Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[GEML]

We all might not like to admit it, but Josh was able to support Anna (assuming he actually showed up at the job - and I do think he was miserable) when they married young. I think Jim Bob is capable of setting up most of his children (Ben included) in jobs that make a living, even if the TLC checks stop tomorrow. The question is, are those the kind of jobs those kids are going to want or be able to take and make good on them? For someone like John David, yes. For Ben, who has said he's an office kind of guy, no, it's not. Ben NEEDS the education that people like Jim Bob scorn. Not because he can't physically work to put food on the table, but because he will be miserable in a few years doing that knowing he has 40 more years of that to do.

[jb0495]

Interesting article about Jessa's pregnancy rumors.

http://starcasm.net/archives/301337

[3girlsforus]

I agree GEML that Josh is currently putting food on the table for his family. But I do think that there is more concern than just ending up in jobs that make them miserable. If they don't get training/education etc that they choose themselves and instead let JimBob set them up, it's just one more way they are not going to be able to establish themselves as their own family - they will continue to just be an extension of JimBob. I think getting out from under JimBob's intense influence is just as key (if not moreso) to them being happy as having a job they like.

Edited January 2, 2015 by 3girlsforus

[Mrsjumbo]

There has been a lot of talk about the kids just going on bc, but I don't know any Christian religion that actually teaches that. I'm catholic, & most Catholics learn about the natural family planning- & then go out & get on bc. :)

The way these kids have been brainwashed to obey, & the value that is placed on having children, I don't think any will be brave enough to even consider bc.

[RazzleberryPie]

There has been a lot of talk about the kids just going on bc, but I don't know any Christian religion that actually teaches that. I'm catholic, & most Catholics learn about the natural family planning- & then go out & get on bc. :)

The way these kids have been brainwashed to obey, & the value that is placed on having children, I don't think any will be brave enough to even consider bc.

LDS used to be very anti-birth control, bc your family already exists in heaven and BC prevents spirit babies from being born on earth.

 

Gothard vows require couples to declare they'll allow God to decide the size of their families, so I guess it's up to how seriously couples take that part of their vows. I can see Jill never considering BC, but Jessa deciding God told her its ok to space kids out with natural planning or non-bc planning.

[Barb23]

My daughter just recently married at 22. She is a working registered nurse in the NICU. I have no problem with her marrying young she is the right kind of person for that. I only asked her that they both finish college first so that she could have a way to take care of herself, always.

My niece, 24, is also an RN in a PICU. They are all special ladies & men who have chosen to work with & help the sickest of newborns & children. That shows a great level of maturity in my book. (Kudos to all nurses, by the way)

  

 

 

I agree. It's not the age - its the preparation. I was 22 when I got married but both my husband and I were done with college and had good jobs. If they had a way to support themselves it wouldn't be nearly so concerning. Of course now that my oldest is 19 I try to forget that I was only 3 years older than her when I got married and tell her its best to wait for another 20 years :-)

I agree. I was 22 & my husband 24 when we married. Like you, we were prepared with good jobs & had saved enough to buy a house on our own. Our parents were great role models & prepared us for the "real world". I laughed at your last line - I feel the same way with my son.

[Darknight]

LDS used to be very anti-birth control, bc your family already exists in heaven and BC prevents spirit babies from being born on earth.

Gothard vows require couples to declare they'll allow God to decide the size of their families, so I guess it's up to how seriously couples take that part of their vows. I can see Jill never considering BC, but Jessa deciding God told her its ok to space kids out with natural planning or non-bc planning.

But gothard doesn't want to help care for these kids

Getting married back then was different than now. Women had no rights back then and had nothing else to do so they got married young. Couples back then could survive off of a minimal education even a diploma. The cost of living wasn't as expensive now. JimChelle got married young and due to luck it worked out for them however getting married young now isn't the norm. What company is going to hire an 18 year old ignorant ass homeschool student? Or a person with no education or experience. Ben isn't like JB at all. The cost of living and raising a family costs lots more money than 30 years ago. Unfortunately I see this all backfiring in the future. Ben's parents better give their horny son a pep talk and some condoms

[Fosca]

I suspect Ben and Jessa are working on the "If we do what God wants, God will provide" principle.  After all, JimBob and Michelle are very well off now merely because of their fertility and churning out kids; why shouldn't the same be true of the next generation?  God obviously gave them the TV show, and certainly something similar will come for the kids who also have as many children as they can. 

