Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[Picture It. Sicily]

Anyone remember that episode of SVU where a little boy was found eating out of garbage cans? The investigation found his insanely controlling mother, who was homeschooling her kids and withholding food and filling their brains with garbage about how dangerous the world is and they would both be killed in foster care and she was the only one they could trust? That's what popped into my head when I read Timothy's post. At one point the cops were trying to get through to the older kid and he was all "why are you saying bad things about my mom?" Jill scares me more than any of these fundies. She's seriously unwell and cannot hear a single dissenting opinion. 

Edited November 19, 2019 by Picture It. Sicily
Like Columbo, always one more thing.

[FizzyPuff]

18 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I’m stuck in their standards being “mostly” hand holding and side hugs. Does that mean the kids wanted to and did kiss at engagement? Ummmhmmm. What’s up with this “mostly”??

Nurie’s hair looks awful. We rag on Jill Duggar for her scraggly hair, but hers looks better than Nurie’s. 

He gets to touch her back too ! I know how scandalous 🙀

[Natalie68]

21 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

I keep looking at the photos of Nathan and trying to be kind about his looks. I love quirky features better than perfect ones to start with, and we all know my obsessive love for cute little crooky overlaps in teeth, but I can't find any winsome details, just awkward ones...I keep trying to figure out whether as he ages, his face will fill out a bit and gain some kind lines and inherent sweetness (I think sister Pris has that despite not seeming to be the brightest bulb in the box)...But I just keep failing. Mea Culpa. All I keep seeing are those photos you sometimes find from"ugliest dog" contests, where the winner invariably seems to be some sort of Chihuahua mix with a splayed out overbite...

This was the sweetest way to say he is unfortunate looking!

[Natalie68]

11 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Well Chick Fil A IS in the bible right?  Right next to God smites the gays.  It where you go after said smiting but before you go to your sweet friends house for a drippy sundae.

Edited November 19, 2019 by Natalie68

[Temperance]

Of course Jill is homophobic. 🙄She's a naive, sheltered, ignorant, homeschooled Christian just like most of the fundies we know. At least she's saying what she really thinks. (Unlike others who will shake their heads in silence.) Jill R is the kind of person Chick-Fil-A is distancing themself from. She would fit in perfectly with the anti-gay protesters in You Need to Calm Down (Taylor Swift). 

I support the LGBTQ community 🏳️‍🌈 and wonder if there's a petition I can sign that says "Good First Step Chick-Fil-A! Keep up the good work and keep renouncing hate!"  🌈

As for Tim, I wonder if he's saying something so his mama doesn't start questioning his choice in friends for not being conservative enough.

Edited November 19, 2019 by Temperance

[DangerousMinds]

My favorite part:

Also it ishard to take things from a person that has changed a lot in their personal life! 
 

I guess the writer started wearing sluttish pants or something.

[louannems]

Timothy!!!  OMFG!!!  That's the funniest thing I've read in a while! All those exclamation points!!!  Even more than Precious Mama!!!

Timothy sounds terribly young.  Even he should know that if you put yourself out there on social media, you open yourself up to other people's differing comments.  How dare he tell commentors not to comment.

[farmgal4]

3 hours ago, Picture It. Sicily said:

Anyone remember that episode of SVU where a little boy was found eating out of garbage cans? The investigation found his insanely controlling mother, who was homeschooling her kids and withholding food and filling their brains with garbage about how dangerous the world is and they would both be killed in foster care and she was the only one they could trust? That's what popped into my head when I read Timothy's post. At one point the cops were trying to get through to the older kid and he was all "why are you saying bad things about my mom?" Jill scares me more than any of these fundies. She's seriously unwell and cannot hear a single dissenting opinion. 

Seriously unwell aka Batshit crazy

Edited November 20, 2019 by farmgal4

[sondraK]

3 hours ago, emma675 said:

Wow, who knew little Timmy was as much of a hateful bitch as his mom?

