

Megyn is on vacation.  Not sure when she's expected back, I think she was supposed to be gone 10 days.

[msblossom]

I hate what this is doing to Anna because she worships the ground Josh walks on, I can still picture her in their TH's when she's looking up at him adoringly like all the female Duggars do.

You all are right, she will be made to suck it up and stand by her man, guilted into it on all sides or risk being shunned as if she's the one in the wrong for walking away from her marriage to a sleeze bag cheating hypocrite. I bet she sees all the signs that she missed or made excuses for. I can't imagine being raised in that culture with no options and little to no support should she want to leave him. She is stuck, and made to make lemonade out of lemons.

[Lillybee]

Megyn is on vacation.  Not sure when she's expected back, I think she was supposed to be gone 10 days.

 

 

I know that this is off topic but there are rumors out there that MK is on forced leave because she was mean to The Donald during the debate.

 

However, I really would like to see her take on Josh's latest sex scandal.

[LilyoftheValley]

Josh doesn't need counseling or prayers or healing; he just needs to be single.  He obviously only liked the idea of marriage because it made him more powerful in his church. Also, he wanted to bang Anna and that was the only way he could do it. Otherwise, he is very obviously just not that into Anna and he clearly would rather be free.  So let him be free. Anna, if you want Josh to be happy then refuse to forgive him so that he has an "out" (believe me honey he will take it immediately) and let him go on in life as a single guy.  It's what he wants.  He no longer has the respect of being a perfect fundie married man, which was the only benefit he saw of being married.  

 

Though I feel badly for Anna, it is great that people are seeing the other side of all this.  So far we have seen the "happily married" couples "proving" that an uneducated teenage bride can have a great life getting married and pumping out kids.  The reality is that Anna's situation is just as likely to happen.  And Anna actually has some options!  She can write tell-all books and do interviews.  

[cereality]

I realize Michelle is a loon and doesn't care too much about her kids, but if she cares about any of them it's Josh. When he was getting married, she was gleeful in saying "leave and cleave baby." I wonder if it's because after the molestation and the light contracting therapy, she knew he still had issues and she was thinking -- good, he's Anna's problem now; if he cheats on her or abuses her or whatever she'll have to deal with it and put up with it like a good fundie wife -- but at least we won't have to worry about his issues anymore.

[sometimesy]

Anna doing interviews? She is a good person, from what we've seen but, NO personality. She is so seemingly unaware I am not sure her "tell all" would tell much. Her nature seems to require more privacy, not less. Just a guess from limited info.

Edited August 21, 2015 by sometimesy

[IntoTheMystic]

It wouldn't surprise me one bit if we find out Michelle is staying with Josh/Anna to help plead Josh's case and intercede on the Lord's behalf. 'Cause, I mean, she has all the answers as that THING'S mother, right?

Thanks for the kind words about me sharing a bit of my own experience with Quiverfulling to QueeringFully. ;) It wasn't easy and it was devastating but maybe just maybe some girl out there will read this and think twice about the lies she has been force fed by Gothard and his ilk.

The best thing Josh could do to make amends is to take a look at how he was raised and PURPOSE to raise his own kids differently. He needs to change his life, be true to who he actually is, and not try to preach at anyone ever again ... especially his own kids. 

[HumblePi]

This is what happens when people like Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar live as though they are morally superior to others. With 19 children, there's bound to be at least one black sheep in the flock that will ultimately discredit their smug, sanctimonious charade.  I don't give a damn about Michelle and Jim Bob. But I do feel a deep remorse for the younger Duggar children, Anna and her children, and the family of Anna. They have all been humiliated and will carry Josh's stigma along with him.

 

One thing this whole Duggar experience is good for is to remind us all that people like Michelle and Jim Bob with their fundamentalist preaching, rigid customs and beliefs, are all nothing but frauds. Like the saying goes "if it seems too good to be true, it probably is". People that are sanctimonious and self-righteous are probably just very insecure people attempting to make themselves look better than anyone else.

[3 is enough]

IIRC, Anna has a bachelor's degree in early childhood education from some unaccredited online Christian school, so it isn't worth much in the real world.

 

This second scandal does prove, IMO, just how potentially disastrous the whole practice of courting, marrying young, and pumping out lots of babies ASAP really can be.

