Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House

[lookeyloo]

I just did laundry and dropped my gym shirt and a sock. I just put them into the dryer. I assume my own floor is clean enough. We don’t get sick. I always wash my hands well before touching any food. And at other times too. That will have to be enough!!!

[Sew Sumi]

Ivy update (6 pics)

[Tigregirl]

She looks like Spur in the first picture.  I know they’re the style but I hate those bows!

[xwordfanatik]

What a cute little girl.  Lose the big bow.  I hate that trend and hope it goes bye-bye soon.

[GeeGolly]

Oh my. No swipe up for Fowl and Roosters?

[Temperance]

30 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Oh my. No swipe up for Fowl and Roosters?

Don't they make clothes for adults?

[Nysha]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Oh my. No swipe up for Fowl and Roosters?

I was going to ask if Ivy's outfit came from Hen & Chicken. 

The expression on her face in the first picture made me think of Anna Duggar and then I remembered she's only related to her by marriage.

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Oh my. No swipe up for Fowl and Roosters?

Guess Rhea Lana doesn't give  out that sort of deal.....

[Temperance]

23 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

Guess Rhea Lana doesn't give  out that sort of deal.....

Well it's a consignment shop, so you probably can't order that outfit. 

[floridamom]

That is one ugly outfit on Ivy...chickens?  Ben in a young man, why is trying to look like a tinred 50 year old?

Oops, that's "TIRED".

[BetyBee]

Well, I'm a sucker for chickens, so I really like cute, chubby Ivy in this silly outfit...but I can't stand those stupid head wraps!

[Churchhoney]

3 hours ago, floridamom said:

That is one ugly outfit on Ivy...chickens?  Ben in a young man, why is trying to look like a tinred 50 year old?

Oops, that's "TIRED".

I think the outfit's kind of cute, actually! But Bin, on the other hand...

Maybe he feels like a tired old man? Or he's trying to look "adult" because he doesn't feel like one of those? 

I mean, he's a few months past his 24th birthday, and back when he was 19 he delusionally thought the world was his oyster and he was going to be somebody (in his nutso, half-assed religious world, at least.)

He was gonna be the good-looking athletic hardbody Duggar son-in-law, speak out on social media to tell the world how it should behave and go on (TLC-created) adventures (that he got to pretend he conceived of and arranged.)

Now he's got three kids (with God knows how many more in the offing), (presumably) no education still, some "job" as JB's flunky that's apparently too embarrassing even to describe or mention and that's probably the very definition of "dead end," no apparent friends, no adventures TLC-created or otherwise, a hard ban on most social-media communication, and a hen  wife who rules the chicken roost completely, pecking all the way.

He's become the poster child of "Be Careful What You Wish For"!  (or of "Think Very Very Very Very Very Very Carefully Before You Marry a Duggar! Cause You May Be Marrying JB and M")

Edited September 25, 2019 by Churchhoney

[xwordfanatik]

He's become the poster child of "Be Careful What You Wish For"!  (or of "Think Very Very Very Very Very Very Carefully Before You Marry a Duggar! Cause You May Be Marrying JB and M")

It's a shame teenage Ben didn't have the smarts to realize this.

Quote

Sorry I messed up the quote thing!  Churchhoney, I love your posts.

[Minivanessa]

3 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

He's become the poster child of "Be Careful What You Wish For"!  (or of "Think Very Very Very Very Very Very Carefully Before You Marry a Duggar! Cause You May Be Marrying JB and M")

I have no pity for him. He hopped on the Duggar gravy train and it's chugging right along. He's not starving, or working double shifts to feed his family, or trying to take care of a child with special needs, or having his ass busted by big medical bills because someone in his family got sick or hurt bad. He's a fucking TV star, and yeah I know what if the gravy train stops and he's got a bunch of kids and then times will be hard? Maybe he'll be prepared for that, and even if he's not he'll survive it.

There are lots of people in this world who have my sympathy, and none of them are Duggars or Duggar in-laws.

Edited September 25, 2019 by Jeeves

[galaxychaser]

Yep she and Spurgeon look alike. Really cute baby and outfit.

[doodlebug]

5 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

Yep she and Spurgeon look alike. Really cute baby and outfit.

