Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage

[TattleTeeny]

I keep seeing Palmer's lotion commercials that irritate the living hell out of me! One stars a very pregnant Jennifer Love Hewitt, which is bad enough. But the words she is saying are so smarmy and cloying (like her)--something about "as my love grows" referring to her stupid-ass belly. And "I love my palmer's belly." Ugh, I can't with her. 

The other (and I am not actually certain it's Palmer's now but it's something with coconut oil or milk in it. A lady is standing in the rainforest with a milk-filled half a coconut in her hand--which is bent in a super-weird angle. To illustrate the coconut being good for skin, she dumps this onto herself while looking catatonically skyward. But the way she does it, it's basically hitting one spot and then just splashing off into the dirt! Not effective!

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How about this: "Ace is the place with the helpful hardware face". :)

That's exactly how I hear it!

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Are they really effective ads?  I want to run and pull a pillow over my head.

I always wonder if a positive spin would yield more results for the charities. First, people would watch the whole thing, which I assume is what they hope for when they make the damn commercials! Second, the sense of "These commercials have been happening for over a decade; clearly my paltry $18 per month is doing nothing!" might be eliminated in people who find the cause to be a hopeless one. Show us what our money can and has done!

 

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My virtually blind 88-year-old mother has a land line.  She's afraid of technology.

So do I at 46. No way am I depending on something that is not only portable and thus easy to leave somewhere by mistake, but something I need to remember to charge. No way! Plus, the phone is our doorbell, essentially, so it stays--I need my Thai food deliveries, after all. 

Edited March 28, 2017 by TattleTeeny

[theredhead77]

On 3/18/2017 at 10:29 AM, ari333 said:

I noticed when the ads for cable or internet service air they always try to bundle in a landline for ONLY $11.99! Don't need it. If it were a dollar I may get one. heh

You still have to pay all the taxes and non-discounted fees for that active land-line. My parents have a landline, which is for the best since my mom still doesn't understand she has to keep her phone turned on if she wants to get calls or texts. My dad has conditioned her to think all technology must be plugged in, and turned off at all times so the battery doesn't die. Don't bother trying to tell him it makes the battery life worse; he knows best!

[proserpina65]

1 hour ago, TattleTeeny said:

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My virtually blind 88-year-old mother has a land line.  She's afraid of technology.

So do I at 46. No way am I depending on something that is not only portable and thus easy to leave somewhere by mistake, but something I need to remember to charge. No way! Plus, the phone is our doorbell, essentially, so it stays--I need my Thai food deliveries, after all. 

Edited 26 minutes ago by TattleTeeny.

Me, too.  Heck, I still have one home phone which is not cordless - for when the power goes out.  (Which it did during the last snow storm, so at least I could talk to people in the dark.)

Plus, I'll go to my grave remembering the day we had an earthquake in Maryland and no one could get through on their cell phones, but the attorney whose office was next door to the courthouse could call people on his land line.

Edited March 28, 2017 by proserpina65
Because comma placement is important

[theredhead77]

2 minutes ago, proserpina65 said:

Me, too.  Heck, I still have one home phone which is not cordless - for when the power goes out.

That reminds me, I need to get a corded phone from my parents and find out if the phone lines in my neighborhood were upgraded or if they'll still work when the power goes out. Not that 911 will be of any use if I'm in that situation.

Topical: It's  been discussed over and over here but those damn ASPCA commercials can go die in a fire. They must work but sheesh, how can I opt out? I'm taking a mental health day today, and was watching ION, minding my own business and gut-punch! Then I turned on USA network, minding my own business and a second gut-punch! Now my rescue cat-cat wants to sit on my lap and I can't go to the gym.

[Silver Raven]

3 hours ago, proserpina65 said:

Me, too.  Heck, I still have one home phone which is not cordless - for when the power goes out.  (Which it did during the last snow storm, so at least I could talk to people in the dark.)

Even though we have a land line, it's digital, so it's connected to a backup battery that's about the size and weight of a car battery.  When the power goes out, the battery keeps the phone working.  Though it beeps annoyingly every five minutes when the battery is in use.

[Ilovecomputers]

Loathe the Snyder Hanover pretzel ads. The woman talks out of the side of her mouth, tries to seem like a tough broad but fails. 

[Westiepeach]

1 minute ago, Ilovecomputers said:

Loathe the Snyder Hanover pretzel ads. The woman talks out of the side of her mouth, tries to seem like a tough broad but fails. 

ITA. She creeps me out!

[rcc]

3 minutes ago, Ilovecomputers said:

Loathe the Snyder Hanover pretzel ads. The woman talks out of the side of her mouth, tries to seem like a tough broad but fails. 

Is that the one where she's wearing a black cheap wig?

[chessiegal]

1 minute ago, rcc said:

Is that the one where she's wearing a black cheap wig?

