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Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House


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I hope she does see a dermatologist because there are many effective treatments out there now.

 

She may see a dermatologist.  Sometimes you just can't control it, even with meds, creams, etc.  I do feel for her on this one, especially being on tv.

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Someone asked about Bin being sixteen?

Ben's publicly published birth date is May 19, 1995. Jessa was born in November of 1992, I believe. She's a full 2.5 years older than he is. Their courtship started on Sept. 9, 2013, so on that date, Bin was 18 years, 3 months. However, we were told that Jessa and Ben had been getting to know each other through texts and phone calls for "about a year". So, you can reasonably conclude that Ben was 17 when they started texting with a purpose. JIM Bob goes further back stating that Ben had approached him about six months before the "texting with a purpose" started. That puts Ben in the neighborhood of 16 Going on 17.

I think this was mentioned a while back that Joy's birthday is 10/22/97 making her almost 17 & 2.5 years younger than Ben & that Ben should have waited to court her. (Hey Michelle got married at 17-ha ha) I don't think they would be a match either as I could see Joy putting Ben in his place shown by when she was spouting orders while driving him around compound. You go Joy. Hopefully she will be one of the ones to break away to live normally. It was mentioned somewhere that poster thought Joy wasn't being allowed to see Amy as much because of Amy's normal life influence. Oh I hope not!
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I feel really bad for her.  I actually had something similar going on- even in my 30's and 40's and then other symptoms emerged and I eliminated dairy products and it has not happened since.  I think at times, it can be from certain makeup products but honestly, more times than not, it starts from diet.  

Sometimes it's just genetic too. I'm 32 and still dealing with acne. I've tried pretty much everything you can without a prescription. Proactiv - junk. Neutrogena - junk. Clearasil - junk....the list goes on. Even birth control pills did little to stop it. I eat well and rarely wear makeup so I honestly have no idea why I struggle with it so much as an adult. And that's what bugs me most...in my teens and twenties I had perfect skin! I've spoken to my primary doc about it and he (at the time) said he didn't think my skin looked bad enough to warrant a dermatology referral. To be honest, it's definitely a sore spot to my ego, because I do think it's the first thing people notice about my appearance, instead of my actual face.

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She may see a dermatologist.  Sometimes you just can't control it, even with meds, creams, etc.  I do feel for her on this one, especially being on tv.

Something tells me Jessa has not seen a dermatologist. I'm just not convinced dermatology would be viewed as a priority for this family and paying for a dermatologist out of pocket is very expensive, particularly if the doctor decides to prescribe ointment or oral medications. I can't recall if this family has insurance or not, but yeah.

 

My friend has painful cystic acne and she's seen holistic doctors as well as dermatologists who charge an arm and a leg for appointments that take months to get. She's tried birth control, Accutane, Proactiv, natural masks (lemon, honey, avocado, etc.), as well as medications that she can only find overseas because they are not legal here. Hell, she even went to Japan once for a 'miracle' treatment that did nothing, and she was out thousands of dollars. Nothing has worked decently and it's very frustrating for her. It's sad. Jessa's acne doesn't look as severe as my friend's though.

Edited by trimthatfat
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Dear Ben,

Run, run as fast as you can.  They don't like you.  They seem to take great pleasure in humiliating you on national television.  You are only 19 and just  incase you haven't noticed, you are very handsome. You will meet other girls.  Jessa isn't worth it.  They are thousands of other pretty girls in Arkansas. 

Sincerely,

Someone who cares

 

I don't care for Ben, but yes, he could easily find someone else with a family that, gasp, wouldn't expect him to sleep in questionable guest quarters and work hard labor.

 

Ben talks about wanting a traditional wife and how he loves seeing Jessa in a kitchen. She can't even properly heat up bread rolls, so I hope Ben isn't hoping for a three course dinner every night. Frozen lasagna (bleh!) will only get Jessa so far.

