Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Jenniferbug]

Muffyn, was your friend Michael from Kansas City?

I had a mild case of shingles when I was 17. My husband had a mild case at 22. I'm definitely getting that vaccination when I'm old enough!

[Barb23]

My husband's grandmother & I shared the same names -first & last. When she died, I called the florist to order flowers. I explained at the beginning of the conversation that I have the same name as my husband's deceased grandmother so I wouldn't confuse her. Evidently she didn't catch on. When we got to the billing info she asked whose name the credit card was under. I told her my name & she replied "oh, you are using her credit card."

[bigskygirl]

Saw The Peanuts Movie this afternoon. Charles Schultz would have been proud. Great movie for kids and grown ups.

[Joe Jitsu913]

My grandmother passed 11 years ago. We were extremely close. Our personalities were exactly alike. I almost think we were kindred spirits. Last year, on the 10 year anniversary of her death, my mom checks the mail and in her mailbox was something addressed to my grandmother. My grandmother never lived with my mom and I, and had a completely different address. My Mom was perturbed to say the least. I honestly wonder if that was my grandmother saying hello.

Shortly after my grandmother died, I was laying in bed sobbing and wishing I could speak to grandmother again. It's 5 am. I can't sleep, but all I want to do is talk to my grandmother. Suddenly the phone rings. I hear my Mom answer it but I can't make out what's being said . I fall asleep and wake up later on.

I come downstairs and my Mom is so very annoyed. She tells me that someone called very early this morning but wouldn't reply when my mom picked up the phone. She was really miffed about it.

Another instance where I wonder if my grandmother was saying hello.

[Muffyn]

Muffyn, was your friend Michael from Kansas City?

JenniferBug, I knew him in San Francisco.  I thought he grew up locally but I'm not positive.  Jerry was from New Orleans.  San Francisco is a city of transplants. 

Edited November 11, 2015 by Muffyn

[Micks Picks]

My husband would not die.  Many years of problems, and 2 or 3 years of problems so severe they almost killed me.  He didn't want hospice id it meant they wouldn't call paramedics if he couldn't breathe.  It happened once and we were out and I drove him to hospital.  He was effectively dead when I got him there. I rolled him into wheelchair and through packed waiting room and all the people there to get your name and problem.  Ran him down a hallway until a guy coming toward me said" OMG guy, I hope you make it".  He did after 2 weeks on  a vent.  In the car he was in pain, gasping, horrific.  Had another couple of years of hospital, rehab, home, hospital, rehab etc. AAt the end he fell and got a bleed on the brain.  The nurse said he should go to hospital.  I said for what.  They wouldn't do surgery to relieve the blood, so no point.  He was amenable to going though.  But he also had an implanted defibrillator that desperately needed a new battery and he was not strong enough even to endure that.  So I knew he'd go at home, and I knew the defib would shock him when the heart tried to stop.  It did.  But there was no "up" left for him, much as he wanted it.  God, I miss him.

[GeeGolly]

Wow Mick. So sorry!

[Defrauder]

Reading some of this thread I am really struck by how much people go through in life and survive it with such resilience.  Many compassionate, strong, and witty, beautiful people here.  

[Wok Chop]

Mick, I am so sorry you both had to endure so much, and I'm sorry for your loss.

[lookeyloo]

Mick, that is some story.  So sorry.

[NextIteration]

I really do believe that people can, at least smetimes, choose when to go. I don't remember how much I posted back in June when my father-in-law passed away, but I think I did mention it..

 

I firmly believe this.  When the hospice nurse called me Saturday morning, she told me that my mom had been up most of the night grasping her bed rail, struggling for breath and had even said "it's so hard to die".  When I got there, it was clear she was mostly gone, but I didn't really know how much longer it would be, days? weeks?  Met with her hospice team at 9:30 and they said that she was well into the process, so I called everyone that might want to come say goodbye that I could think of, my spouse raced home to get my son, I texted my daughter to call me ASAP, I called my cousins (Mom was the last matriarch of our extended family), my sister ran home to get her kids.  The chaplain arrived just before everyone arrived back and said a prayer of letting go and then everyone started piling in.  You could say "Mommy, It's ME" or "Auntie, it's ME" and she open her eyes and acknowledge you but she was beyond speaking.  My daughter called and we put the phone up to her ear so she could say goodbye as well.  My mom died with everyone in the room, and the chaplain still out in the parking lot.  She waited for everyone that needed to, to get there to say goodbye and then just quietly left.   My grandmother did much the same, even waiting for people to fly in, and went the next morning.

