S13.E11: Hammer Time

[Tara Ariano]

In Oakland, Calif., the chefs cook for rapper MC Hammer, who will judge the dishes; master chef Jonathan Waxman asks the chefs to step into a culinary time machine and prepare dishes inspired by significant international food eras.

[Bastet]

Aw, I’m bummed about Karen.  She was my last pick of the three, because I figured she had a tasty dish that didn’t fit the challenge.  I thought it was going to be Marjorie, which would have bummed me out even more.  So, yay?  I like the food (to the extent I can evaluate it through my TV) of all the remaining chefs, so I’ll be a little sad for each of them to go.

 

Carl rapping has just surpassed anything Philip did as the most delusional moment of the season.

 

It was interesting to learn Marjorie is from Ukiah, as I have spent the entire season marveling at how she sounds just like a friend of mine – who is from Redwood Valley (pretty much next door to Ukiah).

Edited February 19, 2016 by Bastet

[avecsans]

I had massive second hand embarrassment for the chefs when they had to pick rap names. Hammer? Really?

Jonathan Waxman seems like such a great guy. That is the kind of guest judge I like instead of washed up rappers.

I thought Jeremy should have gone instead of Karen because his dish was too refined. They seemed to like Karen's noodles so I was surprised at the outcome.

[Maysie]

I was surprised Jeremy got a pass, but I can't put my finger on why, other than they all kept saying they wished they'd had some actual crab on their dish. It sounded like he totally missed what they were expecting in execution. There was no surprise Amar won (and it looked delicious!) - I don't know how he pulled all that together in three hours. It was nice to not have the obligatory shopping excursion to Whole Foods. And seeing what the kitchen was already stocked with surely gave them some idea of what the judges were expecting. I mean, Isaac had wooden plates to choose from, so that must have been a bit of a guide.

 

When Kwame rapped during the quickfire I realized how much I do not want him to go home. There's something very endearing about him to me.

[Wings]

[snip[

Jonathan Waxman seems like such a great guy. 

I thought Jeremy should have gone instead of Karen because his dish was too refined. They seemed to like Karen's noodles so I was surprised at the outcome.

 

 

I am sorry it was Karen; I like her.   Well, I like everyone.  I agree, I thought Jeremy was a goner for the same reason.  Food was not that refined and precious even 50 years ago.   I do get it that Karen wanted Beijing, didn't get it, but did it anyway!  She could not restrain herself.  Cute.  

[Julia]

I love Jonathan Waxman. I subscribed to Panna because he was there.

Also, I thought the cultural appropriation challenge was squicky. That said, when I heard fried brains, I thought "MC Escher."

[The Solution]

Loved it when Padma kissed Kwame! Lucky guy! I don't believe she's ever done that before.

 

I really wish Jeremy would have gone home because of course he's thatguy who can't help his deep-seated need to enthrall a restaurant full of people with his mad drum skillz. Tool.

[bitchin camaro]

I loved this episode - I think they did well across the board and I'm glad I wasn't the one to have to send someone home.

 

My rapper name would be DJ Flippity-Flop, and I'd make pancakes. (I've never made a pancake in my life, but it's probably easier than using a pressure cooker for the first time like more than one cheftestant has done.)

 

Amar is freaking adorable. I'm still Team Isaac (Go Vikings!), but Amar's got some serious skills that I hadn't noticed before. I really thought Marjorie was the goner, and then Jeremy. Marjorie had something actually wrong with her dish, while the other two just got the era a little wrong. It's bizarre but it is what it is.

[ProudMary]

It seems to me that for the second week in a row, Jeremy got a pass.  Of those in the bottom three from how it had been edited to that point, I thought sure that Karen was the safe one and that it would be between Marjorie and Jeremy to be sent packing.  Surprising that Karen was the chef eliminated.  Of all the dishes that have been presented this season, Amar's was the one I really wish I could have tasted.  That looked amazing.  I was pleased that he won the challenge.  Also pleased to see Kwame back with the top dogs instead of at the bottom.  

[forum4idiots]

mmmm, mmm, mmmm... lots of good looking guest judges on tonight.  and jeremy playing the drums.........

 

correction, just the two judges on both ends of the table were good looking......lol.  to bad they didn't get too much dialogue and face time.