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When I was a teen many moons ago, my aunt suggested I try zinc for my acne. It did work very well. As with anything, I'd heck with a doctor for dosage (could already be getting it in a multi vitamin, don't want to over do it).

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Unless Boob is getting the treatments comped, I'll bet my house that Jessa isn't seeing a dermatologist. Hell, I don't even think those kids went to the dentist/eye doctor/pediatrician regularly until the TLC gravy train pulled into Springdale.

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What makes the whole deal worse? The fact that, if you follow the timeline as described by Jim Bob, Bin was 16 when he first approached the family with the prospect of courting. If Bin had been female, would any of these people been ok with the prospect?

 

hehe... I know this isn't how you meant it but I got a chuckle out of the thought of a female coming forward to court any of the daughters. Now THAT would have been a dramatic story line!  This isn't a comment on anyone's sexual orientation, but just the thought of the look on Jim Bob's face if a female came forward to court his daughter totally cracked me up.

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My friend has painful cystic acne and she's seen holistic doctors as well as dermatologists who charge an arm and a leg for appointments that take months to get. She's tried birth control, Accutane, Proactiv, natural masks (lemon, honey, avocado, etc.), as well as medications that she can only find overseas because they are not legal here. Hell, she even went to Japan once for a 'miracle' treatment that did nothing, and she was out thousands of dollars. Nothing has worked decently and it's very frustrating for her. It's sad. Jessa's acne doesn't look as severe as my friend's though.

Just a suggestion- I've studied holistic medicine for a few years and read many stories of people having wonderful results from cutting out dairy from their diet.  Doctors don't typically suggest it, but your friend might want to give it a try.  Even if a person can tolerate dairy at some point in their life, later if may effect them differently.  

 

Typically, it is not a topical thing that lemon and honey will help.  It's something else your body is reacting to- something you are ingesting.  There are so many things pumped into dairy products these days - unless of course you are eating raw organic dairy.  I just don't do any of it. I don't completely cut out a little cheese every now and then, but I can tell you that if I have more than a little, I wake up with a blemish.  I was so happy to have figured out what was causing it. 

 

Hoping to help someone out there!  Have her research it.  

Edited by truthtalk2014
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Sometimes it's just genetic too. I'm 32 and still dealing with acne. I've tried pretty much everything you can without a prescription. Proactiv - junk. Neutrogena - junk. Clearasil - junk....the list goes on. Even birth control pills did little to stop it. I eat well and rarely wear makeup so I honestly have no idea why I struggle with it so much as an adult. And that's what bugs me most...in my teens and twenties I had perfect skin! I've spoken to my primary doc about it and he (at the time) said he didn't think my skin looked bad enough to warrant a dermatology referral. To be honest, it's definitely a sore spot to my ego, because I do think it's the first thing people notice about my appearance, instead of my actual face.

I suffer from adult acne as well. My dermatologist mentioned that adult acne in women can be a sign of infertility and/or a hormonal imbalance. I had to have a test done to see if my body was producing an excess amount of testosterone. It was not, however, I still do not know what has caused my adult acne.

I wash my pillow cases because oil from your hair and sweat gets onto your pillows as you sleep. I have a feeling at Casa Duggar that hygiene is not a top priority. Jessa probably wears a lot of hair product and greasy makeup that probably gets onto her pillow case. Her face is probably coming into contact with all of her greasy hair product and makeup as she sleeps . I bet if she used a Clairsonic, Pro-Activ, washed her sheets, and refrained from using greasy hair products ; her face would probably clear up.

Edited by Joe Jitsu913
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hehe... I know this isn't how you meant it but I got a chuckle out of the thought of a female coming forward to court any of the daughters. Now THAT would have been a dramatic story line!  This isn't a comment on anyone's sexual orientation, but just the thought of the look on Jim Bob's face if a female came forward to court his daughter totally cracked me up.

