Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[Westiepeach]

On 6/13/2022 at 1:55 PM, Mojitogirl said:

That’s a nice quality, expensive stove. I hope she puts it to good use. 

I wonder how many eyes will be poked out with those drawer pulls...

[Ijustwantsomechips]

So I watched the birthday video because I’m killing time at work.  Jessa’s parenting skills leave much to be desired, but I can’t snark on the backpack full of goodies.  All little kids like to emulate adults so I get why Guinn would give Ivy a brush, chapstick and tissues for her backpack. My nieces played with the fake credit cards that came in wallets when they were young.  That’s probably the same stuff grandma has in her purse.  Ivy’s carrier with the tiger stuffed animal was adorable too.

[graefin]

28 minutes ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

All little kids like to emulate adults so I get why Guinn would give Ivy a brush, chapstick and tissues for her backpack. 

The brush was probably a subtle hint to Jessa that Ivy's hair could use some brushing once in a while (or maybe ever judging from the pictures Jessa shows us on her social media); the rest of the gifts were just filler to make the message less obvious and ensure it would be better received. 

[Ijustwantsomechips]

21 hours ago, graefin said:

The brush was probably a subtle hint to Jessa that Ivy's hair could use some brushing once in a while (or maybe ever judging from the pictures Jessa shows us on her social media); the rest of the gifts were just filler to make the message less obvious and ensure it would be better received. 

Grandma Guinn probably does always have a brush in her purse since she knows Ivy’s hair is always a gnarled mess.  I doubt Jessa carries a purse let alone a brush. 

Edited June 15, 2022 by Ijustwantsomechips

[emmawoodhouse]

The kids need a comb more than a brush. The latter would frizz out the curls Jessa works so hard to maintain. 

Speaking of Jessa, she's just beginning to reinforce a bad habit with Ivy and those stove knobs. I don't care if the gas wasn't hooked up, tell her NO! 

[CalicoKitty]

5 hours ago, graefin said:

The brush was probably a subtle hint to Jessa that Ivy's hair could use some brushing once in a while (or maybe ever judging from the pictures Jessa shows us on her social media); the rest of the gifts were just filler to make the message less obvious and ensure it would be better received. 

A brush and tissues is still a much better gift than some diapers in a paper sack, which Jill R gave one of her daughters for her birthday.  Not a package of diapers, just a couple of random diapers.  In a paper sack.  I, too, hope none of Jessa's kids get hurt on the drawer pulls in the kitchen.  Or fill the house with gas from the stove.  I can't remember how many bathrobes or pairs of jeans I have ruined over the years when the pockets were caught on kitchen knobs.  That is why my kitchen drawers and cabinets are knobless.  I'm just the wrong height, I guess.

[Cinnabon]

1 minute ago, CalicoKitty said:

A brush and tissues is still a much better gift than some diapers in a paper sack, which Jill R gave one of her daughters for her birthday.  Not a package of diapers, just a couple of random diapers.  In a paper sack.  I, too, hope none of Jessa's kids get hurt on the drawer pulls in the kitchen.  Or fill the house with gas from the stove.  I can't remember how many bathrobes or pairs of jeans I have ruined over the years when the pockets were caught on kitchen knobs.  That is why my kitchen drawers and cabinets are knobless.  I'm just the wrong height, I guess.

It’s a race to the bottom with these people.

[emmawoodhouse]

Jessa, Ben, and Jana were spotted at the SBC convention today by a writer from Christianity Today. This is odd since they aren't Southern Baptists, they're IFB. Ben's church is not affiliated with the SBC. 

Very strange.

[Zella]

5 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

a writer from Christianity Today.

Do they have better Duggar identification skills than the staff of The Sun? This could be another Jason sighting! 😂

[emmawoodhouse]

8 minutes ago, Zella said:

Do they have better Duggar identification skills than the staff of The Sun? This could be another Jason sighting! 😂

Nah, she took a selfie with Jessa, so it's a confirmed sighting! 😀

[Zella]

2 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Nah, she took a selfie with Jessa, so it's a confirmed sighting! 😀

Well there goes all my fun. 😂

[emmawoodhouse]

[Nysha]

Quote

I have been covering the Duggars for more than a decade, back to writing about 19 Kids for the Houston Chronicle as well as the scandals involving Josh for CT. I asked for a selfie.