She's taught him to grift,too.He and Nurie think the world owes them.No personal responsibility at all

[farmgal4]

1 hour ago, DangerousMinds said:

My favorite part:

Also it ishard to take things from a person that has changed a lot in their personal life! 
 

I guess the writer started wearing sluttish pants or something.

But the Rods aren’t even a little bit judgemental, according to Jill. 😒

[galaxychaser]

8 hours ago, emma675 said:

Wow, who knew little Timmy was as much of a hateful bitch as his mom?

Well Jill raised him. All he heard is hate speech...

[galaxychaser]

8 hours ago, Picture It. Sicily said:

Anyone remember that episode of SVU where a little boy was found eating out of garbage cans? The investigation found his insanely controlling mother, who was homeschooling her kids and withholding food and filling their brains with garbage about how dangerous the world is and they would both be killed in foster care and she was the only one they could trust? That's what popped into my head when I read Timothy's post. At one point the cops were trying to get through to the older kid and he was all "why are you saying bad things about my mom?" Jill scares me more than any of these fundies. She's seriously unwell and cannot hear a single dissenting opinion. 

I remember.

[beckie]

On 11/6/2019 at 2:48 PM, beckie said:

Sorry about the quote box. Can't get it to disappear.

Timothy is truly a mama's boy. I wonder what he does in person if someone criticizes something he does? Tell them they have no say?

Son of a bitch fits him well!

[ginger90]

[GeeGolly]

Poor Timmy. I hope getting Wonged doesn't hurt too much.

[satrunrose]

Tim, my dear, I'm going to explain this to you like I explain it to my grade 7 students, if your bar for being offended is this low you are constantly going to be offended and upset. Who wants to go through life that way? Let Mama dearest fight her own battles and, if you feel you must do something to appease the narcissist, keep spending your college money on cheer up stuffies. I mean really, if he's doing double rant posts about a reasoned "I don"t agree with you" post, what's he going to do if someone points out that three tons of make-up is sluttish (It's not, of course, but neither are pants).

Sigh, I think I need to start lowering my expectations for the kiddults of some of these messed up families (The Rods and the Duggars, a little less the Bates). Every kid who grows up and starts taking little steps away I think Yes! Fly free! Be happy! Question your upbringing! Do things for you, not for mama! Make your own calls about the roles (if any) that God and religion will have in your life! And then... 

[BradandJanet]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Poor Timmy. I hope getting Wonged doesn't hurt too much.

Yeah. especially since he doesn't want to loose ground.

I like the toilet paper and toilet lid in the background of his Ode to God photo.

Edited November 20, 2019 by BradandJanet
clarity

[Rabbittron]

3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Poor Timmy. I hope getting Wonged doesn't hurt too much.

Maybe he enjoys getting wonged?

[Misslindsey]

It makes me want to post on the Rods page just so Timmy responds.

[louannems]

4 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Timothy is turning into a male version of Sweet Mama with his persecution.  Even the smile and the way  his selfie is angled downwards is all Jill.

He must be exhausted having to focus all his time saving everyone from all of their sins.

[Broken Ox]

God help me, indeed.

[Jetlag]

53 minutes ago, Broken Ox said:

God help me, indeed.

Long time lurker here...I have been a flight attendant for 40 years ( I was hired when I was 12 lol) and there is no way in hell I would get on a airplane with this little twerp at the controls.

[BetyBee]

5 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Poor Timmy. I hope getting Wonged doesn't hurt too much.

At least he's not "loosing" ground!

ETA: sorry, BradandJanet - already noted by you!

Edited November 20, 2019 by BetyBee

[MargeGunderson]

Hey, Timmy? Maybe your Mom could keep it to herself when she doesn't like something. Or shut the fuck up in general.

[Zella]

14 minutes ago, Jetlag said:

Long time lurker here...I have been a flight attendant for 40 years ( I was hired when I was 12 lol) and there is no way in hell I would get on a airplane with this little twerp at the controls.

