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Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House


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I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss certain social media postings of those in the Duggar realm as they relate to politics- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

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Is Micheal serious? Marriage doesn't make you a man. It doesn't make you more mature.

Dang, Ben's dad is only 39? His mom and dad look 10 years older.

Yes! Finally Jessa proved you can wear a fitted dress with unaltered sleeves and necklines and still modest and tasteful. I think PEOPLE got the shade of the dress wrong though, it's beige not blush.

They look like normal people, not trying to be Flamboyantly Modest, or hodge podged together from Pinterst and the clearance rack of Kmart. It looks more light pink blush on my screen. Companies name colors weirdly, but no matter what, it isn't stark white. They look nice.

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She didn't wear white, only one sister as a bridesmaid, and didn't have her first kiss at the altar.  I bet Daddy Duggar was beyond furious!

 

Good for you Jessa - enjoy your three week deprogramming, err honeymoon!

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In the Midwest where I've oft enjoyed some Frito chili pie, I've not found that it requires day-old chili (though why that would be bad—doesn't chili get better with age?). It's basically just chili with Fritos as a topping (or bottoming?). I'd much rather have that (assuming I still ate four-legged meat) than some generic baked chicken with cream sauce, veggies, and rice. Good for Jessa and Ben for doing it their way, to the extent they did, since they've probably had few chances to do so up until this point. I hope they have a nice life together (with as few Holocaust references as possible).

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From what I can see of her her dress, it looks really pretty. The color is nice! I don't love the color of Ben's bow tie but I think he looks nice, too. 

 

Michael Seewald is THIRTY NINE? I am older than him?! I would have never guessed he was only 39.

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Somewhere I read that Jim Bob owns a condo in the Destin, Florida area.  If that is true, it's probably where Jessa and Ben are headed.  Good for them.  Maybe three weeks will give them a little perspective before Jessa joins Ben in the warehouse.

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A three week honeymoon?

On who's dime?

 

My theory is that they went to Boob's condo in Florida.  And may very well live - for a while at least - on the income they get after cashing in a lot of the presents they received from total strangers who were dumb enough to buy something from those mega-registries. I did like her dress and the overall "rebellious" tone to the wedding. I do agree with another poster who said Boob is probably royally-steamed about all this independence.

Edited by NausetGirl
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I'm torn on the first kiss thing.  If this is Jessa's way of calling her parents out on being stupid famewhores selling their childrens' lives to the highest bidder for ratings, then A+.  I actually have to respect her for that.

 

On the other hand, I wonder if this is her just trying to one-up Jill by proving how much more "modest," Godly and not into fame she is.  If that's the case, it makes me think of the predictions that Jessa will go hardcore fundie and accuse her parents (not incorrectly) of selling out their faith for the Almighty Dollar.

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I love that they decided to kiss in private. In addition to the other theories here I bet she also didn't want to have Daddy Duggar standing up there saying 'you may kiss the bride' like he was yelling 'ready, set, sex!'

I loved what I saw of the dress.

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"I was the same age as Ben when I was going through the same thing," his father, Michael, 39, told PEOPLE of his son's courtship of Jessa. "For me, it helped to mature me. A committed relationship does a lot to mature a young man. It does make them grow up a little bit. I can see that happening to Ben already."

 

While I don't agree with any of this, I can understand the thought process now. Michael was probably a normal teenage boy with normal teenage problems. After he married, he was forced to shoulder a lot of responsibility and he believes that was a good path for him. Now, he has a son who has normal teenage boy issues, and he wants his son to behave more maturely. It makes perfect sense to him that his son should get married in order to help him mature.

 

I think that Jessa's dress is very pretty (as much as I can see). I'm really glad that she didn't end up getting Jill's slightly altered dress. I can easily see JB and J'chelle's THs "Jessa is so happy to wear the same dress as Jill! They hope that this will be a tradition among the girls! "

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From the people article:

He then spoke to the crowd for several minutes about the couple's decision and asked Jessa's parents Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar to show the wedding crowd a kiss.

Glad to see MEchelle and Boob had their moment in the spotlight. tacky, tacky.

I just threw up a little....

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I'm assuming the rehearsal dinner is VERY large, the way Anna/Josh and Jill/Derrick was large. It's not only the wedding party and families, but also providing a meal to all of the volunteers who are helping out that evening and the following day at your wedding. That makes sure the bridal couple spends some time with those making the extra effort, and they really get to feel a full part of the festivities. It could easily be 50-75 people.

My wedding was a quarter the size, but the rehearsal was still about 50 people. We also opted for barbecue in the church fellowship hall because my mother-in-law didn't really have a lot of money and feeding that many people quickly became a real issue.

