S11.E05: Kiss My Peach

[TexasGal]

Quote

Dolores and David address their relationship while Jennifer's relationship with her mother worsens. Melissa and Joe confront Michelle and Jon about the rumor they are spreading, and Teresa throws a wild pool party that ends badly.

Airdate: 03.17.2021

[pieinmyeye]

Way to let your kids run all over you, Jennifer. Keep it up and you will regret it one day.

[Keywestclubkid]

Has Teresa’s voice always been this screechy? Like it’s got this pitch 

[Stats Queen]

Dolores’ boyfriend David is such a jerk. He’s used to getting his way no matter how unreasonable and Delores isn’t putting up with that crap - good for her.

[Stats Queen]

So one of Melissa’s sister’s husband is named Joe.

I guess you can’t avoid Joe’s in NJ?

[pieinmyeye]

Joey, I’m sure you waited to have sex until your 20’s. Wait, I think a pig just flew by. Unless you two want to be very young grandparents you better talk to her now. Not about sex because what 15 year old doesn’t know about it. I’m talking birth control and STD’s.

[Keywestclubkid]

Joe! You love olives 

[Keywestclubkid]

I’m carrying the bag that’s bad enough! No one will think you’re a lady dude for holding the bag 

Edited March 18, 2021 by Keywestclubkid

[Axie]

Someone needs to hose Teresa down.  And, Teresa?  Your thighs look huge.

[thesupremediva1]

Sorry to say but Michelle’s husband makes a lot of sense. I think JoeGo owes him big time.

Can we cast Michelle and get rid of Melissa, finally?

Glad to see Jackie is still hiding in her house, pouting, and being angry. Super thrilled she ignored the invite, missed another event, and wasn’t in this episode. One step closer out the door with this unwrung mop.

Loved the swimwear this ep!

Edited March 18, 2021 by thesupremediva1

[Keywestclubkid]

OMG she is beyond to old to be that messy... 

[goofygirl]

I really LIKED this episode!!  That nutty Jennifer is on WWHL right now and she's going on her tequila black-out.  It made me laugh! And remember that tequila is terrible! Couple of margaritas, maybe; but those 10 shots??

Naaa. But Jen, you GO girl.

[pieinmyeye]

Jennifer might not remember the party, but I bet that’s one hangover she’ll never forget.

[goofygirl]

Hope springs eternal!

[Marley]

Can Jackie just be off the show now. I’m not team anyone lol but Hackie brings nothing and her not showing up just shows she’s not needed. I guess she doesn’t get how the show works. Or she really thinks high of herself and that ppl care she’s gone lol.

I think Joe Gorga does owe that guy money but basically there was nothing written down and that guy wants his wife to list Teresa’s house so he let it go. Joe Gorga is such a little dbag.

Jen was lit but she cracked me up. Margaret saying she has a drinking problem is pretty rude. Melissa seemed pleased Jen was leaving because Melissa is a little dbag herself.

Still liking Dolores and Frank. Lol at Frank saying he’s not breaking up any fights.

Teresa’s voice was extra annoying this episode. I thought something was wrong with my tv lol.

Edited March 18, 2021 by Marley

[LibertarianSlut]

This was the most uninspired episode I’ve seen since Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.  What did we have?  

JoeGo—the sixth cast member (I’m not including Jackie as a f/t cast member until she shows up to work) had an ambiguous birthday.  Wow, fun!  Did we know his birthday wish that Teresa invite Jackie to his pool party?  I wonder why that is. 🤔 Surely it has nothing, absolutely zero, to do with keeping that gravy train going so that something as absurd as Growing With Gorga can exist

Jennifer—she wants her sister to go to Turkey, but her mom might get mad and she’s got a ton of kids, one of whom looks healthy.....🚿🚿🚿I needed a shower to jostle myself awake

Dolores—she wants David to put a ring on it, but she’ll settle for more quality time 💤

Melissa—is just obsessed with all things Teresa Getting Laid and it’s getting a little creepy.  I guess the old saw that those who can’t do, urge is coming to life.  When was the last time the bitch had a storyline?  When she had a guy from church write a song for her about how hard it was to be On Display and Soul Diggaz put it to AutoTune in her basement?  Bitch ain’t relevant.  How many times must I repeat that?  (Ok, enough Melissa song puns for one paragraph, I concede). 😇

