Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Guest]

I also remember Pa Seewald responding to JB's worries of Ben's young age, by saying something to the effect of "No worries, having kids will mature him, it matured me". 

 

I'm sure it never occurred to him to let the actual passage of time mature Ben instead. Oy. 

[kalamac]

Instead of counting on kids to mature Ben, he should have taken a good long look at Boob & Mechelle and realized that you can have 19 kids, and still be stuck with the mentality of a 15 year old.

[Satchels of gold]

This has been discussed many times, it's nothing weird. They don't use both at the same time. I've seen it in other restrooms with large and small kids coexisting in the same house.

 

Money combined with fame's a hell of a drug.

Never seen that, never heard of it and I think it's very weird.

[Churchhoney]

I wonder how Mr. Seewald likes it now.

 

I hope he has to support all 20 of Benessa's children. Keep him too busy to make any more trouble.

Two toilets side by side without stalls is weird. I hope they have stalls.

 

I'm sure that they did it so that they wouldn't end up devoting an entire bathroom to a child-sized toilet. With a limited number of bathrooms, you wouldn't want to have one that could only be used by a small child. This way, anybody who needs to use the bathroom can use this one. It doesn't just sit there frustrating people until a six-year-old needs to go. I don't see that it's any different from having a separate tub and separate shower in the same bathroom. You're not expecting two people to use these simultaneously. You're just making the room multifunctional.

 

By building one of your bathrooms with only a child-sized toilet, you're effectively making it completely nonfunctional much of the time. With a lot of people in the house, why would you want to do that?

how in the holy hell did they ever get Ben to stay ?!?! 

 

Oh, I imagine Little Benny pretty effectively blindfolded Ben Proper. This was a teenage boy with hormones we're talking about here. .... Plus, a teenage boy with hormones looking at a future with the hot girl from television. Wild horses probably couldn't have dragged him away.

Edited September 16, 2015 by Churchhoney

[dillpickles]

If Mr Seewald thought that his daughters were ready to be matched up with a Duggar, and Ben his oldest child was only 17, that's strange and a little disturbing.

I actually don't see how, there are a bunch of teenaged Duggars for his daughters to choose from.

[GeeGolly]

I agree the double toilet is weird. They have potty chairs for little ones and step stools for preschoolers. My kids managed to get their little heinies on a grown-up toilet.

[queenanne]

I also remember Pa Seewald responding to JB's worries of Ben's young age, by saying something to the effect of "No worries, having kids will mature him, it matured me". 

 

Well, at least JB had the thought...  Personally I think it sounds like a recipe for disaster, considering how everybody pretty much knows boys are more immature than girls anyway - I wouldn't be surprised if emotionally Ben's more like sixteen (or twelve!) - but it probably struck Papa S. as easier than trying to keep a lid on the latter's hormones until mid-twenties.

[JoanArc]

 

I don't see that it's any different from having a separate tub and separate shower in the same bathroom. You're not expecting two people to use these simultaneously. You're just making the room multifunctional.

Thank you!

[Julia]

I don't think it's a ridiculous concept on its face. I just don't see why you wouldn't put a waist-high privacy wall. It just feels as if nobody in that house is allowed to have boundaries.

[riverblue22]

First I've heard of the two-toilet bathroom.  Although all of our children were able to manage with standard toilets this gave Jim Bob the chance to show that his house will always be full of small children because he is such a macho macho man.  Bob and Mechelle probably thought they would be fertile for another ten years.  Too bad, so sad.

[Adeejay]

I think it was Ben's idea. I sort of remember his mother saying something about it. Ben wanted to meet Jessa Duggar, and his mom basically thought, "Aim lower, boy."

 

On Jessa and Ben's wedding special, Mrs. Seewald said that when Ben told her he was interested in Jessa, she told him that he didn't have a prayer, because she was pretty sure Jessa had a lot of guys breaking down her door.  While watching a repeat of their flea market/garage sale episode, I noticed a then unknown Ben in the background of a Jessa and Jinger shot, so it seems he has been around for a while.  As Jessa told People mag when they announced their courtship, her father gets a lot of requests for courtships, but the majority of them are "creeps and weirdos".  Evidently, Ben and Derrick are the only two so far to pass muster.

[Julia]

As Jessa told People mag when they announced their courtship, her father gets a lot of requests for courtships, but the majority of them are "creeps and weirdos".  Evidently, Ben and Derrick are the only two so far to pass muster.

