S04.E13: Spilled Milk

[helenamonster]

Quote

Claire is blindsided when her absentee father shows up at her door. Shaun feels disconnected from Lea, causing tension in their relationship.

Original airdate: 3/29/21

[Annber03]

Aw, that was a nice moment with Shaun and Lea at the end there. Glassman's talk with him about his own daughter was poignant. 

Wow, that story with Maya and Leo ended on quite the heartbreaking note. 

As for everything with Claire, I'm so glad that there was a moment between her and Shaun regarding her issues with her dad. I was hoping she'd turn to him at some point about all of that. For her sake, I'm glad she was able to have a moment with him, and she could start working through some of her emotions involving him, but I also don't blame her one bit for being angry and struggling to forgive him. 

And now there's that genetic issue for her to worry about as well. Ergh. Hopefully things turn out okay for her with that, at least. Let the poor girl have a break already. 

Glad that Park and Morgan managed to sort out their issues, too. If they can keep their snarky back and forth on a more playful level, that'll work a lot better for their relationship, yeah. 

[KaveDweller]

Could something good happen to Claire? Just once, maybe? I feel like she has the worst luck, and she seems to try and do the most good. I am glad she is trying to forgive her father though. As the resident who's name I'm forgetting said, forgiveness is for yourself and not the other person.

Morgan is really a bitch, but it was entertaining to see her and Park navigate their new relationships.

I am not sure Asher did the right thing telling the patient's partner that she loved him. I know he was trying to help, but it really felt like an overstep. It felt like such a sad situation. They have had a couple cases this year about some kind of athlete/performing or had a condition that would make them stop, but this one had the added love angle.

The Lea and Shaun storyline was okay, I can understand both point's of view. But I hope we don't get a baby storyline every episode until it is born. 

[statsgirl]

One of the things I most dislike about Grey's Anatomy is that every conversation ends up being about the relationships on the show. This episode was nothing except what I don't like.

I was starting to like Lea after the cyber attack but now she's right back to being immature again. Of course Shaun is going to call it a fetus, have you met him? He connects through medicine.  Let him do his thing and stop expecting him to be like everyone else, to live up to your immature expectations. I hate it when Lea refuses to accept who Shaun is and expects him to conform to her standards.

Lea, it is impossible to separate being a father and a doctor. Take it from me, the daughter of two doctors. No matter how hard they tried, and neither of them have ASD, it was impossible to turn off being a doctor.

Shaun telling the patient to stop eating black licorice was pure House.

Would the doctors really have been "we must amputate the leg' if she had been an elite athlete? 15% is pretty low if you compare it to many surgeries. Would whether she was in love with her partner or not have been a factor in an athlete? Did I miss the part where she said that he had her medical PoA?

Claire's dad, it's nice that you came back as you're dying asking her to forgive you. But you left a small, vulnerable child with a woman with a mental disorder, a woman that you yourself couldn't live with but you left her to take car of. No sympathy for you, and shame on the rest of Claire's team for guiltilng her into being responsible for him now.

What are they trying to do with Claire?  First they kill her mother, then she finds love and they kill Melendez, now her father is dying and she may have inherited the cancer gene from him. Is she some archetypal figure who must always suffer?

[thuganomics85]

I wonder if the actors playing Maya and Leo have background in dancing as well, because they seemed pretty natural during the dance sequence.  Had a feeling it was going to end with Maya losing her leg, but at least she is alive, even if she apparently had to ask Leo to leave, because she knows he'll never feel the same way about her like she does for him.  Asher's involvement provoked a mixed response from me.  I obviously think he meant well and might have made the right call, but it felt like he was overstepping somewhat: especially with revealing information to Leo that Maya didn't want him knowing.  But I guess meddling is a common theme on this show, so Asher is certainly fitting in that way!

I guess it was time for another round of "Everything Sucks for Claire!"  First, her father makes his grand return after abandoning her for years, and collapses on her door-step.  She then finds out he has cancer and was wanting to make amends, and while he seemed to be sincere about it, she understandably is still upset because, again, he abandoned her for years (with a mother who wasn't mentally well.)  She then gets some icing on this crappy cake by having both Jordan and Lim basically judge her for not wanting to talk with him and make her feel like shit for not just wanting to rush in and forgive the guy who basically left her high and dry (although, I noticed that Park; the other person on the team; stayed out of it.  Because Park knows better, at least.)  But, hey, he's survives the surgery and she's now willing to go get Rocky Road with him.  Yay?