Yeah, I have been sympathetic to Tim as he emerges into the real world--though that FB meltdown was absolutely pathetic. But I would not volunteer to get on a plane he was flying! I'm not convinced even with significant academic tutoring/remedial work that he will ever be pilot material. I say that as someone who knows next to nothing about piloting but did used to teach. 

Edited November 20, 2019 by Zella

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

On 11/19/2019 at 2:10 PM, galaxygirl76 said:

Oh Timmy, Timmy, Timmy. There's so much to unpack in that little message and not a lot of it is good. 'Don't be mean to my mommy, she's the bestest and I love her sooooo much. If you have something to say we do not approve off, please keep your heathen mouth shut as we do not need that negativity in our lives.'

What I'm seeing here (in my professional opinion as an arm-chair psychologist who specializes in reality TV train wrecks and hangers-on...so my totally unqualified opinion):

The kids have been raised to compete for Queen Sweet Mama Jill's love and adoration.  They compete to be her favorite and this is by design - Jill gets her attention from her kids & she gets to sickly enjoy the friction between them as they compete for her love. The two oldest (and two favorites), Nurie and Tim are probably most in competition with each other.  And let's face it, Nurie has been winning lately.  Her courting & engagement has gotten Jill more attention on social media as well a link to the Duggars via marriage (well, a Duggar-in-law).  Nurie is currently not just the golden child - she's the platinum child.   Jill's posts about Timmy being in college to be a pilot for Jesus can't compete with Jill's Nurie & Nathan posts. 

Timmy knows this.  He also knows that not being Queen Sweet Mama's golden child is not a pleasant place to be.  He instinctively had to do something to show mama he loves her so much and to try to displace Nurie even for a little while.  So....we have this awful, cringey post. 

On 11/19/2019 at 3:32 PM, Natalie68 said:

Well Chick Fil A IS in the bible right?  

Well, I know that "traditional marriage" in the Bible that Jill is throwing a fit over definitely included polygyny and concubinage, so Jill better get on ranting about businesses that don't support pro-polygyny traditional marriages via their charity donations.  She should also joyfully available to accept that if he feels God wants him to, she could end up being just one of David's wives (barf).  

I'm sure Jill never eats dairy and meat together, eats pork, or wears fabrics of mixed clothing (hahaha- we know polyester is a Rod clothing staple).  In fact, I'm sure she's probably also just about to post that she's sad Chick-Fil-A doesn't support Biblical dietary guidelines since they offer bacon on some items.  I'm sure she also constantly rage-posts at hamburger joints for offering cheeseburgers, too. I'm sure she isn't just worried about how gay marriages not being Biblical and is worried about all the restrictions and traditions from the Bible.  Oh wait? She is just worried about gay marriage and not the other traditions and rules? Well, I can only assume that's because she's a bigoted anti-LGBT jerk because, you know, she is. Maybe she could get a J-O-B if she has all this extra time to worry about what other consenting adult are doing in personal lives and to stew in and spread hate.

On 11/19/2019 at 4:35 PM, DangerousMinds said:

My favorite part:

Also it is hard to take things from a person that has changed a lot in their personal life! 

I suppose the only people we should ever "take things" (What "things?" Advice? Candy? Plexus?) from are people who are exactly the same person at ages 1, 10, 20, 25, 30, 50, and 70.  I guess people who willing to experience new things, admit they may be wrong or accept there are different ways of doing things can't be trusted to give anyone advice despite their experience and introspection. Change is part of life. It's so much a part of the human experience that even your KJV Bible says so, Timmy. I know that you know this because Fundies love to reference the particular verse: "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven," -Ecclesiastes 3:1, KJV

Many more Bible verses with similar applicable themes of change being a part of life (1 Corinthians 13:11 & Isaiah 43:18-19 jump to mind immediately).  Seems to me change is a expected part of the human experience per the Bible.  

P.S. Timmy, get a life. Make your own way. This could be a new season where you separate yourself from your narcicistic mother and relieve yourself of the tiresome exercise of competing to be her favorite.  Think of what you can do with the time and lightness that will come from being of that emotional exhaustion.  And you wouldn't have to send money home to Sweet Mama or buy her gifts. (I know it's easier said than done.  But I'm rooting for you to do it.)

