S03.E10: Celebrations

[seasick]

 

Sam is a fake. Hate hate hate her. Neil just seems like a beaten dog that still tries to get affection from his master. I think Sam wants to extend her 15 minutes so she will pretend (or her and neil made a deal) that they have decided to work on their marriage. No way in hell is she into him. Interesting that she has no friends and her roommate even acts like she has to walk on eggshells around her.

 

 

ITA except I can't see Neil being in on a 'deal' to get over and hopefully get more play. On the other hand, there is that "Stockholm Syndrome"....  

[Liberty]

It looks like Jamie Otis has been putting the make-up on Posers Levkoff, Schwartz and Cilona.

[Jack Sampson]

It looks like Jamie Otis has been putting the make-up on Posers Levkoff, Schwartz and Cilona.

I don't follow, you mean in the literal sense?

[Evil Queen]

Regarding Vanessa not being friends with men. What she says is, guys who started off as friends eventually asked her out or profess their love or something - and it was always considered weird or a turnoff and they were never friends again. For Vanessa, there's no such thing as being friends first, then having it develop into something else.

 

I wonder with those that claim this what it was like during their years in school. I had more guy friends during those years then I did girl ones. The girls ended up turning nasty and backstabbing while I never had to worry about that with guys. I had a few that at one point or another claimed to have feelings they knew we were friends and nothing more. They always respected that and we never had issues being friends. I think for me a lot of why I got along with them so much was also the fact that we could talk about football (GO BRONCOS!) and hockey. I have one friend that I have known since 7th grade that is my best friend but that is a girl. She is the only one that never acted the way many did. Its probably because we are so much the same. At this point we are family to each other with how long its been that we have known each other. I lost touch with all the guy friends I had from back then. I know one got in touch with me years ago and we lost touch for awhile. Which he just emailed me a few weeks ago too. He was just always a friend. I've known him since junior high. He knows I'm married with a family. He is also one of the guys that never wanted more from me then friendship in all those years back then too. I tried to be friends with one ex and it didn't work because at some point he wanted more and I didn't want him at all. I had found out he lied about why he broke up with me on our 2nd try together and the reasoning for me was worrisome to ever bother again. I had cut ties with him at that point because he wasn't going to stop trying. That was when I was still single. I do think that guys and girls can be friends though without the hassle of other things. I just think it has to do with the type of people they are. Its not something for everyone or that everyone can handle. Which in those cases it just shouldn't be and for those that can be good for you all. 

[Liberty]

I don't follow, you mean in the literal sense?

 

No, I'm certain they hire 'perfessionals' to put on the poser's make-up rather than Jamie.  The coincidence was the make-up on Posers Schwartz and Levkoff looked just as amateurish as Jamie's, (except the poser's eyelashes looked 100X better.)

Edited February 3, 2016 by Liberty

[qtpye]

No, I'm certain they hire 'perfessionals' to put on the poser's make-up rather than Jamie.  The coincidence was the make-up on Posers Schwartz and Levkoff looked just as bad as Jamie's, except the posers eyelashes looked 100X better.

 

 

I am going to reference an old classic episode of the Simpsons.

 

"Maybe someone set the make up gun to whore?"

Edited February 3, 2016 by qtpye

[Jack Sampson]

No, I'm certain they hire 'perfessionals' to put on the poser's make-up rather than Jamie.  The coincidence was the make-up on Posers Schwartz and Levkoff looked just as amateurish as Jamie's, (except the posers eyelashes looked 100X better.)

I noticed Logan is getting smoker's lines around her mouth (at 39, she must chain smoke), pro-makeup should keep that covered for a 30 second TH.

[Waterlilly]

The thing about having friends of the opposite sex when you are single depends on a lot of factors, but for most (some?) those friendships change after one or both get married. Like it or not, it changes and not necessarily in a bad way, just different. I don't think I would have had my friend at this get together this early in a relationship knowing that my spouse had some issues. Maybe wait a little and talk a lot about it first.

[seasick]

I will say I thought Jamie looked Horrible!!  She looked at least 10 years older.  Hate the blonde hair and those broom-bristles stuck on her eyes!!  Jamie is a very pretty girl naturally.  I cannot believe what she did to herself.   The green school-marm sweater didn't help, despite whatever the heck she was wearing on her legs.

[Gator Stud]

Even though I wish Vanessa seriously grow up and stop reading all those romance novels and watching all those stupid rom coms, I do get her. I don’t think the experts are all that intelligent, maybe they should have had a black expert there too. 

 

Someone on this board said that black women have the same dating opportunities that black men have, I disagree.  Why?  Well, there is a beauty standard in this country, slim, large breasts, straight hair.  The closer you are to that ideal, the better your chances are with men. Like how David gushes over how beautiful Ashley is, physically she has a lot of the stuff considered beautiful, long straight hair, a slim figure.  There is a reason so many black women straighten their hair and wear waves, it’s considered more acceptable.  I even remember some OK Cupid study which showed that black women, even though they emailed men first, got the least responses from men, and I have to say with online dating, I’ll read the types of women, men want to be with and they’ll say every race/nationality, BUT a black woman. 