 

oh geesh, french food with the big fatty flavor won....big surprise.

 

i thought it was hilarious that kwame tried to give tom the uncooked duck, lol.  i was thinking, did he really offer that to tom after the fact?  big no no, to knowingly serve raw food/poultry to not just the judge, but anyone....unless it's sushi/sashimi, lol.

Edited February 19, 2016 by lovebug1975

[SnideAsides]

MC Hammer seemed even more out of place than that time Isaac Misrahi judged a quickfire. I guess their "make a vanilla dish for Vanilla Ice" plan must have fallen through.

[biakbiak]

I used to work in the Bentley Reserve building, the main library is the closest library to my apartment so I go there frequently and one of my best friends lives at Jack London Square, so the locations pleased me.

[Wings]

Yeah, the judges for the quick fire have been questionable and if I were a cheftant I would be very disappointed if someone not in the food industry or a known foodie was responsible if I got immunity or not.  Maybe Padma drives that train more than we know.  Perhaps they just like to have a name in place for the PR aspect.  I want to believe that.  

 

My son is a corporate pilot.  That translates to celebs, sports figures and of course rich business people.  They treat  pilots like peers.  They are responsible for their lives and respected as they should be.  The bigger the star the nicer it seems they are.  Kurt Russell, Goldie, Reese, Martin Short, Billy Crystal, Michael Keaton, Robert Duval to name a few, off the top of my head, are friendly witty and a delight to fly.  

 

My son has given me a gag order to never mention his name, company or "bad" celebs.  So I cannot give any names but 2 of them rhyme with John Legend and Crissy Teigan.  I am going to hell.  

Edited February 19, 2016 by wings707

[forum4idiots]

not liking the seemingly obligatory "homage" by the other cheftestants to the ousted chef.  so awkward and fake, from an already mostly fake reality show.  anyways, here's my homage to phillip....did you get your culinary experience from online schools or youtube?...like how bloggers and twitter posters now consider themselves journalists?

 

oh jeremy.."spicy j-rock 305".....you are hot as fuck but honey, bless your heart,, sugar......lol.

 

soigne ploosh as a rapper name?  sure, if you're a drag queen rapper........hey, jason.  you might want to steal that one if you decide to go into the lucrative music of gay rapping.

Edited February 19, 2016 by lovebug1975

[forum4idiots]

I used to work in the Bentley Reserve building, the main library is the closest library to my apartment so I go there frequently and one of my best friends lives at Jack London Square, so the locations pleased me.

love jack london square when i stayed at the hotel there when glen hansard played at the fox theatre a couple of years ago.  if only the water was clean, that place would be even more incredible.

Edited February 19, 2016 by lovebug1975

[bunnywithanaxe]

OK, Jeremy's rap for Hammer was pretty lame, but Hammer responding by intoning "The layers are unfolding" pretty much evened things out.

[forum4idiots]

OK, Jeremy's rap for Hammer was pretty lame, but Hammer responding by intoning "The layers are unfolding" pretty much evened things out.

oh hell, no.  that is not my baby jeremy, lol.  that is carl with a drag queen rapper name, "soigne ploosh".

 

padma....what the hell is with trying to get kwame to rap?  is it because he's black? lmao.

 

karen's quickfire, though it was one of the faves, looked like vomit....literally.

Edited February 19, 2016 by lovebug1975

[biakbiak]

padma....what the hell is with trying to get kwame to rap? is it because he's black? lmao.

I think it's because producers knew he used to perform as a rapper. It all worked out for him if he doesn't win, he will always remember the kiss from Padma.

[Quilt Fairy]

Even though Karen picked last, she didn't have to go with Japan. There looked to be at least 3 or 4 other flags in the globe including French Revolution and Italian Renaissance.

[bunnywithanaxe]

Also, if they wanted to treat the audience to the full Oakland experience, they should have shown the van getting totally lost in the 880 Maze.

[forum4idiots]

let's play a game....let's guess what the contestants will cook next week:

 

jeremy, something crudo.

 

marjorie......something that again, she hasn't made in such a long time but will attempt again, or bake something.

 

amar.....something that reminds him of his ex gf, again.

 

isaac...something "new orleans".....again.....

 

carl...don't know.

 

kwame....don't know.

