The Duggalos: Jinger and the Holy Goalie

[DangerousMinds]

4 hours ago, Loves2Dance said:

For the average family it would be, but I don't believe the Seewalds have a mortgage or a car payment. Take away two of the larger bills most households have and that leaves you with utilities, cell phone, food/clothes and entertainment.  

Health care?

[Loves2Dance]

20 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

Health care?

They buy into a Fundie insurance that essentially pays for well child appointments and vaccines don't they? I doubt it costs what normal people pay. But, and this is a big but, I did not factor in the cost of health care because it's not a big expense in my family so I forgot about how much it costs the average family. We are very fortunate to have Tricare for the rest of our lives, so we pay pennies compared to most.

[GeeGolly]

11 hours ago, Loves2Dance said:

For the average family it would be, but I don't believe the Seewalds have a mortgage or a car payment. Take away two of the larger bills most households have and that leaves you with utilities, cell phone, food/clothes and entertainment.  

Very true. But they still have property taxes and cars don't last forever and they probably will have more children. One of my colleagues is a single parent of 3, owns her home outright, makes more than minimum wage, receives supplemented health care through the state and barely makes ends meet. Low wages of today don't stretch nearly as far as low wages of years ago.

[Churchhoney]

5 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Very true. But they still have property taxes and cars don't last forever and they probably will have more children. One of my colleagues is a single parent of 3, owns her home outright, makes more than minimum wage, receives supplemented health care through the state and barely makes ends meet. Low wages of today don't stretch nearly as far as low wages of years ago.

And unless they're going to do very minimal (read: child-neglect minimal) home schooling, that, too, requires some money (and it's now not that many years away) -- You do need to buy at least some books, supplies, computer programs, probably some extra laptops if you have more than a couple kids, etc. You can't get everything you need from the library (and do they even know where the library is? I mean, Jessa's an "author" and all, but while Bin seems to have brought home a lot of theology books (bought, not borrowed, though, I guess), what about mom-the-homeschooler?)

Of course, if they did what many hope and sent the kids to a real school when they got older, that would require fairly serious money (since it won't be a public school.) I must say that's one reason I doubt they'll do it. But even if they just signed the kids up for a homeschool sports co-op or something -- which the Seewalds apparently did for Bin -- that would be at least a bit more cash going out the door. 

And we also haven't mentioned home and yard maintenance. They apparently have a pretty big back yard (?) and you can't just let the house fall down....Quite a few monetary demands come from those things, in my experience, even if you do a lot of the work yourself. And can they? I mean, Jim Bob made them experts in property maintenance, of course, but I wonder about the breadth of their expertise. lol

Edited January 3, 2019 by Churchhoney

[Absolom]

9 hours ago, Loves2Dance said:

They buy into a Fundie insurance that essentially pays for well child appointments and vaccines don't they?

That one is another online rumor.  The only time a Duggar has discussed health insurance that I've seen was Jim Bob talking about having regular health insurance. 

[Madtown]

Two pictures. She is truly is adorable, bows and all...Very happy too.

[GeeGolly]

Other than the head ornaments I think Felicity's clothing is great.

[Lunera]

Maybe it's just me but those shoes are not cute.

Jinger tagged the doll which means it was sent to her for free in return for a post. I checked the website and they are around $50-$70 but they also donate meals to children with every purchase.

[Churchhoney]

4 hours ago, Lunera said:

Maybe it's just me but those shoes are not cute.

Jinger tagged the doll which means it was sent to her for free in return for a post. I checked the website and they are around $50-$70 but they also donate meals to children with every purchase.

For some reason, the shoes seem very Jeremy-style to me. I can almost picture him wearing them more than Jinger....

They seem to have pretty limited wearability when it comes to the color and style of the rest of your wardrobe for the day. ... Especially for somewhat matchy-matchy people (like Felicity and companion), which I think Jer and Jingle are, although I could be wrong about that.... I don't see either of them as the kind of fashion free spirit who'd wear those with anything, though -- like, say, pink bermuda shorts and a tuxedo jacket over a Warhol's Marilyn tee shirt or a dress whose color didn't harmonize. 

