Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[magpye29]

Could you imagine if all the male Duggars where named Jim Bob? Or all the females where called Michelle? Hi I'm Jim Bob the 7th.

 

It worked for George Foreman...

[BrianJ62]

It worked for George Foreman...

Hi I'm Jim Bob Duggar would you like to try my new Jim Bob Duggar grill?

[NikSac]

That's so weird - our family too. Leftovers were split among 6 different households and all are reporting the green vegetables going first - !!!!  In our case, creamed spinach and roasted Brussels sprouts. I had creamed spinach for breakfast yesterday morning...

 

ha, here too!  I didn't make nearly enough food for the amount of leftovers people wanted.  We had a great dinner, but dang, once everyone split up the leftovers there wasn't a whole lot - well - left!  The green beans were gone first, as far as I could tell.

[magpye29]

Okay, so here's my Thanksgiving story.  On Wednesday, I called my husband at work to ask if he needed me to pick anything up from the grocery store, because he had committed to making a couple of pies and dinner rolls to take to his family's dinner.  He tells me what he needs, along with a mini-rant about how he doesn't want to have to go shopping and end up beginning his cooking at 8:30 at night.  So I get all his ingredients, plus the stuff I needed for mine.  We agree that he will do his baking on Wednesday, and I will cook my four dishes on Thursday.

 

He comes home from work with a turkey.  I'm all excited about it because I like dark meat and skin, and those are hard to come by because most of my family also like those, and in his family, his mother usually makes turkey breast, all white meat.  So I'm thinking we'll put the turkey away and have it later.

 

Thursday morning I get up, and what has he done?  Yes, he put the turkey in the oven.  I'm completely mystified.  He says he just thought he should cook it.  I ask him where I'm supposed to do my cooking, and he asks me if I can do it in the toaster oven.  Grrr.  Now I'm pissed, and I tell him he doesn't pay attention and he doesn't listen to me.  We fight for a while, then we get over it.  He takes the turkey out, and we put it aside to finish cooking later.

 

So I make a batch of fruit and nut stuffing and a tray of baked brussels sprouts with mandarin oranges, bacon, and balsamic vinaigrette. I was going to use balsamic vinegar with brown sugar, but we didn't have the vinegar.  Oh well, it still came out delicious.  I take my dishes across the street to my mother's house, where we will be enjoying our first Thanksgiving dinner. Then I come back and start on the sweet potato casserole and glazed butternut squash that I will be taking to our second Thanksgiving dinner with his family.  

 

I get the squash done, and I've got the sweet potatoes ready to put into the oven as soon as I finish making the streusel topping.  It's now 12:45 and we're supposed to go across the street at 1:00.  So my husband tells me to jump in the shower and he'll finish my sweet potatoes.  Great!

 

When I get out of the shower, I go into the kitchen to check on my food.  My sweet potatoes are still on the counter, and my tray of glazed butternut squash is missing.  You guessed it.  He put the topping on the butternut squash and put it in the oven.  I could have cried.  I yanked the squash out and set it aside.  He was all apologetic, but all I could think was that he'd just proved my point that he doesn't listen or pay attention when I talk to him.

 

We go to my parents' house and have a surprisingly nice dinner.  I say surprisingly because there's almost always huge drama and my mother does a fine job of getting angry and injured over who knows what.  I should add that a couple of weeks ago, I had suggested that we do a kind of potluck where we would coordinate who does what, and that way my mother wouldn't have to do too much of the prep.  Well, she pouted and sulked about that, but that's pretty much what we ended up doing.  

 

Anyway, after we ate, I came home to take my insulin and finish my dishes to take to dinner #2.  So I get out a bowl, and I'm picking the streusel off the squash and putting it on the sweet potatoes, and dropping the streusel-free squash into the bowl.  My husband comes in and says he'll help me, so he starts picking the streusel off the squash on the baking sheet and dropping it onto the squash in the bowl.  At that point, all I could do was laugh.

 

We got it all sorted out and went on to dinner #2, which was really good.  I way overate and spent the next two days in bed with an upset stomach, but I'm fine now.  With any luck, I'll remember this and not overeat on Christmas, but the odds of that are not very good.

 

With that, I'll just add my condolences to Brian and offer everyone best wishes as we roll into the December holidays.  Merry Chrismakwanzukkah!

[bigskygirl]

Lets take any Duggar discussion to the respective Duggar thread. Please remember this is the The Small Talk thread aka for non-Duggar discussion. Your post may be moved to the appropriate thread. Thank you.

[Wellfleet]

Today was take down the fall decorations and our anniversary balloons and cards. (We don't buy each other presents, just lovely or fun cards, and put out a display of sentimental stuffed animals, hanging balloons and maybe some candy.) Taking a break before the December decorations go up.

Enjoying leftover chopped liver...please don't judge. :) ...turkey and desserts. But already missing my son and his family who left to drive six hours home.

Can't wait to hear about the new grandbaby, HAPPYFATCHICK. I'm jealous. Our youngest grandchild is 9, and I think our kids are all done making blessings.

