Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage

[brickthru the tv]

Ok here is my rant for all tv and radio ads:

 

1st of all - the two slogans I HATE most in this and other universes are;;;;;"moving forward" (the exxon valdez moved forward,  a train wreck moves forward, the titantic moved forward,  any regiment in the civil war moved forward; the spaces shuttle discovery moved forward (such inane logic and everyone on that side of the camera has latched onto this moronic idiocy)

 

"call now" - why are tv ads directed at the elderly so damm bossy?

 

A not-so honorable mention are the 3 times reptition for the contact number on radio ads (I always answer with a "HUH"?) and then telling us that a 800 number is toll free. 

[editorgrrl]

"call now" - why are tv ads directed at the elderly so damm bossy?

 

Even worse: "If your last name begins with A–N, call now! If it starts with O–Z, call tomorrow after 9 a.m."

[BW Manilowe]

Isn't that Carrie Underwood narrating the Sam Adams commercial?

I don't know about the Sam Adams commercial (haven't seen it yet), but I know she does, or at least did, commercials for (Oil of) Olay cosmetics which involve(d) voice overs.

[editorgrrl]

Is it this one? Not sure who the narrator is.

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7_VV/samuel-adams-independence

 

A YouTube comment says "She works in sales at Boston Beer":

[bilgistic]

Aw, I like the bearded Sam Adams dude. But I really like bearded dudes. I do think he needs to wear a beardnet (is that a word?), though.

[ByTor]

Carrie Underwood?  Blech, cross Sam Adams off the list of beers I'll drink.

[CarpeDiem54]

Aw, I like the bearded Sam Adams dude. But I really like bearded dudes. I do think he needs to wear a beardnet (is that a word?), though.

I love beards but that guy is just gross.

[Rick Kitchen]

So I'm sitting here relaxing after dinner, and my current least-favorite (i.e., hate-it-with-the-heat-of-a-thousand-suns) commercial comes on, and I think, for the thousandth time, "I have to write about this in the Hated Commercials thread before my head blows up!"  So here goes.  It's a commercial for Xfinity and how its wonderful internet allows you to work efficiently at home even if all twenty home computers are running.  The main character in the commercial is an unspeakably smarmy & smug Dad character, walking through the house in his bathrobe, carrying his mug of coffee, carrying on a monologue about his wonderful Xfinity system, interrupting himself only to snark at his kids to do their homework and to briefly acknowledge an Asian client or colleague who has been waiting patiently for D-bag Dad to keep an appointment for an online meeting; D-Dad barks something at Computer Monitor #14 in the caller's native language, then arrogantly says "Five minutes!" while he keeps pediconferencing with himself.  Eventually he ends up in his garage, home of the World's Stupidest Online Business.  Something about a virtual mouse?  Represented by a cat wearing some kind of goggles?  I hope the guy he blew off was an investor who hangs up and trashes D-Dad on LinkedIn.  Ha!

 

The thing I don't understand is the Dad runs through the living room and tells the kids to do their homework, then says, "Greg, that goes for you, too."

 

Who the hell is Greg?

[Prevailing Wind]

 

Even worse: "If your last name begins with A–N, call now! If it starts with O–Z, call tomorrow after 9 a.m."

I've been seeing that one a lot lately - every day.  It reminds me of Joe's Crab Shack with "Free Crabs Tomorrow" - with a last name in the second half of the alphabet, I'll NEVER get to call these people.  (oh, see me crying?)

[TeapotDiva]

The thing I don't understand is the Dad runs through the living room and tells the kids to do their homework, then says, "Greg, that goes for you, too."

 

Who the hell is Greg?

 

I *think* that the first time he's talking to a specific kid ("Mark, do your homework"), then he adds Greg to the list.  Don't make me watch it again!  :-D

[TeapotDiva]

Not sure whether this should go in the "Say what?" or "Healthcare" commercial threads, but I'm becoming disturbed by the commercials for Latuda, a drug to treat bipolar depression.  In two separate commercials, young creative women (one a photographer, one a guitarist) apparently are taking Latuda to treat their condition.  Maybe the drug works (let's not even discuss the frightening side effects!) because they seem to be engaging with their work and families, but they seem to be a million miles away!  The phrase that comes to mind is "stoned out of their gourds." The photographer lifts the camera to her face, doesn't focus or frame, doesn't seem even to click the shutter.  The guitarist barely strums her instrument, just kind of runs her fingers down the strings. In no way do I mean disrespect to people with bipolar disorder, but I don't know whether this commercial is saying "See? Take our pill and everything will be just fine, don't worry your pretty little head," or whether it's just a badly directed and/or acted commercial. But the vacant expressions on these women are scary!