ETA: I actually don't dislike the shoes. They're not my particular style, but I can picture my mom wearing them -- She wore 50s-origin styles like fancy bright-colored loafers and skinny black pants into her 90s and looked dynamite. I think of Jingle with somewhat more girly shoes, though, and, especially, with the same shoes worn a lot .... These shoes would only be matchy matchy with a few of your outfits.  So I feel as if they don't fit the Duggar shoe-frugality....Although maybe Jingle's moving on from that. 

Edited January 5, 2019 by Churchhoney

[GeeGolly]

I usually like men's wear type shoes for women. I usually like odd and quirky too. I don't much care for the plaid loafers though.

[farmgal4]

25 minutes ago, Madtown said:

Two pictures. She is truly is adorable, bows and all...Very happy too.

She’s a beautiful baby and appears to be very good-natured.

[DangerousMinds]

We only see exactly what they want us to see.

[beagletime]

I really like the shoes.  With skinny jeans, a tee and jacket.  Black jeggings or a basic dress.   Alas, I no longer have the body for skinny jeans or jeggings. Seems a little odd to show the price.  Did she want us to know Jeremy is a bargain shopper?  Cute baby. Love the bubble romper.

[Lunera]

12 minutes ago, beagletime said:

I really like the shoes.  With skinny jeans, a tee and jacket.  Black jeggings or a basic dress.   Alas, I no longer have the body for skinny jeans or jeggings. Seems a little odd to show the price.  Did she want us to know Jeremy is a bargain shopper?  Cute baby. Love the bubble romper.

She didn't show the price, I Googled plaid blue loafers because I was interested in the price. I wonder if Jinger ever wears those $100+ Jordans Jeremy got her.

Edited January 4, 2019 by Lunera

[beagletime]

4 minutes ago, Lunera said:

She didn't show the price, I Googled plaid blue loafers because I was interested in the price. I wonder if Jinger ever wears those $100+ Jordans Jeremy got her.

So sorry! I thought that was from Jinger's Instagram.

[Catfin]

On 1/2/2019 at 10:52 PM, Loves2Dance said:

They buy into a Fundie insurance that essentially pays for well child appointments and vaccines don't they? I doubt it costs what normal people pay. But, and this is a big but, I did not factor in the cost of health care because it's not a big expense in my family so I forgot about how much it costs the average family. We are very fortunate to have Tricare for the rest of our lives, so we pay pennies compared to most.

“Regular” non -Fundie insurance covers well child care and routine vaccines at 100%. 

[BitterApple]

Not a fan of the blue plaid, but I imagine it's a thrill for Jinger to have new shoes that fit and haven't been worn by a dozen other people.

[doodlebug]

30 minutes ago, Catfin said:

“Regular” non -Fundie insurance covers well child care and routine vaccines at 100%. 

There is a federal program, vaccines for children, that provides vaccines for free to all children who are not insured/cannot pay.  So, even if their insurance doesn't cover it, all they have to do is contact the local health department for information on where to get them.  Most pediatricians are qualified to provide free vaccinations to kids by that program.  Of course, the cost of the office visit and nurse's time to give the injection is not covered by Uncle Sam.

My sister, a middle class mom with good health insurance, was advised by her pediatrician not to get her kids vaccinated in his office.  Instead, he gave her a list of vaccines and when they needed to be given and told her to contact the health department which had days of the month set aside to do immunizations for free.  He did this with all his patients because he couldn't afford not to charge to give them.

Edited January 5, 2019 by doodlebug

[Oldernowiser]

Pretty baby.

Ugly shoes.

[Loves2Dance]

3 hours ago, doodlebug said:

There is a federal program, vaccines for children, that provides vaccines for free to all children who are not insured/cannot pay.  So, even if their insurance doesn't cover it, all they have to do is contact the local health department for information on where to get them.  Most pediatricians are qualified to provide free vaccinations to kids by that program.  Of course, the cost of the office visit and nurse's time to give the injection is not covered by Uncle Sam.