 

Well, WADR (such a lovely elastic phrase, don't you think?) to the Duggars' unique religious beliefs, in secular terms that show was pretty much a forty-minute infomercial for basement-dwelling wannabe slaveowners.

[Cherrio]

Well, yes, but an "active dislike" implies something more happened than just the passive dislike that comes from them being themselves. LOL. 

They also don't shower ?

[Lemur]

I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT!  I know now who Jessa reminds me of ...

 

 

 

Denise Richards in Drop Dead Gorgeous.

[duggarshow]

I hope he has to support all 20 of Benessa's children. Keep him too busy to make any more trouble.

 

I'm sure that they did it so that they wouldn't end up devoting an entire bathroom to a child-sized toilet. With a limited number of bathrooms, you wouldn't want to have one that could only be used by a small child. This way, anybody who needs to use the bathroom can use this one. It doesn't just sit there frustrating people until a six-year-old needs to go. I don't see that it's any different from having a separate tub and separate shower in the same bathroom. You're not expecting two people to use these simultaneously. You're just making the room multifunctional.

 

By building one of your bathrooms with only a child-sized toilet, you're effectively making it completely nonfunctional much of the time. With a lot of people in the house, why would you want to do that?

 

Oh, I imagine Little Benny pretty effectively blindfolded Ben Proper. This was a teenage boy with hormones we're talking about here. .... Plus, a teenage boy with hormones looking at a future with the hot girl from television. Wild horses probably couldn't have dragged him away.

 

Great post. Good observation. ITA!! 

[zenme]

I'm honestly just surprised Jimbo sprung for the cost of a kid size toilet.  A stepping stool could have been cheaper.  He must've found a used toilet from some going out of business day care or something.

[Defrauder]

I can't imagine marrying the first guy I dated - or courted or whatever she is calling it now.  My taste matured and grew more discerning with experience - and I don't mean sexual experience but getting to know someone privately in an adult way.  Just conversationally and spending time with someone alone without chaperones builds trust.  If they can't trust a guy to even be alone with them why marry them?  Gee Ben, you're uncontrollable and untrustworthy to be alone with so we can't be alone together while courting but I'll marry you.  What happens if he finds himself alone with a woman he's attracted to after the wedding?  Is he suddenly tamed because he's got something at home?  Wouldn't you want to test the guy's trustworthiness before the big day?  You've already assumed he can't be trusted with alone so what really changes?

[Lemur]

I can't imagine marrying the first guy I dated - or courted or whatever she is calling it now. 

 

I can't either, but some people do and they make it work.  Others ... not so much.  But you know what they say, it's better to marry young than to burn in hell for all eternity.  

 

(One of my friends, who was raised fundy-lite married her HS sweetheart because she wanted to have sex.  They were divorced nine months later when he cheated on her with a girl from college.  She then married her college boyfriend, again, because she wanted to have sex.  That marriage lasted a year and a half, until he graduated, moved away and cheated on her with another woman.  She's married again, this time, but learned her lesson along the way and had a nice, long, maturing break between marriages.)

[Defrauder]

True it can happen, marrying the first guy you've dated, but usually even then you've had some private alone time with them.  If someone is adult enough to take on the responsibility of marriage they are adult enough to be alone with. 

[FakeJoshDuggar]

I can't imagine marrying the first guy I dated - or courted or whatever she is calling it now. My taste matured and grew more discerning with experience - and I don't mean sexual experience but getting to know someone privately in an adult way. Just conversationally and spending time with someone alone without chaperones builds trust. If they can't trust a guy to even be alone with them why marry them? Gee Ben, you're uncontrollable and untrustworthy to be alone with so we can't be alone together while courting but I'll marry you. What happens if he finds himself alone with a woman he's attracted to after the wedding? Is he suddenly tamed because he's got something at home? Wouldn't you want to test the guy's trustworthiness before the big day? You've already assumed he can't be trusted with alone so what really changes?

Well up until the Ashley Madison scandal broke, the girls were taught that their particular safe guards prevented all of the worldly woes. For example, if they saved their first kiss for marriage and gave their virginity Christmas present to their husband, they would never, ever be the used bicycle (which is a shitty metaphor for premarital sex and STDs.) Now they only have took as far as Anna to see how their paradigm falls apart as Josh has exposed her to any number of STDs through unprotected sex with another woman. I guess for all the protocols put in place to preserve Anna's purity, minus copious amounts of the hand sex, they look at her like a dirty bike after all.

