S12.E11: Unbreak My Heart

[ElectricBoogaloo]

The evolution of April and Jackson's relationship is revealed through a series of flashbacks dating back to when they first met. Simultaneously, we follow the years-long progress of one of Jackson's patients.

 

Promo:

[sking24450]

Is giving Jackson the divorce the first thing April did for Jackson in that marriage?  

 

April suffered in this episode from not getting scenes to truly explain herself outside of her interaction with Jackson because she came off looking awful.  She really seems angry that he couldn't get over being left multiple times by his wife immediately after he lost his child.

 

Jesse Williams is truly a gorgeous man.

[Artymouse]

I called it that April would be pregnant! My cable kept cutting in and out for most of the episode, which was very frustrating, but I liked what I saw of the episode. I'll have to rewatch On Demand tomorrow to catch the bits that I missed.

Jesse Williams did a great job with the emotional stuff, I thought. He doesn't often get such weighty material, but I thought he really sold Jackson's turmoil and pain.

Had a hard time following the storyline with the patient, and with all of the weird time cuts and jumps and my cable glitches, I was a little afraid that Jackson was romantically involved, but thankfully, I guess that's not the case.

[KaveDweller]

I can't believe April didn't tell Jackson she was pregnant before signing the papers. I'm not saying they should stay married just because of a baby, but it's kind of important information.

 

This episode was kind of boring. I don't think we learned anything new in those flashbacks, so I don't know what the point of them was. If you are going to show us stuff we never saw at least have there be a reveal of something new.

[papillon rouge]

I cracked up at mere asking "who died?" While dancing. Cute scene.

[Daisy]

i hate episodes like this. like i don't really get what specifically i'm supposed to get. Like they were always apart? they always fought? 

 

April not telling Jackson she's pregnant is kind of shadypants. 

[sarkygal]

I thought Jesse and Sarah did a really good acting job. Maybe because their issues have been largely pushed aside for so long, this episode didn't have the emotional resonance it should have. I wish they'd done this at the beginning of the season. As a viewer, I moved on from being able to empathize with their pain so long ago. IMO, this could have been one of the more realistic story lines this show has had, but Shonda & co did the characters a disservice in the way tonight played out.

[venusnv80]

I thought Jackson would be out and be free of the consistent whiner...but nope. She didn't tell him about the baby because she wanted him to choose her and not just the baby. However, I bet they will get together again. 

[windsprints]

I can't believe April didn't tell Jackson she was pregnant before signing the papers.

 

 

Did she take the test before signing the papers for sure? Or after? I wished they didn't go the pregnancy route yet again; there's already so many kids we never see/hear about.

 

I thought it was pretty good. I like episodes like I Saw What I Saw and this where they tell the stories differently. I thought both Sarah Drew and Jess Williams were really good. April failing to fully understand how her leaving impacted Jackson and sincerely apologize to him was something I wanted to see. I was disappointed that it never happened.

 

 

 

[hoosiermom]

Wasn't that women that Jackson was doing plastic surgery the women they showed at the beginning marrying Jackson? Oops. Never mind.

Edited February 26, 2016 by hoosiermom

[RedheadZombie]

Wasn't that women that Jackson was doing plastic surgery the women they showed at the beginning marrying Jackson?

It was a fake out. He only walked her down the aisle.

[Greysaddict]

that was....interesting.  I don't want to hate it because Sarah and Jesse really knocked it out of the park.  I thought they both did phenomenal jobs acting and getting back into their characters at each point in time.  So big kudos to them.  And like I said before the episode it was nice to see something that wasn't related to Meredith/Amelia/Maggie/Penny.  

 

But, I thought the episode fell pretty flat.  It felt like it should have been an "extra" on the DVD set or something. While it sucks we missed a lot of this stuff in real-time, I don't feel like this episode showed us anything new or that we learned anything, but rather showed the things we should have been seeing all along, which just draws attention to the lack of focus lately.  I don't even feel like I watched an episode of Grey's.

 

I was hopeful for Japril in the begining, but I am really not looking forward more fighting when he finds out about the baby.  I know it hasn't happened yet so I shouldn't even judge, but it feels like the two of them are going to keep going round and round in a circle jerk for the rest of the season. 

[KaveDweller]

Did she take the test before signing the papers for sure? Or after? I wished they didn't go the pregnancy route yet again; there's already so many kids we never see/hear about.