It’s crass the way that the Gorgas put their children’s sex education on camera, and it’s boring.  They have been having faux-outrage about it since they came on the show.  Melissa pretends to have the dilemma of the giant schism between Old School and New School Italian weighing on her (when you can most certainly see the hamster wheel running in her otherwise empty head), Joe insists his daughter will never have sex and nothing ever comes out of it.  Last season, in the ice cream shop, Antonia told them that she knew all about sex, and then used the words to prove it (this is when they were pretending to contemplate having another baby).  It’s time to give up the ghost that you two (or, da two of yah’s) are crushingly boring, and without Teresa you would be put out to pasture.  Or taken out back and shot, whichever is more expedient.  They should be worried more about their own nonexistent sex life.  

Melissa had to buy her nose, tits and hair—why didn’t they just throw the personality in there as four for the price of three?  It would have made my life a lot easier than having to discern her nasally bullshit.  She’s, I guess, mad that Michelle talked about her when prompted by Jennifer?  Isn’t that what people do at parties?  Why is the only one who is allowed to assert an opinion Jackie, in Melissa’s tiny mind?  Melissa, close your mouth, you’re catching flies, and get with the program.  No one gives a shit about you and nobody thinks you have money—you outed your own damn self in the Hamptons last season.  Get off my screen, you offend me with your amateurish behavior, you lout.  

I love how both the Gorgas attend a nice pool party at Teresa’s and both use the phrase “commere” to summon someone with whom they’re not happy.  Mellissa always bitches how pissed she will be if someone ruins a girls’ trip that she is on, even if it’s not “her” trip (Jamaica, Hamptons) but she and her small husband can wreak havoc at someone else’s pool party?  Getdafuckouddahere.  See, I can do it too.  

Teresa—IMO she fucked up by inviting Jackie to the pool party, and she lucked out that Jackie was too chicken to come, which was one more shovelful of dirt on Jackie’s grave as a cast member.  All Jackie should get from Teresa ever again is this:

Margaret—she is ghostwriting a book about her life on camera when we are tuning in to see her life unfold on camera.  Shit’s way too meta for me, and if I have to see the pic of Marge Sr in a crop top in the 70s ever again, I will write my own book about trauma!  I will give credit to Margaret on one front and one front alone—she knows she is not organically interesting, so she goes along to get along.  Damning with faint praise is the best I can do here.  She knows that she got first chair at last season’s reunion because an unwell person pulled her hair and Teresa orchestrated it.  If Teresa would have had nothing to do with that hair pull, Margaret’s ample ass would have been behind Melissa’s at the S10 reunion and she knows it, and she is dancing to whatever tune Teresa is humming.  I’m embarrassed enough that she doesn’t have to be that the best thing that ever happened to Margaret was that production aired film that wasn’t good enough to make it to the episode from the Steven Dann store at the finale.  

Since Jackie is an absent wuss, I’ll give a shout-out to Juicy—you didn’t go for Teresa’s money after all.  Pretty much everyone on the cast owes him an apology. 

Frank—find your way out from Joe Gorga’s ass and let Teresa invite whoever the fuck she wants to invite to her own damned party, including the really pretty real estate agent with the Madea smushy boobs.  

Tony—you get a shout-out as someone who had more screen time than that shallow, botoxed bag of bones, but if Joe Gorga is your best friend, I question your judgment.  

The pineapple—you are boring as hell, not interesting, not ironic, a proxy for Teresa’s nonexistent love life, yet you somehow still had more of a presence on this episode than half the husbands! 🍍

John—I give him so much credit for not laughing at a man who prefaces the conversation with “I always look good” while said man is donning a bracelet, white shorts, and a hot pink Hanes t-shirt.  I’m pretty sure I got a Barbie on sale once who was wearing said outfit  🤔.  Clearly John did not give a shit about Joe’s double-talk, because the fact of the matter is that his wife is going to get more money on the commission from selling Casa Giudice than John with ever make on Growing With Napoleon.  

Bill—why aren’t you crying bitch tears that your wife’s naked wasted nasty drunkenness is going to ruin you and your career?  Cause you’re not a whining bitch named Evan Goldschneider, I guess.   

