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Josh & Anna Smuggar: A Series of Unfortunate Events


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Ok - for all the psychiatrists out there... There is a lot of talk about Josh's children and worries about their safety. Obviously that's a legitimate question but Josh was 14 when he fondled his sisters. It's that a psychologically different thing than a man who molests a child in terms of 'once a pedophile always a pedophile?'.

I am a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. Almost always, sexual molestation of a minor is about power and control. If Josh molested young girls over a three year period, I would predict that he is likely to do it again. I would definitely never allow him to be alone with any child, male or female. And although it is about control, it is also about sex. If he had any sexual thrill and/or gratification, and I'm sure he did, he now "knows" he can do that again to get the same outcome. I'll repeat it:  I would never allow him to be alone with a child again.

  • Love 22

OK, I have admittedly only caught snippets here and there of this show...maybe 1 hour total when you put it all together.

 

Do Michelle and JB REALLY dry hump each other in front of the kids?

 

They did at least once - and TLC broadcast it. Several late night shows, Jimmy Fallon was one, did bits on it. Search using keywords "duggars golf course" on YouTube. Until I saw it, I thought everyone had been mis-interpreting or exaggerating. They weren't.

  • Love 9

I have so many mixed feelings on this. I feel mostly bad for the girls, and any child who grew up in a circus like that without the say so. I already think it is borderline child abuse to have 19 kids (my family was actually acquainted with the Beardsleys of Yours, Mine and Ours who had 20 kids and they have spoken about how having 19 siblings has been VERY difficult) and then making them appear on TV is also pretty shitty. Also, making your kid live with their abuser and "forgive him" is shitty (I actually wrote a book about this very topic, but I'll refrain from naming it because I don't want to make it seem like I am pimping out my book in the wake of something so awful).

 

The thing with Josh, though, is that yes he may have been 14, but was he actually 14 in the head? With his crazy upbringing, he may have been functioning at a MUCH lower level. That being said, he did need to take responsibility for his actions--but his parents needed to take even more responsibility since he was a minor. It needed to be investigated why he did this (Did he think it was okay? Had HE been molested?) as did the the role of the parents. I'm sure everyone involved ended up feeling dirty and shamed, especially the way the family treats sex. Everyone involved, including Michelle and Jim Bob, should have had therapy to cope with this. A stern talking to is not enough and sending someone to do manual labor doesn't fix any issues.

 

On the flip side, I do feel really bad for the family, especially everyone on my Facebook who is talking about how they don't understand why any self-respecting woman would ever watch the show, celebrating their cancelation, etc. There are a fuckload of people in that family and a buttload of them who are being punished for something they didn't do. However, making taking the cameras away is a good thing?

 

I don't know. And I don't know why I'm feeling so conflicted. That in itself makes me feel bad, that I am conflicted.

  • Love 4
Is it okay to list sponsors so for people that might want to write to them? I know there were several sponsors on the that I shop with frequently and I'm sure most posters could find a personal connection to a few as well and maybe have an impact.

I don't think that's necessary. If someone feels that strongly, they can probably find that information on internet somewhere. A link to where a list is posted is fine. But we don't need a list of all the advertisers.

  • Love 1

Like Bitter Apple, I also have mixed feelings. I'm not sure that the sisters and Josh hate each other or haven't genuinely forgiven him. I don't think they are uncomfortable around him. And I don't think his children are in any danger.

I think canceling the show will mean a childhood of loneliness for the youngest children. The only chance they have of getting the help they need is keeping them in the public eye, and they will simply be even more ignored.

I think Michelle and possibly Jill are at risk for depression, if they aren't already there.

Not saying to keep the show on the air. At this point, it's now a very different show. But cutting it off suddenly will create a strong ripple effect that has a lot more to do than seeing Jim Bob, Michelle and Josh finally get humiliated.

Well said.  And I do feel sorry for all of them.  Their world has been turned upside down and inside out.  IMO their belief in God is genuine (no matter how they interpret it and live their lives accordingly).  I pray He will give them the strength they need to move on, whatever the future may hold.  I cannot be gleeful about this or point to them shouting 'hypocrites'. I can't join in the chorus of 'they brought it on themselves because they have lived their lives on a television program'.  It's a tragedy all around.