 

I thought she told Arizona she took the test that morning, which would mean it was before.

[Greysaddict]

This episode was kind of boring. I don't think we learned anything new in those flashbacks, so I don't know what the point of them was. If you are going to show us stuff we never saw at least have there be a reveal of something new.

I totally agree with this!  Part of me is glad there was new no huge retcon type reveal but at the same time when the episode ended, I did not feel like we gained anything by watching this episode.  

Edited February 26, 2016 by Greysaddict

[Gladrags]

That was terribly unexciting, eh? Other than April's little bombshell, nothing much happened we didn't know about or figured out anyway.

 

I did love Arizona arriving with every type of liquor under the sun, though. That's my kind of friend. 

[redfish]

Had a hard time following the storyline with the patient, and with all of the weird time cuts and jumps and my cable glitches, I was a little afraid that Jackson was romantically involved, but thankfully, I guess that's not the case.

 

 

Me too. I was relieved that Jackson didn't end up with her because that would have been wrong to get involved with a patient after they went through such a traumatic ordeal. At least he has kept his ethics.

 

I'm also confused why April didn't tell him she was pregnant. Is it because she didn't want that to be the reason for Jackson not to sign the divorce paper? Is she waiting for some grand declaration? Because I don't think keeping secrets is going to win him over. But she also seemed to be in shock in general during the signing or maybe resigned like the fight was taken out of her. Maybe that's the problem between the two, they can't seem to communicate and meet in the middle without shouting or arguing over who is more hurt after their son's death. Probably it's for the best, there a lot of instances where they couldn't get past aspects of their identity that is different from the other. Although if he does find out, I wonder how ugly the custody issue will be?

Edited February 26, 2016 by redfish

[funnygirl]

I can't believe that April did not apologize, not once, for leaving. That's the one thing I was hoping for in this hour. However, I'm sure they'll be back together by the end of the season, especially now that April is pregnant. 

 

My favorite moment tonight, and maybe even all season, was the dancing. Just having all those characters together in one room, the energy was just right. The only person missing was Bailey. 

 

Jesse Williams is a beautiful man. 

 

Penny and Nathan were not missed at all. 

Edited February 26, 2016 by funnygirl

[Amelie06]

 

April failing to fully understand how her leaving impacted Jackson and sincerely apologize to him was something I wanted to see. I was disappointed that it never happened.

Yeah. This is my problem with her. Why can't she see and apologize for the damage that she did? I get that she healed herself and that may have been the only choice for her, but why can't she acknowledge that it came at Jackson's expense? I've found her stance on this issue to be so unreasonable that I've become disinterested in this story. I don't want Jackson with someone so myopic. He's too gorgeous to have to deal with this shit.

 

As to the structure of the episode...what the outtake hell did they just cobble together to make an episode? In Memento, you got a better understanding of the characters and their motivations with each flashback. In this episode you just got the same damn arguments and the clear implication that this atheist and religious person never should have gotten married. But this isn't new. They didn't seem to be all that compatible from the beginning.

[hoosiermom]

It was a fake out. He only walked her down the aisle.

. Didn't see the end when I posted. Oops thanks anyway Red. Edited February 26, 2016 by hoosiermom

[gator12]

I see Shonda took listen from Soap Operas

[Evie]

I'm not a Jackson and April fan, but I was willing to give the episode a chance. I thought the premise sounded interesting and Jackson and April are among the characters that have been short-changed. Unfortunately, I didn't like it at all.

I still kind of hate April. I was hoping for a realization of how Jackson felt grieving alone for a year, but nope, she feels justified because her pain was worse. The only new things I feel like I learned is that April is more selfish and tone deaf than I thought and she likes throw pillows and fortune cookies.

Japril were short-changed in the aftermath of Samuels death but the religion issue was thoroughly exhausted. I did not need to see previously unseen arguments about that.

I disliked the pregnancy reveal. It feels like a copout.

[choclatechip45]

Didn't Percy not know Jackson was an  Avery in the Harper Avery Episode? I'll chalk it up to Percy being a doofus and forgot.

[izabella]

I hated the rewiind flashback format.  I've been hoping they would get around to telling April and Jackson's story because I've long felt that was happening in the background and was so choppy with all the time jumps, but I thought this was a really screwed up, back-aswards way to do it.  It was so gimmicky, I kept losing track of what was happening and when, and it just made their history feel that much more disjointed.

