Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Ijustwantsomechips]

That exterminator was cute. I’ll have to request he treat the interior next time just to get him to come inside 😏

Edited August 19, 2020 by Ijustwantsomechips

[Love2dance]

@Ijustwantsomechips, we are here for you! Feel free to share whatever is in your heart. And I agree, you should not have to go anywhere you will be uncomfortable, especially in these already trying times. 
And good luck sleuthing info on the exterminator.

[Totally]

On 8/9/2020 at 1:02 AM, Ohiopirate02 said:

Has anyone else been watching these brothers discover classic music--

 

I could watch these boys all day.  

I have well and truly fallen down the rabbit hole, I have neglected my favourite snark forums in order to watch many many videos 

have my youngest hooked too 😳

[galaxychaser]

I put 3 masks to wash. Came home and only 1 is in the bag. Guess the washer/dryer ate the other 2.

[Hangin Out]

9 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Well...you’ll never guess what I’m dealing with. Yup snakes. In our area there has been an explosion of copperheads. 
I’m mostly seeing a lot of the harmless ones. I’ll start down the back steps and voilá one’s there. It slithers under the bushes, but I have to thru those same bushes to turn on the water for my plants. So let’s just say I’m toting water from the kitchen. Who sells thigh high snake boots lol? I’m so short regular knee high wouldn’t be tall enough. Feel free to laugh at me. 
   

OMG .. I’m dying!  And I’m complaining about the cricket we just killed this morning in one of the bathrooms.  Have to get those sticky strips for every room in the house.  Snakes !  Yikes!  No joke.

[Hangin Out]

8 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

That exterminator was cute. I’ll have to request he treat the interior next time iyst to get him to come inside 😏

Offer him a Peach Snapple and bring him in the kitchen.  Men love peach Snapple, lol.

[lookeyloo]

OMG I am snake phobic and couldn't read those posts and then the picture!!!!!  I have to go lie down!!!!!!

[Westiepeach]

11 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Well...you’ll never guess what I’m dealing with. Yup snakes. In our area there has been an explosion of copperheads. 
I’m mostly seeing a lot of the harmless ones. I’ll start down the back steps and voilá one’s there. It slithers under the bushes, but I have to thru those same bushes to turn on the water for my plants. So let’s just say I’m toting water from the kitchen. Who sells thigh high snake boots lol? I’m so short regular knee high wouldn’t be tall enough. Feel free to laugh at me. 
   

So you are burning down the house, right?

[Hangin Out]

17 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

OMG I am snake phobic and couldn't read those posts and then the picture!!!!!  I have to go lie down!!!!!!

Me too.  I live in the north east and we have little garden snakes, but when my neighbor told me one or two came in his house, I won’t garden anymore or put my hands in the soil at all.  I am PETRIFIED of snakes.  This morning, we put out sticky tapes in each room for spiders and a freakin cricket that come from the air conditioning vents and faucets.  It’s only the beginning.  

 

 

 

 

[CouchTater]

I had a garter snake in my basement a few years ago.  I shut down mentally (my advanced coping technique) put a large bin over him, and then heavy books on top of that.  Somehow he escaped!  Then my nephews came over and found/removed the snake.  Then my brother, their dad, kept it a a pet for a couple of years until my brother passed.  He named it Spaghetti.  LOL

[Love2dance]

8 hours ago, galaxychaser said:

I put 3 masks to wash. Came home and only 1 is in the bag. Guess the washer/dryer ate the other 2.

The missing socks must have needed masks. 😉

[Scarlett45]

I did it! I got my cavity filled! All in all it wasn’t a bad experience- but I expect to have 50yrs of life left and I don’t intend to have another cavity, so I asked what to do so that this never happens again. It was suggested I buy a water floss. Has anyone used those? Do you recommend one?

 

My mouth is droopy but other than that I feel okay. 