Wishing everyone a relaxing rest of the weekend.

 

LOVE chopped liver - no judgment here! 

[leighroda]

My middle name is Ann, and so was my moms...but I'm the middle child so it's a little odd, my mom was the oldest and I have an older sister so most would think she would have the middle name Ann.

My mom actually went by "Carol Ann" and my intended name was "Leigh Ann" but somewhere around 3rd grade we moved and nobody told my teacher I went by Leigh Ann, so she just called me "Leigh" I was an extremely shy child and would never ever dream of correcting and adult...ever, so now I go by Leigh.

[allonsyalice]

My mom goes by her middle name--Joanne--even though she pretends she doesn't. I've always wanted to go by my middle name, because, imo it's way nice than my first.

[Jynnan tonnix]

My middle name is Maria, but technically it's pronounced the Polish way (MAR-ya, with a hard not-quite-rolled but sort of flipped "r"). The only way I like my first name at all is in combination with my middle name, but no one has ever actually called me that (not that I blame them, as it adds up to 5 syllables). Even I pronounce Maria the English/American way if I have to give it for any reason. Otherwise I expect they'd be confused as to how it was spelled.

 

By the way is there a rule here about not giving our names? I see a lot of people going to great lengths not to mention them, which is certainly understandable for privacy issues, but then again I have seen some people give their names via "hints" without actually spelling them out, and other people who just go right ahead. So not sure what protocol is. I didn't see any mention of it in the rulebook.

Edited November 29, 2015 by Jynnan tonnix

[Sew Sumi]

I think name reveal is a personal choice. This place is as open or anonymous as one chooses. People here know my name if we've PMed, but no one has outed me, demonstrating the unwritten respect for privacy common with message boards. Similarly, if you have given me your name, it stays confidential.

Edited November 29, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[ChocolateAddict]

I personally don't give out my name or my age (I'm happy to say that I'm a young uni student and people can work it out from there).  I grew up with DON'T POST IT UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR GRANDMOTHER TO READ/SEE IT and THERE ARE CREEPS OUT THERE WHO CAN FIND YOU.  Needless to say, the lesson worked well and I'm careful about what I put on here and my FB account.  The mods do an amazing job around here but there are plenty of people who just read without posting- the Benessa voting poll had 6,126 views! So while I love coming to the Prayer Closet and I trust 99% of the people on here, I'm cautious.  

[magpye29]

The truth is, in my case, anyway, that if you look up magpye29, it will tell you more than you'd ever want to know.  I didn't realize that when I started posting, but I'm not that concerned about privacy, and anyone who wants to steal my identity for financial reasons could only help me, so...I will say it's weird that I have real-life friends who sometimes call me mag because I've been magpye29 for almost 20 years.

[zoomama]

hi everyone, i have been gone over a week. flew with my 9 y/o grandson to see my twin grandsons for their birthday and thanksgiving. it was a long week of boys playing, boys fighting, and seeing beautiful scenery. it was also cold, humid beyond belief and then raining the likes of which i have never had to drive through. i am thankful to be safely home with this current political world sitaution - flying is scary when you are responsible for a little guy. 

 

i have been totally out of touch while gone, so if i missed any major 'small talk' news would someone pm me and fill me in. i hope all had a wonderful family time this week. 

That's so weird - our family too. Leftovers were split among 6 different households and all are reporting the green vegetables going first - !!!!  In our case, creamed spinach and roasted Brussels sprouts. I had creamed spinach for breakfast yesterday morning...

have you ever taken that creamed spinich and mixed it into scrambled eggs? mmmmm. also the spinich artichoke dip some restaurants serve as an appetizer goes super well with eggs.

[leighroda]

I personally don't really care, my first name is in my screen name, my middle name is common, and my screen name has a portion of my last name, but the rest is a hard to pronounce combination of letters that if you guessed then you deserve access to my financial info (not that it would do you any good really). Between Facebook and everything I don't find too much harm in my name being public, but most other stuff I try to only give vague information.

[Wellfleet]

Mmmm...I have a recipe for Brussels sprouts that I only make every couple of years for the holidays because the fat content is terrifying. It's called "screaming heads" (no idea...) and includes prosciutto, heavy cream, and gruyere cheese. Heck, I adore B. sprouts just steamed--all that extra stuff is gilding the lily, but SO YUMMY.

 

Wow, that sounds dee-lish. For everyday, I just steam B sprouts at home, maybe a little lemon juice and a pat of butter but that's about it. But when there's an event with the whole family, we always do a whole big old recipe. Our favorite is to steam the teeniest little sprouts you can find, then mix in lots of oogey caramelized onions and very crisp peppered bacon and drizzle however much Balsamic vinegar you like over the dish. When ready to eat, pop into oven for about 15 minutes, and serve piping hot.