[RCharter]

This was such a beautiful episode, just visually beautiful.  The dishware was gorgeous, the food was beautiful, the library was pretty, it was nice outside, the place they ate at was stunning.  This episode makes me want to visit San Fran again!

 

I had no idea women's studies was a major for lesbian hook ups....I learned something new.

 

I don't want to jinx it, but I sure hope Kwame is getting his groove back!  Sweet that Padma gave him a kiss, he probably hasn't washed that cheek since it happened.  Happy to see Issac doing great too.  It must have been difficult to judge the authenticity of Viking food, since I haven't heard of many places that would serve that cuisine.  Its cool to see Tom laugh with Issac :)

[RCharter]

Yeah, the judges for the quick fire have been questionable and if I were a cheftant I would be very disappointed if someone not in the food industry or a known foodie was responsible if I got immunity or not.  Maybe Padma drives that train more than we know.  Perhaps they just like to have a name in place for the PR aspect.  I want to believe that.  

 

I thought about that a few seasons ago, but it was more about how a non-foodie could actually have a say in a person going home.  I think it was when the guest judges were people like Lea Michele, and then Charlize Theron (who was actually pretty cool), and Natalie Portman.  It seemed to me that it would suck to lose immunity to someone who may not understand how different food should taste, but it would be 10x worse to potentially go home for it.  But like you said, I suspect the other judges have more input when the judge is not from the world of food.

 

For my money, I'm always happy to see Hammer.  I think he got a bad rap (pun intended!) in his day, and wasn't given the respect he deserved.  He was branded a sell out back then, but now rappers and hip hop artists put their name on, and endorse just about anything so it was unfair.

[Major Bigtime]

I guess their "make a vanilla dish for Vanilla Ice" plan must have fallen through.

I'll be laughing about this all day, thanks!

[biakbiak]

I had no idea women's studies was a major for lesbian hook ups....I learned something new.

To be fair it was also a good major for straight dudes to hook up.

[Pepper Mostly]

I was pretty mad about Karen being axed. Her food was good, but the judges didn't think it was "Japanese" enough--that was worse than Marjorie's inedible parathas or Jeremy's non-chowdery chowder? Bullshit.

 

That moment when Padma asked Kwame to rap was so. freaking. awkward. Carl asked if he could and was so good humored and self deprecating it was charming. Kwame just had me cringing with embarrassment for him.

 

Great outing for everyone, though. Karen made me laugh with her "queer lady" confessional and Isaac was mightily amusing with his enjoyment of interpreting Viking food. The library scene was really refreshing, nice to see people given the opportunity to do a little background research and NOT have to race through Whole Foods.

[Julia]

I think I would have made inside-out arancini - sort of like scotch eggs stuffed with rice instead - and called myself MC Escher.

[candall]

Thought the first challenge was sub-par and the second was way above.  How interesting!  And with some research time for a real shot at authenticity:  kudos.

 

But re authenticity, I felt bad for the chef who was dinged for serving "medium-rare" when "shoe leather" would have been the order of the day.  It seems more likely he would have gotten forty lashes if he'd served grey, well-done meat to the judges.  Maybe he could have made Tom laugh and forgive if he'd taken a page from Isaac's book and said, "The dish is from back then, but the palates are from today."

 

I'm very fond of Jonathan Waxman and it's a shame the chowder wasn't made exactly the way he would have made it himself, but get over it.  This chef didn't want the clams in his CLAM CHOWDER overshadowed by big chunks of juicy crabmeat.  You'd have thought he elected to omit the clams.

 

Agree the rich French dish was a ringer, but damn, that looked delicious.

[AriAu]

I enjoy it when it comes down to a decision among the "least good" among the dishes, although I feel bad for Karen and, other than not really following the challenge, seems like she made better tasting food than Marjorie and Jeremy. I am surprised Marjorie did not just dump the bread once the ghee kept burning on her.

 

I admire that many of the chefs have figured out how to win at this game-make good food that they are comfortable with and fit it into the challenge. Isaac is the perfect example of that, although he is going to have trouble if/when he has to step out of his Cajun and meat centric comfort zone. Karen stuck with her sweet spot and I think that it ultimately got her sent home.

 

Now that Philip is gone, it seems like this group seems to genuinely enjoy each other more than past groups....or maybe just edited that way.