I do like that Jessa seemingly likes to dress her little girl in clothing that's not traditionally girly.  The baby pastels, ruffles and bows seem to be only a tiny fraction of her wardrobe.  I like the quirky stuff Ivy wears.  And, if she bought the outfit specifically because she thought Ivy's big brothers would find it funny; then I even like Jessa a little bit. 

Edited September 25, 2019 by doodlebug

[Churchhoney]

15 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I have no pity for him. He hopped on the Duggar gravy train and it's chugging right along. He's not starving, or working double shifts to feed his family, or trying to take care of a child with special needs, or having his ass busted by big medical bills because someone in his family got sick or hurt bad. He's a fucking TV star, and yeah I know what if the gravy train stops and he's got a bunch of kids and then times will be hard? Maybe he'll be prepared for that, and even if he's not he'll survive it.

There are lots of people in this world who have my sympathy, and none of them are Duggars or Duggar in-laws.

I mostly feel the same way. 

However, when a kind of dumb, very sheltered, uneducated and ignorant 18/19-year-old makes a huge decision under the propulsion of some urge or other -- and is firmly pushed along toward the wrong decision by tons of apparent "reasons" cited by his pretending-to-be-an-intellectual must-be-honored father-in-the-patriarchy -- I do feel a tiny smidgen of pity for that person.

Not so much for the decision as for their misfortune in being parented by such a thougthless arrogant dumb-ass while being largely deprived of schooling, independent information sources and outside influences for their whole lives. 

Short version: I do feel sorry for the not-so-bright children of the patriarchy and other authoritarian situations. All of them. At least a little bit. And at least for things they do when they're underage.

Edited September 25, 2019 by Churchhoney

[Minivanessa]

Just now, Churchhoney said:

I mostly feel the same way. 

However, when a kind of dumb, very sheltered, uneducated and ignorant 18/19-year-old makes a huge decision under the propulsion of some urge or other -- and is firmly pushed along toward the wrong decision by tons of apparent "reasons" cited by his pretending-to-be-an-intellectual must-be-honored father-in-the-patriarchy -- I do feel a tiny smidgen of pity for that person.

Not so much for the decision as for their misfortune in being parented by such a thougthless arrogant dumb-ass while being largely deprived of schooling, independent information sources and outside influences for their whole lives. 

I totally respect where you're coming from, and don't disagree with your statement. You're a very thoughtful person. 

[Churchhoney]

Just now, Jeeves said:

I totally respect where you're coming from, and don't disagree with your statement. You're a very thoughtful person. 

Thanks.

Not so much thoughtfulness, though --  just that I've kind of been there. So I know you may not be very well able to see the bigger picture of your behavior in any way, shape or form by age 18-19, when you've been largely deprived of agency and fed nothing but bullshit your whole caged life.......

I was like a 9-year-old at the age at which Bin married -- and I had had many many many more advantages that he did when it comes to things that help you gain independence. 

But, like you, I don't waste any energy pitying Bin!..... I do consider him an object lesson some of his compatriots would do well to consider, though......Looks like his sisters (and even his stupid father) may have gotten that message......But the Duggarlings -- maybe not....

[Zella]

31 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

I do consider him an object lesson some of his compatriots would do well to consider, though......Looks like his sisters (and even his stupid father) may have gotten that message......But the Duggarlings -- maybe not....

That's something I find the most interesting about Ben's family. I suspect he privately feels some buyer's remorse, but I think his family definitely does when it comes to the in-law situation. 

[crazycatlady58]

45 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

I mostly feel the same way. 

However, when a kind of dumb, very sheltered, uneducated and ignorant 18/19-year-old makes a huge decision under the propulsion of some urge or other -- and is firmly pushed along toward the wrong decision by tons of apparent "reasons" cited by his pretending-to-be-an-intellectual must-be-honored father-in-the-patriarchy -- I do feel a tiny smidgen of pity for that person.

Not so much for the decision as for their misfortune in being parented by such a thougthless arrogant dumb-ass while being largely deprived of schooling, independent information sources and outside influences for their whole lives. 

Short version: I do feel sorry for the not-so-bright children of the patriarchy and other authoritarian situations. All of them. At least a little bit. And at least for things they do when they're underage.

