S10.E05: Game Changer

[LotusFlower]

The second part of Meghan's comment:  "Hang in there.  You got this."  Um, OK.  Comforting.

A friend sent me a condolence card after one of my parents died many years ago that said "Hang in there." It annoyed me then, and all these years later, I still remember it. That being said, it's one of the few things in life I give people a pass on. A lot of people, maybe even most, are uncomfortable about the subject of death, don't know what to say, and often say dumb or insensitive things. Remember, as Shannon keeps reminding us (and that's another subject!), Meghan's young. Young and (a little) dumb, maybe? She'll learn.

[swankie]

Even though I don't like Vic, my heart breaks for her. It's so hard to lose parents. 

 

I found myself crying like a baby watching this.  I learned of my mom's death over the phone also and I did exactly what Vicki did.  I just fell to the floor.  I think they should have stopped filming and the crew and producers should have gone in there to comfort her once they found out what the phone call was about.  I swear, people are just becoming so coldhearted these days.  Bravo and their execs are the lowest of the low if you ask me. 

[breezy424]

What happened was 'probably' real but it felt like it was a reenactment.  Says a lot about Vickie. 

 

And yes, she was composed enough to call her brother and put it on speaker phone so everyone, including the viewers, can hear.  Really?  Who does that? 

[swankie]

I know people grieve differently, but Vicki still managed to make it about her with "who's going to worry about me?". That being said, I felt badly for her.

 

 

I give Vicki a pass on this one.  You tend to revert back to childlike behavior when you just learn that your mom died. 

[LotusFlower]

How sad that bravo has us all so cynical! I think the scene was real, and I will continue to do so (possibly in a willfully ignorant manner) in order to hang on to my last shred of faith in humanity. Because just thinking of someone recreating that reaction for TV time makes me feel ill.

Me too. If you watch Andy's interview with Vicki, there's no way it wasn't real. Vicki shows more perspective, too, and talks about the order of life, the realities of life, etc. She even said something that was so reality TV veteran-ish (in a bad way) - she talked about how her mother's death was so unexpected because she was relatively healthy, whereas if someone was going to die this season, she thought it was going to be Brooks. This season! Not this year, but this season on the Real Housewives of the OC....!

[phoenix780]

I give them all a pass for the reactions in the moment, because I think it really was in the moment...or else these women are far better actresses than I previously thought.  I think I'm soft when it comes to things that feel like real emotional reactions to me, though.  It's all the other contrived BS I judge.

 

I don't know exactly where I'll land with these scenes.  My immediate reaction...I understand filming and airing it because it happened. There's still something really gross about how it blended into a Somber Andy promo for his show and a really loud commercial for their scripted program of the moment.  I don't know if it's possible to televise unscripted death in a way that wouldn't be uncomfortable as a viewer (um, I'd hope not, anyway); I'd still like to believe it could have been treated with a little more respect.  Maybe some space around it- even 3-5 seconds before jumping into the scripted show's commercial would have felt better, I think.  And the montage at the end didn't, for me, offset the way it was exploited.  

 

But, I watched every second of it, fascinated and emotional.  I'm talking about it now, which ultimately is what I believe pop culture should do (drive conversations, whether serious or inane).  So I can't exactly mount a high horse on this one.  

[AnnaMayWong]

I was with my beloved father at the time of his passing. He was standing then slowly crumpled to the ground--dead. At his funeral, I was TOLD that I grabbed the casket and had to be quite forcibly moved away by my brother. It has been 12 years and I am still not "over it".

My mother (definitely the familial matriarch) passed 3 years ago. Both my sister and I were with her. I crawled into my mother's bed and remotely heard the doctor debating about giving a sedative to me. My sister who conversed daily with my mother shook my mother and continuously begged and pleaded with my mother to "WAKE UP!" upon her last exhalation. She remains extremely emotional about my mother especially when people tell her that they are happy that she is "getting over it".

I have blank spaces in my recollections of both my parents' funerals. Also, the realization that my mother and father would not EVER be seen by me--never ever again--hit me with such force that, at times, I felt breathless with the breadth of that absolute.

With and despite my humble acknowledgement for the thoughts and opinions of others, one is unable to truly prepare for THE Very idea of No More Parent(s).

Edited July 7, 2015 by BookElitist

[Cosmocrush]

Never mind.

Edited July 7, 2015 by Cosmocrush

[Irritable]