[emma675]

I've been dealing with hornets all summer. I usually catch most when they are just starting to build their nests but somehow I missed one by the front porch. Yesterday, my mail was laying all over the front porch steps instead of in the letter box and I couldn't figure out why our mailman would do that. Then I saw a hornet's next about the size of a baseball in the corner of the porch! I have no idea how I missed that for probably days since I take the dog walking every day. I sprayed the heck out of it with hornet killer and knocked down the nest with a broom (and found a second nest just starting a few feet away). Today, I have about a dozen hornets flying around the porch and front walk way, looking for their nest, I guess? I'm so done with this year, I swear. 

[GeeGolly]

I'm afraid to even comment on all the slithering, crawling and flying nuisances, because its 2020 and I don't want to tempt the fates. 🐛🐍🐝🐁

[Scarlett45]

31 minutes ago, emma675 said:

I've been dealing with hornets all summer. I usually catch most when they are just starting to build their nests but somehow I missed one by the front porch. Yesterday, my mail was laying all over the front porch steps instead of in the letter box and I couldn't figure out why our mailman would do that. Then I saw a hornet's next about the size of a baseball in the corner of the porch! I have no idea how I missed that for probably days since I take the dog walking every day. I sprayed the heck out of it with hornet killer and knocked down the nest with a broom (and found a second nest just starting a few feet away). Today, I have about a dozen hornets flying around the porch and front walk way, looking for their nest, I guess? I'm so done with this year, I swear. 

You’re not allergic are you? Did you do that at night? I’m deathly allergic so I let the exterminator handle things like that. 

[galaxychaser]

1 hour ago, Love2dance said:

The missing socks must have needed masks. 😉

Thats what I thought! 

[lookeyloo]

2 hours ago, CouchTater said:

I had a garter snake in my basement a few years ago.  I shut down mentally (my advanced coping technique) put a large bin over him, and then heavy books on top of that.  Somehow he escaped!  Then my nephews came over and found/removed the snake.  Then my brother, their dad, kept it a a pet for a couple of years until my brother passed.  He named it Spaghetti.  LOL

I told Mr lookeyloo that if that ever happened, caught or not, I would have to move.  

[frenchtoast]

37 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I did it! I got my cavity filled! All in all it wasn’t a bad experience- but I expect to have 50yrs of life left and I don’t intend to have another cavity, so I asked what to do so that this never happens again. It was suggested I buy a water floss. Has anyone used those? Do you recommend one?

 

My mouth is droopy but other than that I feel okay. 

My kids used a Water Pik when they had braces since flossing was more difficult. It worked pretty well, they did not get cavities with the braces. I find it better than floss because even the hygienist rams my gums with regular floss because my teeth are so tight. According to the same hygienist it doesn't do as good a job as flossing but it's way better than not flossing. I don't floss with a water flosser or floss. I use a sonic toothbrush and that seems to do fine. I will note, the Water Pik is loud. And you have to lean of the sink as water dribbles out of your mouth. It's a process, that's for sure.

[Oldernowiser]

We had a cat who used to bring garden snakes inside...still alive. Ironically, I couldn’t handle that at all so Mr. Wiser did, but last summer when a larger one of these somehow got through the garage doors and traveled thirty feet into my husband’s office, he was useless,so I used a dustpan and a box and dumped it outside, no problem.

It’s funny the things that freak us out and the things that don’t...

 

[Ijustwantsomechips]

I second the WaterPik, but you are supposed to still use regular floss too.  I’d recommend super floss. It’s made for braces so it’s on a long string and very easy to use. 

[emma675]

44 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

You’re not allergic are you? Did you do that at night? I’m deathly allergic so I let the exterminator handle things like that. 

I am, I swell up like a beach ball when I get stung (and then have to go on prednisone, which makes me rage-y, which is a whole other story), but I hit the nest at sundown with long-range spray. The little bastards were attempting to build another nest in a second corner of the porch today so I'll be back out there tonight. 

[Scarlett45]

39 minutes ago, emma675 said:

I am, I swell up like a beach ball when I get stung (and then have to go on prednisone, which makes me rage-y, which is a whole other story), but I hit the nest at sundown with long-range spray. The little bastards were attempting to build another nest in a second corner of the porch today so I'll be back out there tonight. 

