Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)

[Natalie68]

On 11/3/2019 at 7:18 AM, Juliegirlj said:

Menopause sucks~ hot flashes can go on for 10 plus years for some women ( going on 6 yrs for me)....

The saying “ you are what you eat” is so true. After the age of 50 the body needs far fewer calories, which can be difficult for some people. Aside from some random food sensitivities that I’ve developed, I can maintain my weight by eating almost anything I want- except wheat ( bread, pasta, baked goods, etc). Wheat Belly is alive and well with SO many people. 

I am one that will go completely hog wild with food unless I am really structured.  She seems to just eat on the fly which means bad choices.  Eat food in its natural form most of the time, make sure you have enough protein/fiber/nutrients/whathaveyou, keep track of calories in and out, all that not fun jazz.  There is no actual rockstar that will solve anything.  It is everything one does.  Also, if there is a food that makes you lose any sort of self control do not allow it in your front door.  Mine is donuts.  Get a physical and see a gastro to figure out why your gut is always rebelling.  Lastly, know thyself Janelle!  

[Cherry Cola]

1 hour ago, laurakaye said:

So she's drinking warm water and she's not peeing that much?  Does that sound normal?  Shouldn't water pass through you whether it's warm or cold?

I'm no Dr, but I do play one on t.v.  I also think that sounds strange, it's still water. And water as I have read before is the quickest thing to pass through the stomach.   Sipping warm water sounds gross. 

Now maybe there is a reason,but why would warm water as opposed to cold water keep her less dehydrated?! 

[lookeyloo]

Wow Janelle.  Go know.  I like my water room temperature.  At a restaurant I order it no ice no lemon.  I should do an experiment and report back after 3 days of warm water.  I will be thinner, more energetic, have less wrinkles, blah blah blah.

[Fosca]

Isn't PCOS often linked with infertility?  Not a problem with Janelle.

If I'm really dehydrated, I can drink water (at least at first) and not pee much, since I figure my body is restocking its fluid supply before flushing the system.

I suspect she drinks warm water because it's easier to drink a lot.  I like my drinking water close to room temperature, because then I can chug a lot of it without overchilling my mouth/throat.

[Juliegirlj]

I wonder if Janelle has ever had a proper physical exam with a licensed physician? Based on her symptom complaints it wouldn’t surprise me if she has pre-diabetes and hypothyroidism, as well as leaky gut syndrome. 

Got a good laugh from Janelle’s comment about having several super sweaty workouts..... ( did she have to get a stepladder to retrieve those special snacks from an upper cupboard? 🤪)

[DakotaJustice]

2 hours ago, Sandy W said:

I don't know much about physiology but it seems to me that living creatures would have an internal system of regulating the temperature of liquids or solids to body temperature before even hitting the esophagus.  Anyone here know for sure?

After I stopped laughing at her ridiculous post I was like... doesn't your body warm up the water while it's making its way through the system? We aren't REPTILES. 

I shoot for a gallon a day of water, my teeth are sensitive so I drink it at room temp. So yes I pee like a racehorse and if it's too dark that means I haven't had enough water that day. I'm going for clear pee. 

ETA to say I don't think I was strong enough in saying that this is total BULLSHIT! There aren't many times where I wish I was still on FB but if I WAS I would ask her for a source and not just "check Google" like she usually says.

Edited November 4, 2019 by DakotaJustice

[deirdra]

If she wants to lose weight, maybe she should suck on ice cubes all day and then her body would need to expend energy heating it up to body temperature. A numb tongue may also curb her desire for junk food.

When I'm at conferences or meals and have had my fill of coffee and don't feel like any of the tea flavours offered, I've gone for hot water, often plain, for ~four decades to keep warm and hydrated. Due to sensitive teeth, I prefer my water room-temperature or warmer.

[laurakaye]

I wonder if Janelle has yet made the correlation between water and peeing.  My guess is no.

[DakotaJustice]

49 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

I wonder if Janelle has yet made the correlation between water and peeing.  My guess is no.

Or... DIGESTION. 

Flashing on that old Alka Seltzer ad...diGESTion...

[Galloway Cave]

"Even though there is no scientific research to support them, we still want to make these claims so nitwits can try them."

Doesn't Janelle realize she has been drinking hot water when partaking in her Rock!Star peppermint tea or double shot chocolate mochachino with extra whipped cream? It's all just flavored hot water.

[Kohola3]

2 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

After I stopped laughing at her ridiculous post I was like... doesn't your body warm up the water while it's making its way through the system? We aren't REPTILES. 