I have no problem with Vicki being devastated, shocked, heartbroken beyond consolation in her grief.  I lost my mother when I was 34, and even though in her final years I was more of the grown-up than she was, I still had moments of feeling like a child again.  11 years later there are times I still quietly want my mommy. I'm not giving a side-eye to any of that.  What is hard for me, especially because it was like reliving dealing with narcissists in my own life during huge family losses, is that witnessing a narcissist's version of grieving can make it really hard to want to give them your emotional support.  I found myself going from genuine sympathy - or maybe it was empathy because I was grieving, also - to being so completely disgusted and dumbfounded by the gross things these people said that by the end of it all I was just sickened and angered by their selfishness and wanted to get the hell away from them.  I started feeling the same way watching Vicki tonight.  And I think the deal  on these shows is that everything gets filmed, period, but ultrasensitive material can be requested to be withheld from airing under special circumstances.  If Vicki asked for this to be edited way down to exclude a lot of her first hearing the news, or struck from the show completely, it would have been.  Talking heads could have handed a lot of that.  But Vicki truly believes that she is the star of this show - she has said that out loud, on camera - and as much as she craves attention, worship, acknowledgment, gratitude, recognition, adoration, love and yes, even pity, it's not any shock to me she would be okay with all of it being shown the way it was.  In her mind, it means more people will talk about her, and she would rather have a thousand people saying "OMG, poor Vicki!" than one person saying, "I'm glad Vicki chose not to have that footage aired, it was the right thing to do", any day.

 

Everything that came out of Vicki's mouth was about how her mother's death was so unfair for Vicki.  And maybe I'm just hardened and jaded by the enormous bunch of shit I have witnessed in my years, but when Vicki started yelling "Wake her up!" I instantly felt that the real part was over, and now she was playing it up for the cameras.  Or maybe not the cameras, maybe just for the people in the room with her, but either way, it seemed like acting to me.  I would not be surprised at all if someone reported that she shouted those same words at her mother's funeral, just for the drama and shock value, and to make sure everybody knows damn good and well that the worst thing about that lady dying is how much it has ruined Vicki's life.   Call me crazy, but when I lose someone I love, I talk about the special things about them I will miss, the things I wish they could be around to experience themselves, how much I hope they knew how loved they were.  The only time Vicki talked about her mother, the person, was when it was so obviously prompted by a producer.  And even then she still finished it by saying she got her mom's great attitude, because everyone in her world exists as just a cog in the wheel that turns Vicki's Life.  Her mom, her children, Brooks, even her friends, they are all characters in Vicki's story, and their roles are to love her, worry about her, support her, thank her, tell her they adore her, commend her success and tell her how wonderful she is all the damn time.  Vicki thinks she loves people, but she has a personality disorder that doesn't allow her to feel or understand love in its pure form - she loves people who are in her life that somehow reflect well upon her, or are to be controlled by her (children) or serve to feed her ego and never-ending desperate need to be affirmed (boyfriend, parents, friends).  I suppose knowing that she has this personality disorder should make me feel bad for her, but it doesn't.  I find narcissism impossible to stomach, and while I don't doubt that Vicki went into a true panic when she heard that her mom died, the panic was for herself, not for her mom.  Not for her brother who had the unfortunate task of finding her.  Only Vicki. And even if it's beyond her control, it grosses me out.

 

Meghan just gets worse and worse for me.  I've never seen someone beat such a tiny dead horse for so long in my life.  Yes, Shannon got mad at the party when Meghan confronted her about the phone call, but she didn't explode, she didn't smash windows and run screaming into the night, she expressed her anger in words and left the room.  BFD.  I don't get why Meghan continues to act like Shannon isn't safe to be around or have in her home - if David is gaslighting Shannon, then maybe Meghan is in cahoots, because it all just seems too weird and petty to even be an actual thing.  Also, no matter how I felt about Vicki's reaction to her mother's death, Meghan didn't belong anywhere near Vicki afterward.  Bitch, you don't even know these women yet, back away and let them try to comfort this person they have all known for years, your little knee-pat and "Hang in there, you've got this!" are not needed.

Edited July 7, 2015 by Irritable

[Pollock]

A friend sent me a condolence card after one of my parents died many years ago that said "Hang in there." It annoyed me then, and all these years later, I still remember it. That being said, it's one of the few things in life I give people a pass on. A lot of people, maybe even most, are uncomfortable about the subject of death, don't know what to say, and often say dumb or insensitive things.

Yeah, it's uncanny. My sister, 33 years old with a 17 months child at the time, lost her husband 6 month ago January the 1st from an anevrism (and we lost our father 5 weeks after that... 2015... good times...). Anyway... some family after the wake said to her "you're young, you'll find another husband". Wait whaaaaaaaaaat? She just lost the love of her life and the father of her child, I'm pretty sure the fucking problem right now isn't that she fears she will not remarry. I know people didn't want to be mean or anything but who says that?

 

If you don't know what to say, just stay silent, or give a hug if you must, give assurance you're there if the person needs anything, or say you're sorry and move out of here. 

Pfewww... I thought I have moved on from my wrath at the time but no, I'm still profusely furious when I think about it!

 

 

ETA : too much profanity when I'm furious, sorry for that, I deleted some. I should have magic crystals to keep me calm when I think about it! 

Edited July 7, 2015 by Pollock

[Cosmocrush]

 

Heather, does he really have to watch hair cuts?  Enjoy dinner already.  What's up with these rich chicks? 

 

Right?  If my husband was building me a house the size of a mall I would probably cut him some slack about showing up for a hair cut.  It's not like she wasn't on her phone the whole time anyway.  Who knew that was quality family time?   I used to drop the kids off at the hair place in the mall and walk down to shop at the  makeup counter in Macy's lol. 