That's tacky/inconsiderate; bringing up the current worst event in someone's family & then ask them for a selfie she can post to her social media. I realize (and she probably does, also) that this something she's going to have brought up in every media post about anyone in her family. I just think that at a large church conference is not someplace she should be accosted by some self-appointed social media 'journalist'.

[emmawoodhouse]

She's an actual journalist. She's representing Christianity Today at the conference. She's live tweeting the events, and an article is probably forthcoming.

[Gemma Violet]

Another tweet from Ms. Shellnutt:

Quote

(I wish I had gotten a pic with Jana Duggar, who has fascinated me as an exception in her family—32 and not yet married—but she was caring for a baby. I assume it was Jessa and Ben's youngest, Ivy.)

Bolding mine.  What a shock.

eta:  This lady's behind the times.  Fern is the youngest.

Edited June 15, 2022 by Gemma Violet

[emmawoodhouse]

I was surprised that Jessa brought Fern. She's old enough to eat solids. It's not like Jessa can nurse her all day at the convention. Oh wait, I forget their giant nursing tents they wear like a badge of honor. 

I suppose the other kids were left at the TTH. 

[Temperance]

2 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

I was surprised that Jessa brought Fern. She's old enough to eat solids. It's not like Jessa can nurse her all day at the convention. Oh wait, I forget their giant nursing tents they wear like a badge of honor. 

I suppose the other kids were left at the TTH. 

I think Jessa nurses a long time. She said she enjoys it. It also might help space out pregnancies (although not a guaranteed method).

[Churchhoney]

14 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Jessa, Ben, and Jana were spotted at the SBC convention today by a writer from Christianity Today. This is odd since they aren't Southern Baptists, they're IFB. Ben's church is not affiliated with the SBC. 

Very strange.

They've been going regularly to the Calvinist G3 meetings the past few years, too. And while Bin has a Calvinist background, his current church doesn't seem to be affiliated with that either. Meanwhile, I don't think they've turned up at an IBLP/ATI event for some time (could be wrong about that).....

In any case, I've wondered whether all this attending of events that they haven't been officially affiliated with is an attempt to gain more prominence as IBLP is dying (and their tv fame has been cut off)......

I think Jessa has had a sneaking fondness for being a big-time national Christian influencer -- And Bin married her partly out of horniess and partly because, like Der and Jer, he wanted to ride her fame to some big religion-related job.....

So maybe he's been trying to cast a wider net among the conservative Protestants, hoping his big-time job is out there.......When he tried his youtube relaunch, he brought on some guys he'd hung with at the G3 -- doing them the favor of putting them on a channel related to the famous Duggars, doncha know.

That crashed pretty quickly. But attendance at more major conferences suggests that he hasn't yet given up....Jer ultimately got it to work for him, after all.  However, Jer has managed to lie to the larger public about the actual beliefs and preaching of the people he's hooked up with,

While Bin conversed openly with his conservative-Calvinist guests about the demonic nature of "same-sex attraction" and so on. And then apparently shut down his youtube channel again because the public response was so negative. 

Edited June 15, 2022 by Churchhoney

[quarks]

If I had to guess, this trip was less about theology and more about networking - not to mention testing out just how toxic they are post trial/conviction.

And now, they know that one person at Christianity Today, at least, is still willing to ask them tactless questions and for a selfie!

Edited June 15, 2022 by quarks

[GeeGolly]

Do the second generation Duggars know or care whether its Calvinist, SBS or IFB? It seems they, like many (or most) cherry pick their beliefs anyway, so I'm not sure why it matters whether they're at an uber-conservative Christian conference or a conservative Christian conference.

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, quarks said:

If I had to guess, this trip was less about theology and more about networking - not to mention testing out just how toxic they are post trial/convention.

And now, they know that one person at Christianity Today, at least, is still willing to ask them tactless questions and for a selfie!

Yeah, I expect you're right.

Plus, the theological allegiances increasingly overlap now, anyway.

Conservative Baptists and conservative Calvinists are now buddy-buddy something pretty unheard of for centuries and, really, until just a couple decades ago.

