Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Love2dance]

Thank you all so much for the prayers and cyber hugs. Mama is resting comfortably, but as you can imagine in our tight family circle, the parade has begun.

I guess you can read 2 definite trends in this post (3 if you're in the Oversharing crowd):

1). I am very (maybe just a little) protective of my family and

2). This is not real to me yet

The not-quite-hospice nurse is coming Tuesday morning and I'm sure she will order hospice nurses quickly. I'm not sure what this organization is, but the doctor is sending them so it's legit. An organization that tells you what to DO when you've chosen to let your loved one stay at home for the duration. Do they continue to oversee after hospice is involved? I don't know. Does anybody know this? joanArc, you got anything? I'd never heard of such a thing before.

HAPPYFATCHICK, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Your mom is lucky to have such a caring and ferocious daughter.

Hospice was wonderful when my Dad was passing at home. I am sure you will also find that they will ease this most difficult process, and help guide you. I do not know how these amazing people do what they do day after day.

You are dealing with such impossible situations, between your Missionary daughter, your Mom's illness, disappointment with friends and relatives, and more. Have you thought about talking with a good counselor? Sometimes when things pile up, it is just too hard to handle alone. Are you getting any sleep? I see some of your posts are well into the wee hours of the morning.

Anyway, I am worried about you, and hope you can find comfort, hugs and a shoulder to lean on as you go through the days ahead.

[Defrauder]

I hate to talk about my health issues but I am hoping all you smart awesome people can give me some advice. 

 

As some of you know, I have been dealing with a host of health problems which led to my doctor asking my employer to put me on short term disability. After a long tedious process I had been approved. My doctor did not and still does not have a return to work date. I have been dealing with excessive migraines, vision changes (double vision, and now even loss of vision), numbness on the left side of my body (which causes me to fall), cognitive issues (slight memory loss and comprehension troubles). Along with all of this, I have symptoms that relate to lupus and I've had them for years. My doctor decided to send me to a neurologist to deal with the neurological issues and so far everything has come back normal, except my CRP and Sed Rate which are super elevated. He believes it is something auto-immune related. I've had an MRI, CAT scan, cerebral angiogram, and lumbar puncture and as far as I know they are all normal. I will be discussing the lumbar puncture results with my neruo next week. 

 

I have been doing everything my disability insurance company has asked. I've given them all the notes from my doctors visits and tests. My primary doctor was the one who requested the short term disability. And she explained that she wants me to have a diagnosis and treatment before I can safely return to work. Well today I received a notice that the insurance company has deemed me ineligible to receive any further short term disability. They explained that my only symptom is headaches and my primary doctor (but they named the neurologist, not my primary and they couldn't even spell his name correct) has not given them any reason why I cannot work. He was not the one who requested that I go on disability, he is just evaluating me and giving the results to my primary care doctor. He has no reason to contact them on me needing short term disability, outside of sending them his findings. They have repeatedly messed all of my paperwork up and lost paperwork. However my primary (not my neurologist) explained why I couldn't work in her original paperwork and explained that my being ready for work would depend on a diagnosis and treatment plan. I have repeatedly given them my symptoms, including the temporary vision loss that I have. However they seem to ignore that. And my doctor notes explain all symptoms. 

 

I'm at a loss of what to do now. I can't work because I am just too ill. My job is working with annuities, I handle customer calls and explain their product to them. I need to be quick to think and I also need to be able to read my computer screen. At this time, I just cannot do that reliably. I have made a follow up with my primary in hopes that she can reach out to the insurance company and straighten it all out. My appointment isn't until December 7th though. And I don't know what I am going to do with no income at all. I'm afraid all this stress will only make me more sick. So does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle a disability insurance company?

Bursla, I don't know if this information will help or not but if your MRI's are coming out normal you probably don't have MS.  If your MS was causing your vision problems and numbness problems they would almost definitely be shown as lesions on your MRI's.  Lesions on your brain, lesions on your spine.  Good luck with whatever it is that is causing your problems.  Also, I don't know if this is helpful or not but the way I look at it most people deal with something, if not a physical illness than family problems, job problems, everybody's got something going on and sometimes life get's harder than other times but try to make the best of things when you can and enjoy the parts of life that are enjoyable. 

[zenme]

The past 3 years our family has had a few deaths of other family and close friends. It seems like every 6 months loved ones have been dying. Within that time I happened to audiobook "Proof of Heaven" while taking a cross country road trip. I purchased it because at the time it was the only audiobook at the store that looked interesting to me. It couldn't have been a more lucky find, and I tell you, it's gotten me through these recent hard times. I guess there's no such thing as an accident! I've found it a huge comfort, and when I start to get down and miss my loved ones, I think of the book (audiobook), and it somehow makes me happy for my deceased family and friends. I've passed it on to many friends and family who needed the comfort too, and they say it it has helped them as well. Doesn't take away the sadness and feelings of loss, but adds a positive way of thinking about your loved ones being gone and I really try to focus on that. I really recommend it.

[kathe5133]

First of all, my sympathy to those dealing with illness and death. I've been ther and it's just not fun.

Gallows humor but, I'm reading through all these posts mentioning friends/relatives who make the death all about them. Been there big time and can appreciate the frustration.

Then Lemur posts "I bought a chainsaw today".

All I could think of was YES!

[Jellybeans]

Bursla, I don't know if this information will help or not but if your MRI's are coming out normal you probably don't have MS.  If your MS was causing your vision problems and numbness problems they would almost definitely be shown as lesions on your MRI's.  Lesions on your brain, lesions on your spine.  Good luck with whatever it is that is causing your problems.  Also, I don't know if this is helpful or not but the way I look at it most people deal with something, if not a physical illness than family problems, job problems, everybody's got something going on and sometimes life get's harder than other times but try to make the best of things when you can and enjoy the parts of life that are enjoyable.

Well, my MS was diagnosed with a spinal tap. With the attack of Optic Neuritis and other blah-blahs, I was told I had MS. So....lots of MRI's are not the last stop.

