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Favorite Quotes: "What the hell goes on at night in this house?!"


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Rose to Merrill the convict =You don't want to met Blanche, she's ugly.

Blanche -No she's not,she's gorgeous, gorgeous gorgeous.

Merrill  I'll be back and leaves.

Blanche And stupid, stupid,stupid!

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Dorothy to the nurse taking care of and spoiling Sophia.  I am Pussy Cat 1. You are Pussy Cat 2.

Edited by One Tough Cookie
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16 hours ago, One Tough Cookie said:

Rose to Melvin the convict =You don't want to met Blanche, she's ugly.

Blanche -No she's not,she's gorgeous, gorgeous gorgeous.

Melvin:  I'll be back and leaves.

Blanche And stupid, stupid,stupid!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dorothy to the nurse taking care of and spoiling Sophia.  I am Pussy Cat 1. You are Pussy Cat 2.

Not for you nursy nurse nurse nurse 

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17 hours ago, One Tough Cookie said:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dorothy to the nurse taking care of and spoiling Sophia.  I am Pussy Cat 1. You are Pussy Cat 2.

This is one of my all-time favorites! Bea took a low-hanging homophone gag (Nurse: “You’re ‘Pussycat,’ too?”) and killed the delivery, I flove that quote!

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I don't like the Mammy Watkins episode, but there are some really funny moments in it. Like when Blanche just assumes Mammy wants Big Daddy's Bible and she says, "No thanks, I don't drink." I love the way Dorothy intones "Mammy Eisenhower," followed by, "I think only the Nixon kids were allowed to call her that."

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On 6/8/2018 at 12:03 AM, MoistestCake said:

Rose comes out of her room with 2 buckets. Dorothy asks if her roof is leaking too. Rose says:" No, I just finished milking the cows I keep in my closet. I'm sorry, with just 3 hours sleep I can be as bitchy as you."

On 6/8/2018 at 10:17 AM, Mabinogia said:

That is one of my all time favorites. I love those little moments when Rose shows her bitchy side. Probably because she's usually so sweet and naïve, that it's sometimes hard for the others to know if she's being sarcastic or not.

And isn't this the very basis for Bea Aurthur not getting along well with Betty White?  Bea couldn't tell if Betty White was really that sweet and easy going, or if it was just a put on.

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On 2/28/2019 at 7:06 PM, TheLastKidPicked said:

And isn't this the very basis for Bea Aurthur not getting along well with Betty White?  Bea couldn't tell if Betty White was really that sweet and easy going, or if it was just a put on.

I get the feeling that Betty is more Sue Ann than Rose. 

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I know Uncle Angelo wasn't everyone's favorite but he did have a few good lines. During the Hurricane/Save the Mckinley lighthouse episode Sophia gets in a fight with Dorothy and goes to Angelo's apartment:

"Angelo, I'm in trouble."

"Then the boy will marry you!"

There was also the Dorothy and Stan are slumlords episode when Angelo is interviewed on tv and they're talking about the bug problem. I can't remember the exact line but he says the "bugs appear to be laughing at us" after being sprayed with bug spray.

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On 3/12/2019 at 3:59 PM, MaggieG said:

I know Uncle Angelo wasn't everyone's favorite but he did have a few good lines. 

I like the time Sophia disappears and Blanche calls Angelo to say She needs him - Sophia isn't home... And he turns up ready for a date... 

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On 3/16/2019 at 10:02 PM, MoistestCake said:

I like the time Sophia disappears and Blanche calls Angelo to say She needs him - Sophia isn't home... And he turns up ready for a date... 

Angelo: “You mean I shaved my shoulders for nothing?”

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On 2/28/2019 at 2:06 PM, TheLastKidPicked said:

And isn't this the very basis for Bea Aurthur not getting along well with Betty White?  Bea couldn't tell if Betty White was really that sweet and easy going, or if it was just a put on.

From what I've heard, it was mostly that Bea felt that Betty was an annoying attention whore, and that her interactions with the audience during filming were inappropriate.

But that certainly could have been an underlying factor.

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Forgive Me Father--Dorothy thinks  a priest  is leaving the order because of her. She invites him over for dinner and is deciding what to wear Blanch decides to help her out and says "Take chance--be a A WOMAN". Cracks me up every tme.

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3 minutes ago, One Tough Cookie said:

Forgive Me Father--Dorothy thinks  a priest  is leaving the order because of her. She invites him over for dinner and is deciding what to wear Blanch decides to help her out and says "Take chance--be a A WOMAN". Cracks me up every tme.