Please be careful!!!

[CalicoKitty]

3 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I did it! I got my cavity filled! All in all it wasn’t a bad experience- but I expect to have 50yrs of life left and I don’t intend to have another cavity, so I asked what to do so that this never happens again. It was suggested I buy a water floss. Has anyone used those? Do you recommend one?

 

My mouth is droopy but other than that I feel okay. 

I have the Sonicare air flosser which uses air and mouthwash (or water, if you prefer).  I love it.

[Absolom]

Ask the dentist for prescription flouride toothpaste if you don't already have it.  Put some on your finger or a dry brush and apply after all other tooth care at night.  My hygienist swears by this one.

[CalicoKitty]

The talk about wasps reminded me:  I read somewhere that long-distance wasp spray is useful as a safety device.  You can shoot an intruder in the face from a good distance.  The article I read suggested keeping a can next to the front door and next to the bed.  Just a thought.

Edited August 19, 2020 by CalicoKitty
wrong vowel

[galaxychaser]

Off Kendra/Joe topic

I met many older people who came from large families and who chose to be child free. 50% or less of siblings had kids of their own. Not one had more than 3. I find it interesting how family size shrink in the last 50 years.

[CalicoKitty]

2 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

Off Kendra/Joe topic

I met many older people who came from large families and who chose to be child free. 50% or less of siblings had kids of their own. Not one had more than 3. I find it interesting how family size shrink in the last 50 years.

My mother was the youngest of 10.  Her father died very unexpectedly when she was 2.  Of the ten children, one died as a child.  Of the remaining 9, 4 never married, and there are only 5 grandchildren.  Go figure!

[GeeGolly]

I think the pill coming out in the early 60s, women's lib in the late 60s and the continuous rise of the cost of living, all contribute to smaller family sizes.

[Mindthinkr]

5 hours ago, Oldernowiser said:

We had a cat who used to bring garden snakes inside...still alive. Ironically, I couldn’t handle that at all so Mr. Wiser did, but last summer when a larger one of these somehow got through the garage doors and traveled thirty feet into my husband’s office, he was useless,so I used a dustpan and a box and dumped it outside, no problem.

It’s funny the things that freak us out and the things that don’t...

 

My ying to that yang is that I’ve developed a friendship with a Hummingbird. Her name is Minnie. If I make a kissing noise,she comes. I’m so elated for that because the rest of my life has gone down the drain in the last 2 days 😢

[BitterApple]

Just now, Mindthinkr said:

My ying to that yang is that I’ve developed a friendship with a Hummingbird. Her name is Minnie. If I make a kissing noise,she comes. I’m so elated for that because the rest of my life has gone down the drain in the last 2 days 😢

We have a lot of hummingbirds in our yard, and I love the way they hover over my head. They're such great little mood lifters. 

[Nysha]

My grandma had 7 kids, her kids all had between 4-7, most of the grandkids had between 0-3, except for me. I adopted 2 sibling groups for a total of 5 kids but after watching my daughters give birth I'm pretty sure I would have been one and done if I had gone that route. Of my kids, 2 don't have any, one has 1, one has 2, and one had 7 in 12 years. 

The majority of the rest of the great-grandchildren have between 0-3, with just 3 or 4 having 4 kids. None of them have more than 4.

 

[CalicoKitty]

1 minute ago, BitterApple said:

We have a lot of hummingbirds in our yard, and I love the way they hover over my head. They're such great little mood lifters. 

Unless you forget to fill the garden fountain where they like to take a bath.  Then you get dive-bombed on your head until you get the hose and fill it!   I always tried to keep the fountain full and clean for them.  They have quite a temper!

[Jynnan tonnix]

Miserable again. I'm so sorry to keep dumping feelings here, especially since so many people in this forum have problems way worse than mine, but I just don't have anyone else to talk to...