[Sandman87]

"call now" - why are tv ads directed at the elderly so damm bossy?

 

I've been seeing one lately where "call now" isn't bossy enough. They say "call right now!" They also tell us that their friendly operators are standing by. Because I always want to talk to a sales guy named "Mike" in India when I'm feeling lonely.

[Prevailing Wind]

You got a Mike? I always get Justin...except when it's Jennifer.

[crowswork]

Speaking of Buick. They finally cut that man and woman ogling the neighbors new car and the hubby says good for him and the wife in the most cutting tone sneers "Good for her" 

[AntiBeeSpray]

Carrie Underwood?  Blech, cross Sam Adams off the list of beers I'll drink.

 

My mom avoids Sam Adams beer out of principal. Since one of the members of the Koch family (the very same who have the Koch brothers as a part of it) started the company and runs it.

[xaxat]

To the job candidate who shaves his head to impress the executive of a company with a long line of bald CEOs,

 

You got no shot dude! Members of the Bald Brotherhood don't take kindly to fakers!

[erikdepressant]

It's bad enough that commercials encourage us to tear up forests with our pickups and SUVs.  Now we should use the family car to bond with the kids by trespassing:

 

 

If one of the kids had slipped and cracked his skull, you better believe CoolDad would have sued the fuck out of the former owners of the property for abandoning a water park somewhere juvenile delinquents could injure themselves.

 

I know Tony Hawk is an icon, but for the rest of the men in America: if your kids are old enough to use a skateboard, you are too old for skateboarding.  I don't want to have to yell at dads to get off my lawn.

[janie jones]

In that Tony Hawk commercial, I'm weirded out by the hair (why did they style the hair on the side facing the camera?) and expression on the person in the front passenger seat when they turn around at the end of the commercial.

[riley702]

My mom avoids Sam Adams beer out of principal. Since one of the members of the Koch family (the very same who have the Koch brothers as a part of it) started the company and runs it.

Wow, didn't know that. I'm not really a beer drinker, but when I do, it's usually the über-trendy Blue Moon. So I'm good!

[AntiBeeSpray]

Wow, didn't know that. I'm not really a beer drinker, but when I do, it's usually the über-trendy Blue Moon. So I'm good!

 

Yea I didn't know that either until awhile back when I saw a show about it on tv.

[bubbls]

It's bad enough that commercials encourage us to tear up forests with our pickups and SUVs.  Now we should use the family car to bond with the kids by trespassing:

 

If one of the kids had slipped and cracked his skull, you better believe CoolDad would have sued the fuck out of the former owners of the property for abandoning a water park somewhere juvenile delinquents could injure themselves.

 

I know Tony Hawk is an icon, but for the rest of the men in America: if your kids are old enough to use a skateboard, you are too old for skateboarding.  I don't want to have to yell at dads to get off my lawn.

 

My thoughts exactly! I hate-hate-hate this commercial. Irrational fire-breathing hate.

Edited June 28, 2015 by bubbls

[Haleth]

My mom avoids Sam Adams beer out of principal. Since one of the members of the Koch family (the very same who have the Koch brothers as a part of it) started the company and runs it.

I didn't know that!

I know Tony Hawk is an icon, but for the rest of the men in America: if your kids are old enough to use a skateboard, you are too old for skateboarding.  I don't want to have to yell at dads to get off my lawn.

I didn't know that was Tony Hawk.  

 

The things you learn on the internet!

Edited June 28, 2015 by Haleth

[xaxat]

Wow, didn't know that. I'm not really a beer drinker, but when I do, it's usually the über-trendy Blue Moon. So I'm good!

 

Depending on your politics, maybe not. Blue Moon was started by Coors (now MillerCoors), owned by the influential, conservative Coors family. Its ownership changed after a merger, but a member of the Coors family is still chairman of the parent company.

