Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)

[DakotaJustice]

41 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

If those are her youngest, she might do well to forget about shilling all the health coaching stuff and go get a 9-to-5 job.  She seemed happiest with that, way back when the show started.

But she's so incredibly busy!!! 

😂😂😂😂

[Sandy W]

7 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

But she's so incredibly busy!!! 

😂😂😂😂

She has all those loyal StriFe followers anxiously awaiting the next pearl of wisdom from their Health Coach.  Why would she work a regular 9-5 and benefit only the company that employs her when she can reach the masses and share her latest google Rockstar from the comfort of her recliner.

[ginger90]

Walked the dogs and pushed through some yard work this morning.  Now its mid-morning and I’m inside.  I’m so hot from the work that I feel myself getting crabby.

Watermelon, Strawberry and Basil smoothie to the rescue!
According to the ancient Ayurvedic medicine (over 5,000 years old, older than even Chinese medicine)

Watermelon:

Cools the body and overheated blood and helps the body purge water being retained.  A fun side note, watermelon helps relax the eyes, in fact,  1.5 servings of watermelon a day have been shown to reduce the risk of age related macular degeneration by 36%. 
 
Strawberry:

Stimulates the body’s production of fluids and moisturizes muscles.  A fun side note, strawberries can help dislodge undigested food as it works to reduce the heaviness in the body

Basil:

Has been shown to help with the treatment of diabetes as it helps stabilize blood sugar, calm inflammation, relax muscles, and helps you sweat. It’s bitter taste accents the sweet of the watermelon.

Recipe sourced from one of my favorite places - Simple Green Smoothie.  I am betting you could easily figure your own proportions out or find something on the web 🙂

[Gramto6]

Geeze Janelle, how hard is it really to post a recipe?

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

" I am betting you could easily figure your own proportions out or find something on the web."

Really? Really? How lazy can she be??

[DakotaJustice]

Watermelon and basil?!?

"Pushed through some yard work"? 

And then vegetated in the house for the rest of this beautiful day 🙄

[athousandclowns]

On 7/12/2019 at 8:17 AM, TurtlePower said:

There she goes, buying a giant bottle of Magic Potion that'll wind up on the shelf next to the molasses and everything else that didn't work after 3 days. 

Maybe she should try a smoothie with all of them and report back to us: Fish oil, tahini, molasses and the rest of her nutritional "rock stars" as ingredients. 

Think it has to be refrigerated as I had to take that nasty ass stuff as a kid. I am not positive why (my brothers didn’t.)  I would  be anemic off and on. Nasty  I tell you. 

[laurakaye]

11 hours ago, Gramto6 said:

Geeze Janelle, how hard is it really to post a recipe?

Really? Really? How lazy can she be??

This irks me more than anything.  She probably tells her 8 followers to figure the recipe out for themselves because she herself looks at a recipe and sees that one must chop, peel and measure, gets overwhelmed, and just throws handfuls of fruit - seeds, skin and all - and other assorted things into a blender and calls it good.

At least when Jill Duggar posts a horrible photo of the cream of slop she makes, she also posts the recipe.

[Sandy W]

7 hours ago, athousandclowns said:

Think it has to be refrigerated as I had to take that nasty ass stuff as a kid. I am not positive why (my brothers didn’t.)  I would  be anemic off and on. Nasty  I tell you. 

Not to "one-up you" but I too was anemic as an adolescent and was prescribed a tablespoon of RAW liver each day. The pulp was scraped with a spoon and I could add salt and pepper to taste, I learned to swallow in one gulp, rather than savor the texture.  My mother thought it helped by admonishing me that it was calves liver rather than the cheaper pork or beef liver.  The procedure was abandoned after a few weeks, I think my parents took pity on me and I remained rail thin but still managed to make every athletic team I tried out for.  I have no idea why a doctor would advise this treatment rather than iron pills, maybe back in those prehistoric times, the iron pill supplement hadn't yet been invented.

[Irate Panda]

Why do I feel like this is Axel when Janelle gives him some Rockstar smoothies before more good old canned cabbage.

[Kohola3]

13 minutes ago, Irate Panda said:

Why do I feel like this is Axel when Janelle gives him some Rockstar smoothies before more good old canned cabbage.

That kid is WAY more animated than Axel seems to be.  Every picture makes him look kind of, well, dull.

[Irate Panda]

2 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

That kid is WAY more animated than Axel seems to be.  Every picture makes him look kind of, well, dull.

Looks like Kody, has Janelle’s energy level.

[ginger90]

Janelle is at Maddie’s. She expects to be there a month. She put up a video, which I could not watch until the end. She said the word barrier so many times, I couldn’t take it.

So, she joined a gym near Maddie’s house because apparently without that membership there was a barrier. Work, and school were mentioned. The barrier to accomplishing them? The laptop was in a bag. Removing her laptop from the bag was how she removed the barrier.

Done.

screenshot:

3 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Edited August 2, 2019 by ginger90

[LilWharveyGal]

Hold the phone!  Does that mean that someone else gets the privilege of raising Gabe for a month?  *faints*

And I suppose her ayurvedic mumbo jumbo is the "school," but what is the "work?"  More posts like this nonsense?