 

So what if other Quiverfull families have problems?  Obviously God isn't on their side, like the Duggar's. 

 

And then there's the personal fable, where adolescents tend to think that bad things will never happen to them because they are so special and different from anyone else.  Add a Duggar/Gothard upbringing to that, and none of this is surprising to me.

[Higgins]

But gothard doesn't want to help care for these kids

Getting married back then was different than now. Women had no rights back then and had nothing else to do so they got married young. Couples back then could survive off of a minimal education even a diploma. The cost of living wasn't as expensive now. JimChelle got married young and due to luck it worked out for them however getting married young now isn't the norm. What company is going to hire an 18 year old ignorant ass homeschool student? Or a person with no education or experience. Ben isn't like JB at all. The cost of living and raising a family costs lots more money than 30 years ago. Unfortunately I see this all backfiring in the future. Ben's parents better give their horny son a pep talk and some condoms

What do you mean by back then. I married at 20 in 1989 and I don't remember a time in my 45 years of ever having no rights.

Edited January 2, 2015 by Higgins

[Jellybeans]

But gothard doesn't want to help care for these kidsGetting married back then was different than now. Women had no rights back then and had nothing else to do so they got married young. Couples back then could survive off of a minimal education even a diploma.

I married in '73, had my my first kid in '74. Seems like I had all the rights in the world. Hubs was going to school, working and I had the freedom to do what I want. At that time, Ms magazine had opened the doors for women. I didn't get married because I had "nothing to do".

Jessa has options as well but it is up to her to take them.

[Jynnan tonnix]

What do you mean by back then. I married at 20 in 1989 and I don't remember at time in my 45 years of ever having no rights.

I married at 26 in 1985 and while I suppose there are a few things that have progressed since then, I certainly never felt as though I was being denied any fundamental rights either.

[Darknight]

I married in '73, had my my first kid in '74. Seems like I had all the rights in the world. Hubs was going to school, working and I had the freedom to do what I want. At that time, Ms magazine had opened the doors for women. I didn't get married because I had "nothing to do".

Jessa has options as well but it is up to her to take them.

My grandmother got married because after high school there weren't many things for her to do, which was a general statement. People especially women married young because there weren't many opportunities available. Also back then living was cheaper than it is now, so getting married at 18 wasn't unheard of

What do you mean by back then. I married at 20 in 1989 and I don't remember at time in my 45 years of ever having no rights.

Back then, basing my comments on my grandmother's age. She married young to get away and because there was nothing else for her to do

[frenchtoast]

Let's get back to talking about Jessa and Ben, please. Any talk about your, a friends or family's marriage can be taken to the Prayer Closet.

[Higgins]

I have never felt limited as a woman. I have always had choices. I didn't marry young because there was nothing else to do. I wanted to be a wife and a mother. That was my choice. When my kids were able to care for themselves I chose to go to college and become a nurse. It seems to me if anything, the men had less choice. They were looked down upon if they had chosen to be a stay at home father. Of course, that has changed somewhat and choice is good.

Sorry, I posted at the same time as you, Frenchtoast.

Edited January 2, 2015 by Higgins

[BitterApple]

I really hope Bin finishes school or learns a trade instead of just coasting with the TLC gig. Eventually he's going to have to earn income and he doesn't want to be in a position where he's thirty and trying to enter the workforce with no education, no job skills and no practical  experience.

[Jellybeans]

Back then, basing my comments on my grandmother's age. She married young to get away and because there was nothing else for her to do

Taking this to the Prayer Closet.