Oh, almost forgot: the cancer is genetic, so Claire has a 50% chance of having the gene as well.  Seriously, what kind of witch, sorcerer, or other magical being did Claire piss off to get such a curse put upon her?

No surprise that Park and Reznick are working through some issues with their new relationship, although the latter was definitely the one at fault this go around.  But they remain "friends with benefits" for now, but I still have a feeling it will be something more.

All the drama with Lea/Shaun was another case of me thinking that Lea was technically right that Shaun was being selfish on some levels and needs to work on his issues, but I just couldn't figure out why she was surprised by this, since they've been together for as long as they have been.  She should know by now that Shaun is someone who struggles with emotional connections, and not being able to see or hold an actual baby (yet) will make it hard for him not to see it as something medical first (a.k.a. calling it a fetus instead of a baby.)  Yes, that is a different outlook compared to most, but, again, Lea should haven't not been surprised by Shaun's feelings.  And, again, while it might be selfish or short-sighted of him to feel that way, the fact he even opens up about it to her is actually a good thing, instead of him just stewing and keeping it bottled in.  He's at least trying to communicate with her, which is a big step for him, I think.  I don't know: I think they need some kind way to communicate better going forward, or issues like this will keep arising.

[hula-la]

1 hour ago, thuganomics85 said:

I wonder if the actors playing Maya and Leo have background in dancing as well, because they seemed pretty natural during the dance sequence.  Had a feeling it was going to end with Maya losing her leg, but at least she is alive, even if she apparently had to ask Leo to leave, because she knows he'll never feel the same way about her like she does for him.  Asher's involvement provoked a mixed response from me.  I obviously think he meant well and might have made the right call, but it felt like he was overstepping somewhat: especially with revealing information to Leo that Maya didn't want him knowing.  But I guess meddling is a common theme on this show, so Asher is certainly fitting in that way!

The actor who plays Leo, Michael Hsu Rosen, is a dancer. He’s on Tiny  Pretty Things (it was bugging me why he looked familiar). 

[possibilities]

3 hours ago, statsgirl said:

Did I miss the part where she said that he had her medical PoA?

They said he was her health proxy, which is what some states call the medical power of attorney.

Asher definitely overstepped per HIIPA. I like him, and I do think he meant well, but those rules exist and he was off book.

 

[DanaK]

What bugs me about the dancer storyline is the doctors saying her leg had been eaten up by the blood clots and they really needed to replace the femur or amputate, but somehow she was able to dance before that (and that dance at the hospital was beautiful)

[CatLady]

The "last dance" of Maya and Leo was not only hokey, it was improbable given the diagnosis about the bone damage.  As for Asher, he broke the rules period.  But I got the feeling he did it because he is gay and wanted to help gay Leo.  I'm not explaining this very well but to me it should be of no concern to a doctor what the personal relationship of of a support person is or is not.  A doctor should be firmly focused on the patient.  If Leo had not been gay I don't think Asher would have involved himself at all in the partner's personal life.  Their personal relationship had no bearing on Maya's diagnosis or treatment.  Regardless of external factors, the amputation was the best choice for her.

I was never a fan of Lea.  I am even less of a fan since she decided she loves Shaun.  Last night was a perfect example of why I do not like her.  Autism is a very isolating and self-focused condition.  Shaun is high functioning but he cannot ever be expected to act as if he is not autistic.  It is unrealistic.  I felt that if anyone was being selfish last night it was Lea.  She acted like this pregnancy is all consuming.  I've been pregnant and know what it's like.  Yes there are changes and things going on that are new but I found it to be a happy, wonderful time.  It was only at then end when I was very ready to deliver that I felt overwhelmed by being pregnant.  Lea is not even showing and she is moaning nonstop. Drama queens bore me.  I have zero time for mean drama queens.

Poor Claire.  I love her.  She has had such a sad life.  Yet she is loving and giving.  I would like to see her be happy for a while.  I do miss Melendez so much. Claire got good advice about her father.  Claire being Claire would have hated herself if she did not at least try with him.