The thing is all the Dugger kids seem to be underage emotionally, so when people want the show to stop or someone to fail ,while I understand that ,these emotionally underage adults will be thrown into something they have no idea how to handle. I have doubts that they will learn how to handle life because of the way they have been raised. They have not been taught how to live life. If you are suppressed as a child and told this is the best/only way to live and do not have the education and possible do not have the gumption to change...

[Churchhoney]

59 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

The thing is all the Dugger kids seem to be underage emotionally, so when people want the show to stop or someone to fail ,while I understand that ,these emotionally underage adults will be thrown into something they have no idea how to handle. I have doubts that they will learn how to handle life because of the way they have been raised. They have not been taught how to live life. If you are suppressed as a child and told this is the best/only way to live and do not have the education and possible do not have the gumption to change...

I was raised that way, too. (not the religious thing -- other factors in my family) And I was way emotionally underage, too. And, as with them, when I left at age 18 I didn't even really know I was underage emotionally. Didn't even know what that would mean because I didn't understand what agency was and I didn't have a clue how other people actually behaved in their homes or in their personal lives. I'd never seen that. 

But when I was out in the world, I found out....a lot of times painfully. But I did find out. And I did survive -- because you have to. And there are jobs in the world, and people you can become friends with. And I did -- gradually -- mature to something close to a normal level. It took quite a few years. But it happened. And I'm far from the only one who's managed. 

People are meant to grow up. Human brains that are anywhere close to normal can grow up. So their brains could grow up, too. 

Plus, there are many many people out there who've left the Gothard cult and other similar cults and who completely understand what it's like and who a no-longer-quivering Duggar could become friends with and learn from. They've probably even met quite a few of these people over the years -- before those people fled the brainwashing and went out on their own.

A Duggarling would not have to be on its own. .... Besides all the many people who've left these cults and other repressive situations -- and have written books about it, have websites about it, have recovery groups about it, etc. -- some Duggarlings have non-Gothard spouses now who, in my opinion, are a helpful element (even when I hate them, like Jer and Der) because they expose the Duggs to more stuff they'd otherwise never encounter except with other Gothardites and/or their parents present, so their brains get a bit stimulated and some thinking can start (whether it does or not.) Post-show Duggarlings could band together with other Duggarlings, and that, too, could help.

They'd have to cope in another way -- and human beings can do that, even though it can be hard at first. 

In my opinion, it's terrible to keep the show on the air because it's now part of the trap keeping all these people suppressed -- and, even worse, to me, likely limits the options even their children may have.

Plus, I think the show's a danger to society because it normalizes a whole lot of crappy shit and makes some people think crappy repressive misogyny and psychological and spiritual child abuse is cute or quirky or constitutes harmless, "family" entertainment for the rest of us....It should not be normalized by the entertainment industry....at all....in my opinion. 

I'd bet the Gothard remainers (so many of whom have made their livings or at least part of them off this cult and want to continue) really really want the show to continue.....I wouldn't even be surprised if a bunch of them got together and suggested that nutso Live-In-Laura should start doing PR for the Duggars to help burnish their damn image and keep them on TeeVee......It's money for the remainers to keep the cult going (most of their new members starting in 2008 came from people who just "loved" the Duggars on TeeVee, some disenchanted Gothardites have said), just as it is for TLC.......But it's not healthy for that family or for the rest of us, in my view. 

They'd be far from the only people who've had to readjust how they live to take more agency and live among a more diverse group of people and without TeeVee money.....Humans do stuff like that all the time....and in situations every bit as extreme. (way more so, even!) They could do it, too. 

Edited September 25, 2019 by Churchhoney

[kokapetl]

On 9/20/2019 at 5:07 AM, Sew Sumi said:

Spurge does laundry. Jessa lectures.

And that’s why I’ve never felt duggar laundry duty was an odious chore. They don’t beat them on rocks down by the river, they put clothes in one machine then put them in the other. 

[Churchhoney]

3 minutes ago, kokapetl said:

And that’s why I’ve never felt duggar laundry duty was an odious chore. They don’t beat them on rocks down by the river, they put clothes in one machine then put them in the other. 

Exactly. When I was a kid my family was still living in a 19th-century style (well, early 20th) where we washed everything in a wringer washer, rinsed it in multiple tubs and hung it on lines. Then ironed it, of course......We also darned if stuff got frays or holes in it.

Now that was a workout, especially for short people. I had major upper-body strength as a young kid thanks to multiple rinses of sheets etc. in those tubs. 