Edited July 7, 2015 by Cosmocrush

[Eliz]

That was brutal. It's just impossible to watch that and not either remember yourself in a similar situation or picture it happening to yourself in the future. It's gut-wrenching. I think Vicky is basically a disaster of a human being, and it all came out of her in disastrous Vicky fashion. But I also cut her slack in that moment. On the question of whether Bravo should have stopped filming, I think that if it really did just happen while they were already filming, it's okay that they kept going. Personally, I would have aired less of the footage, because at a certain point it started to feel gross. But I 100% believe that Vicky is perfectly glad to have it all shown. And the preview seemed to indicate that 

cameras went home with Vicky and Brooks and kept filming. That is MUCH more disturbing to me, that neither Vicky nor Bravo said okay, we lucked into the amazing footage at the bunco party, but let's draw the line when she leaves Shannon's house.

[MsDiva2007]

As someone who lost their own mother in 2003 from Colon cancer you never know how you react. there is no perfect reaction to a death. My mom had  been suffering for years so I knew she was dying. I can't imagine my reaction to find out she died unexpectedly and not known to have been ill. I was kind of off put by Vicki making it all about Vicki but then again that is who she is. 

[Irritable]

some family after the wake said to her "you're young, you'll find another husband". Wait whaaaaaaaaaat? She just lost the love of her life and the father of her child, I'm pretty sure the fucking problem right now isn't that she fears she will not remarry.

 

 

Not to beat the narcissist drum too hard here, but reading that reminded me of when my brother was killed at the age of 35, leaving behind 2 young children...when I went to his house the next day and sat down next to my sister-in-law, I took her hand, told her how sorry I was, and I SHIT YOU NOT, THIS IS WHAT SHE SAID: "I'm too young to be a widow!  Am I supposed to just never have sex again???"  Ummmm......how do you respond to that? I have no idea what I even said, but I was able to look back later once I had cooled off and remind myself that my SiL is a narcissist, I knew that before, and everything she said and did from the moment my brother died was textbook, bordering on sociopath.  So what I'm taking too long to say here, is that the person who said that horrible thing to your sister?  Was probably a narcissist.  That person assumed finding a new husband would be her first concern, because it would have been theirs, so in a seriously messed up way, they likely thought those were comforting words.  I honestly find it kind of scary, people walking around among us, looking normal but really they are almost like vampires inside.

[WireWrap]

Me too. If you watch Andy's interview with Vicki, there's no way it wasn't real. Vicki shows more perspective, too, and talks about the order of life, the realities of life, etc. She even said something that was so reality TV veteran-ish (in a bad way) - she talked about how her mother's death was so unexpected because she was relatively healthy, whereas if someone was going to die this season, she thought it was going to be Brooks. This season! Not this year, but this season on the Real Housewives of the OC....!

IMO, just mine, no matter if it was filmed in real time or reenacted, her emotions were real, the pain, the loss, the fear, the shock, the finality of her mothers death, was and is real.

[Cosmocrush]

Debra Messing on WWHL looks fantastic.  She hasn't aged in ten years. Whatever she's doing, it's working.     Allie Wentworth is looking pretty good too for that matter. 

[Cosmocrush]

And I give Brooks some props tonight how he was there for Vicki in her time of need. We can say alot about him as an individual but he was good in support of Vicki in this episode.

 

 

 

Eh, color me unimpressed.  He's like an agent with one client.  He's jobless & penniless & fully dependent on her, so he's doing what he's being paid to do & that's it.  All I see when Brooks is on cam is a con man & nothing else.

 

Ha!  I think that's a perfect description of Crooks. 

[Lablover27]

I'm sorry for my fellow posters here who lost their parents.  I couldn't imagine.  If I could give you all a hug I would.  You remind me to call my parents every day.  Matter of fact, I think I'll visit them this week end and just put on my sweats and spend time with them.  So, with that said, because of reading about all your losses, I will spend a wonderful week end with my 80 year old dad, 78 year old mommy.  xxoo

Edited July 7, 2015 by Lablover27

[swankie]

When all of the women were surrounding Vicki once they found out what happened, one of them, I'm not sure which one, told Vicki, "You have to be the strong one."  I wish people would think before saying asshole things like that.  One thing you should never do is tell someone how to grieve. 

 

Edited July 7, 2015 by swankie

[ScoobieDoobs]

Debra Messing on WWHL looks fantastic.  She hasn't aged in ten years. Whatever she's doing, it's working.     Allie Wentworth is looking pretty good too for that matter.

 

Hate to break it to you, but I think it's the hair & makeup people working miracles.  Saw her wandering around Tribeca last month, and man, she looked absolutely horrible, with no makeup & her hair looking like straw.  But she looked nice on WWHL, so good for her.  The idiot producers on the View shoulda hired Ali.  Eh, wasn't buying Andy's acting bit, of trying to be somber while discussing Vicks.

 

I'm not sure which one, told Vicki, "You have to be the strong one."

 

I think that was Jeana & that didn't bother me at all.  Look, it's really hard to know what to say to a grieving person.  Meghan did sorta try to be comforting, but she's an asshole so the best she could do was to STFU & offer some tissues.