Yep.

[Ryan Chamberlain]

That Haribo ad where the adults are talking like kids makes me want to jump off a bridge.

[hoosiermom]

On 3/13/2017 at 1:45 PM, walnutqueen said:

I want a free scooter to shop for cat food & visit the San Diego Zoo/Wild Animal Park one more time ...

 

 

They have segway tours of the zoo. Would that work for you? They also have pickup tours where you ride in the back and get right down with some of the animals. I got to feed a giraffe!

[walnutqueen]

1 hour ago, hoosiermom said:

They have segway tours of the zoo. Would that work for you? They also have pickup tours where you ride in the back and get right down with some of the animals. I got to feed a giraffe!

I'd never chance a segway, and can't afford the tours these days - that's why I want the free scooter!  ;-)

[hoosiermom]

Satire of a psychic 

[bilgistic]

7 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

The other (and I am not actually certain it's Palmer's now but it's something with coconut oil or milk in it. A lady is standing in the rainforest with a milk-filled half a coconut in her hand--which is bent in a super-weird angle. To illustrate the coconut being good for skin, she dumps this onto herself while looking catatonically skyward. But the way she does it, it's basically hitting one spot and then just splashing off into the dirt! Not effective!

I think it looks super porny. I'm fairly sure Palmer's (or whoever) didn't intend for that, but yeah, white fluid splashing down a shapely woman's chest? Porny.

[themajormotoko]

The Squaty Potty needs to go away like yesterday.  Maybe I have a delicate constitution, but it grosses me out.  Certainly does not make me want to buy one.  And wouldn't you know, I just saw that commercial on MSNBC. 

[mythoughtis]

The Audi bull whisperer commercial - I'm supposed to believe this guy, dressed as a rodeo contestant and tough enough to tame a bull,  drives an Audi? Really?  Sorry, that guy drives a Ford, Chevy or Dodge full sized crew cab truck. 

Edited March 29, 2017 by mythoughtis

[themajormotoko]

I agree mythoughtis!  Talk about being delusional.

[friendperidot]

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Topical: It's  been discussed over and over here but those damn ASPCA commercials can go die in a fire. They must work but sheesh, how can I opt out? I'm taking a mental health day today, and was watching ION, minding my own business and gut-punch! Then I turned on USA network, minding my own business and a second gut-punch! Now my rescue cat-cat wants to sit on my lap and I can't go to the gym.

Add to that those poor kids at St. Jude's, then there's the Save the Holocaust Survivors and LeSea Corporation, I think they're affiliated with COZI TV, they've got the whole thing mapped out so you can plan your estate to include them! 

And since I watch a lot of H&I, Antenna, Escape, METV, I get to see the ads for the cross with a stone from the birthplace of Jesus in gold tone or stainless steel - can't remember if this one is kitchen grade or not. What would Jesus do? I somehow don't think he'd be selling a stupid cross with a piece of gravel and saying they are limited quantities, yeah, they're limited to however much gravel some idiot put in his pocket and smuggled out of Nazareth, if they even bothered to do that. Good grief this one ticks me off!

[Jaded]

10 minutes ago, friendperidot said:

And since I watch a lot of H&I, Antenna, Escape, METV, I get to see the ads for the cross with a stone from the birthplace of Jesus in gold tone or stainless steel - can't remember if this one is kitchen grade or not. What would Jesus do? I somehow don't think he'd be selling a stupid cross with a piece of gravel and saying they are limited quantities, yeah, they're limited to however much gravel some idiot put in his pocket and smuggled out of Nazareth, if they even bothered to do that. Good grief this one ticks me off!

When it comes on awful words start coming out of my mouth. I also mutter about how there will always be plenty of stupid people to keep those gravel sellers in business.

[Brattinella]

Have I mentioned my hatred for the Tide commercial, where the mother says "Mine is the one in white"?  It has nothing to do with that statement, though.  I was in choir for almost every year I was in school, and I was NEVER allowed to act a fool while singing, like this little girl does.  Why hasn't the choir director (or the MOTHER) done something about this?  Is it always ME ME ME lookatMEE?

[SmithW6079]

8 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

The Audi bull whisperer commercial - I'm supposed to believe this guy, dressed as a rodeo contestant and tough enough to tame a bull,  drives an Audi? Really?  Sorry, that guy drives a Ford, Chevy or Dodge full sized crew cab truck. 

 

8 hours ago, themajormotoko said:

I agree mythoughtis!  Talk about being delusional.

Because he can't afford an Audi? 

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All-time money earners in professional bull riding as of 2014 include Justin McBride, who collected more than $5 million before retiring, J.B. Mauney with almost $5 million, and Guilherme March, who has made about as much as Mauney. Other high earners include Chris Shivers and Mike Lee, each of whom has earned well over $3 million.