One of my favorite lines from that show, I look like the mother of a Solid Gold dancer.

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21 minutes ago, One Tough Cookie said:

Forgive Me Father--Dorothy thinks  a priest  is leaving the order because of her. She invites him over for dinner and is deciding what to wear Blanch decides to help her out and says "Take chance--be a A WOMAN". Cracks me up every tme.

I love how Dorothy responds "It's a lot to ask, Blanche, but I'll try" and kind of claws at Blanche's face.

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(edited)

One funny quote that always comes to mind is the John Quinn episode:

John: Hello, John Quinn.

Rose: Hello, I'm Rose, Blanche's roommate. Won't you come in?

John: Uh, could you give me a hand?

Rose: Sure! *claps*

It cracks me up every time.

Edited by Eri
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Someone I worked with actually said, “I’m off!” and I got to use, “That’d be my diagnosis.” Lolololololol. Everyone paused and then burst out laughing. I gave credit to GG, of course, but I almost couldn’t believe I got to say it. It was so much fun.

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6 hours ago, Kiddvideo said:

Someone I worked with actually said, “I’m off!” and I got to use, “That’d be my diagnosis.” Lolololololol. Everyone paused and then burst out laughing. I gave credit to GG, of course, but I almost couldn’t believe I got to say it. It was so much fun.

I've used that line too, it is fun!

Or I'll use a Dorothy zinger depending on how cheeky I feel. 

"No that wasn't a secret,  I just forgot to mention it"

I passed by a bookstore and outside there were books in a clearance bin, one in particular from Marlo Thomas and I immediately wondered if Rose ever got her autograph.

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On 8/24/2019 at 7:59 AM, Eri said:

I've used that line too, it is fun!

Or I'll use a Dorothy zinger depending on how cheeky I feel. 

"No that wasn't a secret,  I just forgot to mention it"

I passed by a bookstore and outside there were books in a clearance bin, one in particular from Marlo Thomas and I immediately wondered if Rose ever got her autograph.

But did you think she's still interested in an autograph after Marlo's father broke Rose's heart by being a lesbian?

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Pervert answering Dorothy's personal ad: Here's your $8, Dorothy. Let's get started.

Rose: Oh, I'm not Dorothy. She's Dorothy.

Perv: (Looks at Dorothy) I'll give you $4, Dorothy. Let's get started.

Dorothy: How would you like to have your butt kicked right across the street?

Perv: Oh, here's the whole $8!

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On 9/25/2019 at 2:22 PM, mmecorday said:

Pervert answering Dorothy's personal ad: Here's your $8, Dorothy. Let's get started.

Rose: Oh, I'm not Dorothy. She's Dorothy.

Perv: (Looks at Dorothy) I'll give you $4, Dorothy. Let's get started.

Dorothy: How would you like to have your butt kicked right across the street?

Perv: Oh, here's the whole $8!

One of the funniest scenes of the series!

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18 hours ago, catlover79 said:

Who could forget the songwriting episode? 😂

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I still sing their jingle, LOL. And the whole scene where Blanche is trying to interrupt their song, and Rose is making suggestions after Dorothy says nothing rhymes with “Miami.”

”’Hootenanny’ is marginal, and I refuse to accept ‘salami [salammy].’” No self-respecting Brooklyn I-talian would, I suppose. 😉

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Also not a quote, but I always enjoy the moment when the girls are sitting and looking at the Christmas tree and Rose sings the first line of The First Noel and Blanche and Dorothy are just about to join it when Rose starts off with another story. Just them taking a breath to join in the singing and then getting Story Blocked always amuses me even though it's such a small thing.

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Speaking of The Actor episode, this exchange always cracks me up. Man, Bea was a master at those one liners. 

Dorothy: "It's kind of hard to stay mad at the guy. I don't know, there was something special about him. He made me feel beautiful". 

Blanche: "He made me feel young".

Rose: "He made me feel smart". 

*beat*

Dorothy: "God, what an actor".

Edited by truthaboutluv
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And this whole exchange in the Mary Had a Little Lamb episode (that I know isn't many people's favorite) always cracks me up. 

Dorothy: "Ma, what does Fred's dog have to do with this?"

Sophia: "It's a known fact that dogs take after their masters"

Dorothy: "Oh come on ma, that's ridiculous"

Sophia: "Oh yeah, then why does your brother Phil's poodle like running around on its hind legs wearing a pink tutu?"

Dorothy: "Oh come on ma, Phil would look pretty stupid doing that by himself"

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