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S08.E24: The Commitment Determination


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I saw a rerun last  night where he was upset about something and Amy hugged him.  He made some negative comment about the hug but when Amy stopped he begged her to keep hugging him.  He has grown to like, even need,  physical contact IMO.

 

I could buy that hug at the time, because it was more of a motherly gesture, and I'm sure he got plenty of those from his mother and his meemaw when he was a kid.  Amy hugging him and wanting to hold hands usually comes with a desire for more than he's  comfortable with, and that's when it gets squicky for me.  I wish she could just let him be instead of pushing further and ending up disappointed all the time.

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He doesn't do [hugging and kissing] as a favour to her but because he sees it as one of his *duties* within their relationship agreement. It's part of a compromise  I guess. If asked it he wanted to do these things, I'm sure he would decline.

 

There are things I didn't think I would like, but I liked after trying them.

 

Sheldon was clearly being sarcastic when he kissed Amy on the train...but he also clearly transformed to liking it. He is the one who moved closer and put his arms around her. He looked just as affected by it as she.

 

If asked if he wanted to kiss her, he probably might decline because he's trapped in his vision of himself. But if he's honest with himself, he does like kissing Amy.

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I'm not sure why so many folks, on this board and on others, are so dead-set against the idea of Sheldon learning to enjoy being touched or even learning to enjoy sex. These things are part and parcel of being human, and it is very detrimental to a human being to go through life without ever being affectionately touched by another person (never mind sex - I am talking about normal hugs and embraces.)

 

Underneath it all, Sheldon is as human as anyone else. He is not asexual - he is just severely sexually repressed due to his upbringing. Amy is trying her best to give him what every human needs, which is warm and affectionate physical contact.

 

Sure, she's trying to combine it with sex. But that's kinda the point. She's not just trying to "get him laid" just so he'll have the experience. We've seen that Amy genuinely loves Sheldon and IS offering him sex and affection at the same time. He is fortunate to have such an offer, and I'm baffled at the number of viewers who are just dead set against Sheldon ever being touched and/or ever having sex. It's really very sad.

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(edited)

Is there evidence that this is all some kind of PTSD caused by his upbringing? His mother enjoys sex. His sister alluded to having sex. Same place, same time...and his mother is a born-again Evangelical.

People vary a great deal in how much physical space they need. Put me a roomful of huggers or even close talkers or arm touchers and I'm out of there screaming. My husband is the one exception.

The point is that Sheldon not wanting to be physical (or constantly seeking sex to the point of idiocy, the norm of most sitcom men) need not be presented as a pathology to be "fixed." He is the way he is and he's not that unusual. There are people who just aren't interested (I've met several) and that should be okay. Not only that, it's rather refreshing, particularly in Lorre land.

How would people view it if Amy were the one who wasn't physical and Sheldon was pressuring her into having sex? Still a good thing she should just go along with?

Edited by Oldernowiser
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Is there evidence that this is all some kind of PTSD caused by his upbringing? His mother enjoys sex. His sister alluded to having sex. Same place, same time...and his mother is a born-again Evangelical.

 

I don't think we can compare Sheldon to his sister - they may have grown up in the same house but their experiences as children were wildly different.  I don't have any trouble believing that a lot of the reason Sheldon is Sheldon is because of how he was parented and what life was like for him being a child prodigy being raised by a born again Christian and a man who, from the evidence, seems to have been a misogynist drunkard.

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My issue with Leonard's last minute confession wasn't about whether or not he was trying to sabotage the wedding.

I'm convinced Leonard never had any intentions of telling Penny about the kiss. I don't think this is something he's been carrying around with him, fretting about when would be the right time to bring it up, and now that the wedding was right upon them it was now or never and he couldn't put it off any longer.

The only reason he said anything was because Penny was going on about knowing everything about each other and not having any surprises. I'm certain that that's the first time since shortly after the kiss happened that he thought about having to tell Penny. He only confessed because he realized she didn't know everything about him and might get an unpleasant surprise later, and only then decided he had to say something.

But if Penny hadn't said anything, I don't think the kiss would have entered his head at all because I'm pretty sure he put that out of his head a long time ago.

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I was disappointed by this season of BBT, the last half of the season especially.

