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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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Peeve:  Reboots of TV shows remind me how old I am!  Just Googled the cast of Bel Air and I find out the actors playing the adults (i.e. Phil, Viv, Jeffrey) were all teens/tweens when the OG series premiered.  

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16 minutes ago, PRgal said:

Peeve:  Reboots of TV shows remind me how old I am!  Just Googled the cast of Bel Air and I find out the actors playing the adults (i.e. Phil, Viv, Jeffrey) were all teens/tweens when the OG series premiered.  

I'm in my mid30s but still feel so young. Maybe because I'm single and kid free? It will suddenly dawn on me I could easily be the mom of a high schooler. So trippy. 

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2 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

I'm in my mid30s but still feel so young. Maybe because I'm single and kid free? It will suddenly dawn on me I could easily be the mom of a high schooler. So trippy. 

Isn’t it?  For the record, I’m 42.  Though I have a preschooler, I’m definitely old enough to have teens….teens old enough to drive.  Very trippy.  And very trippy to realize I’m the same age as the parents on any given TV show…

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10 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Yeah, we have the all-room-playback DVRs. I was able to finally fix it by rebooting it a few more times today. I’m sure it will happen again. And judging by Optimum’s Facebook page, we are not the only ones who hate it. Oh, and it also increases your bill the longer you’re a customer; apparently my “discount” has expired after 20 years, which I learned when I called to ask why my bill is suddenly $300 per month! (I mean, unless they only do this to people who live in places with no other options?)

I have the old school whole house DVR setup, which I understand they want to get rid of. They want you to switch to something called Altice One. I learned this a couple of years ago and looked into it. It was possibly going to be cheaper but it wouldn’t have the same features.  

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13 hours ago, PRgal said:

Peeve:  Reboots of TV shows remind me how old I am!  Just Googled the cast of Bel Air and I find out the actors playing the adults (i.e. Phil, Viv, Jeffrey) were all teens/tweens when the OG series premiered.  

At least they were alive when the OG series was on!

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4 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Pet peeve is struggling to find a good female psychiatrist. I keep running into a doctor who's moved, retired, not currently taking new patients, something. 

I don't see a woman therapist (not psychiatrist) and TBH, he's the best thing that's happened to me.  But it could also be a generational thing.  My current therapist is in his early 40s while I was seeing more...mature/experienced people before.  And they seemed to be judgey.  

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1 hour ago, PRgal said:

I don't see a woman therapist (not psychiatrist) and TBH, he's the best thing that's happened to me.  But it could also be a generational thing.  My current therapist is in his early 40s while I was seeing more...mature/experienced people before.  And they seemed to be judgey.  

I'm sure there are many male psychiatrists who are wonderful. A lot of my issues are things that females have more personal experience with, so that's why I prefer a woman. I'm open to younger, but I actually prefer someone older than me. I want lots of experience and a motherly vibe! It's very, very difficult for me to open up, so I look for people I'll be more comfortable with. I worry about someone around my age or younger having it together and judging me for being a mess at my age. People in their 50s & up still see me as a youngster. 

I did also see a male once when I was younger. Even though I'm sure most are good, the one I happened to see had a coldness to him, was pushy, and seemed to want to gear the conversation toward sex. I couldn't wait to get out of there. 

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2 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I'm sure there are many male psychiatrists who are wonderful. A lot of my issues are things that females have more personal experience with, so that's why I prefer a woman.

Keep on searching for a woman who's a good fit.  No matter what one's education and training, living in a patriarchal society means even those who are trained to be analytical are affected by sexist biases, and, of course, psychiatry/psychology/therapy has been taught from the white, straight, male perspective for so long that it's frequently fucked up.

So you need someone who recognizes and analyzes the role gender plays, and you increase your odds of getting that by going with a woman, given their own real-world experience versus the androcentric perspective peddled as universal.