[theredhead77]

I just have to rant for a second. I'm in my late 30s and am going on vacation to visit an out of town in a few weeks. I was talking with my mom and she asked for my flight schedule (no problem) and then asked for my friends full name, address and phone number. I refused (because I'm in my 30s, this isn't a blind date, it's visiting a long time friend and also I'm not 10) and then she said "well what if you go missing?!". I had to remind her that I have my cell phone and that when she went on a multi-Provence 2 week long road trip last summer with a friend of hers we had no idea where she was until she called from a motel that they stopped at. Last week she was commenting on how she doesn't know any of my friends. OK mom, I haven't lived at home in 13 years, you're not scheduling playdates. Mom lacks some serious boundaries and sometimes I just have to rant about it.

[zoomama]

I just have to rant for a second. I'm in my late 30s and am going on vacation to visit an out of town in a few weeks. I was talking with my mom and she asked for my flight schedule (no problem) and then asked for my friends full name, address and phone number. I refused (because I'm in my 30s, this isn't a blind date, it's visiting a long time friend and also I'm not 10) and then she said "well what if you go missing?!". I had to remind her that I have my cell phone and that when she went on a multi-Provence 2 week long road trip last summer with a friend of hers we had no idea where she was until she called from a motel that they stopped at. Last week she was commenting on how she doesn't know any of my friends. OK mom, I haven't lived at home in 13 years, you're not scheduling playdates. Mom lacks some serious boundaries and sometimes I just have to rant about it.

when you are a mom, you will get it.  BUT since you are grown, she needs to give you space. it was a lesson that took me a while to learn with my own kids.just check in once in a while and enjoy yourself.

[theredhead77]

when you are a mom, you will get it.  BUT since you are grown, she needs to give you space. it was a lesson that took me a while to learn with my own kids.just check in once in a while and enjoy yourself.

Oh I know. It's just one of many boundary issues that she has. I plan to confirm my arrival and check in via email, text or call once in awhile. My dads [diagnosed, un-medicated] anxiety problems (prompting my mom's prying) are not my issue anymore. I did call her back and explain when she says things like that it makes me feel like she doesn't trust my judgement and reminded her this is a long time friend, not some random person from the scary interwebs (which would be profoundly stupid to do without giving some more info).

[Allison Lynn]

Yesterday, my SO and I went to the grocery store.  We walked past a Christmas display and I saw a little standalone "JOY" sign.  Without thinking, I said, "Oh, Jesus first, others second, yourself last."  I'm not a Christian, so the SO knew where this must have come from: he immediately suggested that I detox from the Duggars.

Just thought I'd share with people who would understand.

[Happyfatchick]

I agree, it's kind of a mom thing Red. But when you live within 3 miles of EVERYSTINKINBODY in your family tree, but your daughter takes her wholefamdamnily to Nicaragua and you have NOOO control, it will put a spur in the old anxiety bucket. I have no idea where they live - the addresses in Nica are (seriously!) "1/2 block from the doctor's old office and 3/4 block uphill from the cloth store". No such thing as a street number, or even a street name that I know of because no mail delivery, no 911. As far as I can tell, screaming at the top of ones lungs is 911. And they live in town. I know it's my mom meter, but this makes me nuts. Still, I agree with Zoo, just go and enjoy yourself, check in as you feel compelled. [in fact, as someone who went straight from raising kids to raising parents and grandchildren - my DIL said to me with a straight face tonight "we're going to Italy for 9 days In March. You need to do carpool for me that week" - I'm almost in the RUN FOR IT! camp, but I do understand the need to communicate.]

What is it with you guys and Brussels sprouts? And Lovetodance: you are "enjoying" chopped liver but saying not to judge? Sorry, sweetie. Love you, but I can't even help myself. I made a face when I read that one. Yep, totally judged.

On a positive note: the leftovers are gone!!!!! Until today, there was a HUGE turkey breast marinated, shot up with Cajun seasonings (my cousin said "all gassed up and nowhere to go") living in my refrigerator. (We had so much, we decided at the last minute not to cook it). Cousin/sitter/rival alpha had a big dinner with some family guests tonight and I cooked that puppy and sent it over. Sent her a big pan of broccoli too. Refrigerator is back to normal and the hubs ate a plain old Oscar Mayer sandwich for dinner.

The countdown for baby Not-Marie is on! She's due Tuesday. I'm so excited - even tho this means I have to stay dressed, processed and made-up for however many days it takes for her to get here. Can't be taking new baby pics looking like I wasn't ready!

Magpye, this is for you: Google (or YouTube, even better) Jeannie Robertson/pound cake. It will make you smile and feel like someone out there has walked your path before. My husband has very selective hearing as well. I understand your pain.

[magpye29]

Thanks for the laugh, HFC--that was my husband to a T!

[Lemur]

Ugh.  Monday.  Monday after a four day weekend.  

 

Just .... no.

[emma675]

I love Jeanne Robertson! The pound cake bit is hilarious but there's another one where the husband attempts to use a carpet cleaner and floods the whole house that's hysterical.

 

It finally stopped raining here this morning, on Monday, of course. We got 6+ inches of rain since Thursday night and my backyard is underwater again. The dog is pissed because I won't let her outside as much, but I'm sick and tired of mopping up muddy footprints and having to de-mud her every 5 minutes just because she wants to sniff around outside for no good reason. 