Morgan is so entertaining.  I love her even though she is a mess.  Bet FG loves playing her.

[Starchild]

11 hours ago, Annber03 said:

Glad that Park and Morgan managed to sort out their issues, too. If they can keep their snarky back and forth on a more playful level, that'll work a lot better for their relationship, yeah. 

For now, maybe. Park has adapted to Morgan's relationship style of being surface-mean, but he can't keep it up long term. He's just not that kind of guy. He showed that in this episode. She's going to have to have some kind of personality breakthrough if she wants him more permanently.

 

11 hours ago, KaveDweller said:

I am not sure Asher did the right thing telling the patient's partner that she loved him. I know he was trying to help, but it really felt like an overstep.

Ethical overstep seems to be a theme this season. It comes from the doctors (on this and other shows) standing around observing personal conversations (when they're not doing a procedure at the time). Whenever they stand there in the background and listen/watch it just makes me crazy. That would never happen in real life of course, real health professionals would step out and let the patient have their conversations in private (plus they're too busy to just hang around).

[MaryHedwig]

12 hours ago, KaveDweller said:

I am not sure Asher did the right thing telling the patient's partner that she loved him. I know he was trying to help, but it really felt like an overstep. It felt like such a sad situation. They have had a couple cases this year about some kind of athlete/performing or had a condition that would make them stop, but this one had the added love angle.

I wondered if it was an overstep for Asher to look at Leo's Instagram. 

[PinkRibbons]

I was surprised they didn't go with what I personally thought would be Shaun's problem with thinking of the fetus as a baby: just because this fetus is wanted and expected to become a baby doesn't make it physically any different from a fetus that will be terminated. Shaun is extremely literal-minded. If Lea insists on him changing his mindset to think of the fetus as a baby, can he ever feel right performing an abortion again?

Also, this:

12 hours ago, thuganomics85 said:

And, again, while it might be selfish or short-sighted of him to feel that way, the fact he even opens up about it to her is actually a good thing, instead of him just stewing and keeping it bottled in.  He's at least trying to communicate with her, which is a big step for him, I think.  I don't know: I think they need some kind way to communicate better going forward, or issues like this will keep arising.

And finally, it's not unheard of for men not to feel a connection to a an unborn child. Sometimes they have to see it to feel it. A (male) doctor whose books my mom quoted was a strong proponent of not having fathers in the delivery room because birth itself could be so difficult for them to process. The idea that there is suddenly a person in the world that was not quite there before was apparently something the doctor saw blow too many fathers' minds and sent them reeling. (I guess that was annoying for the doctors to have to manage while helping a lady who was busy giving birth.)

[tennisgurl]

Seriously, what sorcerer did Claire piss off that cursed her to have horrible things happen to her constantly? Why do the writers keep saddling her with trauma after trauma? Not only does her long absentee father suddenly arrive, but he has a stroke right at her front door. Then it turns out he has terminal cancer. Then it turns out that his cancer is genetic. I guess the only bright spot is that he survived so maybe they can have a relationship...where given his track record he could easily skip out yet again now that he isn't dying anymore. Yay? I kept waiting for her and Shaun to talk, as he has experience with figuring out if you want to forgive an estranged crappy parent who is probably dying and everyone is telling you to forgive them, so I am glad they finally did. Claire's went better than Shaun's did at least, it does seem like Claire's dad is sorry for leaving her while Shaun's dad was a miserable bastard to the end. 

Its always a fine line to walk in these kinds of stories with people trying to grapple with whether or not to forgive relatives who did them wrong, especially parents. Like the show itself said, forgiveness is often more for the person forgiving than the person being forgiven, it can bring closure and possibly lead to a better relationship growing in place of a bad one, especially if the person being forgiven really feels remorse and wants to try and make up for their mistakes. On the other hand, I never like when narratives insist that people forgive their crappy relatives because "they're family" like that means they owe them something, even when they don't really deserve forgiveness and the person feels like they cant give it. Its always really annoying when characters get all on their high horse acting like someone is a bad person because they cant forgive someone who did something terrible to them like they're the asshole now. Plus, it could always end like it did when Shaun went to see his dying father. Everyone was telling him to see his dad, and that just made him feel even worse because his father is a useless piece of crap. I am glad that Claire seems open to forgiving her father, mostly because this will hopefully be healthy for her, but he did ditch Claire with her unstable addict mom and never checked in with her until he was dying, I wouldn't blame her for not wanting anything to do with him after this. 