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3 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Keep on searching for a woman who's a good fit.  No matter what one's education and training, living in a patriarchal society means even those who are trained to be analytical are affected by sexist biases, and, of course, psychiatry/psychology/therapy has been taught from the white, straight, male perspective for so long that it's frequently fucked up.

So you need someone who recognizes and analyzes the role gender plays, and you increase your odds of getting that by going with a woman, given their own real-world experience versus the androcentric perspective peddled as universal.

Thank you, beautifully said. It's not misandry, just want someone who gets me firsthand.

Men will tell me they go through all the same exact things, but even a man who understands fat shaming probably doesn't understand wanting to diet your breasts and hips away so you're not objectified. That played a big part in my eating disorder when I was younger, and it took many years to get over that. 

 

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6 hours ago, Bastet said:

Keep on searching for a woman who's a good fit.  No matter what one's education and training, living in a patriarchal society means even those who are trained to be analytical are affected by sexist biases, and, of course, psychiatry/psychology/therapy has been taught from the white, straight, male perspective for so long that it's frequently fucked up.

So you need someone who recognizes and analyzes the role gender plays, and you increase your odds of getting that by going with a woman, given their own real-world experience versus the androcentric perspective peddled as universal.

Sometimes, you just want outsider’s perspective.   You can find new solutions and different ways of looking at things and solving problems by seeing someone from a very different background.  I don’t think I would do well with a therapist who is a 40-something CBC (Canadian born Chinese) woman.  

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On 2/12/2022 at 4:43 PM, ginger90 said:

When I first started driving I always backed into a spot in case I needed a jump. Now, in my old age,  I back into driveways and such if I’m going to be leaving when it’s dark out. I do the same at home, especially in the winter. It’s easier to get out in the snow going forward, rather than backing up.

I always make sure my wheels are straight after the time I needed a tow and the tow truck couldn't get me out of a space between two cars because my wheels were turned.

 

On 2/14/2022 at 6:38 AM, BexKeps said:

 

I back into my driveway as well, the back up camera in my truck is good for backing into a space but we have dog walkers and small children riding bikes all through our neighborhood and it makes me nervous to back into the road. This way I'm going straight and can see in front and both sides of the vehicle. Less stress for me. 

When I took the British driving test decades ago you had to successfully reverse into a side street.  Apparently this was to mimic the manoeuvres needed for parallel parking without putting other vehicles at risk.. Anyone know if this is still part of the test?

14 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

People who eat during virtual meetings. We're having an interactive training, not a lunch meeting.

My former mother- and sister-in law both ate with their mouths open, while talking.  When they did it while on the phone it was particularly nauseating.

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7 minutes ago, Leeds said:

When I took the British driving test decades ago you had to successfully reverse into a side street.  Apparently this was to mimic the manoeuvres needed for parallel parking without putting other vehicles at risk.. Anyone know if this is still part of the test?

I think for my test I had to do a turn around by backing into a side street.  Super easier than parallel parking, IMO.

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The German test requires you to successfully parallel park (you get two attempts), reverse into a side street, start the car uphill driving manual, and an emergency brake situation. I also had to do a 3 point turn. Some testers take you on the autobahn for a bit. At least that's how it was 30 years ago when I did mine.

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All I had to do for my driver's license (in Virginia, in 1980) was drive around the block.  No parking at all, turns in only one direction, and no backing up.  It took about 10 minutes.  The parking lot was so full when we returned that the examiner just told me to put the car anywhere I could find space, and that part wouldn't count as part of the test.

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35 minutes ago, Leeds said:

When I took the British driving test decades ago you had to successfully reverse into a side street.  Apparently this was to mimic the manoeuvres needed for parallel parking without putting other vehicles at risk.. Anyone know if this is still part of the test?

 

8 minutes ago, supposebly said:

The German test requires you to successfully parallel park (you get two attempts), reverse into a side street, start the car uphill driving manual, and an emergency brake situation. I also had to do a 3 point turn. Some testers take you on the autobahn for a bit. At least that's how it was 30 years ago when I did mine.