[GEML]

One of the big problems with Natural family planning (which does work) is that the girls are so young they may not have consistent cycles yet. It's hard to track when you skip around a few weeks, even if it's only two months out of the year. Jessa may really try and keep from getting pregnant and still get "caught"

[Lemur]

God help me for thinking this, but if she's getting off the "prison cycle" (because let's face it - all those girls are probably synced up for a group visit from Aunt Flo), she probably has no idea where she is in her own cycle.  

[3girlsforus]

There will be a few other problems for Jessa with Natural Family Planning. Actually NFP requires basal temperature taking every morning and charting cycles. This helps avoid the problems with just counting days especially for those people with less regular cycles. However, it's a technique you have to learn. To use it she would have actively learn how to do it and deal with it daily.  So if she's doing all that charting and temp taking it will be one more thing that will focus her on fertility, making it even harder to buck her life-long "programming" that having babies is her purpose in life. 

[cereality]

Absent any problems, I think baby no. 1 is coming pretty soon for Ben and Jessa. Assuming they're not doing anything for protection, it's just a matter of time. But after that I could see them spacing things out -- whether that means NFP or using BC on the down low or whatever because I honestly don't see Jessa wanting to deal with labor and delivery over and over just for the chance to have more and more blessings she doesn't want. I feel like her fundie mom and sisters see it as a "wow look at all the pain and sacrifice I went through to bring a baby into the world, this is  my purpose, I must do it again," I see Jessa thinking -- I'm not freaking doing that more than once again, that sucked. I could see her being the one who does things to prevent pregnancy on the DL so that she doesn't have to deal with all the physical aspects.

[jb0495]

I for one am actually excited for Jessa to become pregnant because I can't imagine all the snark worthy commentary that will come from it! After the surprisingly heartfelt proposal, I'm really looking forward to the next season to see wedding planning also. It will be interesting for sure!

[Joe Jitsu913]

I can't wait because Jessa is vain and pregnancy is no picnic. I wonder how it will affect Jessa's looks when her feet are swollen and she gets stretch marks. Who knows? She may embrace it but I have a hunch she'll hate it.

[GEML]

I still think even with the "prison cycle" they may have some trouble tracking their cycles. Especially if some of us are correct that they are eating regularly to keep their weight down.

[mbutterfly]

But gothard doesn't want to help care for these kids

Getting married back then was different than now. Women had no rights back then and had nothing else to do so they got married young. Couples back then could survive off of a minimal education even a diploma. The cost of living wasn't as expensive now. JimChelle got married young and due to luck it worked out for them however getting married young now isn't the norm. What company is going to hire an 18 year old ignorant ass homeschool student? Or a person with no education or experience. Ben isn't like JB at all. The cost of living and raising a family costs lots more money than 30 years ago. Unfortunately I see this all backfiring in the future. Ben's parents better give their horny son a pep talk and some condoms

I'm not certain what you mean by women didn't have rights back then. I got married more like 50 years ago and had all sorts of rights. It was harder to get into law school or med school -- those kinds of goals, but not impossible. We are the Gloria Steinem generation, you know. 

[Absolom]

They may not all be on the same cycle.  I've lived in college dorms, a house full of daughters, a sorority house, etc. and never experienced the phenomenon.  I used to think it was just an urban legend.

[Fuzzysox]

Actually, Erin has no problem BECOMING pregnant. Just STAYING pregnant (three times in less than a year). But other than that, point taken. We have no clue how fertile Benessa will be; who knows, they could be Rh incompatible and only able to have one. 

I believe Kelly had the same issue and was on drugs for it. Wasn't there a big brewhaha about her getting public assistance to help her to get pregnant and stay pregnant??

I can't wait because Jessa is vain and pregnancy is no picnic. I wonder how it will affect Jessa's looks when her feet are swollen and she gets stretch marks. Who knows? She may embrace it but I have a hunch she'll hate it.

Jessa will give us Kim K face (Kim crying about how much she hates being pregnant--worse thing ever) if she starts to bloat up from the pregnancy weight.

[Higgins]

Could be a progesterone problem.