 

Yeah, the judges for the quick fire have been questionable and if I were a cheftant I would be very disappointed if someone not in the food industry or a known foodie was responsible if I got immunity or not.  Maybe Padma drives that train more than we know.  Perhaps they just like to have a name in place for the PR aspect.  I want to believe that.

 

While they give Padma producer credit these days, there is no way she has anything to do with what we see on the screen. The guest judges are determined by the Dancing Elves in cooperation with Bravo and whatever show/topic/agenda they are trying to push or that they believe will drive ratings....neither of which seem to be topics on Padma's radar.

[Maysie]

 

Loved it when Padma kissed Kwame! Lucky guy! I don't believe she's ever done that before.

 

I didn't know what to think of it, but I loved his reaction. I get the vibe that just about everyone who encounters Kwame likes him. It may all be in the editing, but he's coming across as that rare guy who has a sense of humor about himself and life, though he takes his work seriously without being a dick about it. Perhaps I'm seeing what I want to see, but it feels like just about everyone on the show - including the judges - like Kwame and seem to feel almost brotherly/sisterly towards him. As for the rapping, I would have allowed myself to be offended if we hadn't had Kwame's talking head about his rapping past. I'm sure Padma knew that and I give her a pass on that.

 

 

I am surprised Marjorie did not just dump the bread once the ghee kept burning on her.

 

Yeah, that surprised me too. She knew it wasn't right and with Padma in the mix, it was a foolish risk to take, particularly since it was an aside to the rest of the dish.

 

 

I admire that many of the chefs have figured out how to win at this game-make good food that they are comfortable with and fit it into the challenge. Isaac is the perfect example of that, although he is going to have trouble if/when he has to step out of his Cajun and meat centric comfort zone.

 

I agree with the meat-centric thing. His restaurant is "Toup's Meatery" for heaven's sake! I worry less about the Cajun thing; he didn't do anything to Cajun up his venison and I was kind of worried about the risk he was taking because it sounded like he was kind of guessing about how to season the venison since the Vikings didn't use much in the way of spices, etc. I think his bigger risk would be a vegetarian challenge. Perhaps his training and years working for Emeril will kick in there if it ever comes up.

 

 

I really wish Jeremy would have gone home because of course he's thatguy who can't help his deep-seated need to enthrall a restaurant full of people with his mad drum skillz. Tool.

 

Yeah, that was weird. Jeremy definitely put off the "that guy" aura to me this episode. The drums and surfing class (that's what he said in the library, right? Credit for surfing?) showed a new side to him that I take is kind of a "forever young dude" thing he's got going on. Not that it's a bad thing, but it just surprised me a bit.

 

 

I'm very fond of Jonathan Waxman and it's a shame the chowder wasn't made exactly the way he would have made it himself, but get over it.  This chef didn't want the clams in his CLAM CHOWDER overshadowed by big chunks of juicy crabmeat.  You'd have thought he elected to omit the clams.

 

Did Jeremy discuss clams in the chowder? I wasn't sure he was making actual clam chowder. I know he put a big lump of fish in there (can't remember what kind). I have to agree with the judges, based on the shot of the dish, there was nothing in that bowl that screamed chowder to me. It appeared to be various types of seafood and bits with a big dose of sauce ladled over it.

[Jesse]

The thing that gives me comfort about Karen is the talking head clearly recorded way after the fact -- her haircolor is refreshed and she has a different style. So I'm hoping she makes it out of LCK, and that's not just from being a sous chef for the finale. 

[carrps]

Re: the surfing class. I assumed it was just a PE elective. I don't see it as much different than any other non-mainstream athletic activity.

 

And now Isaac has included an ax in his repertoire of destruction. It's really off-putting to me that he always goes with such violent metaphors. Keeps me from really liking him.

 

I thought Jeremy should have gone instead of Karen because his dish was too refined. They seemed to like Karen's noodles so I was surprised at the outcome.

 

My feelings exactly. Karen just misjudged her era/region; Jeremy made an unappealing dish.

 

Also, if they wanted to treat the audience to the full Oakland experience, they should have shown the van getting totally lost in the 880 Maze.