 

So on top of this, here comes Tres’ friend.  I couldn’t tell is she was white or mixed or what, but she is closer to the standard of beauty that is considered acceptable in the US.  Vanessa felt threatened because she wonders if Tres would leave her for someone who looked like his friend. 

I am the one who wrote that black men have the same amount of choices as black women. I do agree with you that society has different standards of beauty for black women and that sometimes makes it very hard. Especially when it comes to hair. I'm not that much into weaves but many of my friends have them. I would prefer the relaxed look or the total natural look. Black women have to work five times as hard as white woman to adhere to the societal norms. I dated this one white woman who would role of bed and look exactly what society says women should look like.

Similarly, Society has different standards for beauty for black men. For instance in corporate America most black males have to shave their hair short and cant grow it out like their white male counterparts in order to have a professional look. Also in dating sites black men are explicitly weeded out. I have dated women of all races.

Regarding Vanessa, I could see why she was a little bit nervous. I have many close women friends probably over a hundred. And I'm not trying to sound like Tres. Most of them I've been friends with since high school or college. We have wonderful friendships. However, I would probably sleep with them if the opportunity came up. Even the ones that I'm not that attracted to. Vanessa should chill though.

Regarding Mustache, does she want David to touch her or doesn't she want David to touch her. I hope David is getting laid by the woman he had drinks with.

[floridaskixx]

Well, for the record I find such posts very interesting and even educational. I'm white, and though I was aware of some of this after working for some years in a large office with many black women, I think it can be a good thing for more people of other races to be aware of what some other races go through. I watch BlackLove, too, mostly because I like relationship shows anyway but partly for the "educational" aspect. FWIW, I don't think any of the posts here have been racist at all. They were just discussing some of the realities of dating.

I never said the topic was racist. I love discussions like this. I basically just said that I don't think Vanessa was jealous because she is white. It was bc of the history they have/ and she's kinda pretty regardless of her race

[Drogo]

My lady had two great guy-friends, one from high school and one from college, and I was always fine with both because I knew they knew where they stood with her- and with me. (Either one would have jumped at the opportunity to take it further, I'm sure.) One of them got married last year and at the wedding (right after we met the smiling bride) she sadly told me their friendship was going to be over now that he had a wife. She was sad but also understanding and happy for him. And turns out she was right, as he's been MIA ever since.

IMO, Vanessa has the right to ask her husband to end a friendship she's not comfortable with, and vice versa. She doesn'thave the right to act cool with it and be rude/throw shade at the girl though. Not that I think she did.

Me personally, I have never had a female friend who wasn't either attracted to me or I wasn't attracted to. That's why I don't have any "girlfriends" since I've been married.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

Vanessa was jealous, no doubt about that. But I don't think it's just because the 'other woman' was a long-time friend, and possibly an ex- , of Tres'.

Tres told Vanessa that he loved his friend -- and then emphatically disrespected Vanessa in front of all their friends when someone at the party cooed something like, "You two are so sweet, so in love".

 

Tres' response was "That's a strong word! ---a very strong word!!" And the look in his eyes was cold as winter.

[yb125]

Throwing another log in to the male/female friends fire. I understand intellectually how this can be a problem for people but really it's baffling to me. I can't imagine any of my males friends hitting on me and I have had straight male friends all my life. I am friends with them for the same reason I am friends with my female friends, similar core values, some similar interests and they are enjoyable to be around. I don't see how gender is an inherent issue there sometimes you aren't someones type (sometimes when you are) and you can still just be friends.  

As for are how to relates to these people this seems like something they should know about each other, I am sure it's in one of those 100 questions to ask before you get married books, that should be a standard wedding gifts for these folks.

Edited February 4, 2016 by yb125

[Jack Sampson]

Regarding Mustache, does she want David to touch her or doesn't she want David to touch her. I hope David is getting laid by the woman he had drinks with.

How great would it be if Ashley found a used condom in the trash can? Watching her go all:

[Racj82]

With the men and women bring friends thing, I always try to stress that there is no 100% anything. You can't say that men and women can't be platonic friends because you can't say that as a fact. You can only speak about your experiences or what you are around you.

Speaking for myself, I have the whole spectrum. Women I had sex with and remained platonic friends without anything bring weird. Over a decade for one of those friendships. Female friends I fell for. Some I voiced my interest and some I never said anything. It all depended on how strongly I felt or how fearful I was if the rejection. But, I've never been friends with any woman just because I wanted to get with them. The friendship was genuine and I was always willing to remain friends even if the feelings were not returned.

But, there are always multiple issues at play. Are you attracted to that make or female? If not then it is not hard. Also, you can be attracted to someone but know it will never happen for one reason or another and leave it at that.

But you absolutely can be. It's also like a partner being insecure with their mate around a certain person. If you trust the person, what the other feels is a moot point.