[Happyfatchick]

I love Jeanne too! The bat in the bedroom is pretty funny, and there's one where she's trying to fix her husband's zipper in the lady's, and gets caught. THAT is hilarious. Lookey, are you in my neighborhood yet? I'm shuffling around all my regular junk for the Christmas junk. I really am having issues with short term memory and I'm TERRIFED. It's related: I'm actually thinking of writing out a diagram of where I like things so the hubs and kids can do it and make me happy 10 years from now. I know it's there because I'm WEARING it. It's so so scary. I cry about this a lot. And the sad thing is, I don't believe it's early-onset Alzheimer's. I really think (looking back) my mom was doing this EXACT same thing (and not talking about it) at my age. I remember some REALLY funny things she did that we laughed and laughed about (together!!!) and never worried about because she was still a functioning intelligent adult who did funny things sometimes. However, we spend ENOUGH time in this board with my family issues... I don't really want to focus on me some more. I'm just scared, that's what I'm saying. I've been a vital, integral, producing mover and shaker all my life. It's been my mission for 50+ years to be the nucleus of anything I ever participated in. It's MY JOB to run things. To make intelligent decisions and make them happen. And I need to say, REALLY??? Lord Jesus, how much more IS out there? Honest to God, someone said the other day that growing old is not for sissies and they soooooooo nailed it.).

A story about memory problems. One of my worst problems is that I ever "touch" something technical, my brain says it's DONE. If I get interrupted in paying taxes, for example, I will swear under oath that I PAID them -because my brain does remember the taxes). My husband (who is the WORST candidate on the planet for a wife with memory issues, God bless him), has begun to surreptitiously take care of things (put them where they belong, sends me texts for reminders, etc.). He was OOT last weekend, and sent the shop paperwork home with one of our peeps who works for him. Said to the peep (I heard later) don't GIVE that to her in the yard, or in the car, or at JC's house. Give it to her in the house and tell her to put it on the desk for later. TELL HER, otherwise, she won't remember having it at all. So he did. Handed it to me in my dining room. We were talking and I fully intended to put it in the desk "in a minute". But. I got distracted and actually left the house to run an errand. When I came back, the dogs had pulled all that day's work (customer invoices, vendor invoices, deposits) off the chair, and the entire room was bathed in officey confetti. i have a very active cocker (Ollie, name not protected) who is in charge of "getting" the items down, and a very bad boxer, Sophie) who has ZERO poker face. Long before I got into the room, Sophie was cowering down and telling me there was something I wasn't about to like. Ollie is dancing, prancing and quite proud of his business accomplishments. Sophie (while admitting she participated) was guilty as a serial murderer. This was last Monday. I only remembered to mention that to him yesterday, the day before he returns to work. He's really trying. He didn't blow a gasket. (I would have).

Oh what fun it is to ride!!

I'm making an appointment with a neurologist after the holidays, I promise. (And he'll put me on something that makes my brain click for awhile...and you guys might not like me any more...). That might be a hard side effect - for me to realize that my scattered life is what makes me pleasant. :(

Sorry for that, I'm using the total anonymity to feel sorry for myself. I'm surrounded by people who love me and won't let me fall down. I am blessed. [[Maybe if you could just remind me of that sometimes]]

ETA: Maybe chopped liver, Brussels sprouts and rutabagas keep the mind sharp and that's where I missed the boat!!! ;) tabby, thanks for the kind encouragement. That's what my regular doc says too. I feel a little like I should sell my equipment and willingly take a lesser road, but I so enjoy what I do...doesn't seem fair (yet). We'll see. If the work suffers, obviously that's what I'll do.

Edited November 30, 2015 by Happyfatchick

[Tabbygirl521]

HFC, I may have missed some of your posts and if so, I may be way off the mark here. But the behaviors you describe in this latest post sound just like my husband, sister, and me in the wake of a couple of years' worth of family crises and issues. If I laid it all out here, I would sound similar to WW so I will just say the challenges were wide, varied, and extremely difficult. One situation is ongoing still. Anyway! This level of stress and worry can really mess with memory, and ability to cope in general. We often compare notes about how we are feeling and reacting to regular life and we conclude that we are still pretty effed up but improving.

So - I am thinking you may have some similar things going on. Worry about your mom and daughter is hard. Even the impending grand baby might be an issue; good stress is still stress. And the holidays add a nice extra layer.

My meandering point is that you sound normal for your situation, though I admit I am not a doctor although I do seem to be playing one on the internetz.

[bigskygirl]

It looks like I am allergic to grass and borderline allergic to dust mites. And once again, thyroid problems can trigger allergies. Boo!!! Hiss!!! So to the follow posters who deal with thyroid issues, watch out for possible allergy problems. The CPAP mask and machine can cause some allergies issues also, but I rather take care of my sleeping problems than end up not being able to catch my breath one night or falling asleep at the wheel one day because I am too groggy or tired.

[pinkie]

Tabbygirl & HFC:  Big ((hugs)) & a "pat pat" going out to both of you!

