Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Suzn]

I can't resist another genealogy story.  The mother of a friend of mine was adopted and he wanted to find her bio parents and to learn their ancestral background.  He bought his mother an Ancestry DNA test and immediately they were contacted by a first cousin of hers and a large family and their story tumbled out.  His mother's mother, still alive in her 90s, siblings, including a couple of siblings  who were also put out for adoption suddenly were all there, including family pictures.  I don't think his mother has chosen to meet them yet, maybe never plans to, but life long mysteries are solved.

[Jeanne222]

10 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

I don't even know his name.  All I know is that my mom and stepfather were married, and my mom left him for some period of time, which I think was over a year. During that time, she got pregnant with me by some unknown man. Shortly after my birth, they got back together. There is no fathers name on my birth certificate.  It says "unknown". 

You've peeked my interest.  I wonder if that codis dna is used to find parents, siblings?  

If your mother said unknown maybe she doesn't know.  I would look into old friends, neighbors, work buddies.  Anybody your mother knew back then.  An old school chum.

The address you lived at when you were born had neighbors you could find on census reports.

[QuinnInND]

14 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

You've peeked my interest.  I wonder if that codis dna is used to find parents, siblings?  

If your mother said unknown maybe she doesn't know.  I would look into old friends, neighbors, work buddies.  Anybody your mother knew back then.  An old school chum.

The address you lived at when you were born had neighbors you could find on census reports.

I'm thinking she knew his name, but didn't put it because my stepfather would have killed him. Literally. To protect my bio dad. My stepfather was an ugly, violent, vengeful man.  He always told me how "lucky" I was that he took my mother back, with her "bastard" child. 🙄 Yeah... Lucky.. Right. And if he ever found out who my bio dad was, he'd kill him. Fun stuff like that. 

Edited January 24, 2021 by QuinnInND

[Jeanne222]

13 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

I'm thinking she knew his name, but didn't put it because my stepfather would have killed him. Literally. To protect my bio dad. My stepfather was an ugly, violent, vengeful man.  He always told me how "lucky" I was that he took my mother back, with her "bastard" child. 🙄 Yeah... Lucky.. Right. And if he ever found out who my bio dad was, he'd kill him. Fun stuff like that. 

I had an alcoholic, wife beater for a step father too!  We both got the short end of the stick!  Hugs kiddo!

[QuinnInND]

With regard to the covid vaccine.  A friend of mine posted on Facebook some article she found about a person in California who died after getting the vaccine. Her reaction was "Hell no. Definitely not getting it now!"  🙄 I just can't y'all. Overreacting much? 

15 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

I had an alcoholic, wife beater for a step father too!  We both got the short end of the stick!  Hugs kiddo!

Hugs! And I got beaten with the stick. And anything else he could find. Including his hands. 

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, QuinnInND said:

I'm thinking she knew his name, but didn't put it because my stepfather would have killed him. Literally. To protect my bio dad. My stepfather was an ugly, violent, vengeful man.  He always told me how "lucky" I was that he took my mother back, with her "bastard" child. 🙄 Yeah... Lucky.. Right. And if he ever found out who my bio dad was, he'd kill him. Fun stuff like that. 

I’m very sorry you and your mother had to live with a person like that. She likely did not name him to protect him. 
 

If you want to (of course no pressure), putting your dna in 23& Me/Ancestry may match you with some half siblings or paternal cousins/nieces/nephews. If any of them are interested in matching with people or finding new relatives you’d know based on their profile visibility. They might know who your bio dad might be based on what men in their family were the right age/in the right location etc at the time of your conception. 

[iwantcookies]

I might do 23 and me for fun.

 

I don’t expect to find my father. He wanted nothing to do with me. His whole family pretended his first wife/kid didn’t exist. I’m definitely his. I look exactly like him/his mother. I wish I looked like my mom. 
 

I didn’t need a stepfather for all the beatings I got. My mom  really enjoyed abusing me. 
 