 

Sheesh, could anyone imagine themselves being filmed immediately after finding out a parent has just died?  I mean, you're in freaking shock.  Who knows what kinda crazy shit you might say?  Who would wanna be filmed in such a moment?  I can't imagine it.

[savannah1985]

I guess I'm gonna be the cynical person here with the unpopular opinion, but I think Vickie is a real drama queen. I'm not saying she didn't love her mother and feel genuine pain at her loss, but she knew she was being filmed or she re-enacted what she already knew. Either way, it was a dramatic Sarah Bernhart reaction. Or it could be that I just hate her.

[Lablover27]

Not to beat the narcissist drum too hard here, but reading that reminded me of when my brother was killed at the age of 35, leaving behind 2 young children...when I went to his house the next day and sat down next to my sister-in-law, I took her hand, told her how sorry I was, and I SHIT YOU NOT, THIS IS WHAT SHE SAID: "I'm too young to be a widow!  Am I supposed to just never have sex again???"  Ummmm......how do you respond to that? I have no idea what I even said, but I was able to look back later once I had cooled off and remind myself that my SiL is a narcissist, I knew that before, and everything she said and did from the moment my brother died was textbook, bordering on sociopath.  So what I'm taking too long to say here, is that the person who said that horrible thing to your sister?  Was probably a narcissist.  That person assumed finding a new husband would be her first concern, because it would have been theirs, so in a seriously messed up way, they likely thought those were comforting words.  I honestly find it kind of scary, people walking around among us, looking normal but really they are almost like vampires inside.

Dang.  I will never joke about pushing Mr. Lab over the railing while he's changing a light bulb for the $2 million insurance policy.  That's some twisted stuff sweetie.  Your brother passed, way to early, so did mine  - alcoholism-roll over on the freeway - I remember thanking God he didn't hurt anyone else, it was a solo roll over, not wearing a seatbelt, ejected.  And I was thankful no one else was a victim.  Bizarre what we think about at a time like that.  Like Heather calling Terry.  I use to be a volunteer for a trauma intervention program.  I've heard it all.  I've walked into people's nightmares and it was my job to make sure their tragedy wasn't worsened.  A little girl's drowning.  A mom showing up at the accident site and I held her as she carressed her son's hand, a suicide, calming a brother down who wanted to go kill the bullies.  You just have to hug, hold, listen.  I've never said "You have be strong now."  In a couple of days, okay.  At that moment, no.  Just listen, hug, and touch.  My last moment, before I stopped was the drowning of a little 9 year girl in the family's pool. The police would call TIP and they were doing their job, I did mine. My daughter was 9.  I was there with her sister as the parents left for the hospital.  She took me into her room she shared with her sister. I'll never forget that scene...the sister's back pack hung on the bed, clothes all over, drawings, Brownie outfit. "I hope sissy comes home."  Then I was there when they broke the news to her.  I had to stop.  So, I'm not judging Vicki's response, whether it was re-enacted or not.  I hope not.

 

With that said, Meghead, I can spot fake sympathy when I see it.  That's all.  

 

COUGH....can we go back to snarking ;)  

Edited July 7, 2015 by Lablover27

[mwell345]

During the first part of the show, I was fully in snark mode, mostly aimed at Meghan and Heather (who managed to turn her segments into Botched commercials).

 

Then Vicki got the phone call.  My heart broke for her.

 

And Bravo filmed and then aired the whole thing.  Maybe Vicki gave her consent to air it, but I'm guessing she wasn't even consulted.  I have this vision of the cameras rolling while she's sobbing on the floor, and some producer saying "Keep filming, this is great stuff".

[bichonblitz]

RIP Vicki's mom. 

My mom died when I was 17. That was 40 years ago. The pain never, ever, goes away. All these years later, I still want my mommy.

And when my dad passed away in the hospital , I can still remember my brother standing by the bed saying, "C'mon, pops, wake up". 

Heartbreaking stuff.  I will give Vicki a pass on some of her comments because  you just don't know what the hell will come out of your mouth when you are greiving and in shock. 

Edited July 7, 2015 by bichonblitz

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

What happened to Vicks happened to me. My version of trying to make it go away was throwing the phone and screaming, begging pleading with my spouse to FIX IT and screaming NO for what seems like hours. And saying I needed to go see them. Just like Vicki did. You do some very brain stem primal unexplainable stuff at this news.

To everyone up thread who is also in these shoes losing a parent I am very sorry and I wish I could take your pain away.

Miss Priss Heather did well in my book, she is a pain in the ass but I can see she is a "do-er", props to Heather who tiptoed away and starting DOING by getting Brooks on the phone. That was good, and strong and independent and she did it with empathy and sensitivity.

Megan is a train wreck young, new money and no clue. The new Mr and Mrs Alexis Bellino.

[LVmom]

 I felt so sorry for Vicki-she's been a part of my regular tv viewing since season one, and partially the reason I never quit this franchise-even when Tamra's naked wasted almost killed it for me. It was like watching a friend and being helpless.