That has all the makings for a VSE. Please follow me to the prayer closet...
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Just a suggestion- I've studied holistic medicine for a few years and read many stories of people having wonderful results from cutting out dairy from their diet.  Doctors don't typically suggest it, but your friend might want to give it a try.  Even if a person can tolerate dairy at some point in their life, later if may effect them differently.  

 

Typically, it is not a topical thing that lemon and honey will help.  It's something else your body is reacting to- something you are ingesting.  There are so many things pumped into dairy products these days - unless of course you are eating raw organic dairy.  I just don't do any of it. I don't completely cut out a little cheese every now and then, but I can tell you that if I have more than a little, I wake up with a blemish.  I was so happy to have figured out what was causing it. 

 

Hoping to help someone out there!  Have her research it.  

 

You name it, my friend has tried it. It's actually exhausts me thinking about it! She's actually a vegan now and does not consume any dairy. Hasn't for about 10 years, I think. Thank you for the suggestion though!

Edited by trimthatfat
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I suffer from adult acne as well. My dermatologist mentioned that adult acne in women can be a sign of infertility and/or a hormonal imbalance. I had to have a test done to see if my body was producing an excess amount of testosterone. It was not, however, I still do not know what has caused my adult acne.

 

I had my hormone levels tested earlier this summer and everything came back fine. I wash my pillow cases once a week, I don't use greasy hair products.. I also have a Clarisonic brush that I use a few times per week with Murad's acne wash. When I do wear makeup I use Bare Minerals and make sure to wash it off before bed. I have done everything reasonable to deal with it (and spent sooo much $$ on products!) and it just does not go away. It's not the worst case of acne I have ever seen, but at the same time at 32 I don't feel I should be having to deal with more than the occasional blemish, not full blown acne. I guess I'm gonna have to push my doc for a dermatology referral cos I am sick of this crap.

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I think poor Jessa's acne is worse than the other girls, although several of her brothers have it as well. My two boys suffered with it, but luckily both also responded to Accutane...a 5 month course of action cured it for my kids, who were 14 and 18 at the time. You need regular blood tests to meaure cholesterol, but now, 3 years later, both of them have normal cholesterol, no breakouts, and thankfully, no scarring..that was a real possibility with my younger son.

 

Of course, one problem is that while on Accutane, females are required to be on the birth control pill because Accutane will cause birth defects to the fetus. And in Duggarland, we all know the birth control pill is against their religion. 

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I'd take Accutane in a heartbeat, if it would permanently banish the acne. I've already got the birth control portion covered....and I'm in no market for a baby anytime soon anyway. Can a primary doc prescribe that or is it dermatologists only?

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I noticed that Jill also has acne especially around her mouth and chin. She doesn't wear as much makeup or seem to get the same extreme close-ups Jessa gets. I'm sympathetic. At my age it pisses me off when I still get the occasional pimple in a wrinkle. Who deserves THAT?

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Accutane is still on the market -- but the number of tests you need to take before, during and after the treatment is astounding.  Still, the teenagers I know who have used it in the past few months have really benefited from it.

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Sometimes it's just genetic too. I'm 32 and still dealing with acne. I've tried pretty much everything you can without a prescription. Proactiv - junk. Neutrogena - junk. Clearasil - junk....the list goes on. Even birth control pills did little to stop it. I eat well and rarely wear makeup so I honestly have no idea why I struggle with it so much as an adult. And that's what bugs me most...in my teens and twenties I had perfect skin! I've spoken to my primary doc about it and he (at the time) said he didn't think my skin looked bad enough to warrant a dermatology referral. To be honest, it's definitely a sore spot to my ego, because I do think it's the first thing people notice about my appearance, instead of my actual face.