 

Josh really, really, really, wanted sex and he married the first girl who would have him, because that was the only acceptable way for him to get what he wanted.  I think he did love Anna, but instead of having a few years of couple time, she was pregnant within a few months.  Safe to say their sex life probably took a bit of a hit. Then came the  baby, and anyone who has had a baby knows how that changes things in the bedroom.  Then  ANOTHER baby, and ANOTHER- he's only 25 and has THREE little ones- Anna is tired all the time, the kids wake up at inopportune times, and he is wondering what the hell happened.  Maybe she didn't exactly refuse him, but it just wasn't the same-more hurry up and finish before someone wakes up or comes wandering in.

 

Not excusing his actions for one second-  I still think he is a supreme douche bag- but I also do not think he was prepared for the reality of married life, Gothard style.   I always got the impression he was never on board having a huge family- he always said 2 or 3 would be fine.  But he essentially had no choice in the matter.  No education and dependent on Daddy to earn a living, and having 3 kids in 4 years- he was somewhat trapped.

 

The whole situation is just so sad, and although he is ultimately responsible for his actions, his upbringing did him no favors.

[Skyline]

[sara416]

This thread has moved very fast, so this may have been said already, but I'm going to say it anyway. One of my first snarky thoughts when this whole thing came out was that this is double scandal for the Duggars because they don't believe in credit either and Josh had a credit card!

 

Also, I'm voting for a tell all from Jana. She's so quiet, but you know she's just absorbing everything around her. I bet she has some stories that would blow people away. 

[Darknight]

It's Anna's fault Josh cheated. She wasn't serving him right. If only she had sex more and dropped her pants when she was making lunch or while she's pregnant. Poor Joshie wouldn't have cheated.

[HumblePi]

The whole situation is just so sad, and although he is ultimately responsible for his actions, his upbringing did him no favors.

This abnormal thinking about sex was created because Michelle and Jim Bob preached to their children that sex is something to hide or be ashamed of. Sex is something that is natural. It's something they should have been open about with their children rather than make every attempt to shield them from it. Parents should be honest with their children and not hold them to standards of behavior and dress that are so rigid that no human could possibly mature normally in a sexual way. Suppression of a cough in church is right. Suppression of sexual thoughts and actions are wrong.

[Darknight]

IIRC, Anna has a bachelor's degree in early childhood education from some unaccredited online Christian school, so it isn't worth much in the real world.

This second scandal does prove, IMO, just how potentially disastrous the whole practice of courting, marrying young, and pumping out lots of babies ASAP really can be.

Josh really, really, really, wanted sex and he married the first girl who would have him, because that was the only acceptable way for him to get what he wanted. I think he did love Anna, but instead of having a few years of couple time, she was pregnant within a few months. Safe to say their sex life probably took a bit of a hit. Then came the baby, and anyone who has had a baby knows how that changes things in the bedroom. Then ANOTHER baby, and ANOTHER- he's only 25 and has THREE little ones- Anna is tired all the time, the kids wake up at inopportune times, and he is wondering what the hell happened. Maybe she didn't exactly refuse him, but it just wasn't the same-more hurry up and finish before someone wakes up or comes wandering in.

Not excusing his actions for one second- I still think he is a supreme douche bag- but I also do not think he was prepared for the reality of married life, Gothard style. I always got the impression he was never on board having a huge family- he always said 2 or 3 would be fine. But he essentially had no choice in the matter. No education and dependent on Daddy to earn a living, and having 3 kids in 4 years- he was somewhat trapped.

The whole situation is just so sad, and although he is ultimately responsible for his actions, his upbringing did him no favors.

Which is why you don't marry for sex or suppress your sons sexual desires. I'm kinda happy this happened. The duggars were too stuck up. Anna did everything right and guess what??? Josh still cheated. Josh did everything right. Guess what??? Getting married didn't do shit.

[Maharincess]

I always find it so entertaining when Satan manages to have his way with these oh-so-godly types. Meanwhile, little old non-churchgoer me just passed my 26th wedding anniversary, having managed not to cheat on my hub without even trying. Go figure.

Little old atheist me has also been in a monogamous, happy 26 year relationship (had our 26th anniversary on May 15th) but we aren't married and have no plans to be married.

We haven't cheated on each other and have a great loving, caring, happy relationship all without religion of any kind.

[HumblePi]

The 'barometer' of Josh and Anna's marriage will be how many more babies Anna will give birth to in the next few years. I bet there won't be a baby being born in the Josh and Anna Duggar home every 2 years. If there's no new baby by 2017 then their marriage is in deep doo-doo.