 

I did, however, love the glimpse into Heather's world. She calls Terry to collect herself and then takes over, doing what has to get done. I don't think I'll ever give her marriage the stink eye ever again. Not that I ever really did, but when something like this happens, I think you see who these people really are. Tamras grin at the chaos until she realized what was going on, Meghan trying her best but not really knowing what to say since at her age she probably hadn't had to deal with this kind of thing, it was different reality for sure.

 

I am very disturbed at the line crossed unless Vicki asked them to show this in the hopes it would help someone else going through the same thing.

[zoeysmom]

After reading Vicki's blog some things make sense.  Brooks apparently knew before Vicki and had a friend give him a ride to Shannon's so her could ride home with her.  I agree with Scoobie, no need to rewatch the latter part of this episode.  I am hoping this is the end of the film reels of Vicki's immediate response to her mother's sudden unexpected passing.

 

Vicki's tribute blog to her mom was very sweet and I was good to know she had surprised her mom with a birthday party just two months before her death.  Vicki shared pictures of the event on her blog and one of her sisters really favors Briana.  It seems Vicki dealt with a lot during filming this season with Brooks cancer and her mother's death.

 

I guess after 10 years Vicki has grown accustomed to the cameras and elected to share these moments with the audience.  Vicki's mom was entertaining when she appeared on the show and I am sure all five of her children will miss her terribly.  RIP Mrs. Steinmetz.

[imjagain]

Jimmy looked pained giving Meghan a hug. I don't understand Jimmy, he obviously wanted Meghan on this show. His second wife was supposed to be on the show with him. Clearly being on the show is something he wants. So why does he look so pissed off all the time? Why join a show just to show the world how uninterested you are in your new wife?

Speaking of clueless husbands wtf David, that was all kinds of crazy! I agree with others who have mentioned this, is he trying to make Shannon breakdown?

Someone asked how Shannon found out it wasn't the mistress, and I would like to know that too.

If they could show poor Vicki crumble to the ground while learning her mother passed away, where is the footage of David not speaking in code explaining who he really ran into?

I ff through Heather.

Idk why my phone turned "the" into "ghetto" lol that is one of the more interesting autocorrect.

Edited July 7, 2015 by imjagain

[Beden]

 

. Jim seems to be completely over Meghan in just 4 months.

 

Am I the only one remembering that old film 'The Heartbreak Kid'? I mean the original one, not the crummy remake. The newlywed groom is bored with his bride of about three days and so hits on another woman he meets on his honeymoon. Divorces his new bride and marries #2. As they're at their wedding reception he's clearly bored again and will repeat the pattern.

 

Truth is stranger (and often truer) than fiction.

 

I'm choosing not to comment on Vicki and her loss. I've been there, too. It hurts. It's unbearably sad and it happens to just about all of us at some point.

Edited July 7, 2015 by Beden

[Lucelu]

My dad (69 y/o) died of lung cancer as I sat next to him 9 years ago. He was on hospice. It was not a shock to me and I just felt really really sad- I knew what the end result needed to be and he had suffered so much. I work in healthcare and had worked in the oncology specialty and had my share of end of life patients. Death is a part of life that our society seems to be insulated from so it is quite an emotional shock for most people. Now I work in cardiology and people do die suddenly sometimes and I have witnessed people react like Vicki... actually even louder and longer in some cases. People vary in their reactions to grief and some cultures are much more demonstrative than others as well.  While it may be hard for people's emotional mind to grasp the concept of a life span -- no matter how great someone looks and functions- they are still 80-90 something on the inside. Any age over 80, people are living on borrowed time so treasure that --it is a bonus.  My Mom is in her 70s and is at end-stage COPD. One acute respiratory episode can send her over the edge. We know this. But she is also my best friend and it will take a long time to process my grief when she goes. I already grieve for the person she was because now she is so limited and is pretty much room bound, can't do much of anything anymore.  I have seen a lot of dead people and when their spirit is gone, it is gone, there is no waking them up. They are almost unrecognizable without that soul in there.  Who ever said the body is the house for the soul was absolutely correct.  My heart goes out for Vicki and her family.

 

That said, Meghan is stupidly immature.That is why they harp on her age---giving her an out in one respect. She would probably be just as passive aggressively bitchy at any age. And why wouldn't Shannon have wine for her event if she thought she was going to it? 

 

David speaking to Shannon about that girl on the beach she knew-- I feel like he said it to her because he does not want any misunderstanding and wishes to keep everything out there. I didn't know if he felt his interaction with the woman was weird because he thought she knew that David had cheated on her friend (ie. Shannon had confided in her) or if it was weird because the woman was hitting on him or what. That was an odd exchange.  My husband watched that with me and and her conversation with her friend about how she was feeling about it and wanting to keep her panic from David-- worried that he will feel like she was hounding him and may never forgive him if she brings it up... and he said "He cheats and she is blaming herself." So it isn't just me that sees that the victim blaming, while a artifice of editing might make viewers feel she nagged him into someone else's arms, it is not a figment of the viewer's imagination that she carries with her the responsibility of keeping her family together and that is a tall order for just one person to shoulder.  However, she feels like this forgiving the affair is a process she must get through and is confident she can do this and so long as David holds up his end ie. cuts off all ties and interaction with the woman he had the affair with-- their marriage can endure.