Edited November 30, 2015 by pinkie

[Jellybeans]

Well, looks like next week we are moving to a hotel for a couple of weeks or more. Black mold was found in our crawl space due to faulty construction and my roomie has a very suppressed immune system. Glad my renter's policy covers our stay.

So much fun.

Edited November 30, 2015 by Jellybeans

[lookeyloo]

Jellybeans. When it rains it pours. I hope you can get some room service.

[Catlyn]

I'm shuffling around all my regular junk for the Christmas junk. I really am having issues with short term memory and I'm TERRIFED. It's related: I'm actually thinking of writing out a diagram of where I like things so the hubs and kids can do it and make me happy 10 years from now. I know it's there because I'm WEARING it. It's so so scary. I cry about this a lot

So glad many of you survived the holidays with only a few battle scars (or maybe I read wrong?). Luckily, my sister, her SO and  survived unscathed. Not sure how Christmas will be as we're  invited to his cousin's... 

 

But the quote above from HFC was just what my co-workers were talking about this morning. Apparently they go all out with crates (I feel like an under achiever, I only have two or three small totes.). But, they take pictures of when the decorations are placed and then when it's packed away, everything from say, the living room is in one crate with the pictures taped to the crate to show how it was placed.  It may help you.

[BOOgen3]

I have done this for years with my Christmas decorating. All my totes are labeled as to contents with detailed diagrams inside each tote for proper (in my mind) placement. I have even gone as far as creating a digital record on the computer with my preferred decorating in all its glory. I have over two hundred of the Christmas "putz" houses and have labeled each tote as to their placement. OCD is not a pretty thing but it makes for efficient holiday decorating

[leighroda]

Happy Monday all!!

http://transactional.jibjab.com/t/ecfbJmKB1dQAT1vBVNnBKHQDGhaIXRxaaaaaaBLFZVTca?p=6@xB1718&Z=QZj@gjZ9x9_ctorVng.hjr&g=j&s=&w=cyou%25yF%25xK%25xKr1r.odgefW.hjr%25xKqnZ1%25xK1fXYFeGSGrRLecJeGJfX&Hti%2579%257v8v%257vSj0%25x5x5w-%25x5w-%25yFv~%25yFw5%25x55535v&ys@oe@jhfdq@ZhVwYx@Yjafpqo@wZhdudjiy@itonanXfonjs@x

[Love2dance]

HAPPYFATCHICK and TABBYGIRL, I really, really think the memory problems may be related to stress and too much multitasking. Our brains can only process so much. I know when I am worried about one of the kids, or grandkids (which happens a lot, of course), and trying to do a zillion things at once, my brain turns to mush. Not only does the memory suffer, I do stupid things. I don't have a solution, but I bet if we could concentrate on one task at a time and control stress, memory would improve. And, insomnia does very bad things to memory, too! Sigh. (And no, HFC, chopped liver isn't the cure...but it does provide iron. LOL)

Good grief, JELLYBEANS. Enough already. So glad you are covered by insurance. Hope you can at least get some perks living at the hotel.

[Tabbygirl521]

Love2Dance, I am right there with you. Stress is amazingly hard on bodies and brains. Our family is getting past most of the challenges of the past couple of years, and the stress symptoms are gradually improving.

[GeeGolly]

Yikes Jelly - you must be Hercules by now. Hotel living sucks and I hope it is brief for you.

 

I agree with the above posters - stress, depression and anxiety can all mess with cognitive function, including memory and decision making skills. Hang in there Tabby & HFC.

 

Ugh, Christmas decorations. The only thing we were able to salvage was our stockings. I have not replaced anything, and have no plans to. Though it still might take me 2 tries to remember where I put the stockings. :)

[Satchels of gold]

Happy Monday all!!

http://transactional.jibjab.com/t/ecfbJmKB1dQAT1vBVNnBKHQDGhaIXRxaaaaaaBLFZVTca?p=6@xB1718&Z=QZj@gjZ9x9_ctorVng.hjr&g=j&s=&w=cyou%yF%xK%xKr1r.odgefW.hjr%xKqnZ1%xK1fXYFeGSGrRLecJeGJfX&Hti%79%7v8v%7vSj0%x5x5w-%x5w-%yFv~%yFw5%x55535v&ys@oe@jhfdq@ZhVwYx@Yjafpqo@wZhdudjiy@itonanXfonjs@x

Omg! This I perfection on so many levels!

[leighroda]

Omg! This I perfection on so many levels!

Clearly I had a busy day today... I also made a sisterwives one and below deck.

[Readalot]

Wednesday night a friend asked me to watch his daughter for a few hours. His distant cousin had been released from prison and they were having a welcome back party. My friend did not want to bring his daughter because the cousin is difficult to deal with, but he needed to go so he didn’t create any bad blood with this guy. I had never met my friend’s daughter before but I agreed to watch her for a few hours if she could join me while cooking – basically drop her off at my house rather than me going to his house because I had some serious baking and cooking to do.