Edited June 28, 2015 by xaxat

[erikdepressant]

I didn't know that was Tony Hawk.  

 

The things you learn on the internet!

I didn't know it was him either, until I went to find the commercial.  Nor did I know which car company it was for.  It also made me want to not buy the product, so I'd call that commercial a triple fail.

[spaceytraci1208]

I hate it, but also give props to Häagen-Dazs for bypassing the barely subtle innuendo typically used in commercials for chocolate by just going full throttle and using Etta James' "I Just Want To Make Love To You" in their latest commercial

[bubbls]

I hate it, but also give props to Häagen-Dazs for bypassing the barely subtle innuendo typically used in commercials for chocolate by just going full throttle and using Etta James' "I Just Want To Make Love To You" in their latest commercial

 

So that's what it is. I hate that commercial and had guessed it was about chocolate something or another. I've only heard it, never seen. I don't see why these companies don't just freeze or mold their chocolate into the shape of a sex toy. Batteries....chocolate ones of course....sold separately.

[erikdepressant]

So that's what it is. I hate that commercial and had guessed it was about chocolate something or another. I've only heard it, never seen. I don't see why these companies don't just freeze or mold their chocolate into the shape of a sex toy. Batteries....chocolate ones of course....sold separately.

 

The Breyers Gelato Indulgences commercial below has already been mocked on this site, but I think it should be rejiggered for bubbls's awesome idea:

 

Kid: "Is that ice cream?"

 

Mom: "No, it's a Häagen-Dazs Dildo Indulgence."

 

Kid: "Can I have some?"

 

Dad: "You wouldn't like dildos like I do.  I'm a grown up."

 

[DeLurker]

Dad: "You wouldn't like dildos like I do.  I'm a grown up."

 

Thanks (I guess) for confirming I was not hallucinating when I heard dildo.  Since I no longer drink and never did any drugs that would have a lingering effect, I figured it was a result of a head injury I got about 8 years ago.

 

It still makes no sense to me though ...

[Blergh]

Concur with those who hate the Match.com ads. I mean, of course they're going to use those 'interviewees' that claim to know someone who had successful matches. No way would they use the ones who say stuff like 'My sister tried it and she had to take a restraining order from the kook she got matched with!' or 'My best friend's match proved so flaky, she tried to plan their wedding as well as names and number of kids before their  first (and last) date was even over!'

   Oh, and as to the the CEO in his office? Are we supposed to believe he was genuinely surprised that that one said she had tried these hook up services fourteen times and did she actually expect the CEO not to blame it on not using his company instead of saying 'Whaddya expect? Folks who use these services often are folks whom no one they know in their real lives would wanna go out with!'

[90PercentGravity]

So the evolution of Domino's is something like:

 

We'll get our pizzas there in under 30 minutes

Oh, you don't like raw pizza? Nevermind.

We're sorry our pizzas suck. We put some stuff on the crust.

Oh, you still don't like it? Um... yeah... sorry, not sorry.

Ok, fuck it, we're changing our name.

[theredhead77]

The new barrage of Sea World commercials can go fuck themselves.

 

Yes, you truly do good work during oil spills and rehabbing and releasing injured wild life. Keep that up. But the rest? Nope and showing a Shamu in the background with his bent dorsal fin isn't helping your cause.

[backformore]

It's bad enough that commercials encourage us to tear up forests with our pickups and SUVs.  Now we should use the family car to bond with the kids by trespassing:

 

 

If one of the kids had slipped and cracked his skull, you better believe CoolDad would have sued the fuck out of the former owners of the property for abandoning a water park somewhere juvenile delinquents could injure themselves.

 

I know Tony Hawk is an icon, but for the rest of the men in America: if your kids are old enough to use a skateboard, you are too old for skateboarding.  I don't want to have to yell at dads to get off my lawn.

yeah, My first thought was that this was going to start a trend - skaters breaking into abandoned water parks, shopping malls, grocery stores, etc.    And the owners of these places having to put in security measures to avoid liability. 

 

Parking lots around me have skaters - and signs saying no skateboards or roller blades.  Someone told me that the property owners avoid being liable for injuries as long as they have the sign posted.