 

I think the opposite is true as well, that some people want to be alone, my therapist and I were talking about these two extremes yesterday - and I made an inappropriate crack comparing this to the away animals prefer to pass - they try to get away.  We laughed, and then I cried.  Sigh.  Guess it will be like this for awhile.

 

I am worried about my daughter, but thankfully she'll be home in two weeks so we can talk this through.  She is in a very prestigious (well known national dance company repertoire) piece for her fall faculty concert this week and next and I just couldn't let her miss the opportunity by having her race home, not knowing when or if Mom was going to pass.  The flip side is that I knew that dancing would be the best way for her to express her emotions.  I hope I made the right decision.

 

Last weekend: My husband seems to have contracted food poisoning from a local business. 

 

I have been chatting with someone on Twitter for four years or so now. We've never met. He was thrilled to tell his Twitter friends that his wife is pregnant with their first child a few months back. He posted the other day that the baby was not gaining weight as she should and his wife is now in the hospital. They're going to try to keep the baby inside for as long as possible. (She's 24 weeks and less than a pound now.) The baby actually gained weight over the weekend, and we're hoping for more positive news. My heart is breaking for them.

 

Healing thoughts for your husband, and prayers for the wee one.

 

(((Micks)))

Edited November 11, 2015 by NextIteration

[Barb23]

My grandmother passed 11 years ago. We were extremely close. Our personalities were exactly alike. I almost think we were kindred spirits. Last year, on the 10 year anniversary of her death, my mom checks the mail and in her mailbox was something addressed to my grandmother. My grandmother never lived with my mom and I, and had a completely different address. My Mom was perturbed to say the least. I honestly wonder if that was my grandmother saying hello.

Shortly after my grandmother died, I was laying in bed sobbing and wishing I could speak to grandmother again. It's 5 am. I can't sleep, but all I want to do is talk to my grandmother. Suddenly the phone rings. I hear my Mom answer it but I can't make out what's being said . I fall asleep and wake up later on.

I come downstairs and my Mom is so very annoyed. She tells me that someone called very early this morning but wouldn't reply when my mom picked up the phone. She was really miffed about it.

Another instance where I wonder if my grandmother was saying hello.

I love these kind of stories & smile when I read them. Something similar happened after my father-in-law died. He died near Christmas & my MIL had already decorated the house. She had a lot of music box type decorations & they would start playing randomly out of the blue. She firmly believes that it was him, telling her he was fine & things would be OK.

My aunt was away visiting my grandmother when my uncle died unexpectedly. He was on a strict no cholesterol diet at the time & never ate eggs. When my aunt came home, she found egg shells in the trash can. She figured he knew something was up & even possibly knew he was going to die, so he said The Hell with it & ate the eggs.

Has anyone else heard of this -- When a person is bad off & ready to die, he dreams about a family member who has already died? Like that person is saying it's Ok to let go. My mom believes in this & it happened when my grandmother (her mother) died as well as my dad. I was there when my dad woke up in the hospital & said he dreamed of his mother. He died a few days later.

[Defrauder]

I firmly believe this.  When the hospice nurse called me Saturday morning, she told me that my mom had been up most of the night grasping her bed rail, struggling for breath and had even said "it's so hard to die".  When I got there, it was clear she was mostly gone, but I didn't really know how much longer it would be, days? weeks?  Met with her hospice team at 9:30 and they said that she was well into the process, so I called everyone that might want to come say goodbye that I could think of, my spouse raced home to get my son, I texted my daughter to call me ASAP, I called my cousins (Mom was the last matriarch of our extended family), my sister ran home to get her kids.  The chaplain arrived just before everyone arrived back and said a prayer of letting go and then everyone started piling in.  You could say "Mommy, It's ME" or "Auntie, it's ME" and she open her eyes and acknowledge you but she was beyond speaking.  My daughter called and we put the phone up to her ear so she could say goodbye as well.  My mom died with everyone in the room, and the chaplain still out in the parking lot.  She waited for everyone that needed to, to get there to say goodbye and then just quietly left.   My grandmother did much the same, even waiting for people to fly in, and went the next morning.