Ever since I moved into the world of the washer-dryer, I've never thought of laundry as work at all.

It's all a compared-to-what situation, though, of course. Duggarlings haven't used a wringer-washer, I assume. 

[Love2dance]

6 hours ago, kokapetl said:

And that’s why I’ve never felt duggar laundry duty was an odious chore. They don’t beat them on rocks down by the river, they put clothes in one machine then put them in the other. 

True. But remember, they were doing the laundry of MANY, MANY people in the family. It must have been endless! 

[kokapetl]

6 hours ago, Love2dance said:

True. But remember, they were doing the laundry of MANY, MANY people in the family. It must have been endless! 

They’ve got 4 washing machines and 4 dryers, which is about right for 20 people. Plus if they sorted clothes by color or wash temp, they don’t need to wait for each separate load to finish, they can do 4 different loads simultaneously.

[lookeyloo]

3 hours ago, kokapetl said:

They’ve got 4 washing machines and 4 dryers, which is about right for 20 people. Plus if they sorted clothes by color or wash temp, they don’t need to wait for each separate load to finish, they can do 4 different loads simultaneously.

All true but still takes time to do all that - I am doing laundry for my sick son and his husband.  Two adults.  Lots of sheets and towels and clothing because of night sweats.  It does take time.  I am one person and they are two adults.  I am not giving the Duggars any credit at all, because I just find them reprehensible, but, things take time and even with her sister moms there are lots of things that need to be done.  They could have solved those problems with less children, of course, and a relatively mainstream belief system, but, they are what they are.

[Barb23]

Let's not forgot there was a time that the Duggars didn't believe in bed linens &  I'm sure what linens they had weren't laundered frequently.  That would cut back on a good deal of laundry the rest of us deal with. 

[doodlebug]

1 hour ago, Barb23 said:

Let's not forgot there was a time that the Duggars didn't believe in bed linens &  I'm sure what linens they had weren't laundered frequently.  That would cut back on a good deal of laundry the rest of us deal with. 

Yes, we need to remember that they 'do things a little differently' from the rest of us.  We also know that the kids sleep in their clothes, so pajamas aren't in the laundry either.  Then, they've got the communal closet where everyone gets their clothes and where the underwear and socks are just tossed in a heap. Not much time needed to sort and put away their clothes.   From the general appearance of the Duggars, it doesn't seem like a lot of time is spent ironing, either.

So, 'doing laundry' for the Duggars is a bit less  labor intensive than for the rest of us.

I work full time and, a couple times a week. toss a load in the washer before work, the dryer when I get home and fold and put them away when I go to bed.  Takes 10-15 minutes tops.  Considering they've got 4 machines, it shouldn't require more than an hour a day for Duggar laundry, probably less. and, with the girls' 'jurisdictions', I would presume Mechelle hasn't done any in more than twenty years.

Edited September 26, 2019 by doodlebug

[Minivanessa]

17 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

 I would presume Mechelle hasn't done any in more than twenty years.

Agreed. And of course, she had her breakdown in the laundry room. You know, the breakdown where she realized she had more children than she could cope with. So of course God sent her someone to do the laundry and free her up to have a dozen MORE babies after that. Because, apparently God has excused her from laundry duty ever again in this life and maybe in the hereafter. Or something.

[Churchhoney]

2 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Because, apparently God has excused her from laundry duty ever again in this life and maybe in the hereafter. Or something.

I'll laugh if she gets to heaven and finds out God's assigned her to wash all those long white robes for all those angels. !😈

[BetyBee]

28 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

I'll laugh if she gets to heaven and finds out God's assigned her to wash all those long white robes for all those angels. !😈

Ha ha - that would be funny.  Of course with her servant's heart, she'll gladly do it.  Not!

[Fuzzysox]

On 9/24/2019 at 3:26 PM, Tigregirl said:

She looks like Spur in the first picture.  I know they’re the style but I hate those bows!

And Felicity.  

[wilsie]

5 hours ago, Jeeves said:

Agreed. And of course, she had her breakdown in the laundry room. You know, the breakdown where she realized she had more children than she could cope with. So of course God sent her someone to do the laundry and free her up to have a dozen MORE babies after that. Because, apparently God has excused her from laundry duty ever again in this life and maybe in the hereafter. Or something.