 

Of course Leonard and Penny were going to have a terrible wedding day. Maybe they'll just break-up again or back out of this disaster of a wedding. I've always liked Leonard so I hate seeing him get stomped on. He was foolish to bring up the cheating thing on the wedding day, but it feels like a slight towards the character.

 

Sheldon and Amy are not a good couple. I hate that the show keeps trying to force them to be one. Amy started as Sheldon's female doppelganger. She evolved into a woman with physical and emotional needs. Amy wants a more traditional relationship complete with physicality. Sheldon wants companionship. They would both be better off as friends and finding other mates whose needs are more in line with their own. Sheldon changing to become what Amy wants or forcing Amy to give up what she wants are both unappealing solutions. The ring? Ugh. I hope the writers come up with a good explanation, but I won't hold my breath.

 

The show has been in decline for a while, but this season bored me. It feels like they are out of ideas and they're poorly executing the ideas they do have. We need a major shake up, but I hope that shake up is not a Shamy love story.

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I, for one, was completely blindsided by the ring.  I could never imagine Sheldon wanting to get married....it just seems out of character for him.  On the other hand, I CAN see him looking at things logically and thinking that, since Leonard and Penny are getting married and he will be losing his roommate, perhaps HE should explore marriage as an option.  It is obvious, to me anyway, that Sheldon loves Amy.  I can easily imagine him deciding to marry her as (1) a solution to losing his roommate and having to find a new one and (2) a logical progression of his life (the beliefs he was raised with...people grow up, become established in their careers, get married and procreate).  I believe the show as demonstrated that Sheldon enjoys kissing Amy (much to his surprise) and I can see him thinking that it stands to reason that if kissing is enjoyable, then coitus will probably be as well.  Sheldon came to the conclusion, and verbalized, that he loved Amy.  I guess it's not so far out an idea that he would also come to the conclusion that he wanted to marry her.

 

I used to like Raj, but he has developed into a total ass over the years.  I wasn't crazy about Lucy but I thought she was a better match for him than Emily....at least Lucy and Raj's neuroses meshed well together. I actually think the writers missed a great opportunity with the vet (was her name Yvette?).  With as attached as Raj is to Cinnamon, the vet would have been a good match. 

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I certainly understand what people are saying when it's suggested that Amy dates someone like Stuart, since she wants a human relationship with more than just hand holding and kissing. I get bothered because why does she HAVE to date anyone? I know she wants a boyfriend but would be a sin against humanity to not make female characters have to paired off? I'm getting increasing cranky with the way women are depicted in TV shows so watching a Chuck Lorre show does nothing on that front!

Yes, I know. Sheldon and Amy will end up together and now the back and forth will occur. Maybe they will give her a new guy who'll finally have sex with her so she can stop freaking complaining about that. Who knows how that could change the way she feels about her future relationship with Sheldon? I'm not interested in additional focus on their sex life. But as someone said upthread, sex seems to be only thing these writers can consistently think about for more than 5 minutes.

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I knew there was a cliff hanger coming, but I honestly thought that Penny would get the part she tried out for a few weeks ago without telling Leonard.  Then she would have to decide between the part and the job.

 

So actually she is keeping something from Leonard.  And it is a bit of a deal-breaker.  Not condoning Leonard's behavior, but she isn't exactly being honest either.

 

As far as Sheldon and Amy, I just don't know what to think.  But I am sure they will reconcile.

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Sheldon is a stickler for following the rules - or at least the things he thinks are rules.  Social convention dictates that you should offer someone a warm beverage under certain conditions, so he offers a warm beverage, even if it is bouillon.  I can see how Sheldon would believe that social convention dictates that a man should propose to his girlfriend, eventually.  So, when saw a ring that looked like the one in Lord of the Rings or a ring that had small diamonds in the shape of the Star Trek emblem, he bought it.  

 

You didn't hear a gasp? I just watched it a few minutes ago, and there was a definite gasp when he said to Gollum, "Tell me, what am I going to do with this ring?" And I know it wasn't me, because I gasped a split second after the audience did.  :)

 

I didn't hear a gasp either.  Nor an "ooh" or an "aah" I don't doubt that you heard it, but it couldn't have been very loud, which leads me to think that even the studio audience was relieved that Amy finally broke up with him (if I had been in the audience, I would have cheered when Amy said she was breaking up).

