S09.E06: Jill Says Yes To The Dress

[Portia]

Jim Bob, a hint: if you want to prove how very manly you are on a hiking trip with the young men, stop talking about how "special" everything is.  

Edited September 26, 2014 by Portia

[questionfear]

One thing I don't see, but I could be wrong, of course, is Jim Bob offering Derick a job as his Duggar Family Accountant. Being that he isn't a blood relative, I don't think JB would want Derick to know the actual numbers of what he's worth.

That and if Derrick's specialty is corporate accounting he may not have any interest or knowledge of how to file for JB and crew. Accounting for a multi-billion dollar corporation is very different than filing 19 W-2s. 

[Barb23]

I can only hope that Josiah finds a friend in a really rebellious attendee and they both realize they're 18 and, legally, adults.  Then they just bust outta there and live a truly normal life.  Unfortunately, we know that will never happen...

That would be great! Since it's been shown he's not one of Boob's favorites (to say it nicely) I wonder if Boob & MEchelle would even bother trying to get him to come back home. I noticed on episode where Josiah had his "getting his GED" party, he never looks at Boob when MEchelle is giving her sappy redundant speech. I would think a kid would look at both parents but I'm sure Josiah knows Boob's true feelings for him. I don't blame him at all for giving Boob the silent treatment.

[charmed1]

James seems to be the biggest no fucks giver in that family. I guess all the kids on Jill's buddy squad fall into that category.

[GEML]

One thing I noticed on this episode -- while Anna and the Duggar girls might not be close (not unusual, given that each of them have sisters of their own) I liked how several of the Duggar girls (especially Jill) seemed genuinely excited to be seeing their niece and nephews and when Anna read her note to Jill, I liked how it praised Jill as midwife.  It may be one of the few times she hears from her actual family member that her skills as a professional are really valued and important.  Not just that she's "sweet" and "kind" and "precious" and "puts others first" and all the other scripted lines (which I actually think she is, but those words are tossed around so much that it's hard to tell when they are genuine and when they are simply filler, but Anna's note was truly personal to Jill.  She won't be able to say that to anyone else.  I liked that.

On the flip side, it does seem nearly impossible for Jill to be able to say "I love you" to ANYONE.  It's not just Derrick, it's to her whole family, too.  When someone says "I love you" to her, she never, ever, says it back.  I'm wondering if she'll say it once they are married, or if she's just so afraid of expressing real feelings in words that she never will.

 

[GinnyLee]

I really had thought we would see Jill and Dericks' wedding by episode 2 this season. But it seems they're dragging it out as much as possible. That last episode with them all sitting in a bridal dress shop reading their feelings off of index cards was just ridiculous. Who does that at a bridal shop? Is that normal dress hunting behavior?

[side note: I wouldn't know. I've never been married and I've never been that involved in a wedding party. I was a bridesmaid, once, for my sister-in-law but we didn't go with her to pick out the dress. We did go with her for the last fitting, but otherwise we got no special treatment. Not even at the wedding. My brother and her sat the head table by themselves while all the bridesmaids and grooms had to sit at the tables with the other guests. I got placed with my mother and father. We got no special treatment at all. I'll never be a part of another wedding again. ]

 

Just think: when they're finally done with Jill's wedding then we get to sit through Jessa's!!  Good God! Get me a bottle of rum.

 

As for John-David: He's the biggest p*ssy ever! I thought Jill and Jessa were marrying into Derick's and Ben's family, respectively. I know pronounce you Derick and Ben Duggar. I feel sorry for the girl who gets stuck with John-David. He's got no personality at all. Just a jerk.  

[ghoulina]

I wouldn't know either, GinnyLee. My three younger sisters all got married in the past 3 years (one per year, my mom was exhausted!), but I never went dress shopping with them. They each took mother-of-the-bride, mother-of-the-groom and the maid of honor. But somehow I don't imagine them sitting around giving speeches in the dress shop, that was more reserved for pre-wedding parties and the wedding itself. They probably just needed something to fill the air time. 