Mr Jyn says that I "shut down his life" when I told him I thought he should move back home from his job in Virginia, going on a couple of years ago. I had no idea he was going to react the way he has to being retired again...When he took the job, it was with the understanding that it was going to be for two or three years, mostly because it was good money which would enable us to really zonk away some decent cash towards doing some much-needed updates to our house, and pad the nest egg for some vacations and whatnot...He seemed to really not be enjoying having to be away from home for all that time, but he had promised them at least two years, and, frankly, what with having to maintain basically two households, it was eating up at least half of the extra salary. Then after my dad passed away, and my mom needed more care, plus our granddaughter coming along, I guess I pressured him to come back home before he was strictly ready for it. The first year wasn't too bad, but most of this year, he has been doing basically nothing...Well, I guess to a point none of us are with the quarantine and all...But we have a huge vegetable garden which has seen very little care, despite our putting a bunch of money into it in the spring between one thing and another. I have not been able to help too much because of the hernias I mentioned a little while back, which it doesn't look like I'll be getting fixed until sometime in September. He just has no ambition to do anything else with it, because he says he didn't retire to be a full-time gardener (though he had been adamant that we get property with at least two acres so that we could be pretty much independent, at least when it came to produce, including freezing stuff for over the winter - and that does take serious time and effort any way you slice it)

In the meantime, my mom has been spending at least every weekend with us, and sometimes a few weeks at a clip, depending on how things are going for her, and she alternates between being worried that Mr Jyn and I are depressed (which, yes he definitely is, and he's dragging me down there as well), and nagging us about all the things we need to get accomplished. And neither of us reacts well to being constantly reminded of what all we haven't gotten around to - or even, first thing in the morning, what she has noticed that she thinks needs attention. I try to tell her all the time that we don't need the reminders - that we are aware of the things that need attention, and her answer is, "and yet you don't do them". Well, yeah. And I hate that we're in that rut right now, but her nagging about it doesn't do anything toward making us more ambitious. 

I told her that, frankly, the more she nagged, the less likely it was that things were going to start getting done faster, so her answer was, "Oh, so I guess you are just like Trump. Acting like a couple of 5-year olds". At which point she basically said she was going to arrange for full time care so she wouldn't have to bother us anymore, and that she would be spending our inheritance, but "if you don't care, I don't care."

So despite the fact that she still calls every morning so we know she is OK, she has basically stopped talking to me because I don't want her constant unsolicited advice. 

And I'm not going to confide any of my current issues to her in any case, because it would only lead to another cycle of her worry and criticism...

So I have no one to talk to. 

I told Mr Jyn that he should maybe think about seeing a therapist or something, but he says that there's nothing wrong besides his life being basically over, and that I just need to relax. So I got to the point of actually saying that maybe we needed to talk about splitting up, because I don't even know how to be happy anymore with him in the completely apathetic state he's in, with no interest in anything. So he went to hide in the other bedroom as well. I have no idea where things are going to go. I don't want a divorce after 35 years... I'd have no idea how to fend for myself at this point.  But I want to be happy again as well, and it's not as though life with him has ever been exactly easy to start with. Not that I'm any prize either...I know I'd never find anyone else at this point, and I don't think I know how to be independent.

[galaxychaser]

@Jynnan tonnix you should go to therapy by yourself. It helps to have a third impartial party listening/helping. You don’t deserve to be mistreated. I’m sorry.
 

Being depressed now is normal. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that most of the people are having mental issues due to COVID.

[doodlebug]

8 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Miserable again. I'm so sorry to keep dumping feelings here, especially since so many people in this forum have problems way worse than mine, but I just don't have anyone else to talk to...