. Now it's mostly melting into one big conservative-Protestant pot. Even some conservative Catholics mix in the pot these days.

I guess the individual groups are getting small enough compared to everybody else that unifying gives a strength-in-numbers feeling that more conservative Christians are cherishing now. 

[MargeGunderson]

I don’t have a problem with a reporter asking Jessa about Josh. It was a big scandal and in the news recently, so of course a journalist is going to ask. (Although snapping a picture with Jessa was odd). A regular random person asking Jessa about it would be beyond tacky (like Jill R. level tacky.)

[emmawoodhouse]

1 hour ago, Churchhoney said:

Yeah, I expect you're right.

Plus, the theological allegiances increasingly overlap now, anyway.

Conservative Baptists and conservative Calvinists are now buddy-buddy something pretty unheard of for centuries and, really, until just a couple decades ago.

. Now it's mostly melting into one big conservative-Protestant pot. Even some conservative Catholics mix in the pot these days.

I guess the individual groups are getting small enough compared to everybody else that unifying gives a strength-in-numbers feeling that more conservative Christians are cherishing now. 

The conservative Calvinist sector (in the form of Voddie Baucham) attempted to run for a spot as a leader in another division of the SBC. Like the guy backed by MacArthur who ran for SBC president, he was voted down by a relatively less conservative wing of the church. 

But yeah, the Calvinists are trying to make inroads in high places.

[Churchhoney]

18 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

But yeah, the Calvinists are trying to make inroads in high places.

Yep.

And vice versa, too. At one point I used to write about this stuff fairly often, but I was mostly off the religion beat for a while. .... And when I went back on it, a decade or so ago, I was shocked when I heard a couple of presidents of SBC seminaries talking up their own Calvinist beliefs..... 

So now it seems to be all in the family......Greetings, my homophobic and misogynistic brother! 

Edited June 16, 2022 by Churchhoney

[irisheyes]

Wasn’t the SBC conference also wrestling with adopting the recommendations in their sexual abuse report?  

[babyhouseman]

18 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

I forget their giant nursing tents they wear like a badge of honor. 

The Breast Friend. I'll never forget Michelle smothering a baby in Pigeon Forge, Tn with that thing.

[emmawoodhouse]

Just now, babyhouseman said:

The Breast Friend. I'll never forget Michelle smothering a baby in Pigeon Forge, Tn with that thing.

The breast friend also made appearances at a public school and a Christmas parade. That thing was awful.

I think Jessa just uses the tent blanket as a cover, no breast friend.

[Cinnabon]

2 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Yep.

And vice versa, too. At one point I used to write about this stuff fairly often, but I was mostly off the religion beat for a while. .... And when I went back on it, a decade or so ago, I was shocked when I heard a couple of presidents of SBC seminaries talking up their own Calvinist beliefs..... 

But now it seems to be all in the family......Greetings, my homophobic and misogynistic brother! 

Don’t forget racist and xenophobic!

Edited June 15, 2022 by Cinnabon

[GeeGolly]

I was just looking at pics of Hazel's (Bates) 1st birthday. While the party itself wasn't over the top, the IG ready backdrop was. Then I think of the Seewald kids' birthdays. Maybe something in between would be ideal.

[emmawoodhouse]

That backdrop was something else. I don't get it like I don't get Jessa's Amazon boxed gifts. 

[Cinnabon]

7 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I was just looking at pics of Hazel's (Bates) 1st birthday. While the party itself wasn't over the top, the IG ready backdrop was. Then I think of the Seewald kids' birthdays. Maybe something in between would be ideal.

Something in between that’s private!

[Joan of Argh]

I really struggle to understand Jessa’s obsession with Amazon boxes and her no birthday cake style of celebration.

is it simply a matter of Jessa being too cheap to buy wrapping paper and bake a cake? Or is it something else?