 

I kept expecting Leonard to say there was a baby, so "just a kiss" was a relief.  But So Raj still does not have the right girlfriend. I think awkward Lucy and Raj had more chemistry, though I know I'm in the minority in that opinion.

 

You are not alone.  I don't think that Raj and his current girlfriend have any chemistry at all.  I thought Lucy was a good match and there was comedy to mined there (perhaps not comedy gold, but at least comedy bronze) I think the writers sat around trying to come up with a character no one has done on a sitcom before and, after a few beers and a late night, they hit upon a woman with a fascination with anything morbid.  But I don't find that funny at all (it is comedy aluminum).

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I am with you.  I don't see any reason why Raj would be with her, except she is hot and will have sex with him.  The two definitely don't seem to have much in common.  I can see a guy like Raj being kind of fascinated by the dark twisted stuff to start with, but I cant imagine him staying interested.  The vet was a much more compatible match for him.

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I may be nuts, but I also thought that Sheldon's decision to propose at all, based on what we've seen so far and saw last night, was basically tantamount to him saying he was ready for sex. Even though we know he doesn't believe in religion as his mother does, there's still a lot about the way he was raised that clearly bleeds through to his thinking. So if he were going to have sex with Amy, I'd not be at all surprised if he felt he needed to be married to her first. So his decision to propose I imagine would entail a readiness for all of that. That's how it played to me. Which I realize might be a lot to read into from his being the one to try to re-initiate the kissing after the Flash question, but having seen the whole episode, that's the vibe I got.

This was what I was thinking also. As much as he argues against his mother's beliefs, they are still deeply rooted in him. He has admitted more than once there was a possibility of Amy and him having sex, and has admitted he loves her.

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I don't see any reason why Raj would be with her, except she is hot and will have sex with him.

He once told the ladies he'd take anyone who'd have him, so I think you're right. I suspect Emily is not as extreme as she seems at first glance and just enjoys pushing Raj's buttons.

 

 

I think the writers sat around trying to come up with a character no one has done on a sitcom before and, after a few beers and a late night, they hit upon a woman with a fascination with anything morbid.

They may have been inspired by Abby on NCIS. She's a very popular character who would have sex in a coffin before the writers pulled back a bit.

 

 

For a Vegas wedding to be legal, just like anywhere else, you have to first obtain a marriage license from the Clark County Marriage License Bureau. If anyone has gone through the steps to get a license, obviously the marriage is legal. If you don't have a marriage license then you aren't married.

Not quite all states require a license, and of those that do, there's at least one explicit about saying that a marriage that takes place without one is still valid. In my few minutes on legal sites I didn't find any states declaring a license-less marriage to be void, but I think there would be a conflict with the First Amendment doing so.

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I didn't hear a gasp either.  Nor an "ooh" or an "aah" I don't doubt that you heard it, but it couldn't have been very loud, which leads me to think that even the studio audience was relieved that Amy finally broke up with him (if I had been in the audience, I would have cheered when Amy said she was breaking up).

There were a few gasps when he went to open his drawer (before the box was visible).  I'm guessing they cut out the audience reaction for effect.

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Sheldon's mother Mary visited recently.  Maybe she gave Sheldon the ring (could be hers or Meemaw's).  Suppose she decided that Amy is Sheldon's best chance to have what she (Mary) considers a normal life, so she urged Sheldon to marry Amy.

 

(Apologies if someone else has posted this suggestion.  If you did, I didn't see it.)

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(edited)

 

they don't want Leonard and Penny to marry because it would mean Leonard moving out of the apartment with Sheldon and that is too radical a change in the show's dynamic.

 

I don't think a change in the show's dynamic would be a bad thing. I liked this episode overall (except for the Raj stuff). I don't think a sitcom has to be funny all the time and so I don't mind some sadness.

 

I do not want Leonard and Penny to break up again. Seriously no. Let them be married and figure things out from there. All the back and forth has worn thin. Frankly, I prefer them together than apart.