The Irish test had reversing around the corner, hill start, and the 3 point turn.  Pretty sure they’re all still required!

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37 minutes ago, Leeds said:

My former mother- and sister-in law both ate with their mouths open, while talking.  When they did it while on the phone it was particularly nauseating.

That is one of my biggest pet peeves. I’m misophonic and it literally gets under my skin. Sometimes I have to excuse myself to the ladies room just for a break before my nerves get the best of me. 

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37 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

All I had to do for my driver's license (in Virginia, in 1980) was drive around the block.  No parking at all, turns in only one direction, and no backing up.  It took about 10 minutes.  The parking lot was so full when we returned that the examiner just told me to put the car anywhere I could find space, and that part wouldn't count as part of the test.

When I took my US test a couple of decades ago all I did was leave the test center, drive 100 yards, turn right at a stop sign, then pull over and park on the empty side street.  Five minutes, tops.  I guess the examiner could tell I was competent!

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I took my Ontario tests (we have to pass two) years ago.  Once was in a closed course (which meant that you were tested on everything) and the other was just a trip around the block (which meant that what you were tested on depended on the block you drove around).  

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2 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

That is one of my biggest pet peeves. I’m misophonic and it literally gets under my skin. Sometimes I have to excuse myself to the ladies room just for a break before my nerves get the best of me. 

Apparently so am I. Never knew of the term before. Gum popping is the worst.

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I have a pet peeve, but because I am who I am and like to think people have good reasons for the things the do even if it inconveniences me, it has very specific parameters:

Couples shopping together at the supermarket. 

This does not include:

  • Any couple I silently judge as "this is one of those things they do as together time" which is mostly retired looking people. They're fine with me.
  • Young people, like really young people, swinging through the store and picking up a couple things. They don't even have a cart.
  • A couple who look and sound like they've just moved in together and are figuring things out. Do not ask how I determine this. I just do.

Everybody else, you are in the way while you're bickering, explaining to each other what to go pick up, or generally doing things that ONE PERSON could have handled just fine. 

 

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24 minutes ago, JTMacc99 said:

Young people, like really young people, swinging through the store and picking up a couple things. They don't even have a cart.

I'm not judging your peeve, but why would age make a difference if they don't have a cart and grabbing a couple of things?

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50 minutes ago, JTMacc99 said:

I have a pet peeve, but because I am who I am and like to think people have good reasons for the things the do even if it inconveniences me, it has very specific parameters:

Couples shopping together at the supermarket. 

This does not include:

  • Any couple I silently judge as "this is one of those things they do as together time" which is mostly retired looking people. They're fine with me.
  • Young people, like really young people, swinging through the store and picking up a couple things. They don't even have a cart.
  • A couple who look and sound like they've just moved in together and are figuring things out. Do not ask how I determine this. I just do.

Everybody else, you are in the way while you're bickering, explaining to each other what to go pick up, or generally doing things that ONE PERSON could have handled just fine. 

 

Speaking of grocery shopping:  my pet peeve is when people see their friend and they start chit chatting, right in the middle of an aisle.  I usually mumble “some people are in a hurry” in my ancestral language but not when I hear them speaking Cantonese.  They are always women, usually 60+.  

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39 minutes ago, Katy M said:

I'm not judging your peeve, but why would age make a difference if they don't have a cart and grabbing a couple of things?

I guess I'm just picturing teenagers walking through the store. Make no mistake about it, they are in the way, but they are just kids spending time with each other in any way that their lives allows them to do so.  To me, I have them sorted into the same group as the retired couples.

My judging of people and slotting them into very distinct Good and Bad piles works in mysterious ways.

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22 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

I used to do all the grocery shopping for my family once I got my driver's license. I'd see these older couples, he's clearly retired and just started shopping with his wife. And there the old goat is, questioning her every purchase. "What's that for?" Why do you need that?" And the poor woman would patiently explain every little thing she was doing. I always felt like shouting "Look buddy, your wife has been running your house, single handedly for your entire marriage. She knows why she's buying those things. Just shut the fuck up and push the damn cart!"