Jessa acts like wrapping paper, cakes etc aren’t necessary because SHE doesn’t care about stuff like that but it isn’t HER birthday, they’re children and they’d probably love to have wrapped gifts, a birthday cake, balloons, games with friends etc…but if it’s meaningless to Jessa that’s all that matters.

those poor kids, no friends, no proper education, no birthday parties, scrounging for food, hiding in the fridge to swig milk from the jug, eating sour cream from a tub and falling asleep wherever you drop after wandering around bored to death all day 🙄

[LilJen]

11 minutes ago, Joan of Argh said:

I really struggle to understand Jessa’s obsession with Amazon boxes and her no birthday cake style of celebration.

is it simply a matter of Jessa being too cheap to buy wrapping paper and bake a cake? Or is it something else?

Jessa acts like wrapping paper, cakes etc aren’t necessary because SHE doesn’t care about stuff like that but it isn’t HER birthday, they’re children and they’d probably love to have wrapped gifts, a birthday cake, balloons, games with friends etc…but if it’s meaningless to Jessa that’s all that matters.

those poor kids, no friends, no proper education, no birthday parties, scrounging for food, hiding in the fridge to swig milk from the jug, eating sour cream from a tub and falling asleep wherever you drop after wandering around bored to death all day 🙄

How were the Duggar kids’ birthdays celebrated? There’s the free sloppy sundaes, of course. I remember some recent lame-ass looking celebrations. Dunno what they were like back when the kids were younger and fewer in number, but Jessa may have no good example for what a “normal” kid’s birthday celebration looks like.

or she and Ben are just lazy and/or exhausted.

[ozziemom]

Based on Ivy’s birthday celebration at Bin’s parents, he knows what a “normal” birthday party is. He could wrap a present or get a cake even if it’s not Jessa’s thing. They are both just lazy.

[GeeGolly]

We all know Jessa reads here...

In the earlier birthday week videos Jessa proudly mentioned not using wrapping paper. My theory is that after years of reading about her family of origin using paper plates and such, this is where she 'fuck you'd the internet'. She reuses Amazon boxes and dirty pillow cases to show us how green she is. Jessa being a Duggar didn't anticipate the criticism of the lack luster birthday wrappings for young kids. Jessa being Jessa, dug in her heels even deeper.

[Tikichick]

4 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

Jessa acts like wrapping paper, cakes etc aren’t necessary because SHE doesn’t care about stuff like that but it isn’t HER birthday, they’re children and they’d probably love to have wrapped gifts, a birthday cake, balloons, games with friends etc…but if it’s meaningless to Jessa that’s all that matters.

those poor kids, no friends, no proper education, no birthday parties, scrounging for food, hiding in the fridge to swig milk from the jug, eating sour cream from a tub and falling asleep wherever you drop after wandering around bored to death all day 🙄

That's the thing, celebrating a kid's birthday should be focused on what will make the child feel happy/special.   If they're all about animals and a trip to a zoo, aquarium, petting farm isn't a regular family outing it can be a great way to celebrate.  A kid that's crazy about fishing or has never been but always asks about it might be over the moon for that birthday surprise.  When my cousin's middle child was very young he went through a phase where he constantly wanted fudgicles and treats were very occasional in their house.   One of his birthday "gifts" one year was his own small box of fudgicles with his name on it in the freezer.   His grin seemed like it would break his face when he was told about it.

What a kid might want is probably intuitive to parents and other adults who know them well and sometimes might seem kind of strange to others and that's okay too.   I'd have never dreamed a box of fudgicles would float someone's boat, but there you go.  With really young ones mom and dad just make the plan and that's okay too.  Nothing wrong with cake, balloons, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.  But to repeatedly give the bare minimum while constantly taking the time to record it for public consumption on social media?  At some point the kids are going to be old enough to look back and recognize things are lacking -- not really in the sense of tangible things, but what some of those trappings (and their absence) represent. 

[the-grey-lady]

34 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

That's the thing, celebrating a kid's birthday should be focused on what will make the child feel happy/special.

Absolutely agree.

I wonder if growing up as [x] of 19 hasn't messed up Jessa's sense of individuality. I don't think JB&M had any understanding of who their kids were beyond members of a horde, so it makes sense that they never got anything tailored to themselves. How many times did we see that chocolate mess thing? That's a fine treat if that's what the kid wants, but did every Duggar kid love that thing? I doubt it.