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So- exciting day- the deed is done!  It actually feels strange not to know every dingo minute detail of this wedding ahead of time, as we did for Jill's.  I feel like I haven't heard much at all about the planning, dresses, etc.  

 

If they saved their kiss for when they're in private, I wholeheartedly, enthusiastically support them!  Who wants their dad to announce their first kiss, and do it in front of hundreds of people!  I'm sure the could have a MUCH more intimate, passionate, and authentic first kiss by waiting just a few more minutes :)  

 

And the sad thing is, millions of people know that they are HAVING SEX THIS VERY MINUTE!!!  Seriously, I looked at the time and knew they were probably done with the wedding and moved on to finally doing what they've been waiting for!  Thanks to their parents' and the show's focus on it!  I am actually pretty happy for them in that regard.  But the whole marriage itself, long term, I feel bad for them because I don't think it's based on a whole lot but infatuation, and for them there is no way out.

 

I am very curious whether they had the same kind of pre-marriage "counseling" as Dill did.

 

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Good for Jessa for doing things HER way. We all know she has a mind of her own. We know Ben really doesn't and just listens to her, and I really don't think the Seewalds would have minded Jessa and Ben's choices because they seem more invested in this couple becoming "one" as Michael and Guinn did rather than in listening to their parents. So I'm glad she went with a beige/cream dress. I actually like his gray shirt too -- you never see that; though I don't love the red tie, but at least it's different and theirs. And I bet not kissing was also her idea -- not because she's more Godly but because she doesn't want to be embarrassed in front of 1000 people as well as the magazines if they missed or if the kiss was sloppy or at an awkward angle or whatever;  this way they could both be pretty relaxed through the ceremony without thinking "uh we have to kiss in 90 seconds, OMG I hope it goes ok."

 

Interesting that he has a 24 yr old best friend who doesn't appear to be a relative. Looking at the best friend's Facebook, he's wearing a t-shirt in one pic with greek letters on it -- like for a frat; I wonder if he is in or went to college? I think Ben needs as many influences as possible that are not Duggar men, so that he can carve out his own life and not remain on JB's payroll forever; having friends with some education may only encourage him to continue with online classes etc. And good for them for the 3 week honeymoon. It's good that they are going to get a lot of time alone even if it's in some random condo or cabin someplace; I feel like it'll be a good time for them to sort out what they really want life-wise before heading back to the compound. Though the negative of a 3 week honeymoon and no birth control is that there's a high probability that they come back pregnant, which is just about the last thing they need having no careers/home of their own etc. 

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The wedding dress looks VERY pretty.......little wonder she chose the second one she tried on....I bet she researched it to the nth degree ahead of time. Good for her.

 

Yay! for them for diffusing that pervy daddy-overseen kiss. It's just gross. But I bet the first kiss was actually many months ago. If so, .... also good for her.

 

Surprised that Jinger was the only sister-bridesmaid. Interesting.

 

Her rehearsal dinner dress was nice too....and..... KNEES!!!!

 

So far...nothing to snark on.  Although she's probably pregnant by now.

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Maybe (in light of the choice not to kiss at the altar) they also won't rush into "having sex". Like, kiss, get to know each other that way, tease a little, frontal hug and all that good stuff, like when regular folks date... then maybe by the end of the honeymoon "have sex". Now THAT actually would be "sweet"! (And guess what, it's none of my, or *anyone* else's, business!)

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I saw the People picture and I think Jessa wore a regular, non-altered dress. In blush! It was very pretty.

You go girl! I never liked Jessa much but finding out their first kiss was done in private & her dress looks like it has a scoop neckline with no modesty alterations (I hope) she has become one of my favorites.

On the Duggar Family Blog (sorry, can't link) it said they planned to do the kiss privately with guidance from the pastor, so it wasn't a spur of the moment decision. It did say the pastor asked Boob & MEchelle to demonstrate a Duggar kiss & they obliged.

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Is Micheal serious? Marriage doesn't make you a man. It doesn't make you more mature.

 

Marrying so you'll "mature" is like having a baby so you'll always have someone to love you. 

 

You should only get married if you're mature in the first place. Same goes for having a baby. 

 

ETA: On that note, I hope they enjoyed their day and I sincerely wish them all the best. 

Edited by PinkSprinkles
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I think that is cool they are doing their kiss privately. I don't even mind so much if it's just to be different! What I didn't get was if they were kissing before the ceremony or after. And if it was after what did they do instead of kiss when they were pronouced husband and wife? And what kind of guidance do you think the pastor was giving? You go right and you go left?