[psychoticstate]

and the way Jenna acted at the BBQ comforted me in my views. I have a hard time believing that Tres and Jenna actually didn’t screw around at one point. The Jenna-Vanessa interaction gave me mistress-wife vibes. Jenna was clearly marking her territory. The way she sat on the couch next to Tres was inappropriate.

 

 

I felt this way too.  I believe men and women can be just friends but I noticed the way Jenna was looking at Tres and Vanessa and it seemed more like friends with benefits with her wanting more than just benefits.  Vanessa didn't help matters by clinging to Tres, as if she were trying to mark her territory and then shooing Jenna outside while giving her the stink eye. 

 

I think Ashley just doesn't know herself yet. It takes a while to figure out. You think you're just shy, but then you meet other people who are shy yet have an easier time. It's kind of embarrassing and you may not feel comfortable explaining it to your friends, who BTW, take all of your quirks personally. There's a chance that Ashley was trying to challenge herself. It's also likely that she underestimated the stress and overestimated what she could handle. On the job she's probably very efficient and warm. I'm a nurse and fall into that roll easily. The majority of her life has been as student and professional. Outside of those roles is where life gets so hard.

 

 

Thank you, Redheaded Zombie, for this post and the previous one.  I think you hit the nail on the head.  I can be introverted at times and was shy growing up.  I didn't realize for a very long time that I can have social anxiety in certain situations and it's horrible.  You really can't describe it to anyone who hasn't suffered with it. 

 

I don't fault David as much as I do the so-called "experts" who should have picked up on this and either passed on Ashley or helped David understand it accordingly.  It's clear he has zero concept on how it works or how to deal with it.  He's been incredibly patient and kind, in my book, for someone who is the opposite personality-wise. 

 

I never thought I would say this but I'm starting to believe that Sam and Neil will opt to stay together, while Tres and Vanessa will not.  V is immature and she doesn't trust Tres.  Again, great job, "experts" in putting together two people with severe abandonment issues.

 

Ashley and David goes without saying, unless a miracle along the lines of baby Jesus' immaculate conception happens.

[operalover]

RacJ I totally agree with your post, there is a whole spectrum of male/female platonic friendships. I am also in a sports club with a lot of married men and I am single. we are friends and are not hitting on each other. Some of them are extremely attractive, but I am not going there. Sometimes they text me about getting together to do the sport- and we will chat about other things too- but its just a friendship based on a mutual hobby that their wives don't have. None of it is out of bounds. I am positive they are not secretly lusting after me. 

 

Also hooking up and then being platonic friends does happen a lot without it being weird after. I'm kind of suspecting that with Tres and Jenna, a one time hookup way back when that turned into a platonic friendship. Look at Jerry and Elaine! 

[Racj82]

RacJ I totally agree with your post, there is a whole spectrum of male/female platonic friendships. I am also in a sports club with a lot of married men and I am single. we are friends and are not hitting on each other. Some of them are extremely attractive, but I am not going there. Sometimes they text me about getting together to do the sport- and we will chat about other things too- but its just a friendship based on a mutual hobby that their wives don't have. None of it is out of bounds. I am positive they are not secretly lusting after me.

Also hooking up and then being platonic friends does happen a lot without it being weird after. I'm kind of suspecting that with Tres and Jenna, a one time hookup way back when that turned into a platonic friendship. Look at Jerry and Elaine!

Yes. Also, my main question about Jenna and Tres is that they are both attractive people, Tres liked to get out there and date, so how did come to be that aren't or never got together? It could simply be one or both of them worried about ruining the friendship. One was in a relationship when they met, etc. But, I'm just curious.

[ramonacgar]

Wasn't Ashley in a long term relationship prior to this? I cannot imagine what that was like. She comes across as the kind of person who would have a hard time dating, period. Why sign up for something like this if you know that you don't open up to people that easily? She's just wasting David's time.

[allthelight]

Ashley doesn't make it easy for David - but Jeez, he's really blind towards picking up any hints. He's still "My wife", "My wedding anniversy", "Things could've been a lot worse", deliberately/unconsciously ignoring that this isn't working at all, that they are only husband and wife on paper and that she's still a complete stranger. I'm not saying they ever stood a chance, with her being so shut down and not attracted, but he doesn't know how to handle her at all. He's doing everything totally wrong.

[Neurochick]

I never said the topic was racist. I love discussions like this. I basically just said that I don't think Vanessa was jealous because she is white. It was bc of the history they have/ and she's kinda pretty regardless of her race

 

I didn't say that Vanessa was jealous because the woman was white, in fact I'm not 100% sure Jenna even is white.  My point was that Jenna is closer to the beauty standard in America, slim figure, straight hair, European features.  

 

I don't think Ashley is a super introvert, has social anxiety or anything that deep.  I think Ashley's issue is that she's not attracted to David; she's not attracted to him, she might even be repulsed by him, and there's nothing he or she can do about it.  All Ashley is doing is waiting for the "experiment" to be over.  