[burlsa]

((((hugs to you all))) and especially to those who are struggling right now. My thoughts are with you too. I've been so focused on fighting my crap, that I haven't had a chance to check and and send my best wishes to you.

Edited to remove upsetting information.

Edited November 21, 2015 by burlsa

[Defrauder]

Well, my MS was diagnosed with a spinal tap. With the attack of Optic Neuritis and other blah-blahs, I was told I had MS. So....lots of MRI's are not the last stop.

My MRI's were enough for my diagnosis.  Tons of lesions in brain and spine and I don't want to talk about it because I come here to forget about it not think about it. No offense I live with it so when I can just enjoy not thinking about it I do.  Just thought it might be a relief to someone to know that if its not showing up on MRI's than it's either not it (probably)or hasn't progressed enough to produce lesions on MRI's.   The damage MS does produces lesions that will more than likely show up on an MRI of brain and spine. OK sorry, I hate this subject so I'm checking out now to make fun of the Duggars. 

[Missy Vixen]

There are so many here who are having such a tough time right now. I am so sorry. And I wish there was anything I could do, besides offering lots and lots of hugs.

 

WORD (as the kids would say) to everyone experiencing relatives that make it All About Them. It's frustrating, exhausting, and I may need to borrow that chainsaw. ;-) We're about to get a big dose of it next Thursday. I'm not sure I can deal.

 

SomePity, WOOOO-HOOOOO on the new house! I can't wait to hear more about it. We live in a 2100 square foot, 3 bedrooms/2 1/2 bathrooms nondescript house. (LOL) We bought the smallest house in the neighborhood. It's nice, but it needs some serious updating and it would just be easier to move due to the fact RA and stairs do not get along. And I am hugely relieved to hear that I am not the only one that talks back to the TV during Property Brothers episodes. They'd both be on our kitchen floor in the fetal position if they got a load of the honey oak cabinets, mini blinds and white appliances around here.

 

I'm on deadline. I'm stressed out. The family Thanksgiving celebration is two hours away from us and sure to be drama-laden. Is it awful that I am praying for snow? My husband agreed we don't have to go if it snows....

[Defrauder]

I don't mean to be cold, I really don't, but if someone has a disease or thinks they have a disease, there are tons of real life support groups to be found in the real world and that is your best resource for information and support.  So many of life's issues have resources in the real world.  Sorry but they prayer closet has become a reminder of doom and gloom and is there a happy prayer closet anywhere?  Like good news/bad news separated so those of us who come here to not think about their problems don't end up getting reminded of them? Yeah so I'm a bitch but I wouldn't be a bitch if I could find a happy prayer closet. Until then I'm going to just stick to the Duggar threads.

[Wellfleet]

My doctor has had my thyroid hormone and my T4 checked. Nothing else. I know that funky thyroids can cause a lot of issues, and some of them match me. But that's what really makes me think that it could be lupus. It's like every system in my body went haywire after spending a weekend in the sun. And I know lupus attacks systems. And I know it can attack thyroids. 

 

 

I've struggled with severe joint pain since I was 17, I'm now 24. It started in my fingers. I found I couldn't play my clarinet or the piano as easily I had before. My fingers started to stick, and they would get swollen and sore. Then came my knees. They hurt so bad, and they would swell and turn deep red and be hot to the touch. Now it seems that happens with every joint in my body. My doctor has had my RA factor checked and it's always normal. 

 

As far as steroids, nope. The doctors seem to want to rule everything out before treating me with them. MS has been ruled out. My ANA is negative, but coupled with my symptoms and the high CRP and sed rate, my neurologist keeps saying auto-immune. And I know in rare cases ANA can be borderline or negative and a person can still have lupus. 

 

The reason I'm so hellbent on lupus is because it's the only thing that seems to fit. My issued started after I was sick with mono back in fall of 2008 with my joints and I also started to experience eye pain and vision changes. It wasn't anything major, but I noticed my 20/20 vision was not so perfect anymore. Then in 2011 I started to lose the feeling in my fingertips, I always assumed it was from working at McDonalds. During 2011 I also developed an allergy to UV. I would break out in hives, get a headache and eye pain, and diarrhea anytime I went near the sun. I told my doctor about my issues, and she told me not to worry just buy a stronger SPF. She had my RA factor tested and it came back normal. So she said it was nothing. Then by 2012 I started to lose the feeling in my fingers and toes whenever I got cold, and they turn this bluish corpse color. I started to suffer regular low fevers and have trouble with my memory and it started to take me longer to process information. I also started to feel exhausted doing anything, even brushing my teeth. I went to my doctor, she told me it was low vitamin d causing all of this. I started taking large doses of vit d and I just could not raise my levels. So I gave up. I quit going to the doctor, until I got a very bad ovarian cyst in 2014.  At that point my gynecologist said that based on my symptoms and cysts, I most likely have endometriosis on top of polycystic ovaries. Even then, I only saw my gynecologist. At that time I also started to get kidney stones about once every two months. I've also had chronic UTIs in that time. By July of this year, I had crippling headaches, vertigo, double vision, stiff legs (that I had to physically push and pull with my arms to move them), I started going numb and falling. My doctor finally took it serious after I went to the ER and they said that based on my tests and symptoms that I NEED to see a rhumetologist and neurologist. I also got the urine analysis back from the ER, there was a TON of red blood cells in my urine. No explanation. Now I'm slowly losing my vision. A large shadowy dark spot has appeared in my peripheral vision on my right eye. Some days everything just looks dark and shadowy. Other days everything looks totally washed out. I can't drive myself anymore. I had to buy a cane for my 24th birthday. I'm slowly loosing my mind being pent up in the house. I'm terrified of what my body is doing to me. 

 

If my neurologist will refer me to a rhumetologist, I'm hoping that he can get me in at University of Michigan (even though I'm a Spartan through and through). I live about an hour and a half from Ann Arbor, and U of M has a GREAT reputation for treating autoimmune diseases, especially lupus. They're on top of it and would probably be the best resource to get some sort of answers. 