Edited September 16, 2015 by FakeJoshDuggar

[Defrauder]

Yes, Josh - the living example of how courting and dating with a purpose fails miserably. 

[leighdear]

 Is he suddenly tamed because he's got something at home? 

I think Josh knows the answer to that question!

[JenCarroll]

Yes, Josh - the living example of how courting and dating with a purpose fails miserably.

To be fair, a lot of marriages do fail. But I think Josh could be the living example that courting and dating with a purpose won't necessarily prevent that. Because that's what the Duggars, and all the unfortunate sons and daughters in Gothard-Land are being taught, that this is the slam-dunk, no-fail, 100% guaranteed path to an enduring marriage. Which it clearly is not. IMO if the crazy people are able to absorb even just that lesson -- that it still might not work out because hello, humans! -- it'd be progress.

[Liz Tudor]

I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT!  I know now who Jessa reminds me of ...

 

 

 

Denise Richards in Drop Dead Gorgeous.

NAILED IT!! One of my most favorite movies, EVER! And this talent routine is a showstopper. "Shut up and get on that swan!!!" Back to Ben & Jessa....

[Wellfleet]

First I've heard of the two-toilet bathroom.  Although all of our children were able to manage with standard toilets this gave Jim Bob the chance to show that his house will always be full of small children because he is such a macho macho man.  Bob and Mechelle probably thought they would be fertile for another ten years.  Too bad, so sad.

 

Have only seen the "two commode" deal once. But it was one toilet and one bidet - no privacy walls or dividers. I babysat for an OB/GYN and his family all through college, and they were installed in the children's Jack-and-Jill bathroom. The mother was from Italy - bidet use is very common in Europe - and Dr M met her while he was in med school there. I understand two sinks in a bathroom or two mirrors, or having both a tub and a separate stall shower. But I honestly can't think of a reasonable explanation why anyone would install multiple toilets side by side WITHOUT dividers, in a private residential setting. Unless Boob was planning to open a school at that location at some point - that's the closest reasonable idea I can imagine.

[charmed1]

I FINALLY FIGURED IT OUT! I know now who Jessa reminds me of ...

Denise Richards in Drop Dead Gorgeous.

Yep. They even look alike. Don't get on any parade floats, Jessa.

[Almost 3000]

Have only seen the "two commode" deal once. But it was one toilet and one bidet - no privacy walls or dividers. I babysat for an OB/GYN and his family all through college, and they were installed in the children's Jack-and-Jill bathroom. The mother was from Italy - bidet use is very common in Europe - and Dr M met her while he was in med school there. I understand two sinks in a bathroom or two mirrors, or having both a tub and a separate stall shower. But I honestly can't think of a reasonable explanation why anyone would install multiple toilets side by side WITHOUT dividers, in a private residential setting. Unless Boob was planning to open a school at that location at some point - that's the closest reasonable idea I can imagine.

It is off the play room on the main floor so also available to guests who probably have dozens of kids too. Frankly, I thought it was a pretty good idea and never thought it was meant for two people using the toilets together so no dividers necessary. If you think about it, its probably more sanitary and convenient for the little kids to use a separate toilet than to have raisers or potty seats attached to the main toilet.

[Churchhoney]

Have only seen the "two commode" deal once. But it was one toilet and one bidet - no privacy walls or dividers. I babysat for an OB/GYN and his family all through college, and they were installed in the children's Jack-and-Jill bathroom. The mother was from Italy - bidet use is very common in Europe - and Dr M met her while he was in med school there. I understand two sinks in a bathroom or two mirrors, or having both a tub and a separate stall shower. But I honestly can't think of a reasonable explanation why anyone would install multiple toilets side by side WITHOUT dividers, in a private residential setting. Unless Boob was planning to open a school at that location at some point - that's the closest reasonable idea I can imagine.

 

So that either a child could use that bathroom easily, or an older person could use that bathroom easily. .... No different from installing a separate bathtub and separate shower in a bathroom. You're not anticipating two people using the shower and the bath simultaneously. They're simply both there so that the room is multifunctional. If the argument that keeps being made about the child's and adult's toilets in the same room were extended to the very common arrangement in which you've got a standalone tub and standalone shower in the same room, you'd be assuming that two people were supposed to use those two facilities simultaneously. Obviously, they're not. And neither are the two different kinds of people who can use those two different kinds of toilets.