Mr Jyn says that I "shut down his life" when I told him I thought he should move back home from his job in Virginia, going on a couple of years ago. I had no idea he was going to react the way he has to being retired again...When he took the job, it was with the understanding that it was going to be for two or three years, mostly because it was good money which would enable us to really zonk away some decent cash towards doing some much-needed updates to our house, and pad the nest egg for some vacations and whatnot...He seemed to really not be enjoying having to be away from home for all that time, but he had promised them at least two years, and, frankly, what with having to maintain basically two households, it was eating up at least half of the extra salary. Then after my dad passed away, and my mom needed more care, plus our granddaughter coming along, I guess I pressured him to come back home before he was strictly ready for it. The first year wasn't too bad, but most of this year, he has been doing basically nothing...Well, I guess to a point none of us are with the quarantine and all...But we have a huge vegetable garden which has seen very little care, despite our putting a bunch of money into it in the spring between one thing and another. I have not been able to help too much because of the hernias I mentioned a little while back, which it doesn't look like I'll be getting fixed until sometime in September. He just has no ambition to do anything else with it, because he says he didn't retire to be a full-time gardener (though he had been adamant that we get property with at least two acres so that we could be pretty much independent, at least when it came to produce, including freezing stuff for over the winter - and that does take serious time and effort any way you slice it)

In the meantime, my mom has been spending at least every weekend with us, and sometimes a few weeks at a clip, depending on how things are going for her, and she alternates between being worried that Mr Jyn and I are depressed (which, yes he definitely is, and he's dragging me down there as well), and nagging us about all the things we need to get accomplished. And neither of us reacts well to being constantly reminded of what all we haven't gotten around to - or even, first thing in the morning, what she has noticed that she thinks needs attention. I try to tell her all the time that we don't need the reminders - that we are aware of the things that need attention, and her answer is, "and yet you don't do them". Well, yeah. And I hate that we're in that rut right now, but her nagging about it doesn't do anything toward making us more ambitious. 

I told her that, frankly, the more she nagged, the less likely it was that things were going to start getting done faster, so her answer was, "Oh, so I guess you are just like Trump. Acting like a couple of 5-year olds". At which point she basically said she was going to arrange for full time care so she wouldn't have to bother us anymore, and that she would be spending our inheritance, but "if you don't care, I don't care."

So despite the fact that she still calls every morning so we know she is OK, she has basically stopped talking to me because I don't want her constant unsolicited advice. 

And I'm not going to confide any of my current issues to her in any case, because it would only lead to another cycle of her worry and criticism...

So I have no one to talk to. 

I told Mr Jyn that he should maybe think about seeing a therapist or something, but he says that there's nothing wrong besides his life being basically over, and that I just need to relax. So I got to the point of actually saying that maybe we needed to talk about splitting up, because I don't even know how to be happy anymore with him in the completely apathetic state he's in, with no interest in anything. So he went to hide in the other bedroom as well. I have no idea where things are going to go. I don't want a divorce after 35 years... I'd have no idea how to fend for myself at this point.  But I want to be happy again as well, and it's not as though life with him has ever been exactly easy to start with. Not that I'm any prize either...I know I'd never find anyone else at this point, and I don't think I know how to be independent.

Even if he won't go for counseling, maybe you should.  You're right, you've got a lot on your plate right now and you've got a couple of albatrosses weighing you down-your husband and your mother.  It doesn't sound like either one of them are receptive to changing their behavior, so your best hope is to change your response to their behavior before they drag you down with them.

[Ijustwantsomechips]

@Jynnan tonnix I’m so sorry you’re going through this with your mom and husband. Maybe try explaining to your mom that the constant nagging was negatively affecting your relationship and marriage, and that’s not how you want to spend time together.

I’ve never been married, so I’m no help there, but everyone deserves respect, happiness and peace of mind.  Perhaps a week or two apart will put things in perspective for both of you.

Edited August 20, 2020 by Ijustwantsomechips

[Zella]

@Jynnan tonnix I think you might be more independent than you think.

One of the recurring things I've noticed about your husband is he will make decisions on his own as a grown-ass man but then blame you when he doesn't like the results. That's not fair to you, and his attitude seems to be that he's never wrong and doesn't need to change. I'm glad you directly asked him about separating because it sounds like it might be the only way to get through to him. Maybe that will prompt him to do some soul-searching, but if not, you might want to consult with an attorney to discuss your options. You deserve to be happy! 

[doodlebug]

21 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

@Jynnan tonnix you should go to therapy by yourself. It helps to have a third impartial party listening/helping. You don’t deserve to be mistreated. I’m sorry.
 