 

As far as disability goes, I'm going to appeal the company's decision. I've also been approved for food assistance and I reached out to my case worker to see if I'm eligible for any other types of assistance. I had to borrow money from my grandparents to cover rent and my car payment. I HATE doing that because they always guilt-trip me. I'm a financially responsible person, and I've always paid them right back for small sums I've borrowed in the past. But they're of the old school mindset that everyone should have an emergency savings. I did, until I got sick and blew through the money paying medical bills and for my car. Then again my grandma thinks I'm faking it. She thinks I'm just lazy and a hypochondriac. In high school she literally told me that my depression was all in my head and that I just needed to try harder to be happy. She also asked why I didn't just work part time when my doctor literally told me that I am too sick to work. 

 

Now I've spilled my guts, but it's been cathartic. Thank you all for being here. Right now the only support I have in my life is my mom and aunt (through marriage). So I often feel I'm going crazy and feel lonely. It's such a comfort to have truly wonderful people here who I can spill everything to without worry of being judged or deemed crazy. 

 

((((hugs to you all))) and especially to those who are struggling right now. My thoughts are with you too. I've been so focused on fighting my crap, that I haven't had a chance to check and and send my best wishes to you. 

 

Burlsa - may I recommend the Earth Clinic website?  http://www.earthclinic.com  It was there that I finally found out what was causing my rosacea and also how to treat it. After having it and struggling for 20 years. We humans are all so different that what works beautifully for A doesn't do a thing for B, much of the time. So it eventually occurred to me that I really needed to do some research. And it worked, although it's taken a year of experimenting to figure what my skin likes, and what it doesn't. And bonus - I'm not using anything expensive or toxic to treat it either. This is something I love - that's invaluable. I'm not saying you'll find what you need and even if you do, you may have to do some heavy-duty research first. But I read a great deal on Earth Clinic that never would have crossed my mind otherwise. Lots of ideas and possibilities from others who have had similar experiences. And there's no substitute for that. Two heads really are better than one. And of course, 1000s of heads are even better. Good luck and keep us posted.☀️

Edited November 21, 2015 by Wellfleet

[Wellfleet]

I can't even bring myself to watch HGTV anymore. I get filled with rage. And I can never understand why people need so many damn bedrooms either, especially if the houses have finished basements.

And open concept is a plague. I love traditional homes, and it's so hard to find homes with traditional layouts. People (in my area) destroy the insides of victorians and craftsmans by ripping down walls to open it all up.

If I want to watch a home remodeling show, I'll watch This Old House.

 

Wow, I thought I was the only person left on the planet who did not care for "open concept." I like separate rooms, cozy rooms where a door can be closed and quiet descends. PS - I don't like those 2-story great rooms that seem to be so popular now. Who wants to pay to heat [or cool] all that unnecessary space?? Mostly I like having my separate dining room with a pocket door into the kitchen. A door that can be closed when I'm having guests and the kitchen is wrecked, but we're all still sitting around, having coffee and dessert and then a little more coffee and dessert - and awesome conversation. I don't want to sit there looking at the mess I'll have to clean up after they they all go home.

[burlsa]

I don't mean to be cold, I really don't, but if someone has a disease or thinks they have a disease, there are tons of real life support groups to be found in the real world and that is your best resource for information and support. So many of life's issues have resources in the real world. Sorry but they prayer closet has become a reminder of doom and gloom and is there a happy prayer closet anywhere? Like good news/bad news separated so those of us who come here to not think about their problems don't end up getting reminded of them? Yeah so I'm a bitch but I wouldn't be a bitch if I could find a happy prayer closet. Until then I'm going to just stick to the Duggar threads.

Sorry to have bothered you. I only posted here by the suggestion of my mom to see if anybody has had to deal with disability insurance companies.

People gave me suggestions and I'm acting on those. I won't post anymore about my crap. Thanks for confirming that here is not the place to ask for suggestions or advice.

Wellfleet I will look into that, thanks.

[burlsa]

Wow, I thought I was the only person left on the planet who did not care for "open concept." I like separate rooms, cozy rooms where a door can be closed and quiet descends. PS - I don't like those 2-story great rooms that seem to be so popular now. Who wants to pay to heat [or cool] all that unnecessary space?? Mostly I like having my separate dining room with a pocket door into the kitchen. A door that can be closed when I'm having guests and the kitchen is wrecked, but we're all still sitting around, having coffee and dessert and then a little more coffee and dessert - and awesome conversation. I don't want to sit there looking at the mess I'll have to clean up after they they all go home.

I LOVE pocket doors!

When I watch those shows and people say that everyone hangs out in the kitchen, I wonder to myself if I'm weird because I don't know anybody that hangs out in a kitchen. If we have company, we're all hanging out in the living room.

I want the smallest amount of house that I can fit into comfortably for the exact same reason I don't want a two story great room. As you said, it would suck to heat/cool. And here in Michigan air conditioning in the summer and heat in the winter are a must.

[wilsie]

I don't mind reading about anything anyone needs to post.  The people here give wonderful and caring advice and are very helpful.  And I am happy when people have good news to share. 

[kassygreene]

Wow, I thought I was the only person left on the planet who did not care for "open concept." I like separate rooms, cozy rooms where a door can be closed and quiet descends. PS - I don't like those 2-story great rooms that seem to be so popular now. Who wants to pay to heat [or cool] all that unnecessary space?? Mostly I like having my separate dining room with a pocket door into the kitchen. A door that can be closed when I'm having guests and the kitchen is wrecked, but we're all still sitting around, having coffee and dessert and then a little more coffee and dessert - and awesome conversation. I don't want to sit there looking at the mess I'll have to clean up after they they all go home.

 

I love open concept - when I live alone.  Otherwise I tend to exist in just one room, and I feel like I have lots of wasted space.  When I'm living with people, I want rooms with doors (and multiple bathrooms).

 

I don't mind reading about anything anyone needs to post.  The people here give wonderful and caring advice and are very helpful.  And I am happy when people have good news to share. 