I've seen that so many times. Morons!

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3 minutes ago, rcc said:

I've seen that so many times. Morons!

I made a vow back then that I'd never put up with that. A few years ago I was at the drug store with my DH. I had picked up a box of Tampax because even though I'm post menopausal,  it helps with nighttime bladder leaks. He has a loud voice (bless his heart) and he said "What do you need those for?" Several people turned and looked. That was the last time I went shopping with him. He now does all the shopping. Grocery, drug store, pot store, you name it.

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2 hours ago, JTMacc99 said:

I guess I'm just picturing teenagers walking through the store. Make no mistake about it, they are in the way, but they are just kids spending time with each other in any way that their lives allows them to do so.  To me, I have them sorted into the same group as the retired couples.

My judging of people and slotting them into very distinct Good and Bad piles works in mysterious ways.

That I don't like.  The teens, I mean.  Or early 20-somethings.  Goodness GRACIOUS!  I was at a store the a few months ago and these university aged guys (likely housemates) shopping together.  Pretty loud and acting like, well, 20-something guys.  Loads of junk in their cart, of course.  Staff didn't care.  Perhaps they were regulars and staff got used to them....

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9 minutes ago, PRgal said:

That I don't like.  The teens, I mean.  Or early 20-somethings.  Goodness GRACIOUS!  I was at a store the a few months ago and these university aged guys (likely housemates) shopping together.  Pretty loud and acting like, well, 20-something guys.  Loads of junk in their cart, of course.  Staff didn't care.  Perhaps they were regulars and staff got used to them....

Lol. That would’ve made me happy. It would’ve reminded me of all my friends when we were young.

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6 hours ago, Browncoat said:

All I had to do for my driver's license (in Virginia, in 1980) was drive around the block.  No parking at all, turns in only one direction, and no backing up.  It took about 10 minutes.  The parking lot was so full when we returned that the examiner just told me to put the car anywhere I could find space, and that part wouldn't count as part of the test.

Wow I’m so jealous!   The NYS driving test is so damn hard.  We had to parallel park, do k-turns, turn blinkers on and a whole lot of stuff.  I grew up in the suburbs and failed it repeatedly.  In my early thirties I took lessons in Manhattan and was told that the Bronx was the best place to take the test, took it and managed to pass.  Don’t know how well I did but the instructor told me that I did better than I did in high school.  

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I was rather appalled at how little I had to do in order to pass my driving test.  I was a good driver (especially for someone who'd turned 16 that day), but the test was ridiculously easy.  No freeway driving (in Los Angeles!), no parallel parking.  I had to back up in a straight line and do a three-point turn, but otherwise it was just driving a few blocks.

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52 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I was rather appalled at how little I had to do in order to pass my driving test.  I was a good driver (especially for someone who'd turned 16 that day), but the test was ridiculously easy.  No freeway driving (in Los Angeles!), no parallel parking.  I had to back up in a straight line and do a three-point turn, but otherwise it was just driving a few blocks.

Same here! In Maryland, I had the driving test behind the DMV in the parking lot. I did the stop and turn, to determine I came to a full stop at a Stop sign; the three point turn, and parallel parking. I don't remember if I had to back up.

I will admit, though, I failed my first time, because the cop who was the instructor, had to be over 250 pounds, and I thought I felt my mom's brand new Honda Accord, tilt toward his side and so was nervous as all get out, that I couldn't concentrate.

I went back the following week, and passed with a 100%. This time, I got a skinny cop, who clearly smoked like a chimney. 😅

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Peeve = the way it goes from "too early to start seeds" to "start tomatoes now!" in a very short time. Ugh. I've barely even looked at my baker creek catalogue. I bought seed-starting mix a week ago, and one long tray, and meant to get to it on Sunday, just with seeds for greens that I already own, like kale and chard. 