 

 

6 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

Update from yesterday's ice skating wipe out. My hip is a little bruised, and is not happy about the stairs right now, but a couple Tylenol and it's not bad.  I've been hurt way worse. Glad nothing is broken. 

@Scarlett45 you're a wonderful person and Cosmo is going to be a happy pampered pooch.

 

I’m glad you didn’t get seriously hurt !

[QuinnInND]

2 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

I might do 23 and me for fun.

 

I don’t expect to find my father. He wanted nothing to do with me. His whole family pretended his first wife/kid didn’t exist. I’m definitely his. I look exactly like him/his mother. I wish I looked like my mom. 
 

I didn’t need a stepfather for all the beatings I got. My mom  really enjoyed abusing me. 
 

 

 

I’m glad you didn’t get seriously hurt !

I'm sorry you had a mom like that. 😞

 

[GeeGolly]

9 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

I might do 23 and me for fun.

 

I don’t expect to find my father. He wanted nothing to do with me. His whole family pretended his first wife/kid didn’t exist. I’m definitely his. I look exactly like him/his mother. I wish I looked like my mom. 
 

I didn’t need a stepfather for all the beatings I got. My mom  really enjoyed abusing me. 
 

I’m glad you didn’t get seriously hurt !

I'm a little confused. You know who your dad and his family are? I think the DNA is more about finding the genetic connection, than the physical location.

So sorry your mom abused you Cookie.

[DangerousMinds]

Just now, GeeGolly said:

I'm a little confused. You know who your dad and his family are? I think the DNA is more about finding the genetic connection, than the physical location.

So sorry your mom abused you Cookie.

Yes, 23 & Me doesn’t give you anyone’s address.

[Quof]

6 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

Update from yesterday's ice skating wipe out

Helpful hint - don't look at your ass in the mirror to check for bruises.  Nothing good can come of that.

[iwantcookies]

5 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I'm a little confused. You know who your dad and his family are? I think the DNA is more about finding the genetic connection, than the physical location.

So sorry your mom abused you Cookie.

I am not looking for him at all. Maybe his other kids will be on there. Just interested how many kids he had in total. I wouldn’t contact them either. Just very curious lady over here!

I want to know what my DNA says about me 

[doodlebug]

4 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

Same here in Ohio. I kept randomly checking out our state’s public health site in the middle of the night and finally found some openings. My 85-year old mom got her first dose yesterday. She wouldn’t have been able to figure it all out on her own. It’s a mess.

Ohio is having supply issues, as are a lot of other states.  My employer is sending messages to patients already seeing a provider in the system, offering the vaccination as they become eligible.  Ohio did 85 and up last week and I believe it is 75 and up as well as some pre-existing conditions starting this week.   My employer was very efficient, using up 98% or better of their vaccine allotment each week.  BTW, in their employee vaccination program; 90% of all practitioners got the vaccine in case anyone was wondering if the doctors believe in the vaccine.

However, I just checked and it seems the COVID vaccine program for patients is on hold due to lack of vaccine.  It will probably open up again in a day or so as new supplies arrive, but it is disappointing to see that the vaccine supply is still tenuous.  I hope it improves in the coming weeks.

The state medical board here asked all licensed practitioners, MD's. PA's RN's, DDS and even DVM's to volunteer to administer vaccine once they get some large sites up and running.  I volunteered as have many of the people I work with.  I will work every dam* Saturday for free until we get this thing done.  Unfortunately, supply issues seem to have put this on hold, too.

My employer is really efficient in distributing vaccines, when they have them.  I waited less than 2 minutes, it was basically a walk-through, and was out in under 20, including my 15 minutes waiting afterwards in case of adverse reactions.  There are about 20 of us working in my office and we all had that kind of experience.

Edited January 24, 2021 by doodlebug

[doodlebug]

5 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

All this talk about genealogy and finding relatives you never knew you had, has gotten me thinking about finding my bio dad. Just for info mostly. I don't even know if he knows I exist. My mother is still alive, but I'm loathe to contact her. I haven't had any contact with her since I left home in 1997. Not sure what she would say or whatnot.  Not sure what other way to find out his name though. 