 

Word.

[Readalot]

"You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life (and this board and I think that's great!)". I think it's therapuric to write and for me that has helped when dealing with my health issues. Like Wellfleet stated, two heads are better than one, and you never know, what information shared here can make a difference to you. Whether it's encouragment or support or information or advice, I think it's all useful and I appreciate it.

[Ownedbydogs]

Readalot I can't agree more.  I lurk mostly but I don't mind reading about life. I like to think my silent thoughts and prayers may, in some small way, help. Lets face it we all need to vent at times.  I am extremely grateful that this is a safe place to do so. I'm even more grateful for all of the the loving members that offer their support.

 

One day I will lean to type but today isn't the day.

Edited November 21, 2015 by Ownedbydogs

[leighroda]

So, in good news, generally I have the cooking skills of... Well I have no cooking skills. If I get hungry outside of mealtime I usually have cereal.

So my sister did not get my text requesting of where she was having dinner so she could bring me something. So I was on my own, I didn't feel like going anywhere, I already had cereal today, and will probably have my before bed bowl later (I kinda treat it like dessert, I don't eat a lot of sweets), we don't have sandwhich stuff, I live in Florida where it's still 90 degrees outside so it's too warm for soup... So I realized it was just me and my arch nemesis... The oven. So I look in the freezer and see absolutely nothing I want to consider eating. When I noticed on the counter a package of 2 pizza crusts. Here is my thought process:

Hmmm, maybe sister will make me pizza. No! Wait what if I make pizza? Naw, let's not be crazy. What kind of cereal do we have... No pizza, I can make pizza it's putting toppings on a crust and melting it, I'm a legitimate adult I can do this, I give shots for a living, this isn't rocket science.

So I turn the oven on to start preheating... Maybe I should make sure we have toppings I like before I get too invested in this. I open the fridge and like a light from above (no not God, literally the light in the fridge) my eyes landed on 2 new bags of mozzarella cheese, underneath those a package of little pepperoni...score (I feel like I should disclose at this point that my sister purchased all of the pizza makings with this intent, and I staunchly denied that I would ever be capable of this feat... So I knew we had stuff to make pizza I just wasn't sure what exactly we had) ok, so being that I am a relatively picky eater I stopped there, then picked up a bag of Mexican cheese for good measure (I really love cheese). Ok so it's me and the ingredients but I felt like I was forgetting something, thankfully I remembered pizza sauce.

Ok I can do this, a thin layer of sauce... Check. Almost the whole bag of cheese...check, a sprinkle of Mexican cheese, and some pepperoni. Ok stay calm leighroda... I put it in the oven and 12 minutes later it's done. I did it. I. Made. Dinner.

I didn't get to revel too long in my triumph before I realize the crust had a sheet of paper to separate from the other piece that I had not noticed and had now baked. Luckily it peeled right off.

I know, half of you have been cooking since you could walk, but my moms idea of a home cooked meal was getting chilis take out and using our plates to eat it. So this is a big triumph in my world.

[Love2dance]

BURLSA (and other posters with family, health issues), I can only speak for myself, but I see this as a safe place for everyone to post their thoughts....happy, sad, scared, hopeful, etc. I hope to be an open ear at the least, and maybe even helpful sometimes. And if I should ever have a worry or problem to share, I have felt that this is where I would want to come. The members here are so smart and caring. And some (HAPPYFATCHICK and others) are such amazing writers that I feel like I am with them in a room with a cozy fire.

Anyway, my point is I hope this forum stays just the way it is with no censorship of topics.

[crazycatlady58]

I like having a place where I can share the good and bad. We all have both types of days ( often in the same day) and it is good to have a safe place to share.

[Absolom]

People post about things that aren't my primary interest all the time.  Skimming and skipping are really good techniques. :) 

 

Two story great rooms are lovely to visit but I certainly don't want one.  The house shows have made me loathe the terms updated and open concept. 

 

Good luck to all needing hugs and help or a diagnosis.

Edited November 21, 2015 by Absolom

[Barb23]

Leighroda- Congrats on the pizza! I also have baked many of the pieces of paper you described as well as the plastic sponge-like paper in the bottom of meat packages. Even last Thanksgiving I realized after cooking the turkey that Mr. Barb & I didn't get the entire package of innards out of the turkey. Oops!

I'm watching Master Chef Junior & these kids are unbelievable. They are cooking fish dishes & the results look like they belong in a fine restaurant. I'm sure at 10 years of age, I was happy at being able to master the art of opening a can of tuna.

[lookeyloo]

People post about things that aren't my primary interest all the time.  Skimming and skipping are really good techniques. :) 

 

Two story great rooms are lovely to visit but I certainly don't want one.  The house shows have made me loathe the terms updated and open concept. 

 

Good luck to all needing hugs and help or a diagnosis.

Whaaaaat? I love two story great rooms. We are moving to house with one in the next few weeks. We have owned it since June and there has been work going on and so far the utilities seem manageable. It has a separate dining room but we don't anticipate using it much. Here in this house it is not "open concept" and people always congregate in the kitchen. I've tried putting food in the living room and drinks in there too but it always ends up with people in the kitchen. But some one said "reasonable people can agree to disagree reasonably". Carry on

[Absolom]

To be honest, I don't want the cleaning issues with two story windows and the usual catwalks and niches that are in most of the great rooms here.  I begrudge no one having one.  :) 

[leighroda]

It's not an issue if you ignore it...lol...just kidding

[Wok Chop]

I don't mean to be cold, I really don't, but if someone has a disease or thinks they have a disease, there are tons of real life support groups to be found in the real world and that is your best resource for information and support.  So many of life's issues have resources in the real world.  Sorry but they prayer closet has become a reminder of doom and gloom and is there a happy prayer closet anywhere?  Like good news/bad news separated so those of us who come here to not think about their problems don't end up getting reminded of them? Yeah so I'm a bitch but I wouldn't be a bitch if I could find a happy prayer closet. Until then I'm going to just stick to the Duggar threads.