Edited February 4, 2016 by Neurochick

[SFoster21]

I didn't say that Vanessa was jealous because the woman was white, in fact I'm not 100% sure Jenna even is white. My point was that Jenna is closer to the beauty standard in America, slim figure, straight hair, European features.

I don't think Ashley is a super introvert, has social anxiety or anything that deep. I think Ashley's issue is that she's not attracted to David; she's not attracted to him, she might even be repulsed by him, and there's nothing he or she can do about it. All Ashley is doing is waiting for the "experiment" to be over.

She looks at him as though he were some vermin crawling on the floor. Repulsive, but not scary enough to flee. Barely worth getting up to step on.

[Vinyasa]

And in the scene where he brings her a cupcake and flowers I swear I saw her in another episode wearing that top and those shoes with her hair all curly like that.

 

They are horrible with the production of this show! In one of Vanessa's talking heads, she is on the tan sofa in Sam's house.

[Pfj99]

I agree with all of this. Why do Tres and Vanessa have to sit home and sing hymns? Go out dancing, enjoy some live music! go to a concert or a comedy club. there are lots of ways to go out and enjoy the nightlife without getting trashed every weekend.

 

Ashley is full of shit. David will never be good enough for her and whatever he does will be wrong. Why does she think he would set himself up for being cold shouldered by Ashley at the party, in front of his friends? She has done nothing to indicate that she would welcome him coming into the kitchen, touching her shoulder and asking if she needed anything. And I admit, I laughed out loud when David said none of her friends showed up. Can you imagine her asking them? "So, we're having a party for fourth of July. David will be there so it will probably be really uncomfortable and it will probably rain anyway, but come if you want".

And please--canned frosting? Ugh.

 

Sam cannot leave Neil alone, can she? She has a self destructive streak a mile wide. She has probably chased off every guy she's ever dated. I did like seeing the real joy on her face at the gym, and was pleasantly surprised at how patient and helpful she was with Neil there. Maybe if she could forget to front for five minutes we might get to see who Sam really is. Behind that boorish, vulgar exterior there could be a kind and caring person.

   

THIS. And my god, he came in all happy, with flowers and a cupcake, and she acted like he was handing her a severed head.

 

(sorry not to attribute the quotes, something went wrong when I tried to post originally so I had to copy and paste!)

[izabella]

I really wonder what the story is behind none of Ashley's friends being at the party.  She probably didn't want the party at all, so did nothing about it until the day of the party.  Ashley doesn't get it that to feel like part of a couple, you have to reach out and put some of yourself into being a part of a couple...it takes two to be a couple.  She's expecting it all to come from David reaching out to her, except for all the times she doesn't want to be in the same zip code as David.

 

I wish Sam would ditch those short shorts.  I thought they liked sundresses in the South?  Sam looked cute in that work dress she had on the day she kicked Neil out of her condo.  She should stick to dresses and skirts.  Ashley should, too.  The short shorts make her look pudgy when she's not actually pudgy. 

 

Neil made me laugh with his "crotchal region" remark when he was upsdie-down on the sillks.

 

Vanessa, the first rule of hosting is you make your guests feel welcome.  Jenaa was an invited guest, and no matter how much you want to dismiss her and make her go away, you put on a smile and make her feel welcome in your home.  If you have a problem, you take it up with Tres privately.  She's young; she'll learn.

Edited February 4, 2016 by izabella

[Pfj99]

I noticed that the cupcake David brought Ashley was in a nice box that hadn't been crushed in a backpack--unlike the one she gave him after her exam.

[Vinyasa]

Ashley doesn't make it easy for David - but Jeez, he's really blind towards picking up any hints. He's still "My wife", "My wedding anniversy", "Things could've been a lot worse", deliberately/unconsciously ignoring that this isn't working at all, that they are only husband and wife on paper and that she's still a complete stranger.

 

Ashley and David are no further along after four weeks than they were after four minutes at the wedding reception.

[Soup333]

Maybe David has similar issues to Vanessa because of his father's death. He was completely distraught in the next weeks' promo over a 5-week marriage. Maybe his father dying/mother still honoring and speaking of him so much is why he is so determined to get married. I think he is blinded by his vision of his wife enjoying his friends and family that he is not even considering that Ashley is just not the person who will ever want a marriage with him. 

 

The way Ashley treated those flowers -- she looked at them as if he'd dug them out of the garbage. 

 

Vanessa. Just last week I said she would fuck this up for herself and here she goes proving me right. I DON'T think Tres invited Jenna to be manipulative or to covertly watch to see what Vanessa's reaction would be. That would suggest a cruelty in him that I just don't see. Vanessa needs counseling. Period. She needs to deal with her abandonment issues, but she also needs to learn how to communicate. Tres was talking to her and she had her head completely turned to the side. I read that as dismissive. 