  • Love 7

Well said.  And I do feel sorry for all of them.  Their world has been turned upside down and inside out.  IMO their belief in God is genuine (no matter how they interpret it and live their lives accordingly).  I pray He will give them the strength they need to move on, whatever the future may hold.  I cannot be gleeful about this or point to them shouting 'hypocrites'. I can't join in the chorus of 'they brought it on themselves because they have lived their lives on a television program'.  It's a tragedy all around.

The parents are hypocites who brought it on to themselves. The kids are not. The kids didn't choose this. 

  • Love 17

You know, I don't want to see Josh on TV, making excuses, crying crocodile tears. I'd watch the older girls with Oprah, or Diane Sawyer. Unfiltered. Without Mama or Daddy present.  Unfortunately, they'd be afraid of being shunned and would tow the party line. I would love for Jinger or Jana to say, "Fuck it. I'm out. Here's how everything went down."   

 

I'd also love to eat chocolate all day, never gain an ounce, and have it served to me on my bed of money by Patrick Dempsey.

 

I wonder if this is a cancellation, or just a temporary pull from the schedule. 

 

 

 

 

Oh Christ. I fucking HATE the Amish and Gypsy shows. 

 

Look out for more marathons of My 600 Pound Life!  

NOOOOOO     I am still trying to forget the Brian Boitano spread eagle.

  • Love 2

One other thing I forgot to add. M & JB say the girls dress modestly so boys won't have impure thoughts. Why was it always up to the girls?! That was something they should not have had to worry about in their home!

So many thoughts. ..can't get them all fast enough!

On the latest episode I saw that Jessa was wearing a sleeveless dress. Was that a subtle fuck you to the modesty code?

  • Love 4
(edited)

 

To the previous suggestion that Oprah give each girl $1million, unfortunately money doesn't solve people's problems. Look at lottery winners. Just handing out cash can easily lead to a path of self destruction, especially if they have grown up without having any tools whatsoever to handle money of their own.

My reasoning was this - $1,000,000 to each kid sans Josh, not just the victims. Those girls will need 2x a week psychotherapy for a long time. Not cheap with a good therapist. The unmarried don't even have their own underwear, and the marrieds have kids on the way. They all deserve the option to move out on their own/together or stay, and damn it, I don't think JB will give them a dime. He owes them money but has been hoarding/spending it on himself. That won't change. I don't think the kids will be spendthrift lotto winners. Hell, it probably cost Josie well over a million just to make it out the cradle.

 

This timeline is excellent for those of us that are confused:

 

http://defamer.gawker.com/the-web-has-known-about-josh-duggar-for-years-when-did-1706258269

Edited by JoanArc
  • Love 3

I also feel slightly conflicted about this. What Josh did was wrong, period. Jim Bob and Michelle handled it horribly. I do think the show should be canceled, but I wonder how it will affect the victims as well as the other innocent family members. I hope his victims can get professional counseling, and are reassured that none of this is their fault.

I question whether there is anything Josh can to NOW to redeem himself or rehabilitate himself ( not rhetorical, btw)? I would hate to think that he is hopeless. I would hate to think of the repercussions for his family (and even his victims) if he were to harm himself.

I don't know. And I don't know why I'm feeling so conflicted. That in itself makes me feel bad, that I am conflicted.

 

Because we actually LIKE most of the kids, save for Josh. Truth be told, I'll miss the show a bit. I just hate the parents and the Molester.  We're actually concerned about what happens to some of the Duggar kids, especially the girls, who may be blamed for this, particularly by their crackpot mother.  Unlike some of the Gosselins who supposedly hated the cameras, the Duggar kids seemed to enjoy it. Figure 8 and TLC gave them SOME exposure to the outside world, and gave them a life.  

 

I think most of us are worried about them. 

  • Love 20

Jim Bob is so obsessed with his children's sex lives, I can't help but wonder if Josh was molested or inadvertently "taught" it was ok to obsess about his sister's "sex lives" too. A 14 year old boy is usually not a monster...but Josh's parents sure are.

I've been wondering that as well. If you go by the assumption that he had little to no sex education, monitoring of the books he's reading and the Internet and in the movement, it is pretty easy to cover up something like that...AND that although he was 14, he may have been operating on the level of a 9 or 10 year old. It is possible he was repeating something that happened to him.

