S13.E07: Electile Dysfunction

[njbchlover]

10 hours ago, Avaleigh said:

That "pageant" though. I agree with @BusyOctober that the party was pathetic and this was emphasized by how bored the staff looked as they were standing there watching the event go on. 

I really wish that Eboni could just chill the hell out every so often. She can't even have fun at this silly little pageant party. She has to turn it into this thing where everyone has to listen to how she's more challenged in life than everyone else because of her race. It made me cringe that she had to again go back to the racial well on this one instead of just attempting to have fun like everyone else. It's so odd to me (and maybe ironic) that as a POC viewer I'm supposed to feel representation via Eboni and I find myself frequently cringing during moments like the above. Not every moment needs to be turned into an opportunity to talk about racial issues. 

Annoyed that Luann let Leah "win". Even more annoyed that Leah didn't just skip the pageant and head home to see her grandmother. She would have been doing everyone including the viewers a big favor if she'd opted out of the Hamptons trip. 

I wish the election party had been a little more festive looking. There were no decorations, no amazing looking food, no fun fashion (save maybe Sonja), etc. It was boring as hell, so Ramona wasn't exactly missing out. I like it when the women give their parties a little extra flair. 

I lol'd when Luann said "I used to be a happy drunk with [Sonja]." Also giggled at Sonja stuffing her face as usual. She never misses an opportunity when it comes to free food. 

 

8 hours ago, tvfanatic13 said:

Thank you for this! I am all about racial equality and empowering POC and women in general, but it is all about race, all the time, with Eboni. 

I would love to see Eboni just being "Eboni" - she seems like she could be a fun person, but all this educating the other ladies is bringing her down.  I actually like Eboni when she's not trying to have a teaching moment all the time.  I think she would be much more free to enjoy r herself with the other ladies if Leah wasn't constantly dragging her down.

8 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

I don't know why some of the housewives freaked out that Eboni did spoken word.  I've watched those Miss USA pageants as a kid and don't they all have that element?  "I wish for world peace" or whatever?  They all have to answer questions at some point, right?  Pageants like that were never just about bathing suits and baton twirling so I don't know why everyone got bent out of shape.

I think maybe the other women were just looking to have some fun, without anything heavy and sensitive.  I think maybe they just wanted to laugh, and Eboni's performance did not let them do that.  What Eboni did was not truly a "spoken word" performance-it was more like an essay recitation. I have a relative that is very much a part of the spoken word scene (which is huge in NYC and college campuses around the country) and has won many awards and accolades.  Spoken word is more of a performance piece of poetry with deep emotion.  Spoken word events are emotional - the writers/performers are often expressing their deepest feelings.  

Probably the most popular example of a true spoken word performance would be Amanda Gorman's performance during the Inauguration.

[njbchlover]

4 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I guess I'm the only one who wasn't impressed with Ramona's pushups.  To me, it isn't a pushup unless your chest gets a LOT closer to the floor than hers was.  She was doing little dips, which are MUCH easier than lowering your torso all the way down and getting it back up. 

Either way, it's pretty damn impressive for a woman who is 64 years old to be able to 40 push-ups of any kind, and not break a sweat or appear winded afterward!!   😂

[Ms Blue Jay]

Ramona was also wearing a tight, low cut gown, and heels. 

[geauxaway]

1 hour ago, njbchlover said:

She doesn't have to worry about her arm still waving to someone ten minutes after her hand stops.  

😂😂😂.  Or what my friends and I like to call the “hello and goodbye…at the same time.”

[Rorysmom]

1 hour ago, albarino said:

I'm not sure.  It is a word in the English language with very positive connotations.  As a white person I would not be offended if I were characterized as articulate and I don't consider the word patronizing (BTW, I'm not very articulate).  Eboni does consider it patronizing.  Since we are being honest, I hate the idea that certain words, like articulate, are now considered racist.  Can't keep up to be honest.