[Darknight]

Josh doesn't need counseling or prayers or healing; he just needs to be single. He obviously only liked the idea of marriage because it made him more powerful in his church. Also, he wanted to bang Anna and that was the only way he could do it. Otherwise, he is very obviously just not that into Anna and he clearly would rather be free. So let him be free. Anna, if you want Josh to be happy then refuse to forgive him so that he has an "out" (believe me honey he will take it immediately) and let him go on in life as a single guy. It's what he wants. He no longer has the respect of being a perfect fundie married man, which was the only benefit he saw of being married.

Though I feel badly for Anna, it is great that people are seeing the other side of all this. So far we have seen the "happily married" couples "proving" that an uneducated teenage bride can have a great life getting married and pumping out kids. The reality is that Anna's situation is just as likely to happen. And Anna actually has some options! She can write tell-all books and do interviews.

I agree. Josh should get a divorce and just be free. He can have one night stands if he wants. He can explore, watch porn, pay for strippers. Sex with other people isn't bad. Unfortunately his cult fucked him up.

[dillpickles]

Let's not be too hard on Josh, after all... Anna did say practice makes progress, and Josh has been practicing.

[Maharincess]

actually, satan is after whomever he can get. it doesn't matter how big or small your celebrity status is.

LOL!

[Maharincess]

Anna married a man who told her he molested girls, his own sisters, one as young as five, and had children with him. Even if she didn't get the whole story when she married him, she stayed with him with the grisly details became public and she's keeping her own girls in the line of fire of someone with an ongoing, disgusting history. Anna deserves it.

Thank you!!!! This is exactly Anna does not now and never will have my sympathy, I felt bad for her for a brief second until I really thought about it. Yeah she was raised to believe blah, blah, blah but anybody with any sense of right and wrong would have run from Josh. Anybody with a half a brain wouldn't marry and have kids with somebody who molested 5 young girls, one of which was 5.

If her parents had told her she had to marry him, she knows from her sister that she has choices and can leave.

I agree that she deserves what she gets. The kids are the only ones I feel bad for. In my opinion they are the only innocent ones.

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

I've read several news articles and studies about how first-born children are usually the most successful children in a family.

(for example- http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/apr/26/firstborn-children-excel-study-reveals)

If that's true, the Duggars should really be ashamed at what their firstborn has "accomplished," such as bringing down their little fundie "empire" and destroying their brand. What's going to follow with the rest of the kids?

Edited August 21, 2015 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[HumblePi]

Serious stuff aside, flash forward 40 years, I have a mental image of Josh Duggar at age 67.

 

[dillpickles]

I've read several news articles and studies about how first-born children are usually the most successful children in a family.

(for example- http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/apr/26/firstborn-children-excel-study-reveals)

If that's true, the Duggars should really be ashamed at what their firstborn has "accomplished," such as bringing down their little fundie "empire" and destroying their brand. What's going to follow with the rest of the kids?

Jessa will become a stripper, she needs the male attention from someone who won't fire and brimstone her. John-David will become a drug dealer, Jinger will be a hippie photographer, and Jana? Oh, we don't *talk* about her.

(Its always the quiet ones)

Serious stuff aside, flash forward 40 years, I have a mental image of Josh Duggar at age 67.

Too skinny for Joshy boy.

[cmr2014]

This abnormal thinking about sex was created because Michelle and Jim Bob preached to their children that sex is something to hide or be ashamed of. Sex is something that is natural. It's something they should have been open about with their children rather than make every attempt to shield them from it. Parents should be honest with their children and not hold them to standards of behavior and dress that are so rigid that no human could possibly mature normally in a sexual way. Suppression of a cough in church is right. Suppression of sexual thoughts and actions are wrong.

 

Actually, I agree and disagree here. I certainly agree that all of the no looking (NIKE!), no touching, no kissing before marriage is damaging. At the same time, they expose their children to their own relentless hyper-sexuality. It's important for children to be exposed to the idea that Mommy and Daddy love each other and are phsically affectionate with each other, but their endless talking about their own sex lives -- Mommy's cycle calendar on the fridge and the infamous dry-humping at the putt putt course come ti mind -- is just as inappropriate.

 

All parents make mistakes, but JB and J'chelle are such sanctamonious blow-hards that it is really hard to have much compassion for them. I also can't get past the fact that after they found out that their son was molesting their daughters, the made NO changes to the way they parent (or fail to parent) their children, and went on to have SEVEN more children.