  • Love 1
(edited)

Because we actually LIKE most of the kids, save for Josh. Truth be told, I'll miss the show a bit. I just hate the parents and the Molester.  We're actually concerned about what happens to some of the Duggar kids, especially the girls, who may be blamed for this, particularly by their crackpot mother.  Unlike some of the Gosselins who supposedly hated the cameras, the Duggar kids seemed to enjoy it. Figure 8 and TLC gave them SOME exposure to the outside world, and gave them a life.  

 

I think most of us are worried about them. 

I definitely am. Although some of the girls are VERY different from me politically and religously, they still seem like sweet girls deep down and wish they could have more of a choice for their life.

Edited by marylennox
  • Love 3

I think they are regurgitating what they were told more than believing it. I thought the mob was responsible for the deaths of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman because my mother (bless her heart) was the world's funniest conspiracy theorists. As a child, I was thoroughly convinced of some of the nonsense she came up with because I was not old enough (or wise enough) to know I could just go read and form my own opinion.  

  • Love 1

I have a feeling that what those girls are feeling today is guilt. They have been brainwashed to believe that they are seductors. That they can defraud men  for doing little more than  existing...

And the boys. Let talk about the other boys. Their society basically teaches them that they are not in control of themselves,That they are potential molestors and rapists. A woman can cause them to lose their minds, by just exisiting.  This hurts the boys in this society too.

How utterly helpless all of these kids must feel. This is why they cling to their brand of Christianity so tightly. It's the only hope they have, and yet, conversly it's what destroys them.

DIsclaimer. I am ONLY referring to their messed up version of religion and not speaking of al religion

  • Love 16
(edited)
I'm sure Jim Bob and Michelle made the girls feel like they did something wrong to cause Josh to molest them. Remember, it's the woman's responsibility not to wear provocative clothing that might cause a man to look at her lasciviously. This has got to be a major factor in Jana not having the self-confidence and self-esteem to get the hell out of there. Those girls are carrying their brother's shame.

 

This is what scares me the most. Michelle has brought out that mowing-in-bikini story line SO many times. It's quite clear that the entire house is taught to feel that women are responsible for the thoughts/desires of men. It makes me so sick to think of some of the conversations that might have had with the girls, making them feel as if they were at fault. Ugh. Josh deserves the scorn he's getting, but this is part of a much bigger problem - the super sick, repressive sexual views in these fundie religions. 

Edited by ghoulina
  • Love 7

I was always "meh" about Josh, but I thought Anna was good with her children.  I was really hoping they would be able to stay in DC and avoid being near his family, but that seems impossible now.  I am disappointed that Derrick and Jill didn't get a small 2-3 bedroom apartment closer to his job, but maybe this will be the catalyst to get Derrick and Ben to move away, although I doubt it.  And if Jill was the one who "tattled" on Josh, then good for her. I am not optimistic that any of them can break away Meechelle and JimBoob, though.  One of them could make quite a few bucks with a tell-all book.  And this does seem to explain Jana.

  • Love 1

Jeez, I leave this forum for one day to read all the posts about the Survivor finale and I come back to this......

 

Would Anna truly have no resources if she left Josh?  I understand that she has few marketable skills and would have 4 small children to raise, but what about alimony and child support? Surely they have that in Arkansas.

Why would she leave though?  She knew this and it is dealt with.  

I never post about this show, but I have greatly enjoyed reading all of the snark from you guys. Well, those days are over. No longer is there anything to snark about on this show. This whole situation with Josh makes me sick. I feel horrible for his victims, his wife and his children, but I'm having a very hard time mustering up any sympathy for Josh, and especially not his "parents."

 

Yes, Josh was a victim to some degree, given the ultra-repressive atmosphere JB and Michelle have created. But, in the end, his actions were his own; he was old enough to have some concept that what he was doing was wrong, but he did it anyway.

 

Though this whole situation is appalling and sad, what really makes my blood boil is the fact that Josh and his parents continue to blithely sweep this whole incident under the rug. Nobody takes any real responsibility for what happened, and the statements the family have released thus far use a lot of words to say a whole lot of nothing. Josh's statement is especially frustrating because it focuses only on how it affected his life, and gives no consideration to the hell he put the victims through. Perhaps if these people had any self-awareness, and dealt with this situation in a real, honest and productive way, the public reaction wouldn't be quite so vicious.