Well, as a white person, it doesn't get presented to you in a way that has offensive tendencies. She explained it thoroughly. And it's not "just now" considered racist. Like the other housewives, this is the first time you've heard of it having a racist connection. What you do with it now is up to you, I guess. That's the friendship comfort level thing I mentioned before. 

[Boo Boo]

2 hours ago, malibu said:

What's going on with Leah's boobs in that one talking head where her new additions are fully on display?  They look like they are fused together and almost look like rubber.  Plus her skin looks so pale and pasty and I'm sure she thinks she looks sexy but it's really quite the opposite.  Did her Orthodox rabbi approve of this not-so-modest look?  She has really ruined this show for me.  Goodbye, Leah.  And take your miserable sister with you too.

It's funny b/c conventionally, she's attractive.  And while she looks reasonably fit, I don't think she has that great a body.  There's something very unsexy to me about her.  Nothing to do with her personality, so not being biased.

[albarino]

51 minutes ago, Rorysmom said:

Well, as a white person, it doesn't get presented to you in a way that has offensive tendencies. She explained it thoroughly.

Please excuse my white ignorance.  I think Eboni looked to be offended, so she was.

I believe I explained I was the only female in a 1980 Air Force pilot training class at Reese AFB.  70 other men.  Me.  Only woman.  Articulate is a perfectly acceptable word in the English language. My theory. Not racist.  As a highly educated woman, she should know this. I only have a Masters Degree so I'm probably really stupid.

Articulate isn't a bad word.  Period.

 

[chewycandy]

16 minutes ago, albarino said:

Please excuse my white ignorance.  I think Eboni looked to be offended, so she was.

I believe I explained I was the only female in a 1980 Air Force pilot training class at Reese AFB.  70 other men.  Me.  Only woman.  Articulate is a perfectly acceptable word in the English language. My theory. Not racist.  As a highly educated woman, she should know this. I only have a Masters Degree so I'm probably really stupid.

Articulate isn't a bad word.  Period.

 

It’s a microaggression. Simple. 

[Cosmocrush]

2 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Ramona was also wearing a tight, low cut gown, and heels. 

I can see R wearing this exact outfit at the gym, lol.   After all, men are everywhere; look at Lu - she hooked up with her personal trainer.😉

[hoodooznoodooz]

They could have had so much more fun with the ‘70s theme.

[hoodooznoodooz]

Ramona looks very good in the black spaghetti strap dress intro. Her hair has never looked that pretty before.

Closed-captioning gave me “afrodesiac.” 

[hoodooznoodooz]

I don’t think you can say “steps to the Park- -“

Someone told me that, ‘cause of invalids!

Edited June 17, 2021 by hoodooznoodooz

[Cosmocrush]

42 minutes ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

I don’t think you can say “steps to the Park- -“

Someone told me that, ‘cause of invalids!

LOL Sonja!     That was an interesting conversation because I watch MDL NY and noticed this season the use of "primary bedroom" and "dual bathrooms" etc.  and thought, "That makes so much sense!"  I like it. 

Situations like this and a few weeks ago when Ramona again used the phrase "the help"  always remind me of something I heard on Oprah a hundred years ago:  When we know better, we do better.  I'm a big believer in that and 2020 gave lots of time to to lots of people to educate themselves and know better so that we can all do better.

Edited June 17, 2021 by Cosmocrush

[hoodooznoodooz]

Leah in the fuchsia dress: it looks like she’s wearing a silicone breast form you would wear if you had a double mastectomy. I don’t know if it’s because of the way the light is hitting them. The “skin” looks too perfect. Plus, they are too close together, as another poster wrote. I looked at what you can buy on Amazon.

[Ms Blue Jay]

22 minutes ago, Cosmocrush said:

LOL Sonja!     That was an interesting conversation because I watch MDL NY and noticed this season the use of "primary bedroom" and "dual bathrooms" etc.  and thought, "That makes so much sense!"  I like it. 

It was Ramona, not Sonja.

[Cosmocrush]

2 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

It was Ramona, not Sonja.