 

I think the opposite is true as well, that some people want to be alone, my therapist and I were talking about these two extremes yesterday - and I made an inappropriate crack comparing this to the away animals prefer to pass - they try to get away.  We laughed, and then I cried.  Sigh.  Guess it will be like this for awhile.

 

I am worried about my daughter, but thankfully she'll be home in two weeks so we can talk this through.  She is in a very prestigious (well known national dance company repertoire) piece for her fall faculty concert this week and next and I just couldn't let her miss the opportunity by having her race home, not knowing when or if Mom was going to pass.  The flip side is that I knew that dancing would be the best way for her to express her emotions.  I hope I made the right decision.

Condolences Nextlteration. Sending warm and comforting thoughts your way.  I am glad you have your family near you during this time. All the best to you.

[frenchtoast]

I'm confused.  The baby was born on Nov. 5th at 6:54 PM after 48 hours of labor yet Jessa's Nov. 4th birthday pics of her and Jordyn were taken on Nov. 4th? While she was in labor?  Why are you sharing an ice cream with Jordyn when you're in labor?

When I was in early labor with my second, I went out to dinner with hubby and our 3 year old. We knew we had time before things got real serious. Many of the programs I went to prior to birth strongly urged staying home during early labor. So, we ate, got son to bed, called our family member to stay the night and then called the hospital. I gave birth in the early morning and hubby was able to get home before son was awawake. It all worked out really well. I will say that my water didn't break--she was born, as the OB put it, behind the veil. So the sac ruptured when she was being delivered. (The doc and nurses kept asking, and they tried to rupture the membranes, but she was already too far down by that point and they couldn't OB poking with the big hook, "There's something hard there." Yeah, her head!)

NextIteration, FWIW, I think it was the right decision to encourage your daughter to stay and participate in the performance. It's something she loves, and she's surrounded (I assume) by people who will support her as well. I would imagine her grandmother would have wanted her to continue. 

[Defrauder]

When I was in early labor with my second, I went out to dinner with hubby and our 3 year old. We knew we had time before things got real serious. Many of the programs I went to prior to birth strongly urged staying home during early labor. So, we ate, got son to bed, called our family member to stay the night and then called the hospital. I gave birth in the early morning and hubby was able to get home before son was awawake. It all worked out really well. I will say that my water didn't break--she was born, as the OB put it, behind the veil. So the sac ruptured when she was being delivered. (The doc and nurses kept asking, and they tried to rupture the membranes, but she was already too far down by that point and they couldn't OB poking with the big hook, "There's something hard there." Yeah, her head!)

 

Yes I understand there is usually time to spare between the first contractions and the actual birth however Jessa's case she was in labor for 48 hours and the birth was on Nov. 5th at 6:54 which means when she went out for her birthday lunch on the afternoon of Nov.4th she was hitting close to the 24 hour mark already.  So  especially with a first, knowing it's probably going to be large, I don't get the going out to lunch 24 hours into it.  With my first delivery the minute the contractions started in the middle of the night I wanted to get to the hospital, and actually I could have waited a few hours, but didn't know how much time I had for sure.

[frenchtoast]

Ahh, I misunderstood. Yeah, but then, she wasn't in really good care. Way back when, when midwives were pretty much the only option, they had loads of experience and passed down that knowledge. Nowadays, a good midwife with not only experience but current medical knowledge, is a great thing. But I don't think Jessa was getting that. And I think she was operating under the idea that it's ok to go out during early labor. Which, yeah, but that's for a few hours, not 24. And...I had been seeing my OB on the regular, I knew how things were progressing. And it was my second.

[lookeyloo]

I love these kind of stories & smile when I read them. Something similar happened after my father-in-law died. He died near Christmas & my MIL had already decorated the house. She had a lot of music box type decorations & they would start playing randomly out of the blue. She firmly believes that it was him, telling her he was fine & things would be OK.

My aunt was away visiting my grandmother when my uncle died unexpectedly. He was on a strict no cholesterol diet at the time & never ate eggs. When my aunt came home, she found egg shells in the trash can. She figured he knew something was up & even possibly knew he was going to die, so he said The Hell with it & ate the eggs.