 

It's about time Amy broke up with Sheldon. I don't believe he's anywhere close to being ready for a sexual relationship, so I thought the ring seemed very unbelievable. I'm actually quite tired of Sheldon always getting his way and generally acting like an ass. Amy hang onto that freedom!

Edited by hypnotoad
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Hey gang, please remember it's ok to agree to disagree but that everyone has the right to their own opinion. Please be respectful of each other. Thank you.

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I'm just sad that Sheldon, for all his proposed uniqueness, seems to be headed for the exact same ending that all the guys will probably have. And oh, but I physically cringe when I see him kissing Amy. They look so stilted and weird doing that. Sheldon, to me, was a truly fascinating character, a rare male in the Chuck Lorre sitcom world who wasn't led around by his dick.

 

Just wait and see, give it another two seasons, they'll milk a Sheldon-the-horndog storyline for all it's worth.

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Did someone say there are two seasons left? Because that felt like a big ol' set up for a big ol' final season of tying up loose ends.

 

I predict Sheldon and Amy WILL get married, and will both remain virgins until that time. I like the idea of her having a date with Zack before that happens, though. That could be a nice full-circle for Amy, since he is the one who unknowingly revved her engines years ago.

 

I also think there's a better-than-even chance that Shamy will seal the deal before Leonard/Penny do.

 

I never cared for Lucy, but I saw a Lucy rerun today and thought, compared to the current chick, Lucy is adorable.

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Did someone say there are two seasons left?

 

After S7, the show was renewed for three seasons straight, so there are at least two seasons left, but if the ratings don't drop, and Chuck Lorre and the cast want to continue, there could be more seasons.

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Seriously?  That was the finale?  A bunch of supposed adults unable to speak up and be honest?  And a depressing final scene?  Rubbish.  Whatever raises these people got this season, it was completely undeserved.

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it is very detrimental to a human being to go through life without ever being affectionately touched by another person (never mind sex - I am talking about normal hugs and embraces.)

 

Underneath it all, Sheldon is as human as anyone else. He is not asexual - he is just severely sexually repressed due to his upbringing.

 

Sheldon's mother has been shown to be exceptionally warm and accepting.  Sounds like Meemaw was, too.  I bet he got lots of hugs as a kid.  Leonard is the one who should have sexual issues due to lack of hugs, not Sheldon.

 

I can see Sheldon's sexual development as being affected by his always being the youngest person in his class up through Graduate School, though.

 

Either way, I just don't see it as believable that he'd really like sex at this point.  I'm sure the show will go there, but I don't like it. 

 

I also think Amy has been pressuring him for years.  She knows he doesn't like physical contact, yet keeps telling him she's hoping for more.  They should just realize they are not ever going to be sexually compatible and remain friends.  I wish the writers had never gone this way.  It's not funny, it's just depressing.

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Leonard is the one who should have sexual issues due to lack of hugs, not Sheldon.

 

Leonard does have sexual issues. He has little to no self confidence, and for the longest time felt like he needed to thank Penny for even giving him the time of day much less having sex with him. He still has issues with whether or not he's good enough, and fears that she'll leave him for someone wealthier, taller, more buff, more of anything that he's thinks he's not. 

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Amy has been pressuring him for years.  She knows he doesn't like physical contact, yet keeps telling him she's hoping for more.

 

But..she's been right. He's finding that he likes it. Just about every intimacy initiated by Amy has been followed up with some obvious Sheldon enjoyment of same

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Well, there have been very mixed signals about how much he's enjoyed it...some episodes it's " don't stop" and others he's thinking about trains and bitching about not being her snuggle bunny.

Inconsistent writing, at best.

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In my opinion, up until Amy decided she'd had enough and they "took a break," The ring was just another B.S. way to shut Amy up already. Amy's been pushing him and pushing him and pushing him to go faster than he's physically or even emotionally capable of going so he figures if I put an ring on it, maybe I can buy myself another five years. I honestly don't like the way they've written Sheldon. He's an ass. Period. And he can be so cruel. But he is a child. He may be damn near 40 or however old he's supposed to be by now, but he's still a child, and Amy should take this into consideration and compromise more instead of pushing for what he has told her over and over he's not really able to give her YET...working on it, but not YET(remember the D&D game? He compromised and gave her what he COULD). I kinda resent Amy a little teeny tiny bit for it too...but only when I'm forced to see things through Sheldon's eyes.