So it was fine for "Wanderwoman" to dominate this forum for months with her made up bullshit--and even have the thread renamed for her fake kid--but shame on Burlsa for being at the lowest point of her life and daring to talk about it here. Real life support groups aren't an option for some folks with social anxiety, who are afraid of opening themselves up to be criticized by rude, judgmental people. Instead, she felt safe to post here because most posters here are pretty great and have made her feel welcome.

Burlsa is my daughter, so yeah, I'm feeling pretty damn protective of her these days. I guess I should tell her to refrain from posting until she gives birth to conjoined twins who came out sideways at 26 weeks gestation and have arms coming out of their foreheads like a unicorn, and only Ben Carson can save them, but that will cost lots of money, so we'll need to set up a GoFundMe campaign.

[XinaMarie]

Our house was supposed to be a two story family room, but we opted to put a ceiling on it, thereby creating a large playroom upstairs. I absolutely love having an area to put all of my daughter's toys so she can spread them out and dump them and I don't have them spread in other areas of the house. However, with all her issues, we mainly use it as a sensory gym and replicated the one she has at the therapist's office as best we can.

 

We have one of those egg shaped chairs on a swivel that has a shade that pulls down on it so she can block out the world and be spun around, a balance beam, a mini trampoline, a foam wedge for practicing her somersaults, a tunnel, and until recently a ball pit we made out of one of those cheapo baby pools and a bag of plastic balls. We also have dress up clothes so she can practice getting dressed and undressed and a mirror so she can watch herself do everything in. Mainly the toys are there for her cousins and other kids to play with when they come over. Because of her autism, she really is not interested in playing with toys, but she loves being active in her gym.

 

Anyway, we built the house before we had her. We just didn't want the heating and cooling issues that people seem to have with all that open space. Also cleaning those windows all the way up there are a pain. And buying curtains that hang two stories cost a fortune. Our foyer is two story and there is an art niche high up on the wall that I still have put nothing in because I have nothing that large and do not own a ladder high enough to get it up there.  Our Christmas tree gets put up in the foyer against the staircase wall and is 12' tall. It is quite a challenge to decorate, but I love the way it looks there.

 

I have a sister who studied architecture. She lived in a Victorian house in one state and never finished it. It was totally gutted down to the studs when she bought it. She recently moved into our father's ancestral home. It was built right after the civil war and the last time anyone did anything with it has been the early 80s. Since then it has been maintained just enough not to cave in. She is the house's last hope. She and my father had to redo the electrical and water before she could move in. She bought a new stove, fridge, washer and dryer. I really hope they are on a faster time line than the last house. My dad is pushing 70 and I would love for him to see it restored to its glory before it is too late.

 

I just realized my daughter is in bed and I am still watching Peppa Pig. Friday night TV is the pits.

[XinaMarie]

So it was fine for "Wanderwoman" to dominate this forum for months with her made up bullshit--and even have the thread renamed for her fake kid--but shame on Burlsa for being at the lowest point of her life and daring to talk about it here. Real life support groups aren't an option for some folks with social anxiety, who are afraid of opening themselves up to be criticized by rude, judgmental people. Instead, she felt safe to post here because most posters here are pretty great and have made her feel welcome.

Burlsa is my daughter, so yeah, I'm feeling pretty damn protective of her these days. I guess I should tell her to refrain from posting until she gives birth to conjoined twins who came out sideways at 26 weeks gestation and have arms coming out of their foreheads like a unicorn, and only Ben Carson can save them, but that will cost lots of money, so we'll need to set up a GoFundMe campaign.

 

Slow clap. Damn that was beautiful.

[Liz Tudor]

I'm watching "Going Clear," the Scientology documentary. These people make Gothard and his followers look like they're skipping through the park, picking daisies. Highly recommend it, if you're remotely interested in cults (or obsessed, like I am!).

[Love2dance]

So it was fine for "Wanderwoman" to dominate this forum for months with her made up bullshit--and even have the thread renamed for her fake kid--but shame on Burlsa for being at the lowest point of her life and daring to talk about it here. Real life support groups aren't an option for some folks with social anxiety, who are afraid of opening themselves up to be criticized by rude, judgmental people. Instead, she felt safe to post here because most posters here are pretty great and have made her feel welcome.

Burlsa is my daughter, so yeah, I'm feeling pretty damn protective of her these days..

Thank you for this. Please convince Burlsa that the previous poster did not reflect most members here and we really want to support her and be a safe place to share and request help.

ETA: And I mean this for all the dear members of this forum who have reached out for help, advice , support, or a hug.

Edited November 21, 2015 by Love2dance

[wilsie]

 

So it was fine for "Wanderwoman" to dominate this forum for months with her made up bullshit--and even have the thread renamed for her fake kid--but shame on Burlsa for being at the lowest point of her life and daring to talk about it here. Real life support groups aren't an option for some folks with social anxiety, who are afraid of opening themselves up to be criticized by rude, judgmental people. Instead, she felt safe to post here because most posters here are pretty great and have made her feel welcome.

Burlsa is my daughter, so yeah, I'm feeling pretty damn protective of her these days. I guess I should tell her to refrain from posting until she gives birth to conjoined twins who came out sideways at 26 weeks gestation and have arms coming out of their foreheads like a unicorn, and only Ben Carson can save them, but that will cost lots of money, so we'll need to set up a GoFundMe campaign.

Go Mom!  I am so grateful for you and your daughter!

[GeeGolly]

Just got home from my 1st Paint & Sip. Had a blast.

[GeeGolly]

I would like to give a shout out to our Super Sleuth burlsa. You had our backs when we needed you. It's only right for us to have your back now.

[kalamac]

I can't imagine not being able to cook, because we all had to learn in my house, and as soon as you turned 13, you were responsible for making dinner for the family one night a week, which we all grumbled about at the time, be we all left home knowing how to fend for ourselves in that department, as well as cooking for any guests we may have, but I do admire people who didn't grow up learning, and don't think they have natural skill, but try anyway.