Has anyone else heard of this -- When a person is bad off & ready to die, he dreams about a family member who has already died? Like that person is saying it's Ok to let go. My mom believes in this & it happened when my grandmother (her mother) died as well as my dad. I was there when my dad woke up in the hospital & said he dreamed of his mother. He died a few days later.

I know that when my grandma died my cousin was sitting with her. My grandma was in her 90s and hadn't been responsive for a few days. One night my grandma sat straight up and exclaimed "grandpa's name" clearly. Like she was seeing him. And she laid back down and very shortly thereafter she passed. My reliable cousin witness's this

[emma675]

Got the pathology back on my neck lump--pseudocyst with both fluid and solid materials inside, all benign. It would not have gone away on its own, so it's good that we've got it out. What's weird is that these types usually show up in the pancreas or adrenals, not typically in the neck. I go back to my ENT next week and I've got a lot of questions, lol!

 

And I've had no water since about 3pm yesterday. The city decided I needed a new water meter and right after they replaced it, I mysteriously developed a leak in my front yard. Of course, according to the city, this is a total coincidence and I'm responsible for fixing it. They turned off the water yesterday without telling me because the water was leaking from the yard into the street. The plumber came out this morning, figured out it's the sprinklers, turned the sprinkler main valve off and turned the water back on. Now I'm waiting for the sprinkler repair guy. Between this and surgery, it's a freaking expensive month!

[Lemur]

Got the pathology back on my neck lump--pseudocyst with both fluid and solid materials inside, all benign. It would not have gone away on its own, so it's good that we've got it out. What's weird is that these types usually show up in the pancreas or adrenals, not typically in the neck. I go back to my ENT next week and I've got a lot of questions, lol!

Good news!  My sister had one of those about ten years back.  We named it Gertie.  Gertie was in her neck, right under her jaw line.

[zenme]

I love these kind of stories & smile when I read them. Something similar happened after my father-in-law died. He died near Christmas & my MIL had already decorated the house. She had a lot of music box type decorations & they would start playing randomly out of the blue. She firmly believes that it was him, telling her he was fine & things would be OK.

 

That is freaky.  My sister in law has/had 4 kids, 2 of whom were 18 months and 8 months when the 18 month old baby boy died.  He had a hand-me-down electronic toy that never played music.  My SIL says the toy worked, but the music button never did.  Right after the baby boy died, the music began to play when the 8 month old would play with the toy.  When my SIL was telling me of this weird phenomenon  she was also saying that she thought it was the baby boy.  All of a sudden the toy's music began to play randomly.  No one was near the toy, and it was just sitting off in a corner.  That was freaky too!

[Absolom]

I think either the Duggars or People or both do not know how to calculate the length of labor.  They seemed to count Jill's from when her water broke, but that isn't an accurate way to go.  Perhaps they did the same with Jessa. 

 

With my second the doctor told me it was OK to go eat lunch even though my water had broken as I wasn't in active labor yet.  They counted my labor as about 3 hours on the hospital forms even though my water had been broken for many hours longer than that. 

[emma675]

 

Good news!  My sister had one of those about ten years back.  We named it Gertie.  Gertie was in her neck, right under her jaw line.

Lol! We called mine "the bean". It was about the size of a large lima bean.

[MarysWetBar]

From my years working hospice, I can absolutely confirm that those near the end see,sense and also talk to loved ones that passed before them. It is actually so common place that you don't even question it. You will go in the room and they are chattering away and there is noone there with them. Also, as to whether they slip away with no fanfare or have all family with them. .we noticed a trend of sorts at my hospice. Men, as a rule will wait and hold on forever for that son in Australia or daughter from China to arrive for a goodbye. Men seem to like the whole family there to comfort and honour them and their "grand finale". Women are sneakier ..lol

The mother in them never goes away even if the "kids" are 75!

I witnessed so many women at the end tell their kids to run out and eat or go home for a shower. .then quietly and calmly pass away. Its like they don't want to cause a bother or a fuss and don't want their children upset. Momma to the end.

Edited November 11, 2015 by MarysWetBar

[Satchels of gold]

Well our documentary was filmed and I think it went really well. I hoped we showed my daughter is still very connected to the homeland and proud of her native country. I know the interviewer in particular really took a liking to my daughter and talked to her for a long time after filming ended about visiting the country ( which we will be doing next year) and offered her assistance with any visa issues we might have. I don't know if it will influence any policy makers but we did our best.