His daughter is really sweet and helped me with the baking. She stirred custards, kneaded dough and really seemed to enjoy learning more about baking. I rarely spend time with kids but we got along really well. Her parents broke up about 6 years ago, and her father is single. Suddenly, out of the blue, his daughter asks me, “Are you and my daddy fucking?” That is an exact quote. Not are you together. Not are you dating. This adorable little girl with a mop of curly black hair and huge brown eyes casually dropped the f-bomb as if it was nothing. I was so shocked. Something about someone young enough that “daddy” seemed perfectly natural for her to say also using fucking really threw me.

At the same time, I swear like a sailor. I clean up my language around kids however. I did pull it together enough to explain we are friends only. Given her language choices, I am questioning whether I secretly have a child.

lol. when our oldest was about 2? 2.5? we left her with close friends to go on our first dinner date (I know I know, but she was our first child). We get a call in the middle of dinner, as soon as I saw it was our friends calling I immediately go into panic mode. Hubby answers it and our friend says "your daughter just dropped the F bomb". Apparently she was eating and the food fell out of her hand and she looked at her empty hand and said "what the f&@k!" in her teeny tiny toddler voice. My friends said they laughed for quite awhile before they called us. She had never cursed in front of us. But I have to say being that my husband was a sailor and cussed like one too (not around her) I wasn't surprised. And they were our Navy friends so they weren't offended, just amused. Needless to say she went through a small phase of saying this, luckily never in public!

Brian, I hope your brother in law will have a quick and complete recovery.

It sounds like everyone for the most part went through the holidays unscathed. Yea! Our holiday did not go as planned but we still had fun with family and friends. Our youngest can play most games now so we enjoyed her participating, it was great she didn't feel left out. My client approved my big project I was working on and I got some shopping in. And I wasn't in pain, and my memory issues did not cause any major issues (sorry to hear about the paperwork HFC!) so overall is was a great week for me (wow that feels good to type!)

HFC I hope your new grand baby and daughter in law have an easy labor and recovery, and the result is a healthy baby and mama!

[Love2dance]

Clearly I had a busy day today... I also made a sisterwives one and below deck.

LOL, LEIGHRODA, those are two of my other guilty pleasures, too. Ashamed to admit.

[Ilovemylabs]

when you are a mom, you will get it.  BUT since you are grown, she needs to give you space. it was a lesson that took me a while to learn with my own kids.just check in once in a while and enjoy yourself.

As I get older I like my kids to know where I am, if I am traveling.  I make a point of calling or emailing every evening as hubby and I drive from New York to Arizona for part of the winter. 

[theredhead77]

As I get older I like my kids to know where I am, if I am traveling.  I make a point of calling or emailing every evening as hubby and I drive from New York to Arizona for part of the winter. 

My parents never vacation, in the way people vacation now. Vacation for my mom was going to her childhood town, to stay in her childhood home to visit with her childhood friends and family for a couple weeks. Cell phone was rarely on and there was a landline in the house. She sold the house and this summer flew back to her hometown to meet up with a friend and they took a road trip across a few Provinces. In theory the cell phone was on but I could never reach her. But there was no concrete number and she only called my dad after they found a hotel to stay at.

 

I have no issue giving them my flight info and making contact when I land and maybe once or twice (though I'm only gone for 5 days). It was implying that my friend was going to disappear me, or that I was gallivanting off to some strangers house (just a few days after proclaiming how she doesn't know any of my frends that perturbed me.

 

I may live 10-15 minutes away but FFS I'm a grown woman, you don't get to know everyone in my life or every detail of it. And frankly she burned that bridge when I was young by blabbing about me and my issues to her friends despite my asking her to not talk about me.

 

Anyway, I think I posted that I since talked with her and cleared it up. I also found a Hanukkah gift that will be delivered during Hanukkah. That should make her happy. 

[Ilovemylabs]

I agree, it's kind of a mom thing Red. But when you live within 3 miles of EVERYSTINKINBODY in your family tree, but your daughter takes her wholefamdamnily to Nicaragua and you have NOOO control, it will put a spur in the old anxiety bucket. I have no idea where they live - the addresses in Nica are (seriously!) "1/2 block from the doctor's old office and 3/4 block uphill from the cloth store". No such thing as a street number, or even a street name that I know of because no mail delivery, no 911. As far as I can tell, screaming at the top of ones lungs is 911. And they live in town. I know it's my mom meter, but this makes me nuts. Still, I agree with Zoo, just go and enjoy yourself, check in as you feel compelled. [in fact, as someone who went straight from raising kids to raising parents and grandchildren - my DIL said to me with a straight face tonight "we're going to Italy for 9 days In March. You need to do carpool for me that week" - I'm almost in the RUN FOR IT! camp, but I do understand the need to communicate.]

What is it with you guys and Brussels sprouts? And Lovetodance: you are "enjoying" chopped liver but saying not to judge? Sorry, sweetie. Love you, but I can't even help myself. I made a face when I read that one. Yep, totally judged.