[Barb23]

I agree with above poster about is this the norm to be reading off index cards your feelings towards bride. They act like shes going off to war not knowing when they'll see her again. On another blog, someone noted that Jill is getting more like her mother in not saying "Thank You." Her replies are the typical "Awwwww or that was sweet....."

I wish TLC would have condensed this wedding to 3 episodes like Jeremy & Audrey's wedding on Little People Big World. First episode was proposal & events leading up to it. This weeks showed the wedding prep & next weeks is the wedding. Of course they had filler but these episodes seem to flow much better & not be all drawm out.

I read somewhere that next weeks episode shows the bridesmaids shopping for their shoes. Really???? We all thought they just pulled them out of the family closet.

[Absolom]

I wouldn't know either, GinnyLee. My three younger sisters all got married in the past 3 years (one per year, my mom was exhausted!), but I never went dress shopping with them. They each took mother-of-the-bride, mother-of-the-groom and the maid of honor. But somehow I don't imagine them sitting around giving speeches in the dress shop, that was more reserved for pre-wedding parties and the wedding itself. They probably just needed something to fill the air time. 

With all our wedding gown shopping, I've never seen anyone reading from cards or giving speeches at the shops.  That seems another TLC driven moment of ridiculousness.  In our circles, the mother of the groom is not included in wedding gown shopping.  None of my daughters would have appreciated any opinion from them on what we were buying. 

 

[ghoulina]

I read somewhere that next weeks episode shows the bridesmaids shopping for their shoes. Really???? We all thought they just pulled them out of the family closet.

 

Maybe they're going to the local thrift store, where Jill can find some lovely white flip-flops. Buy used and save the difference!

[mimionthebeach]

And after that, won't there be the episode where MEchelle 'shops' for a mother-of-the-bride dress in Kelly Bates' closet? I'm looking forward that one.

[GEML]

I went shopping with my groom for the dress, but that's us.

The cards might be all a part of "the princess experience." The thing is, I felt like it made Jill rather uncomfortable doing it. Like most things made to make people feel special, many of them often only make a subset of people feel rather awkward.

[Westiepeach]

"... Jill is getting more like her mother in not saying "Thank You." Her replies are the typical "Awwwww or that was sweet....."

 

Jill may not know any better. That is all she has seen for her whole life. She may think that is the norm.

[floridamom]

Did anyone notice those ratty old shoes that Jill wore to try on wedding gowns? They looked dirty and smelly, too. YUCK!! They just don't have any sense..Once again, improper footwear.

[TobyBelle]

Did Jill back talk on Jessa in the beginning of the episode when they were packing for the trip? She was asking Jess if she could borrow from her stash, and Jessa replied she didn't have a stash and only packed one outfit for each day. When she turned around to walk away, it sounded like Jill retorted, "Well, look at you..."

[floridamom]

I thought those stupid speeches from everyone detracted from finding a wedding dress. It's not easy to get in and out of those things, especially with all the Duggar modesty adjustments covering them, you could hardly see the dress itself. I don't think the owners of the shop really needed to waste their time with the Jill Duggar Appreciation Ceremony. It only kept them at work later that day. Save the speeches for the bridal shower or the rehearsal dinner.

[Missy Vixen]

I have no problem telling the people I love that I do but I would have been horribly embarrassed to blurt out truly personal and private feelings and memories in front of a TV camera. Is NOTHING private (or sacred) in this family? That exhibition would have been much more meaningful if it had happened off-camera and in a less public venue. Then again, we're talking about people who had no problem with footage of their daughter-in-law giving birth on a toilet. They're exhibitionists.

 

Ahhh, John David. I'm sure the ladies are lining up as we speak!

[BitterApple]

Did Jill back talk on Jessa in the beginning of the episode when they were packing for the trip? She was asking Jess if she could borrow from her stash, and Jessa replied she didn't have a stash and only packed one outfit for each day. When she turned around to walk away, it sounded like Jill retorted, "Well, look at you..."