 Any other relatives or longtime family friends who might know or might remember something that could lead you to him?

Edited January 25, 2021 by doodlebug

[doodlebug]

4 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

With regard to the covid vaccine.  A friend of mine posted on Facebook some article she found about a person in California who died after getting the vaccine. Her reaction was "Hell no. Definitely not getting it now!"  🙄 I just can't y'all. Overreacting much? 

Hugs! And I got beaten with the stick. And anything else he could find. Including his hands. 

Tell your friend about the 400,000 who died after NOT getting it.

Considering that a lot of the people getting vaccinated right now are very elderly and most elderly people have significant health issues; there are going to be some people who will die within a short period after getting it because they were old and sick to start with.  I see the tinfoil hat crowd is already out speculating about Hank Aaron dying 2 weeks after getting the first dose.  Because 86 year olds never die in their sleep.

[Oldernowiser]

7 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

Tell your friend about the 400,000 who died after NOT getting it.

Hell to the hell yes. Someone is handing you a damned rope while you’re dangling off a damned cliff and the answer is “no, because I heard someone died while falling off a cliff”????

I can’t with the stupid. I just can’t.

[QuinnInND]

35 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

Tell your friend about the 400,000 who died after NOT getting it.

She had the virus in November. She was sick, but not hospitalized. About 2 weeks after she was feeling better, she went on a plane to Vegas for a friend's wedding.  She thinks since she had it, she's bulletproof. She went out to a restaurant for her birthday, and my comment was "You're braver than me" and her comment back was "I've had it, and I'm going to live my life now." 🙄She's a 56 year old cancer survivor. She should know better. But no. 

43 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

 Any other relatives or longtime family friends who might know or might remember something that could lead you to him?

Not to my knowledge no.  

24 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

Hell to the hell yes. Someone is handing you a damned rope while you’re dangling off a damned cliff and the answer is “no, because I heard someone died while falling off a cliff”????

I can’t with the stupid. I just can’t.

But she had it in November and was pretty sick, and recovered. She thinks she's bulletproof now. She's "living her life" now like she's got nothing to fear.  And she's planning a trip to the beach in the near future for, as she puts it "beach therapy". 🙄

Edited January 25, 2021 by QuinnInND

[Jeanne222]

When I see the news reports about covid patients in the hospital there are so many really old, frail people in those beds on ventilators!

That makes me think taking the vaccine might just free up those beds and ventilators so hospital staff can catch their breath and a bed might be available for a younger person that needs it!  Getting the vaccine is giving grace. 

Hubby and I would never survive covid.  We ran to get it and shouted Thank You Jesus!

[Love2dance]

I am so sorry for all of you who suffered from abuse and beatings in your childhood. No child deserves that. Wish I could erase those memories for you.

[emma675]

6 hours ago, Quof said:

Helpful hint - don't look at your ass in the mirror to check for bruises.  Nothing good can come of that.

Seriously, don't do it! I broke my tailbone in Italy a few years ago slipping down some marble steps in the rain, tried to check out my bruises in a hotel room mirror, and I was scarred for life. 

[marypat57]

I took the Ancestry DNA test several years ago because I was curious about what might turn up.  I though I might be able to find out when the first of my ancestors came to the US.  My grandfather on my father's side was orphaned at an early age, and lived with a truly wicked stepmother.  He left home at the age of 11 or 12, and went to live with a friend’s family.  He and his friend later married sisters.  
 

I sat at my computer and laughed when I opened the email from Ancestry.   Turns out that my ancestry is 100% British Isles—mostly Irish, but a bit of Welsh and Scottish.  I was able to track down my grandfather’s mom, who came from Ireland    in the early 1890s.  She married my great grandfather, who was a NYC police officer.  They lived in the Bronx, and had 4 children, with my grandfather being the baby.  He was the youngest, only 13 months old when his mother died on St Patrick’s day in 1902.  My great grandfather was born in the Five Points area in lower Manhattan and his mother (my great great grandma) was born in Pennsylvania.  

