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S14.E05: It's Not a Shore Thing


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13 hours ago, Airy2021 said:

 

I think she's far worse than Haley. I mean, at least Haley ATTEMPTED to get to know her husband. It was obvious she didn't feel chemistry but she tried. Alyssa just has a horrible attitude and her standards are crazily high. The girl has no chin and a beer belly and she's judging Chris's body??? Really???? Cmon. Get a grip! Ugh!!

She does overestimates her own appeal. She shouldn't have been selected. Still they could have picked someone with better body and straight teeth. She must have made it known to them and they just ignored it. He's not a terrible looking guy...more or less average.

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13 hours ago, Ms.C. said:

Is anybody else sort of aghast at Alyssa?  She’s beyond rude.  Reminds me of Haley.  

Alyssa does not remind me of Haley because I don't recall Haley being rude.  She actually slept with Jacob and then for whatever reason pulled back.  The problem with Haley was that she didn't speak up, and as a result, allowed Jacob to control the narrative.  If there is any comparison to be made with Alyssa, I believe it should be her fellow Bostonian, Molly.  Unlike Alyssa however, Molly would wait until the cameras were gone to say mean things to Jonathan.  Which was why he resorted to taping her on his cell.  

I don't believe Jasmina and Steve are into their partners.  Jasmina appears to be gaslighting the heck out of Michael and poor Noi seems to be all in, while Steve is like, "pump your brakes."

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What did Chris do to Alyssa? He keeps breathing through a face that doesn't match her shopping list/jr. high diary entry. 

Production used the list to get the desired drama.

Chris ends up with a likely client bump and perhaps some Boston-area dates from women who find him attractive. Getting slammed across social media gets Alyssa some good therapy, if she's lucky. On the Afterparty, Katina claimed that it's unfortunate Alyssa is getting such a bad edit because she has a nice side--so note that Katina has bought her victimhood and will likely show us some of her own before the end of this hot mess.

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9 hours ago, ByTor said:

That sounds like a workout in & of itself 😂

My ex-husband loves scuba diving, I'm terrified of being under water. So when he would go, I'd lay on the beach or go shopping. I didn't run off by myself & pout. Her "waahhhh I have nothing to do" was ridiculous.

Especially for someone who claimed she wanted to lay on a beach!  I wouldn't scuba either, but I'd snorkel across the top of the water, or sun myself on the boat or beach.  I don't even know what "I feel uncomfortable swimming with him" means!  Ditto Noi and Steve - say, "I'm not really into camping, but I'll give it a try as long as we stay at a place that has toilets and showers!"

7 hours ago, essexjan said:

Wow, the producers really hate Alyssa, don't they! She must have pissed them off royally to get such a bad edit. 

Maybe she was "literally the nicest person ever" to them 😆

 

2 hours ago, kristen111 said:

I’m not crazy about these long black eyelashes on everyone.  Are they on forever? Or what.

They're like fake nails - you have to go get them touched up every 3-4 weeks.

 

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59 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

I think he has her number already and is starting to check out little by little.  He knows he will have to fight her battles for her for life.  She is uncontrollable and a hazard .  He doesn’t need that nonsense.

When she started throwing insults at him, you could see him thinking "what have I gotten myself into?"

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Oh boy. We got TWO "falling in loves." Is that a record? Katina was right to be skeptical. Too bad she's falling for it. Noi should slow down. They should wait until they have a few challenges & disagreements before thinking about that "falling in love" crap. It's a HONEYMOON!!! Just say you're deliriously happy with how things are going! That's more reasonable. Women just want to fall in love, huh? Gimme a break! Focus on building your marriage! Olaj is laying it on so thick, I'm extra skeptical now! He needs to chill with all that, especially if he's not going to do it consistently. It's like he is so caught up in this fantasy he's made for himself. It seemed like Katina cut him off during his speech. No biggie. He's easy breezy with his perfect wife. 😂

Edited by Lindz
  • Love 3

I still think Lindsey & Mark have a good chance of remaining a couple. Mark meant well but he didn't word smith it worth a damn. He could have said he wants to slow down and get to know her apart from the 'rush' of just being married and having a camera crew around and other couples.