/rant over  I am sorry that I wrote such a large wall of text about these people.

Edited November 20, 2019 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[GeeGolly]

@MyPeopleAreNordic, nice job Doc. You've described a maladaptive family dynamic. Triangulation.

[Temperance]

12 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Why does everyone assume that this is Tim being persecuted for his faith? I see this as Mama Jill is worried Timmy is moving too far away from the field and is trying to rein him back in with this post. Tim is assuring his mama, yes I'm true to God, yes I'm rising above temptation, yes I'm the good Christian boy you raised, etc. 

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

13 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

@MyPeopleAreNordic, nice job Doc. You've described a maladaptive family dynamic. Triangulation.

Thanks. 🙂  I realized I'm apparently working on research for my next graduate degree.  It is in the field of "Dysfunctional Reality TV (& Adjacent) Families."  Unfortunately, no regionally accredited university offers this specific graduate degree, so I'm attending University of the Kitchen Table Plus. 

My Primetimer Duggar forum buddies, I apologize that you've ended up as defacto members of my graduate committee.  I thank you for reviewing my notes above on my preliminary research on the Rods. 😉 

(These people would be a goldmine for academic research, though.)

Edited November 20, 2019 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[farmgal4]

13 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Apparently the pompous little asshole is too dense to know that all pronouns relating to God should be capitalized.  I guess they didn’t teach that at Noyes Homeschool.

[Jynnan tonnix]

4 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

Apparently the pompous little asshole is too dense to know that all pronouns relating to God should be capitalized.  I guess they didn’t teach that at Noyes Homeschool.

Ah, but the extra random capitalizations make up for it. It all evens out in the end.

[galaxychaser]

13 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Poor Timmy. I hope getting Wonged doesn't hurt too much.

Porn reference from Timmy? Maybe that’s how he pays his bills.

[galaxychaser]

To be mama’s favorite a Rod kids to snag a Duggar.  Imagine if Timmy married Jana? Jill would have an orgasm or a stroke!

[Temperance]

Steve Maxwell may never top the swimming pool post last summer. (Evil woman defrauding men by swimming in bikini in her own yard). But he comes close this week. 

Motivated vs unmotivated

Teri and I were being checked out at a local supermarket, and I had begun chatting with the bagger while he worked. “Where are you headed with your life?” I asked.

“I’m going to be a graphic designer,” he responded.

“Great,” I continued. “How will you prepare?”

“I already have a degree in graphic design.”

“Super. Do you want to give me your phone number in the event I find something you might be interested in?”

“Actually, I’m not looking for a job.”

Here was a man who appeared satisfied with bagging groceries as “fill-in” work when he could be working full-time and developing professional skills. I was amazed at the “appearance” of his lack of motivation. I am looking forward to speaking with him next time I see him and what I might learn from him.

Have your children learned how rewarding it is to be diligent workers, accomplish things, and strive for greater skills? Oh, how good that feels. Yet, to the unmotivated person, the idea of work (and learning) might be a good reason for a nap until that idea is gone.

Much of life is about perspective and options. Establish the frame of mind in your home that work and developing skills is good. Please don’t make readily available things that are a waste of precious time.

If you have an unmotivated child, I’d love to hear your thoughts on what factors led to this outcome.

“Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men” (Proverbs 22:29).

Steve

Because what could possibly go wrong at giving your phone number to some  random elderly man since he promises to give you a job? Hey Steve, does that mean your daughters should give their phone numbers out to men who promise to find them husbands?

Edited November 21, 2019 by Temperance

[galaxychaser]

What a cretin and a creep.

[Sew Sumi]

5 minutes ago, Temperance said:

Steve Maxwell may never top the swimming pool post last summer. (Evil woman defrauding men by swimming in bikini in her own yard). But he comes close this week. 