She did say something to her, but I can't remember what it was. I'll have to go back and re-watch.

 

I'm really curious to know what was in Joy's speech that made her so adamant about it not being read aloud.

[TobyBelle]

@BitterApple Her response sounded really snarky. And to add, I couldn't read the expression that crossed her face when Jessa said what she said.

[starfire]

I thought Boob was so rude and disrespectful when Michelle and the older daughters had left for DC and he announced to his mom that he was going camping with the guys and "you're in charge". He didn't ask her if she minded, or if she had plans, etc. Just informed her that he was leaving and that she was running the show.

[heebiejeebie]

Either John David is hoping to be cast as Randy in the big screen adaptation of My Name is Earl or....

 

I loved the statement about the two young men having to prove they are Duggars.  First of all they aren't and never will be even once married to a Duggar.  The statement was so typically pompously egotistical but also only serves to show how insecure the J-Boobs is in his little attempt to pretend he is all things in every way.  Only to have the trip show how pathetic the Duggars are at setting the Duggar bar for others to match or exceed.  He really wants to pretend that smarter stronger better looking and more charismatic men than he ever was and likely any of the lumps that sloughed off his wife will ever be aspire to follow and belong to him.  Thank goodness J-Boobs was born so dim.  Any real wit coupled with his over inflated sense of self and he could be a danger to society.  Like being in Congress or in the upper echelons of the NCAA or the NFL.

 

While the meathead that is poised to marry the dishfaced one that thinks she is every Gotthard's unmentionable squirm underneath the zipper doesn't seem too well equipped in the brain dept he does have a body that makes J-Boobs and the older J-Boobettes look like soft sticks of butter draped in the best JC Penney has to offer in the men's casual dress rack.  While  I always seethe a little every time I see yet another run of pimping out the family van of uteruses in one form or another, I do appreciate that even if on the one hand it validates J-Boobs' self importance, watching young men who are everything he claims to have been and be and clearly was not and never will be is good fun in a quiet way.  Derrick has to be the death of a thousand cuts as J-Boobs has to smile and on his little realm of grifter reality tv show introduce the real deal as it were the world and have to stand next to him and be compared.  And found not just wanting.  But even more ridiculous. 

[Barb23]

Did anyone notice those ratty old shoes that Jill wore to try on wedding gowns? They looked dirty and smelly, too. YUCK!! They just don't have any sense..Once again, improper footwear.

I noticed the shoes too along with the rest of her outfit. She had on just a button-downed preppy shirt with skirt & looked like docksiders. I'm really surprised she didn't have flip-flops on so I guess she thought the docksiders were "dressing up." The rest of the girls looked nicer like they may have put some thought in their outfits. I guess Jill is just following Michelle in not caring what she wears when she goes somewhere special. I liked the dress she had on when her & Derick were on cover of People announcing the blessing. I guess it came from the People wardrobe dept.

Did Jill ever show what shoes she wore at the wedding? Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll see it on this coming weeks episode when the bridesmaids shop for their sandals. I'm sure they were nothing like the stilettos the Bates' girls wore.

[Fuzzysox]

My girls think the Duggar girls are starting to go to Forever 21 because some of the clothes they wear are from there. I especially see Jana dressing more modern.

 

As for Jill no one has seen her wedding shoes have they? I hear she wore white flip-flops?? While I highly doubt it I'd love to see the pictures.

[azzalane]

When I watched this on the air date, Ben and Jessa did a talking heads about how miserable being apart for days and days would be that had inappropriately times grins and plenty of eyerolls from Jessa. I wanted my mom to see, but it was in either rerun we saw. I found it on YouTube just after the scene should have played to double check. Is this common? Why would they cut that part?

[mythoughtis]

==In our circles, the mother of the groom is not included in wedding gown shopping.  None of my daughters would have appreciated any opinion from them on what we were buying.==

 

I only have sons, no daughters. I would love to see a daughter in law to be try on a wedding dress, because its the only chance I will ever have to be included.  If Jill had tried on a dress in her own area instead of flying her entire bridal party half-way across the country, maybe Cathy (who also has only sons) could have been included. 