[DangerousMinds]

I really hope Bin finishes school or learns a trade instead of just coasting with the TLC gig. Eventually he's going to have to earn income and he doesn't want to be in a position where he's thirty and trying to enter the workforce with no education, no job skills and no practical  experience.

And probably 6+ kids to support by then.

[RandomX]

Ben has choices, too. He can stay on the gravy train, knowing that it means getting his chain (necktie) yanked on a regular basis by Jim Bob, or he can establish some independence for himself and his family. It doesn't have to be 100% either/or, but if he doesn't start planning his future soon he'll find himself scrubbing toilets for Smuggar in another ten years.

[cereality]

Ben has choices, too. He can stay on the gravy train, knowing that it means getting his chain (necktie) yanked on a regular basis by Jim Bob, or he can establish some independence for himself and his family. It doesn't have to be 100% either/or, but if he doesn't start planning his future soon he'll find himself scrubbing toilets for Smuggar in another ten years.

Very true. It's cute that father in law can give 19 yr old son in law a job, but the reality is that JB won't be running his businesses forever and will be handing down his properties, cell phone towers, car dealerships etc. to his sons -- in large part because his sons will need sources of income. So eventually it will go from Ben working for his father in law to Ben working for whichever businesses need a handyman/cleaning person at the time. Not sure how he'll feel taking orders from Josh or even Jackson a decade from now. He and Jessa are so young they may not have that kind of long term planning -- now is the time to establish some kind of path or career of his own, so that he isn't on Jackson's beckon call one day.

 

Though I don't know -- the fact that Ben and Jessa have been so quiet leads me to believe that maybe they are cooking up something that they don't want anyone to know about. Maybe it's regarding Ben finishing an AA degree and then going to college for a BS, maybe they're planning to move to Hot Springs where Ben can learn a trade. Who knows -- but I hope they're thinking about it in addition to their baby planning because it is important.

[floridamom]

A good point, cereality. Yes, Jim Bob has many sons to pass down his businesses and properties to through inheritance one day. Those guys are first in line to "own" the assets, not the many sons-in-law that JB will have in the future. Ben needs to realize that he's second string in that area. Yes, he does need to prepare for and provide for his own financial future.

Funny, how Jessa is posting biblical passages about ending the old ways and taking up the new. I think she's referring to the old and new covenants and testaments of the bible. So, why does this family hold on to things from the old testament, ie, abstaining after childbirth a certain number of days, not eating pork, etc, and take on the pagan style of men shaving their faces? If they wanted to never be confused with being a pagan, the old testament states that men of God need never shave their sideburns and grow beards. They certainly do pick and choose what they and Mr. Gothard deem to be godly and correct.

[Absolom]

Now that Jessa has married a Calvinist, perhaps she'll adopt his belief system and drop a lot or all of Gothard.  I'm not sure it's any better, but it's somewhat less legalistic. Although I'm not sure Ben is mature enough to keep track of the differences in the belief systems.

[GEML]

I can answer some of the questions about the taking on the Old Testament in the Religion thread. Short answer - there was a movement to make Christians feel more Jewish/Chosen people starting about 25 years ago that is responsible for a lot of it - not only Gothard. Many mainstream churches now celebrate Passover with Seders - it's now that common.

I'm hopeful that Jessa and Ben really are trying to put together their own life. I imagine it's going to be a very religious, very conservative (small c) one, but as long as it's one they've chosen and shaped for themselves they will have accomplished something.

[CarolMK]

One thing I'm hoping for is that they don't get singled out and picked on if they don't conceive right away. I feel that for any of the Duggar daughters, they'll be compared with Michelle and the public will be speculating why Jessa hasn't suddenly gotten pregnant the way Jill did right after marriage. Even if it's the truth, I'm sure Jessa and Ben would never publicly announce that they've decided to limit the size of their family. I have no idea on what his parent's view on birth control is..it seems lilke they chose not to use any...but still, his mom and dad had 7 children in 20 years of marriage. This seems more to be in line with what would be normal for most people not using birth control..having 19 in as many years has to fall on the extremely high end of fertility. 