She will have to tame that nasty personality and I don't know if she can. She is just one feather touch away from exploding and throwing folks under the bus. When people say they are 'triggered' they're admitting they have no control of themselves when someone says something. This is an internal problem she needs to learn to control herself. She needs to admit she is the problem and commit to doing something about it. Not sure if at 34 she can.

Personally I think she's a hottie.

 

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Whelp, Alyssa just gets worse every week. Hilarious that her mom is like, STFU and do the show you signed up for, stop calling me to complain. I feel bad for Chris, and I don't mind a dad bod myself but not sure that pasty, hairy, big nipple man boobs all cinched up with the SNUBA gear was a GREAT look on camera....perhaps a rash guard?

Noi needs to stop begging for reassurance.  It's been three days honey.  It's so unattractive. Steven is on the fence, and you're not helping.

Jasmina and Mike are...yikes.  They both have walls a mile high and can't communicate.  They just talk at each other, without trying to understand the other's point of view.  I do think Mike has more self-awareness and ability to work on his shit than she does.

Katina I can't help but like. She shouldn't have poked at Lindsey but I would find it hard to resist also 😆 I think she's having fun still but O's antics are wearing thin--he's too dumb to see that though.  I predict she will be over it soon. That story about the mom and daughter--what the absolute fuck. Hi, I'm Olajuwon and did you know I like to fuck?!? I have fucked so many women, you would not believe how many women I have fucked! Let me tell you about them all!

Mark is killing me. He  is SO scared. You can see the wheels slowly turning as he realizes what he has done😂  Hope all that sex was worth it! There's no escape!  And then him trying to say he doesn't want to have sex anymore without actually saying that he doesn't want to have sex anymore...awesome.

All the pasty folks need a whole lot more SPF.

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Ooh I didn't like Olaj in the gym! He said, "Stop laughing, get real." He said, "Stop giving up, there's no more of that, for real. Smile. Smile. Enjoy it." Why no fun? Why so controlling? Was that the test? I think he was being himself & seeing if she reacted "correctly." She said she didn't like the exercise, she didn't say she had a problem with how he was talking to her. I think she failed. 😅

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Alyssa won't be direct & Chris keeps letting her get away with it every time he asks. Not being direct is a dealbreaker of mine. He should say he's done since she won't say she is. I wonder if the show schedules their activities & the couple has to be together. If so, Chris doesn't look as desperate. 😅 But Michael & Meka were apart a while on their honeymoon. 🤔 Alyssa is way too moody. Sometimes she's with the program with her husband & acting normal, sometimes she's not & acting a fool. She kinda said it's over on the beach by saying she wanted to "come off as united... because the experts didn't do this right." The psychic excuse is new. Every man with an eagle/lion tattoo should get rid of it RIGHT NOW!!! 😂😂

Edited by Lindz
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8 minutes ago, cinsays said:

why would he want to win over this sour, unpleasant woman???

Because he signed up and endured this process believing there was chance of finding a true mate. There are people who accept the terms married at first sight while others its marriage upon approval. Hard to believe by the time this picture was taken the marriage was over. Probably the fastest one in MAFS.

Wedding.JPG

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36 minutes ago, spunky said:

When she started throwing insults at him, you could see him thinking "what have I gotten myself into?"

Mark looked terrified during that whole exchange. Even before she got angry he looked scared.

1 hour ago, Adeejay said:

Alyssa does not remind me of Haley because I don't recall Haley being rude. 

She was pretty rude. Even Virginia was like “don’t mock him, be nice” when they went on the couples trip and she went to Virginia looking for an ally re: how much of an asshole she thought Jake was. She wasn’t nearly as bad as Alyssa, but towards the end she’d stopped being nice to him.

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15 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Alyssa is just the strangest one I've ever seen on this show.  Yikes.  Boy mom has her number!  This is probably mom's last chance for a grandbaby.  Sigh...not happening.