According to Forbes Magazine, professional bull riding is a lucrative sport for both the owner and the rider. For example, the magazine cites that the cowboys who originally invested $1,000 to fund the Professional Bull Riding circuit are now worth over $4 million.

 

https://www.reference.com/business-finance/much-money-bull-riders-make-4e0a55f7bf47a0e2#

[mythoughtis]

22 minutes ago, SmithW6079 said:

Because he can't afford an Audi? 

No- because an Audi isn't practical to take rodeo equipment, tools of the trade, ranch supplies, etc. in.   I didn't mean to imply they didn't have money.  

My sister drives a Ford King Ranch pick up truck- specifically named for the sprawling King ranch in Texas,$41,000 used. Big trucks aren't cheap. 

Edited March 29, 2017 by mythoughtis

[TattleTeeny]

11 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I think it looks super porny. I'm fairly sure Palmer's (or whoever) didn't intend for that, but yeah, white fluid splashing down a shapely woman's chest? Porny.

I though so too, but fixated more on that weird bend of her arm and the fact that she's wasting all of her coconut juice and moisturizing almost nothing! Also, the closeup of her face looks almost nothing like her face in the rest of the commercial.

[configdotsys]

7 hours ago, Brattinella said:

Have I mentioned my hatred for the Tide commercial, where the mother says "Mine is the one in white"?  It has nothing to do with that statement, though.  I was in choir for almost every year I was in school, and I was NEVER allowed to act a fool while singing, like this little girl does.  Why hasn't the choir director (or the MOTHER) done something about this?  Is it always ME ME ME lookatMEE?

Yes! Much hate for that little snowflake trying to upstage everyone else because, well, she's a snowflake! Busybody mom should stop gloating and being an ass about a stupid shirt. No wonder the kid is obnoxiously showing off. 

[LoneHaranguer]

15 hours ago, Ryan Chamberlain said:

That Haribo ad where the adults are talking like kids makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Reminds me of old superhero shows where a villain would zap people with a ray gun to do odd things. Might not be as bad if there was one distinct voice for each actor and the audio sounded more natural.

[rcc]

17 hours ago, chessiegal said:

Yep.

She creeps me out too.

[docmatt]

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Loathe the Snyder Hanover pretzel ads

I am as afraid of pretzels as my dogs are of Sarah McMuffin or whatever her name is

[chessiegal]

Sara McLachlan. I was watching comedian Kathleen Madigan's special "Bothering Jesus" on Netflix yesterday, and she was taking pokes at those ads.

Edited March 30, 2017 by chessiegal

[janie jones]

20 hours ago, friendperidot said:

Add to that those poor kids at St. Jude's, then there's the Save the Holocaust Survivors and LeSea Corporation, I think they're affiliated with COZI TV, they've got the whole thing mapped out so you can plan your estate to include them!

I don't know about those other people, but at least the St. Jude's commercials show happy children to show that your money is being used properly for what they say it's being used for.  (Or maybe I'm thinking of Shriners Hospitals.  Or both.)  The ASPCA commercials just show suffering animals.  Why not show animals getting rescued or treated or frolicking with their new families at the beach or something?  Because otherwise where is my money going besides to pay for more ads showing me suffering animals? 

13 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

No- because an Audi isn't practical to take rodeo equipment, tools of the trade, ranch supplies, etc. in.   I didn't mean to imply they didn't have money.  

My sister drives a Ford King Ranch pick up truck- specifically named for the sprawling King ranch in Texas,$41,000 used. Big trucks aren't cheap. 

I haven't seen the commercial in question, but is the guy in it some famous rodeo guy?  Can he not probably afford a truck and an Audi?  I mean, far less rich people have two vehicles. 

[friendperidot]

Janie, I actually agree about St. Jude's, I think all those children are beautiful and from the little I know about St. Jude's, they do a wonderful job and I wish there were more like them, but there's so many ads that want money, many are worthwhile causes, but I don't have $19/month for this, $15/month for that and $17/month for something else. And if I did, most of the charitable donations I would make would be local, local animal shelters and rescues, local mental health causes, so many local causes, St. Jude's might be able to get some money out of me though.

[smittykins]

It's Shriners that has the happy children.  I like that it shows what they've been able to achieve(playing an instrument, dancing, swimming).  The St. Jude ads just show sick kids.(Don't get me wrong, St. Jude's is a wonderful charity, and I believe Danny Thomas has earned a special place in Heaven for founding it.)

[friendperidot]

I don't think I've seen the Shriner's ads. But the St Jude's ad shows beautiful children, some working hard to overcome the problems they now have due to cancer, several learning to walk with artificial limbs, and when they talk about their disease and St. Jude's, they're very positive. Yes, Danny Thomas has earned a special place in Heaven.