Gee, I wonder why Shaun feels like he is always pissing Lea off and why he feels like he cant say anything? Maybe because when he says how he feels, his girlfriend will call him selfish and stomp away in a huff? I get that this is stressful and scary, but why is Lea acting surprised that Shaun is looking at their child from a medical standpoint and struggling with showing how he feels? Shaun has always related to the world through a medical lens and she knows how hard it is for him to build connections. Her acting mad at him for being himself just seems so petty, even if it understandable to a degree why she feels alone. Yes Shaun should be working more with Lea on the baby stuff, but that's why its important to talk about things, especially with Shaun, instead of getting mad. The last scene was nice though, and the talk between Shaun and Glassman about his own daughter was very emotional. 

Poor Maya. I recognized Leo as one of the dancers from Pretty Little Things so I am guessing that her actress had dancing experience as well, their last dance looked very experienced. Asher meant well, but he really overstepped telling Leo about Maya being in love with him. There has been a lot of overstepping lately in general, all of the doctors putting their own stuff on their patients personal lives and that affecting their medical choices. 

Things start off awkward with Park and Reznick, but they end in a better place. I am still putting money on them becoming a thing later on, no matter how much Reznick tries to pull away. 

[CarpeFelis]

2 hours ago, tennisgurl said:

I never like when narratives insist that people forgive their crappy relatives because "they're family" like that means they owe them something, even when they don't really deserve forgiveness and the person feels like they cant give it. Its always really annoying when characters get all on their high horse acting like someone is a bad person because they cant forgive someone who did something terrible to them like they're the asshole now. Plus, it could always end like it did when Shaun went to see his dying father. Everyone was telling him to see his dad, and that just made him feel even worse because his father is a useless piece of crap. I am glad that Claire seems open to forgiving her father, mostly because this will hopefully be healthy for her, but he did ditch Claire with her unstable addict mom and never checked in with her until he was dying, I wouldn't blame her for not wanting anything to do with him after this. 

Boy, can I ever relate to this! My father was an alcoholic who always treated me like I was some sort of competition. We’d argue like siblings when I was little — but he was a grown-ass man and I was a little girl. He thought he deserved a medal because he never got violent when he was drunk, but he’d say the most vicious, hurtful things he could possibly think of. Even when sober his two favorite things to say to me were “No one will ever like you” and “I only liked you when you were a baby”. Seriously. (And BTW, it was my mother who supported us. He couldn’t or wouldn’t hold onto a job for more than a few months. He was no role model by any means.)

So... when I was a senior in college, my mother finally divorced him - as I wish she’d done several years sooner. He went to live with a drinking buddy and unsurprisingly drank himself to death when I was in grad school the next fall. Meanwhile, I had been living with the constant fear that one day he’d show up on my doorstep expecting me to support him and put up with more of his abuse. So frankly, my feelings upon his death came closest to “ding dong, the witch is dead”.

You can imagine the reaction from all my friends and acquaintances who had nice, normal families with fathers they could look up to and be proud of. Yes, I was a HORRIBLE person because... “but he was your FAAAAAAATHER!!!”

[KaveDweller]

12 hours ago, DanaK said:

What bugs me about the dancer storyline is the doctors saying her leg had been eaten up by the blood clots and they really needed to replace the femur or amputate, but somehow she was able to dance before that (and that dance at the hospital was beautiful)

My impression was she had been dancing through the pain for awhile, thinking it was a pulled muscle. And they were telling her the leg couldn't take it much longer, but I can buy that she could squeeze out one more dance. I have a hard time believing the doctors would LET her dance though.

7 hours ago, CatLady said:

I was never a fan of Lea.  I am even less of a fan since she decided she loves Shaun.  Last night was a perfect example of why I do not like her.  Autism is a very isolating and self-focused condition.  Shaun is high functioning but he cannot ever be expected to act as if he is not autistic.  It is unrealistic.  I felt that if anyone was being selfish last night it was Lea.  She acted like this pregnancy is all consuming.  I've been pregnant and know what it's like.  Yes there are changes and things going on that are new but I found it to be a happy, wonderful time.  It was only at then end when I was very ready to deliver that I felt overwhelmed by being pregnant.  Lea is not even showing and she is moaning nonstop. Drama queens bore me.  I have zero time for mean drama queens.