[BatmanBeatles]

 

One of my first snarky thoughts when this whole thing came out was that this is double scandal for the Duggars because they don't believe in credit either and Josh had a credit card!

Holy cow, I didn't think of that. Hypocrisy all around.

[cheatincheetos]

I love that he described himself as "pure."

 

Oh, he's pure something, all right.

[JoanArc]

*snort*

This needs to be this topic's subtitle.

Edited August 21, 2015 by JoanArc

[cheatincheetos]

*snort*

This needs to be this topic's subtitle.

That poster looks closer to what Josh wet-dreamed when he signed up than to the real wimmins he managed to pull.

ChickTract-Fil-A.

[kokapetl]

There's no chance any of their kids will grow chins. Edited August 21, 2015 by Kokapetl

[denisett]

Any guesses as to what Josh's "O" face looks like?

[GeeGolly]

I feel bad for Anna. Whether or not she knowingly married someone who "inappropriately touched" his sisters. She was young, naive, and had the approval of her parents. I don't believe her poor choice in marrying Josh makes her deserving of all this. I can't imagine how hard these last few months have been for her. Her husband loses his job while she is pregnant with her 4th child, he loses his 2nd income the day she delivers, and now she is 1 month postpartum, and she finds out her husband is a cheating sleazebag. All that is bad enough on its own, and she has to do it with the world watching.

 

Gothard, quiverfull, fundamentalism, and whatever else factored into this shit storm, doesn't change how bad I feel for Anna or any other woman having to go through this.

[NextIteration]

I got a beating to end all beatings once for looking at a Sears catalog that showed women in their panties and bras. I still have scars on my lower back from that one. 

 

Hugs, what an awful experience.

 

Late back to the party but given all of the edits, I think all manner of things sexually were going on for Josh, probably professionals, affairs, pornography (and masturbation) and webcam girls.  He appears to be a sexual addict to me, and that takes a lot of therapy to heal.  Real therapy - not Gothardite nonsense.  Anna must be feeling humiliated.  I would hope that this secular problem would be met by a secular answer, divorce.  She can write a huge tell-all about all the nonsense, if she'd just open her eyes, and it seems like she's had enough exposure to the outside world to understand this.  I can't have much sympathy for her if she martyrs herself and stays within the insane restraints of this cult.

 

If Josh doesn't get real secular therapy - this will happen again and again, and even if he does the recidivism rate is appallingly high.

As to work for Josh?  Once he's gone through some sort of rehab (and a rather lengthy one) Televangelism.

[GeeGolly]

I'm not sure that Josh has a sex addiction. For most people sexual exploration is gradual; masturbation, National Geographic, Playboy, kissing, 1st base, etc, and porn and actual sex. He wasn't allowed any of that and even thinking about it was considered sinful. I think his recent behaviors of the last 5 years is equivalent to (not the same as) college like behaviors of partying too hard. Only in Josh's case he harmed a lot more people than just himself.

 

Just my opinion, and I don't think JB & M would have insight or own any responsibility in why Josh acts like he does. They would probably rather he has an addiction.

 

And yup, National Geographic & 1st base, I'm old.

[NextIteration]

Josh has displayed classic signs of addiction - pursuing his fix to the detriment of his family, his professional life and his well being.

 

Masturbating to porn a couple times a week isn't it, cheating on your wife isn't it, but a compulsion to continue down multiple avenues with no ability to stop?  That's it.

Edited August 21, 2015 by NextIteration

[CofCinci]

The Hackers have posted more files. http://arstechnica.com/security/2015/08/2nd-dump-from-ashley-madison-hack-is-2x-includes-ceo-e-mail/

[NextIteration]

@CofCinci - most of that second dump is emails and org charts and internal business information of Avid.  I think all the "juicy" data was released in the first dump.

 

I watched an interview last night that indicated that other "big names" have been identified but they are being handled more quietly for whatever reason.  I remain sort of surprised that Josh was the first one out of the gate, but I think the hypocrisy factor was just too high.  Chris Hayes interviewed Dan Savage last night and Dan said he thought that the "average guy" should be left alone, only those that espouse "higher morality" and engage in finger pointing deserve exposure.  I guess Josh's outing was Dan's theory in action.