On a positive note: the leftovers are gone!!!!! Until today, there was a HUGE turkey breast marinated, shot up with Cajun seasonings (my cousin said "all gassed up and nowhere to go") living in my refrigerator. (We had so much, we decided at the last minute not to cook it). Cousin/sitter/rival alpha had a big dinner with some family guests tonight and I cooked that puppy and sent it over. Sent her a big pan of broccoli too. Refrigerator is back to normal and the hubs ate a plain old Oscar Mayer sandwich for dinner.

The countdown for baby Not-Marie is on! She's due Tuesday. I'm so excited - even tho this means I have to stay dressed, processed and made-up for however many days it takes for her to get here. Can't be taking new baby pics looking like I wasn't ready!

Magpye, this is for you: Google (or YouTube, even better) Jeannie Robertson/pound cake. It will make you smile and feel like someone out there has walked your path before. My husband has very selective hearing as well. I understand your pain.

I love Jeanne Robertson and her husband 'left brain'.  Did you ever hear her story about nude bungee jumping?  A riot, I assure you.  Here's some un-asked for advice.  When someone tells you they are going away for a vacation and says, "you'll have to carpool for me that week", just SAY NO!  Say it politely, but just say no. Make up an excuse if necessary.  Sometimes in our rush to be helpful and loved we do not think of ourselves and become a door mat.  It is in our own power to decide what we will do and not do for loved ones.  I mind my grandkids when my daughter flies to Atlanta for business.  Now she has a new baby plus the 6 and 8 year olds.  I can handle the kids but their dog is a pain in the butt.  He is not well behaved and very vocal.  I am getting too old to put up with that nonsense. Next time I am telling her she has to kennel him for the trip or make other plans.  JMO and said with love and concern.

[RedPonyDriver]

Stress and memory...

I have holes in my memory that are directly related to extremely stressful events. The last 10 years have been hell...I've been known to drive down the road and have no idea how I got there, where I am, what I'm doing there and why I drove there. The scariest times are when I almost forget how to drive...yeah...

 

My therapist told me it had everything to do with stress and told me that it's essentially my brain shutting down...sort of like having a full hard drive. The best cure, for me, is to go to sleep. Again, kind of like rebooting the computer. It's scary as hell when you're known as the one with the excellent memory. 

[CherryMalotte]

I totally concur - stress can cause major major brain wormholes.  A couple of Wednesdays ago it was all I could do to do my daily job and nothing else - like my brain had been removed and wrapped in ten blankets.  Too much of the multiple daily phone calls from my mother, too much of the grandma business going on, too much of the normal in house family stuff.  I've found what helps is to make lists and do one silly thing at a time, and really just list out the most important things to do, and limit them so you aren't trying to do too much, small stuff can wait.  Even just saying to yourself and your family that you are taking a couple of hours 'off' from them and don't bother me, don't ask me to do anything, find your own dinner.  I think my husband finally realized I was at the lowest ebb and has taken his football watching to our upstairs bedroom to give me some peace in the evenings, bless him.  I find being able to just flip on TCM or rewatching Parade's End very soothing. 

[Happyfatchick]

I definitely have the worm holes. The times when someone you trust looks at you and says in ALL sincerity "we TALKED ABOUT THIS, remember???" It took may sessions with the hubs with me saying, "honey, (his name isnt honey, but it rhymes - because I'm having a kick with the anonymous thing) if I could hand pick a malady...ANY ONE... Forgetfulness would NOT be a choice. It wouldnt make the top five, or the top 50. I DO NOT WANT MEMORY LOSS. I'm not lazy, slow or stupid. I'm not vindictive. I have no pleasure In forgetting vital things, Therefore, I'm not doing this on purpose to make you squiggle. Get it???" He IS being supremely good about it. And (collective show of hands with twisted fingers hoping its temporary due to stress) let's hope hope hope this all go away when my sleep patterns level out and my situations are calmer.

Edited December 1, 2015 by Happyfatchick

[Jellybeans]

Stress and memory...

I have holes in my memory that are directly related to extremely stressful events. The last 10 years have been hell...I've been known to drive down the road and have no idea how I got there, where I am, what I'm doing there and why I drove there. The scariest times are when I almost forget how to drive...yeah...

My therapist told me it had everything to do with stress and told me that it's essentially my brain shutting down...sort of like having a full hard drive. The best cure, for me, is to go to sleep. Again, kind of like rebooting the computer. It's scary as hell when you're known as the one with the excellent memory.

The best cure for stress IS sleep... provided you are not sleeping around the clock. I tend to go to sleep at 6pm (yes!) and don't wake up till 6am. And I sleep hard. It is not my normal routine but I am very stressed. No one would know by looking at me, since I tend to go silent when stressed but that is me. My Neuro said to sleep away, it probably helps but if I start sleeping during the day then I have a problem.

Enjoy your sleep. You are indeed, rebooting your computer.

Edited December 1, 2015 by Jellybeans

[NextIteration]

Checking in after what, a month almost?

 

Stress and memory, oh yea, it's a problem.  I had to have lists with me the last three weeks because everything went in one ear and out the other.  We are gonna have issues with the will and estate, two of us are of one mind and the third is off on another planet.  Thankfully, Thanksgiving was without the third and my lass came home from college and we all had fun.  We gave ourselves permission and did it.