Motivated vs unmotivated

Teri and I were being checked out at a local supermarket, and I had begun chatting with the bagger while he worked. “Where are you headed with your life?” I asked.

“I’m going to be a graphic designer,” he responded.

“Great,” I continued. “How will you prepare?”

“I already have a degree in graphic design.”

“Super. Do you want to give me your phone number in the event I find something you might be interested in?”

“Actually, I’m not looking for a job.”

Here was a man who appeared satisfied with bagging groceries as “fill-in” work when he could be working full-time and developing professional skills. I was amazed at the “appearance” of his lack of motivation. I am looking forward to speaking with him next time I see him and what I might learn from him.

Have your children learned how rewarding it is to be diligent workers, accomplish things, and strive for greater skills? Oh, how good that feels. Yet, to the unmotivated person, the idea of work (and learning) might be a good reason for a nap until that idea is gone.

Much of life is about perspective and options. Establish the frame of mind in your home that work and developing skills is good. Please don’t make readily available things that are a waste of precious time.

If you have an unmotivated child, I’d love to hear your thoughts on what factors led to this outcome.

“Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men” (Proverbs 22:29).

Steve

Because what could possibly go wrong at giving your phone number to some  random elderly man since he promises to give you a job? Hey Steve, does that your daughters should give their phone numbers out to men who promise to find them husbands?

I'm surprised Steve-o didn't ask the bagger where he was going to go when he died. That's a favorite Maxwell icebreaker. 🙄

[toodles]

13 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

14 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Ole' Timmy looks like he got wonged big time.  Possibly multiple times.  He must have accidentally listen to the devil and his confusion by mistake and perhaps took some of his fashion advice because he looks beyond creepy.

[BradandJanet]

1 hour ago, Sew Sumi said:

I'm surprised Steve-o didn't ask the bagger where he was going to go when he died. That's a favorite Maxwell icebreaker. 🙄

My answer is--to Paris to drink good red wine and eat macarons all day. It's an icebreaker ender. 

The guy in the grocery sounds smart. I wouldn't give Creepy Stevie my phone number either. 

[sondraK]

Sounds like the bagger just didn't want to give his no. to a stranger.Good for him.

Or he may just not be in the right place in his life to move up.Who knows.It's not for Steve to judge

[galaxychaser]

The bagger should have given Steve a number to a sex line. 

🤣🤣🤣

Edited November 21, 2019 by galaxychaser

[BitterApple]

24 minutes ago, sondraK said:

Sounds like the bagger just didn't want to give his no. to a stranger.Good for him.

Or he may just not be in the right place in his life to move up.Who knows.It's not for Steve to judge

I think the kid sensed Steve was a creeper and wisely shut him down. 

[sondraK]

13 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I think the kid sensed Steve was a creeper and wisely shut him down. 

That too,lol

[Zella]

4 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

What I'm seeing here (in my professional opinion as an arm-chair psychologist who specializes in reality TV train wrecks and hangers-on...so my totally unqualified opinion):

The kids have been raised to compete for Queen Sweet Mama Jill's love and adoration.  They compete to be her favorite and this is by design - Jill gets her attention from her kids & she gets to sickly enjoy the friction between them as they compete for her love. The two oldest (and two favorites), Nurie and Tim are probably most in competition with each other.  And let's face it, Nurie has been winning lately.  Her courting & engagement has gotten Jill more attention on social media as well a link to the Duggars via marriage (well, a Duggar-in-law).  Nurie is currently not just the golden child - she's the platinum child.   Jill's posts about Timmy being in college to be a pilot for Jesus can't compete with Jill's Nurie & Nathan posts. 

Timmy knows this.  He also knows that not being Queen Sweet Mama's golden child is not a pleasant place to be.  He instinctively had to do something to show mama he loves her so much and to try to displace Nurie even for a little while.  So....we have this awful, cringey post. 

This is so true! And not only all this, but I imagine Tim was even further down Mama Jill's shitlist this week since he apparently forgot her birthday. So, yeah, this is definitely how you get back into Mama's good graces--defend her "honor" publicly. 