I have never been pregnant, but I would imagine everyone's body reacts a bit differently and everyone would have a different mental reaction to it. So, I don't mind Lea feeling overwhelmed. And I don't mind her whining about it because she has always been a whiner and Shaun still chose to be with her. But I agree with you that she should not be surprised by Shaun's reaction and it wasn't totally fair to call him selfish. He did seem like he was being selfish, but he doesn't process things the same as others and he was trying to open up to her by telling her his feelings.

[izabella]

I'm giving Lea a pass for now because she is hormonal, feels nauseated, and is coming to terms with what it means to have a baby with Shaun.  She's feeling alone and like all the responsibility is on her for the pregnancy, and she's seeing that it also means all the joy is hers alone, too, since Shaun can't really share it with her.   She admits she knew he would be selfish and whatnot, but knowing it and expecting it isn't the same as experiencing it when it happens.

[SunnyBeBe]

You all have pretty much covered it. Claire deserves better.  These writers are brutal. Not amusing.  
 

I predict that Lea will not be able to live with Shaun long term....if the pregnancy goes full term.  One thing that I detest is when someone tells you one thing, then expects you to do something different.  Like Leah telling Shaun not to come to the doctor visit, then jumping with joy when he showed up.  Shaun takes things literally. Don’t say it, unless you really mean it.  She is insufferable and I liked Shaun fine until he got mixed up with her.  Their relationship is just ugghhhh....

[possibilities]

I think both Lea and Shaun need to grow here. 

For instance, her shutting him down when he asked "Where did you go to medical school?" was controlling and unnecessary. I also frankly think her insistence on "baby" vs "fetus" is some bullshit degree of mind-control.

For his part, he needs to learn how to develop a feeling of connection if he wants to have one, and be considerate of what Lea is going through when she's nauseated.

But he was trying! He really was. The idea of dancing was not a bad one, nausea aside. And opening up about his feelings wasn't inherently a wrong move. Lea could have admitted her own fears instead of shutting him down. The two of them are just not great at dealing with problems, and neither of them have the emotional maturity for this kind of relationship, but they'd better develop it fast if they are going to stay together and if they are going to be functional parents.

[chitowngirl]

My initial thought was “Claire, why are you opening your door without finding out who’s on the other side.”

[statsgirl]

10 hours ago, CatLady said:

 Shaun is high functioning but he cannot ever be expected to act as if he is not autistic.  It is unrealistic.  I felt that if anyone was being selfish last night it was Lea.

You've said what I'm feeling much better than I did.

My problem with this pregnancy storyline is not that Shaun is autistic but that Lea is needy and immature. If she want to wallow in this pregnancy, that's fine but she shouldn't expect Shaun to feel or behave in the same way. In fact, by refusing to let him call it a fetus or connect to it medically, she's hindering his connection to it.  If she needs to talk about it, do what many women do, talk to your friends or other women.

When I went into labour, my husband drove me to the hospital but he also brought along his laptop because "Not everyone can take time off work." And he wasn't autistic.  I wonder what Lea would have felt in that scenario.

She has to stop expecting Shaun to behave according to her fantasy book when it comes to the pregnancy.

[Fable]

I didn’t really care for the Shaun/Lea thing.  I know being pregnant heightens emotions, so in a way I understood, but Shaun has always been logical/practical as opposed to emotional, and Lea knows that.  She asked him to talk to “Berry”, and he did, so he is trying, but he is just not predisposed to that type of thinking.  I’m sure if the pregnancy goes to term, he will make every effort to be a good and loving father, and Glassman is a good mentor for him, so he has that going for him.  

[Driad]

I hope the writers have a creative and refreshing twist in mind for the Shaun/Lea story line, because so far it is just annoying.

Same for the Claire story line; so far it is just depressing.  

We need a reason to keep watching this show!

[KaveDweller]

1 hour ago, chitowngirl said:

My initial thought was “Claire, why are you opening your door without finding out who’s on the other side.”

Claire had crappy parents, I guess no one ever taught her to check who it is first.