Leighroda, well done on the pizza. Keep experimenting with making things, start will simple recipes - stuff that doesn't take too much prep and uses minimal ingredients - and you'll do fine.

http://www.4ingredients.com.au/recipes

This is a good site for recipes that don't use too many ingredients.

Edited November 21, 2015 by kalamac

[Wellfleet]

BURLSA (and other posters with family, health issues), I can only speak for myself, but I see this as a safe place for everyone to post their thoughts....happy, sad, scared, hopeful, etc. I hope to be an open ear at the least, and maybe even helpful sometimes. And if I should ever have a worry or problem to share, I have felt that this is where I would want to come. The members here are so smart and caring. And some (HAPPYFATCHICK and others) are such amazing writers that I feel like I am with them in a room with a cozy fire.

Anyway, my point is I hope this forum stays just the way it is with no censorship of topics.

 

My two cents, FWIW. I think everyone should post, and read, exactly what he or she wants here. And should not feel bad about it, either way. If you're having a health problem, tell us. Maybe someone here has experienced the very same thing. If you need to vent about an issue of any kind, do it. Personally I've sometimes received some terrific ideas on how to proceed with "X" after inadvertently flipping my lid in front of friends. And good news is always welcome. Tell us when you're having a baby, or a new grandchild is on the way, or your husband bought you flowers. By the same token, no one is required to read every single post, every single day. Read what you find interesting, funny, compelling. Skip the bad news if you can't contribute something positive, or when it would just bring you down. That's cool too. Unlike fundie females, we are not required to pretend that everything is Sweetness and Light all the time.

[latetotheparty]

Burlsa and everyone:  Please keep posting!  There are many days when I just can't stomach the Duggars but I always look into what you all are doing.  Love you guys.

[jcbrown]

 

It's been a hard day. Tomorrow doesn't look any better. It's just hard. How is it that I want her stay and want her to go at the same time?

HFC, I am so sorry. I have been almost exactly where you are. My mom had Alzheimer's and in 2007, she stopped being able to swallow and we had to make a decision whether to insert a feeding tube which would have kept her alive indefinitely, or whether to accept that her life as she wanted it had run its course. Thus started a 7-day vigil where my DH and I flew across the country to her side (on my birthday) and my dad, sister, DH, and I kept vigil in the nursing home so Mom was never alone. Sister, DH, and I went to my parents' house to sleep, then traded off with Dad so he could go home to shower and change. The nursing home moved her roommate out so we could have privacy and could not have been more accommodating.  It was a beautiful terrible heartbreaking time and I would not trade it, oddly enough (unless I could trade it for Mom not having the f%*$ing disease). Do what you need to do. Take care of yourself, too. Hugs.

[Wellfleet]

So, in good news, generally I have the cooking skills of... Well I have no cooking skills. If I get hungry outside of mealtime I usually have cereal.

So my sister did not get my text requesting of where she was having dinner so she could bring me something. So I was on my own, I didn't feel like going anywhere, I already had cereal today, and will probably have my before bed bowl later (I kinda treat it like dessert, I don't eat a lot of sweets), we don't have sandwhich stuff, I live in Florida where it's still 90 degrees outside so it's too warm for soup... So I realized it was just me and my arch nemesis... The oven. So I look in the freezer and see absolutely nothing I want to consider eating. When I noticed on the counter a package of 2 pizza crusts. Here is my thought process:

Hmmm, maybe sister will make me pizza. No! Wait what if I make pizza? Naw, let's not be crazy. What kind of cereal do we have... No pizza, I can make pizza it's putting toppings on a crust and melting it, I'm a legitimate adult I can do this, I give shots for a living, this isn't rocket science.

So I turn the oven on to start preheating... Maybe I should make sure we have toppings I like before I get too invested in this. I open the fridge and like a light from above (no not God, literally the light in the fridge) my eyes landed on 2 new bags of mozzarella cheese, underneath those a package of little pepperoni...score (I feel like I should disclose at this point that my sister purchased all of the pizza makings with this intent, and I staunchly denied that I would ever be capable of this feat... So I knew we had stuff to make pizza I just wasn't sure what exactly we had) ok, so being that I am a relatively picky eater I stopped there, then picked up a bag of Mexican cheese for good measure (I really love cheese). Ok so it's me and the ingredients but I felt like I was forgetting something, thankfully I remembered pizza sauce.

Ok I can do this, a thin layer of sauce... Check. Almost the whole bag of cheese...check, a sprinkle of Mexican cheese, and some pepperoni. Ok stay calm leighroda... I put it in the oven and 12 minutes later it's done. I did it. I. Made. Dinner.

I didn't get to revel too long in my triumph before I realize the crust had a sheet of paper to separate from the other piece that I had not noticed and had now baked. Luckily it peeled right off.

I know, half of you have been cooking since you could walk, but my moms idea of a home cooked meal was getting chilis take out and using our plates to eat it. So this is a big triumph in my world.

 

Next you have to try making white sauce [garlic sauce] for your pizza - you will believe you're in Heaven! 

 

So it was fine for "Wanderwoman" to dominate this forum for months with her made up bullshit--and even have the thread renamed for her fake kid--but shame on Burlsa for being at the lowest point of her life and daring to talk about it here. Real life support groups aren't an option for some folks with social anxiety, who are afraid of opening themselves up to be criticized by rude, judgmental people. Instead, she felt safe to post here because most posters here are pretty great and have made her feel welcome.

Burlsa is my daughter, so yeah, I'm feeling pretty damn protective of her these days. I guess I should tell her to refrain from posting until she gives birth to conjoined twins who came out sideways at 26 weeks gestation and have arms coming out of their foreheads like a unicorn, and only Ben Carson can save them, but that will cost lots of money, so we'll need to set up a GoFundMe campaign.

 

For God's sake, not Ben Carson - LOL!  Seriously, when it comes to Ben Carson, I want a second opinion...