This is where I need an angry emoji.  She has spoken about praying to have a heart for children.  It clearly was not an answered prayer.  Then even after the breakdown she continues to spawn.  She can believe that God wants to have more neglected children because some people who were much more Christian in their behavior than her helped with laundry.  I find her and JB despicable.

Edited September 26, 2019 by wilsie

[latetotheparty]

8 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

I'll laugh if she gets to heaven and finds out God's assigned her to wash all those long white robes for all those angels. !😈

The comeuppance I want to see is Jeremy having to look I to the face of Jesus and hAve to defend his social justice stance. 

[EVS]

I want Derick’s entrance to heaven to be blocked by a chorus of transgender angels. 

[GeeGolly]

Most would have taken the laundry room breakdown as God's sign that blessing making is done.

Lets see when and if Jessa receives a message from God, and how she interprets it. Will it be when there's no more rooms for beds? Or when it's no longer appropriate to have Ivy in with the boys?

Erin Bates is ready to put her third girl into a bedroom with the oldest, who is a boy. Their house is similar in size to the mold house.

If When Jessa has another child will they move or add on? Or will they sardine a fourth child into the kids' bedroom too?

[Temperance]

I get the feeling JB will be willing to help them find a bigger home when they decide they need it. 

[doodlebug]

4 hours ago, Temperance said:

I get the feeling JB will be willing to help them find a bigger home when they decide they need it. 

I think you mean when HE decides they need it.  Considering JB thought it was just hunky dory for his family of 16 to live in a two bedroom home and eventually moved into a home where 19 kids shared just two bedrooms, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for JB to go house hunting on their behalf if I were Jessa.

Edited September 28, 2019 by doodlebug

[JoanArc]

23 hours ago, Temperance said:

I get the feeling JB will be willing to help them find a bigger home when they decide they need it. 

He'll give them a house. For $1.

[Fosca]

I'm surprised he's not giving them Grandma Mary's house.  The family is getting to be the right size for it.   Maybe JB is still pissed that Jessa basically forced him to let her marry Ben.

Edited September 29, 2019 by Fosca

[Jeanne222]

9 minutes ago, Fosca said:

I'm surprised he's not giving them Grandma Mary's house.  The family is getting to be the right size for it.   Maybe JB is still pissed that Jessa basically forced him to let her marry Ben.

I thought grandma Mary lives with them?

What's her house look like?

[Natalie68]

3 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

I thought grandma Mary lives with them?

What's her house look like?

She died a few months ago.

[doodlebug]

3 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

I thought grandma Mary lives with them?

What's her house look like?

Earlier this year, Grandma Mary drowned in the pool at the house they are now selling.  The house is the one with the pool that has been seen on the show on occasion.  It is also the house where Jill and Derrick lived briefly before heading to Danger America.

[Jeanne222]

I knew grandma Mary died but I thought she lived in the big dugger  house and did all the laundry!

I remember the palace JB was fixing to sell.  Was that mcmansion Mary's home?

[Lunera]

4 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

I knew grandma Mary died but I thought she lived in the big dugger  house and did all the laundry!

I remember the palace JB was fixing to sell.  Was that mcmansion Mary's home?

She lived in a home near the big house with her daughter. She hasn't lived with the Duggars for a few years. 

[doodlebug]

6 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

I knew grandma Mary died but I thought she lived in the big dugger  house and did all the laundry!

I remember the palace JB was fixing to sell.  Was that mcmansion Mary's home?

At some point, apparently after the Josh scandal broke and the original show was canceled, Grandma Mary moved into the pool house which is right next to the compound.

[Jeanne222]

1 minute ago, Lunera said:

She lived in a home near the big house with her daughter. She hasn't lived with the Duggars for a few years. 

That's beautiful!  Thank you!

[Sew Sumi]

2 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

I knew grandma Mary died but I thought she lived in the big dugger  house and did all the laundry!

I remember the palace JB was fixing to sell.  Was that mcmansion Mary's home?

No, the 10,000 sf mansion is a different place. It can be yours for the reduced price of $1.25 M. The pool house is listed at just under $500k.

[yogi2014L]

If Mary Owns the house, Boob might have to sell it depending on whatever her will states. Boob isn't her only child right?

Additionally, if I was jessa I would PASS HARD on a giant ass house that my grandma had a tragic accident in.