My sister, a middle class mom with good health insurance, was advised by her pediatrician not to get her kids vaccinated in his office.  Instead, he gave her a list of vaccines and when they needed to be given and told her to contact the health department which had days of the month set aside to do immunizations for free.  He did this with all his patients because he couldn't afford not to charge to give them.

We went to the health department for a vaccine when our Ped couldn't get us in soon enough and the school was throwing a fit. 

[Zahdii]

Up until Junior High, our school gave us our vaccinations.  Mom found it easier to pay $5 per vaccine per kid than to take us to the Health Department or to a doctor.  The school kept track of our records, let the parents know when shot days were, and the kids whose parents signed off on it would line up and get our shots.  Get in line, go to the first person standing their with their shot gun, they'd look at the card we had hanging around our neck and if we needed that particular shot we'd get it.  Take another couple of steps, get our card checked again, etc.  At the end of the line, those of us who needed to get our Polio vaccines would get a sugar cube with some red liquid squirted over it. 

We were all terribly brave, because no one wanted to be one of those kids who freaked out and had to be taken to the nurses office to get their shots in private.  Everyone knew that was reserved for the screamers.  Those who missed the first shot day were taken out of class a week or so later and got their shots then. 

Every so often a kid was so terrified of needles that their parents were called to come calm them down so they could get it all done.  Mom always warned us that if we thought getting a shot was bad, we'd think it was a picnic compared to what would happen if she had to be called to the school to calm us down.  I was always amazed at what kids would tease the poor needle-phobes and which ones would rise to their defense.

[Christina87]

6 hours ago, Zahdii said:

Up until Junior High, our school gave us our vaccinations.  Mom found it easier to pay $5 per vaccine per kid than to take us to the Health Department or to a doctor.  The school kept track of our records, let the parents know when shot days were, and the kids whose parents signed off on it would line up and get our shots.  Get in line, go to the first person standing their with their shot gun, they'd look at the card we had hanging around our neck and if we needed that particular shot we'd get it.  Take another couple of steps, get our card checked again, etc.  At the end of the line, those of us who needed to get our Polio vaccines would get a sugar cube with some red liquid squirted over it. 

We were all terribly brave, because no one wanted to be one of those kids who freaked out and had to be taken to the nurses office to get their shots in private.  Everyone knew that was reserved for the screamers.  Those who missed the first shot day were taken out of class a week or so later and got their shots then. 

Every so often a kid was so terrified of needles that their parents were called to come calm them down so they could get it all done.  Mom always warned us that if we thought getting a shot was bad, we'd think it was a picnic compared to what would happen if she had to be called to the school to calm us down.  I was always amazed at what kids would tease the poor needle-phobes and which ones would rise to their defense.

Oh gosh, this reminds me of my Hepatitis B shot experience!!!

we got those at school in sixth grade, and they were HORRIBLE!!! You couldn't move your arm for days, and we had to have three of them. They'd also schedule the shots for the end of the day, so you had to go through all your classes while thinking about it. You'd see the kids who just got their shots, looking miserable, walking out of the library. It was just horrible!

shot #1 was particularly horrible because it was the day before my birthday! I dreaded, and then hated having to spend my birthday like that!

when I started teaching, the school nurse asked me if I was hepatitis B vaccinated. I told her yes, and she said, "by any chance, do you remember when you got vaccinated?"

"October 6, 1999," I replied, without missing a beat.

she was stunned that I knew that, but then had an easy time looking me up in the system and verifying that I'd had the shots. 

Worst. Shots. Ever!

[Sew Sumi]

I'm doing my Hep B boosters now (last one next month) and never had any issues. Hell, I got a flu shot piggy backed on my shot in September. Arm worked just fine. 😀

[farmgal4]

8 hours ago, Zahdii said:

Up until Junior High, our school gave us our vaccinations.  Mom found it easier to pay $5 per vaccine per kid than to take us to the Health Department or to a doctor.  The school kept track of our records, let the parents know when shot days were, and the kids whose parents signed off on it would line up and get our shots.  Get in line, go to the first person standing their with their shot gun, they'd look at the card we had hanging around our neck and if we needed that particular shot we'd get it.  Take another couple of steps, get our card checked again, etc.  At the end of the line, those of us who needed to get our Polio vaccines would get a sugar cube with some red liquid squirted over it. 