[BradandJanet]

The woman needs a dentist. Does she not know the problems plaque can cause?

[ginger90]

19 minutes ago, LilWharveyGal said:

Hold the phone!  Does that mean that someone else gets the privilege of raising Gabe for a month?  *faints*

According to Janelle, her mom is at Janelle’s, and Meri, Robyn, and Christine are helping out.

I guess she doesn’t know, Meri is in Chicago, and Christine is in Utah at the moment.

[Galloway Cave]

If she has a real job, how was she able to take a whole month off to go to NC? Hell, if she does have a job, she has only been there for less than a year. No job I know of lets a new employee leave for a month.

[xwordfanatik]

2 hours ago, BradandJanet said:

The woman needs a dentist. Does she not know the problems plaque can cause?

I've noticed her red gums in several seasons.  Apparently some of the adults don't make dental health a priority.  Hey Browns, you're on TV, and it matters.

[suomi]

I think it looks like she's wearing an appliance (a clear one) or gel strips. It looks like it wraps around the side on her uppers and makes a line across the top of her lowers.

[ginger90]

[xwordfanatik]

Her mom, I believe.  Her sister wives?  I don't think so, unless it's Christine.  Meri's off somewhere pushing her LLN rags, and Robyn's got Kootie all to herself, as usual.

Once again, Axel is looking glum.  He's such a sad sack.

[Sandy W]

4 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

Her mom, I believe.  Her sister wives?  I don't think so, unless it's Christine.  Meri's off somewhere pushing her LLN rags, and Robyn's got Kootie all to herself, as usual.

Once again, Axel is looking glum.  He's such a sad sack.

It's only very recently that Axel has been photographed without the soother/binky in his mouth and I think I have only seen one shot of him with a genuine smile on his face.

Edited August 3, 2019 by Sandy W
forgot a word

[DakotaJustice]

2 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

Once again, Axel is looking glum.  He's such a sad sack.

Clearly he takes after Grandma.

[ginger90]

[Shieldmaiden]

33 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

Such awkward phrasing and blatant mistakes...”Kale” capitalized...”make so good food”...Axels little truck” (no apostrophe)...and no question mark at the end. Maybe if the content was more inspiring or interesting I might overlook the errors, but c’mon!!

[Kohola3]

1 hour ago, Shieldmaiden said:

Maybe if the content was more inspiring or interesting I might overlook the errors, but c’mon!!

Or if the food looked the least bit appetizing.  Just a bowl of green stuff smooshed up.  Ugh.

[deirdra]

Is Janelle asking her subscribers for strategies to eat as healthily as possible while away from home?  Janelle should be paying THEM for advice.  

Edited August 9, 2019 by deirdra

[DakotaJustice]

My kale salads look much better than that. 

I don’t think she massaged the kale. Makes a huge difference. 

I start with the bagged Sweet Kale kit and before adding the toppings and dressing I massage the hell out of the greens and add extra kale and broccoli slaw to it. Sometimes a little farro or quinoa. 

[Nysha]

 

 

 

 

2 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

start with the bagged Sweet Kale kit and before adding the toppings and dressing I massage the hell out of the greens...

How do you massage the kale and why?

[Sandy W]

1 hour ago, DakotaJustice said:

My kale salads look much better than that. 

I don’t think she massaged the kale. Makes a huge difference. 

I start with the bagged Sweet Kale kit and before adding the toppings and dressing I massage the hell out of the greens and add extra kale and broccoli slaw to it. Sometimes a little farro or quinoa. 

You're a culinary gal after my own heart.  I consider the sweet kale kit a base and add whatever I have handy, sliced strawberries, blueberries, diced oranges or apples, lightly steamed, crisp asparagus, sliced mushrooms, chopped chicken or ham...the possibilities are endless to turn the kit into a full meal deal.  I have never massaged my kale but will give it a try. Thanks for the hint.

Edited August 9, 2019 by Sandy W
punctuation

[Higgins]

He's a baby. Maybe he doesn't preform for the camera. I don't think he is an unhappy child because the internet hasn't seen him smiling. 

[DakotaJustice]

@Nysha I wasn't able to get the quote button to work but that's a great question.  Massaging kale is the same as tenderizing a tough cut of meat.  Only you do it differently.  It makes it easier to eat and seems to "absorb" more of the dressing and flavors you might want to add.  Basically you just squish the bejeezus out of it with your hands.  Here's a link!

https://fitfoodiefinds.com/how-to-massage-kale/

I don't think the Sweet Kale Kits (I use both the Eat Smart from Costco and the Taylor Farms Sweet Kale Kit) are massaged and I don't think there's enough greenery in them to begin with so I'll add some Dino Kale or a bag of TJ's kale to the greens, then use my CLEAN hands and maybe a little lemon juice and just squeeze squeeze squeeze.  It makes a HUGE difference.

[RubySoho]

11 hours ago, lma said:

Why is “didn’t” a hashtag? Wonder what photos people have posted under the word “didn’t”? 🤔 You had one job, Janelle ...