You're right, it was Ramona!  I stand corrected.  ☺️

[hoodooznoodooz]

Some exquisite shots of New York.

[hoodooznoodooz]

“Sonja just has the tolerance of a seventh grader.”

[lawrbk]

11 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

It's a shame to see Sonja's treatment of Ramona. Ramona loves Sonja, considers her one of her best friends. I may have a short memory but I don't remember Ramona dragging Sonja behind her back or even to her face. Sonja is a terrible friend and Ramona puts up with her shit.  She treated Tinsley the same way. Jealousy has taken over Sonja. She's jealous of both Ramona and Lu because they didn't piss away their divorce money the way she did and I think she was jealous of Tinsley for the same reason.  

I totally agree. Ramona has her faults but Sonja is no friend and eboni and Leah can shut up. Sonja has been ragging on Ramona at least back to the season Mario and Ramona split. Sonja had to interject HER feelings about her own marriage like there was any similarity. This episode was just more of the same. And she’s starting up with Lu again. She usually ping pongs between Ramona and Lu but since she’s got Leah and Eboni this season she can be nasty to/about both of them. Sonja has some good qualities but loyalty isn’t one of them. 

[CrinkleCutCat]

6 hours ago, geauxaway said:

😂😂😂.  Or what my friends and I like to call the “hello and goodbye…at the same time.”

In Australia they are oft called Bingo Wings… after a certain type of woman whom frequents a bingo hall “Bingo!” 🙋‍♀️

Edited June 17, 2021 by CrinkleCutCat

[lawrbk]

9 hours ago, WhatAmIWatching said:

I 99.9% believe production is pushing it. Idk if you watch rhobh, but Garcelle has been on two seasons and has had a fraction of the same type of conversations. I also wonder if Eboni is trying to make the most of her voice on Bravo? If so, I get it. She may feel some pressure to speak on things while she can. I hope she can have more fun, too. I've seen her have fun when they did Luann's 'trip' -besides the Sonja meltdown dinner- and had fun at Ramona's Tiffany's evening, and she was having fun at the pageant. She might not be willing to let it all hang out like the others do/have, but that's ok! IMO she would seem pretty tame on any of the HW shows.

Yes, some things didn't feel organic at all, unlike this episode's breakfast chat I referenced. They film, what 40+ hours that gets distilled to one episode? I bet there's a lot of material that could be chosen. What's shown is Bravo's choices. I believe this is where some of the inorganic feels are coming from.

The fooling with white women comment didn't bother me, I thought it was funny, but I've heard it a lot over my life. Besides, seeing that she's had to explain things each episode, I get it, LOL.
  Her TH about the emancipation proclamation I found funny, too. To me, Eboni saying that would be like one of the other ladies pointing to their heavily made up face, professionally done hair and fancy outfit saying "Do you know how long this takes?" Plus, aren't most of the women habitually late? I remember Bethenny resorting to preordering food while waiting and waiting for the rest of the cast to show up. 
I'm kinda wondering if cultural differences are at play and getting toss-away comments misconstrued? Please freely correct me if I'm wrong here..

 

Leah is the messiest of messes and not enjoyable to watch for me at all. Between her vocal fry and her hysterics, I can't stand it.

I wonder if part of the difference between Garcelle and Eboni‘s approaches is partly their career fields. Garcelle spoke so well (not articulately!) to Kyle about the damage of saying Garcelle hadn’t paid for the raffle and later when she and crystal were talking about their own experiences and how they don’t have the privilege to not think about race like their white castmates do. Garcelle is in a business where you aren’t necessarily blunt and lecturing (for want of a better word) because you can’t afford to alienate people who could give you a job.  And while she’s not A list, she, like Eileen and Denise, has steadily worked for decades in a business that most don’t make a living at and is especially hard on women. You learn some diplomacy. Eboni is a lawyer. She’s used to being a bit more assertive (not angry!) in getting her points across. She probably has done a lot of debate and court cases and is going to smack people over the head with facts and strong opinions. She’s not looking to sugar coat anything. And she worked at Fox where just about everyone is pretty combative and pushy about getting their views out. She’s not being aggressive but she’s blunt and plain spoken and not using Garcelle‘s softer touch either. I also don’t think she’s talking about it seemingly to the detriment of anything else she can bring. Bravo wants to show how inclusive they are (especially given their firings because of racism) and that’s what they’re showing. She may have talked about her past (like we saw about her dad) or her careers in law and broadcasting or her interests. They’re just not focusing on it. 