Exactly.  She probably got the idea from one of those ayervedic sites which are as phony as she is.

Look, idiot, there isn't a trap door from your mouth to your anus.  Whatever you drink - hot or cold - will be at body temperature before it ever hits your colon.  It warms or cools as it goes through the esophagus and goes into and through your stomach.  Thus pretty much whatever you ingest is 98.6 degrees (roughly) by the time it gets to the colon.

Hot or cold is a matter of taste. I drink everything ice cold unless it's supposed to be hot, like tea.  Neither one has any effect whatsoever on digestion, hydration, energy or anything else.

I swear she's a perfect specimen for trying placebos.  "Here, Janelle, this new Lotsaenergy pill, it makes you SO energetic."  Tomorrow's posting:  "I tried a new Lotsaenergy pill and what a game changer!  I was doing jumping jacks for hours and never got tired!"  "Here, Janelle, try this new Sleeplikealog pill and your slumber will be deep and restful."  Tomorrow's posting:  "My new rock star, the amazing Sleeplikealot pill. I have never slept better or awakened more with more energy!"  Moron.

[TurtlePower]

29 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

Exactly.  She probably got the idea from one of those ayervedic sites which are as phony as she is.

Look, idiot, there isn't a trap door from your mouth to your anus.  Whatever you drink - hot or cold - will be at body temperature before it ever hits your colon.  It warms or cools as it goes through the esophagus and goes into and through your stomach.  Thus pretty much whatever you ingest is 98.6 degrees (roughly) by the time it gets to the colon.

Hot or cold is a matter of taste. I drink everything ice cold unless it's supposed to be hot, like tea.  Neither one has any effect whatsoever on digestion, hydration, energy or anything else.

I swear she's a perfect specimen for trying placebos.  "Here, Janelle, this new Lotsaenergy pill, it makes you SO energetic."  Tomorrow's posting:  "I tried a new Lotsaenergy pill and what a game changer!  I was doing jumping jacks for hours and never got tired!"  "Here, Janelle, try this new Sleeplikealog pill and your slumber will be deep and restful."  Tomorrow's posting:  "My new rock star, the amazing Sleeplikealot pill. I have never slept better or awakened more with more energy!"  Moron.

This. 

Janelle is a moron. An idiot. An imbecile. There ought to be a movement to revoke her coach card because she’s JUST SO STUPID. 

[DakotaJustice]

I just officially died of laughter from the Trap Door to the anus. 😂😂😂😂

5 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

This. 

Janelle is a moron. An idiot. An imbecile. There ought to be a movement to revoke her coach card because she’s JUST SO STUPID. 

The coach card IS a stupid card because she paid so much money for it.

[Chicklet]

Now that we know about Janelle;s trap door, I want to know if she "believes" in vaccines.

Come on let us know that all your kids are protected. Does she see a gynecologist? A dentist? We know she hasn't seen a gastroenterologist (probably the trap door would scare them).

[DakotaJustice]

16 minutes ago, Chicklet said:

Now that we know about Janelle;s trap door, I want to know if she "believes" in vaccines.

Come on let us know that all your kids are protected. Does she see a gynecologist? A dentist? We know she hasn't seen a gastroenterologist (probably the trap door would scare them).

I think she sees Theodoric of York...medevial barber.

https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/theodoric-of-york/n8661

[ginger90]

What goes in, must come out. I think I’ll start a blog about it. 😎

[laurakaye]

Where is Kodork in all of this?  Perfecting his hair-scrunching techniques?  Even he and the Queen have to know that Janelle sounds absolutely moronic in these posts.  And I have to assume that this whole Strive nonsense germinated inside Kody's pea-brain as a money-making gimmick for his sloth-like side piece, because I'd imagine that the very last thing Janelle would ever want to do is to make people think that she actually cares about her own health, let alone anyone else's.

[DakotaJustice]

55 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

Where is Kodork in all of this?  Perfecting his hair-scrunching techniques?  Even he and the Queen have to know that Janelle sounds absolutely moronic in these posts.  And I have to assume that this whole Strive nonsense germinated inside Kody's pea-brain as a money-making gimmick for his sloth-like side piece, because I'd imagine that the very last thing Janelle would ever want to do is to make people think that she actually cares about her own health, let alone anyone else's.

Kody probably doesn't give a shit what his baby mama does at this point. 

But I think you're right about him being the instigator of this whole health thing as far back as 2011, when he (not Janelle) brought up the idea of opening a gym (Fundamentalist Fitness) and delegated it to Janelle. 