Being depressed now is normal. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that most of the people are having mental issues due to COVID.

It is rampant.  I am seeing so many women who are completely overwhelmed with depression and anxiety to the point where they are getting physical symptoms or symptoms they already had are getting worse.  We're living in very uncertain times and we don't know what is going to happen and I think many of us don't feel like anyone has the answer at this point and we don't see it ending anytime soon.

I've been in practice for over 34 years and have never encountered so many people so emotionally on edge.  I cannot remember the last time I worked a day where no one cried in my exam room (and not because of the exam, either) as they told me what was happening in their lives.  Most days, it's 2 or 3 women.  I feel like I should invest in Kleenex, we're going through it by the case.

I've had teens with tremendous anxiety over going back to school; afraid to decide between on-line and in-person, worried about how to take the SAT, choose a college, let alone submit applications in the midst of the pandemic.

I've seen women on the verge of making major life decisions: take a job in another city, purchase a bigger or smaller home, or even file for divorce whose plans got put on hold and now they're living in limbo.  One woman and her husband had agreed to divorce and, just as she was going to file; he lost his job and insurance.  Now, he can't afford to move out and, although the marriage is over, he is the father of her kids and they are trying to be amicable and she doesn't feel like she can file as long as he needs a place to live and health insurance, which, thankfully, her job provides.  Another woman's husband was seriously injured in a car crash in June and has not had the full use of his arms since then, he is facing multiple surgeries including skin grafts to repair the damage.  Meanwhile, he can't button his pants.  So many people facing multiple personal difficulties on top of the dam*ed pandemic.

ETA: The above examples were all from TODAY.  Lord only knows what tomorrow will bring.

Edited August 20, 2020 by doodlebug

[crazycatlady58]

3 hours ago, CalicoKitty said:

I have the Sonicare air flosser which uses air and mouthwash (or water, if you prefer).  I love it.

I was checking that out today on Amazon but it had a lot of bad reviews. Most said it stopped working after a few months.

[CalicoKitty]

1 minute ago, crazycatlady58 said:

I was checking that out today on Amazon but it had a lot of bad reviews. Most said it stopped working after a few months.

I've had mine for several years with no problem.  I did buy the automatic filler to go with it, and that is really nice.  Just push it to fill.

[Scarlett45]

2 hours ago, galaxychaser said:

Off Kendra/Joe topic

I met many older people who came from large families and who chose to be child free. 50% or less of siblings had kids of their own. Not one had more than 3. I find it interesting how family size shrink in the last 50 years.

Well there have always been childfree people in the world- we didn’t always call it that, but there are people for one reason or another didn’t have children but lived a full human life span. Big families often require resources to stretch- physical, emotional and financial. And in an era where most of the USA doesn’t live in an extended family structure (and proclaims the nuclear family structure is ideal), two healthy, typical bio parents just can’t do it ALL, ALL THE TIME with that many kids. 
 

In a family where 8 children lived to adulthood it was common for 1 or 2 to neither marry or have kids. And culturally it was understood that they would be the ones to care for the elderly parents (and in turn would have access to the family residence etc). 
 

Family size has shrunk in the last 100 years because of 1. Reliable medical contraceptives, 2. Lower infant mortality (a woman may have had 12-15 pregnancies go to term but that doesn’t mean she would have that many children live to be adults), 3. Educational and social opportunities for women, 4. The increased cost of raising children- its not just feeding them and putting shoes on them in the 21st century. 

[Absolom]

1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

We have a lot of hummingbirds in our yard, and I love the way they hover over my head. They're such great little mood lifters. 

We have one who thinks he's supposed to sit on the dog's head if the dog goes out in the yard.

 

Edited August 20, 2020 by Absolom

[crazycatlady58]

6 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

I've had mine for several years with no problem.  I did buy the automatic filler to go with it, and that is really nice.  Just push it to fill.

It's so odd that this came up today. I am thinking of getting one one did not know which one to choose. Your response is very helpful.