Ive also been able to connect with people from my mother’s side of the family.  It’s been quite interesting.

[GeeGolly]

25 million Americans have had covid. 400,000 have died.

20 million Americans have had the covid vaccine. No known deaths from it.

I'd say the vaccine appears much safer than covid.

[Rabbittron]

,Well I just found out that I will be moving to a  different place today a rehab center in other words a nursing home. 

[Mindthinkr]

1 hour ago, Rabbittron said:

,Well I just found out that I will be moving to a  different place today a rehab center in other words a nursing home. 

I hope it was one of the lucky places where all the residents were able to get the vaccine. 

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Rabbittron said:

,Well I just found out that I will be moving to a  different place today a rehab center in other words a nursing home. 

That’s a less than comfortable situation, especially with the pandemic, but I hope you can recover as quickly as possible and get home soon. 

[Rabbittron]

19 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

I hope it was one of the lucky places where all the residents were able to get the vaccine. 

I already have the first dosage next week I get the 2nd shot.

[ginger90]

Saw this on Facebook:

[crazycatlady58]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

Saw this on Facebook:

One of my favorite memes. 

[Scarlett45]

I took a Facebook break at the start of the pandemic. I had to adjust to WFH and I didn’t need all the “noise” in my head.

And truthfully I DO NOT MISS IT. Now I do miss some group conversations*, but everyone I actually care to talk to has my phone number and we have actual conversations/FaceTime sessions. And I do have this forum has an escape. But I’m thinking about all the time throughout the years I spent on Facebook when I could’ve been doing something else!

 

*I do have a few close friends I wouldn’t have gotten close to if I hadn’t met through Facebook and I don’t regret that of course. 

[Ohiopirate02]

I have found a way to get my vaccine before May.  The local hospital here is doing vaccinations at the convention center and sent out an email today asking for volunteers.  I am more than willing to give up 5 hours on my Sundays to get the vaccine.  I replied to the email, and am now waiting to see if I make the cut.  

[Oldernowiser]

2 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I have found a way to get my vaccine before May.  The local hospital here is doing vaccinations at the convention center and sent out an email today asking for volunteers.  I am more than willing to give up 5 hours on my Sundays to get the vaccine.  I replied to the email, and am now waiting to see if I make the cut.  

My sister got her vaccine in Ohio because she volunteers for the Red Cross. She’s had the first...she said it wasn’t bad at all, better than the flu shot or the shingles vaccine. I hope it works out for you!

[doodlebug]

6 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

My sister got her vaccine in Ohio because she volunteers for the Red Cross. She’s had the first...she said it wasn’t bad at all, better than the flu shot or the shingles vaccine. I hope it works out for you!

I heard back from the state that I've been accepted into their volunteer program to give COVID vaccine; but no actual assignment yet.

[Westiepeach]

27 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

I heard back from the state that I've been accepted into their volunteer program to give COVID vaccine; but no actual assignment yet.

Us Cleveland people may need to have a code word to see if you are the one giving us the vaccine...

[doodlebug]

6 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

Us Cleveland people may need to have a code word to see if you are the one giving us the vaccine...

I'll let you know if and when I get an assignment.

[Zella]

21 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

Us Cleveland people may need to have a code word to see if you are the one giving us the vaccine...

My suggestion is "Nike!" 😉 

[MargeGunderson]

May I whine about something truly unimportant in the grand scheme of things? There is utility work happening on my street and is scheduled to continue for weeks. They are currently digging a large trench in the middle of the street to lay new gas lines. It is noisy (including constant beeping and a high pitched squeal) plus the vibrations rattle the windows and give me a low-level headache. It’s hard to focus and to hear conference calls. The worst though is that I CAN’T GET TO STARBUCKS.

Thank you for listening to Basic Bitches Bitching. We will now return to our regularly scheduled programming. 