Edited November 5, 2019 by DakotaJustice

[Sandy W]

50 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

Where is Kodork in all of this?  Perfecting his hair-scrunching techniques?  Even he and the Queen have to know that Janelle sounds absolutely moronic in these posts.  And I have to assume that this whole Strive nonsense germinated inside Kody's pea-brain as a money-making gimmick for his sloth-like side piece, because I'd imagine that the very last thing Janelle would ever want to do is to make people think that she actually cares about her own health, let alone anyone else's.

Does anyone know how many subscribers Janelle has to her Strive gig?  I believe the fee is $9.00 per month, so even if she had a hundred paid subscriptions, the income would be pitiful.  There has been much ado about Janelle's accounting career and her prior government job, but I have never heard exactly what qualifications she has, she could have a community college diploma in The Fundamentals of Bookkeeping and that could have been enough to squeak her into an office job. 

What surprises me is that Kody hasn't put pressure on her to return to the traditional workforce where she would have a steady, reliable source of income plus benefits.  By now, they must all realize that Strife, like her real estate career, will lead nowhere except to the comfort of her lazy-girl chair.

[DakotaJustice]

10 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

Does anyone know how many subscribers Janelle has to her Strive gig?  I believe the fee is $9.00 per month, so even if she had a hundred paid subscriptions, the income would be pitiful.  There has been much ado about Janelle's accounting career and her prior government job, but I have never heard exactly what qualifications she has, she could have a community college diploma in The Fundamentals of Bookkeeping and that could have been enough to squeak her into an office job. 

What surprises me is that Kody hasn't put pressure on her to return to the traditional workforce where she would have a steady, reliable source of income plus benefits.  By now, they must all realize that Strife, like her real estate career, will lead nowhere except to the comfort of her lazy-girl chair.

She stopped the subscription thing some time ago and is now just charging $35 for a "coaching" phone call.

I really think she would be happier if she was just working a regular office job again. Kody doesn't care because legally he has no say. I think the only thing he cares about as far as Janelle personally is her participation in the show at this point.

I remember on LinkedIn she said her accounting degree is from the University of Phoenix. 

Edited November 5, 2019 by DakotaJustice

[TurtlePower]

5 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

Kody probably doesn't give a shit what his baby mama does at this point. 

But I think you're right about him being the instigator of this whole health thing as far back as 2011, when he (not Janelle) brought up the idea of opening a gym (Fundamentalist Fitness) and delegated it to Janelle. 

That’s like putting a shopoholic in charge of the family finances, hoping it will teach them how to budget. That person would have to have shown great strides in their own finances to be given such responsibility. But no, not dumbass Kody Brown. The idea that shoving Janelle into a field she desperately needs help in would somehow help transform her is stupid. It’s still stupid, as we see by her moronic posts—and she still goes along with it! 
 

if she had any guts she’d be like, “I suck at this, I don’t want to do this, I’m DONE.”  Why does she go along with this bullshit?  

[DakotaJustice]

Just the fact that she withdrew what she had in her 401(k) to pay for part of the Vegas move shows that she's not exactly financially savvy. There probably wasn't that much in there to begin with - hard to contribute much when there are so many mouths to feed - but withdrawal means she lost probably 40% or more to taxes and penalties. If she'd just have left it to grow she'd have a bit of a nest egg.

[laurakaye]

17 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

She stopped the subscription thing some time ago and is now just charging $35 for a "coaching" phone call.

I would so love for one of us to make that phone call to Janelle.  I'd imagine a lot of silence on her end (possibly even snoring), a mention or two of her latest rockstar ingredient, some blathering about how exercise is good for you, and perhaps some TMI about her digestive system.  And then she'd pretend that someone's knocking on her door to get you off the phone.  Total time: 4 minutes.

[xwordfanatik]

I've said it before, but I'd sooner dial up Miss Cleo, the phony psychic!  

I can't believe Janelle rilly believes she's helping anyone.  She's obeying Kootie, once again, like when she knuckled under and went along with their move to Flagstaff.  Spineless.  

[Cherry Cola]

1 hour ago, DakotaJustice said:

She stopped the subscription thing some time ago and is now just charging $35 for a "coaching" phone call.

I really think she would be happier if she was just working a regular office job again. Kody doesn't care because legally he has no say. I think the only thing he cares about as far as Janelle personally is her participation in the show at this point.

I remember on LinkedIn she said her accounting degree is from the University of Phoenix. 