 

I fully believe that Sam has narcissistic personality disorder. She will never change. She will always belittle and demean Neil because that's who she is as a person. Neil was very uncomfortable at that picnic. His friend was right to be worried about him. Sam brushed it off and said he'd be fine because she doesn't give a shit and it wasn't about her. 

[allthelight]

Maybe David has similar issues to Vanessa because of his father's death. He was completely distraught in the next weeks' promo over a 5-week marriage. Maybe his father dying/mother still honoring and speaking of him so much is why he is so determined to get married. I think he is blinded by his vision of his wife enjoying his friends and family that he is not even considering that Ashley is just not the person who will ever want a marriage with him.

The way Ashley treated those flowers -- she looked at them as if he'd dug them out of the garbage.

Vanessa. Just last week I said she would fuck this up for herself and here she goes proving me right. I DON'T think Tres invited Jenna to be manipulative or to covertly watch to see what Vanessa's reaction would be. That would suggest a cruelty in him that I just don't see. Vanessa needs counseling. Period. She needs to deal with her abandonment issues, but she also needs to learn how to communicate. Tres was talking to her and she had her head completely turned to the side. I read that as dismissive.

I fully believe that Sam has narcissistic personality disorder. She will never change. She will always belittle and demean Neil because that's who she is as a person. Neil was very uncomfortable at that picnic. His friend was right to be worried about him. Sam brushed it off and said he'd be fine because she doesn't give a shit and it wasn't about her.

Now that I've seen the complete episode I agree with you. I like Vanessa, I really do, and I'm not sure about Tres' husband qualities but she is ruining this for herself. Even if he is marriage material- she is pushing him away. Her communication skills are the worst and in a show that stars Sam Role this is saying something. The way she turned her head away was downright disrespectful. Tres is not perfect but Vanessa's childhood issues are not his fault. If she insists on being angry with him, she should at least tell him why.

[sleekandchic]

Poor Vanessa just really lost her mind this episode. She morphed into a petty, clingy, jealous mess. For all her beauty, intelligence and sensitivity, she allowed jealousy over a guy to turn her green. I felt bad for her, but I was also embarrassed for the smallness she showed. I want her to love herself more and to recognize her own dignity and worth. Come on Vanessa!

Every once in awhile, I remind myself what I'm actually watching @MAFS. Six random people, age ranges 26-31, who say they're desperate for marriage but have despaired of finding a mate through conventional means. So? Let's go on TV, expose our secrets to the world, and humiliate ourselves AND our parents and friends, and random strangers/mates by putting them in the spotlight, too. Terrific idea!

IOW, we are not dealing with normal, average people here. To expect consistent, rational behaviors from any of them is a waste of time, I think. I'm 32 and a relative newlywed; and I've dedicated my life in social work to assisting families with deep, ingrained, multi-generational recurring problems. So I thought I could maybe understand and learn from the people who populate this show, but no, I'm lost. Kookaluks, all of em, including the sell-out experts.

I've learned more by reading these forums than by listening to the confused and narcissistic ramblings of the MAFS loons. I sure hope the money and attention are worth making asses of themselves on tv and social media.

[princelina]

I just remembered why I hated Sam this ep, besides her usual garbage treatment of Neil:  her idea of an hilarious prank at work is to remove all of the screws from a colleague's chair, so that when the guy sat down it fell apart!  (Double hate because that doesn't sound like it even really happened but she is lying bc she thinks it would be so hilarious so she's pretending it did!)  

[Kareem]

Crickets immediately following her disclosure: Priceless.

[Kira53]

Vanessa's body language was shouting her real feelings. Go away, get out of my house attractive Tees female friend. This is my man! I'm angry to have a beautiful friend. Next day I'm using my dog to cover my hurt feelings that you had a friend for year before I met you 4 weeks ago! I'm not going to talk to you.I'm shutting you out. She sure shuts down. I'm impressed at Tees communicating straightforward how he experienced her leaving. She should have been able to joke about it being too early for love talk. She is going to ruin this. I'm sure the friend felt awarkward too. Her wing man marrying a stranger.

[Paddywagon]

What I would've REALLY liked last night was if Neil invited his female friend to the bbq--his ex at the wedding. Whoa, if we all thought Vanessa was throwing shade, can you imagine how powder keg Sam would react?

[Madding crowd]

I've been saying since the beginning that Sam and Neil have the only chance of staying together. They both want to be married, they both are secure in jobs, friends, hobbies, and neither have past issues which need to be dealt with before marriage. I don't like Sam but I find Neil boring as hell. To me he is not attractive, too serious, and I don't see the wonderful sense of humor I keep hearing about. And i don't think Sam is half as hateful as Ashley.

 

Watching Ashley and David is just painful. Nothing he can do pleases her. When I first got married I was still new to my city and my husband also wanted to have huge parties with people I barely knew. I am also an introvert, and it was hard. But I didn't blame my husband for it, it just was what it was. Ashley is from the same city as David, she has no excuse for not having people to invite. And if by chance, all of her friends were busy, than she could invite them next time. She is just an awful person.