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Liking her dress so far.  Love that they didn't kiss if front of everyone. 2 reasons for that....they didn't want everyone to see they knew what they were doing already; they didn't want everyone to see the awkwardness.    Have to say in their picture, Jessa's smile looks kind of forced - disappointment in kiss, or tired of smiling for camera?

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Liking her dress so far.  Love that they didn't kiss if front of everyone. 2 reasons for that....they didn't want everyone to see they knew what they were doing already; they didn't want everyone to see the awkwardness.    Have to say in their picture, Jessa's smile looks kind of forced - disappointment in kiss, or tired of smiling for camera?

Can't speak for Jessa, but my brother and his wife are 23 and got married in August. She models and is used to smiling for extended periods. But my brother? You can tell which pictures were taken at the end of the cocktail hour, because the smile looks exhausted and fake. He adores her, but was ready for a drink at that point.

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I think that is cool they are doing their kiss privately. I don't even mind so much if it's just to be different! What I didn't get was if they were kissing before the ceremony or after. And if it was after what did they do instead of kiss when they were pronouced husband and wife? And what kind of guidance do you think the pastor was giving? You go right and you go left?

You don't have to do anything. Instead of the minister saying "Ben you may now kiss your bride," he just skips to "it's my pleasure to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Benjamin Seewald" and the couple just turns and holds hands and gets ready to walk out or they hug and then get ready to walk. I have seen this done before and it really isn't that big of a deal. I'm just hoping that in typical Duggar fashion they didn't focus on the lack of a kiss and announce "they are saving their first kiss for marriage and it will take place right after this ceremony."  

 

i get what Mike Seewald is saying that getting married makes you grow up and become a man because you can't just focus on yourself, you have to focus on a wife and family, but he really shouldn't be announcing this as the reason his son got married. It isn't Jessa's job to finish raising your son. If he needed to become a man and his parents couldn't provide him that skillset -- he should've joined the Marines, they've been turning 18 yr olds into men for centuries. 

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Congrats to Jessa and Ben. I like Jessa's dress; the color is beautiful. Given the way they look at each other, I have a feeling those two had their "first" kiss a long time ago. The reason I say this is because with Ben living on their property, it's hard to believe that they've never ever been alone for a few minutes.

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I'm confused as to why a 'demonstration' kiss would be necessary. If the bride and groom don't kiss at the altar just finish the service and move on.

Perhaps to titillate or defraud the wedding guests. The very softest of soft core, or an e/i (educational/informational) message.

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Jessa's dress looks like this one:

http://www.allurebridals.com/products/M524

From the people article:

He then spoke to the crowd for several minutes about the couple's decision and asked Jessa's parents Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar to show the wedding crowd a kiss.

Glad to see MEchelle and Boob had their moment in the spotlight. tacky, tacky.

 

The dress shown at this link is timeless and beautiful. If this is the same one Jessa wore, kudos to her for showing that maybe Taste skips a generation. Grandma Duggar's good taste DOES live on in at least one of her grandchildren. Very pretty dress and refreshingly, not strapless. THAT trend needs to end - very soon. Well-done Jessa!

Edited by NausetGirl
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Can't snark on the dress because it was really pretty!

 

Wishing her happiness. Sounds like not having their first kiss was a stick it to you moment for her parents that now she can finally have some much needed freedom to be her own person!

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I'm confused as to why a 'demonstration' kiss would be necessary. If the bride and groom don't kiss at the altar just finish the service and move on.

 

Totally agree. My parents were married in the 50s in a Catholic ceremony and I can remember my Mom specifically telling me that "you may now kiss the bride..." was very definitely NOT a part of a Catholic wedding. Mom said 'Of course we did kiss many times that day, but not once in the church..."

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Kudos to them on not kissing, avoiding JB at the altar with his leer. Horrible that the minister had to do a M & JB kiss though- ugh!

Love the dress, it's beautiful!

Since Frito pie discussion won't die- my IL's told us the week before we were married that they were not paying for 1/3 of the wedding like they previously had agreed to. So Mr Jumbo & I had to scramble to pay for a rehearsal dinner, so we took the bridal party out for pizza & beer. We had $12 between us when we walked down the aisle (& the IL's went to Hawaii!).

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Jessa's dress looks like this one:

http://www.allurebridals.com/products/M524

From the people article:

He then spoke to the crowd for several minutes about the couple's decision and asked Jessa's parents Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar to show the wedding crowd a kiss.

Glad to see MEchelle and Boob had their moment in the spotlight. tacky, tacky.

 

$245 http://www.bridalgown4love.com/allure-bridal-gown-style-m524-p-1005.html

 

Jessa looks pretty, I just wished she styled her hair better.

