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helenamonster

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  1. It seems like SNL men in general have very good luck with women. There's Colin and Scarlett (and he was with Rashida Jones before that), Pete and his neverending list of inexplicable girlfriends, Jason Sudeikis is married to Olivia Wilde, Fred Armisen was married to Elisabeth Moss and is now with Natasha Lyonne, and Nicole Kidman told a story on The Tonight Show about how she'd tried to get with Jimmy Fallon in the early aughts, but he'd been totally oblivious. Of all of these, Jason and Olivia is the only one that doesn't make me scratch my head.
  2. Hey guys, is JLo, like, attractive or something? It felt like that was a premise for most of the sketches, but I wasn't sure. I really, really disliked her monologue--nothing about it sat right with me. I don't begrudge her success--it seems to be the consensus in the industry that she is one of the hardest-working people you'll ever meet, and I do think she's worked for everything she's gotten, nothing has been handed to her. But I don't need a multi-millionaire bragging to me about all she's achieved, and complaining about all the people that "counted her out" as if she hasn't been on top of the world for 20+ years. I will say, I do always love to see that Versace dress--one of my favorite stories ever is how it basically invented Google Images. I've never liked the Them Trumps sketches and I never will. To me, they are the epitome of the lazy humor that has come to dominate the show under Colin and Michael's leadership. "Daddy's Big Bitch" was my hardest laugh of the night. Am I really supposed to be excited by the Jabbawockeez like it's still 2008? Who are they bringing out next, the Blue Man Group?
  3. Original airdate: 12/15/19
  4. One thing I really liked about the earlier seasons, that I wish they hadn't dropped, was the non-sequitur humor. Like where one character would be on the phone but the others would be commenting on the TV show they were watching. Or the cold open where they spontaneously started humming the Odd Couple theme song. Or just random asides that had nothing to do with anything. "Why isn't it Spiderman?" "What?" "You know like Goldman, Silverman..." "Because he's a Spider Man. He's not, like, Phil Spiderman." I loved these interactions because they felt like the sort of random shit that real friends say to or do with each other. It gave the actual plots some room to breathe while also strengthening the relationships between all the characters.
  5. Talk about a sketch that is so completely of it's time. Holy shit, late 2001 was weird.
  6. Just finished: The Whisper Man by Alex North. Easily one of the best books I read this year. Creepy, compelling, a mystery that (for the most part) made sense with twists that came organically. A lot of the reviews I read compared it to Stephen King at his best, which I think is fair. North is apparently a pseudonym for an already established writer, so maybe it is King haha (unlikely--the book would have been twice as long if it was him). The part that ended up being my favorite was The only part that I thought could have been done better was Next up: The Great Pretender by Susannah Cahalan, an investigation into the details surrounding the Rosenhan experiment (a psychological study in the '70s that was a huge factor in eradicating mental institutions and asylums from the US).
  7. Original airdate: 12/8/19
  8. Original airdate: 12/1/19
  9. The cold open had horrible timing issues, though I don't think it would have been all that great even if everything had gone smoothly. I got distracted during the monologue cuz the woman sitting next to Ryan was very pretty and had a great smile, and I started wondering how they picked the people who got to sit in those seats. Are they friends/family of the cast? Do the summer lottery winners sit there while the people in standby sit in the balcony? Especially if you're going to do a monologue that shows that part of the audience, you need to make sure the people aren't going to do anything crazy and should probably be mildly telegenic. I don't know, but I think it says something about the quality of the monologue that I was paying more attention to the audience members than what was actually happening. Ryan Reynolds is very handsome though. Like stupid handsome. I couldn't stop laughing at the Heinz Relax commercial because I am twelve years old. When Melissa showed up as Maddow I was wondering why they weren't using Cecily (who's done her before) but then she showed up as Gabbard and the world made sense again. I don't even want to touch that Thanksgiving in the 1600s sketch. What is with the show's compulsion to do ~*problematic content*~ and then pull the punch at the last second? The "Party at my House" bit had big Aaron Carter energy and I loved them for it. Also there was a teacher in his mid-20s who used to show up at the parties when I was in high school, and he absolutely was there to creep on the girls. Glad they didn't go in that direction. No Five Timers sketch and no Celebrity Jeopardy. What are we doing here, folks? I take Pete's absences for granted now, but was Ego in anything tonight? Oh wow, guess his thing with Kate Beckinsale ended pretty quickly. Hey Pete? Maybe try being single for a bit, my guy.
  10. Yeah I'm realizing now that just because they didn't walk doesn't mean they didn't earn their degrees. However, just having your JD doesn't make you a lawyer. They haven't taken a bar exam yet. They are licensed to practice absolutely nowhere. They also mentioned that none of them have jobs lined up, and taking a bar exam is a waste of time if you're not guaranteed to be working in that jurisdiction. So even if everything shakes out okay legally for Michaela and Connor, the only members of the K5 left, their actual post-law school prospects are bleak.
  11. Oh wow. Lots to unpack here. It never occurred to me that Alfie could be playing a grownup version of Christopher, not Wes, but I prefer that. Through all my ups and downs with this show, I appreciate that they've never brought characters back from the dead. It gives everything much bigger stakes when you know that shit is permanent. I thought it might be some kind of fantasy sequence, as there is something about it that felt not quite real, not quite grounded in the reality we know this show to exist in. Either way, I don't think Wes actually survived (although I'll admit it would make sense if Laurel found out and ran off to be with him). Fuck, poor Asher. I didn't always like him (the lack of fallout from Sinclair has always bugged me, and I'm furious that he was the informant), but he's been here since day one, and it's tough to lose a legacy character like that. I had also been hoping for an Asher/Michaela endgame. So, who did it? Frank and Bonnie maybe--he told Bonnie he'd flipped and she killed him and called Frank to help cover it up? Or maybe he and Gabriel had one last fight over Michaela. Or maybe Annalise stopped outside the apartment for one reason or another, he confessed to her, and she did it? Something definitely happened before she got on the plane. Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and all his carpenter friends. Shut the fuck up, Nate. Oh, so because you and Annalise got together before Sam and Lila did, all of this is her fault? What? Then it's also your fault--it takes two to tango, you big dumb idiot! Also, it was subtle, but I did like the misdirect of the show making us think this all happened after graduation. Michaela and Connor are the only ones left, and they'll probably still be in jail when the ceremony happens. None of the K5 are going to graduate. For some reason that makes me sad.
  12. I actually think JLo is a very talented actress (she was great in Hustlers), but she has no comedic timing. I think casting her as the straight man would be playing to her strengths. Still can't believe Scarlett Johansson is engaged to Colin of all people. Two former One Direction members musical guesting within a month of each other. Alrighty then. Lizzo should be a good time. I hope they put her in a sketch or two.
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