Edited January 25, 2021 by MargeGunderson

[Minivanessa]

11 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

May I whine about something truly unimportant in the grand scheme of things? There is utility work happening on my street and is scheduled to continue for weeks. They are currently digging a large trench in the middle of the street to lay new gas lines. It is noisy (including constant beeping and a high pitched squeal) plus the vibrations is rattle the windows and give me a low-level headache. It’s hard to focus and to hear conference calls. The worst though is that I CAN’T GET TO STARBUCKS.

Thank you for listening to Basic Bitches Bitching. We will now return to our regularly scheduled programming. 

Come over here and sit down by me - well, okay, six feet down the bench from me, with your mask on.

I'm in a condo building, a 4 story one, built of concrete back in the late 70's. They aren't building 'em like this anymore and I don't hear my neighbors' toilets flushing, or doors closing, etc. But. Construction/remodeling noises if they involve drilling and hammering, really reverberate around the building. It can get crazy because you can't always tell where the noise is coming from. Anyway, the nice neighbors upstairs AND across the hall, have a remodeling project going on. I think they're close to finished, but OMG when the new flooring was being installed, it was so annoying in here. I'm WFH and couldn't escape it. At least they were good about observing the rules for working hours for that stuff. 

But I had a couple of headaches during all that. I know it's not important in the grand scheme of things - but being pretty much trapped where you're subjected to that kind of noise, is annoying to the max.

Edited January 25, 2021 by Jeeves
words and numbers

[Ohiopirate02]

7 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

May I whine about something truly unimportant in the grand scheme of things? There is utility work happening on my street and is scheduled to continue for weeks. They are currently digging a large trench in the middle of the street to lay new gas lines. It is noisy (including constant beeping and a high pitched squeal) plus the vibrations is rattle the windows and give me a low-level headache. It’s hard to focus and to hear conference calls. The worst though is that I CAN’T GET TO STARBUCKS.

Thank you for listening to Basic Bitches Bitching. We will now return to our regularly scheduled programming. 

I feel your pain.  Back when I was an undergrad, the university was building a new building close to my dorm.  The building required massive concrete pillars being inserted into the ground.  For some truly unknown and downright bizarre reason, construction began every morning at 7am including weekends.  My whole dorm shook for hours.  Needless to say, we were livid.  Fortunately, a couple of people who knew some people lived in my dorm.  We received a credit for our inconvenience.  

[Scarlett45]

My lucky day y’all! I decided to pick up trash in my neighborhood after my afternoon walk with Cosmo and look what I found in my OWN FLOWER BED!

[Scarlett45]

53 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

May I whine about something truly unimportant in the grand scheme of things? There is utility work happening on my street and is scheduled to continue for weeks. They are currently digging a large trench in the middle of the street to lay new gas lines. It is noisy (including constant beeping and a high pitched squeal) plus the vibrations rattle the windows and give me a low-level headache. It’s hard to focus and to hear conference calls. The worst though is that I CAN’T GET TO STARBUCKS.

Thank you for listening to Basic Bitches Bitching. We will now return to our regularly scheduled programming. 

Whine away! That’s a PITA!

[emma675]

13 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

My lucky day y’all! I decided to pick up trash in my neighborhood after my afternoon walk with Cosmo and look what I found in my OWN FLOWER BED!

MargeGunderson, it looks like the Starbucks is on Scarlett45 today!

[Turquoise]

My sister was heavy into genealogy for a while...she claimed she traced our mom's family back to Joseph of Arimathea. I was always skeptical, but when Mr Turquoise and I were honeymooning in the UK/Ireland, we spent a day at Glastonbury. At Glastonbury Abbey we found out there was a whole cult devoted to Joseph, and many members claimed lineage to him. Now we joke (away from my sister, who does not have a robust sense of humor) that I have cult members on one side of my family. LOL

Edited January 25, 2021 by Turquoise
Used the wrong word!