[Whimsy]

19 hours ago, hula-la said:

The actor who plays Leo, Michael Hsu Rosen, is a dancer. He’s on Tiny  Pretty Things (it was bugging me why he looked familiar). 

Thank you. It was bugging me where I knew him from. I knew he was actually a dancer. 
 

I’ll join the line of people who are annoyed with Lea. She didn’t bother me as much as others up until now, but Shaun was trying in his own way and she still was whIny. 

[possibilities]

I am used to Lea and Shaun being immature and needing constant emotional supervision, but I thought Reznik was way over the line with her suspicion that Park actually tampered with her coffee, and freaking out when he opened his umbrella-- they're walking together, it's raining, should he step away before opening the umbrella, so there's no chance she'd also be protected??? It goes beyond a not-romantic personality and into what the hell is wrong with her?

This whole season seems to be about juvenile relationship drama. 

[CarpeFelis]

Given what the scan of the dancer’s leg looked like, I could not believe she’d still be able to walk at all, much less dance. She had basically no femur left, so what the heck was supporting her weight?!

I wanted to smack Lea when she told Shaun he was being selfish. He was doing a really good job of articulating his feelings (much better than season 1 Shaun seemed like he’d ever be capable of, in fact) to her, the person who’s supposed to care about him the most. And he had every right to feel the way he did. And she’s all “me, me, me, blah blah blah... you’re being selfish”. Ever notice how often the s-word is pure projection, in the show and IRL?

I thought once Shaun heard the baby’s heartbeat it would all become more real to him, and from the look on his face I think it did.

Perhaps an unpopular opinion but I thought the interactions between Park and Reznik were hilarious, except for her taking things too far in front of Andrews. Especially when he drove off and left her in the rain. She had that coming. (OK, I have a twisted sense of humor.)

Isn’t it about time the show found Asher a nice boyfriend? And stopped torturing Claire? At least let her find out she doesn’t have the gene, FFS. That would be just too damn much for one character to have to endure.

 

[SunnyBeBe]

I wish that tv shows would let go of cliches where a person tells another that they should do this or that because if they don’t and someone dies......they will never forgive themselves. Really?   That’s such BS.  How dare another person presume to know another person’s conscience or project underserved guilt on them.  Maybe these people are convinced that people with unresolved feelings can only work them out by talking it out with a dying relative.....idk, but it’s not that simple.  Shaun was a good example of how it’s not a one size fits all.  

[possibilities]

I always assume it's people who did terrible things who are pushing someone who was hurt to "forgive". The identify more with the person who did wrong than the person they did it to.

[bros402]

On 3/30/2021 at 12:02 AM, thuganomics85 said:

Oh, almost forgot: the cancer is genetic, so Claire has a 50% chance of having the gene as well.  Seriously, what kind of witch, sorcerer, or other magical being did Claire piss off to get such a curse put upon her?

Well if this was This Is Us, we'd get a 3 parter about how both her maternal and paternal great-grandmothers slighted a woman in the early 1900s, leading to these improbably events.

[MaryHedwig]

4 hours ago, CarpeFelis said:

Given what the scan of the dancer’s leg looked like, I could not believe she’d still be able to walk at all, much less dance. She had basically no femur left, so what the heck was supporting her weight?!

Their dance is a common opera troupe: the diva has just enough lung capacity to belt out her last great aria before dying of tuberculous (I'm looking at you, Mimi). 

Edited March 31, 2021 by MaryHedwig

[rmontro]

You know, I've always liked rude and insensitive Morgan as a story piece to help fill in the background hospital world.  But I'm really fed up with watching this sick and twisted relationship her and Park have.  

The thing that most stood out to me was the story about the patient who got carpel tunnel from playing chess.  I mean wow, how much chess do you have to play to develop carpel tunnel from it? Chess doesn't seem like it would be particularly hard on the hands - picking up the pieces and hitting the clock, I guess.  That's got to be a lot of chess to develop an injury from it.

[bros402]

9 hours ago, rmontro said:

You know, I've always liked rude and insensitive Morgan as a story piece to help fill in the background hospital world.  But I'm really fed up with watching this sick and twisted relationship her and Park have.  