All your stories of loved ones passing just make my heart hurt. I have experienced it myself four years ago with a parent and I still can't bring myself to talk about it. wishing you all peace and healing.

[Defrauder]

Well our documentary was filmed and I think it went really well. I hoped we showed my daughter is still very connected to the homeland and proud of her native country. I know the interviewer in particular really took a liking to my daughter and talked to her for a long time after filming ended about visiting the country ( which we will be doing next year) and offered her assistance with any visa issues we might have. I don't know if it will influence any policy makers but we did our best.

All your stories of loved ones passing just make my heart hurt. I have experienced it myself four years ago with a parent and I still can't bring myself to talk about it. wishing you all peace and healing.

Congratulations on your documentary!  Glad it went so well.  That is quite an achievement for you as a parent and for your daughter and others interested in adopting and children needing loving homes such as yours.  Nice.  

[Love2dance]

My husband would not die.   But there was no "up" left for him, much as he wanted it.  God, I miss him.

MICKS PICKS, I am so very sorry for your loss and all you both had to go through. Your post is heartbreaking. May your memories comfort you.

[BOOgen3]

My mother-in-law did just that. She had been in and out of the hospital and a rehab facility for months. She would come close to death and then rally. We, as well as her daughter and son-in-law, had been going back and forth from CT to Delaware for nearly a year during her final illnesses. The last time we went to see her, assuming she would have another rally, we never even said what would have been our final good byes. As we left her room she looked at me and asked me to keep taking such good care of her son(!). A few weeks later her middle son and his wife, who had not bothered to come see her in several YEARS, finally came up to see her. She chatted briefly with them and told them and her husband that she needed to sleep and to go get lunch. Not a half hour into their lunch, they got the call that she had taken the euphemistic "turn for the worse." She passed from this world alone on her own terms. She had said her good byes and just went. A very private person to the very end.

[SomePity1066]

From my years working hospice, I can absolutely confirm that those near the end see,sense and also talk to loved ones that passed before them. It is actually so common place that you don't even question it. You will go in the room and they are chattering away and there is noone there with them. Also, as to whether they slip away with no fanfare or have all family with them. .we noticed a trend of sorts at my hospice. Men, as a rule will wait and hold on forever for that son in Australia or daughter from China to arrive for a goodbye. Men seem to like the whole family there to comfort and honour them and their "grand finale". Women are sneakier ..lol

The mother in them never goes away even if the "kids" are 75!

I witnessed so many women at the end tell their kids to run out and eat or go home for a shower. .then quietly and calmly pass away. Its like they don't want to cause a bother or a fuss and don't want their children upset. Momma to the end.

You're freaking me out, man ! This has happened to me twice - I always had a feeling about it and you've just confirmed what I thought. Thank you for putting a kind, funny spin on what I'd suspected for years...

 

Sneaky, sneaky women in my family  ;)

[BrianJ62]

I guess I've run the gamut on death and dying, I lost my mom and dad in 06 and 11, it was powerful to be by their bedside as they passed. When I was a paramedic I got to be with strangers when they passed for many reasons, some in somewhat pleasant situations, and some in horrible situations.

[neural-plasticity]

My husband's grandfather (with whom I had gotten pretty close with over the years) recently passed away. He was 89 and played golf up until the last few months. Last October his doctor took him off treatment for cancer because none of it was working, and he was assigned hospice care. He was very into lineage and family, so last Christmas he asked my husband to make a slideshow for his funeral that he could watch and approve. He was a pastor (one of the most open-minded and wise pastors I'd ever met, so I wish I could've talked to him more about some interesting views he had) and had also written his whole funeral service out before he passed away. Although it was nice the day of because you could feel his presence, it just wasn't the same. He didn't look the same. He had stopped eating and basically lost his senses the last month or so. I experienced the same thing with my grandparents when I was younger and it was really traumatizing, so I didn't handle it very well this time. Death is one of my biggest fears for some reason. I've told my parents over and over again that I hope I die before they do because I can't imagine living in a world where they're dying/dead.

 

I also decided that my funeral is going to be much different. I'm going to have anyone who wants to get together get together. Sing one song if they feel so obliged then shoot my ashes up into the sky in a firework. Then I request they eat all my favorite foods: sloppy joe, mac n cheese, pasta, etc.