 

Just a quick tip for you ladies out there who're still dealing with acne into your adult years.  That sucks.  I did too but have found a lot of help in the last year since I began using Dr Bronner's tea oil soap.  An excellent cleanser which has cut WAY back on breakouts and even the rosacea I developed in my late 30s.  You need a little patience because you may breakout a little more than normal when you first start using it, but that's because it's bringing all the yuck to the surface of your skin.  I highly recommend this product and am not in any way affiliated with the company, other than being a customer.  Tea tree is best for skin issues since tea tree oil has antibacterial properties.  Their soap is fair trade and organic too - and a little bit goes a LONG way.  Sorry for the commercial but it is an excellent product.  Good luck!

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Fliptopbox, from what I remember, a dermatologist has to precribe it, due to the need to be certified to prescribe Accutane. The worst side effects for my kids were very dry lips and skin...both were on during the fall/winter. There's a whole list of warnings about this drug, but then again, it's a mile long for the birth control pill, too(which I used for probably close to 20 years with no problems). I saw how my kids, especially my youngest, gained a lot more self confidence as their skin cleared up..they were both very self conscious ot their acne, and we tried literally everything for several years before, including a prescription antibiotic drug with no luck. I'm sure Jessa would gain a lot of self confidence too if she were allowed to try it...but I'm certain due to the birth control issue, it would not be allowed. In case of a pregnancy, termination is recommended, it was in the literature given to us by the doctor. Is Josiah the one who also has a very bad case of acne? I can't remember if Joseph does, haven't seen him on the show in a long time.

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I have an IUD so the chances of me getting pregnant are almost nonexistant. I will probably give my doc a call soon, set up a non-urgent visit. The doc who wouldn't send me to a dermatologist retired so maybe my new primary (who's a woman) will be more sympathetic.

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I agree that speculating about a health issue can come off as a little low. BUT, I truly didn't read the comment as speculative as much as "poor girl". The only reality is that she obviously has an acne issue and slaughtering makeup on acne is rarely the best idea. It's unfortunate that she is so often shot in a close up and that it would appear she's never been to a dermatologist. In some ways, I think it's interesting since I know some of the remedies for acne include birth control pills and how that would NEVER be allowed. I feel bad for Jessa because, aside from being difficult to deal with emotionally, that sort of acne is often painful. :(

If I had people saying that they can't even stand to look at my face, I would feel the need to slather on makeup too. Especially if I were Jessa's age

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I had some bad acne as an adult, took Accutane twice - it helped, but wasn't perfect. ( which I always have to acknowledge when I donate blood) I remember asking my mom when her acne cleared up and she said "When I had you!" so I thought Ok 30... no she was right, having my son at 38 is what seems to have cleared it up. Those hormones just really needed to do the full flush. Anyhow , perhaps childbirth will clear up Jessa's skin. We all know that's expected of her.

I continue to think that the whole point of Ben moving in and "working" for Jim Bob was just to get him featured on the show more so TLC has to pay him. His "job" is reality tv supporting player. Hopefully he is able to save up.

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Bin may be in for a surprise when he sees Jessa without makeup for the first time. She mentioned it being a little stressful with him living there, because she felt more pressure to "look good" and put on makeup every day. Bin said he thought she woke up looking that way!

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Well success for me. Maybe. I managed to snag an appointment earlier this afternoon and my new (lady) doc was much more sympathetic to my concerns. So I'm going to give Retin-A a try....as soon as my insurance gets all their prior authorization junk out of the way. Whether it helps or doesn't, it's a place to start! Goodbye crappy OTC useless junk.

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I'll just point out that if Jessa were marrying someone with a job -- like Derick -- she would get health insurance and be able to go to the dermatologist.

 

re: What does Jessa bring to the table? I think that's a good point. The Duggar/Gothard lifestyle is based on a 19th century model where the husband is the bread winner, and the wife maintains the household. Except that Jessa has been very clear that she has no housekeeping skills, and she doesn't appear to be any more maternal than her mother. So, other than the obvious, she brings nothing more to this relationship than Bin does.