 

And April's pregnant.  Of course.  

Edited February 26, 2016 by izabella

[craziness]

Chocolatechip45, I was going to ask much the same thing. I thought in the Harper Avery episode, that everyone learned he was related to HA, but in this episode April even asked if he was related to Catherine.

Also, how far along is April? I'd guess at least 2 months based on the 6 weeks of Mer's recovery, plus a couple weeks before when we were shown them in bed at the end of an episode.

[Amethyst]

I thought Jackson would be out and be free of the consistent whiner...but nope. She didn't tell him about the baby because she wanted him to choose her and not just the baby. However, I bet they will get together again. 

 

This.  I was like "Damn, so close."  The scene in the kitchen had me RME so hard.  I'm amazed April didn't knock stuff off the counter with the way she was flailing her arms around.  And it only got worse when she started chucking the fortune cookies.

[choclatechip45]

 

Chocolatechip45, I was going to ask much the same thing. I thought in the Harper Avery episode, that everyone learned he was related to HA, but in this episode April even asked if he was related to Catherine.

I remember in the season 8 episode April really liked Catherine and thought she was brilliant because she did some surgery at Mercy West.

[Madding crowd]

Between this show and American Crime last night, I think it is depressing TV week. I like April and Jackson, together or separate, but I did remember many of these scenes and didn't really need to see them again. I think April didn't tell him about the pregnancy, because who would want a man to just choose the baby and not the wife? They did a good job of showing that in many marriage situations, each person thinks they are right and they have a hard time trying to meet in the middle. 

 

I also was scared that Jackson was going to jump into a romance with the patient (wouldn't be the first time this show has gone there *Denny*) but glad that didn't happen. I hope they get back together, but I admit I can be sappy at some show relationships. 

[WhosThatGirl]

Ugh. Poor Jackson. Seriously April waked away. TWICE! Twice. It's exhausting she can't comprehend this information. I think if she really sincerely apologized for actions and realized what she did, Jackson wouldn't be so quick on the divorce trigger. But she can't see that she really hurt him and s doesn't think she did anything wrong because she healed herself. Ugh.

[izabella]

Ugh. Poor Jackson. Seriously April waked away. TWICE! Twice. It's exhausting she can't comprehend this information. I think if she really sincerely apologized for actions and realized what she did, Jackson wouldn't be so quick on the divorce trigger. But she can't see that she really hurt him and s doesn't think she did anything wrong because she healed herself. Ugh.

 

I don't get why she doesn't understand that he needed her there to grieve together, as a couple who lost their child, not just her child.  And that even though she needed to get away in order to survive, his instinct was to turn to her. 

 

She just keeps minimizing his feelings and telling him his viewpoint is unimportant because she's there now. 

[KellyInCanada]

Long time lurker here... Finally got the nerve to post.

 

Dare I say that I liked this episode?  Sarah and Jesse were amazing (and lord, I wish I had Sarah Drew's hair!)

 

Any hoo, did we actually see Jackson sign the divorce papers? I only saw April's signature. I was thinking that maybe he decided to NOT sign the papers after April left the office. He didn't actually say "no" when April asked him if this was what he really wanted, did he?

[preeya]

i hate episodes like this. like i don't really get what specifically i'm supposed to get. Like they were always apart? they always fought? 

 

April not telling Jackson she's pregnant is kind of shadypants. 

Me too. Absolutely hated it.

[Muffyn]

I can't believe April didn't tell Jackson she was pregnant before signing the papers. I'm not saying they should stay married just because of a baby, but it's kind of important information.

And right there is a reason they should not be together.  Even after everything they have gone through, it still doesn't occur to April to communicate.  I enjoyed the comment that they just keep having the same argument.  I believe we have all been complaining about that too.   Get divorced.  Stay divorced.  Move on.  

[Readalot]

Long time lurker here... Finally got the nerve to post.

Dare I say that I liked this episode? Sarah and Jesse were amazing (and lord, I wish I had Sarah Drew's hair!)

Any hoo, did we actually see Jackson sign the divorce papers? I only saw April's signature. I was thinking that maybe he decided to NOT sign the papers after April left the office. He didn't actually say "no" when April asked him if this was what he really wanted, did he?