[WhineandCheez]

Quiverfulling to QueeringFully. ;)

 

Tee Hee, IntotheMystic..  Glad life is happy now!  And your avatar, if that's really your pup, he/she looks like a very wise guru.

 

I don't think Anna has the ability to become a speaker.  Maybe she can pull herself up by her bootstaps and grow a set for her kids sake.

[magpye29]

It's something they should have been open about with their children rather than make every attempt to shield them from it.

 

At the same time, they expose their children to their own relentless hyper-sexuality. It's important for children to be exposed to the idea that Mommy and Daddy love each other and are phsically affectionate with each other, but their endless talking about their own sex lives -- Mommy's cycle calendar on the fridge and the infamous dry-humping at the putt putt course come ti mind -- is just as inappropriate.

 

It isn't just that they talk about it, they TAUNT about it. EVERYTHING JB and J'C do in public is a neener-neener-neener swipe at their kids. Look at us! We can do this, but you can't! Frankly, I think it borders on abusive, but even if it isn't, it's spiteful and childish and waaay TMI for kids about their parents, especially when every normal expression of fondness is ruthlessly squelched and suppressed by those skeevy-ass horndogs.

[phoenix62]

This is what happens when people like Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar live as though they are morally superior to others. With 19 children, there's bound to be at least one black sheep in the flock that will ultimately discredit their smug, sanctimonious charade.  I don't give a damn about Michelle and Jim Bob. But I do feel a deep remorse for the younger Duggar children, Anna and her children, and the family of Anna. They have all been humiliated and will carry Josh's stigma along with him.

 

One thing this whole Duggar experience is good for is to remind us all that people like Michelle and Jim Bob with their fundamentalist preaching, rigid customs and beliefs, are all nothing but frauds. Like the saying goes "if it seems too good to be true, it probably is". People that are sanctimonious and self-righteous are probably just very insecure people attempting to make themselves look better than anyone else.

I signed in to say what you said, and you said it better than me:D mind, I think a lot of people with rigid belief systems mean well but ultimately do harm to the children...but I suspect this couple (meaning Joshe's parents) was abusing the trust and kindness of the people in their religious circle, and when they managed to get in the public eye, they took full advantage of the network. I don't bad AT ALL for TLC, they knew what they were dealing with, I'm sure....but I do feel terrible for the children. Mind, I'm not excusing the oldest one (Josh) one iota, but I'm sure he needs counciling...and plenty of it. I feel terrible for his children. Poor kids. I always thought his little ones were adorable, especially little Mikey.

[ChocolateAddict]

Most of my opinions have been covered by everyone else but here is my 2c anyway.  

Josh is a lying, cheating dickhead who is less qualified than my desk to comment on relationships and morality. At least my desk came from an environmentally sustainable source.  Josh on the other hand, allowed his sisters, wife and parents to go on national TV and talk about how much he changed.  All the while, he knew that he had broken the most basic idea of marriage - monogamy.  Even if he only side-hugged a girl on Ashley Madison he made a concerted effort to have an affair and judging from the statement, it went further than hand-holding.  

That said, J'Chelle and Boob should (but won't) recognise that for some people, courting, early marriage and kids isn't what they want.  Josh was driven into early marriage and the path that Boob and J'Chelle thought best without actually considering what he wanted.  This by no means an excuse, Josh was the one that got down on one knee and promised to be faithful, no one held a gun to his head.  But there was pressure on him and Anna to be the perfect examples of successful courting - they saved their first kiss for marriage, had plenty of blessings and Anna was a SAHM who homeschooled them.  Some people just aren't suited to that life and Josh seems to be one of them.  In my ungodly heathen mind, Josh should have been given the opportunity to sow his wild oats before settling down.  As it is, he ended up doing so after because it probably seemed exciting and a change from the boring domestic home life.  It just goes to show that for all their Godly courting ways, the Duggars still ended up with an adulterer.  IMO the strict and boring way that the kids were bought up probably contributed to the whole thing.  

That said, Josh is still a dickhead who cheated on his probably pregnant wife through an online dating service, no less.  Combined with the fact that he molested his sisters AND made himself the arbiter of morality makes him a waste of space in my books (and I'm being generous!).  

With Anna, we don't know that she doesn't hate Josh and wish that she could leave.  Since the molestation scandal we have seen a  scripted media release and probably carefully scripted social media postings.  It may be the case, as unlikely as it is, that Josh has been sleeping on the lounge for the last few months.  I would hope that behind closed doors, Anna isn't nearly as adoring as people think.  I hope that she has the self-worth to realise that this is 150% on Josh and his inability to keep it in his pants.