[ghoulina]

It is quite apparent to me that Megan is all about the drama and creating her a big, juicy storyline. Otherwise why react to Shannon's invitation the way she did? Sure, there may have been a bit of "I'm the bigger person, neener neener" along with that olive branch. But so what? Shannon didn't bring up the other crap, so why do you? Just accept the invite and move along. But you could literally see the wheels spinning in Megan's head - "I'm trying to have a feud with you, why are you willing to let it go, damnit???" Yup. Quite apparent what she's about. 

 

It's also quite apparent that Shannon can only make calls from behind her kidney bean shaped desk. Perhaps that explains some of the confusion the first time Megan called her. 

 

Please, no more moving storyline with Megan and Jimmy. I just can't. Moving is fucking stressful, I have no desire to watch anyone else stress about packing and unpacking and finding a place for everything. 

 

Also, if I wanted to watch Botched, I would. But I don't. So please spare me the cutting into of people's body parts accompanied by Terry's smarmy face. Thanks. 

 

I really don't know what to say about Vicki's segment at the end. I felt really uncomfortable watching it. Very invasive. It was sad, surely. I think that's the first time I've ever cried whilst watching a Housewives show. But did Bravo really need to air that? Or even film it? Vicki was clearly out of her mind, but could not one of those gals stepped up and asked the cameras to leave? Damn. 

 

RIP Joanne

[savannah1985]

"The Heartbreak Kid" (the original) is one of my favorite movies. Charles Grodin plays Lenny as such a slimy, smarmy piece of shit. It's painfully funny. I recommend.

[Ubiquitous]

Of course Vicki's actual grief and emotions highlighted the pettiness of Shannon and Meghan's back and forth bullshit. I can't tell what's going on with both of their husbands. Jim seems to be completely over Meghan in just 4 months. I can't tell if David is terrified of Shannon or trying to gaslight her into a nervous breakdown. Why did he have to strangely whisper to Shannon that he ran into a woman who wasn't his mistress?

I could not believe what I heard when Jim told Meghan he had planned on going to "happy hour" as soon as she left the house!

 

I got the impression David was walking on eggshells about the women he saw at the beach b/c she'd flip out, but not as much if she discovered he had been keeping secrets (ie, hadn't told her).

 

In the previews, when Meghan was crying on the beach with the step-kid and saying something like, "I saw you through that lens" was she comparing Vicki's mom's death to the step-daughter's mom's cancer?! How insensitive (to say the least).

That scene in the previews was bizarre, but I thought she was talking about how the step daughter would feel if she had suddenly died.

 

Oh gawd, Heather is going to make a guest appearance on Botched?

[ghoulina]

Tamras grin at the chaos until she realized what was going on,

 

I swear I caught Tamballs looking off to the side and grinning several times while everything was going on. Someone please tell me I'm not imagining things. 

[Mountainair]

 I know a lot of what happens to Vicki is of her own doing but I still felt very sad for her last night. Her boy friend has cancer, her mom passed away unexpectedly, Briana and her grandchildren live states away. I never hear much mention of Michael. I am sure at that moment she felt very alone and I'm sorry for that.

 

Meghan was ridiculous last night as was Shannon. They both were crazy. First, Shannon doesn't have to prove anything to you Meghan. Secondly, Shannon, there was no need to call her back a second time. That was not being the bigger person. I didn't understand the "Mrs. 30 year old thing" what does anyone's age have to do with anything? That was just Shannon being ageist in her own right. Shannon and David's conversation about the girl on the beach was one of the oddest things ever. David may have been provoking her but damn Shannon makes it so friggin' easy! 

 

Heather and her hand. I did like that she went to the party all Madonna like with the lace glove. For some reason I thought ethically wise a spouse was not to perform surgery on the other spouse. I don't know why I thought that. I guess I made that one up :P . The parking lot at Dr. Dubrow's office looked like part of a strip mall. I guess plastic surgeon offices are like Dollar Stores in my neck of the woods. If you build it, they will come. 

[BucFan]

Meghan seems so angry all the time. Even in her th's she's so angry and defensive.

[Should Be Working]

I noticed how Meghan couldn't resist getting in a few on-air slams against Jimbo ("after all, it's not that he does anything around here.") at the start of the episode. The elf princess is obviously just as resentful and unimpressed with him as he is with her. No thought given to the fact that he might be watching that TH a few months down the line, or perhaps she doesn't give a shit if he sees it. What a lovely couple.

[motorcitymom65]

It is clear to me that Bravo had Vicki's approval to air what they did.  She is extremely complimentary to Bravo and Evolution Media in her blog, thanking them for the way they handled this. She also has extremely kind words for Heather in her blog.

 

Can you imagine if she hadn't wanted it to be shown and they did it anyway, kind of like the limo reveal stuff with Kyle? Talk about a PR nightmare, and there is no question that Vicki would have made sure folks knew she was against it. She had no problem calling Bravo out last fall when they threatened to fire or demote her if she didn't film with Brooks. I think they left it all up to her. 