[crazycatlady58]

@Jynnan tonnix  sending you hugs and good thoughts.

@doodlebug take care of yourself. It's hard to hear people's problems and not be able to do something. I hope you don't get overwhelmed.

[doodlebug]

8 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

@Jynnan tonnix  sending you hugs and good thoughts.

@doodlebug take care of yourself. It's hard to hear people's problems and not be able to do something. I hope you don't get overwhelmed.

Thanks, I'm ok, I've got great people at work and we support each other and I've got friends and family, too.   And, when necessary, I have a kick-ass therapist I can see for a tune-up.

[CalicoKitty]

5 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

It's so odd that this came up today. I am thinking of getting one one did not know which one to choose. Your response is very helpful.

I'm on my second one.  My first one lasted a little over two years.  This one has lasted over 2 years so far.  And I really like the auto filler.  I tried a Waterpik and thought I was going to drown!  And it sprayed water all over the bathroom.  I guess I'm not coordinated enough to use it.  The airflosser  is much neater to use, and I stay dry!  The air/water spray is pretty strong, and you can adjust the intensity.  I have so many crowns that I am afraid I will pull one out with regular dental floss.  My checkups have always been great since I have used the airflosser.  I also use the Soniclean toothbrush. Good luck!

[galaxychaser]

I wish I was a psychiatrist I’d love to hear people’s stories. Must be an interesting job! 

[Jynnan tonnix]

7 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

@Jynnan tonnix  sending you hugs and good thoughts.

@doodlebug take care of yourself. It's hard to hear people's problems and not be able to do something. I hope you don't get overwhelmed.

Thanks...to you and to everyone who has responded. I so appreciate feeling that I can unload here a bit, but hate feeling as though I might be coming across as a whiner or looking for attention. I really to fear being thought of that way. 

And, yeah, @doodlebug, I can't even imagine being in a field like yours and having people breaking down on you every day. I also hope that it's not too overwhelming for you. What you say is so true about everyone being on edge these days. And because I do recognize that, I've been trying to look past some of the grief I've been getting, and trying not to take things too personally or be too reactive. I know that we are in a much better situation than most with everything that's been going on, and mostly being introverts in our family, we don't even find it quite as difficult as some to be in this quarantine situation even outside of not having some of the financial worries, etc, that so many people are having. That's one of the reasons I am trying to suck it all up and count my blessings. But it's not been easy. As I said, just not really having anyone that I can confide in has been one of my biggest stresses, so I do appreciate this group, and hope I don't get wearisome.

I suppose I probably should think about therapy for myself...I don't even know how to go about it. I suppose that given that everything has to go through Tricare, I have to start from square one with my primary physician and get a referral, which, I wish there was a simpler way. And I have a colonoscopy and hernia surgery coming up sometime in the next few weeks anyway, so I'm probably best off waiting until all that is over with. 

Hopefully things won't look so bleak in the morning.  Thanks again, everyone, for putting up with me.

 

 

[Girl in a Cardigan]

11 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

I suppose I probably should think about therapy for myself...I don't even know how to go about it. I suppose that given that everything has to go through Tricare, I have to start from square one with my primary physician and get a referral, which, I wish there was a simpler way.

I don't want to advise you about specific insurance things, but for mental health care, it's usually a separate process. In your insurance documents, there's usually a mental health directory or 800 number that you can call to get a list of who's covered through your insurance. For therapy, it's different than being referred to most other specialities and you might not have to go through your PCP. Finding a good fit with a therapist can be a process, but I would urge you to at least start it with finding out which providers you can use and for how many sessions.

[GeeGolly]

Anxiety, depression and relationship issues certainly have increased since March, so you and your family are definitely not alone @Jynnan tonnix. I'm so sorry you're going through such a tough time. You have a lot of family looking to you for support. Your husband (minus blaming you) is going through a typical response to retirement, exacerbated by the pandemic - its not your fault. Most couples are not equipped to be together 24/7 and any issues prior to the pandemic are likely amplified. I would definitely look into getting a therapist.