 

My week has been pretty crazy - my friend found a kitten last Wednesday running around downtown that she rescued. We gave it to a girl in our cohort that wanted a kitten and she kind of freaked out and backed out after having it for less than a week so now he's at my house until someone can take him home. He's so sweet, playful, cuddly, all those great things people should look for in cats. It's devastating that he can't find a home. I'd keep him in a heartbeat but I already have a cat who's a little over a year old and she rules the house. She's not too excited about the baby. My husband would probably divorce me, too. He originally said no to our first cat until he kind of was forced to say okay, and he loves her now, but he's not ready for that to happen again. 

[BrianJ62]

That made me realize that I hope to die alone. As a young kid, I didn't want a birthday party because I hated the idea of everyone looking at me, and although I grew out of that extreme shyness? I'm still a loner.

I'm similar in a lot ways especially birthdays. Since 1982 I haven't liked my birthdate, 3 disasters have happened on 7/17: Skywalk Collapse in Kansas City; TWA flight 800; and the shoot down of the Malaysian Airliner

[Love2dance]

That made me realize that I hope to die alone. As a young kid, I didn't want a birthday party because I hated the idea of everyone looking at me, and although I grew out of that extreme shyness? I'm still a loner.

I'm similar in a lot ways especially birthdays. Since 1982 I haven't liked my birthdate, 3 disasters have happened on 7/17: Skywalk Collapse in Kansas City; TWA flight 800; and the shoot down of the Malaysian Airliner

Awww, Brian, pick a new date that would make you happy and celebrate your special day then....any way you like. (That is what two people I know who have 9/11 birthdays do.)

[NextIteration]

I'm similar in a lot ways especially birthdays. Since 1982 I haven't liked my birthdate, 3 disasters have happened on 7/17: Skywalk Collapse in Kansas City; TWA flight 800; and the shoot down of the Malaysian Airliner

 

Aw.  I always felt so bad for the little kids my daughter's age with 9/11 birthdays, she had a few friends with that birthday (even her boyfriend now). 

[Jenniferbug]

Thanks Muffyn. My cousin Michael passed away a few years ago and had spent some time living in Hawaii. He was cremated, and there was talk of scattering a portion of his ashes in Hawaii but I'm not sure that ever happened. Just wondered if we had a six degrees of separation thing going on :-)

[BrianJ62]

I'm similar in a lot ways especially birthdays. Since 1982 I haven't liked my birthdate, 3 disasters have happened on 7/17: Skywalk Collapse in Kansas City; TWA flight 800; and the shoot down of the Malaysian Airliner

Awww, Brian, pick a new date that would make you happy and celebrate your special day then....any way you like. (That is what two people I know who have 9/11 birthdays do.)

Ty for the advice.

[Missy Vixen]

I'm similar in a lot ways especially birthdays. Since 1982 I haven't liked my birthdate, 3 disasters have happened on 7/17: Skywalk Collapse in Kansas City; TWA flight 800; and the shoot down of the Malaysian Airliner

My mom's birthday was July 17th, too. I was supposed to be her birthday present. Of course I'm stubborn: My birthday is July 28th. ;-)

[BitterApple]

Will we be allowed to discuss Counting On here, or will there have to be a new forum set up?

I would rather keep both shows together and discuss it here.

I would as well, that way we don't have to bounce around between forums. Maybe the mods will keep it in the 19K&C forum but start a new thread.

I was thinking about lazy slacker Bin and how much he reminds me of my sister's neighbor's husband. The wife works fifty hours a week and hubby is a stay at home dad, even though they only have ONE child who is eight and in school all day. The girl doesn't have special needs or any other condition that warrants a parent being available at a moment's notice. The husband isn't disabled because my sister sees him up on the roof and puttering about his yard. Our hometown has tons of businesses where he could work part time and still be home to meet the school bus. I think I just don't understand guys who are perfectly comfortable living off wives/in-laws and make no attempts to support their families. To each his own, I guess, but a Duggar-style husband wouldn't last two seconds with me.