[MatildaMoody]

I have no problem with Vicki being devastated, shocked, heartbroken beyond consolation in her grief.  I lost my mother when I was 34, and even though in her final years I was more of the grown-up than she was, I still had moments of feeling like a child again.  11 years later there are times I still quietly want my mommy. I'm not giving a side-eye to any of that.  What is hard for me, especially because it was like reliving dealing with narcissists in my own life during huge family losses, is that witnessing a narcissist's version of grieving can make it really hard to want to give them your emotional support.  I found myself going from genuine sympathy - or maybe it was empathy because I was grieving, also - to being so completely disgusted and dumbfounded by the gross things these people said that by the end of it all I was just sickened and angered by their selfishness and wanted to get the hell away from them.  I started feeling the same way watching Vicki tonight.  And I think the deal  on these shows is that everything gets filmed, period, but ultrasensitive material can be requested to be withheld from airing under special circumstances.  If Vicki asked for this to be edited way down to exclude a lot of her first hearing the news, or struck from the show completely, it would have been.  Talking heads could have handed a lot of that.  But Vicki truly believes that she is the star of this show - she has said that out loud, on camera - and as much as she craves attention, worship, acknowledgment, gratitude, recognition, adoration, love and yes, even pity, it's not any shock to me she would be okay with all of it being shown the way it was.  In her mind, it means more people will talk about her, and she would rather have a thousand people saying "OMG, poor Vicki!" than one person saying, "I'm glad Vicki chose not to have that footage aired, it was the right thing to do", any day.

 

 

 

I completely disagree with the bold part. The people on these shows have absolutely no say in what gets aired no matter how sensitive it is. Kyle begged and pleaded with everyone at BRAVO not to air the footage of her calling Kim an alcoholic. If Vicki had begged for that footage not to be shown, they would have shown her her contract and said "sorry" it serves the show. Maybe they would have said "we will be a sensitive as possible." But, there is no way the wouldn't have aired it. The second they sign the contract they lose all say in what gets aired - no matter how sensitive the material. 

[DrivingSideways]

 

When all of the women were surrounding Vicki once they found out what happened, one of them, I'm not sure which one, told Vicki, "You have to be the strong one."  I wish people would think before saying asshole things like that.  One thing you should never do is tell someone how to grieve. 

 

That was Jeana.  And that was such a Jeana thing to say.  No shade - I am of the camp that believes this was all real, and it was an interesting glimpse into the real personalities - I loved seeing all of the women rally around Vicki and cry with her.  I loved episodes with Vicki's mom because her mom would just tear into her and mock her lifestyle in the funniest way.  Her mom was totally unimpressed with Vicki's money and the trappings of her OC life, and you could see why Vicki turned into the approval-seeking adult she is.  A very sad and ugly episode.  It's easy to make fun of Vicki's reaction but I have no clue how I would react either.

 

Shannon and Meghan are alike in some ways, but there is no warmth or kindness to Meghan.  She really is a self important, narcissistic witch.  I don't like that girl.  Shannon, for her faults, is essentially a nice person.  I love the faces she makes when she's exasperated.

[Ubiquitous]

I'm assuming Jim was parroting back Meghan calling it "old lady bunco". 

Yeah, what a bitchy thing for Meghan to say.

 

Haha. Poor little rich kids. I thought it was very revealing that Heather said Terry just wants to be a star. She practically called him a famewhore on tv.  

Hee! Wasn't it Terry who twisted Heather's arm into getting on this show?

 

The Orange County Chopper wardrobe doesn't help much either.

Ohhh, so THAT'S why that tshirt of Jim's looked familiar!

 

Not to speak ill of the dead, but I don't recall Vicki's mother being all that nice or supportive of her. There was the scene where she put down Vicki's hair color, the edited scene in which her telling Vicki she loved her after Vicki badgered it out of her, etc.

[Lucelu]

My husband was all.... "who is he going to happy hour with?" I was like... I don't know, maybe some other retired ball players? 

Heather getting the growth taken off-- I think that has to be a perk of having a plastic surgeon for a husband. But I don't think I'd want it filmed.  She could be way more obnoxious about his business... like that woman on RHOM who was writing a book full of task lists for house staff and nannies so the Lady of the Manor has time for everything in her life.  I can't remember her name but she was a delusional nasty piece of work. So next to her, Heather is doing great-- I liked the hair salon scene with her kids. They felt like such big deals there.  She was also pretty honest about Terry's celebrity career which was kind of funny... Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close up! I feel like this attitude is something that Terry has much in common with Ramona of RHoNY.  She was also very good about calling Brooks (who I don't hate, I feel sorry for-- he has obvs lost weight) when Vicki was grief-ing. The scene with the woo woo naturopath...  I think Vicki thought it was ridiculous but was willing to work it to support Brooks and that I think was admirable for a personality that is characterized as having its own gravitational pull.