This episode was an abomination.  Nothing happened, except stupidity and a few cute outfits (werk, Dolores!).  Teresa is playing this game at a higher level than she used to, and Melissa’s desperation for her to revert to season three Teresa with the “hot Italian temper” is palpable.  Remember that Voltaire quote that if there was no God, we would have to invent Him?  If there was no Teresa, Melissa would be spraying perfume at Dillard’s and she knows it, but her hatred of this fact is so much more blatant than Margaret’s, who has moved into the acceptance phase of grief—the grief of knowing that she is not a lead.  

I’m just gong to post a reminder that Jackie said she would never acknowledge Teresa ever again.  She stuck to it this week and if that’s winning (because Jackie won, y’all 😀) , losing must be a goddamned son of a gun!  I’m excited to see what happens next week...rubs hands in anticipation.  👏

[BrindaWalsh]

Okay.  Somebody help me.  WHAT did Margaret do to her face???

[thesupremediva1]

7 hours ago, BrindaWalsh said:

Okay.  Somebody help me.  WHAT did Margaret do to her face???

Legit she looks like a CGI creation. I thought I was wearing 4D glasses or something.

Edited March 18, 2021 by thesupremediva1

[ichbin]

I think the best part of the episode was the Tre and Juicy Joe FaceTime where they had what was probably the most mature and pleasant conversation we have ever been witness to.  

No, wait...that was the second best.  The best was the lack of Jackie. 

32 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

 If there was no Teresa, Melissa would be spraying perfume at Dillard’s and she knows it, but her hatred of this fact is so much more blatant than Margaret’s, who has moved into the acceptance phase of grief—the grief of knowing that she is not a lead.  

Sure seems that way.  I think Margaret also missed the optimal time to release that book by a season or two.  There's been a lot of gossip this week about a cast shake-up.  It wouldn't bother me in the least to see these two dropped down to "friend of" or less.  The one thing bothering me though is that Bravo has been featuring quite a few Wakile articles recently.  Let's hope they don't bring them back to give the Gorgas something to do.  

Jen comes off like a party drunk, not a raging alcoholic.  I'd like to see Margaret give the same type of concern to her own husband's drinking.  I haven't forgotten him vomiting his drinks on a tree a few weeks ago.  

 

 

 

[rustyspigot]

56 minutes ago, ichbin said:

Jen comes off like a party drunk, not a raging alcoholic.  I'd like to see Margaret give the same type of concern to her own husband's drinking.  I haven't forgotten him vomiting his drinks on a tree a few weeks ago.  

 

 

Agreed. What would Marge say of the Summer House cast?

Tre's voice. Yeah. Like if Fran Drescher inhaled helium and got caught in a bear trap.

Dolores films as much in that kithcen as Mary filmed in her closet on Salt Lake.

[Emmeline]

I do not understand why Dolores is so insistent on getting engaged.  She was engaged and married Frank and he certainly wasn’t committed.                        

 

Edited March 18, 2021 by Emmeline

[ichbin]

4 minutes ago, Emmeline said:

I would never buy a book about fashion from anyone, much less Marge.

I can't think of one time during her time on this show that I thought she was styled well.  She had the nerve to throw shade on Jen's clothing a few weeks ago while on WWHL saying something about Jen  buying her clothes from Amazon, and it was clearly meant as an insult. 

[TexasGal]

11 hours ago, pieinmyeye said:

Jennifer might not remember the party, but I bet that’s one hangover she’ll never forget.

I know that's right.  There's no hangover quite like a tequila hangover.

Margaret looked so much prettier when she meeting with her ghostwriter and didn't have a ton of makeup or fake lashes on.  And GASP a ghostwriter!?!  I hope no one from RHNY is watching.

[SweetieDarling]

13 hours ago, Stats Queen said:

Dolores’ boyfriend David is such a jerk. He’s used to getting his way no matter how unreasonable and Delores isn’t putting up with that crap - good for her.

I don't think he appreciates her bringing up their relationship issues on camera. Were no lessons learned from Betheny and Jason #1?-She kept bringing up moving in together on camera, and *poof* he was gone.

He shouldn't be rushed into a commitment he's unsure about. On the other hand, if she wants an engagement ring and he's dragging his feet about it and not moving fast enough for her, she should consider moving on. jmo.