 

The memorial was Sunday, we postponed it so that my lass would be there to say farewell to her Nana.  I did the program, all the music and photo stuff and it all went off without a hitch.  It was strange because I must have reached acceptance somewhere between the shock and the memorial so I wasn't processing the "I'm sorries" very well.  Or maybe I'm just still a bit numb.

 

Now the dilemma of Christmas lies ahead of us. Ack.

 

Hugs for all with troubles and losses and good golly Jellybeans, 2016 has to be a better year for you.

[Tabbygirl521]

Stress and memory...

I have holes in my memory that are directly related to extremely stressful events. The last 10 years have been hell...I've been known to drive down the road and have no idea how I got there, where I am, what I'm doing there and why I drove there. The scariest times are when I almost forget how to drive...yeah...

My therapist told me it had everything to do with stress and told me that it's essentially my brain shutting down...sort of like having a full hard drive. The best cure, for me, is to go to sleep. Again, kind of like rebooting the computer. It's scary as hell when you're known as the one with the excellent memory.

I used to be the one with the excellent memory, too; I completely get what you're saying.

I have some holes, too. A big chunk of the '90s is pretty vague and my son, who was involved in the issues back then, says he doesn't remember much, either. And he was just a kid then. Horrible.

[Happyfatchick]

I came here to tell you something, but totally forgot what.

[Happyfatchick]

I should've put this on my last post, but I thought that was funny so I let it stand alone. (But sometimes when I post back-to-back, it joins up anyway.)

I want to tell you what my amazing dumpster dog for this morning. I swear, this dog...

I've had myself a big fat case of the holiday blues the last couple days, (and I HAVE to stop, I'm Having a BABY!!! Just in case someone forgot -little snort - we're due TODAY!!! I said from the first second that I wanted her to be born tomorrow because it would have been daddy's 90th birthday. If that child is born tomorrow, the mom is going to swear forever that I made that happen somehow....and I'm ok with that. Nothing yet...)

ANYWAY (said the rambling queen). My mom's sudden decline after all these years is killing me, and it makes me RESENT my daughters attitude so much. She's very blasé about the whole thing, and we've always been so tight, I'm just not dealing with it. I told my son last night that it feels like when a boy and girl break up. And the guy might say, "you can't NOT love me, look what we've been through together! Look at everything I've given up for you! This isn't what you SAID! You can't just NOT love me anymore! We have too much invested together!" And the girl looks at him and says, "yeah, well. Unfortunately, I'M over it, so you need to adjust". That's EXACTLY how I feel. Like my daughter isn't invested in the family any more. She has mentally shrugged us off. Because God, apparently. (I find it difficult to believe God is happy about this when he did everything but crash the plane to keep them from going there, but that's another story).

Setting up the house for Christmas, I pulled out this ugly old ceramic Santa that she bought me the first year they were married. He's about a foot tall, and heavy as a cow. She lived in Monterrey, CA with her husband (in the army at the time). We'd gone to this little antique shop near the wharf. If was out of the way, but she knew I'd love it. I picked up this 10 lb Santa and walked around the store with him for an hour, debating. I loved him, but couldn't figure out how to fly home with him without breaking him. Didn't want to fly to Atlanta with Santa on my lap. (Depends on the Santa, right?)

They came home for Christmas that year, and she gave me Santa as a gift. I knew what a sacrifice she'd made, she couldn't afford it, she didn't live near the shop so she'd had to call and ask them to hold it. She'd flown home with him in the cabin with her so he wouldn't be broken. She was so proud, and I cried. It was maybe the best gift I'd ever gotten.

I remember that love. I remember how we spent that week working on her apartment, and how we spent time reading to each other "Where the Heart Is". She is incredible, really. I miss her so so much. Not because of the distance, but of the absence of her heart. She was forever my cuddle bug. Always had to be touching me somewhere, even just a toe. I suspect this "absence" of heart is a coping mechanism she's using to deal with the separation. She's stepped aside emotionally because God wants her there, and so that's where she has to be. (So she tells herself).

So about the dog. This morning, as soon as the hubs leaves for work, I fall across my bed and have myself a big fat pity party, and cried like the end of the world. The combination of the decline with losing my daughter is juuuuuuust tearing me apart. The dog (who really was found at a dumpster) comes to the bed and huffs at me a few times from the side (I don't allow him in my bed). He REALLY wants up, and I'm not up to arguing at the moment, so he takes my non-answer as a yes. Up he comes, all 80 lbs of him. He lays down facing me and licks my hand a couple times, puts his paw on my arm, asking me what's wrong. (He is the most sensitive dog Ive ever known, seriously). I scratch his face, still dripping. He looks at me with those human eyes of his, rolls over and presses his back into me, like we're spooning. Giving me comfort. (When he's asking for love, he faces me and shows me belly (and pokes at me until he gets what he wants. Rotten.). Clearly, he was OFFERING love, not asking).

So yeah, THAT didn't make me cry harder.