The thing that most stood out to me was the story about the patient who got carpel tunnel from playing chess.  I mean wow, how much chess do you have to play to develop carpel tunnel from it? Chess doesn't seem like it would be particularly hard on the hands - picking up the pieces and hitting the clock, I guess.  That's got to be a lot of chess to develop an injury from it.

I tihnk it was in the wrist, right?

probably kept their hand in a very specific position - maybe they had another condtion that caused them to do that

[ForReal]

On 3/30/2021 at 7:03 AM, CatLady said:

I've been pregnant and know what it's like.  Yes there are changes and things going on that are new but I found it to be a happy, wonderful time.  It was only at then end when I was very ready to deliver that I felt overwhelmed by being pregnant. 

I felt the same.

On 3/30/2021 at 9:15 AM, PinkRibbons said:

And finally, it's not unheard of for men not to feel a connection to a an unborn child. Sometimes they have to see it to feel it.

Interestingly enough, my husband and I took opposite sides on this episode. He sided with Lea and I sided with Shaun. I said that I thought it was common for fathers to feel disconnected to the pregnancy, since it's not happening *in their bodies* and so it's all theoretical, unlike how it is for the mothers. The good parts and the bad parts are all removed for the fathers. I could see Shaun in particular feeling removed from the experience, and I agree that Lea should have understood that. I thought she was being selfish and my husband thought Shaun was being selfish. Go figure.

[Driad]

On 3/31/2021 at 3:42 PM, rmontro said:

how much chess do you have to play to develop carpel tunnel from it?

Possibly this player plays a lot of speed chess, and uses the same hand/wrist motion for each move?

[methodwriter85]

On 3/29/2021 at 11:25 PM, KaveDweller said:

Could something good happen to Claire? Just once, maybe? I feel like she has the worst luck, and she seems to try and do the most good. I am glad she is trying to forgive her father though. As the resident who's name I'm forgetting said, forgiveness is for yourself and not the other person.

It's getting ridiculous at this point. She had a bipolar mentally ill mother who eventually died, a mentor/love interest who eventually died, and now a father who was never in her life who's got cancer. Seriously? All we need is for her to get hospitalized after a severe assault by a serial killer and that will complete her never-ending woe.

It's so dumb this show made Leah pregnant. It feels like they're trying to justify why they kept Leah but got rid of Nicholas Gonzalez. 

I feel really bad for the dancer. The show really loves to do amputee storylines where the amputee will directly loss a passion they had as a result of the amputation. See: the violinist losing her playing arm after getting skin eating disease. Could be worse though- I recently read the horrific story of a teenaged boy who lost his ENTIRE (I mean ENTIRE lower body) after he got pinned down by a mack truck or something like that. 

Edited April 1, 2021 by methodwriter85

[tinderbox]

I usually despise Reznick but I’m interested in seeing where she and Park are headed.

Love Lea and Shawn and am hopeful Lea doesn’t expect too much from him throughout her pregnancy and beyond.  She’s going to have to truly come to grips with the reality of who Shawn is and accept that her fairytale expectations probably won’t happen.  Heck, oftentimes our expectations turn out much differently than we anticipate even when our partner doesn’t have special needs.  Happens every day.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed for these two.

True, Claire hasn’t had much to smile about lately.  It seems the writers need to rethink this character’s storyline....quickly.

 

 

Edited April 2, 2021 by tinderbox

[bros402]

12 hours ago, ForReal said:

I felt the same.

Interestingly enough, my husband and I took opposite sides on this episode. He sided with Lea and I sided with Shaun. I said that I thought it was common for fathers to feel disconnected to the pregnancy, since it's not happening *in their bodies* and so it's all theoretical, unlike how it is for the mothers. The good parts and the bad parts are all removed for the fathers. I could see Shaun in particular feeling removed from the experience, and I agree that Lea should have understood that. I thought she was being selfish and my husband thought Shaun was being selfish. Go figure.

I (male) fell somewhere in the middle of Shaun and Lea - aren't they still pretty early in the pregnancy? Like, at the point where a miscarriage could happen and it would not be very uncommon?

 

edit: forgot my point:

So, if they are that early in the pregnancy, Shaun might be trying to protect himself given his PTSD from being abused as a child.