We were all terribly brave, because no one wanted to be one of those kids who freaked out and had to be taken to the nurses office to get their shots in private.  Everyone knew that was reserved for the screamers.  Those who missed the first shot day were taken out of class a week or so later and got their shots then. 

Every so often a kid was so terrified of needles that their parents were called to come calm them down so they could get it all done.  Mom always warned us that if we thought getting a shot was bad, we'd think it was a picnic compared to what would happen if she had to be called to the school to calm us down.  I was always amazed at what kids would tease the poor needle-phobes and which ones would rise to their defense.

1960’s child here.  We were also inoculated at school.  I was the kid who passed out cold while getting my smallpox vaccine.

[3 is enough]

Funny, I got my granddaughter the exact same stuffed dog that Felicity has in the photo.  It was from Cuddle and Kind, and for a holiday promotion my purchase provided 20 free meals to children in need.  It is a gorgeous little dog- really well made and the attention to detail is amazing.  I would highly recommend it.  I saw an ad in my Instagram feed- I am guessing Jinger did the same but got a freebie for featuring it in a photo.  

[Adeejay]

On ‎1‎/‎4‎/‎2019 at 5:28 PM, DangerousMinds said:

We only see exactly what they want us to see.

Which is the way it should be.

[Gemma Violet]

Maybe I'm weird, but I love those shoes and I'd wear 'em.  They'd go great with jeans.  The only thing is they look too big for Jinger's feet.  I wonder if Jeremy even knows her shoe size.

[cmr2014]

1 minute ago, Gemma Violet said:

Maybe I'm weird, but I love those shoes and I'd wear 'em.  They'd go great with jeans.  The only thing is they look too big for Jinger's feet.  I wonder if Jeremy even knows her shoe size.

I wondered that, too. I thought that they might be Jeremy's shoes, but maybe Jinger wears them a lot and the "thanks for the new shoes, babe" was a joke. A joke, I know, how crazy would that be?

[Christina87]

2 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

I'm doing my Hep B boosters now (last one next month) and never had any issues. Hell, I got a flu shot piggy backed on my shot in September. Arm worked just fine. 😀

Did they do the air gun? Supposedly that was what made it hurt so much, and I guess it could have also been our age. It was awful though! I remember not being able to move it at all...and I'm a pretty dramatic person, but I didn't over exaggerate it at all! We all had trouble moving them for a few days. Some things are actually better about getting older, I guess! No matter what it is, glad you aren't feeling that awful pain!

[Sew Sumi]

No guns, just the basic 💉

[fonfereksglen]

1 hour ago, Adeejay said:

Which is the way it should be.

But it is a carefully curated, formally posed yet  rather oddly edited version of their life.  It is especially strange since Jing  and HER daugher have had " seemingly " zero interaction with her gallionion siblings over the holidays.  Everything is all about JerJer and his family.

[ChiCricket]

10 minutes ago, fonfereksglen said:

But it is a carefully curated, formally posed yet  rather oddly edited version of their life.  It is especially strange since Jing  and HER daugher have had " seemingly " zero interaction with her gallionion siblings over the holidays.  Everything is all about JerJer and his family.

 It might feel good to be in a smaller family, and not one of the hordes. People are funny, sometimes we want what we didn't have.

Edited January 6, 2019 by ChiCricket

[Ohiopirate02]

15 minutes ago, fonfereksglen said:

But it is a carefully curated, formally posed yet  rather oddly edited version of their life.  It is especially strange since Jing  and HER daugher have had " seemingly " zero interaction with her gallionion siblings over the holidays.  Everything is all about JerJer and his family.

I think I would rather spend my holidays where my child is a cherished grandchild then a barn where she is just another number.  From her social media posts it does look like Jinger aporeciates her siblings visiting her.  I get that.   I would rather have people come to me instead of traveling to someone else's home.  I like my bed better than any guest room.

[ChiCricket]

1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

 I would rather have people come to me instead of traveling to someone else's home.  I like my bed better than any guest room.