[NausetGirl]

One thing I'm hoping for is that they don't get singled out and picked on if they don't conceive right away. I feel that for any of the Duggar daughters, they'll be compared with Michelle and the public will be speculating why Jessa hasn't suddenly gotten pregnant the way Jill did right after marriage. Even if it's the truth, I'm sure Jessa and Ben would never publicly announce that they've decided to limit the size of their family. I have no idea on what his parent's view on birth control is..it seems lilke they chose not to use any...but still, his mom and dad had 7 children in 20 years of marriage. This seems more to be in line with what would be normal for most people not using birth control..having 19 in as many years has to fall on the extremely high end of fertility. 

 

Sorry to say it but I think it's a complete Given that Jessa will be compared to Mechelle and questioned if she does not become pregnant within a year - probably even less.  There are people speculating now.

[Jellybeans]

Sorry to say it but I think it's a complete Given that Jessa will be compared to Mechelle and questioned if she does not become pregnant within a year - probably even less.  There are people speculating now.

I don't think Jessa will care what people think of her "fertility".

[msblossom]

She may not, but the premise of the show is to observe how one family makes it their life's purpose to underscore the importance of fertility and going against the grain of secular thinking in terms of family planning. So in that case it fairly or unfairly (depending on your pov) sets up Jessa for speculation.

I personally don't care either way how many children Jessa may or may not have.

[NausetGirl]

I don't think Jessa will care what people think of her "fertility".

 

Agree.  I don't think Jessa will care either - and good for her.  But it's inevitable that she'll be compared to the other married Duggar females. She already has been, as was Jill. This family has set themselves up for it.

Edited January 9, 2015 by NausetGirl

[yogi2014L]

Now that Jessa has married a Calvinist, perhaps she'll adopt his belief system and drop a lot or all of Gothard.  I'm not sure it's any better, but it's somewhat less legalistic. Although I'm not sure Ben is mature enough to keep track of the differences in the belief systems.

Sorry if this was touched on before but what is a Calvinist?

 

I've been following the Duggars for years. I do NOT Have a good feeling about Jessa and Ben. I will be happy to see them divorced hopefully before children come but we will not see that happen. They have no business being married and I would say the same for any 19 yo male/ 22 yo female without practical life experience. Especially once you compare them to JillyDilly. Poor Jessa/ Poor Ben. Hopefully they have some normal people support too not just the wackadoos.

Edited January 8, 2015 by yogi2014L

[kassygreene]

I don't have a good long-term feeling about any of these people.  I've said previously in this forum that I'm waiting for the E! True Hollywood Story, but my golly this is a super-slow motion train wreck.  I feel bad for the victims, but the players who have enabled it (Duggar pere et mere, and TLC et al) really need to reap this whirlwind.  Soon.

 

My understanding of Calvinism is that it is a stern variant of Protestantism.  Wikipedia tells me it is a major, but not Lutheran, branch of Protestantism.  

 

A fanfic writer I used to follow (she's GAFIA-ted (Got Away From It All), so no links, sorry, it was good stuff) once had a Jewish character muse that it was difficult to tell all those Protestant sects apart.  I don't have anything further that isn't provocatively snarky, so thus endeth the reply.

[bigskygirl]

No offense, but I would not want to model married life after Jill and Derick. She has the same type of emotional growth as Jessa has. Jill has no real life experience outside the Duggar compound either. She reminds me of Michelle, and in a round about way, Derick reminds me of Jim Bob. He blindly goes along with what Jill wants and wants to make her happy. I would love to see Derick/Jill and Jessa/Ben in about ten years. Will Jill be giggling and talking about her sweet, awesome, and special husband and kids, and will Jessa still have her stink face and bossing Ben around like there is no tomorrow? Will Ben grow a pair and will Derick just sit there and smile and parrot the same thing he says now about Jill and the in-laws?

[jb0495]

Jill has no real life experience outside the Duggar compound either.