She could have been trying to say something like #didntwanttomissthebaby & got autocorrected with an apostrophe, which just bungled the whole thing. See how only the “don” part of “don’t” is actually linked to the tag? 

[DakotaJustice]

On 8/9/2019 at 6:37 AM, lma said:

Yeah, had no idea that if my feet are cool, it cools the rest of me! /snark

Why is “didn’t” a hashtag? Wonder what photos people have posted under the word “didn’t”? 🤔 You had one job, Janelle ...

Also, wonder if her camping involved a teepee?

Lastly and the main thing I wanted to say is she knows damn well her sister wives aren’t helping with her kids. I do not believe that at all; however, I don’t put it past one of them to do a photo op to make it look as if they are actually helping to take care of a sister wife’s kids. (Kody, get on that stat!)

PS...I do think this little photo is pretty cute.

Cute pic but poor Axel just doesn't have a smiley face. 

ETA and you'll never be able to convince me that the tipi wasnt actually a passive agressive ruse that Janelle used to try and get Kody's attention.

Edited August 10, 2019 by DakotaJustice

[Meowwww]

Ugh. The hashtags kill me. 

They are supposed to be searchable, followable things.  For example, I follow #London and #Saddlebreds.  That way I get all the posts/photos tagged with those hashtags. 

They’re not supposed to be cutesy sayings.  Blah. 

[Juliegirlj]

Is that little kale salad supposed to feed Janelle, Maddie, Caleb and Axel ?! 

[TurtlePower]

Anyone else feel like it's not even fun any more to point out Janelle's cluelessness? She doesn't get it, she'll never get it even if she gets smacked in the head with it. She'll never understand that health advice from an invariably fat, slothy, dullard of a woman doesn't have value. 

No, not our Janelle. "Lose weight first, keep it off, then tell us how you did it" is too much work for this imbecile. 

Edited August 10, 2019 by TurtlePower

[xwordfanatik]

It is rather pathetic.  Snarkworthy and sad at the same time.

I love @Mahamid Frauded Me's parody posts, though.  Strife is better than Strive.

[DakotaJustice]

52 minutes ago, Juliegirlj said:

Is that little kale salad supposed to feed Janelle, Maddie, Caleb and Axel ?! 

I suspect she made it just for social media. 

Then they went to McDonald's.

(I remember my sister absolutely CRAVED mcd's when she was pregnant!!)

Edited August 10, 2019 by DakotaJustice

[ginger90]

4 pictures:

[xwordfanatik]

Axel looks sort of happy, for once.  But Janelle, please!  Simple carbs are not your friend.  How is that breakfast the least bit healthy for someone who is "trying to lose weight?"

Clueless as usual.

[DakotaJustice]

That breakfast doesn't look the LEAST BIT amazing to me.  it just looks like a lot of sugar.  Waffles can be delicious, but not that way.

[Galloway Cave]

gawddam those waffles look good.

ETA: Ha! Goes to show, one person's ick is another person's yum. The first pic of waffles looks good to me.

Edited August 10, 2019 by Galloway Cave

[DakotaJustice]

2 minutes ago, Galloway Cave said:

gawddam those waffles look good.

ETA: Ha! Goes to show, one person's ick is another person's yum. The first pic of waffles looks good to me.

It looks like a fast-food place.  Syrup in a little plastic cup and crappy waffles with Fruity Pebbles sprinkled on top.  

I don't have waffles often (I do own a waffle iron though, it's not a Belgian one - i like my waffles on the traditional side, not super thick, preferably with a bit of a crusty outside and fluffy inside) but when I DO make them, I like making overnight waffles.  they are so yummy!  https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1016179-simple-yeasted-waffles

[ginger90]

Ready?

[Kohola3]

Another gallon jug of the latest whim to add to her already overcrowded larder, never to be used again.

Wonder how it tastes mixed with ghee.

[xwordfanatik]

Paging our Strife master, @Mahamid Frauded Me!  

So this is Janelle's solution to burn off the waffle + toppings calories?  OK then.  😜

[Roslyn]

1 hour ago, Kohola3 said:

Another gallon jug of the latest whim to add to her already overcrowded larder, never to be used again.

Wonder how it tastes mixed with ghee.

...don't forget chia seeds and molasses!!

[TurtlePower]

14 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

Axel looks sort of happy, for once.  But Janelle, please!  Simple carbs are not your friend.  How is that breakfast the least bit healthy for someone who is "trying to lose weight?"

Clueless as usual.

Yeeeeeup. And our professional Janelle thinks that a trip to a park can work off waffles. 

13 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Ready?

Jesus, no fucking shit, Janelle. I've known this for 25 years. "Who knew it could be so awesome?" Everyone else. 

[Shieldmaiden]

16 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Ready?

Wow she talks about her digestion a lot...It’s literally something I never think about. I wonder what’s going on down there?! (Shudder)

[dreadfulLeigh]

1 hour ago, Shieldmaiden said:

Wow she talks about her digestion a lot...It’s literally something I never think about. I wonder what’s going on down there?! (Shudder)

Right!? I have bowel disease and I’m pretty sure I think less about my digestion than she does. 

As if her sad digestion “issues” are the lone reason behind her weight.