[Ohwell]

Priyanka Chopra, the actress on Quantico, is widely regarded as being beautiful.  However, she's in a hair commercial and I don't know if it's the lighting or what but her eyes just look weird and scary to me.  I have to look away. 

[peacheslatour]

2 hours ago, friendperidot said:

I don't think I've seen the Shriner's ads. But the St Jude's ad shows beautiful children, some working hard to overcome the problems they now have due to cancer, several learning to walk with artificial limbs, and when they talk about their disease and St. Jude's, they're very positive. Yes, Danny Thomas has earned a special place in Heaven.

Amazon has a feature where a portion of your order payment goes to the charity of your choice. I chose St. Jude's, since we already give to the local no kill cat shelter. homeless shelter and women's health clinic.

Edited March 30, 2017 by peacheslatour

[iMonrey]

There's a Booking.com commercial that drives me nuts - a kindergarten class where the kids are running around apeshit bouncing off the walls while the teacher just stands there talking about how important her vacation time is to her. This lady doesn't deserve a vacation, she deserves to get fired for letting her classroom get that out of control. 

[spiderpig]

On 3/28/2017 at 3:15 PM, Ilovecomputers said:

Loathe the Snyder Hanover pretzel ads. The woman talks out of the side of her mouth, tries to seem like a tough broad but fails. 

I'm so glad you brought this one up.  Who on earth thought she would make me want to buy their pretzels?  I'd like to punch her in the mouth.

[chessiegal]

I got to thinking about the Snyder's ad for their pretzel pieces. I like to eat the bigger pretzels in pieces like they are advertising. But I'm wondering if they have a way to collect the broken whole pretzels after making them and then package them as pieces, thus selling what otherwise would be waste. Smart if that's what they are doing.

[ennui]

I was at a site today that sells toffee. They also sell toffee crumb bits, packaged separately. I'm sure every company has a method to reduce waste. 

[peacheslatour]

12 minutes ago, ennui said:

I was at a site today that sells toffee. They also sell toffee crumb bits, packaged separately. I'm sure every company has a method to reduce waste. 

I buy toffee bits to put in cookies.

[WescottF1]

Apparently the new "play this commercial on every break on every station on DirecTV" ad is the one with the Indian fella who used to be on Outsourced looking in his co-worker's mouth to watch his new "acid fighting" breath mints keep his teeth safe.  I have seen it every single time I've turned on the TV (oftentimes more than once) for the past two weeks.  Egad..

[peacheslatour]

"Men have ties, women have shoes. That's how we know who's boss." Okay, if you say so you vapid nitwit.

[chenoa333]

13 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

"Men have ties, women have shoes. That's how we know who's boss." Okay, if you say so you vapid nitwit.

I haven't seen that one yet. What are these vapid nitwits selling?

[peacheslatour]

Just now, chenoa333 said:

I haven't seen that one yet. What are these vapid nitwits selling?

Lol. Some kind of on-line shoe thingy. She starts out with "I think of shoes as Art and they are my collection."

[frenchtoast]

Is that the one where the woman says she has 400 pairs of shoes? Because I saw that one while watching Hoarding Buried Alive. And I turned to my 11 year old daughter and commented, "This is the absolute worst show to have an ad like that."

[TattleTeeny]

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Because otherwise where is my money going besides to pay for more ads showing me suffering animals? 

Toward the printing of approximately 9,657 address labels you will receive in thanks for your donations, and piles of blank greeting cards with various animal pictures*. Or a few super tiny and thin fleece blankets...which I actually brought to my animal shelter, so that's good (we wrap the cats' beds with towels and blankets because its easier and faster than cleaning the actual beds). 

(*Which I split in half and used for the big "Ides of" postcard thing--the better to make angry "pussy" puns with.)

Edited March 30, 2017 by TattleTeeny

[Muffyn]

So you're hanging around your messy house wearing your short-shorts when your boyfriend calls to say he's on his way over with his mom.  Your choice?  Run around the house hiding things while shaving your legs.  Because the thing you want to do on the fly is shave your legs  Sure it's a razor you can use without lathering up your legs but they would still be wet and sticky.  And if your boyfriend's mother is so damn obsessed with your leg hair, put on some pants, dammit.  Put on some pants!  

[Jamoche]

"My god, you guys and your doors."

[Brattinella]

Is that another Chevy ad?  I won't even peek.

[HighMaintenance]

18 hours ago, spiderpig said:

I'm so glad you brought this one up.  Who on earth thought she would make me want to buy their pretzels?  I'd like to punch her in the mouth.

Am I the only one that thought she was Eileen Brennan?  'Cept Brennan died in 2013.  

[HighMaintenance]

Eyeglass World keeps running a commercial featuring "Smug Justin".  Just his facial tics, make me wanna smack the glasses from his face.  Those pursed lips and those roaming eyebrows!
Gah! Smug Justin!