[MaggieG]

Teresa's voice was annoying as ever

[SweetieDarling]

14 hours ago, Keywestclubkid said:

Has Teresa’s voice always been this screechy? Like it’s got this pitch 

I think it gets screechier when she drinks. I also think SHE's the one with the drinking problem, not Jen. Jen parties hard, but Teresa was the one wanted to drink in the am at Lake George.

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

I think the best part of the episode was the Tre and Juicy Joe FaceTime where they had what was probably the most mature and pleasant conversation we have ever been witness to.  

He neither looked nor sounded like himself! I had to rewind and pause.

[Baltimore Betty]

2 hours ago, MaggieG said:

Teresa's voice was annoying as ever

OMG! YES! I thought it was just me but OMG, she sounds horrible.  Remember when she used to do that high pitched squeal as in "ain't I the cutest thing in shoe leather!?"  I have come to the conclusion that she is stupid and I am pea green with envy that someone so stupid has so much money, do not try to tell me she is a savvy business woman who plays dumb, she is not playing.

 

[jkitty]

I just want to know how New Jersey cured COVID... why didn’t they share this info with the rest of us? I mean these parties.  JFC. 

[TattleTeeny]

38 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

OMG! YES! I thought it was just me but OMG, she sounds horrible.  Remember when she used to do that high pitched squeal as in "ain't I the cutest thing in shoe leather!?"  I have come to the conclusion that she is stupid and I am pea green with envy that someone so stupid has so much money, do not try to tell me she is a savvy business woman who plays dumb, she is not playing.

 

RHs aside, have you recently watched Gone With the Wind?

[Baltimore Betty]

5 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

RHs aside, have you recently watched Gone With the Wind?

One of my all time fave movies...fiddle dee dee.

[TattleTeeny]

Haha, same here. And excuse me while I go do all my eatin' at the barbecue...I'll never get through the day without belching.

[LibertarianSlut]

18 hours ago, ichbin said:

I think the best part of the episode was the Tre and Juicy Joe FaceTime where they had what was probably the most mature and pleasant conversation we have ever been witness to.  

No, wait...that was the second best.  The best was the lack of Jackie. 

Tre and Juicy were great on the phone together; still pals with chemistry.  

Best part of epi was definitely no Jackie, and as the cherry on top, I’d just like to point out that the support from the rest of the cast continues to wane. Regardless of how much Melissa stands up for Jackie, she and Joe still started laughing when Teresa suggested that Jackie should give it to Evan up the ass and then maybe he wouldn’t go cheating.  Jackie’s blood vessels must have burst when she saw that, in addition to the footage at the beggining of the ep, when Melissa told Joe that she didn’t think Tre invented the story about Evan. Melissa said “I believe she heard it” and then went on to have an issue based solely on the way Teresa delivered the news.  Thin-skinned Jackie, whenever she resurfaces, is going to turn into a mannequin about this “betrayal.”  I think Jackie expected total loyalty from Melissa, and this was not that.  Melissa “this motherfucker is winning” Gorga has headed for greener pastures 💰.
 

18 hours ago, ichbin said:

Jen comes off like a party drunk, not a raging alcoholic.  I'd like to see Margaret give the same type of concern to her own husband's drinking.  I haven't forgotten him vomiting his drinks on a tree a few weeks ago.  

<Nodding thoughtfully>.  Margaret has been machine-gunning for Jennifer since season nine, when Jennifer had the audacity to talk about the sunset in Paramus when they were looking at the sunset in Oklahoma.  This has nothing to do with “serious drinking issue problems” as Marge puts it; this has to do with her vendetta against Jen and the fact that Jen didn’t co-sign Marge Sr’s facilitation of adultery at the vineyard. I don’t think any of them have “serious drinking issue problems,” but the one who appears to drink the most right now is Teresa, as @SweetieDarling pointed out.  She was the one getting sloshy at 11am on “Margarent’s” trip to Lake George, and she was the one who played a part in Margaret’s hair tug last season when she was drunk.  But we’ll never hear a word about that, because, to Marge, Jennifer is a peon and Teresa is the Don.  Margaret is continuing Siggy’s season eight behavior of picking winners and losers based not on their behavior, but where they are on the pecking order.  Not cool, Pigtails!
 

 

Edited March 18, 2021 by LibertarianSlut
Typos

[BrindaWalsh]

JHC this episode was boring.  I kept checking my watch to see when it was going to end.  I am also not understanding the purpose of this realtor storyline.  Are they testing her and the british assistant to see how the audience responds?  I'm going to give them both a big fat thumbs down. 