[QuinnInND]

So apparently the universe listens. Today, the doorbell rang. A man who identified himself as a private detective asked me if I was *insert my name here*. I asked what he wanted, and he said he had a envelope for me. He had credentials which we have since verified. He said he was hired by my half sister and mother to find me and give me this envelope. He called them by name. He said he won't tell them my address or my married name or anything. Not sure if he will or not. I almost fell over.  It's a manila envelope that contains 2 separate letters. One from my mother and one from my sister. I was stunned beyond belief. I'm still shaking. My husband was blown away by this. He said if I don't want to open them, that's OK. Not sure if I do or not.  

[Scarlett45]

Just now, QuinnInND said:

So apparently the universe listens. Today, the doorbell rang. A man who identified himself as a private detective asked me if I was *insert my name here*. I asked what he wanted, and he said he had a envelope for me. He had credentials which we have since verified. He said he was hired by my half sister and mother to find me and give me this envelope. He called them by name. He said he won't tell them my address or my married name or anything. Not sure if he will or not. I almost fell over.  It's a manila envelope that contains 2 separate letters. One from my mother and one from my sister. I was stunned beyond belief. I'm still shaking. My husband was blown away by this. He said if I don't want to open them, that's OK. Not sure if I do or not.  

Wow. 
 

You don’t have to decide right now. Just put them in a drawer and do whatever feels right. 

[Happyfatchick]

8 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

My lucky day y’all! I decided to pick up trash in my neighborhood after my afternoon walk with Cosmo and look what I found in my OWN FLOWER BED!

Yuck!  I hate snow.  I’m surprised you were happy to find that out there.

I have to go back to the subject of spitting in a cup.  My son gave me the thing last year and drove me nuts until I put my spit in the mail.  All the while thinking:  if my family tree gets any worse, I’m getting a divorce.  

That said:  my relatives that come by boatloads are Amish and I’m not sure they’re allowed to spit in cups yet.  Although they can have dang CELL PHONES these days!!  And use internet.  And some have solar panels for power.  Solar power comes from God, you see, whereas power than comes through a power line is man-made.  (Seriously:  the “New Amish” is the old Mennonite).  But what I can tell you off the top of my head goes like this:  my father had a love child (and left.  The Amish.  Seriously, ran away and left her.  He improved a whole lot after that and made all he restitution he could, and in the end was unbanned by the Amish church before he died.  He was SIXTEEN!!!  and stupid.  I don’t mean he was unbanned and went back to Amish, but he was able to dine with them and they could ride in a car with him, accept gifts from him, and visit without it being on the DL.  But I digress.).  Anyway, so pregnant 16 year old marries a FRUIT LOOP crazy guy, and DIES giving birth to HIS child two years later.  He’s left with a newborn and a little girl who’s not even his, and MARRIES MY DATHERS WIDOWED SISTER.  Who then raises the little girl as her own child and little girl never knows any better until my dad went crawling back up there when she was 15.  She found out because of that visit.  

so.  There you go.  If an ancestry can give me something more twisted than that, I’m not sure I want to know:  I’m saying I love my people, but I don’t want any more.  

[emma675]

24 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

So apparently the universe listens. Today, the doorbell rang. A man who identified himself as a private detective asked me if I was *insert my name here*. I asked what he wanted, and he said he had a envelope for me. He had credentials which we have since verified. He said he was hired by my half sister and mother to find me and give me this envelope. He called them by name. He said he won't tell them my address or my married name or anything. Not sure if he will or not. I almost fell over.  It's a manila envelope that contains 2 separate letters. One from my mother and one from my sister. I was stunned beyond belief. I'm still shaking. My husband was blown away by this. He said if I don't want to open them, that's OK. Not sure if I do or not.  

Wow, are these the ones you were just describing up thread? I honestly wouldn't know what to do if I were in your shoes. How crazy!

[QuinnInND]

2 minutes ago, emma675 said:

Wow, are these the ones you were just describing up thread? I honestly wouldn't know what to do if I were in your shoes. How crazy!

They are. I'm just blown away. I had teacher in service training today (virtual of course), and I couldn't concentrate when I came back from answering the door. One of my coworkers said I looked like I'd seen a ghost. I was white as a sheet. My kids noticed. "Mom, are you OK?" It's unreal. I have no words. 