[Jenniferbug]

Bitter Apple, I have a coworker like that. She works her butt off at two jobs to try to make ends meet while her boyfriend is a stay at home father to their daughter who is in 2nd grade. His mother lives with them and is also unemployed. Neither is disabled or in any way unable to work. And he has the gall to go out every weekend with his friends (spending the money she earns) because he "never gets a break". I would understand if it was once in a while, but it's EVERY weekend, usually Friday and Saturday night. She also has to come home and make dinner for all of them each night, or else they just eat chips and junk.

I couldn't live that way. It definitely makes me appreciate my husband!

[emma675]

 

That made me realize that I hope to die alone. As a young kid, I didn't want a birthday party because I hated the idea of everyone looking at me, and although I grew out of that extreme shyness? I'm still a loner.

Suz at Large, come sit by me. I hate being the center of attention and am extremely awesome about deflecting attention/the conversation away from myself. I'm happiest being the listener of the group.

 

 

I'm similar in a lot ways especially birthdays. Since 1982 I haven't liked my birthdate, 3 disasters have happened on 7/17: Skywalk Collapse in Kansas City; TWA flight 800; and the shoot down of the Malaysian Airliner

Try sharing a birthday with Tom Cruise. That's a disaster. (Total sarcasm, of course.)

[ChocolateAddict]

At work we have a tradition where the birthday person gets sent out on a job and while they are out doing the bins or whatever, we all get the party hats (which we reuse for every birthday, lol) and the cake out.  Then we "surprise" them and sing.  

I had honestly thought that everyone had forgotten since it was a Friday and my birthday was a Sunday.  I went bright, bright, bright red and all but stared at my feet. Everyone commented that they had never seen me so red before (thanks guys!).  I just hate the birthday song because everyone is looking/singing at you and eughhhh, it's so embarrassing!! What are you supposed to do during the birthday song???? Ditto the fact that I'm not usually shy but compliments make me blush and go all awkward.  

[Jynnan tonnix]

This all makes me consider moving my birthday as well. I was due sometime around March 4, but was born Jan 2, which is a really anoying time for a birthday as everyone is just taking a deep breath and bidding the whole holiday season goodbye.

 

Maybe I should just go right to my due date instead. If one goes by days of conception, I'm really a good two months younger than my official birthday.  At 56, I'll take anything I can get!

[Chicklet]

Oh wow, my husband thinks I'm making an excuse about dying from tripping over a dog, but this is exactly why I won't get another dog. That isn't just a FB meme lol, that's my real life.

Well obviously not dying ..since I'm typing. You all get my drift. I'll go to bed now.

[Missy Vixen]

The Holy Child has a name: Spurgeon Elliott Seewald. I wish I was joking.

[kalamac]

I would as well, that way we don't have to bounce around between forums. Maybe the mods will keep it in the 19K&C forum but start a new thread.

I was thinking about lazy slacker Bin and how much he reminds me of my sister's neighbor's husband. The wife works fifty hours a week and hubby is a stay at home dad, even though they only have ONE child who is eight and in school all day. The girl doesn't have special needs or any other condition that warrants a parent being available at a moment's notice. The husband isn't disabled because my sister sees him up on the roof and puttering about his yard. Our hometown has tons of businesses where he could work part time and still be home to meet the school bus. I think I just don't understand guys who are perfectly comfortable living off wives/in-laws and make no attempts to support their families. To each his own, I guess, but a Duggar-style husband wouldn't last two seconds with me.

I have a cousin like this. She's a SAHM to an intelligent 14 year old, who gets herself to and from school on the bus, and is perfectly capable of being alone for a few hours after school, but cousin will not a get a job, even though she always expects her husband to buy them the newest things, because she's a Stay at home Mother, and I don't understand how important that is, because I don't have kids. I wonder what her excuse is going to be when Belinda moves out. She's just lazy.

 

edited because a comma is not a full stop.

Edited November 12, 2015 by kalamac

[Sew Sumi]

The Holy Child has a name: Spurgeon Elliott Seewald. I wish I was joking.

I wouldn't even do this to an animal. And if I did, you guys could feel free to put me out of my misery. 

[Wellfleet]

Aw.  I always felt so bad for the little kids my daughter's age with 9/11 birthdays, she had a few friends with that birthday (even her boyfriend now). 