Edited June 17, 2021 by lawrbk

[Hiyo]

 

“Garcellehas been on two seasons and has had a fraction of the same type of conversations.“

That might be due to the fact that maybe, despite all of their other many, many faults, the BH HWs overall are not as clueless or as ignorant as their NYC counterparts.

Or as you said, the showrunners are choosing to have these types of discussions be featured on one show more prominently than the other.

 

[swankie]

On 6/12/2021 at 3:32 PM, Feech said:

Thank God Ramona gave the party a pass.

They would have roasted her alive.

Sonja did it anyway.  She literally carved Ramona a new a-hole while she wasn't there.  I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall to witness Ramona's reaction to this episode! 

[swankie]

11 hours ago, Hiyo said:

I’d say Eboni got it right when she said Lu called her an angry black woman. 

I agree also.  Leah had just gone on a complete rampage like a screaming banshee calling them all hoes, and not once did Luanne call her angry.  The fact is, Lu was the one angry all because Eboni said that she had more education than anyone in the room.  So if Eboni took license and added "black woman" to Luanne's angry comment, then Luanne took license interpreting Eboni's more education comment as "I'm smarter than anyone here".  

[swankie]

11 hours ago, albarino said:

I feel like I am watching Cancel Carl on TicToc.  I think most people go along to get along; I was not aware calling a black person "articulate" was a microagression when the correct term is "eloquent."  In asking Siri about the words, Keng Lee (Asian?) considers them synonymous but with subtleties.  He believes articulate implies forcefulness and eloquent implies stylishness.  I don't know.  But I do think that we are reaching far to create conflict.  Nice job, Bravo.

To understand why Heather's articulate comment was insulting to Eboni, add the unsaid "for a black woman" to it.  That's a sore spot with me also.  I've actually been told I am pretty for a black girl.  No kidding!  Needless to say, my response wasn't as genteel as Eboni's.  Racism comes in many forms, not all comes from hatred.  Sometimes it comes from ignorance.  The fact that Eboni is trying to educate these women has been a long time coming. 

Edited June 17, 2021 by swankie
Rewording for clarity.

[Kdawg82]

10 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

guess I'm the only one who wasn't impressed with Ramona's pushups.  To me, it isn't a pushup unless your chest gets a LOT closer to the floor than hers was.  She was doing little dips, which are MUCH easier than lowering your torso all the way down and getting it back up. 

I said the same out loud to my husband. Anyone can do a zillion INcorrect pushups. But doing 10 CORRECTLY is a different story. Get your chest closer to the ground and don't flare your arms out. Keep elbows tight to the body unless you're doing "wide push-ups" to target a different muscle group. 

I DO give Ramona credit for being her age & getting down on the ground and trying that, in an evening gown. That's the fun-loving spirit I'd like to see more of from all the women, from people in general & on this show.

[Avaleigh]

34 minutes ago, swankie said:

To understand why Heather's articulate comment was insulting to Eboni, add the unsaid "for a black woman" to it.  That's a sore spot with me also.  I've actually been told I am pretty for a black girl.  No kidding!  Needless to say, my response wasn't as genteel as Eboni's.  Racism comes in many forms, not all comes from hatred.  Sometimes it comes from ignorance.  The fact that Eboni is trying to educate these women has been a long time coming. 