What does Jessa bring to the table? The only thing a hormonal 18 year old, fundie or not, is thinking about = sex. I personally know scads of girls like Jessa who went to college for a M.R.S degree, and were dead set on being overtly chaste, but with the entire goal of their life to snag the first guy who walked past them with a Bible. It still shocks me that their whole being revolved around becoming a Christian Stay at Home Wife and Mother, but non of them had any inkling to learn to cook, clean, change diaper, budget, earn an income, etc. Know what? The fundie guys did not give a rat's arse if the women had any domestic skills or if they knew the Bible. They just wanted cute girls who were dangling a carrot and promising a lot of sex to their new lords and masters after marriage. They were all in for a major awakening as soon as the honeymoon was over, the bills start piling up, and nobody has job skills or an education.

 

I actually commend Michelle for having the sense to teach her daughters valuable life skills like stretching dollars, cutting hair, cooking, etc., and to Anna for being so interested in child development and nutrition (even if her dumbass husband ignores it).

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Bin said he thought she woke up looking that way!

Guys can be staggeringly ignorant that way. I always roll my eyes when men say that they prefer "natural" girls with no makeup. Bullshit, they do not. What they prefer are girls with natural-looking makeup. You show them pictures of girls with no makeup on and the reaction is almost always one of astonishment. 

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Guys can be staggeringly ignorant that way. I always roll my eyes when men say that they prefer "natural" girls with no makeup. Bullshit, they do not. What they prefer are girls with natural-looking makeup. You show them pictures of girls with no makeup on and the reaction is almost always one of astonishment. 

Very true, like a naive one who once told me he liked women who were natural....like Pamela Anderson.....until I explained bleach, extensions, implants, tanning beds, brow pencils, concealer, foundation, tons of lip gloss, false lashes, highlighter, mascara, etc.

 

Jessa is very pretty, young and hasn't had surgery/botox/fillers, but she looks like she spends hours curling hair and slathering on makeup.

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Yeah I once heard a guy use Kim Kardashian to describe how he likes the natural look. I almost spit my drink out from laughing at him. How silly! No woman on the face of this earth wakes up looking that good. Even Kim Kardashian herself!

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So guys are taking "I woke up like this" seriously? I guess I need to stop saying that. ;) I definitely did not wake up like this, I woke up with my hair sticking out at odd angles, drool on my cheek, and hereditary dark circles under my eyes (they're there all the time no matter how much sleep I get, I just cover them with concealer and pretend they don't exist).

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Yeah I once heard a guy use Kim Kardashian to describe how he likes the natural look. I almost spit my drink out from laughing at him. How silly! No woman on the face of this earth wakes up looking that good. Even Kim Kardashian herself!

I guess he hasn't seen Kim Kardashian au naturale ;). 

 

I'm thinking some of the kids and maybe Jessa pick on their pimples.  I hope they don't but, sometimes the urge to pick them is there.  I'm only saying because any pustule and bacteria that was contained in that pimple may spill into other pores and cause more pimples.  I learned this many many years ago when my cosmetology class had a short session in skin care.

Edited by abseedee
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So Jessa posted this to her Instagram earlier today:

 

http://instagram.com/p/tGoR3PDfqJ/?modal=true

 

Interesting for a couple of reasons: 1. Jinger posted a selfie at Goodwill yesterday, also touting #buyusedandsavethedifference. They're obviously circling the wagons around Jill and the criticism she's received for the baby registry. 2. The irony is inescapable when she has two bridal registries that total around 26 grand in freebies from fans.

 

So Jessa, post that old pic (notice there's no engagement ring), and try to make the leghumpers believe that you are frugal.

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It could be an old pic but sometimes the front facing cameras don't reverse the image for posting purposes (this happened to me this past Sunday, incidentally) and so that would be her right hand if that's the case. I think they all use iPhones and obviously that's Instagram, neither of which I have ever used, so take that as you like.