I was thinking the same thing, everything! I can't wait to find out. Yes I'm a sap and hope they come together for the right reasons.

[LaughingOne]

Loved it, but probably because I think Sarah and Jesse's acting chemistry and character chemistry is so watchable. They're just such opposites that it makes them work on-screen. And yeah, April is dorky and annoying, but in a way that I actually appreciate in a sea of snarky, too cool characters.

I've been pretty #TeamJackson throughout this ordeal, but I appreciated April's POV more tonight. Oh and I think she was right not to tell him. She understands him well enough to know he would've stayed with her if he knew. And she knew he wanted out. It's the most unselfish she's been in months.

[walnutqueen]

This episode did nothing except cement my total indifference to April and Japril.   It was an epic fail for me.

[RealityCowgirl]

I don't get why she doesn't understand that he needed her there to grieve together, as a couple who lost their child, not just her child. And that even though she needed to get away in order to survive, his instinct was to turn to her.

She just keeps minimizing his feelings and telling him his viewpoint is unimportant because she's there now.

I've always liked the theory of the couple, if not the fundamental "reality" differences. Part of that reality is that she pretty much always gets (definitely expects to get) her way, even when they "compromise." Not getting, or discounting, his need to grieve together is the biggest sin in that pattern. She's done doing whatever, so he's expected to roll over.

They've not even been tested over time yet - e.g., had to raise a non-hypothetical child - and face their very real differences as a couple. (Not ignoring what unfolded tonight, but a sustained negotiation of differing world views where retreat isn't an option, like parenting children.)

Love the actors. Like the characters separately. But, yeah, as a couple, it's problematic.

Edited February 26, 2016 by RealityCowgirl

[pennben]

I always think that Grey's is better when they are all there (or given the size of the cast, lots are there).  This is the second "timeout" episode, that only features a few in a narrow storyline, in the three that have been back since the break  I like this show when it crackles and there is lots of movement and lots of interaction for everyone.  There is nothing wrong, per se, in slowing things down in an episode here or there, but I think they are missing the mark when it slows down for two of three episodes in a row. It also leaves us at risk for an Owen/Amelia centered episode that just might destroy me:)

 

Moving on, best hopes for next week!. 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

The only thing this episode did for me was cement my belief that April and Jackson should have gotten divorced long ago.

 

It has been how long since Samuel died? Two years? And since then, April has left Jackson twice and then refused to accept that her decision hurt him. Every time he has tried to tell her how he feels, she argued with him, as if his feelings aren't valid or real or true. Only HER feelings are real and only HER experience is what matters. She did what SHE needed to do without any regard with what HE needed. And as Jackson pointed out, he put her ahead of himself because that's what you do in a marriage, but April never did that for him.

 

In the scene where she said she refused to get a divorce because no one in her family had ever been divorced, I just rolled my eyes. Yeah, that's a great reason not to do something. I bet there was a point when no woman in her family had ever gone to college, had a job, or kept her last name, but that's no reason to keep doing either of those things.

 

Here's a hint, April - when you keep fighting about the exact same thing, something is wrong because whatever you are fighting about isn't getting fixed or resolved or addressed. For the record, I hate the idea that marriage is work. It's not when you are with the right person. Mr. EB and I have been together for a million years and I have never considered our relationship work (and I don't mean that in a medicated Stepford Wife "but I love doing laundry!" kind of way). There have been a handful of times when I was like ugh, I have to drive you to the airport at this ungodly hour, but that's the extent of it. A relationship should make you happy, not make you miserable. A relationship should not be constant fighting. And enjoying sex with the other person isn't a reason to stay together.

 

On top of that, you have to love the person exactly as they are. You can't love the person who you want them to be. You can't keep wishing for them to change. And despite April saying that she didn't expect Jackson to change, she wanted him to lead her family in prayer every time they visited each other FOREVER. To me, that's like saying you expect your vegan spouse to eat meat every time you see your family (and I say that as a carnivore).

 

I was so relieved that she FINALLY signed the damn divorce papers and now we're going to throw another baby into this mess? Gawd. Now we will never be free of the unending Jackson/April cycle.

 

 

 

It also leaves us at risk for an Owen/Amelia centered episode that just might destroy me:)

Shhhhhh! Don't let the overlords hear you! I don't think I could handle an entire episode of just Owen and Amelia.