[QuinnInND]

14 minutes ago, Happyfatchick said:

Yuck!  I hate snow.  I’m surprised you were happy to find that out there.

I have to go back to the subject of spitting in a cup.  My son gave me the thing last year and drove me nuts until I put my spit in the mail.  All the while thinking:  if my family tree gets any worse, I’m getting a divorce.  

That said:  my relatives that come by boatloads are Amish and I’m not sure they’re allowed to spit in cups yet.  Although they can have dang CELL PHONES these days!!  And use internet.  And some have solar panels for power.  Solar power comes from God, you see, whereas power than comes through a power line is man-made.  (Seriously:  the “New Amish” is the old Mennonite).  But what I can tell you off the top of my head goes like this:  my father had a love child (and left.  The Amish.  Seriously, ran away and left her.  He improved a whole lot after that and made all he restitution he could, and in the end was unbanned by the Amish church before he died.  He was SIXTEEN!!!  and stupid.  I don’t mean he was unbanned and went back to Amish, but he was able to dine with them and they could ride in a car with him, accept gifts from him, and visit without it being on the DL.  But I digress.).  Anyway, so pregnant 16 year old marries a FRUIT LOOP crazy guy, and DIES giving birth to HIS child two years later.  He’s left with a newborn and a little girl who’s not even his, and MARRIES MY DATHERS WIDOWED SISTER.  Who then raises the little girl as her own child and little girl never knows any better until my dad went crawling back up there when she was 15.  She found out because of that visit.  

so.  There you go.  If an ancestry can give me something more twisted than that, I’m not sure I want to know:  I’m saying I love my people, but I don’t want any more.  

That's crazy! That could be a script for a Lifetime movie. Wow. What did your son say about it? 

[Happyfatchick]

@QuinnInND all that circulalar equation mess I said up there is just background noise in my family.  He left the Amish in the 1940’s and they shunned him.  Gave him the finger the ban.  He went into the Army and retired am E9,  retired a second time from Westinghouse.  Joined a Baptist church and lived his entire adult life being a tee-totaling deacon.  We trekked to ‘Mecca” at least once a year till he died.  He had a great relationship with his daughter after she was out and married and pumping out babies of her own.  My MOTHER had a great relationship with this older child as well.  My mother provided clothing and made things for all their children, and organized all their trips to go see her and their family.  The ban was just a fact of our lives Until it was  lifted about 10 or so years before he died.  I grew up with flow charts and family charts like org charts.  Colored markers, pins with string pointing to who matches whom.  We are legendary.  But hey, all the cousins being about my age, we had KILLER ball teams when we were younger complete with playoffs and championship game.  Hells bells, if the Amish start sending spit across the country - they’ll have to hire more help to sort spit and distribute the results.  

 

[Jeanne222]

1 hour ago, QuinnInND said:

So apparently the universe listens. Today, the doorbell rang. A man who identified himself as a private detective asked me if I was *insert my name here*. I asked what he wanted, and he said he had a envelope for me. He had credentials which we have since verified. He said he was hired by my half sister and mother to find me and give me this envelope. He called them by name. He said he won't tell them my address or my married name or anything. Not sure if he will or not. I almost fell over.  It's a manila envelope that contains 2 separate letters. One from my mother and one from my sister. I was stunned beyond belief. I'm still shaking. My husband was blown away by this. He said if I don't want to open them, that's OK. Not sure if I do or not.  

Whoa that caught me off guard.  Imagine that.  Other than being shocked how do you feel about your mother and half sister?  Do you think about them and wish them in your life?

Lots of things to consider and mostly protecting your heart and your family.

It could be like Pandoras box.  Once you open it....

I am curious about this detective.  If he was indeed hired by your mother to find you then isn't he required to give her your information.  He's not paid to protect you.  He's working for his client.

That has me confused.

In the meantime hugs to you and YOU do what's right forYOU!