Heh. I had a friend in San Rafael that I used to visit a lot. I always had to get the "80" freeways straight every single dang time I drove or flew (into Oakland airport) up there. And I still got lost occasionally in those pre-GPS days. I even ended up on the Carquinez Bridge once (but I think that was trying to get to Vallejo from San Rafael). And don't ask me about the time I tried to get to a friend's house in Castro Valley, and it was getting dark, and I could not find the right connection. It was like trying to get to Narnia or something.

[Jobiska]

Re: the surfing class. I assumed it was just a PE elective. I don't see it as much different than any other non-mainstream athletic activity.

 

Yeah, my four PE requirements, excuse me, they are now called wellness requirements (my son goes to my alma mater), were English Country Dancing, Folk Dancing, Morris Dancing, and Sailing (in Indiana).  Strangely, no surfing.

I thought Jeremy not being able to keep his eyes off an unused drum set was quite endearing.  That would be my son with a piano.  In fact, I'm neutral on Jeremy (pretty good cook, but they all are by now, and I don't have the same reaction to his looks as some folks here do), and this warmed me to him.  I did think his misread on the dish was worse than Karen's, since her research showed that China was beginning to influence Japan at the time.  

To be fair to Carl, he only thought of Soigne Ploosh, but then even he realized it was too over the top.  I forget what he picked--something with Funky in it?

[Lovecat]

Am I the only one who already has a rap name?  College friends dubbed me Rappin' Nay Kool, not because I, you know, spit mad beats, but because I'm a dorky white girl who loved to sing along with LL Cool J and The Fresh Prince (clearly, I am now an OLD dorky white girl).  This challenge was my JAM.  I would have made ice cream :)

[Tarasme]

I, too, thought it was Jeremy's night for PYKaG. While I had previously ignored his jerk factor because of the pretty, I can no longer delude myself that he's a nice guy and, it seems, an amazing chef. *sigh*

 

I love Issac! Let him be cajun guy with a shot of destructive testosterone forever and ever. LOVE him, his humility (to paraphrase, there's a lot of things on that dish that the Vikings didn't do... he's awesome) and his sense of camaraderie. And YAY for him to win the QF and deliver the goods in the EC.

 

And, while Issac's nod to his inner crazed maniac doesn't bother me, Marjorie's constant punch assaults do. For me, her competence in the kitchen is being overshadowed by the 11 yr old tomboy hazing she's giving her fellow contestants. And it's unnerving for me when another woman on the show reveals 50% more cleavage than Padma. YMMV.

 

Carl... I think I'm ready for him to go.

 

I hope Amar showed some initiative and sent flowers, chocolates, earrings, etc. to accompany his earnest plea to his ex. Go get her Amar and bring yummy French food. Wait... that *was* this week, right?

 

As sad as I am to see Karen go, doggone that was a classy exit. Good for her and I hope we see more of her.

 

I like Kwame fine, but his professional immaturity is beginning, for me, to be what I remember about him rather than his success at the start of the season. Maybe it's the editing and the cuts they're using of his THs.

 

I have nothing to say about MC Hammer and the rappin' Quickfire.

Edited February 19, 2016 by Tarasme

[AriAu]

I have nothing to say about MC Hammer and the rappin' Quickfire.

 

I have one thing to say-I call bull shit on them coming up the name, the idea for the dish to tie to the name and then THE DISH in 30 minutes, especially when they did not know the proteins available.

[Primetimer]

MC Hammer judges the chefs' cooking and rapping, and the chefs draw inspiration from the past.

Read the story

[Dr Epi]

I was convinced, with the editing, that Marjorie was going to go.  Everything screamed Marjorie from the beginning with the picture of her and her parents at the soup kitchen, to the only cheftestant getting a critique of their quick fire as the judges were actually tasting her food.

 

I am hoping that they are just setting her up for a redemption arc. Otherwise I will be gutted to see her on a downward trajectory.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Did anyone miss Man Bun? Anyone? Bueller?

Unfortunately it looks like he returns as a not-so-helpful helper.

I have had enough of that presumptuous, clueless jerk to last a lifetime.

[PepperMonkey]

Unpopular opinion time: How in the deepest hell of all hells is Jeremy still there?

 

No, I didn't miss Phillip at all.

 

Jeremy should have packed his knives and drumsticks and go'ed instead of Karen. I was just starting to warm to her and I've been cooling on him for weeks, now.