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So Jessa posted this to her Instagram earlier today:

 

http://instagram.com/p/tGoR3PDfqJ/?modal=true

 

Interesting for a couple of reasons: 1. Jinger posted a selfie at Goodwill yesterday, also touting #buyusedandsavethedifference. They're obviously circling the wagons around Jill and the criticism she's received for the baby registry. 2. The irony is inescapable when she has two bridal registries that total around 26 grand in freebies from fans.

 

So Jessa, post that old pic (notice there's no engagement ring), and try to make the leghumpers believe that you are frugal.

3. Jessa brags that she's spoiled because they live in a 15mi radius of 5 Goodwills? 

I think Bin is just clueless about how much makeup it takes jessa to look like she does. Will she get up before Bin every morning and apply her makeup, ala Tammy Fay Baker? 

Well those biscuits and gravy aren't going to get up and cook themselves, now, are they?

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It could be an old pic but sometimes the front facing cameras don't reverse the image for posting purposes (this happened to me this past Sunday, incidentally) and so that would be her right hand if that's the case. I think they all use iPhones and obviously that's Instagram, neither of which I have ever used, so take that as you like.

Goodwill is spelled correctly; wouldn't Goodwill be backwards in the picture if that were her right hand?

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Jumping back a few posts, some info.

 

(Before I start, a generic "not a doctor" disclaimer. I'm a pharm tech.)

 

Accutane is still on the market -- but the number of tests you need to take before, during and after the treatment is astounding.  Still, the teenagers I know who have used it in the past few months have really benefited from it.

 

    Fliptopbox, from what I remember, a dermatologist has to precribe it, due to the need to be certified to prescribe Accutane. The worst side effects for my kids were very dry lips and skin...both were on during the fall/winter. There's a whole list of warnings about this drug, but then again, it's a mile long for the birth control pill, too(which I used for probably close to 20 years with no problems). I saw how my kids, especially my youngest, gained a lot more self confidence as their skin cleared up..they were both very self conscious ot their acne, and we tried literally everything for several years before, including a prescription antibiotic drug with no luck. I'm sure Jessa would gain a lot of self confidence too if she were allowed to try it...but I'm certain due to the birth control issue, it would not be allowed. In case of a pregnancy, termination is recommended, it was in the literature given to us by the doctor. Is Josiah the one who also has a very bad case of acne? I can't remember if Joseph does, haven't seen him on the show in a long time.

 

 

Accutane is still on the market, in a couple of different forms and strengths. Claravis and Amnesteem are the two my pharmacy dispenses, but I'm pretty sure there's a 3rd brand. It comes in a 20mg, a 30mg, and a 40mg form.

 

The prescriber has to be certified and everyone that prescribes/uses/dispenses it has to be registered in a program called iPledge. That's the program that matches up all the parts to make sure that you can take it. It's simpler for guys - the prescriber does their part, the patient does theirs, and the pharmacy does theirs and the guy has a 30 day window to pick up the prescription. The process is harder for girls - the window to be able to pick it up is only 7 days, and that's after taking a pregnancy test (to prove a non-pregnant state) and verifying at least 2 forms of approved birth control. And while the promise of abstinence-only is good enough for the FDA, most prescribers (around me) insist on a medical form of contraception just in case, so Jessa would most likely have to also be taking a hormonal birth control as well, if she wanted to try anything with isotretinoin, even if she wasn't having sex, though she might be able to find a doctor where they'll accept abstinence-only.

 

It's a pain if it's a strength/brand we have to order (usually we can get it next day, but extenuating circumstances like holiday after a weekend have once or twice messed that up) or if the patient hasn't already done their part of iPledge (you would be amazed at how many teens forget they have a part in their medication. I personally think that the patient should do their part in the office before they leave their appointment, but only one office that uses our pharmacy has their patients do that). At least once have we had had a girl missed her pickup window and it's a giant headache to have to redo because the girl has to go back to office for another pregnancy test (I'm pretty sure it has to be a blood test -- peeing on a stick at home doesn't cut it) and redo all the iPledge stuff. You can read the whole FDA brochure here.