I get all of this. I'm biracial and I regularly have people who want to know "where I'm from". People phrase it in all sorts of ways. Where are you from, where are your parents from, "What's your nationality?" (With that last one I always reply "I'm American" and typically the person is like 'Oh, you know what I mean, what's your background?' or something along those lines. (People almost never bluntly ask 'what race are you?' It's almost like it's taboo to phrase it that way.) On many occasions, since I was a kid, some people, upon confirming that I am black, have said, 'Oh, I wasn't sure because you're so pretty.' or (in disbelief) 'But you're so pretty!' Years ago when I was in my late teens I once had a nice, extremely elderly woman (I tend cut elderly people some slack) gently ask me if I was a "negro" and then proceeded to compliment me on my appearance. Not one of these people has ever seemed to have had a clue as to how any of this comes across. They genuinely think they're being complimentary without seeing how this could feel, at best, like a backhanded compliment. 

I think where I'm different with Eboni is that my tendency is to let things go. I'm not really interested in taking people to task over things that can be perceived (or sometimes definitely are) microaggressions. I typically go by a person's intentions and as long as their intentions are good then I just let stuff like "articulate" roll off of my back. Seriously, if I got angry or visibly annoyed every time someone told me I'm articulate then I'd end up spending too much time in a negative headspace and life is too short for that. For me, I just turn these things into funny moments that I can laugh about later with people who do get me. 

I'm certainly not interested in lecturing or educating people who don't quite get it right. Heather was obviously clueless and doesn't know nearly as much as she thinks she does, but her intentions were good, so I'm not mad at her about something that's pretty minor at the end of the day.

Also, as others have pointed out, I have to keep in mind that Eboni is on a show where they're paying her to be outspoken and potentially controversial, so maybe that's where a lot of these situations are coming from. Maybe in real life she's more laid back and less hard on people who aren't necessarily on the same page as she is when it comes to the topic of race.

[OdinO.]

4 hours ago, swankie said:

Sonja did it anyway.  She literally carved Ramona a new a-hole while she wasn't there.  I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall to witness Ramona's reaction to this episode! 

She is probably used to it by now.

[OdinO.]

13 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I guess I'm the only one who wasn't impressed with Ramona's pushups.  To me, it isn't a pushup unless your chest gets a LOT closer to the floor than hers was.  She was doing little dips, which are MUCH easier than lowering your torso all the way down and getting it back up. 

To be fair, you are a statistical outlier. I was impressed, Ramona. Good job!

[Mar]

8 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

I don’t think you can say “steps to the Park- -“

Someone told me that, ‘cause of invalids!

This reminded me of Ramona‘s problems with pronunciation and words. I was watching one of her never ending Instagram videos of herself entertaining. She loves to show what a wonderful hostess she is and shows her table settings, flower arrangements, food, etc. All of this is done with a somewhat affected accent which she apparently considers upper class. During this particular video, she was showing her wine refrigerator and pointing out her favorite type of wine, which has a French name. She said,“ I don’t know how to “pronunciate”this.”

 

 

[Mar]

8 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Leah in the fuchsia dress: it looks like she’s wearing a silicone breast form you would wear if you had a double mastectomy. I don’t know if it’s because of the way the light is hitting them. The “skin” looks too perfect. Plus, they are too close together, as another poster wrote. I looked at what you can buy on Amazon.

She recently posted this photo on Instagram. Read what she wrote about it. Somehow I think it was more than just a “lift”.

[Baltimore Betty]

Why didn't Lu sing as her talent for that awful, embarrassing 70's prom beauty contest instead of her baton twirl?

I wish Leah would take a seat, she is brow beating us with the topic of racism when she herself does not have a dime in that dollar...I feel like she is egging on Eboni to be hyper focused on making it all about racism when it does not have to be.

Side note, about 12 years ago I bought a car for my son and before we actually bought it the owner volunteered to take it to a local garage for a safety check and to see if there were any issues that might change our mind about the purchase, it was put on the lift while we stood there, the mechanic mentioned it might need new brakes sooner rather than later, etc...I tried to negotiate a lower price to which the car seller told me, "don't try and Jew me down," I was shocked, speechless...this man was black and stood there like he said nothing wrong, (I am Jewish), he had no idea that what he said was offensive, unbelievable.  