I was thinking of this today. I think they all would be happier with jobs away from the family. Their own identity, and not just a sister wife. I was SAHM for a while and didn't realize how much I missed being out in the world. I am blessed to have had the time to stay home though.  But I was thinking even part time away from everyone, would do them all a world of good. 

[MV713]

today on Instagram - Janelle discovers a vegetable peeler!! WOW!

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

Let me know when she finds one of these, apparently she claims its very elusive, can be quite scary  and it always lies.

 

[ginger90]

[LilWharveyGal]

3 hours ago, MV713 said:

today on Instagram - Janelle discovers a vegetable peeler!! WOW!

I thought this had to be a joke, a la @Mahamid Frauded Me's parodies.  There are no words.  I just can't.  Wow.

[ginger90]

[Chicklet]

2 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

2 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Seriously kill me now, I was sure someone was just joking when that was posted the first time. What on earth is wrong with this woman? 

[Teafortwo]

4 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Wow. My jaw just dropped open. Whoever said Stupid Idiot - kudos!

ETA: Lol, 3 of us, same reaction, simultaneously!

Edited November 5, 2019 by Teafortwo
shared reaction

[Chicklet]

And what EXACTLY is she so exhausted from when she "comes in the door". Seriously Janelle, tell us hour by hour what your day is like because I would love a laugh.

[Teafortwo]

3 minutes ago, Chicklet said:

And what EXACTLY is she so exhausted from when she "comes in the door". Seriously Janelle, tell us hour by hour what your day is like because I would love a laugh.

She has to drive to the walking trail! Also, getting up from recliner to walk to fridge doncha know?

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

I declare Janelle one of the 7 natural dumbass wonders of the world.

I can picture it now, why didn't anyone tell me  you can get one that plugs in and does all the work for you. 

Maybe I found the real reason why this moron is so busy all the time

 

[xwordfanatik]

So dipshit Janelle has never peeled a fucking POTATO?  Or a cucumber?

DGIH, she has to be punking us.  I mean, rilly!  GGA.

[lookeyloo]

Y'all  - Our family is going through a really bad time right now, with an uncertain future for my son, who is very seriously ill, but when I read all your hilarious comments I laughed out loud for the first time in a long time.  So thanks.  That Janelle - what can one say.  Bless her heart.

[DaphneCat]

52 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

So dipshit Janelle has never peeled a fucking POTATO?  Or a cucumber?

DGIH, she has to be punking us.  I mean, rilly!  GGA.

I think she's trying to say she didn't know you could use a peeler on a butternut squash - not  that she's just discovered this utensil.  But seriously, if THIS is what she considers earth shattering she really needs to get out more.  As a COL, I miss the good old days before people felt the need to post EVERYTHING on the internet.  What's next - she discovers that you can use a frying pan to do things that aren't technically frying?  That it's a really great idea to change her socks every day?  What?

3 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

Y'all  - Our family is going through a really bad time right now, with an uncertain future for my son, who is very seriously ill, but when I read all your hilarious comments I laughed out loud for the first time in a long time.  So thanks.  That Janelle - what can one say.  Bless her heart.

Oh my.  I hope he improves.

[Kohola3]

She really needs to stop taking pictures of her slop. It always comes out with colors not found in nature.

lookeyloo, fingers crossed for your son.  We the COL's have your back.

[Chicklet]

As a (former) blonde (so I can say this)  Janelle was born blonde to the bone. And one of the dimmest of the bunch I have ever encountered. 

[Irate Panda]

9 hours ago, MV713 said:

today on Instagram - Janelle discovers a vegetable peeler!! WOW!

I THOUGHT YOU MADE THIS UP!!  This is so sad and she’s a life coach LOL

[Sandy W]

6 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Botanically speaking, squash is a fruit.  Janelle had no idea that she could use a vegetable peeler on fruit! 

Stayed tuned, next week Janelle is going to try this wonder gizmo on apples.🍎

[Joan of Argh]

46 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

Botanically speaking, squash is a fruit.  Janelle had no idea that she could use a vegetable peeler on fruit! 

Stayed tuned, next week Janelle is going to try this wonder gizmo on apples.🍎

One of the ass kissers on her IG actually said that because of Janelle's brilliant post she just realized she can use a peeler for apples!

Another called Janelle a GENIUS for figuring out you can use a peeler on squash!

Some don't even read what the post is about and just keep heaping on the praise.  🙄

[Yeah No]

On 11/3/2019 at 4:19 PM, DakotaJustice said:

I'm going to venture into geek territory and mention experiments done using double-labeled water. 