[Oldernowiser]

Timmy so needs to get laid.

[sondraK]

I think li'l Timmy will be looking for the bestest fundie girl he can find,when/if he completes school.Maybe the Shraders will be back from Zambia by then

Just now, sondraK said:

Edited November 21, 2019 by sondraK

[becca3891]

10 hours ago, Temperance said:

Because what could possibly go wrong at giving your phone number to some  random elderly man since he promises to give you a job? Hey Steve, does that mean your daughters should give their phone numbers out to men who promise to find them husbands?

The whole thing reeks of condescension. First of all, it's rude to ask a cashier "Where are you going with your life?" in the first place. And yes, it shouldn't need to be explained to Steve, but a stranger refusing your creepy offer does not mean he has no ambition. Good grief.

[galaxychaser]

7 hours ago, Oldernowiser said:

Timmy so needs to get laid.

By Jimmy from the third plane...

[Barb23]

14 hours ago, Temperance said:

Steve Maxwell may never top the swimming pool post last summer. (Evil woman defrauding men by swimming in bikini in her own yard). But he comes close this week. 

Motivated vs unmotivated

Teri and I were being checked out at a local supermarket, and I had begun chatting with the bagger while he worked. “Where are you headed with your life?” I asked.

“I’m going to be a graphic designer,” he responded.

“Great,” I continued. “How will you prepare?”

“I already have a degree in graphic design.”

“Super. Do you want to give me your phone number in the event I find something you might be interested in?”

“Actually, I’m not looking for a job.”

Here was a man who appeared satisfied with bagging groceries as “fill-in” work when he could be working full-time and developing professional skills. I was amazed at the “appearance” of his lack of motivation. I am looking forward to speaking with him next time I see him and what I might learn from him.

Have your children learned how rewarding it is to be diligent workers, accomplish things, and strive for greater skills? Oh, how good that feels. Yet, to the unmotivated person, the idea of work (and learning) might be a good reason for a nap until that idea is gone.

Much of life is about perspective and options. Establish the frame of mind in your home that work and developing skills is good. Please don’t make readily available things that are a waste of precious time.

If you have an unmotivated child, I’d love to hear your thoughts on what factors led to this outcome.

“Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men” (Proverbs 22:29).

Steve

Because what could possibly go wrong at giving your phone number to some  random elderly man since he promises to give you a job? Hey Steve, does that mean your daughters should give their phone numbers out to men who promise to find them husbands?

Steve's "I am Holier than you" attitude really irks me.  Didn't Steve leave his well paying engineering job to become self-employed?  He left the field he was trained in so why is he picking on this guy for doing something similar? I think the guy is learning & using plenty of professional skills by having to deal with the public. The bagger could have been a manager who was helping out. I've seen that happen many times.  Steve has three stay-at-home daughters that will never leave the Maxwell house & be self-sufficient. I consider them more non-motivated than the bagger guy. ( I do give them a partial pass because this is how they were raised.) 

ETA:  I'm sure the grocery store workers were blessed with Bible tracts.

Edited November 21, 2019 by Barb23

[BitterApple]

It wouldn't surprise me if the bagger is looking for a job, but feared Steve was trying to lure him into some scam or MLM, and shut him down. Either way, Steve's a jerk and it wasn't his business to comment in the first place. 

[ChicksDigScars]

On 11/19/2019 at 5:48 PM, louannems said:

Timothy!!!  OMFG!!!  That's the funniest thing I've read in a while! All those exclamation points!!!  Even more than Precious Mama!!!

Timothy sounds terribly young.  Even he should know that if you put yourself out there on social media, you open yourself up to other people's differing comments.  How dare he tell commentors not to comment.

I noticed that the comments are still turned off on CrazyJill's Intagram page. I soooo wanted to add a comment to her post along the lines of, "Come off it, Jill. We know that the only one allowed near a Chick-Fil-A is your overfed husband, not your malnourished children."