Edited November 21, 2015 by Wellfleet

[Wellfleet]

I DO love my house, HFC - it's been a very nice place to settle into my new life post-divorce - but I'm ready to move on to the next stage, and the new place just seems to be calling to me ! The hearth wants what it wants haha...  ;)

 

You can be the secret Jedi sister I never knew about, Lemur !!! Have to say, however, even though my Belgian Baby is my dear, sweet, giant Goofus Maloofus, he can be a tough customer ! He's really not all that big, maybe 75 pounds, but is amazingly strong - when he sees a squirrel he gets all laser-focused and it's all I can do to remain upright. I've had him in behavior/training classes for more than two years but NOTHING, so far, has been able to mitigate his small-prey instincts. He is fiercely protective of me, though, which is very comforting - he's the very same breed that was part of the Navy Seal team that took out Osama Bin Laden ! If anyone ever approached me menacingly he'd most likely rip their arm off. That's a BIG change after my two little Bostons, who would probably just crawl right up onto the lap of a burglar and fall fast asleep, but there's something to be said for two dogs you can tuck under your arm and carry if they get too ornery ! 

 

That's just so beautiful as to take my breath away ! Reminds me so much of Cape May, where I've spent much time looking at the wonderful houses more than I did at the sunsets ! You're NOT a jerk, by the way, for insisting that history be preserved - you're the reason we don't lose our culture, our history, and the beauty of the past. Having a home there must be like living in a land of giant wedding cakes ! Makes me want to take tea in the parlor...

 

I've never had much luck with roses, Wellfleet, but this gives me the impetus to try again ! Maybe I can be the weird neighborhood Lady with the Roses in my new house ! Now get off my lawn !!!

 

Oh, my, Lookeyloo - you must like to "hate watch" that show as much as I do ! It always makes me stabby when you see people who are willing to uproot their entire lives to move 8,000 miles away but they turn a house down cold because they don't like the light switch covers ! And the ones who have a list of things that only a multimillionaire could afford but they have a budget of, like, a hundred thousand dollars ? THAT earns a slipper thrown at the TV every time !

 

Wow, there were DOGS with the Navy Seals that went after Osama? No kidding - that's wild. And awesome. One more reason for me to love dogs [ and I do]. My mom said I used to nap on our first dog when I was little. I was my parents' second child - Duchess came 5 months before me. I still miss her, and I was 16 when she died. Sniff.

[Wok Chop]

Read what you find interesting, funny, compellifng. Skip the bad news if you can't contribute something positive, or when it would just bring you down. That's cool too. Unlike fundie females, we are not required to pretend that everything is Sweetness and Light all the time.

I will admit that I have to skip the sick or dying animals stories. My heart cannot take it because I love animals more than most humans. Sometimes I even cry when I see roadkill. I never used to be THIS bad, but we have an aging kitty who I love so much that I guess every critter I see makes me think of her.

[Wellfleet]

I will admit that I have to skip the sick or dying animals stories. My heart cannot take it because I love animals more than most humans. Sometimes I even cry when I see roadkill. I never used to be THIS bad, but we have an aging kitty who I love so much that I guess every critter I see makes me think of her.

 

I'm the same way. Anything happening with an animal will get to me FAR faster and deeper than a human having the same problem. It's odd, and sometimes makes me feel badly. But I can't help it. Lately I've been thinking it's because animals can't talk and tell us what's wrong, or what they need, or whatever. So we just automatically ascribe nothing but positive and loving vibes from them. ???

[Micks Picks]

So after a busy, for me, day, I am watching Snake City again.  The guy is covered in beautiful tattoos and is from S. Africa, love the way he talks.  It's only $30 to get a snake removed.  I was amazed.  He has a long way to drive to get to some of these places.  Good thing he has a reality show so he can make a living.

Mikey won at a raffle a session with a photographer and the pictures were finally ready.  A store I needed to go to, a groomer for Mikey and a salon to cut my hair were all close to each other so we got all of that done and the photog brought the photos to the groomer.  They are truly beautiful.  Mikey was ready but was busy watching the groomer doing the next dog.  When he came out to see the photographer he went right to him and starting carrying on "talking" and making a fuss.  The photographer loves him.  And some of those pictures made a good stab at capturing his spirit.  

Best wishes to all those suffering from health issues and potential losses.  My heart is with you.

[Happyfatchick]

Have you thought about talking with a good counselor? Sometimes when things pile up, it is just too hard to handle alone. Are you getting any sleep? I see some of your posts are well into the wee hours of the morning. Anyway, I am worried about you, and hope you can find comfort, hugs and a shoulder to lean on as you go through the days ahead.

 

I haven't really considered counseling and I'm not sure why. I guess I keep thinking at some point, when things are calm, I will take care of myself. And yes (or no, depending on perspective), I don't get much sleep. I'm a lifelong insomniac. I remember fighting with myself all through even grade school, trying to make myself sleep. I'm not a good sleeper, even when I'm relaxed and calm. When there's a glitch, it's hopeless. I tend to go for days (as long as a week) sleeping 3-4 hours a night, but at some point, I crash and burn. Last Saturday around 4:00pm, I decided to take a quick nap and woke up at noon on Sunday. No one else in my family has sleep issues, but I sure do!  My first thought when I saw you had noticed my posting times: busted!!!

I bought a chainsaw today.

I'm not even sure why, but this made me laugh aloud! My kinda girl!!! GO YOU!!!

  

WORD (as the kids would say) to everyone experiencing relatives that make it All About Them. It's frustrating, exhausting, and I may need to borrow that chainsaw. ;-)

 

. I think we may need to do a time-share arrangement on the chain saw.

 

Burlsa is my daughter, so yeah, I'm feeling pretty damn protective of her these days.

Am I the only one here who just said "what???" I didn't know that! Did we know that??? And it may be a little late to be protective of your daughter after naming the poor thing Burlsa. (Said the girl who's actual first given name at birth was Zelma).