 

A bathroom with only a child's toilet in it is a bathroom that can't be accessed at all by the older members of the family for elimination purposes. In a house with a limited number of bathrooms (like every house outside of certain high-dollar zip codes in LA and Long Island), why would you ever want to make one of the bathrooms so non-functional for most of the family?

Edited September 17, 2015 by Churchhoney

[TaxNerd]

Our local library in the children's section and the family bathroom at the mall has the double toilets. I am surprised people think it's weird!

I am also surprised that the Jessa and Ben romance went back so far. No wonder Jessa complained it took so long.

[Fosca]

I suspect this horse is getting very well beaten, but I do want to point out that an adult can use a child-size toilet. It's not the easiest or most convenient, but it can be done. For urination, it just takes good aim (for either sex--as a female I often crouch-and-hover instead of sit while using a "strange" toilet); defecation might be more difficult but it's also done less often.

Which might be why having both toilets in the same room seems odd to me; I like the style where the toilet is in a little separate room off the room with the sink/shower/tub, and having two little rooms makes more sense to me.

[flyingdi]

I didn't even know there are childsize toilets. See what you miss out on when you don't have kids.

[Mitzimuffin]

Jessa always reminded me of Lisa Robertson from QVC.

[Joe Jitsu913]

Jessa has always reminded me of Kendra Wilkinson.

Edited September 17, 2015 by Joe Jitsu913

[Almost 3000]

I suspect this horse is getting very well beaten, but I do want to point out that an adult can use a child-size toilet. It's not the easiest or most convenient, but it can be done. For urination, it just takes good aim (for either sex--as a female I often crouch-and-hover instead of sit while using a "strange" toilet); defecation might be more difficult but it's also done less often.

Which might be why having both toilets in the same room seems odd to me; I like the style where the toilet is in a little separate room off the room with the sink/shower/tub, and having two little rooms makes more sense to me.

Well the toilets will be perfect when TLC brings back the show when a family of little people move in next door and purpose to help the Duggars turn their property into a working farm complete with seasonal apple picking, cider making and a line of organic baby food. It'll be a hit...

 

eta: Since this is the Jessa and Ben thread they'll run the Chapel complete with weddings for the non-damned only.

Edited September 17, 2015 by Almost 3000

[Seashell Lover]

I was at work today and saw the most perfect maternity tshirt for Jessa it had the words Nike Just Do It

I Did It !

[TaxNerd]

I was at work today and saw the most perfect maternity tshirt for Jessa it had the words Nike Just Do It

I Did It !

Ha ha, they got pretty close with Jessa's Touchdown! shirt. Ben needs a matching one that says "I scored!"

[frenchtoast]

I suspect this horse is getting very well beaten,

Yeah, the horse is well and truly down. Let's find a new horse and move on from the toilet discussion.

[CarolMK]

I'm wondering which sister-mom is going to be recruited to help Jessa when she has her baby. Joy was with Jill in South America, and as far as I can tell, Jill will be going back, right ? So will Joy and Jill even be around when baby Seewald is born? I've read elsewhere that Anna is getting help with her 4 little ones from Jinger although I can't figure out if Anna is in the Duggar's home or if she's living elsewhere. So does that mean Hannie is going to be staying with Jessa? How old is Hannie now, 9 or 10? I guess it's not too young in Duggar world to start caring for a newborn. Jana runs the household, so she can't leave for an extended period of time, it's been shown on their tv show many times that Michelle is incapable of running the house with her smaller kids by herself. 

[kokapetl]

Anna probably doesn't need much help. Joy-Anna won't be with Jill for anything more than a few weeks. Jill can easily look after her own single child. Joy-Anna will be totally acceptable to Anna for the purpose of watching her kids for ten minutes while she showers. Jessa will get Jinger. Jana remains where she's needed most.

[Defrauder]

I'm wondering which sister-mom is going to be recruited to help Jessa when she has her baby. Joy was with Jill in South America, and as far as I can tell, Jill will be going back, right ? So will Joy and Jill even be around when baby Seewald is born? I've read elsewhere that Anna is getting help with her 4 little ones from Jinger although I can't figure out if Anna is in the Duggar's home or if she's living elsewhere. So does that mean Hannie is going to be staying with Jessa? How old is Hannie now, 9 or 10? I guess it's not too young in Duggar world to start caring for a newborn. Jana runs the household, so she can't leave for an extended period of time, it's been shown on their tv show many times that Michelle is incapable of running the house with her smaller kids by herself. 