Edited February 26, 2016 by ElectricBoogaloo

[aprilbabe]

Loved it, but probably because I think Sarah and Jesse's acting chemistry and character chemistry is so watchable. They're just such opposites that it makes them work on-screen. And yeah, April is dorky and annoying, but in a way that I actually appreciate in a sea of snarky, too cool characters.

I've been pretty #TeamJackson throughout this ordeal, but I appreciated April's POV more tonight. Oh and I think she was right not to tell him. She understands him well enough to know he would've stayed with her if he knew. And she knew he wanted out. It's the most unselfish she's been in months.

I agree him finding out about the baby would've have messed with his head. whether or not April was pregnant should be irrelevant in the divorce. She asked one last time if that what he wanted and it was. If the fact she is pregnant was gonna change that then he would've stayed with her for the wrong reasons. However there's no excuse for not telling him now.

[eeyore]

I am so flipping sick of unplanned pregnancy storylines I could scream. If April gets Jackson to get back together with her, I might finally quit this show. 

[RealityCowgirl]

I am so flipping sick of unplanned pregnancy storylines I could scream. If April gets Jackson to get back together with her, I might finally quit this show. 

 

A personal pet peeve, especially on shows about medical professionals who should know better. This one is particularly bad about that.

[Evie]

I am so flipping sick of unplanned pregnancy storylines I could scream. If April gets Jackson to get back together with her, I might finally quit this show.

I didn't think of the unplanned pregnancy angle. Ugh I hate it even more now and feel less sorry for Jackson. Use protection when having sex with your estranged wife.

[readster]

Yeah, April because no matter what, a simple: "I ran away from you so I could heal and it was wrong." Is too much to say or for the writers to acknowledge and look another unplanned baby. So, what life threatening situation will happen when it comes to the blessed event. Maybe there will be a fire and she goes into early labor, or I know, their is a tumor pressing on the baby and they have to remove it or lose them both. Oh, I know, Jackson will be in an accident when April goes into labor. Because no one can just have a baby, its not "good" drama. I get that April didn't want Jackson to stay because of the baby, but he should know. Grow up April!

Script writing 101 should include "don't take your most annoying couple and construct the entire hour around them."

No, Script writing 101 should be: Don't ruin characters to fit stupid plots, write smarter scripts!"

[craziness]

I did like some of the scenes worth Tatiana, especially her first timeliness scene where we found out that she was attacked on the day that the plane crashed. Now, to go go back and find out in one of the last days of her surgery, what they said about how long Jackson has been operating on her (4 years, but can't recall if they said months or days). I do recall 43 surgeries.

Also impressed that the hair and makeup people were able to keep hairstyles and Jackson's patchy beard straight with the timelines.

[DrLar]

It fell so "filler" episode, very few things we already know, maybe this was for GA's newcomers? they filled the gaps with the actual actor like he looks right now (fuller hair and beard)... doh?

[Apocalypse Cow]

Loved it, but probably because I think Sarah and Jesse's acting chemistry and character chemistry is so watchable. They're just such opposites that it makes them work on-screen. And yeah, April is dorky and annoying, but in a way that I actually appreciate in a sea of snarky, too cool characters.

I've been pretty #TeamJackson throughout this ordeal, but I appreciated April's POV more tonight. Oh and I think she was right not to tell him. She understands him well enough to know he would've stayed with her if he knew. And she knew he wanted out. It's the most unselfish she's been in months.

 

I agree with you on every point.  This episode made me understand April's POV more, and made me think that Jackson should have been more vocal in his pain over Samuel.  I get that he was trying to be strong for her, but it clearly wasn't what April needed.  I don't blame April for leaving.  I don't blame Jackson for being upset and not understanding. What I don't get is April's inability to see Jackson's side and Jackson's inability to see April's side.  Neither are budging.  And that's where the conflict lies, clearly.

 

I also think that April shouldn't have told Jackson at the divorce papers signing.  Get a real confirmation of the pregnancy, and then tell him. Yes, I know that home pregnancy tests are almost always correct. But why tell him when you are signing papers if you aren't absolutely sure? And besides, it's going to seem like a last ditch effort to get him back.  I thought it showed some damn dignity for her not to tell him and for her not to beg or cry or be crazy. Sign and leave.  Tell him when you get a blood test. I'm tired of her chasing him and fighting for the relationship at this point.  