Now we see Jessa rebelling against the idea she's not her own person, in small ways like not having cake at her wedding, but she can't do it like a normal person. Other people like cake even if she doesn't, but she seems to have no understanding of how to assert herself as an individual without being completely selfish. It's fine if she doesn't care for cake and wrapping paper, but her kids probably like those things, and it's like she's determined to force her newfound sense of personhood onto them.

[iwantcookies]

Who buys a $3,000 stove for a rental? They either own the home or waste $. 

[galaxygirl76]

22 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

Who buys a $3,000 stove for a rental? They either own the home or waste $. 

Since this is Jessa, there's a good chance it's going to remain brand new for a long time. 

[ginger90]

For Michelle, birthdays were  a way for her to remind her children she could have died in childbirth. It was about Michelle. Anyone else recall this?

[Ohiopirate02]

I feel the need to defend Jessa here.  She does not like cake and does not want to pay for it.  And, I do not blame her one bit.  Cake is a third tier dessert at best especially a cheap sheet cake.  There are far better desserts out there like ice cream, donuts, pie, baklava, cookies, brownies, tiramisu, flan, panna cotta, eclairs, fruit tarts, crème brule, cannoli, etc.  If I ever do actually get married one day, I will not have a wedding cake.  I will have pie and a cookie table.  

[Nysha]

15 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I feel the need to defend Jessa here.  She does not like cake and does not want to pay for it.  And, I do not blame her one bit.  Cake is a third tier dessert at best especially a cheap sheet cake.  There are far better desserts out there like ice cream, donuts, pie, baklava, cookies, brownies, tiramisu, flan, panna cotta, eclairs, fruit tarts, crème brule, cannoli, etc.  If I ever do actually get married one day, I will not have a wedding cake.  I will have pie and a cookie table.  

I think having an ice cream sundae buffet instead of a wedding cake is a great idea. Unless you're holding the reception in the parking lot in November. 

As for the children's birthdays, it's not that she doesn't serve cake or wrap presents, it's that she doesn't do anything festive. I think the donut with the big candle smashed into it was probably the best 'birthday cake' served. The one year the cake was ice cream it was a rock solid container that had been in the freezer forever. 

Nothing Jessa does suggests she takes anyone else's feelings/needs/wants when making plans. 

[Ohiopirate02]

17 minutes ago, Nysha said:

I think having an ice cream sundae buffet instead of a wedding cake is a great idea. Unless you're holding the reception in the parking lot in November. 

As for the children's birthdays, it's not that she doesn't serve cake or wrap presents, it's that she doesn't do anything festive. I think the donut with the big candle smashed into it was probably the best 'birthday cake' served. The one year the cake was ice cream it was a rock solid container that had been in the freezer forever. 

Nothing Jessa does suggests she takes anyone else's feelings/needs/wants when making plans. 

I get critiquing Jessa for half-assing celebrations and for her mirroring her upbringing with her children.  I'm all for talking about this. I do think Jessa is her mother's child and is raising her children in the exact same way her mother did. Michelle didn't give a shit about birthdays, so Jessa does the same.  

What I will push back on is the idea that cake is some sort of god-level dessert that absolutely must be served for every celebration the person who's being feted (and paying for it) be damned.  I have never been to a wedding where the cake was so delicious I was figuring out how to smuggle some more home with me.  Most of the time, I eat two bites while pretending to enjoy it.  

[iwantcookies]

The kids will probably use the oven as a play house 🤣

[Tikichick]

27 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I get critiquing Jessa for half-assing celebrations and for her mirroring her upbringing with her children.  I'm all for talking about this. I do think Jessa is her mother's child and is raising her children in the exact same way her mother did. Michelle didn't give a shit about birthdays, so Jessa does the same.  

What I will push back on is the idea that cake is some sort of god-level dessert that absolutely must be served for every celebration the person who's being feted (and paying for it) be damned.  I have never been to a wedding where the cake was so delicious I was figuring out how to smuggle some more home with me.  Most of the time, I eat two bites while pretending to enjoy it.  

It's not about the cake (or even the unwrapped gifts).   Gifts are ordered and given to each child during filming for social media over the course of several days and that's the sum total of personal touches.   If they had a fairly common tradition of the birthday person picking the dinner and we saw kids happily digging into spaghetti, hot dogs or even cereal that would be great because it truly is the thought that counts. 