[slensam]

There are two commercials that kind of annoy me at this moment. The latest Viagra ad convinces me without a doubt that they're still aiming for men and not women. There's a shot during the latter part of the commercial where the camera focuses on the woman's legs for like ten seconds. I don't know why they do this but I'm a guy so they could be advertising for beans and I wouldn't know it at that point. The second commercial is for, I think, one of those Sleepnumber beds. It's not for the whole ad that pisses me off but one specific part of it. There's a scene where a pregnant woman does one of the most idiotic dances that I've ever seen on top of one of these beds, Then they come back to her at the end and she's rolling on the bed like a moron. What the hell!? I literally get chest pains when I see this woman. I doubt that she's even pregnant. It's weird to hate a "pregnant" woman in an ad. Thanks Sleepnumber or Tempurpedic or whoever you are!

[DeLurker]

yeah, My first thought was that this was going to start a trend - skaters breaking into abandoned water parks, shopping malls, grocery stores, etc.    And the owners of these places having to put in security measures to avoid liability.

Not a new trend with skaters...I'm old as dirt and the skaters I knew would not hesitate to trespass anywhere they thought might be good terrain.

[erikdepressant]

So the evolution of Domino's is something like:

...

Ok, fuck it, we're changing our name.

Thank you, 90PercentGravity!  Those Domino's commercials annoy the hell outta me!

 

Here's an old article about it:

http://www.qsrmagazine.com/store/extreme-makeover-fast-food-edition

 

I get nauseated whenever companies openly describe their rebranding efforts.  Keep it in the boardroom.

Edited June 29, 2015 by erikdepressant

[brickthru the tv]

Ok here I go again on the standard tv or radio ad speak :

 

How about the un-intelligeable speak fast after any ad?

 

How about the slogan "restrictions apply"?

 

OR better yet the 1pt pica print on any tv ad for all the disclaimers?!

 

I swear if there was ONE TV ad out there that would seem to be nearly honest - not matter what they are pimpin I might actually drop dollars to buy it,  But I guess marketers think we are all sheep.

 

PS I firmly believe that big pharma has one person the try their snake oil pill and the FIRST word out of their yap is the name of the drug

Edited June 29, 2015 by brickthru the tv

[SoSueMe]

There are two commercials that kind of annoy me at this moment. The latest Viagra ad convinces me without a doubt that they're still aiming for men and not women. There's a shot during the latter part of the commercial where the camera focuses on the woman's legs for like ten seconds. I don't know why they do this but I'm a guy so they could be advertising for beans and I wouldn't know it at that point. The second commercial is for, I think, one of those Sleepnumber beds. It's not for the whole ad that pisses me off but one specific part of it. There's a scene where a pregnant woman does one of the most idiotic dances that I've ever seen on top of one of these beds, Then they come back to her at the end and she's rolling on the bed like a moron. What the hell!? I literally get chest pains when I see this woman. I doubt that she's even pregnant. It's weird to hate a "pregnant" woman in an ad. Thanks Sleepnumber or Tempurpedic or whoever you are!

Okay, I have a theory on the mattress commercial. First of all, it is a Tempurpedic-Flex mattress commercial. This is an important distinction. We have a memory foam mattress (not Tempurpedic, a cheaper knockoff )and it is wonderful to sleep on. Other activities, somewhat of a challenge to put it delicately. It lacks a lot of the rebound and resistance we had been accustomed to. I kind of think that the commercial is trying to let us know that they have addressed that problem with their new "flex" line, even to the point of showing the pregnant lady to drive the point home. Just a thought. And I agree on the pregnant lady thing. I've BEEN pregnant and I did not feel particularly photogenic.

[Ubiquitous]

yeah, My first thought was that this was going to start a trend - skaters breaking into abandoned water parks, shopping malls, grocery stores, etc.    And the owners of these places having to put in security measures to avoid liability. 

 

Parking lots around me have skaters - and signs saying no skateboards or roller blades.  Someone told me that the property owners avoid being liable for injuries as long as they have the sign posted.

Wow, I did not know that's Tony Hawk in that car ad! You'd think he would know better than to do that, given his age. I don't know about legal liability, but they forbid skateboarding because it damages the concrete. 

[iMonrey]

I don't know what drug this commercial is for, but it has the very unfortunate tag line of "Don't take painful intercourse lying down." I am not kidding.