If Alyssa has a baby, she won’t be the baby anymore.  Taken from the movie Overboard, with Goldi Hawn and Kurt Russel.  Lol.

 

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16 hours ago, princelina said:

'm as shocked as anyone to hear me say this, but I was on her side in tonight's fight.  Don't have sex, plan a romantic dinner and choose that moment to cool things down.  I like Mark and dislike Lindsay, but he was wrong.  Did he think she would agree with him, eat dinner, go back to the room and have sex, and then happily lay in bed listening to him fart?

Nailed it! I had no idea what he was talking about. After having sex, he planned a romantic dinner just to tell her he didn't want to be "lovey dovey"? Not great MTS. Rough episode for Linds - first getting chewed out by Katina in front of all the girls, then this. And speaking of Katina - I agreed with what she said about Lindsey, but geez, let it go. If the offended person says let it go, you need to get over it.

Man, this group as a whole sucks. The only ones who seem ready for this are Steve, Noi, Chris and MTS, and two of these people were put with assholes.

I initially thought Mike and Jasmina were going to be a great couple, but nope. He is miserable to be around. Overthinking indeed. He is a fun killer - why can't he just live in the moment and have a good time with his new hot wife? They are going to talk everything to death - another Olivia/Brett or Jake/Hayley but without a total smartass or weirdo to be entertaining. She absolutely did not owe him an apology for what happened on the boat, so her non-apology was perfectly fine IMO. I wouldn't have even given him that.

I wouldn't trust Olajuwon farther than I could chuck that medicine ball he was barking at Katina about. No way in hell he stays faithful to this woman. They might make it past D-Day, but I will be shocked if they last much past that.....

Alyssa sucks. She is currently fighting her way to the top of the worst wife board. Chris has shown himself to be perfectly nice. His only crime is a dad bod and janky teeth, yet she acts like she was paired with an actual troll. She need to be called out for this bullshit narrative of "we are both disappointed because we didn't get what we wanted".  He was perfectly happy with her until she turned into a bitch. Her behavior is immature, spoiled, entitled, judgemental and rude. Her saying "I've been being nice" is nothing short of delusional. If she thinks this is nice, I would hate to see her when she's being mean. Looks like next week she doubles down on the "I'm not having fun" tantrum. Once again, awesome job "experts"!

Noi and Steve are adorable. I really, really need these two to make it. If they don't, it might be the nail in the coffin for me with this show.

  • Love 13
19 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

She was pretty rude. Even Virginia was like “don’t mock him, be nice” when they went on the couples trip and she went to Virginia looking for an ally re: how much of an asshole she thought Jake was. 

I missed that scene. Considering Virginia was drunk 80% of the time, that must have been one of her rare lucid moments. Like I said, Haley erred in allowing Jake to control the narrative.  I would have told the world that he is a two-pump chump with a tiny peen.  

Lindsey clearly has her faults, but it was really shitty of Maahk to sleep with her three times earlier in the day, promise her a romantic dinner and then tell her they should take it slow.  I am glad she put his ass on blast, literally.  

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30 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Mark looked terrified during that whole exchange. Even before she got angry he looked scared.

She was pretty rude. Even Virginia was like “don’t mock him, be nice” when they went on the couples trip and she went to Virginia looking for an ally re: how much of an asshole she thought Jake was. She wasn’t nearly as bad as Alyssa, but towards the end she’d stopped being nice to him.

Chuckles just thinking what if Ayssa was saddled with Jake? I think he was built and had straight teeth.

I wonder how'd she feel if roles were reversed and she was hooked up with a very handsome man who didn't think much of her looks? I'm sure she'd be crushed and crying to momma. I don't think she is capable of putting herself in anyone else's shoes.

  • Love 9

Ohhh how I detest those group get together questions. "So have you consummated your marriages yet"? STFU it's nobody's business. 

The "Never Have I Ever" game runs a close second to my detestation limit. They sound like a bunch of friggin high schoolers. I don't care if you cheated 10 years ago or if you had a threesome. I really don't. I want to know what kind a person you are NOW. Trust me, some of the things I did when I was younger I would never, ever do now! 