At least Jill became a midwife or she's close to becoming one. So she's better read than Jessa & has the experience of meeting/interacting with other people. Even if many of the clients are Gothard/religious, she still has more experiences than Jessa. She can handle herself calmly in those situations. She also married Derick which is better than marrying Ben in the long run.

[bigskygirl]

Jill has no real life experience outside the Duggar compound either.

At least Jill became a midwife or she's close to becoming one. So she's better read than Jessa & has the experience of meeting/interacting with other people. Even if many of the clients are Gothard/religious, she still has more experiences than Jessa. She can handle herself calmly in those situations. She also married Derick which is better than marrying Ben in the long run.

Move my answer to this to the Jill and Derick thread.

[BitterApple]

I think Jessa and Ben are going to have a six month honeymoon period and then it will be downhill from there. I think Ben will get tired of being run over and emasculated and Jessa will get bored and probably think she could have done better. I think her motivation to get married was based on wanting to escape the TTH and a fear of becoming the next Jana if she didn't push things along.

[Sew Sumi]

One thing I'm hoping for is that they don't get singled out and picked on if they don't conceive right away. I feel that for any of the Duggar daughters, they'll be compared with Michelle and the public will be speculating why Jessa hasn't suddenly gotten pregnant the way Jill did right after marriage. Even if it's the truth, I'm sure Jessa and Ben would never publicly announce that they've decided to limit the size of their family. I have no idea on what his parent's view on birth control is..it seems lilke they chose not to use any...but still, his mom and dad had 7 children in 20 years of marriage. This seems more to be in line with what would be normal for most people not using birth control..having 19 in as many years has to fall on the extremely high end of fertility. 

Ben's youngest sibling is 7, IIRC, so that means Guinn actually had 7 kids in 13 years. Nothing wrong with her fertility then. So then, why the drought ever since? Did she have a hystorectomy that they're not owning up to (a bad thing in fundie circles? I have no clue)? The timing also lines up with the recession, and the point in time that Mike Seewald stopped working for his father in the pre-fab housing business. They very well could have decided NO MORE KIDS and taken measures to prevent them. But who knows? Maybe Mikey had the snip-snip, or Guinn is on the pill? On the sly, of course. They could never openly admit that now. All that said, I'd bet on the hystorectomy, and if so, I wonder what Ben knows and how it might affect his views on family size?

[GEML]

I don't think the hysterectomy would be a bad thing if it was for medical reasons, and a prolapsed uterus (ie, the uterus was "falling out") is a medical reason. It could certainly happen after so many children, and would cause her terrible pain.

[yogi2014L]

I don't have a good long-term feeling about any of these people.  I've said previously in this forum that I'm waiting for the E! True Hollywood Story, but my golly this is a super-slow motion train wreck.  I feel bad for the victims, but the players who have enabled it (Duggar pere et mere, and TLC et al) really need to reap this whirlwind.  Soon.

 

My understanding of Calvinism is that it is a stern variant of Protestantism.  Wikipedia tells me it is a major, but not Lutheran, branch of Protestantism.  

 

A fanfic writer I used to follow (she's GAFIA-ted (Got Away From It All), so no links, sorry, it was good stuff) once had a Jewish character muse that it was difficult to tell all those Protestant sects apart.  I don't have anything further that isn't provocatively snarky, so thus endeth the reply.

Thank you! I'll have to do some more researching because you say Protestantism and I'm not quite sure what that even means  ( I'm a heathan yogi, ) lol

I am holding out hope that the younger kids ( the few under 10) will go on to lead somewhat normal lives and hopefully go to college and get some exposure to the outside world. I do think with the new spouses the cycle will be broken with the grandkids. They will know more normal people ( due to spouses non fundi families, ect) I think the m kids are going to be pretty mainstream and just be regular old religious teens who go to youth group, go to college and IDK wear pants. I do not think Mack is going to suffer the same as Anna, or Jslaves. I don't have much hope for normalcy from the Jslaves aside from maybe some of them will only have a few kids. 