[tabloidlover]

I go into each week thinking Jimmy couldn't be more of an asshole to his wife (even though I hate her), yet every single week he manages to be even more of an asshole. He doesn't even try to be nice. I need someone to explain to me WHY THE HELL HE MARRIED HER when it is so very clear that he cannot stand her. I just don't get it...

[njmama]

I swear I caught Tamballs looking off to the side and grinning several times while everything was going on. Someone please tell me I'm not imagining things.

No, but in Tamra's defense (I am not one to defend her ever), you could kind of hear Vicki but couldn't make out she was hysterical crying. Shannon didn't know till she was in the kitchen.

The girls were still playing and taking pics so I think wherever Vicki was on the phone was out of earshot from the other women. Shannon's reaction was the most genuine.

[SweetieDarling]

Would they have stopped filming if Vicky said stop? I honestly think these people in the production company are awful and wouldn't stop even if someone demanded. I think Vicky was so focused on the phone call she forgot they were there.

I know!  You would think one of the production crew would have gotten one of the other ladies IMMEDIATELY, or even put the camera down for a minute to help console her, but no, lets keep rolling tape.  Heartless bastiges!

[zoeysmom]

So Meghan week after proves herself to just be quite simply an idiot.  In this week's blog she claims the words "prove" and "assure" are synonyms.  It might be me but I do not think they are the same word or interchangeable.  In this instance Shannon offered her assurance Meghan she had nothing to worry about and Meghan said she wanted Shannon to prove it.  I see four more episodes of Meghan having to analyze and weigh if Shannon's invitation was genuine. 

 

At this point shouldn't Meghan have figured out how to move?  She has an assistant, the sorting should have been resolved four or five moves ago.  By her own admission she was moving into a four bedroom furnished house.  This means she is unpacking very little and zero concern if the furniture works in the new space.  So all this stress seems very misplaced for such a self proclaimed brilliant woman.  IIRC Meghan claimed the pre-move stress on her was Jimmy's reason for not inviting Shannon to the party. 

 

Regarding the age thing-Meghan starts out by rattling off the ages of the other women and then threw in there how she would be afraid to meet her.  I guess it was her being newly married to a baseball player, or perhaps being the sister of a widely photographed male model that would leave these women sucking up her dust as she cut through their lives.  Time for the editors to do a better job of editing Shannon's comments about Stretch being 30 years old.

Edited July 7, 2015 by zoeysmom

[ghoulina]

No, but in Tamra's defense (I am not one to defend her ever), you could kind of hear Vicki but couldn't make out she was hysterical crying. Shannon didn't know till she was in the kitchen.

The girls were still playing and taking pics so I think wherever Vicki was on the phone was out of earshot from the other women. Shannon's reaction was the most genuine.

 

Oh, I know that. I didn't mean while the Bunko party was still going on. I meant that I could have sworn I saw Tamera grinning while sitting with Vicki afterward. There was a moment where it looked like she was looking at someone off camera and smiling. But maybe I'm imagining things. 

[imjagain]

When all of the women were surrounding Vicki once they found out what happened, one of them, I'm not sure which one, told Vicki, "You have to be the strong one." I wish people would think before saying asshole things like that. One thing you should never do is tell someone how to grieve.

This 100%.

When my mother had a stroke and we knew she was gone. I found a small moment alone in the hospital room alone with her. I broke down cried like I had never cried before I rested my head on her shoulder and sobbed, told her how much I loved her and how much I would miss her. (I knew that since all the family had arrived we would be taking my mom off the ventilator that was breathing for her.) in walks a very close family member and tells me "come on now, you have to be strong". I was pissed, I snapped and told her to leave the room. I didn't speak to her for weeks I was so angry.

I give Vicki a pass on what she said about who will worry about me or whatever she said. I remember telling my husband who will love me now? He said he would, and I said no not like my mom, only your mom can love you unconditionally.

Ugh, this is bringing back some sad feelings.

[bosawks]

WOW!  That is some scary skinny right there.  Kind of surprised Jim-bo goes for that.    

 

Jimbo doesn't seem to be going for that all that much anymore..........

[TexasGal]

Miss Priss Heather did well in my book, she is a pain in the ass but I can see she is a "do-er", props to Heather who tiptoed away and starting DOING by getting Brooks on the phone. That was good, and strong and independent and she did it with empathy and sensitivity.

 

 

I did, however, love the glimpse into Heather's world. She calls Terry to collect herself and then takes over, doing what has to get done. I don't think I'll ever give her marriage the stink eye ever again. Not that I ever really did, but when something like this happens, I think you see who these people really are. Tamras grin at the chaos until she realized what was going on, Meghan trying her best but not really knowing what to say since at her age she probably hadn't had to deal with this kind of thing, it was different reality for sure.

 

Was coming to echo these sentiments - I was impressed with Heather too.  They were all sort of "should we call Brooks? what do we do" (which, by the way, is perfectly understandable) but Heather took care of business.  Then, she called Terry to tell him the news and to tell him she loved him, small pause and right back to business.  I've always liked her, and she's done plenty of things to make me doubt that the last couple years, but this made me proud to be a Heather fan.