 

 

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1 minute ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

Chuckles just thinking what if Ayssa was saddled with Jake? I think he was built and had straight teeth.

He was definitely built. I don’t remember his teeth, which means they were probably fine (I notice bad teeth). I don’t think she’d like his personality though - too quirky for her.

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4 hours ago, Lindz said:

He couldn't even explain what he meant! Just talked in circles & said nothing! What a fool! But hey, sex is just sex! That's not fast, fast, fast! 😂 He needed a break, he should've said he was going for a walk later to recharge. That's it. It sounds like he tells the guys one thing & her another. WHY doesn't he want to be "lovey dovey"? Because he doesn't want to make her think they're good?

I believe Mark got hints on how to talk to Lindsay from Zach

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1 hour ago, Lindz said:

Oh boy. We got TWO "falling in loves." Is that a record? Katina was right to be skeptical. Too bad she's falling for it. Noi should slow down. They should wait until they have a few challenges & disagreements before that thinking about that "falling in love" crap. It's a HONEYMOON!!! Olaj is laying it on so thick, I'm extra skeptical now! He needs to chill with all that, especially if he's not going to do it consistently. It's like he is so caught up in this fantasy he's made for himself. It seemed like Katina cut him off during his speech. No biggie. He's easy breezy with his perfect wife. 😂

I've come to realize falling in love is mostly an emotional infatuation drug. Its not what can keep a marriage going through thick and thin (not sex either). It will wear off. You need much better reasons than something ephemeral like falling in love. As people live longer marriages last longer. No one is going to be madly in love with their spouse for 20, 30 maybe even 50 years down the road. Compatibility (digging each other) Attraction (liking each others looks) shared goals and ideals are more reliable indicators. If you fall in love to its a bonus.

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20 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Ohhh how I detest those group get together questions. "So have you consummated your marriages yet"? STFU it's nobody's business. 

The "Never Have I Ever" game runs a close second to my detestation limit. They sound like a bunch of friggin high schoolers. I don't care if you cheated 10 years ago or if you had a threesome. I really don't. I want to know what kind a person you are NOW. Trust me, some of the things I did when I was younger I would never, ever do now! 

 

 

They must talk to someone on the side and say we want you to ask who's consummated the marriage. It comes up early on every episode. It is a private matter and no ones business. If you're going to say give us the details...Did you have oral and anal sex? Did he orgasm too soon? How big is his penis? Is she tight? Did you take a video? On a scale of 1 to 10....

Not too surprising I'm sure most couples today don't think much about the sanctity of a marriage.

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21 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Wowza! You could tell he did not expect her to bring up the farting and clogging the toilet on camera! The look on his face said "Man, I can't believe she just went there". 

Me either. I'm sure he's already privy to some of her habits that she wouldn't want announced to the world. I'm confidant she shits and farts too.

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2 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Alyssa does not remind me of Haley because I don't recall Haley being rude.  She actually slept with Jacob and then for whatever reason pulled back.  The problem with Haley was that she didn't speak up, and as a result, allowed Jacob to control the narrative.  If there is any comparison to be made with Alyssa, I believe it should be her fellow Bostonian, Molly.  Unlike Alyssa however, Molly would wait until the cameras were gone to say mean things to Jonathan.  Which was why he resorted to taping her on his cell.  

I don't believe Jasmina and Steve are into their partners.  Jasmina appears to be gaslighting the heck out of Michael and poor Noi seems to be all in, while Steve is like, "pump your brakes."

I don't agree with your judgment of Steve in that I don't think someone saying maybe we shouldn't be all in with the i love you on day 3 means he's not into her. He's just a sensible human being. 

Edited by Racj82
  • Love 14

For the life of me, I'm wondering what exactly Katina is falling in love with?  Were the men in here life so bad, that he stands out?  I don't see charm.  Or looks.  I guess the body is okay.  Maybe he's a really intelligent guy but I haven't really heard anything that strikes me one way or the other.  I can appreciate the way he handled the LInsday sitch after she poked and prodded him.  But that's about it.