 

My older son has been engaged twice, and is now married.  The first fiancée deliberately excluded me from the dress shopping. Later she told my son that we lived 3 hours away and that she would never bring any potential children to our house because that was just too far.  In other words, we weren't good enough for her.  Second fiancee included no one in her dress shopping, not even her Mom.   She, however, will contact me quite often now just to chat, and I know she cares about me.   She is well aware that all I ask of her is to treat my son well.

 

Bringing this back to the Duggars, Jill needs to remember that she needs to build a good rapport with her MIL, because Derick is extremely close to his Mom, and probably won't take kindly to her being excluded on a regular basis. 

[Mrsjumbo]

Getting back to the dress, I loved the first dress Jill tried on. It had a fuller skirt & tight waist & it really made her waist look tiny! The one she picked made her look a little heavy around the middle (which she is not).

[Almost 3000]

Derrick's mom may have been sick or just not feeling up to a trip and filming. But as a thought and I mentioned it up thread that I didn't think it was the same dress she wore for her wedding so maybe the whole thing was just for the show and storyline anyway.

[WTFFF]

 

Why would they cut that part?

 

It's incredibly common for these episodes to be cut down, especially if a particular moment has received criticism.  That moment in particular, no idea, but it wouldn't be a first.

 

Where are you finding uncut episodes on youtube?  PM me if you could?  There are some episodes I really want to find in their "complete" form but no luck yet...

[NikSac]

I honestly had no idea what a big deal the dress shopping is to some. I bought mine off of eBay (gasp, used even!) without my Mom, or Mom in law, matron of honor, etc. I found out later that bothered a lot of my husband's family because I "excluded" them from the dress shopping, but I seriously had no clue it was a big deal for anyone at the time. I felt really bad, but then again I also pretty much hate clothes shopping, so I was glad to find one I liked without it being a big ordeal.  I can't even imagine being in Jill's situation with an army of people wanting to give their opinions, before she even includes her husband-to-be's family. Especially if she barely knows them, because of the courting rules.

Edited September 28, 2014 by NikSac

[Micks Picks]

I must be NicSac's sister.  Twin actually.  I've always been cranky about shopping.  If it sort of fits, it will do.  I really thought the big hubbub was nuts until I saw some of the yes to the dress shows and realized this is common.  Or traditional.  Now I am so much smarter.  I know what a mermaid dress is. I know what rouching is (ok, but I can't spell it).  I know most of them are made strapless simply because it's easier for the designer.  Most of the strapless ones look stupid, like the front of the dress arrives a minute before the bride does.  

 

Once I was in a dressing room and heard a mom and daughter, about 15 or 16, arguing about clothes.  Wow!   They should have just had a smack down and got it over with.

[Hpmec]

If a remake of Deliverance is ever in the cards, John David is a shoe-in. Derick just seemed amused by the outdoor dog and pony show. Bin looked like he was eager to stay in Boob's good graces and would have walked across hot coals had JB demanded it. Memo to Boob: Your sons-in-law will never be Duggars any more than you will ever be a Ruark, so cut the crap.

As for the dress shop, good God, Michelle, your daughter is getting the princess treatment at a bridal salon. You can't do better than an ugly ass shirt and shapeless denim skirt? You are an embarrassment.

I have to admit Marcus is really cute. Good thing they left Josie home. She'd have been all over the dresses with sticky hands and dirty feet. Yuck.

[NikSac]

I must be NicSac's sister.  Twin actually.  I've always been cranky about shopping.  If it sort of fits, it will do.  I really thought the big hubbub was nuts until I saw some of the yes to the dress shows and realized this is common.  Or traditional.  Now I am so much smarter.  I know what a mermaid dress is. I know what rouching is (ok, but I can't spell it).  I know most of them are made strapless simply because it's easier for the designer.  Most of the strapless ones look stupid, like the front of the dress arrives a minute before the bride does.  