 I so agree with this.

The old saying "fish and company stink after three days" is true.

Also, being company stinks (for me) after just three days. I want to go home.

And think about it..where would they stay? Are there hotels nearby?  (and if so, would the family get offended if they didn't stay with them?) 

Couldn't pay me enough to go.

She'd have to be around Josh, too.

Edited January 6, 2019 by ChiCricket

[BitterApple]

57 minutes ago, fonfereksglen said:

But it is a carefully curated, formally posed yet  rather oddly edited version of their life.  It is especially strange since Jing  and HER daugher have had " seemingly " zero interaction with her gallionion siblings over the holidays.  Everything is all about JerJer and his family.

Lulz! I can't say I blame Jingle for that one! Christmas at the Duggars sounds like the stuff nightmares are made of. One thing I've noticed about the Vuolos is they get out and do stuff. The Duggars just sit around like a bunch of bored passengers in an airline terminal. 

Edited January 6, 2019 by BitterApple

[fonfereksglen]

1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I think I would rather spend my holidays where my child is a cherished grandchild then a barn where she is just another number.  From her social media posts it does look like Jinger aporeciates her siblings visiting her.  I get that.   I would rather have people come to me instead of traveling to someone else's home.  I like my bed better than any guest room.

Yet Jing and her daughter flew to Phili?  And stayed so long that that PastorJer didn't preach over the holidays.  So long they must have slept in a guest room somewhere other than Laredo. So I do not get your point.  

And my point is ..... consider just how carefully and completely JerJer controls their social media presence.   He is a Calvinist Svengali.  Don't  be fooled by the pretty clothes.

Edited January 6, 2019 by fonfereksglen

[ginger90]

When my girls were younger, I preferred to visit. That way we could leave on our own schedule, instead of wishing visitors would leave. I know that sounds rude. As they got older, it was easier to have family visit for a weekend, or a week or two. That way we could go about our lives, sports were a biggie, and family could attend games and tournaments.

Now, as a grandparent, I’m back to preferring to be the one to visit. Circle of life? Or, I’m just a curmudgeon.

Edited January 6, 2019 by ginger90

[lookeyloo]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

When my girls were younger, I preferred to visit. That way we could leave on our own schedule, instead of wishing visitors would leave. I know that sounds rude. As they got older, it was easier to have family visit for a weekend, or a week or two. That way we could go about our lives, sports were a biggie, and family could attend games and tournaments.

Now, as a grandparent, I’m back to preferring to be the one to visit. Circle if life? Or, I’m just a curmudgeon.

We have 3 grands and their parents. When they visit it is a bit chaotic. They are good kids and we all get along well. But we are used to just the two of us. Meals are harder even though daughter in law can and does take over sometimes. They are not destructive but laundry goes up and machine runs constantly. Then figuring out who wants to do what. We dont fight but it is different with so many people. So easier to go visit them where we have our own room.  Kids came without parents this summer and it was great too. We kept them busy. We were exhausted. So mostly I like my own house but sometimes easier on us to travel as odd as that sounds. So maybe Jin and Jer have some of each going on. 

[Kentuckydaisy]

On 12/24/2018 at 9:23 PM, TVFAN said:

It's not uncommon in the Protestant church to have special Christmas services a few days (or even weeks) before Christmas.   We are big on children's Christmas programs, and with families traveling on and around Christmas itself, having them early may be the only way to get the entire cast there.  

that is different in catholic churches it's the same no  matter where you are, I have been to church in Mexico and Italy not knowin either language and it's pretty much the same process stand up sit down kneel host. you just go where you happen to be at the time.  

[Kentuckydaisy]

On 12/25/2018 at 11:48 AM, Churchhoney said:

Well, you know, that's the real difference. And the essence of Catholicism vs. Protestantism, to my mind. One is "The Church." The other is -- faith as an individual-soul phenomenon and therefore, of course, an individual church phenomenon. (Not that there isn't deviation from both of these in both groups, of course, but -- in essence this is it. ...........