I feel like she is in love with his words -- the "God put us here."  "I'm going to love you like no one else..'"

But I would not ever be able to trust someone who is proud of banging a mom and daughter at the same time and who is ready for a threesome and bringing that all up day 3. 

Edited by Boo Boo
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20 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I didn't see any aggression from Michael. I didn't see anybody cut anybody off. I'm confused. ("Sorry you felt that way" isn't an apology, but I don't know what anybody is supposed to be apologizing for.)

Alyssa's mom sounds like she knows her daughter.

Guarantee you that Alyssa's mom has had a lifetime with her saying "no" and acting appropriately as a mom until Alyssa pouts, stomps her feet, and cries and then mom says "yes" to whatever she's upset about and coddles her.  Her behavior didn't happen in a vaccuum.

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17 hours ago, princelina said:

Yet he managed to have sex with her the same night of her airport antics!

I'm as shocked as anyone to hear me say this, but I was on her side in tonight's fight.  Don't have sex, plan a romantic dinner and choose that moment to cool things down.  I like Mark and dislike Lindsay, but he was wrong.  Did he think she would agree with him, eat dinner, go back to the room and have sex, and then happily lay in bed listening to him fart?

 

Right -- I was about to say the same thing.  

He apparently had sex with her -- wasn't going too fast then -- after having to clean up her messes already.

I did understand her confusion there, as much as she annoys the shit out of me.

I did wonder if both Mark and Steve got the memo from producers to do the "slow down" routine.  Although both Linsday and Noi were talking love waaaaaaaay too quick.

 

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55 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:

But I would not ever be able to trust someone who is proud of banging a mom and daughter at the same time and who is ready for a threesome and bringing that all up day 3. 

As obnoxious and vulgar as O is, he actually didn't have sex with them at the same time. He actually called in to Afterparty to tell all the details. Mother first and about 2 seeks later, the daughter. Apparently when he picked up the mother at the train, the daughter was with him and they both laughed and told him he had passed "the sex test." He said he taught the daughter what he learned from the mother's sex education. All of that wasted time of the other people on the show - and us. I will start recording and then I can FF through anything to do with him.

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Alyssa doesn't realize she's making Chris more sympathetic with each interaction, and especially when she complains to the producers or in her one-on-ones. I'm not even sure she realized she was being filmed for the one shown last night, considering the angle it was shot at. 

I'm trying to remember if we've ever seen a couple where the guy wasn't into the woman and shut things down right away (or at least fairly quickly)? No one is coming to mind but over the years we've seen the reverse several times -- Alyssa and Chris, Haley and Jacob, Jamie and Doug (although she stuck it out), the couple from the first season of Atlanta who's name escapes me (the guy had dark hair and a dark beard). I've probably overlooked some examples on both sides but I think if a man kept commenting on his bride's figure and teeth there would be even more of a negative response. 

Edited to add that this Alyssa / Chris situation dragged on for several days at this point and still not one expert has gotten on a video call with them! Why is she being allowed to behave this way towards him?

Edited by Nancybeth
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2 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I would have told the world that he is a two-pump chump with a tiny peen.  

I believe she did at every turn once the season ended. And that asshole Kevin Frazier encouraged it gleefully.

And none of the participants ever control the narrative - only the evil producers. Despite that, between NecklaceGate and the fact the Hayley is besties with VA says all I need to know about her. She is a mean girl, just not as mean as Alyssa.

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2 hours ago, Lindz said:

Oh Shady editors. From one failed romantic evening to another perfect romantic evening. Seriously Mark, what was romantic about telling Lindsey he wanted to slow down?!?!!! Olaj was too perfect! Still placing her on the bed AND a foot massage! Rose pedals, candles, sweet words. Is he trying to be a Woodrow? 😂

He can try, but Woody didn't "test" his new bride in various ways and didn't talk about his many many sexual exploits ad nauseum in front of the entire group.  Olaj is just a smooth-talking f-boy.  Every cliche in the book.  Reminds me of a used car salesman.  