My dog (the one who is my mini-me) sleeps on my bed every night. He's a very small cocker, but has the biggest attitude in the house. Unfortunately, tonight, he has the worst gas in the history of ever. Either that, or there's a cadaver under my bed. I've actually flapped the iPad in his direction a time or two. Ewww!!!

[DangerousMinds]

So it was fine for "Wanderwoman" to dominate this forum for months with her made up bullshit--and even have the thread renamed for her fake kid--but shame on Burlsa for being at the lowest point of her life and daring to talk about it here. Real life support groups aren't an option for some folks with social anxiety, who are afraid of opening themselves up to be criticized by rude, judgmental people. Instead, she felt safe to post here because most posters here are pretty great and have made her feel welcome.

Burlsa is my daughter, so yeah, I'm feeling pretty damn protective of her these days. I guess I should tell her to refrain from posting until she gives birth to conjoined twins who came out sideways at 26 weeks gestation and have arms coming out of their foreheads like a unicorn, and only Ben Carson can save them, but that will cost lots of money, so we'll need to set up a GoFundMe campaign.

For what it's worth, and this is the first and probably only post I will make on this subject, I complained to the mods immediately after seeing that the name of this thread had been changed. Thankfully, they quickly changed it back. But the thought of it still angers me a bit. I had no use for this thread for months. Carry on.

[Readalot]

I will admit that I have to skip the sick or dying animals stories. My heart cannot take it because I love animals more than most humans. Sometimes I even cry when I see roadkill. I never used to be THIS bad, but we have an aging kitty who I love so much that I guess every critter I see makes me think of her.

me too! I love my animals too hard. Cats broke my heart during my childhood. (RIP TIGER!) During college I lived with my dad. He had a dog, it got sick and died. Then we got another one, it was stolen or ran away. I don't remember what happened to the third one within a year. I said never again to pets. When my hubby and I bought our first home he wanted to adopt a dog ASAP. I was NO WAY. He use to visit the local humane society all the time. It took him a year or two but he wore me down and I agreed to ONE visit. Of course I fell in love with the best dog in the world and the rest was history. We have been married 25 years and our third adopted doggy will probably be with us a few more years at most. Time to adopt another one soon, we overlap them every few years.

[Readalot]

I would like to give a shout out to our Super Sleuth burlsa. You had our backs when we needed you. It's only right for us to have your back now.

absolfrikenlutely!

[Love2dance]

I haven't really considered counseling and I'm not sure why. I guess I keep thinking at some point, when things are calm, I will take care of myself. And yes (or no, depending on perspective), I don't get much sleep. I'm a lifelong insomniac. I remember fighting with myself all through even grade school, trying to make myself sleep. I'm not a good sleeper, even when I'm relaxed and calm. When there's a glitch, it's hopeless. I tend to go for days (as long as a week) sleeping 3-4 hours a night, but at some point, I crash and burn. Last Saturday around 4:00pm, I decided to take a quick nap and woke up at noon on Sunday. No one else in my family has sleep issues, but I sure do! My first thought when I saw you had noticed my posting times: busted!!!

LOL, HAPPYFATCHICK, I wasn't stalking you, honest. There are a few of us on the west coast who tend to be the last posters of the night, but I noticed on a few occasions you joined us. And I remembered several times you mentioned you live in Atlanta. I wondered how you were managing to be awake at 2-3 in the morning. As far as sleeping goes, I'm right there with you in not being able to sleep if any of my loved ones are sick or hurt or even sad. It's not fun. Wishing you restful nights!

Edited November 21, 2015 by Love2dance

[Almost 3000]

(Snip)

The not-quite-hospice nurse is coming Tuesday morning and I'm sure she will order hospice nurses quickly. I'm not sure what this organization is, but the doctor is sending them so it's legit. An organization that tells you what to DO when you've chosen to let your loved one stay at home for the duration. Do they continue to oversee after hospice is involved? I don't know. Does anybody know this? joanArc, you got anything? I'd never heard of such a thing before.

My 96 year old mom who has dementia has been in hospice for almost 2 years. She had a brief palliative care intermission because hospice has to justify their participation to the government and she was doing better so they moved her to palliative care but that only lasted a month. Once you sign in to hospice they are in charge but if the patient gets better they will be signed back to palliative or something like geri-care with are just different levels care serviced by your insurance as opposed to the hospice team. I was devastated to sign her into hospice two years ago. At that time someone told me that some patients out live hospice particularly those with dementia. My mom did. Its tough. Take care.

[MarysWetBar]

Wok Chop, on 20 Nov 2015 - 7:14 PM, said:

So it was fine for "Wanderwoman" to dominate this forum for months with her made up bullshit--and even have the thread renamed for her fake kid--but shame on Burlsa for being at the lowest point of her life and daring to talk about it here. Real life support groups aren't an option for some folks with social anxiety, who are afraid of opening themselves up to be criticized by rude, judgmental people. Instead, she felt safe to post here because most posters here are pretty great and have made her feel welcome.

Burlsa is my daughter, so yeah, I'm feeling pretty damn protective of her these days. I guess I should tell her to refrain from posting until she gives birth to conjoined twins who came out sideways at 26 weeks gestation and have arms coming out of their foreheads like a unicorn, and only Ben Carson can save them, but that will cost lots of money, so we'll need to set up a GoFundMe campaign.

Screwed the quote thingie but just HAD to say. ..holy shit gf! You need to harness THAT for your next interview :)

I'm good with whatever anyone wants to yack about here. I chime in if it is something i have history with and stay quiet when it is something i have no clue about.

Good for you Wok chop. I quite enjoyed your summary of the batshit cray cray artist formerly known as wanderwoman as well! Spot on!

[Sew Sumi]

FFS, some people have to get over themselves! LOVE WokChop going all mamabear over Burlsa. THAT is what this place is about. I know I'm not really a regular here, but I do read and send up positivity for anyone who needs it. 

 

If life were all sunshine, puppies, and rainbows, we'd all be living at the Duggar compound with plastered on smiles. But it's not, and that's why this place exists.