And with the fundies and evangelicals this individualism is even more pronounced, since many fundie churches don't even have a "denomination"-type church the way the mainline and some evangelical churches do. The very idea of a denomination that has a national or international name and an office somewhere or any kind of standard liturgy or hymns or anything coming down from above is anathema to some/most fundie/evangelical groups. As a Catholic, you have "the Church." Protestants do not. At all. And the more fundie you get the more that's true. So things morph a lot and vary hugely from place to place and over time.

(Ironically, of course, in response to this you also develop these one-man (or woman) cults (many of them) where one loony like Gothard or Doug Phillips etc etc takes over the whole "the Church" function and gives people back the top-down domination that Protestants were generally fleeing in the Reformation....You get one loon's thinking as a replacement for an institution. It's kind of delicious revenge, I suppose.) 

What I was trying to say about the Advent Sundays is that in fact that since the fourth Sunday is the final Advent Sunday, in some Protestant churches -- since they're all different -- has basically morphed into a Christmas service in some places because Protestant "traditions" morph like crazy over time and among groups, including among individual congregations, and local traditions change things. Because that's the nature of Protestantism -- in which, unlike in "the Church," you can CALL that Sunday anything you want. ... So since some people don't go to the Christmas service, it just becomes "the Christmas service" in some places.  

And in the early days of America -- up into the early 20th century, even -- few Protestant churches outside of large towns had anything but circuit preachers. Those guys had all they could handle just covering Sundays, I expect, so many small far-flung places didn't even have a pastor showing up on Christmas day, I'm sure. A Catholic church is an institution, with a standard practice. And a Protestant church just isn't, especially as you move further along the evangelical/fundie end of the spectrum. ... Note the name '' Independent Free Baptists," for example -- a big rebellion against the institutional type name of the Southern Baptist Convention and the National Baptist Convention, for example. They are not an institution -- they are independent and free. 

I am an Italian America catholic but I have a degree in chinese, Buddhism in the east is very similar to catholic structure is many ways. head leader, monastics, ritual, saints, monastics carrying out jobs like education,  agriculture,  health care/disaster relief.  I found it rather extensive but it makes sense for parts of the world to fill a need for social services and the need for organized structure.  the lack of structure,  there were times when buddhist monks would go from town to town with begging bowls for food living like asethics. like derek and jill only no sex, no trying to convert people and carrying all possessions in a bag with you.  not really sure who invented the jesus get rich quick scheme

[Kentuckydaisy]

On 12/25/2018 at 1:42 PM, lookeyloo said:

Have a question - not Christian so don't know - is it possible that Jeremy is a preacher sometimes but serves some other function in the church, so that the preacher-ing was never intended to be a full time gig?  Also, what is the difference between a preacher, a pastor, a minister, etc.  I think I know what a priest is and how that is different, but, maybe not.

 

On 12/26/2018 at 11:33 AM, Fosca said:

I suspect the church didn't know he was going to do that when they hired him.  Or that his sermons would be so boring, I suspect particularly for those who have English as a second language.  

Was he the only none blue eyed, blond guy they could come up with.   it could be the best they could do. was it a wierd attemet to blend in more than sore thumbs jill and derrick in El Salvador.   I could totally see this.   not sure what they will accomplish,  I live in an area with a small latino popular compared to others, and church is fully in Spanish here at a lot of places.  good luck trying to convert people with your iffy Spanish skills when people have a church tied to their culture. not sure about anyone else, but we grew up with those fancy life size baby jesus dolls that people carry through the street during festivals. going to give up generations of stuff for the church jeremy.  yah.... 

[Ohiopirate02]

9 hours ago, fonfereksglen said:

Yet Jing and her daughter flew to Phili?  And stayed so long that that PastorJer didn't preach over the holidays.  So long they must have slept in a guest room somewhere other than Laredo. So I do not get your point.  

And my point is ..... consider just how carefully and completely JerJer controls their social media presence.   He is a Calvinist Svengali.  Don't  be fooled by the pretty clothes.

I highly doubt Jeremy and Jinger have any privacy at the TTH.  its chaotic and I can see them having problems with Felicitys nap schedule and if Jinger us breastfeeding where would she go.  I can see Chuck and the Mrs. having a much more peaceful home.  We also don't know if it is Jeremy who doesn't want to go to Arkansas or if it is Jinger.