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I was 17 when I took my driver's test. I know that I made a few mistakes, and I was very worried that I'd failed. But apparently the combination of the liquid lunch the examiner had just come back from (I could smell it on him) and the very short skirt I was wearing did the trick. They told me right then and there that I'd passed!

They stopped doing that soon afterward because people started beating up on the examiners when they were told they'd failed. Hey, it's Noo Yawk.

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My peeve today—people that automatically take the opposite view or opinion of something that I’ve said. I’m not talking about strangers online, such as forums like this one—I mean people that you know, such as family members, friends, relatives, etc. I’m not talking about politics or religion or any major topics, either.

I also don’t mean that people can’t disagree with me, but there are certain individuals in my life who frequently and consistently do so. No matter what I say, even if it is a simple statement like, “It sure is sunny today,” they’ll point to clouds and say, “not really.” Or, if I really liked a restaurant or a film, they’ll say say they hated it. 

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Quote

I was 17 when I took my driver's test. I know that I made a few mistakes, and I was very worried that I'd failed. But apparently the combination of the liquid lunch the examiner had just come back from (I could smell it on him) and the very short skirt I was wearing did the trick. They told me right then and there that I'd passed!

Lol. This reminds me of when we were putting an addition on our house. We didn't pass the first inspection (I forget what for) a friend of mine who was also remodeling, told me "I know that inspector, show him a little leg and you'll pass." So every time we had another inspection, I wore my shortest shorts. We passed all the rest of our inspections. Thank god it was summer!

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I'm not sure whether this is a pet peeve or just a peeve, but here goes.  It's long so feel free to skip ahead; I'm just happy to have a place to vent even if no-one reads my post!  (And if I'm in the wrong forum, please let me know.)

I've had a couple of pointless job interviews in my time, but one I had this week took the biscuit.

Through what seemed at the time like serendipity, I saw an ad for a job that seemed tailor made for me - as in, if I could write a job description that perfectly suited my wants, needs, abilities, and desires, this would be it.  Most significantly, it was with a not-for-profit agency that has been very important to my family for decades.  I spent a long time on my cover letter and in making sure my resume was on point for the position.

I was asked in for an interview the next day but the whole experience turned out to be a complete waste of time, not to mention insulting.  The HR person was brusque to the extent of being rude and obviously either had not read or did not remember my resume or cover letter.  She constantly glanced at her computer screen to remind herself of something, and it was quickly apparent that she was asking generic questions that weren't tailored to the specific position, my experience, or the organization itself.  She showed no enthusiasm for what is her own place of employment or any reason for me to want to work there, and just seemed to be going through the motions.

This experience was like going back to the mom and pop store of your childhood and finding it's been taken over by a faceless mega company. 

Sorry to yammer on, but I'm left with a bad taste in my mouth and a sadness.

 

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2 hours ago, Bastet said:

I was rather appalled at how little I had to do in order to pass my driving test. 

If you want to hear about EASY…

“In autumn 1979 the Irish minister for the environment Sylvester Barrett introduced an amnesty for all holders of a second provisional licences in an effort to cut waiting lists for the driving test. It’s believed approximately 45,000 motorists took up the amnesty. At the time Mr Barrett defended the decision by saying that these drivers were not inexperienced as they had already had an earlier provisional licence, had been on the road for several months and in many cases had sat the test. He was right: 15,000 had sat the test – and failed it. The rest hadn’t even bothered with a test.”

I have a family member who got an amnesty license.  I did not (as I passed my test a few years earlier) and have resented it for many years.

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26 minutes ago, Leeds said:

I'm not sure whether this is a pet peeve or just a peeve, but here goes.  It's long so feel free to skip ahead; I'm just happy to have a place to vent even if no-one reads my post!  (And if I'm in the wrong forum, please let me know.)

I've had a couple of pointless job interviews in my time, but one I had this week took the biscuit.