 

Tres and Vanessa are really sweet but I don't think Tres is really committed and I think Vanessa is too needy. My husband and I have friends of the opposite sex, but we see them in group settings or parties, not much one on one get togethers. No real reason except for my husband works a lot and we don't have much time together to go out and I wouldn't want him to spend a rare weekend off with another woman, friend or not. You have to do what works for your situation.

 

I don't think Tres meant to hurt Vanessa by inviting Jenna, but he knew it would be hurtful to admit he felt no love his wife in front of his friends. That should have been private. I also thought Jenna was acting and looking at Tres in a proprietary way. It doesn't excuse Vanessa being rude, but I didn't really think she was that rude either. I still think Tres is trying but he still wants to have the single life, and Vanessa is too clingy and needy. Guys really don't like women who are hanging on them every minute, especially in front of friends. It's too bad because I think they could make a good couple if they met in an ordinary way. The problem is Tres would never have met Vanessa in a club or strip club and she would never meet a guy like Tres in a painting/wine night. 

[anarchyangel84]

It's interesting to have read some of your opinions on Vanessa not believing that men & women can be just friends.

I don't know if it's because of the way I grew up, but I had a lot of guy friends. It was nothing romantic or sexual. Some of those friends I still talk to so who am I to say my man can't have girls that are friends?

Anywho, I think we witnessed the beginning of the end to Vanessa & Tres' marriage. It's not just about Jenna, Tres friend. She wishes he'd get more into the husband role? What has he been doing? Whether he'e ready to be married or not, he's doing a pretty good job. That's my opinion though, I could be wrong.

I think that David should've gone & checked on Ashley a few times at the party since he knew she was out of her comfort zone. However, I'm really not sure she would've been happy with anything he would've tried to do. She's really getting good at speaking her mind, isn't she?

I don't know what to think about David asking out another girl. I need to hear the explanation first. Like if he was just frustrated & fed up & made a mistake, that's one thing. All David has been saying is how much he wants his marriage to work & how hard he's been trying. For him to then go outside the marriage is really slimy- especially when this process is 6 weeks long. He couldn't wait till after that if/when they decide to get divorced? I know Ashley hasn't shown any interest in David & she did just tell him she's not attracted to him. BUT she has been committed to this process even if the effort hasn't been there 100%.

I don't know if any of these people were ready to get married. I mean, they all have very different reasons that it doesn't seem like they're ready. I don't know if it just seems that way because of the situation they're in. Maybe Vanessa is ready to

get married- to a man she's known for a while & is a little more secure with. I think David & Neil are ready too. I just think David needs to find someone as committed to him as he is to her & Neil needs to find someone who's a little more relaxed with gender roles. I think besides Ashley being in school, she could be ready too- but I think she needs someone just as introverted as she is. I don't know about Tres & Sam- especially Sam.

[moonxyz]

Tres is sort of the new Sean. The darling of the Production team that is getting the good edit. Is fake and says fake stuff

 

Vanessa is Davina, less bitchy but edited as the crazy insecure one. I feel sorry for her because she's probably the only one taking this show seriously. 

[ClareWalks]

I just remembered why I hated Sam this ep, besides her usual garbage treatment of Neil:  her idea of an hilarious prank at work is to remove all of the screws from a colleague's chair, so that when the guy sat down it fell apart!  (Double hate because that doesn't sound like it even really happened but she is lying bc she thinks it would be so hilarious so she's pretending it did!)  

 

Yeah, and when she cackled laughing "HE FELL ON HIS FACE!!!" I thought "this bitch is a fucking sociopath." It's not funny when someone actually gets hurt, or lands on a part that could get hurt. And that she pulled this prank at work, she said "our banker," so they weren't on the same level at work. He was either over her or under her. Either possibility is horrifying.

 

I also loved the dead silence after, when asked why they were matched, she said "we're both really NICE PEOPLE." *stare in silence*

[AussieBabe]

Vanessa needs counselling. She has obvious abandonment issues, and that was a bad move to run back to her flat. She was totally dismissive of everything he was saying with her face turned away and pouting like a three year old. She's too immature for my liking.

Love IS a big word. Sane people don't just throw love out there. And 31 days in? Girl, he probably can't even remember your middle name.

And holding on to Tres for dear life when Jenna was in the room? Insecure and rude because she didn't introduce herself or make her feel welcome. She virtually put her out of his orbit. I call BS on her interview with Jamie. She wasn't trying to get to know her. She felt threatened, and it showed. If it came across on TV like that, I'm sure people at their party picked up on it. Why would she go outside and socialise with Vanessa’s family and friends? It's apparent that she knew his other friends as she talked to them and felt comfortable sitting amongst them. They might have all been friends back in uni.