Edited April 2, 2021 by bros402

[Emma9]

On 3/29/2021 at 11:26 PM, statsgirl said:

Claire's dad, it's nice that you came back as you're dying asking her to forgive you. But you left a small, vulnerable child with a woman with a mental disorder, a woman that you yourself couldn't live with but you left her to take car of. No sympathy for you, and shame on the rest of Claire's team for guiltilng her into being responsible for him now.

I agree about the rest of the team, but Lim was right that Claire being Claire, she'd be in more pain and guilt in the long run even if she wasn't truly responsible for saving him. She knows her well enough to know that. Mind you, I'd have preferred to see her convince him to get the surgery and then walk away anyhow. She can save his life because he's a human being and still not make him a part of hers.

Lea, last week both of you were emotionally disconnected enough from 'the fetus' to be literally on the doorstep of getting an abortion. You were thinking in terms of 'is this the right time for us to become parents' rather than 'how do I feel about this baby as a unique entity'. Maybe give Shaun a little leeway for being slower to switch gears. And Shaun will probably not intuitively get the line between nice/helpful gestures (eventually I'm sure she'll reach for those cushions!) and being overbearing (dictating which prenatal vitamins she takes), so she'll have cope with needing to be more explicit about the kind of practical/emotional support she'll need if she wants to get it.

(It also probably has to be weird for Shaun to be the one seeking out closeness and cuddles and being rebuffed because the other person needs their space. But her feeling this pukey and gross will probably pass soon, and it would probably also help for him to know that.)

Edited April 3, 2021 by Emma9

[bros402]

23 hours ago, Emma9 said:

Lea, last week both of you were emotionally disconnected enough from 'the fetus' to be literally on the doorstep of getting an abortion. You were thinking in terms of 'is this the right time for us to become parents' rather than 'how do I feel about this baby as a unique entity'. Maybe give Shaun a little leeway for being slower to switch gears. And Shaun will probably not intuitively get the line between nice/helpful gestures (eventually I'm sure she'll reach for those cushions!) and being overbearing (dictating which prenatal vitamins she takes), so she'll have cope with needing to be more explicit about the kind of practical/emotional support she'll need if she wants to get it.

(It also probably has to be weird for Shaun to be the one seeking out closeness and cuddles and being rebuffed because the other person needs their space. But her feeling this pukey and gross will probably pass soon, and it would probably also help for him to know that.)

Yuuup - Leah should understand by this point that Shaun might need some time to adjust.

[Leeds]

On 3/30/2021 at 4:41 PM, statsgirl said:

You've said what I'm feeling much better than I did.

My problem with this pregnancy storyline is not that Shaun is autistic but that Lea is needy and immature. If she want to wallow in this pregnancy, that's fine but she shouldn't expect Shaun to feel or behave in the same way. In fact, by refusing to let him call it a fetus or connect to it medically, she's hindering his connection to it.  If she needs to talk about it, do what many women do, talk to your friends or other women.

When I went into labour, my husband drove me to the hospital but he also brought along his laptop because "Not everyone can take time off work." And he wasn't autistic.  I wonder what Lea would have felt in that scenario.

She has to stop expecting Shaun to behave according to her fantasy book when it comes to the pregnancy.

Totally agree with the bolded, and as others have said, at least Shaun is trying.

When I went into labour, my (ex) husband drove me to the hospital.  After a bit he decided he was bored and went for a walk.  He was gone for THREE hours.  This was pre-cell phones, so I had no way to get hold of him.

[Calvada]

On 3/30/2021 at 3:41 AM, DanaK said:

What bugs me about the dancer storyline is the doctors saying her leg had been eaten up by the blood clots and they really needed to replace the femur or amputate, but somehow she was able to dance before that (and that dance at the hospital was beautiful)

And she had just had abdominal surgery.  I have had 2 abdominal surgeries and simply getting up out of a chair was a challenge during the initial recovery process.  How could her doctors allow her to engage in such activity, with the risk of tearing and internal bleeding?  

 

[Zoe]

I burst out laughing when I saw Asher eating a cheeseburger again lol

[sleepysuzy]

My Claire prediction: she gets the genetic testing done and finds out he is not her father. Alternatively, she tests positive for the cancer gene and decides something about either never having kids to risk passing it on, or freezing eggs in case she ends up with cancer and needs chemo.