 

One of the victims in the Gabby Giffords shooting in Arizona a few years back was a little girl who was born on 9/11 - the actual day in 2001. And she ends up being killed by a whackjob gunman 9 or 10 years later - wow. The stars were certainly misaligned for her, this time around. Poor little kid...

My mom's birthday was July 17th, too. I was supposed to be her birthday present. Of course I'm stubborn: My birthday is July 28th. ;-)

 

July 28th - you and my heroine - Jacqueline Kennedy.

[Micks Picks]

I want to thank you all for the kind words for my husband who did not want to go.  During the next year and a half, I was ill, spent over a month in the hospital, bad recuperation, then my border collie, part of heart, died, and the house burned down.  I bet he didn't care for the fact that his house burned.  But when it was rebuilt and a couple of months after I moved back in, I know he was here checking it out.  Late one night I heard the new refrigerator, totally different from the one we had, anyway I heard the doors and drawers opening and closing.  You know that sucking sound they make, this one has french doors, plus middle drawer and lower freezer drawer and sub freezer.  So he had a lot of exploring to do.  I hope he has the border collie with him.  My Aussie got up and walked down the hallway looking and listening like dogs do.  I smiled.

Edited November 12, 2015 by Micks Picks

[frenchtoast]

This all makes me consider moving my birthday as well. I was due sometime around March 4, but was born Jan 2, which is a really anoying time for a birthday as everyone is just taking a deep breath and bidding the whole holiday season goodbye.

 

Maybe I should just go right to my due date instead. If one goes by days of conception, I'm really a good two months younger than my official birthday.  At 56, I'll take anything I can get!

 

Ha! My stepdad's birthday is Jan 4 and a good friend of mine is Jan 2. We had a January birthday celebration for my stepdad, my grandpa (Jan 14) and another family friend in January. And included my birthday, Feb 1. I like my birthday, despite the bad weather. It was close enough to the holidays that if I didn't get something for Christmas I might get it for birthday. And now, as an adult where it's not a big deal, my birthday is around the Superbowl, so it's a lot of fun now.

Thanks! 

 

After I posted that statement about hoping to "die alone," I realized it may sound more dramatic than I meant. I don't want to be all abandoned and ignored, just that I think that I'd like the actual moment of passing to be private. 

 

OTOH, to quote a meme I saw on FB recently, I'll probably die by tripping over the dog and choking on a spoonful of frosting. So much for privacy - and dignity. Hee!

Hee! We just got two greyhounds and man are they good at tripping us up.

[Happyfatchick]

Spurgeon and Elliott?  To show us all how intelligent Mr. Seewald (the younger) truly is.  What a statement.  He's a philosopher in hiding, obviously.  I practiced my children's names over and over and over before we settled on them, just to make sure they rolled off the tongue easily.  Spurgeon Seewald.  Oh my.  You know, if I were determined to name a baby after people at the top of the Christian foodchain (because as far as I can tell, the ONLY reason to use "Spurgeon" is to announce other people that his parents know who Spurgeon IS), they could have used "Graham".  Graham is a relatively normal name and rolls right out.  Spurgeon.  Honestly.  Ugh.  [Am I alone in thinking Spurgeon sounds like a character on Sponge Bob?]

 

I was named for my 2 grandmothers.  I am so THANKFUL one of them had a common, useable name.  The other one...not so much.  And MY family (including me) has a habit of using middle names as the permanent name.  Of course, the sad first name was first for me.  Roll call on the first day of school was a nightmare until Jr. High, when I got smart enough to get in class beforehand and beg the teacher to call me by the name we used.   I was so MORTIFIED by my name until I was grown and married.  The older I get, the prouder I am.  I wish I hadn't been so embarrassed by it when I was younger.  This must have hurt my mother's feelings.   My grandmother was born in a time when it was a fad (I guess) to name your child something made from alphabet soup.  Her name was Zelma.  Her siblings were:  Izora, Clara Kizzie (Aunt Sister - "Ain't Sistah"), Viola,  John Bivins (Uncle JB), Aunt Sally Emma (pronounced Salemma) and Uncle Bud (can't even recall his real name).

[allonsyalice]

My name, whole name, is actually Swahili. (My silings both have swahili names as well, but they were lucky to get english middle names). When I moved for school, for the past two years, I've gone by Alice becuase my name is such a headache. But now my name is cool. Im so glad I wasn't stuck with Spurgeon.