After I bought the car I did mention that that phrase was not a nice thing to say he shrugged his shoulders, my question is if the shoe was on the other foot, my making a not so nice comment about his race or religion what have you it would have been explosive, would Leah have gone nuts on him for insulting me or she just focused on Eboni and her racism experiences?

Sadly there have been other experiences like the car purchase, I met a woman who told me about a local business that burned down because you know, "Jewish lightning," she had know idea what religion I am and had no shame in blurting that gem out.

Does Leah understand racism is not limited to African American experiences, I want her outraged by all racism or she can shut the fuck up. Also, Leah can just shut the fuck up.  I doubt she has had any bias experiences she can relate to.

 

[Boo Boo]

15 hours ago, Mar said:

I was really hoping that Ramona would do her infamous runway walk when she walked onto the stage

 

It's moments like these that make me love Ramona forever.

10 minutes ago, Mar said:

She recently posted this photo on Instagram. Read what she wrote about it. Somehow I think it was more than just a “lift”.

Holy cow, you get a huge scar like that from a lift?  Aren't our surgeons much better these days?

[TheCouchPotato]

Ugh, Leah is so unbearable. I cannot stand this woman and all of her over the top drama. She needs to get herself committed for being a narc. It’s double the repulse when her thirsty sister pops on the screen. I’ll be honest and judgmental - if I was this close to my grandmother as she claims to be, I sure as hell wouldn’t be partying it up for a show. I wouldn’t care how many family members were at the hospital; I’d take a seat and wait so I could see her. She’s so full of BS. 

[lasu]

12 hours ago, albarino said:

Please excuse my white ignorance.  I think Eboni looked to be offended, so she was.

I believe I explained I was the only female in a 1980 Air Force pilot training class at Reese AFB.  70 other men.  Me.  Only woman.  Articulate is a perfectly acceptable word in the English language. My theory. Not racist.  As a highly educated woman, she should know this. I only have a Masters Degree so I'm probably really stupid.

Articulate isn't a bad word.  Period.

I don't understand why when someone of color says, "this is something that bothers me and here is why," the response is no,  you're wrong and I will not change. If you didn't know before, so be it.  But if after viewing these two episodes, you (the general you) call a Black person "articulate" then how can you not feel aggressive doing that?  What does someone gain by purposely using words they know upset someone else?  Why would you not want to compliment someone in a way that is meaningful to that person?

My best friend is Catholic and "god damn" bothers her.  As a non-religious person, I don't think it's an offensive phrase, but I still don't say it around her.  I don't imagine we would stay friends if I told her she was wrong to feel the way she does and I insisted on my right to say "god damn" as much as I want.

It almost reads like a lot of people are saying, "I don't mind that a Black person was cast on the show, but I wish she would stop talking so much about being Black!"  I think Eboni is very cognizant of being the first Black person cast on NY, and she probably is much less likely to let things go knowing she is on camera than she might be in real life.  She may feel a personal responsibility not to let things go, and I don't think she should have to make either the cast or the viewers comfortable at her own expense.

I was surprised no one knew the "Be Aggressive" cheer.  We did that when I was a Pop Warner cheerleader a million years ago, and my entire life, I have not spelled that word without saying it -  "B-e-a-g-g-r-e-s-s-i-v-e!"

I would judge Leah more harshly if she truly had just been at a Hampton vacation party.  But in reality, this was a work commitment.  I'm not saying she didn't actually prefer to be in the Hamptons; I have no idea.  But the fact that no one on the cast was judgmental of her staying over leaving makes me think it was viewed as a work obligation.  And I don't even disagree with Eboni, that there is something to be said of your last memory being of when your loved one was healthy.  I have two close family members who in retrospect, I kinda wish I hadn't seen on their deathbeds.  They were completely unaware of my presence, so it didn't add anything of value to them (that would change everything in my opinion), and it's a sad memory to have in my head.  I don't particularly like Leah, so I'm not invested in defending her though.