 

Once I was in a dressing room and heard a mom and daughter, about 15 or 16, arguing about clothes.  Wow!   They should have just had a smack down and got it over with.

 

Lol... hi sis! (I know you're not actually my sis but I can see you relate!).  I couldn't believe how many people were pissed about missing dress shopping when I got married - I thought I was sparing them because who WANTS to go shopping?  I wonder how it is for Jill. Was it mostly a quick filmed thing for the show?  I hope so for her sake. She seems like a caring girl who would include the in-laws if she knew/thought it was important to them.

[dorcastrilling]

I also bought my dress off of eBay (20 year renewal, married in our living room with no hub-bub). The renewal was more a beleif in the future as my husband had recently been diagnosed with lung cancer. I pretty much saw an almost Edwardian style vintage McClintock, fell in love and hit the button. In my younger days I was a part of the whole dress shopping thing more times than I like to recall, and it was always a clusterF with people stomping all over what the bride wanted. I think just handling this on your own is probably the way to go when there are people who are going to be pushing for what they want over what you want. 

[Fuzzysox]

I'v been thinking about hte lady who owns the dress shop, Christy. I'm thinking once she met Anna she made sure to get close to her knowing that it could lead to future business. They really don't seem like "I have real friends" kinda people.

[Barb23]

NikSac & Mickpiciks: can I be the 3rd sister? I agree with both of you. What is all the hoo-haa about shopping for a gown. When I looked for my gown many many years ago just my mom & sister went. I think I went to about 5 stores until I found "the dress". Didn't Jill make a comment about having to find the dress in this store. What if she didn't like any of them as was my case? Did she have to settle on a dress at this shop because I'm sure it was comped & it was Anna's friend? I don't think she looked too thrilled when she found "the dress." It was like she was still making up her mind that this was it. For me, I knew I had found my dress as soon as I had it on. I liked jill's first dress better but it was hard to tell the design of the dresses with that stupid modesty thing. Whichever the two of you said it, I love your description of the strapless dresses that arrive before the bride.

[riverblue22]

I wasn't even going to wear a wedding dress, but then a pitcher of sangria and a $99 sample dress on the clearance rack intervened.  It fit perfectly--it was a sign!  I would have jumped out the window before I went for one of those SYTTD type circus events!  If that really was the dress Jill wore, I'd say she had it pretty easy.

[fliptopbox]

I'm not married, but I know my shopping habits. So for something like my wedding dress I would probably prefer to do that by myself. It's not to insult or exclude anyone but I feel like regarding clothes my opinion is the only one I care about. If I like it then I will be happy. I don't need reassurance that something looks good. I also would not want to potentially get into an argument about something like a dress, because I know that would sour the experience and ruin it for me. The only way I might change my mind is if someone else offered to pay for the dress. Then I'd want to include them. But if it's my money I'm flying solo.

[bigskygirl]

I'v been thinking about hte lady who owns the dress shop, Christy. I'm thinking once she met Anna she made sure to get close to her knowing that it could lead to future business. They really don't seem like "I have real friends" kinda people.

The woman who owns the dress shop is married to a congressman. I guess they share the same political views the Duggars have. To bad this was not mention on the show.

[Hpmec]

I'm with Fliptopbox on the dress shopping. When I bought a dress back in 1973, I went by myself and bought a dress right off the rack. I didn't need or want an entourage. I have a daughter who is in college. If and when she's ready to marry, I expect that she'll take me along on the dress hunt simply because she's incredibly indecisive and always seeking out a second opinion. But it's a safe bet she'll leave her friends home because their taste is not her taste and she's smart enough to know it.

[springtime]

In choosing wedding dresses (and baby names!)- Don't ask/ get input from others- Go with what you want!

[BitterApple]

Throw me on top of the pile who doesn't see wedding dress shopping as something that requires an entourage. Weddings are stressful enough to plan without having to listen to ten different people's opinions on what you should or shouldn't be wearing. 