Edited August 21, 2015 by ChocolateAddict

[dorcastrilling]

According to their bio on their website -- she homeschooled and graduated high school; I seem to remember her saying something about studying "early childhood education" but she married so young that I'm betting it was some online courses until a suitor came along, not an actual classroom education -- which is what you'd need to teach. I don't see her being able to get a job at a school unless it's a teacher's aide or cafeteria worker -- and honestly I think waitressing would be more lucrative than that.

It would be. I have degrees, and since becoming widowed have found that falling back on that is what allows me to remain independent. If I can be doing it at 60, Anna can be doing it now.

 

Anna is exactly who social services exist for. She would qualify for subsidized housing and child care, as well as food stamps and medicaid. Let the state go after Josh. There are programs for women like Anna coming out of horrible situations that would provide voc re-hab. Problem is someone being able to get this information to her.

 

First and foremost, she has to be made to realize she is not to blame.

[NEGirl]

I feel so sorry for Anna - she and the kids do not deserve this. I for one minute do not believe she knew the whole story of Josh molesting his sisters. She was probably given a sanitized version of what happened and not told the truth until they family was told In Touch was going to break the story - thus the devastated Anna we saw on the last show. I also do not think she is as naive or lame as she pretends to be. I also believe her statement about knowing the whole story about the molestation was written for her and not her words. I believe that she really loves Josh and he probably loves her too. However, she has to realize you can't change a cheater and this must be devastating for her.  The conditions in that house now must be a nightmare. Boob and MeChelle created this nightmare and now Anna and her kids have to live with it.

Edited August 21, 2015 by NEGirl

[NoThyme]

Can you imagine if this scandal hit first while the show was still on tv? I imagine the ratings surge would be huge! I feel bad for any wife finding out that her husband has been having an affair. What makes this really creepy is that this is an online affair for the purpose of sex. He paid for it! What makes it even worse is that the whole world knows about it, how humiliating. I feel bad for Anna. I hope that this isn't seen as a failing on Anna to keep her man sexually satisfied.  I wonder if Josh had a normal upbringing with school and male friends who hid in the shed reading Playboy, had a few girlfriends and wasn't forced into marriage if his life would have turned out to be normal. The same for the other children in the family. I can't imagine being raised as a Duggar or in that climate.    

[Hana Chan]

Well, according to a report in the NY Daily News, Anna will "absorb blame" over Josh's behavior.

 

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/anna-duggar-absorb-blame-cheating-hubby-report-article-1.2332918

 

This is precisely why my sympathy for Anna is so limited. It's that she totally buys the bullshit proposition that if a man strays, it's because his wife isn't giving him what he needs at home. So to someone trapped in that belief, of course it's at least partly her fault that Josh was having affairs and trolling for porn.

 

Anna strikes me as being the least sexually adventurous woman on the planet. That even in the confines of marriage, there's no room for exploration and just mutual pleasure. No, it's all about missionary position with the lights off and hoping that you made a baby.  That's not totally her fault - she's a product of her upbringing. The problem is that her lox of a husband is looking outside the marriage for something a bit more interesting. I don't know what was going on behind closed doors and if Josh was asking for the occasional bj, with Anna refusing because there was no way his little spermies would make it through her digestive tract and make a baby, but one of three things was going on. Either Josh was asking for something more and not getting it, or he wasn't telling her that he wasn't fulfilled (because he didn't know how), or he made the choice not to tell her because he knew that she would not be able to go along with it. So rather than burdening his "beloved" wife and mother of his children with his unsavory desires, he turned to sinful women.

 

That doesn't mean that I'm letting Anna totally off the hook here. Being boring in bed does not excuse being cheated on if both expressed the same beliefs and expectations about their sex lives. But what happens now is entirely in her hands. In less then four months, she's shouldered the bombshell that her husband had molested several of his sisters and now that he had repeatedly been unfaithful to her. There comes a point when a grown ass woman should accept that her husband's poor behavior has nothing to do with her or her lack of sexual curiosity. It's all on him. Whether she divorces him or stays in the marriage is one thing, but this sickening assuming responsibility for his behavior just shows how toxic this religious mindset really is.