Perhaps Jenna isn't his type, so he never took it there or had interest. If cold Ashley is allowed to have a type, Tres can, too. You can be friends and not feel anything romantic towards a person. For all we know, Jenna might be married, engaged, or a lesbian. I don't know her life. It rubbed me wrong when Vanessa said men and women couldn't be friends. That may be how you feel. That doesn't apply to my life. I have male friends, and they knew from the jump straight friend zoned with no chance of ever getting out. Don't even try it. I don't welcome romantic advances or flirting from anybody but my husband. I've only been attracted to one man (my husband) in all of my years. I'm a panromantic demisexual, so I see strangers as aesthically pleasing but never attractive. Mr. GQ could walk in, and I'd say he's nice looking and shrug. My hormones wouldn't even take notice. I'm weird in that I have to have a strong emotional connection to feel any type of attraction, and the last time that happened was about 16 years ago. So for me...my husband has no reason to feel threatened by another man. If he ever asked me to end a friendship with a man because of his insecurities, I'd tell him that he needs to get a handle on his insecurity issues, identify/address his fears, ask why he feels threatened, and most importantly, if he trusts me.

Vanessa would be out of line to ask him to end the friendship to soothe her fears. That's controlling. He has a right to have friends of both sexes. He isn't her property, and she can't dictate who he socialises with. I didn't see anything overtly disrespectful. He could've kept her a secret or been texting her at 2 AM. Unless he's a bold one and crazy, I can't see him being bad ass enough to bring his current or former FWB in his marital home. Now she could say, "I'm uncomfortable with xyz, and I'd like to openly discuss that with you. I don't expect you to give up someone important in your life, but I need to know that I can confide in you with no judgement."

And Ashley. Child, you're a special breed. Last week, he was told to give up the marriage and affection. This week you're hollering about how he isn't treating you like a wife or acting like a married couple. What? You haven't acted like you were married for 31 days but on day 32 you saw the light? Girl bye.

Sam...straight narcissist and burn the shorts. Why in the hell do women think it's ok to sit like cross legged with tiny ass shorts on? Make it stop.

Edited February 4, 2016 by AussieBabe

[Sunnyside]

Just finished watching the episode and I have to say what struck me most is how all three women seem to expect the men to conform to what <they> need. None of them seems all that interested in what their husbands might need or want from a marriage.

Ashley seems to want somebody who will always be there to hold her hand and get her through life. Sam wants somebody who sees how awesome she is. And Vanessa seems to want someone who will sense her every mood and read her mind, and respond accordingly. None of them seems to think they need to give a little to get something in return.

This is exactly how I see them when it comes to their zero effort of being a wife, although I think Jennessa (I mean Vanessa) has at least cooked and....with Tres. But I totally agree, after edits we only see them complaining about how their husbands don't meet their expectations.

Marriage is WORK. And guess what Ladies, you skipped the part of getting to know him before you say I do. So settle for this consolation of not having him get to know you first and saying Oh hell no I'm not marrying that crazy B$#*+.....

Edited February 4, 2016 by Sunnyside

[Jax7917]

I'm confused with the whole "love" thing because if I recall, a couple of episodes ago tres said to the camera that he was falling in love with vanessa. Now all of a sudden, they dropped that storyline and love is a  scary word for him.

 

I really despise Ashley with everything I have. I don't know how it's even possible to hate someone so much that I don't know lol. There is not one good thing about her personality. The only reason she is blaming David for abandoning her at the party is so she can have another excuse to distance herself from him. The only problem I have with him is that its getting ridiculous when he talks about how amazing of a wife she is and what a great time they have together blah blah. From what we've seen, they haven't had one moment of fun since the show started and she hasn't cracked a smile once other than when she feels like she has to be phony. Him saying nice things about her HAS to be producer driven, and I'm really hoping on the finale he lets her have it.

 

I'm surprised sam hasn't given neil a peck on the lips yet. Shes a nightmare too but she seems more like a free bird that would throw him a peck every now and then

[qtpye]

I'm confused with the whole "love" thing because if I recall, a couple of episodes ago tres said to the camera that he was falling in love with vanessa. Now all of a sudden, they dropped that storyline and love is a  scary word for him.

 

 

I have no idea if Tres is a player, but a lot of other people have gotten that vibe from him.  IF it is true that he is, then the old song goes "players only love you when they're playing".

 

Those type of guys usually shower a woman with attention and then want to dump them as soon as they have slept together.  I hope this is not the situation with Tres and Vanessa, as I really would like for them to make it.

[Gator Stud]

I'm confused with the whole "love" thing because if I recall, a couple of episodes ago tres said to the camera that he was falling in love with vanessa. Now all of a sudden, they dropped that storyline and love is a  scary word for him.

I'll stick up for Vanessa. I was in a very similar situation where I was at a house party with a woman I just started dating. Someone made a comment to me about how we really looked in love with each other. I just smiled nervously and said Thank You. Tres should have just said nothing or squeezed her arm.

[Vinyasa]

Tres is sort of the new Sean. The darling of the Production team that is getting the good edit. Is fake and says fake stuff

 

I'd never have Tres and Sean in the same category. Sean was the one we "loved to hate", Christian Gray and glow in the dark stars. Tres is non of that.