 

I'm just now noticing that Levi's commercial I brought up before has about five or six different versions. There's a PG-rated one that doesn't show the woman unbuttoning the guy's pants, there's a PG-13 version where she reaches for them but we don't see anything after that, and the full R-rate version with a close-up of her unbuttoning his pants. I don't know why I'm obsessing over this. I like the song, though:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMSo34rIUDg

[Bort]

I don't know what drug this commercial is for, but it has the very unfortunate tag line of "Don't take painful intercourse lying down." I am not kidding.

I've seen that commercial. Apparently, it's for the dried out, post menopausal woman. And maybe this is just me still being pre menopausal, but wouldn't it be cheaper to just buy a great big bottle of KY?

[Muffyn]

I've seen that commercial. Apparently, it's for the dried out, post menopausal woman. And maybe this is just me still being pre menopausal, but wouldn't it be cheaper to just buy a great big bottle of KY?

Supposedly the drug also helps re-thicken the walls of the vagina, thereby helping alleviate two causes of pain - thin vaginal walls and dryness.  With that said, unless you have a severe (as in "moderate to severe") case of vaginal pain during sexual activities that you want to engage in, lube has a lot fewer side effects.  The motto for the day - Always start with lube!

Edited June 30, 2015 by Muffyn

[xaxat]

Thank you, 90PercentGravity!  Those Domino's commercials annoy the hell outta me!

 

Here's an old article about it:

http://www.qsrmagazine.com/store/extreme-makeover-fast-food-edition

 

I get nauseated whenever companies openly describe their rebranding efforts.  Keep it in the boardroom.

 

The thing that annoys me about this "rebranding" is the fact that all they are doing is dropping the word "Pizza" from their name. They kept the colors, kept the domino logo and 80 percent of their business is probably still going to be pizza. 

 

It's not like I'm going to drive down the road and see Joe's Pita Shack where the old Domino's used to be.

[DeLurker]

The thing that annoys me about this "rebranding" is the fact that all they are doing is dropping the word "Pizza" from their name. They kept the colors, kept the domino logo and 80 percent of their business is probably still going to be pizza.

For me it doesn't matter.  i've always referred to Domino's Pizza as Domino's (along with everyone else on the planet) and, other than for a short period of time in college when they were the only place that delivered on campus, Domino's is the last place I think of when I think pizza.

 

Well, not exactly true...I would think of Domino's before Cici's or Little Ceasar's.

[Maharincess]

However, I am fond of hearing ole Merle sing again.

My husband hates that commercial because I always end up singing the rest of the song. Loudly. Today's country music can't hold a candle to the old stuff.

I just started reading this thread, I may have been in this section once a while back but it's my new favorite. You're all cracking me up. I've been going back and reading some older pages too.

Its too hot to do anything else today so thanks for the entertainment!

[bilgistic]

The motto for the day - Always start with lube!

Everyone should have this cross-stitched on a throw pillow.

[CarpeDiem54]

I don't know what drug this commercial is for, but it has the very unfortunate tag line of "Don't take painful intercourse lying down." I am not kidding.

Every time I see that commercial (about 10 times a day), I shout one of several responses, "So screw standing up/sitting up/bent over the couch/on a swingset..."

[Maverick]

Every time I see that commercial (about 10 times a day), I shout one of several responses, "So screw standing up/sitting up/bent over the couch/on a swingset..."

Or: "So do the reverse cowgirl and make him take it lying down. Yee haw!"

[CarpeDiem54]

Or: "So do the reverse cowgirl and make him take it lying down. Yee haw!"

Then maybe your cowboy won't need one of those blue pills. Ride 'em cowgirl!

[Calamity Jane]

Even worse: "If your last name begins with A–N, call now! If it starts with O–Z, call tomorrow after 9 a.m."

This one has had me chuckling for a while because you will hear it at all times of day.  Dummmmmmmmmmb.  Clearly just a way to get people to want to call RIGHT NOW.

[Calamity Jane]

I hear "pelvic may-ush" and "bladder schlang." I make fun of her. Every. Single. Time.

She's definitely got the lateral lishp going.  Sounds Texan to me.  And I also mock it loudly every time it's on.  The cats have had it with me.