57 minutes ago, Nysha said:

I think having an ice cream sundae buffet instead of a wedding cake is a great idea. Unless you're holding the reception in the parking lot in November. 

As for the children's birthdays, it's not that she doesn't serve cake or wrap presents, it's that she doesn't do anything festive. I think the donut with the big candle smashed into it was probably the best 'birthday cake' served. The one year the cake was ice cream it was a rock solid container that had been in the freezer forever. 

Nothing Jessa does suggests she takes anyone else's feelings/needs/wants when making plans. 

There's the issue in a nutshell -- aside from the fact that Ben is equally culpable.   Both parents share the responsibility.   This would have started to happen only one time with our children for my husband to have immediately be firing questions at me and promptly hustling everyone into the car on the way to the kid's favorite restaurant, probably followed by the ice cream parlor.   Guarantee next birthday would have been preceded with questions about the plans or my being informed what he had planned. 

[Nysha]

41 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

What I will push back on is the idea that cake is some sort of god-level dessert that absolutely must be served for every celebration the person who's being feted (and paying for it) be damned.  I have never been to a wedding where the cake was so delicious I was figuring out how to smuggle some more home with me.  Most of the time, I eat two bites while pretending to enjoy it.  

I'm with you on the birthday cake. My late husband use to make me a sour cream white cake with sour cream fudge as the frosting which is divine, but that's pretty much the only cake I've ever liked. Since he passed I usually have cherry cheesecake or berry pie for my birthday dessert. And no candles because it takes 3 boxes and sets off the smoke alarm. 

[Ohiopirate02]

42 minutes ago, Nysha said:

I'm with you on the birthday cake. My late husband use to make me a sour cream white cake with sour cream fudge as the frosting which is divine, but that's pretty much the only cake I've ever liked. Since he passed I usually have cherry cheesecake or berry pie for my birthday dessert. And no candles because it takes 3 boxes and sets off the smoke alarm. 

I successfully lit 60 individual candles one one cake for my mom a few years ago.  Stupid store was out of either the 6 or the 0 and I was in a hurry.  

[cmr2014]

I agree about the cake.

The issue isn't cake per se, but celebration. Most of us associate cake and ice cream with a child's birthday, but that isn't required. Ivy has no peers. She won't be going to birthday parties for anyone outside the cult any more than Jessa did, and won't have any expectations about the specifics of a celebration.

I don't think the Amazon boxes/pillow cases have anything to do with waste or re-use or anything even remotely "green," it's something bone-lazy that has been re-labeled as "fun." It's exactly the sort of thing J'chelle would have done under the heading of "doing things a little differently," or "saving money."

They all have a very tortured relationship with the idea of "children" and "childhood." The gen2 kids are all granted a free sloppy sundae and an extra 30 minutes of face time with their parents to make their birthdays "special," but Gothard is 100% about making sure children don't feel special at all. Children are expected to "do for" their parents, not the other way around. The main focus of the "celebration" is around the mother's pain and suffering in giving birth to the birthday boy/girl -- what fun!

This may be one of the rare instances where Jessa wants something for her kids that she didn't have as a child, but she has no clue how to make that happen, or it may be something that Ben wants for his kids, and Jessa has stepped in and insisted on nothing "too special" and cut it back to cardboard boxes and pillow cases . . .

[BetyBee]

Jessa & Ben do the lamest birthday "celebrations" for their kids. I do think she puts some thought into their gifts and the kids are so young, they don't know any different. Ben seems to wander into the room when the child is opening the gift of the day as if he can't be bothered. If they wrapped the presents and the child was permitted to open all of their gifts, maybe he'd stick around and watch.

I know we talk about the disgusting Bertha couch a lot, but I'm crossing my fingers that they don't bring their gross kitchen table to the new house. That table is so disgusting with the crumb filled grooves. Yuck!

[emmawoodhouse]

What happens if one (or more) of her kids have cake, say at a cousin's birthday party, and discover they really like it. Will Jessa bake them a cake because the KID wants it, or will she continue to be selfish and present rock hard ice cream or donuts? 

And for the record, my wedding "cake" was an Italian creme puff tower. 😀