 

I don't think Amy's done with him. I think she'll be back. It'll be the tiara all over again. That, and Sheldon's all she knows. He's the only man she's ever (fill in the blank). He's literally her first everything. We kinda forget that Amy's a virgin TOO. She may have "helpers" and stimuli, but she's a virgin in all the ways that count.

 

And, I think Penny and Leonard WILL be married when the new season begins. Her family is gonna be pissed. As are their friends. 

 

You watch. Come season opener, Sheldon will be living right where's he's living because nobody has the balls to actually FORCE him to move(OR he will be living across the hall but spending all his time except for sleeping in his spot), Penny and Leonard will be married, Amy will take one look at the ring (ala the tiara) and all will be forgiven, Sheldon will have an engagement agreement drawn up, and hilarity ensues.

 

I see a Shamy Wedding for the Series Finale.

 

Hope I didn't drift TOO far off topic...

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I have yet to see examples of Amy pressuring Sheldon. He has called all the shots and done everything however and whenever he felt like it. She was very kind in her move to take a break. She should have been done with him years ago.

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Really?

 

She's been passive-aggressively pressuring him for years. The whole 'cold' debacle when she was faking sick, multiple comments and requests about moving in together, tricking into going away for Valentine's day.... Sheldon's always been very clear about his limits from day one and she's been pushing them for years. If the genders were reversed, would we find this as funny?

 

I'm not saying Amy's needs are wrong or bad, but I'm not sure Sheldon can meet them. It's not anyone's fault but sometimes people just can't meet in the middle.

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If what Amy has done is pressuring then she's not very good at it.  She's pushing him towards an adult relationship, sure, and she's making it clear she has needs and wants but that's not pressuring him IMO.  And if a man was behaving towards a woman the way Amy has towards Sheldon I don't think anyone would have a problem with it.  Let's face it most of the time this kind of humour is all about guys wanting sex and girls being the ones who have to be convinced it's ok.  People have found that funny for years now.

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Yes, really. She follows the relationship agreement, which she had little, if any, say in (he wrote it and has not always followed it); when she wanted to say she loved him, she couldn't have tiptoed more around it and made sure he knew there was no pressure to respond; she let him know he had nothing to worry about regarding sex on prom night. She keeps any kind of date stuff to date night. She doesn't try to expand that to be all the time. She rarely says anything anymore about wanting more from him. The only thing she has ever explicitly asked for from him was respect, and even that can be too much for him. Regarding relationships, in the time we've known Amy, she's gone from sterile to neglected and relegated to second-tier status. And she's supposed to shut up and be happy about that. Even her first kiss with him was the result of humiliation in front of an entire train car, after having been rude to her all night. A few seasons back, she was so starved for affection, she was coming on to Penny.

I really hope they go some time without getting back together. A whole season, even. I want her to have a chance at a real relationship and see what she's been missing (not only physically, but in terms of attention and consideration, and being treated like an equal partner, not just there to gratefully receive whatever crumbs she's offered), so she has something to compare his highness to.

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After watching the last episode of this season I honestly have to say that altough I LOVE this show, I'm not sure it was such a good idea to drag it out for at least another 2 seasons. I'm afraid they are running out of stories to tell. I mean you could see that Sheldon-Amy break up coming, because it's the only option they have left to keep the story going, they can't have Leonard and Penny going through a breakup again, because it's getting more than old.

 

To me the show started to lose it's spark a little bit this season I'm afraid, it's still funny, but there were a lot of filler episodes too that didn't leave me wanting to watch the next epsiode right away like in the seasons before. I hope that Penny and Leonard don't get married secretly in the end, because their wedding with all their friends and family would be hilarious to watch, just imagine Leonard's mother, Penny's father and the chaos and panic, wouldn't wanna miss that. :)

 

I know this may be an unpopular opnion, but next season should have been the last one in my opinion, I know the show's a cash cow for all of them, but I'm afraid of the downward trend in quality increasing over the next two seasons, and I don't want that to happen to  one of my favorite shows.