I think Jessa and Ben are going to have a six month honeymoon period and then it will be downhill from there. I think Ben will get tired of being run over and emasculated and Jessa will get bored and probably think she could have done better. I think her motivation to get married was based on wanting to escape the TTH and a fear of becoming the next Jana if she didn't push things along.

OH yeah, honeymoon will be over before 1st baby comes and if not, def after 1st baby. Unless JBOOB funds them forever they are probably going to be pretty poor also- unless Jessa has mad TLC money stuffed away. They have most of the huge indicators for divorce

1- Short 'dating' period ( should be non existent but I digress)

2- No College education

3- Married before 25

4* I want to write "married for sex" but I don't know if that can be proved unlike the other 3 points that can be backed by research

Edited January 12, 2015 by yogi2014L

[GEML]

I imagine that Josh makes it a priority for HIS children to at least have a real chance to attend college.

[cereality]

I agree with the posters that comparisons in that family are inevitable -- who tries to compete with JB and Michelle to go for 19; who decides 2-3 is enough and goes against God's will; the poor couple that may have miscarriage or infertility issues etc. -- it is all going to be a topic of conservation within the family -- as I suspect the girls will talk behind each others' backs when enough are married and with child -- and of course in the fundie community. BUT I don't see Jessa caring as much as the average fundie girl. The average fundie girl like Anna or Jill would be devastated and worried sick if they didn't get pregnant quick with the first one and have another kid every few years -- I mean look at Erin now; it's been one year and she is broken hearted. Of all the fundie girls we've seen, I can see Jessa caring the least. Sure she'd be annoyed if people kept asking her why she wasn't pregnant or why she wasn't having another but I can see her saying "when the Lord wills" in a sarcastic tone while smirking about the fact that she and Ben get to have hot sex and she doesn't have to be up 10 times a night or doing diapers or anything, while all her sisters "suffer."

 

Realistically I think Jessa and Ben are probably pregnant already. I mean a couple in the early 20s having sex on the regular with no protection will get pregnant sooner rather than later barring issues. I imagine Ben wants a big family more than Jessa does -- she likely doesn't want to be pregnant tons of times, nor does she want the household responsibilities, while Ben probably isn't worried about providing for 10 kids bc he's thinking "God will provide" or "JB will provide" or "I'm on the TLC train, what's the problem." But since Jessa seems to be the more dominant one in that relationship, I can see her slowing down the baby train after the first 2-3. Maybe she'll be able to convince him to use BC, but if she can't -- I can totally see her going on BC herself on the down low or even having a C-section with a child and asking to have her tubes tied during the procedure. I mean it's not like she could trick Ben into the V if he is convinced that it's not what God wants, but he's not the brightest or most well educated fellow out there -- she could easily have a discussion with her drs. in advance re a tubal and he'd never know; even if it came out later, she could easily say "oh it's part of the C-section surgery as I had a little complication, but I'm great. Can't wait to start trying again" and he'd be fine.

 

Ben's youngest sibling is about 5 and his parents are in their late 30s. Sure -- it's probably harder to get pregnant immediately anymore, but assuming that his last brother was born when his mom was 35-36, if they were trying -- chances are she would have conceived another kid or 2 in the last 5 years. I would not be at all surprised if Seewalds and many other fundie families out there without TLC families are actually using some protection on the DL -- even if it's just NFP. I only wish Mike had sat down Ben prior to the wedding and said -- son, you're marrying at 19 and babies will come but there's no need to prove your "manhood" on the first night by having a honeymoon baby; you and Jessa need to discuss ways of delaying pregnancy while you figure out a full time job and school.

 

While the Seewalds are all kinds of crazy, are they a bit more "permissive" with their kids? One their website, in the bios -- they list their 17-18 yr old daughter as having a part time job and also enjoying ultimate Frisbee. No way the Duggar girls have those kinds of athletic interests, as I imagine that's only ok for boys, not for girls who should worry about their countenance.

[Sew Sumi]

Mike Seewald would never have had that talk with Ben because Mike and Guinn conceived Ben as a honeymoon baby when they were 19/20. He totally SUPPORTS this hot mess, as his "Marrying Young" essay proved.