[Marigold]

I agree. I bet she knew very little of the molestation case when they were courting.  Just that it was a front hug instead of a side hug. Through the clothes.

 

I still think Anna might leave. She has sisters who left such a rigid system...she might have the guts. 

And I think Joshie will be leaving for some treatment program for at least 6 months.  Boob and Mechelle are gonna dump him asap. 

 

I bet Jim Bob is spitting on Josh right now. Anna might be crying and her world is turned around.  Jim Bob? I bet he is LIVID. Josh essentially destroyed their entire family. Jim Bob is a competitive man and likes to look good. Josh needs to be more worried about his father than Anna. Jim Bob and those church elders can dish out a spiteful punishment....

[Katydid]

http://www.people.com/article/jim-bob-duggar-michelle-duggar-stunned-josh-duggar-cheating-pornography-scandal

Well, they've started blaming the evil internet and other "outside influences". Saw that one coming. I bet the J'littles still living at the TTH will never see a computer again under that roof. Boob and Mechelle will look like prohibitionists hacking moonshine stills as they destroy every evil instrument of temptation (computer) in the house. And yet I guarantee they are also the types that subscribe to the "guns don't kill, people do!" mantra. And yet once again, Joshy is practically given a free pass from any personal responsibility.

[Oldernowiser]

I don't excuse him squat. I don't care if Anna has had a headache since day two of their marriage. She has had four of his babies, has had to move to follow his "career," and has worshipped the idiot ground this chowderhead has walked on.

Watch your stupid porn, asshole, but keep it at home. This isn't just about morality...this is their livelihood, their religion, their lifestyle, their family, their image, their children's future...it's EVERYTHING. He threw all that away for an orgasm.

Besides, if she's ever refused him anything I'd be surprised and actually hopeful that she might find a spine yet.

ETA: Oy, that People article. "Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar 'Stunned' by Son Josh Cheating, Pornography Scandal: 'They So Strictly Limit Their Exposure to These Sorts of Outside Influences,' Says Source." HE'S TWENTY-SEVEN.

Maybe that's the real problem here. He's never been allowed to grow up and he liked it that way just fine.

Edited August 21, 2015 by Oldernowiser

[Skittl1321]

 

IIRC, Anna has a bachelor's degree in early childhood education from some unaccredited online Christian school, so it isn't worth much in the real world.

I thought this too- but I cannot find ANYTHING that names the school. If she had any sort of degree, even if most of us don't think it is worth a grain of salt, it seems like it would be in the family bio.

Could this blind item today posted by blindgossip.com be about Josh and Anna?

http://blindgossip.com/?p=73291

[blind Gossip] In what may come as a bit of a surprise, this celebrity’s wife is actually breathing a sigh of relief now that the public knows that her husband is a low-down, dirty dog!

Even though she also committed adultery in their relationship, he will look petty and retaliatory if he brings up her cheating during divorce proceedings.

Therefore, it looks like she is going to be able to walk away from the marriage with the money, the kids… AND and a clean reputation!

NO way.  There won't be divorce proceedings.

[graefin]

This is precisely why my sympathy for Anna is so limited. It's that she totally buys the bullshit proposition that if a man strays, it's because his wife isn't giving him what he needs at home. So to someone trapped in that belief, of course it's at least partly her fault that Josh was having affairs and trolling for porn.

 

Anna strikes me as being the least sexually adventurous woman on the planet. That even in the confines of marriage, there's no room for exploration and just mutual pleasure. No, it's all about missionary position with the lights off and hoping that you made a baby. 

I see these two statements as completely contradictory. If the proposition that it's the woman's fault that a man cheats is "bullshit," then it's not her fault, period. Saying that Josh strayed because Anna is "the least sexually adventurous woman on the planet" *is* blaming her and stems from the same patriarchal, sexist mindset the Duggars are being (deservedly) criticized for.

[msblossom]

I think the likelihood of Anna moving on without Josh is slim. But who thinks Josh will stop now? I'm sure he's probably been guilt ridden for some time and was unable to put a stop to the hypocrisy and living a double life. What, he's all the sudden gonna shape up and live the moral life now? I think he'll sincerely try, but I'm doubtful he'll be very successful with it in the long-term without some form of serious therapy that involves more than throwing bible verses at him and prayer. I'm all for prayer and meditating on scripture, but not to the exclusion of trained psychological secular therapy. Will he get it? Probably not. And the cycle continues...this ain't over by a long shot, IMO.