 

There are warnings literally all over the box it comes in warning of adverse effects to pregnancy, and yes, if you become pregnant while taking it, termination is recommended. Also for that reason it's doubtful that Jessa would give the medication a shot. Personally I think it's scary stuff, but I never had acne bad enough to feel like something like that would be worth it.

 

Something tells me that while the medication would help, there's no way it would ever get any Duggar approval, even for the boys. Too time consuming, too many potential problems with babies, and too many rules to stick to regarding birth control. Besides, it's pretty expensive (there's no unbranded generic, so no saving the difference), so unless they have great health insurance they're looking at $150-$200 a month, depending on the brand/strength/quantity.

Edited by McManda
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Guys can be staggeringly ignorant that way. I always roll my eyes when men say that they prefer "natural" girls with no makeup. Bullshit, they do not. What they prefer are girls with natural-looking makeup. You show them pictures of girls with no makeup on and the reaction is almost always one of astonishment.

I have been with my husband for 21 years (married for 12) and I can say with confidence that there are men who actually do prefer no makeup. I used to wear some but I found he looked at me funny when I did and since I work in the pharma industry where I cannot go into a manufacturing facility with makeup or nail polish on, I am my own natural self now, 100% of the time. And so is he, so I don't see that he would actually have an argument, anyway. 

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Goodwill is spelled correctly; wouldn't Goodwill be backwards in the picture if that were her right hand?

 

Ah, good call. Yeah, in that case, either it is old or for some reason she had her ring off (difficult to imagine, but not impossible).

 

I've given up trying to keep any sort of timeline with these people as the show is obviously completely whacked and I wouldn't even trust their media appearances to be real life. But then also, I only really care about the high points of their lives, and TLC, People, and their instagrams are clearly trying to give us much more.

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I watched the season 12 finale yesterday as a rerun, which is the first time we actually meet Ben, Jim Bob and Michelle say at the very end of the episode that Jessa is in a courtship, it's almost like it's an afterthought to the episode. Anyway, during the flea market sale in which they raise $18,000 for the Arkansas children's hospital, Jessa is shown managing the money that's being earned from sales and also was shown helping to organzie the sale. It seems like she certainly has some business sense, and would actually be able to assist Ben if he were to go back to running his own windshield repair business. A shame she wasn't allowed to get an education outside of College Plus. She did seem very sure of herself then, but I think she has been portrayed to look flaky ever since she got involved with Ben. And of course we all see how he's being made to look very foolish by Jim Bob. I don't like what the show has done to the two of them. I do agree with whoever posted upthread that once Ben expressed interest in Jessa and passed Jim Bob's test, she was determined to marry him and get out of the house no matter what. It may be that Jim Bob giving Ben a job as a handyman is his way of keeping the two of them under his thumb. If so, that stinks for everyone involved. 

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Yes but whether JB likes it or not, Ben will be the "headship" once they are married and if he wanted to leave with Jessa, he could regardless of any handyman job or warehouse room being promised by JB. Honestly it would be best if they did leave and lived however Ben could afford. Now that would mean princess Jessa maybe contributing financially or agreeing to live in a studio apartment or whatever Ben could get in Hot Springs as he works odd jobs, maybe learns a trade/finishes college, so that they can have a more "settled" life. Jessa isn't dumb and could contribute even by working retail; in these small Arkansas towns, I bet Mike Seewald knows a business owner or two and could say "my daughter in law is moving to the area and they're just getting started, any chance you could hire her a few hrs a week?" It wouldn't be the most comfortable life for a while, but I feel like it would bond Ben and Jessa together, make them mature, and get them out of either family's control.

 

Given their odd courtship rituals though, it's not like they can even come up with such a plan while still engaged because they always have to have a Duggar with them. They honestly should take the youngest possible kids on dates with them and keep them distracted with soda or video games or whatever, so they can talk without some kid hearing and reporting back "Ben and Jessa are going to move away the second after the wedding bc they don't want to work for Dad."

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