Through what seemed at the time like serendipity, I saw an ad for a job that seemed tailor made for me - as in, if I could write a job description that perfectly suited my wants, needs, abilities, and desires, this would be it.  Most significantly, it was with a not-for-profit agency that has been very important to my family for decades.  I spent a long time on my cover letter and in making sure my resume was on point for the position.

I was asked in for an interview the next day but the whole experience turned out to be a complete waste of time, not to mention insulting.  The HR person was brusque to the extent of being rude and obviously either had not read or did not remember my resume or cover letter.  She constantly glanced at her computer screen to remind herself of something, and it was quickly apparent that she was asking generic questions that weren't tailored to the specific position, my experience, or the organization itself.  She showed no enthusiasm for what is her own place of employment or any reason for me to want to work there, and just seemed to be going through the motions.

This experience was like going back to the mom and pop store of your childhood and finding it's been taken over by a faceless mega company. 

Sorry to yammer on, but I'm left with a bad taste in my mouth and a sadness.

 

Definitely peeve-worthy, but you might also find some commiseration here…
 

 

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3 hours ago, Bastet said:

I was rather appalled at how little I had to do in order to pass my driving test.  I was a good driver (especially for someone who'd turned 16 that day), but the test was ridiculously easy.  No freeway driving (in Los Angeles!), no parallel parking.  I had to back up in a straight line and do a three-point turn, but otherwise it was just driving a few blocks.

I remember our Drivers Ed teacher telling us which DMV to go to to avoid freeway driving, or parallel parking. I bumped the curb upon parking at the end (not parallel) and that should have been an instant fail but the tester said the exam was over and I was just pulling up to park and even the best drivers have been known to bump a the curb.

1 hour ago, Leeds said:

I'm not sure whether this is a pet peeve or just a peeve, but here goes.  It's long so feel free to skip ahead; I'm just happy to have a place to vent even if no-one reads my post!  (And if I'm in the wrong forum, please let me know.)

I've had a couple of pointless job interviews in my time, but one I had this week took the biscuit.

Through what seemed at the time like serendipity, I saw an ad for a job that seemed tailor made for me - as in, if I could write a job description that perfectly suited my wants, needs, abilities, and desires, this would be it.  Most significantly, it was with a not-for-profit agency that has been very important to my family for decades.  I spent a long time on my cover letter and in making sure my resume was on point for the position.

I was asked in for an interview the next day but the whole experience turned out to be a complete waste of time, not to mention insulting.  The HR person was brusque to the extent of being rude and obviously either had not read or did not remember my resume or cover letter.  She constantly glanced at her computer screen to remind herself of something, and it was quickly apparent that she was asking generic questions that weren't tailored to the specific position, my experience, or the organization itself.  She showed no enthusiasm for what is her own place of employment or any reason for me to want to work there, and just seemed to be going through the motions.

This experience was like going back to the mom and pop store of your childhood and finding it's been taken over by a faceless mega company. 

Sorry to yammer on, but I'm left with a bad taste in my mouth and a sadness.

 

That sucks. Was it a recruiter screening or the hiring manager? It doesn't excuse the rudeness but they may not know the specifics of the job.

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10 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

 

That sucks. Was it a recruiter screening or the hiring manager? It doesn't excuse the rudeness but they may not know the specifics of the job.

Astonishingly, I was interviewed by the person the hire will be directly reporting to.  In retrospect, I suspect the head of the agency may have specifically asked her to interview me. rather than her independently making the decision.  But even if that were the case, it does not, as you say, excuse her rudeness.

Edited by Leeds
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20 hours ago, Leeds said:

I was asked in for an interview the next day but the whole experience turned out to be a complete waste of time, not to mention insulting.

Given the good fit of the job itself and history you personally have with this particular non-profit, may I suggest you take the time to write a concise letter about your interview experience and send it to a higher-up at the company (get the appropriate name off the website or elsewhere)? I realize you may have concluded that no way do you want to wind up actually working for the individual who interviewed you, but you might be doing the non-profit a service if you have the inclination.

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