Basically isotopes in DLW allow a high accuracy in determining energy expenditure and caloric intake. There have been numerous studies done with people of all sizes including overweight/obese people who claimed to eat a very low amount of calories but being unable to lose weight and/or continued to gain weight. A lot of these studies are behind paywalls (ugh) but I did find one that isn't.

http://www.scielo.br/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&pid=S1415-52732001000200006

I've read about those studies before.  I was eating very specific foods in very specific, prescribed amounts when I went on various diets during menopause and still didn't lose weight.  Of course some of the medical/diet people acted like I was lying and under-reporting, but I wasn't.  I kept a food journal and still do online.  Now ten years after menopause that wouldn't happen, thankfully.  It might be harder and take longer for me to lose than other people, but I will lose. 

Studies do show that the older we get the slower we are to lose. I've read some studies that theorize that the difference between naturally thin people and people with a genetic/metabolic weight problem is not so much about how much or what they eat, but how fast they lose weight.  Everyone gains after they eat something fattening, but if you are a fast loser, your body works it off so fast you don't have to put in any effort to maintain your weight.  If you're slow to lose weight, you end up wearing that weight much longer and it piles up slowly.  That can make it all the harder to maintain a healthy weight.  Also, some people need to scale back more than others just to lose a pound.  If I scale back only a couple of hundred calories a day that's not going to do anything.  I have to scale back something like 500 calories to lose anything even if my starting calorie average is not that high.  So there are other factors involved in this too. 

Of course I know what it's like to be a naturally thin person that doesn't have to work to stay thin, because I was one for most of my life.  I used to think I was doing all the right things because after all, I had the body to "prove" it.  Meanwhile when I think back to what I used to be able to eat even with periods of little to no exercise, like when I was so busy in undergrad. and grad. school that I had less time for it, I can't believe what I used to get away with and still stay 110 lbs.

Someone said in another post something about 50 being the age when things change.  For me it changed about 7 years earlier but dieting was easier before menopause so I was able to postpone a "weight problem" with that for a few years, but it did get harder (and eventually impossible) every year leading up to age 52 which was when I had my last period.  Now it's so difficult for me to lose/maintain that I go up and down and am still about 30 lbs. over what I want to be right now.

That said, I can believe that Janelle would be someone that would under-report her food intake.  Oh yeah.  

Edited November 6, 2019 by Yeah No

[Mahamid Frauded Me]

12 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Y'all  - Our family is going through a really bad time right now, with an uncertain future for my son, who is very seriously ill, but when I read all your hilarious comments I laughed out loud for the first time in a long time.  So thanks.  That Janelle - what can one say.  Bless her heart.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.. 

[AZChristian]

14 hours ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

Let me know when she finds one of these, apparently she claims its very elusive, can be quite scary  and it always lies.

 

Kind of like Kody.

[TurtlePower]

15 hours ago, LilWharveyGal said:

I thought this had to be a joke, a la @Mahamid Frauded Me's parodies.  There are no words.  I just can't.  Wow.

I also thought Mahamid Frauded Me was joking. I thought, “This is a good one!” 
 

Janelle didn’t know about fruit/vegetable peelers? I just, can’t. I can’t without crossing a line because I didn’t think anyone who lived in the modern world was that dumb, let alone someone with a damn health certification. 
 

She seriously needs it revoked. 

[Sandy W]

3 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

I also thought Mahamid Frauded Me was joking. I thought, “This is a good one!” 
 

Janelle didn’t know about fruit/vegetable peelers? I just, can’t. I can’t without crossing a line because I didn’t think anyone who lived in the modern world was that dumb, let alone someone with a damn health certification. 
 

She seriously needs it revoked. 

She's just getting started.  She has enough material here for 3 - 4 blogs, she can expound upon the relative merits of various style peelers.  All metal or combination of metal/plastic, horizontal vs vertical construction...and just wait til someone awakens her to that pointy thingy at the tip of the peeler, just the thing for digging out the eyes or blemishes on potatoes.

[Irate Panda]

8 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

One of the ass kissers on her IG actually said that because of Janelle's brilliant post she just realized she can use a peeler for apples!

Another called Janelle a GENIUS for figuring out you can use a peeler on squash!

Some don't even read what the post is about and just keep heaping on the praise.  🙄

[xwordfanatik]

15 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Y'all  - Our family is going through a really bad time right now, with an uncertain future for my son, who is very seriously ill, but when I read all your hilarious comments I laughed out loud for the first time in a long time.  So thanks.  That Janelle - what can one say.  Bless her heart.

Sending good thoughts your way, LL.