[Ms Blue Jay]

10 minutes ago, lasu said:

My best friend is Catholic and "god damn" bothers her.  As a non-religious person, I don't think it's an offensive phrase, but I still don't say it around her.  I don't imagine we would stay friends if I told her she was wrong to feel the way she does and I insisted on my right to say "god damn" as much as I want.

That's so interesting.  I have a similar experience.  I swear normally, but I have a friend of 20 years who never does so I'm more conscious of my speech around her.  She's never complained, but I just keep it in mind to be considerate.  

Edited June 17, 2021 by Ms Blue Jay

[Hiyo]

Quote

Ramona is not a racist.

She treats everyone the same.

Like shit.

You can be an asshole to everyone and still be a racist. The two are not mutually exclusive.

Quote

Well, as a white person, it doesn't get presented to you in a way that has offensive tendencies. She explained it thoroughly. And it's not "just now" considered racist. Like the other housewives, this is the first time you've heard of it having a racist connection. What you do with it now is up to you, I guess. That's the friendship comfort level thing I mentioned before. 

Quote

I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall to witness Ramona's reaction to this episode! 

[Avaleigh]

19 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

That's so interesting.  I have a similar experience.  I swear normally, but I have a friend of 20 years who never does so I'm more conscious of my speech around her.  She's never complained, but I just keep it in mind to be considerate.  

This is why I liked it when Eboni told Ramona and Luann that she wouldn't speak the way Leah does wrt sex talk because she knows it bothers them. It's nice and polite to be considerate of how others are feeling about words, phrases, topics, etc. I know I wouldn't want to deliberately use a word that I know bothers someone even if I don't personally think the word is a big deal. 

I remember this topic sort of coming up on BH during the season Kathryn was on. Erica had on the "cunty" necklace and Kathryn was explaining why she didn't like the word. It's been too long for me to remember all of the specifics, but IIRC Erica didn't care that there were people who didn't like using that word so of course she proceeded to say it repeatedly. 

[Ms Blue Jay]

Just now, Avaleigh said:

This is why I liked it when Eboni told Ramona and Luann that she wouldn't speak the way Leah does wrt sex talk because she knows it bothers them. It's nice and polite to be considerate of how others are feeling about words, phrases, topics, etc. I know I wouldn't want to deliberately use a word that I know bothers someone even if I don't personally think the word is a big deal. 

Oh I totally agree.  Unfortunately, I don't think Leah is actually friends with those women, they are her coworkers.  So I don't think she cares.  I don't know how she treats her friends, but when it comes to my friends I try to respect that of course.

Edited June 17, 2021 by Ms Blue Jay

[WhatAmIWatching]

13 hours ago, albarino said:

Articulate is a perfectly acceptable word in the English language. My theory. Not racist.  As a highly educated woman, she should know this. I only have a Masters Degree so I'm probably really stupid.

Articulate isn't a bad word.  Period.

*Snipped for space*
 Articulate itself isn't racist or a bad word. The context where it's used, and who it's said to, or about, is where the micro aggression happens. That's the difference.

@lawrbk your whole post is chefs kiss! Didn't Eboni speak on race inequality for a living? I can see her continuing that. She also has a deliberate way of speaking-probably from her experiences as an atty and broadcaster, so I can see how it can come off as lecturing. 

Exactly, @Hiyo, at least until Sutton happened LOL. Thank you for pointing that out!

@Avaleigh I wish I could like your post a bunch of times! I love and appreciate reading/hearing other's experiences and POV's. It helps me understand why and how things need to change, why some choose to pick their battles. It all helps keep this old lady's mind and heart open and always striving to be more inclusive and aware of how what I do might impact someone else. Even small changes can make a difference. (I do still make many mistakes and hope I get called on it when needed!) 
 