 

Regarding the bridal shop, did someone say that Jill's "princess experience" would normally cost $500?! For what? All they did was put some curls and bobby pins in her hair and do minimal makeup. The Duggars don't drink so it's not like the store was busting out $200 bottles of champagne. That seems way overpriced considering you could do your own hair and makeup before going to the store.

[Fuzzysox]

Yes I know that Christy's husband is a congressman. Makes them as "friends" more special don't you think?? lol Anna and Boob Jr. are making sure that they always have another job lined up in case this one pans out on ole Josh by finding new friends. I think that is the way politics is played at least in Chicago. Most people in politics have ass kissing down to science.

[bigskygirl]

Don't forget his campaigning for certain candidates when he was younger makes him a political expert. I am surprise more candidates are not seeking his expertise. *sarcasm inserted*

[GEML]

Again, Josh's expertise is being able to go into a certain segment of the religious right and do political persuasion and fundraising. Contrary to popular belief, a lot of the super-Fundy don't vote Republican, or at least not reliably. Many vote erratically or sometimes for third parties. These are not the same as the evangelical religious right. Josh will likely be able to find political work for quite some time as long as his ability to fundraise keeps up.

[fliptopbox]

Moving this original post to a different thread.

Edited September 28, 2014 by fliptopbox

[bigskygirl]

Josh's political persuasion must not be working too well since the majority or all of the candidates he and the rest of the family campaign for lose.

 

Josh is allowed to work for a group as long as he is allowed to spread Gothard's beliefs. He has been brainwashed since day one to believe he can make a difference *snort* and get more people to join God's army to get rid of the heathens out there.

[Absolom]

One bridal shop we went to offered close to the princess experience free.  It was part of their shopping experience.  I agree with keeping the entourage to the minimum.  It should be about the bride and what dress she wants and what makes her comfortable. 

 

Jill probably got by with the minimum entourage that she could muster and at least on film they all seemed very supportive.  Too often I've seen a peripheral person such as a grandma or future in-law keep running her mouth and trying to shut down every dress the bride likes.

Edited September 28, 2014 by Absolom

[fliptopbox]

Jill probably got by with the minimum entourage that she could muster and at least on film they all seemed very supportive.  Too often I've seen a peripheral person such as a grandma or future in-law keep running her mouth and trying to shut down every dress the bride likes.

That would be the exact reason why I like to shop alone. I would not be nice to whoever would try to shut down anything I liked. It's MY wedding, asshole. If I want to wear a tutu and a tiara I will, dammit.

[truthtalk2014]

That would be the exact reason why I like to shop alone. I would not be nice to whoever would try to shut down anything I liked. It's MY wedding, asshole. If I want to wear a tutu and a tiara I will, dammit.

I'm with everyone about the bullshit with picking out the dress.  I hate shopping- much more than I used to- but still.  I would HATE that crap.  When I married my first husband more than 25 years ago, I ordered a few dresses from JCPenny (You can send back anyone you don't like after trying them on at the store).  That sounds so funny to me now.  I did take my roommate with me to wait outside the dressing room to look at any of the gowns I decided I might like - but ultimately, what I said went.  

 

When I married my second husband (OH SNAP -I just realized why the first marriage failed- I had big puffy sleeves and it meant I was doomed), I was much more mature and we were getting married on a beach in Hawaii.  I didn't want something that looked like a wedding dress.  I knew a designer I liked- ordered online from Neiman that was sent to my home and it was perfect.  

 

How much did the clan of chickens spend on plane tickets to DC?  I'm sure if they really are about saving money, they could have something really pretty in Arkansas or Ebay vintage that would have looked just as well.  

 

Just saying!  

Edited September 28, 2014 by truthtalk2014

[GEML]

I agree with Absolom. The "princess" treatment is closing the shop and doing a one-on-one experience. That might require paying someone overtime, and would still require extra hours before and after to find gowns and then put them away. I'm also betting you can try on more gowns than in a traditional two hour appointment, since the boutique is assured of payment regardless.