[BaseOps]

I actually didn't mind this episode. With 24 episodes per season, I guess there is naturally going to be some filler type episodes - but after getting a ton of screentime around Samuel's illness last year, this story sort of just dropped (in terms of watching how it affected them.) But, yea, I'll take this type of bubble episode over some of the ones we got last year (the horrific 'Owen and Amelia talking a little girl through surgery over the phone'....) I'm not a big Jackson / April fan (especially April) but I thought the actors were both great here and the writing ranged from OK to good. I certainly didn't expect her to be knocked up (those GSM men have some super duper sperm.) This episode actually drilled home to me how incompatible I think they are: like some of you have said, when the same argument recurs for years and it isn't something trivial, you think they'd maybe catch on that it isn't working. But it seems to me that Shonda believes these two are destined, so I expect a reunion by the end of the year. I'd sort of love to see Jackson start moving on before he knows April is pregnant.....

 

 

I was thinking the same thing, everything! I can't wait to find out. Yes I'm a sap and hope they come together for the right reasons.

 

Sarah Drew confirmed in her EW interview today that Jackson had already signed the papers. 

 

 

 It also leaves us at risk for an Owen/Amelia centered episode that just might destroy me:)

 

Please God, no :( 

 

Amelia / Owen / Maggie have been given enough forefront that we don't need any centric episodes. But, yea, knowing the way the writers clearly seem to feel about them it may not be that far off. As much as I hate Penny, I'd rather a Callie / Penny centric episode to maybe explain what the hell Callie is supposed to see in her. Even a Bailey / Ben episode, considering they never have anything to do. I'm guessing episode 3 is the only Alex-centric episode we'll be getting this year, but I'm hoping now that this and the Meredith episode are out of the way we're clear of these type of episodes for a while and can start to focus on telling some long-running and interesting stories for every member of the cast. 

I agree with you on every point.  This episode made me understand April's POV more, and made me think that Jackson should have been more vocal in his pain over Samuel.  I get that he was trying to be strong for her, but it clearly wasn't what April needed.  I don't blame April for leaving.  I don't blame Jackson for being upset and not understanding. What I don't get is April's inability to see Jackson's side and Jackson's inability to see April's side.  Neither are budging.  And that's where the conflict lies, clearly.

 

The scene in the nursery where he asked her if she wanted to try again was, I though, particularly heart-breaking and despite being quick, gave a nice glimpse into both of their mindsets and how tough that entire processes was for them / how they coped. "Fine, I'll just go work." 

[St. Claire]

With all of April's talk of her needs for healing and such, I expected Jackson to respond to her asking "Do you really want this divorce?" to "No, but I need it." Through every fight, everything was all about what she needed for herself and she continued to ignore what Jackson needed in the healing from the death of their child (newsflash, April, both of you lost a son) and what he needed from their marriage.

[Artymouse]

It also leaves us at risk for an Owen/Amelia centered episode that just might destroy me:)

 

 

The only thing worse would be a Penny-centric episode with Amelia as her new best friend. 

 

I like Jackson very much as a character, and what I always enjoyed about his relationship with April was how he really did fall for her, despite what any sane person would have expected. In those early days, when they started hooking up, I thought it was just a fling for him, and it was interesting to see him come to the realization that he was in love with her.

 

And I do like April, but she has a history of just steamrolling Jackson's feelings, from the very beginning when she was so guilt-ridden about their hookups that she went on and on about how bad it was that she was going against her beliefs. Never stopping to think how this would make Jackson feel.

 

So it's frustrating, but not ultimately surprising, that she minimized Jackson's grief, his need for her support, and how he tried so hard to be supportive for her. To me, that whole scenario of him trying to explain his feelings and rationale and her behaving as if hers was the only grief that mattered, is probably an indication that they shouldn't be together. And it's a bummer that Shonda and co. had to give them a storyline like this and destroy them as a couple. When, as others have said, there was so much rich material that could have been explored in the religious dynamic between them and the family conflicts as he's a board member and she's not, etc.

[dshgr]

Had to come out of lurkdom to say:

 

This mirrors my experience with every "christian" I have ever known.  They all think "I am more important than you because I am a believer.  You and your opinions do not matter.  I can do whatever I want because I go to church.  I will never apologize when I have done something wrong."