 

As far as I'm concerned, this family needs to disappear from TV and from the public eye, the sooner the better. I hope the victims and Josh get real counselling and are able to recover from this whole horrible debacle. Somehow I doubt that will happen, but a girl can dream I guess. 

 

  • Love 7

Does any, one remember when Josh was getting married and JB gave him a book, and a video if I'm not mistaken, on "the birds and the bees"? Disgusting mental image alert:: when these kids, the older ones, got to the age of knowing where babies come from, did they hear....ummm...noises from mom and dads room? At every pregnancy announcement M made, the older kids looked disgusted!

  • Love 2

A reminder folks, a waaays back I posted the definitions of molest and pedophilia. Josh molested some girls when he himself was a minor. We don't know if he's a pedophile. Molester =/= pedophile.

Use ONLY what I know from the show (and that ain't much) and common sense and not wanting to crucify him, I would say he's probably NOT a pedophile but...as I stated above...he was a ragingly hormonal teen, cloistered (re: the movie Carrie) and told sex is sinful - all the while J&M NEVER missed an opportunity to screw like bunnies. I say not a pedophile because I doubt his motivation was little girl parts, but rather FEMALE parts!  I don't condone but I UNDERSTAND his behavior.  I was the only sister with 2 brothers and would have been HORRIFIED if I had been touched.  But my brothers weren't made to live like monks either.  Josh was wrong, but I pity him (I pity the lot of them).  

This is what scares me the most. Michelle has brought out that mowing-in-bikini story line SO many times. It's quite clear that the entire house is taught to feel that women are responsible for the thoughts/desires of men. It makes me so sick to think of some of the conversations that might have had with the girls, making them feel as if they were at fault. Ugh. Josh deserves the scorn he's getting, but this is part of a much bigger problem - the super sick, repressive sexual views in these fundie religions. 

I agree with you that the fundie element created this, but I don't really think Josh deserves scorn at this point.  It was years ago, and he was an adolescent.  

  • Love 3

I may be in the minority here, but right this second, I have some compassion for Josh. I can completely understand the posters here who don't -- especially those who were molested themselves.

 

Just now, tonight, Josh knows that he is responsible for destroying his world, and for bringing ruin on his family. He has lost his job (and I don't think he resigned, I think he came into work this morning and was handed a resignation letter to sign). He is not only responsible for destroying his own future, but that of his family, and his siblings. If the show is cancelled (and I think it will be), the lives of his siblings could be reduced from their current comfort to the life of insecurity he has as a child. His sisters are now "damaged goods" in their world and will have a difficult time finding husbands.

 

That's a lot on his shoulders for something he did -- as reprehensible as it might be -- at age 14.

 

And I lay this all on his parents. One poster above noted that people all over the world live in sexually repressed cultures, and young boys don't molest there -- but they do. Countries (like India which has been in the news recently) where sexuality is heavily repressed and women have no autonomy, have sky high rates of sexual abuse.

 

The Duggars are simply terrible parents. Once this happened in their household, they saw no reason to reconsider their lifestyle. They sent Josh away for 3 months of physical labor -- problem solved! They saw no reason to open up -- even a little -- to allow their children normal social contact. They never even considered that they might be overwhelmed as parents and not be giving their full attention to their children -- nope, they just kept popping out babies.

 

Nothing is ever their fault. No problem could ever be caused by the decisions that they've made. They just keep pushing forward with no thought, and no concern for the damage that they have done -- to their own children!

I have tremendous respect for you, seriously. I call myself a Christian, and Jesus taught compassion and unconditional love. I don't feel those things for Josh right now, but I'm trying. Thanks for sharing this.

  • Love 6

Put a fork in them-they're done. General Mills has pulled advertising. If an old institution like them aren't going to stand up, no one will. I look on the bright side though, people are really questioning Mike Huckabee's sanity. The problem with the Duggars is that they became too famous/rich. It was bound to irk someone who had the goods on these folks. I do feel vindicated by my longtime distrust of this family.

  • Love 8

Aaaaaand DONE. I hope Josh is proud of himself. He, along with his idiot parents, have sunk the ship with their ineptitude, irresponsibility and arrogance.

If Josh EVER says one more effing public word about how homosexuality is ruining the fabric of the American family, I'm going to lose it.