[Fostersmom]

Without knowing either of them, I'd say Jinger is more than happy to NOT go to Arkansas all the time. She has a totally different life now, never seemed like she wanted to be the next Michelle, and while I'm sure she loves her family, at this point being around them is probably overwhelming and just plain too much. Jeremy honestly seems to live to make her happy so if she wanted to go home for Christmas, I don't see him saying a word about it. But if your choices were Jeremy's family, with his parents and 2 siblings, maybe their significant others, possibly a day or 2 with his extended family, or the mayhem of the TTH and the are you pregnant yet questions, the screaming hoard of kids, and the non stop guilt trip of we miss you, we wish you were closer, you should visit more, oh, and when are you having another one, (yeah, I know I already said that), going to Philly would be a no brainer. 

[Albanyguy]

20 minutes ago, Fostersmom said:

Without knowing either of them, I'd say Jinger is more than happy to NOT go to Arkansas all the time. She has a totally different life now, never seemed like she wanted to be the next Michelle, and while I'm sure she loves her family, at this point being around them is probably overwhelming and just plain too much. Jeremy honestly seems to live to make her happy so if she wanted to go home for Christmas, I don't see him saying a word about it. But if your choices were Jeremy's family, with his parents and 2 siblings, maybe their significant others, possibly a day or 2 with his extended family, or the mayhem of the TTH and the are you pregnant yet questions, the screaming hoard of kids, and the non stop guilt trip of we miss you, we wish you were closer, you should visit more, oh, and when are you having another one, (yeah, I know I already said that), going to Philly would be a no brainer. 

And it's also very possible that Jinger is getting more positive attention and unconditional affection from her mother-in-law than she ever got from Michelle. I honestly can't see this as "Jeremy is forcing Jinger to prioritize his family over hers", although I wouldn't be surprised if the Duggars saw it that way. 

Edited January 6, 2019 by Albanyguy

[BitterApple]

12 minutes ago, Fostersmom said:

Without knowing either of them, I'd say Jinger is more than happy to NOT go to Arkansas all the time. She has a totally different life now, never seemed like she wanted to be the next Michelle, and while I'm sure she loves her family, at this point being around them is probably overwhelming and just plain too much. 

I agree. Jeremy has his faults, but I don't see him as this controlling Svengali who's forbidding Jinger from seeing her family. She seems truly happy around the Vuolos. I'm not getting helpless hostage vibes in any of their pictures.

[Zahdii]

Sometimes people get along better with their family when they don't live in each other's pockets. 

Maybe Jinger doesn't like the noise and chaos of the TTH.  Everyone vying for attention, insisting on holding the baby so they can get their picture taken, the intrusive questions, etc.  With many large families, when people are visiting from out of town, the family visits in shifts and maybe there's one or two periods of time where they all get together as a bunch, but if you want a quality visit, you don't try to join a crowd of 30 and expect to get much out of it.  The Duggars seem to be incapable of backing off, they all want to act as a mob.

At Jinger's in-laws, she's the only new mom, Jeremy is the only new dad, and their baby is the absolute center of adoration and attention.  There's plenty of time to talk to everyone and hold the baby, so they're probably not grabbing the poor thing from her mothers arms just so they can make sure they've had their turn.  I bet even the presents are wrapped and not stuffed into a garbage bag with their name scrawled on it.

[Talky Tina]

On 1/2/2019 at 12:27 PM, DangerousMinds said:

Sure, “god” is kind to them, but what about all of those poor kids in camps and dying at the border? 

THANK YOU!!!!!   I was thinking the same damn thing.  Don't forget the babies dying of cancer. 

[Churchhoney]

2 hours ago, Zahdii said:

Sometimes people get along better with their family when they don't live in each other's pockets. 

Maybe Jinger doesn't like the noise and chaos of the TTH.  Everyone vying for attention, insisting on holding the baby so they can get their picture taken, the intrusive questions, etc.  With many large families, when people are visiting from out of town, the family visits in shifts and maybe there's one or two periods of time where they all get together as a bunch, but if you want a quality visit, you don't try to join a crowd of 30 and expect to get much out of it.  The Duggars seem to be incapable of backing off, they all want to act as a mob.