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Kudos to them on not kissing, avoiding JB at the altar with his leer. Horrible that the minister had to do a M & JB kiss though- ugh!

Love the dress, it's beautiful!

Since Frito pie discussion won't die- my IL's told us the week before we were married that they were not paying for 1/3 of the wedding like they previously had agreed to. So Mr Jumbo & I had to scramble to pay for a rehearsal dinner, so we took the bridal party out for pizza & beer. We had $12 between us when we walked down the aisle (& the IL's went to Hawaii!).

 

Ooh.... not cool, in-laws.  Did they really take themselves to Hawaii with "your" wedding $$? Like, wow...

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I read in more than one place that Jinger was the only Duggar bridesmaid with Jordyn as flower-girl.  I also read that her bridesmaids include Ben's sisters (all of them who were older). I'm interested to know what's real. I can see Jill being too pregnant to be a bridesmaid in their culture. We're not fundie, but my family expects sisters to be bridesmaids. I'm sure they'd be shocked if I was Jessa and, Jana and Joy weren't included. 

I love Jessa's wedding dress. So much prettier than Jill's. That back is even more lovely.

The bowtie and shirt are "in". They look very up-to-date compared to Jill and Derrick.

I wish them well.

Edited by Temperance
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I thought her dress very lovely, and in the world she grew up in, very daring. (Hardcore Fundy covers the collar bone) and the blush was practically admitting they had already kissed! ;)

Having JB and Michelle kiss - yuck. Never pass up the chance to be tacky when you could have been classy.

I'll be honest, and maybe here my Fundy roots are showing, but sometimes marriage does really make a man (or woman) out of you. This isn't to say the military isn't a good choice, but not everyone is meant for the military, just as not everyone is meant to marry young. There is no doubt in anyone who knows my husband and me that we were far more powerful and mature as a couple than we were as individuals. We both married at twenty. And we have, for lack of a better description, raised each other into adulthood. We've shared that, and sometimes it was miserable, but sometimes it was glorious. And we got exactly the adulthood that we wanted, and we got it together.

Hopefully Ben and Jessa get to have that too. That's the biggest advantage of marrying young.

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It's funny that Jill married in the summer and had a dress, IMO, that was too heavy for her and seemed better suited for a cooler weather wedding. Jessa's wedding gown is beautiful, but wouldn't that have been a little cold for a November wedding up there? She has softer, lighter fabric with movement which would have looked and felt great back in June up there. Just my observation. Jessa's dress is really pretty, good for her.

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Their excuse for backing out was that they did not have enough money. When we got back from our honeymoon (we had prepaid for it ourselves), they left for Hawaii. I think the real reason was that Mr Jumbo was previously married & they felt they had already given him a gift back then. *lovely* people...

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I thought her dress very lovely, and in the world she grew up in, very daring. (Hardcore Fundy covers the collar bone) and the blush was practically admitting they had already kissed! ;)

Having JB and Michelle kiss - yuck. Never pass up the chance to be tacky when you could have been classy.

I'll be honest, and maybe here my Fundy roots are showing, but sometimes marriage does really make a man (or woman) out of you. This isn't to say the military isn't a good choice, but not everyone is meant for the military, just as not everyone is meant to marry young. There is no doubt in anyone who knows my husband and me that we were far more powerful and mature as a couple than we were as individuals. We both married at twenty. And we have, for lack of a better description, raised each other into adulthood. We've shared that, and sometimes it was miserable, but sometimes it was glorious. And we got exactly the adulthood that we wanted, and we got it together.

Hopefully Ben and Jessa get to have that too. That's the biggest advantage of marrying young.

Oh I get what Mike Seewald is saying -- marriage will make a man out of Ben because he will have to provide, esp when there's a kid on the way in 9 months. Plus they will have to rely on each other to make decisions (hopefully -- barring too much duggar interference) and while those decisions may be wrong at times, they will both grow up through those good and bad decisions and learn how to support each other. I just think it's weird to say it, esp to People magazine in this day in age. The average reader of People will think "if he's not a man yet, why is he getting married" or "is it his wife's job to raise him, why didn't you finish raising him before you encouraged him to take a wife." I think their views of the world work for them, it's just that when you put it out into mainstream media, you will endure a certain amount of criticism from a population that has very different societal views.

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Starcasm has a photo of the wedding program, which includes listing of who filed what wedding roles.

http://starcasm.net/archives/294795

"Group side hug" with both sets of parents- that sounds a little awkward.

And disappointed that in the middle of the ceremony they had to go off & do their private kiss. Still bringing attention to the fact that it's their first kiss. WE GET IT!

Edited by Mrsjumbo
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