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Would the show ever explore Sheldon's asexual behavior to see if it has an unexpected side?? For example, some women and therapists might wonder if Sheldon suffered sexual abuse when young. Or maybe he is gay and hasn't let himself be fully aware yet.

 

Also, doesn't evidence support Penny being a developing alcoholic? Couldn't that impact her relationships?

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Penny is a TV drinker - in that she's got a problem only when the writers want it that way but mostly her drinking is just for laughs.  If they actually want to go down a serious road and make her an alcoholic they could - but I don't see it happening. 

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If they actually want to go down a serious road and make her an alcoholic they could - but I don't see it happening. 

 

I don't either, especially since Chuck Lorre has already got that subject covered with Mom.

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You watch. Come season opener, Sheldon will be living right where's he's living because nobody has the balls to actually FORCE him to move

Why would Sheldon need to move when it is his apartment? Leonard lives there because Sheldon wanted a roommate. This is one time when I think "I was here first" trumps.

I have always felt Amy was passive-aggressive, and I have the unpopular opinion of not being enamoured with the addition of MB to the show. I am very uncomfortable with her "tricking" Sheldon into sexual situations (like the spanking). I also don't think you have to have sex to be considered in a grown up relationship. I hope they stay broken up.

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Why would Sheldon need to move when it is his apartment? Leonard lives there because Sheldon wanted a roommate. This is one time when I think "I was here first" trumps.

 

I'm sure there's also a watertight clause in the Roommate Agreement that doesn't let Leonard kick Sheldon out.

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After watching the last episode of this season I honestly have to say that altough I LOVE this show, I'm not sure it was such a good idea to drag it out for at least another 2 seasons. I'm afraid they are running out of stories to tell. I mean you could see that Sheldon-Amy break up coming, because it's the only option they have left to keep the story going, they can't have Leonard and Penny going through a breakup again, because it's getting more than old.

I think the show needs to get back to spending more time on the characters' work and their hobbies that have nothing to do with family and relationships. Those episodes are probably a little harder to write because it may require leaving out some cast members but I haven't seen enough of Sheldon being a scientist lately or of Amy being the smartest person in the room or Wolowitz being capable but always doing something disastrous, etc.

  • Love 3
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I'd like to see Raj and Emily break up, and either the return of Yvette after a few weird episodes of Amy/Raj, or Felicia Day is mistaken for Emily until she turns around, and SHE ends up with Raj.

 

I want to see Stuart happy and artistically fulfilled, with a partner. I don't care which gender. I don't care whether the partner is hot or not or how old the partner is, as long as s/he helps run the comic book store and supports Stuart being an artist, and sticks up for Stuart.

 

I think Bernadette and Howard are genius.

 

I would be ok with Sheldon ending up alone or with Sara Gilbert. Remember how she only wanted sex on New Year's? And now that Sheldon is no longer the champion of String Theory, it might work. She wouldn't worship Sheldon, though, or build forts with him. They'd mainly snipe. Amy should probably end up with Kripke. He has a libido and a sense of humor. She might not be able to tolerate him putting Sheldon down all the time, though.

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Not quite all states require a license, and of those that do, there's at least one explicit about saying that a marriage that takes place without one is still valid. In my few minutes on legal sites I didn't find any states declaring a license-less marriage to be void, but I think there would be a conflict with the First Amendment doing so.

 

Requirements do vary from state to state, but many do require that a couple obtain a marriage license in order to have a legally binding ceremony, including Maryland (where I live); a license-free marriage would be considered void as far as the law is concerned.  And Nevada's law requires a license as well, so no, a quickie wedding in Vegas is NOT legally binding unless the couple has obtained a marriage license first, no matter what Hollywood tells us.

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I was actually surprised that the show went as far as to avoid having Penny explicitly say they were drunk, and make it more like something she and Zach did as a goofy joke. Last I checked Nevada was making it illegal for intoxicated people to get married. I mean it's just common sense; you don't enter into any kind of legally binding contract without your wits about you.

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I give Amy a pass on the pressuring aspect of things.  She used to be like Sheldon, and she had an awakening of sorts.  It just makes sense that she'd want him to have one as well.  In her way, she is still very emotionally immature.

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