I'm loling big time the posts about Leah's rubber boobs in her TH! I thought that they appeared odd as well, and rewound to see if I could figure out why they looked so strange. Boob tape placed weirdly? Idek.
For the above pic, I'm glad she let her scar hang out, that's as real as it gets, though you'd think boob surgery in 2021 would've evolved past lollipop scars. I wish her sister would make her bangs less deep. As they are, they make her face look smushed. Yes, I'm shallow and judgey.

[lasu]

1 hour ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

That's so interesting.  I have a similar experience.  I swear normally, but I have a friend of 20 years who never does so I'm more conscious of my speech around her.  She's never complained, but I just keep it in mind to be considerate.  

It's actually, for me, much harder to stop saying one term around one person.  When I'm around kids or at work or whatever, I can just change to a PG rating.  But to just not say "god damn" when I'm still dropping F-bombs right and left is difficult!  But I make an effort because I care.

35 minutes ago, Avaleigh said:

This is why I liked it when Eboni told Ramona and Luann that she wouldn't speak the way Leah does wrt sex talk because she knows it bothers them. It's nice and polite to be considerate of how others are feeling about words, phrases, topics, etc. I know I wouldn't want to deliberately use a word that I know bothers someone even if I don't personally think the word is a big deal. 

This is an excellent point. Eboni isn't asking for special treatment she is willing to offer others.

[lamujerdecente]

6 hours ago, swankie said:

To understand why Heather's articulate comment was insulting to Eboni, add the unsaid "for a black woman" to it.  That's a sore spot with me also.  I've actually been told I am pretty for a black girl.  No kidding!  Needless to say, my response wasn't as genteel as Eboni's.  Racism comes in many forms, not all comes from hatred.  Sometimes it comes from ignorance.  The fact that Eboni is trying to educate these women has been a long time coming. 

my daughter is told this CONSTANTLY. I am sorry Love for those assholes. 

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Folks,

Let's take discussion that is solely focused on personal experiences to Small Talk.  There is no issue with having these discussions.  Everyone is being very civil and folks are expressing interest.  However, the better location for them is the Small Talk thread.  That will extend beyond the episode itself. 

[Feech]

Who let’s a dog on the table to lick all the canapés?

Well except for Lisa Vanderpump.

[SweetieDarling]

42 minutes ago, Feech said:

Who let’s a dog on the table to lick all the canapés?

Well except for Lisa Vanderpump.

Hey now, Giggy was well-behaved. He'd have sat politely in Lisa's lap while she fed him the canapes... Kyle's dog Bambi however, is known to take advantage of food left unattended. 

[Feech]

Normally it’s Sonja who licks all the canapés so no one else will want them and she can take them home.

She doesn’t need the competition.

[Raiderred]

Very boring episode and I FF'd through most of it.  It's getting close to coming off of my DVR.

[StatisticalOutlier]

23 hours ago, njbchlover said:

Either way, it's pretty damn impressive for a woman who is 64 years old to be able to 40 push-ups of any kind, and not break a sweat or appear winded afterward!!   😂

Well, I'm 64 and just dropped to the floor and did 35 Ramona pushups, at which point I was getting winded and my wrists were hurting.  But...I've been sitting on the couch for the entirety of Covid, doing no exercise at all other than walking from my car to the grocery store a couple of times a week.  I'm certain that Ramona has kept up her full fitness regimen.

Those shallow push-ups really aren't hard at all.  Try it.  You might impress yourself.

 

[tribeca]

I remember closing the store I work at early on election night due to the company afraid of riots.   Thankful nothing happened but romana being afraid seemed in character for her.  Or maybe it was just a great excuse to not attend that boring party.  The food did look good though.   Sonja and the puppies seemed enjoy the spread. 
   

[Hiyo]

“I'mcertain that Ramona has kept up her fullfitness regimen.”

I wonder if she does it in the same type of underwear she uses to mop her kitchen.