This post cracks me up because only the Duggars can't take care of their own kids but have to have kids take care of kids.  Even funnier that it's so true that Michelle can't run the house by herself making Jana indispensable.  So then we have to figure out which kid's turn it is to take on the latest newborn.  Is Hannie taking care of Jordyn and Jennifer at this point do you think?  Maybe at the 6th month weaning Jessa's baby can go to Hannie and by that time Jennifer will be old enough to take care of herself and Jordyn?  The Howlers just basically need to be fed at this point and Jana has that covered.  Jinger can head into a courtship to try and please JB & Michelle with something possibly newsworthy besides Josh.  I think Anna's 4 M's will be Anna's responsibility (Michelle won't want to help her with her own slaves), and Mackenzie will take on her brothers from now on.  It's quite complicated but once you get the hang of it well it's really special how purposing to pass off the latest addition becomes such a blessing, OK curse, to whoever is next in line.

Edited September 17, 2015 by Defrauder

[JenCarroll]

I believe Johannah will be 10 this fall, or winter? I'm pretty sure she was born in 2005. (I do not, actually, know all their birth dates, but I have a good memory and it often sets up mnemonics without my even realizing it. Apparently my brain associated her with my DD1, whose name has the same last five letters and who was born in 1995. It was all the fives.)

I'm sure ten years old is considered a fine age to start sister-momming among the Duggars, but I agree Michelle will not want to part with her own J'slaves.

[JoanArc]

[Julia]

 

You consistently give me chills. 

[JoanArc]

 

You consistently give me chills.

I wish I was that talented!

[dillpickles]

You know what this made me think? It made me think that Jessa really, reallllyyy needs to chop off about 8 inches of hair. A short style suits her.

[BitterApple]

I don't know why the girls insist on hanging on to scraggly, waist length hair that needed a foot hacked off of it five years ago. Even if Jessa cut it to slightly below bra strep level she could keep her length but look a lot more polished.

[Lemur]

"You can always depend on the kindness of strangers

To pluck up your spirits and shield you from dangers.
Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret.
A stranger's just a friend you haven't met!
You haven't met!
STREETCAR!"

[Julia]

"You can always depend on the kindness of strangers

To pluck up your spirits and shield you from dangers.

Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret.

A stranger's just a friend you haven't met!

You haven't met!

STREETCAR!"

 

...always look on the bright side of life...

[EarlGreyTea]

Excellent tea on the previous page, thanks for spilling it, OP.

 

Wow. Just wow. How's that long con workin' out for you now, Papa Seewald? And how awful is it that JB was apparently willing to sell any daughter to the first guy that came along for a storyline on a stupid reality TV show? Gross. 

 

Also, I would love to know what the Duggar boys did to send the Seewald girls running... 

 

The whole thing reminds me of Carole Middleton, Kate's mother. Gossip has it that she made sure Kate fell into the path of William by having her go to St. Andrews and to the same place William went for his gap year, to ensure they would meet and eventually marry (there's more, but at the risk of getting off topic). At least Kate got a title and guaranteed money out of it.

 

I'll say it again. The Seewalds should read that book they hold when they yell at people about abortion and gay marriage. They may be interested to read what Jesus said about a rich man getting into heaven. And also what he said about hypocrites who pray openly on street corners.

 

To think in different hands, Jessa could have been graduating from college this year, applying for internships, and moving into her first apartment.

[Liz Tudor]

"You can always depend on the kindness of strangers

To pluck up your spirits and shield you from dangers.

Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret.

A stranger's just a friend you haven't met!

You haven't met!

STREETCAR!"

Oh, I'm weak...my favorite (banned) Simpsons episode EVER. And I ADORE the "Sodom & Gomorrah on the Mississip;" go there at least twice a year. Wish TPTB in the city had embraced this song/episode, because it's all TRUE. They should've just run with it instead of making a bigs ol' stink, Lord knows they embrace the crazy in that city, that's part of why I love it so.

I tip my hat to you, you white hot grease fire of pure entertainment!