All that means is that Michelle, JimBob and Josh will have to act like responsible adults and get real jobs to support their families, instead of living off the TLC gravy train.

  • Love 7
(edited)

The thing I don't get is how the statute of limitations has passed for prosecuting Josh for the abuse. I thought (perhaps wrongly) that when it comes to children and molestation and with basically anything under that sexual umbrella there is no statute of limitations. I have definitely heard stories of adults prosecuting their childhood molestors years after everything had stopped. How is Josh avoiding this? Is Arkansas really that backwards?

Edited by fliptopbox
  • Love 1

"Effective immediately, TLC has pulled all episodes of 19 Kids and Counting currently from the air. We are deeply saddened and troubled by this heartbreaking situation, and our thoughts and prayers are with the family and victims at this difficult time."

https://www.facebook.com/TLC/posts/10155626312840173

  • Love 3
(edited)

I believe this is a tragedy for everyone in the family including JB and Michelle.

How? How is this a tragedy for Jim Bob and Michelle? If they had taken legitimate action to try and fix this,  or at least tried to help the girls and even Josh , then I could feel sorry for them. Instead the covered it up and did nothing to help their daughter. And then they went on TV an exposed the family in public knowing full well this could come out. I wonder how  those girls feel today about this being known to the whole world. If the parents wanted to protect their daughters they would have kept them off TV . It was a tragedy for the Duggar parents 12 years ago. Everything after that is caused by their own choices.

Edited by JennyMominFL
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(edited)

It's kind of like a chicken and the egg quandary. We're Josh's actions caused by his upbringing or were they a result of bad wiring and the Fundie upbringing meant the only victims available were his sisters? If Josh had grown up playing Little League, attending school dances and dating as a teenager, would we even be talking about this right now? It's hard to say, but my personal opinion is that five separate victims over a several year period is a pattern, not an isolated incident. He also was unable to restrain himself after he was caught and disciplined by his parents. He really should have been removed from the home a hell of a lot earlier.

Edited by BitterApple
  • Love 15

My reasoning was this - $1,000,000 to each kid sans Josh, not just the victims. Those girls will need 2x a week psychotherapy for a long time. Not cheap with a good therapist. The unmarried don't even have their own underwear, and the marrieds have kids on the way. They all deserve the option to move out on their own/together or stay, and damn it, I don't think JB will give them a dime. He owes them money but has been hoarding/spending it on himself. That won't change. I don't think the kids will be spendthrift lotto winners. Hell, it probably cost Josie well over a million just to make it out the cradle.

 

This timeline is excellent for those of us that are confused:

 

http://defamer.gawker.com/the-web-has-known-about-josh-duggar-for-years-when-did-1706258269

If none of them have medical  insurance (I don't know if they do), then their counseling will no doubt, be free, thanks to Obamacare.

Now we know why Grandma Duggar sequestered herself in the laundry room.

She knew the truth all the time.

"Out, damned spot" now has metaphorical and laundry literal meaning for Grandma Macbeth.

 

Watched the "meet the film crew" episode last night.

The end of the show features Josh and Anna and is nauseating in light of his deeds.

Feel the sorriest for the sisters who were forced to live with Josh and in fear he may make more mistakes because he was not removed from living under the same roof with them.

The film crew who were embedded with the family, some for double digit years and made all those nice comments about the family unbeknowst to them that the Duggars were protecting their own molester in plain sight.

The brothers who knew what was done and had to voice admiration for their elderst brother and parents.

No wonder the older brothers are so messed up, especially the second oldest brother.

Wonder if the Bates knew, was bought for their silence by the big house and kept their daughters away from the Duggars males.

  • Love 3

"Effective immediately, TLC has pulled all episodes of 19 Kids and Counting currently from the air. We are deeply saddened and troubled by this heartbreaking situation, and our thoughts and prayers are with the family and victims at this difficult time."

https://www.facebook.com/TLC/posts/10155626312840173

 

"Currently" indeed.

 

Well, it's more than I thought they'd do.

 

I'm already seeing a, "He's not like Lena Dunham because at least he feels bad!" defense spring up (never mind that many of us do not like her or accept what she did, and I'd guess 90% of America doesn't even know who she is), so maybe TLC can use that for their future "Back to Duggars" ad campaign.

  • Love 4
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