 

I hope he isn't fake but I also never thought basement Ryan was fake either.

[Soup333]

If he ever asked me to end a friendship with a man because of his insecurities, I'd tell him that he needs to get a handle on his insecurity issues, identify/address his fears, ask why he feels threatened, and most importantly, if he trusts me.

 

Aussiebabe, I won't quote your entire post, but please continue to preach this word! I'm really baffled by the disparity of comments I'm reading about this situation. Tres invites a friend he's had for years to a party and because friend has a vagina, he's automatically not serious about his marriage, a player, can't be trusted, only invited her to see how Vanessa would react...I'm truly baffled by all this. Meanwhile, Vanessa claims she is a confident woman but acts the total opposite when she meets his friend. Would she have acted like that if Jenna had been Tres cousin? Surely not. She probably couldn't even help her reaction. That's what that fight the next day was about, damn the sick dog (not really, but...). She was upset about Jenna and the love comment (which was NOT that big of a deal). Couldn't wait to bring that up. Couldn't wait to have additional evidence that he doesn't really care (sick dog). She probably resisted bringing up Jenna because she didn't want to be seen as jealous. Well, too late. Her jealousy was rolling off of her in waves. I could practically feel it it my living room. 

 

Get help, girl. Seriously. 

[PityFree]

I assume several of Sam's exes* have restraining orders on her. I hope they reveal that at the reunion show. 

 

*Also, ex-roommates, ex-coworkers, ex-neighbors, etc. Gramma isn't dead; she's in hiding. 

Edited February 4, 2016 by PityFree

[gunderda]

I was giving Ashley the benefit of the doubt for most of this show... but tonight... no.... just no..... I think I am finally off that boat!

If she was alone and isolated then she needs to get really po'd at the editors for not showing ANYTHING giving evidence to that.  Of course it's going to be awkward around people she doesn't know.  I get invited to friends parties all the time where I know no one except the host and yes it's uncomfortable but you stuff your face and try to have a good time lol  As long as the food is good, I don't care! HA!

 

I could see David's frustration when she made those negative comments.  To us as viewers, we saw what David saw.  It looked like she was having a good time and she was mingling.  What did she expect him to do!?

Vanessa has some super deep seeded issues.... she makes the relationship unhealthy with the way she shuts down.... over the reaction of her sick dog.  Most guys aren't going to get all sad when a pet is sick, especially when it's not their pet!

The "love" thing... yea... Tre could have handled that better but it was probably just a gut reaction.

[seasick]

I think Tres is starting to back off now as the 'Big Question looms closer.  Sam, on the other hand has begun her plan for an "amazing turnaround" for the finale outcome.  

 

I completely wrote Tres off in the beginning.  Then, I believe he started to truly fall for Vanessa. (this was a problem for Tres,  who I believe had zero intention of staying married  going into this).   Vanessa was skeptical in the beginning as someone would be, esp. given his current single lifestyle that he seemed to truly enjoy.   She was urged to put her doubts aside and let her guard down, and she did so.  I think she also saw some genuine caring in Tres, and started to think maybe he does want to commit.  He has said that he's looking to get out of the bachelor life.    I was starting to buy it myself.  

 

But now I see big cold feet.  He is backing off and playing on her insecurities to get her to back off.  The Jenna thing was a mess all around.  I agree Vanessa totally over-reacted and actually played right into his hand.   But I believe he's doing other,  more subtle back-offs that on the surface seem minor and petty when addressed but I think Vanessa feels it.  The dog thing sounds petty, but I think there has been a shift in his behavior all around in several ways and she senses.it.  

 

They highlighted Davina's upset on the hayride which made her seem petty, when in reality she had finally hit a wall with days of Sean's self-absorbed yammer and pontification as if she didn't exist, and realized she was with a talking drone.  It was pointless and over at that moment and she knew it.. But they made it about that one moment, that one thing.  Not accurate and unfair.. .  .

 

No Tres wants out.  He wants Vanessa to pull the trigger.  He wants it to look like she's too demanding and insecure.  She might want more from him than he is willing to give right now, but he is tugging on those strings.  She had hope and I think he gave her some legitimate hope   I don't think her expectations for a husband are unrealistic for a new young bride to have.  (they are often naive and a bit fairlyland but common)    I believe at some point he considered it  but he's decided he doesn't want to settle down yet and I don't believe it has anything to do with Vanessa.  .   

[JapMo]

Tres is a typical guy....he knew something was up regarding the love comment only because Vanessa made it apparent she was pissed.  But he did not pick up on Vanessa's jealous behavior towards Jenna, or her total rudeness "disguised" as being friendly.  But Jenna saw it.  Every woman in the room (and every female watching on TV) knew what was going on.  It's a female thing...we know each other's tricks.  Same with the phony sick dog reason for being angry.  Tres fell for it.  All the women in the audience knew it was BS from the get-go.  Women can fool men most of the time because guys take things at face value.  But we can't fool another sistah.