 

It was good to see Kwame at the top again. I hope he can keep it up.

[chiaros]

Various folks have posted about Karen vs Jeremy.

 

I agree that Karen had the better dish. I ALSO think that the TC judges, as they have shown throughout the many seasons, can be shaky when they judge food that is beyond the usual USAmerican stuff, and even Lakshmi's opinions have to do with a specific notion of her idea about what she thinks of as "Indian" cuisine.  Colicchio, IMO, is not cognizant of really much else beyond American-Italian cuisine; he just likes to think he does.

 

The Chinese-influence-moving-into-Japanese makes perfect sense to me, and I make a lot of various regional Chinese (a lot of Cantonese, especially) as well as sort-of Japanese (Kanto vs Kansai regionalities included, amongst other things) food.  Lakshmi's opinion does not count for me, and even Simmon's opinion I find suspect, in this regard.

[locomoco]

i thought it was hilarious that kwame tried to give tom the uncooked duck, lol.  i was thinking, did he really offer that to tom after the fact?  big no no, to knowingly serve raw food/poultry to not just the judge, but anyone....unless it's sushi/sashimi, lol.

He offered to slice some of the surface meat (that was cooked enough) to sample

[Special K]

While I thought the concept of the challenge was really fun, I wonder who decided on the various culinary "eras" they had to choose from.  It would have been so much better if each one had been somewhat cohesive and distinct, which of course Parisian Belle Epoque certainly is.  I mean the Han dynasty was like four centuries long!  Didn't someone have that?  OTOH, what could be more contained that the California Gold Rush?  Wasn't that less than 10 years long?!  Just goes to show how uneven the challenge was.

 

Seems like poor planning on production's part -- or at least not fair to judge the chefs on historical accuracy.

 

Gotta give it up to Isaac though.  Who the hell knows what Vikings ate?!

Edited February 19, 2016 by Special K

[Bastet]

I cracked up when Kwame said, "I understood [Philip]," and either Marjorie or Karen replied, "I didn't."

[carrps]

I cracked up when Kwame said, "I understood [Philip]," and either Marjorie or Karen replied, "I didn't."

Marjorie. I cracked up, too.

[FineWashables]

I thought Jeremy's drumming was as excruciating as Craig's rapping.  Why are they choosing guest judges who have no connection at all to food?  It's not like he's a hot current celebrity who would bring in viewers.  Weird choices.

 

Speaking of weird choices: they like Karen's dish but it's not authentic to the challenge.  They dislike Jeremy's dish and it's not authentic to the challenge.  So the loser is... Jeremy????

[LuciaMia]

Was this the very first time they've had this kind of challenge? Probably cause I love the history of food, I thought it was really interesting and wished they'd spent more time on it.

And Phillip was just as irritating on LCK.

[AriAu]

Was this the very first time they've had this kind of challenge? Probably cause I love the history of food, I thought it was really interesting and wished they'd spent more time on it.

 

Made me think of the restaurant in Chicago called "Next" where the menu (tasting only) changes every 4 months to a different place and period of time-opening menu was Paris at the time of Escoffier, followed by Thailand in the middle of 20th century etc...

Of course Grant Achatz, Dave Beran and their crew from Alinea so maybe a cut above these guys.

I did like the idea for the challenge and the fact they had to, I don't know, read, something that I am not sure all Cheftestants could actually do.

[AnnieBananie]

I'm a librarian, so I was way more excited than I should have been about the whole library part, noting the tables, the lamps, the outlets, and the natural lighting of the building... did anything happen in the rest of the episode?

 

In all seriousness, I'm concerned about Marjorie's recent performance - she's shown she can do better than this.

 

Ready for Carl and Jeremy to go.

Edited February 19, 2016 by AnnieBananie

[hendersonrocks]

Ditto the library love aspect of it - I thought this was a great challenge that set clear parameters but really let the chefs run with it.

 

I for sure thought Jeremy was gone, since it didn't sound like there was anything wrong with Karen's other than her misfire on China v. Japan. On Last Chance Kitchen, though (no spoilers), there was a clip from the judges conversation that made it sound like her soup broth maybe didn't taste all that great. If Jeremy's chowder was okay other than the lack of crab/substance, I can see that beating out a soup from the wrong country that also didn't taste super.