At Jinger's in-laws, she's the only new mom, Jeremy is the only new dad, and their baby is the absolute center of adoration and attention.  There's plenty of time to talk to everyone and hold the baby, so they're probably not grabbing the poor thing from her mothers arms just so they can make sure they've had their turn.  I bet even the presents are wrapped and not stuffed into a garbage bag with their name scrawled on it.

I think you've hit the nail on the head here.

I'm pretty sure the Duggars don't want to get much out of their visits with each other or even understand the concept. When your conversations and communications entirely consist of the same cliches you've thrown around for decades, you couldn't get much out of a meeting. There's nothing there to get. You've literally heard it all before, thousands of times. And will hear it thousands more times....down the decades.

I see that as sort of the flipside of their family-isolation thing. Because their beliefs and behavior patterns are the perfect ones that God's personally endorsed, they're all supposed to be in line with each other completely -- so they have nothing to exchange or share. And they promote that unanimity as a badge of honor that sets them apart from the rest of the evil world -- and won't mix with that world because the variety there might contaminate them. 

The boring sterility of it all makes me cringe. But as a large group there may seem to be so much going on that you wouldn't quite notice how sterile it all was. If they met in small groups, they might be more likely to notice how stultifying the whole system is. 

....That's partly why I think there's some hope for all the marrieds, though, as time goes on. The more time they spend with anybody but the Duggars the more they're likely to notice that life as a slime-mold family wasn't as great as they were told it was. 

ETA: Apologies to the fascinating slime molds, actually. But I do think the image fits.

Edited January 6, 2019 by Churchhoney

[Scarlett45]

@Zahdii and @Churchhoney Also, I think that people fail to realize humans have only so much emotional and mental bandwidth for conversation and intimacy. Of course some people have more bandwidth than others, within a group of 30 people, there are only going to be so many 1x1 conversations and intimate relationships.

While I don’t doubt Jinger cares for all her Duggar relatives, and she wouldn’t want harm to come to any of them (well maybe Josh), it’s just not likely she has a deep connection with all of them. In “typically sized families” it’s normal to have a favorite niece/nephew or grandchild just based on personality or shared interests. I can believe Jinger feels this way about Jessa, and Joe (the two next to her in birth order she spent a lot of time with), just like Jill is very close to her buddy team compared to all her other siblings. But if she’s at all introverted she prefers a much smaller and more intimate family gathering. 

 

I am very extroverted and grew up in a small nuclear family with a large extended family. I enjoy large parties and the noise and laughter that comes with visiting my extended family but if that noise was in my house I would DIE of frustration and want to go in my room and lock the door. Jinger might feel this way. 

[Christina87]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

@Zahdii and @Churchhoney Also, I think that people fail to realize humans have only so much emotional and mental bandwidth for conversation and intimacy. Of course some people have more bandwidth than others, within a group of 30 people, there are only going to be so many 1x1 conversations and intimate relationships.

While I don’t doubt Jinger cares for all her Duggar relatives, and she wouldn’t want harm to come to any of them (well maybe Josh), it’s just not likely she has a deep connection with all of them. In “typically sized families” it’s normal to have a favorite niece/nephew or grandchild just based on personality or shared interests. I can believe Jinger feels this way about Jessa, and Joe (the two next to her in birth order she spent a lot of time with), just like Jill is very close to her buddy team compared to all her other siblings. But if she’s at all introverted she prefers a much smaller and more intimate family gathering. 

 

I am very extroverted and grew up in a small nuclear family with a large extended family. I enjoy large parties and the noise and laughter that comes with visiting my extended family but if that noise was in my house I would DIE of frustration and want to go in my room and lock the door. Jinger might feel this way. 

I agree that Jinger is close to Jessa and Joe, and I think she would very much like a Jessa / Bin / Joe / Kendra Christmas. Unfortunately, there's no way to arrange that without hurting anyone's feelings.