 

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3 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I missed that scene. Considering Virginia was drunk 80% of the time, that must have been one of her rare lucid moments. Like I said, Haley erred in allowing Jake to control the narrative.  I would have told the world that he is a two-pump chump with a tiny peen.  

Lindsey clearly has her faults, but it was really shitty of Maahk to sleep with her three times earlier in the day, promise her a romantic dinner and then tell her they should take it slow.  I am glad she put his ass on blast, literally.  

I agree!  Three times then let’s slow down!

He was messing with the wrong woman!  She’s bad but also in this situation good with her mouth!

His eyes…I thought he’d fart right there.  Lol

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54 minutes ago, Nancybeth said:

Alyssa doesn't realize she's making Chris more sympathetic with each interaction, and especially when she complains to the producers or in her one-on-ones. I'm not even sure she realized she was being filmed for the one shown last night, considering the angle it was shot at. 

I'm trying to remember if we've ever seen a couple where the guy wasn't into the woman and shut things down right away (or at least fairly quickly)? No one is coming to mind but over the years we've seen the reverse several times -- Alyssa and Chris, Haley and Jacob, Jamie and Doug (although she stuck it out), the couple from the first season of Atlanta who's name escapes me (the guy had dark hair and a dark beard). I've probably overlooked some examples on both sides but I think if a man kept commenting on his bride's figure and teeth there would be even more of a negative response. 

Edited to add that this Alyssa / Chris situation dragged on for several days at this point and still not one expert has gotten on a video call with them! Why is she being allowed to behave this way towards him?

Well, we had Zach and Mindy...Zach wasted no time telling Mindy he was "struggling" with the lack of attraction, and he refused to move into the shared apartment with her. Then there was Luke and Kate...Luke slept with Kate on several occasions and then hid out in the bathroom puking because sex with her repulsed him so much. And Nick who screamed to the camera about never being attracted to Sonia, but who also slept with her, and made her keep it a secret from everyone. Matt told everyone after the season that he was never attracted to Amber but it didn't stop the dirtbag from doing the deed.

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2 hours ago, Lindz said:

Oh Shady editors. From one failed romantic evening to another perfect romantic evening. Seriously Mark, what was romantic about telling Lindsey he wanted to slow down?!?!!! Olaj was too perfect! Still placing her on the bed AND a foot massage! Rose pedals, candles, sweet words. Is he trying to be a Woodrow? 😂

I’ve been watching him and I think he’s auditioning for something!

He really thinks he’s all that!

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4 hours ago, Lindz said:

Alyssa won't be direct & Chris keeps letting her get away with it every time he asks. Not being direct is a dealbreaker of mine. He should say he's done since she won't say she is. I wonder if the show schedules their activities & the couple has to be together. If so, Chris doesn't look as desperate. 😅 But Michael & Meka were apart a while on their honeymoon. 🤔 Alyssa is way too moody. Sometimes she's with the program with her husband & acting normal, sometimes she's not & acting a fool. She kinda said it's over on the beach by saying she wanted to "come of as united... because the experts didn't do this right." The psychic excuse is new. Every man with an eagle tattoo should get rid it RIGHT NOW!!! 😂😂

I would have more respect for Alyssa if she just said to Chris “I have zero attraction to you and this will never work.” But, instead she has to act like she’s the victim of a prank and blame everything on the guy who literally is in just as bad of a situation, if not worse, then her. It’s not gonna work. She needs to just tell him and leave. We don’t need to be subjected to footage of them doing solo activities when we know it’s a waste of time and they aren’t going to work out. It’s like that season with Mindy and Zach. Such a waste of time. He wasn’t into her at all from the start and it dragged on and was like torture to watch. 

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Quote

He apparently had sex with her -- wasn't going too fast then -- after having to clean up her messes already.

Well heck no...men can resist anything except temptation.

I do see it from her side now. The old he got what he wanted and now is having buyers remorse. He should have had a romantic dinner but simply say he wants to take time to know her deeper. It takes two to have moon eyes for each other. She didn't handle it well either. It could have been a time of communication for both. I think they'll make up.

When Chris was asked if he consummated the marriage he should have said that is not even sure he is married.

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