Here's my thought on Jackie.  While her sensibilities are still all offended, she's making the wrong move by not joining these gatherings.  Because Father Andy doesn't like that shit.   You show up and fight some more.  Or maybe you pull out once.  But not continuously.  And her cherry picking who she's willing to talk and film with isn't enough either because nothing happens that way.  Hell, her shoot with Melissa didn't even make it to screen, they showed maybe 8 seconds of it.  She should know better.  You show up for the drama no matter who is the target.  

Okay.  Now.  Can we please talk about the fashion choices at a pool party?  Because that was one of the most tragic things I've ever seen.  WHAT were all those people WEARING and WHY would they do that to themselves?  I'm asking this so sincerely.  I don't get it.

It must be absolutely exhausting spending that much time and money on looking that absolutely terrible.  

 

 

 

[Emmeline]

3 hours ago, SweetieDarling said:

I don't think he appreciates her bringing up their relationship issues on camera. Were no lessons learned from Betheny and Jason #1?-She kept bringing up moving in together on camera, and *poof* he was gone.

He shouldn't be rushed into a commitment he's unsure about. On the other hand, if she wants an engagement ring and he's dragging his feet about it and not moving fast enough for her, she should consider moving on. jmo.

I agree with you.  He clearly doesn’t want his every move documented on camera.  I can’t blame him for not wanting to accompany Delores to all the parties on camera.  If they got engaged it would be pulling him further into the fray.  
 

 

[BrindaWalsh]

David is never going to propose to Dolores.  He will have a million reasons why and keep moving the goal post. But he will never propose.  Cameras or not.  Dolores has some choices to make.

[bichonblitz]

Real Estate husband made a classy move. He knew he was being filmed, didn't want to come off looking like an asshole so decided to take the high road even though you know he thinks Gorga is a dirtbag. And yeah, on a 3 million property his wife will make somewhere in the vicinity of $100,000 in commission. So win, win for him and Gorga comes out looking like the cheapskate shyster he is. 

[ichbin]

16 hours ago, LibertarianSlut said:

...including the really pretty real estate agent with the Madea smushy boobs.  

 

13 minutes ago, BrindaWalsh said:

Okay.  Now.  Can we please talk about the fashion choices at a pool party?  Because that was one of the most tragic things I've ever seen.  WHAT were all those people WEARING and WHY would they do that to themselves?  I'm asking this so sincerely.  I don't get it.

It must be absolutely exhausting spending that much time and money on looking that absolutely terrible.  

There is that huge mirror in Tre's house. A trip to that could have been beneficial to a number of the guests.  

[FozzyBear]

I think Jen isn’t good at pacing herself, especially with hard liquor. I can relate. When I drink something like tequila it can have a “sober, sober, sober, oh shit everything just hit me at once I’m too drunk and it’s too late to do anything about it.” effect. I think Jen had a stressful time at home and cut loose and it all hit her at once instead of gradually like if she had been drinking beer or wine. Embarrassing, sure. But no worse than the guys weekend before. Marge can sit down with her concern. She’s the type of woman who weaponizes concern, especially against other women. I bet she has all types of “concerns” about women she doesn’t like.

[bichonblitz]

Jackie is going to distance herself right off the show if she doesn't start thinking before saying no to invites and phone calls. She should have gone to Tre's pool party. I doubt she'll be back next season.  

[Baltimore Betty]

1 hour ago, BrindaWalsh said:

Okay.  Now.  Can we please talk about the fashion choices at a pool party?  Because that was one of the most tragic things I've ever seen.  WHAT were all those people WEARING and WHY would they do that to themselves?  I'm asking this so sincerely.  I don't get it.

I know, it was a parade of schmatas.

Margaret looking like a bag lady in her get up, so much going on there.

Melissa did not even bother to wear anything other than a an open robe over a high cut maillot althought if I had her body I would be doing that too.

Tre looking like a trussed up ham, per usual.

The real estate chick looking like she was itchy from standing in the hot sun in a gold lame dress.

Jennifer looking a bit chunky in a monokini. She was lucky that she did not chip a tooth when she face planted.

Remind me what Delores did to her body, it looks no different than previous seasons.

I guess we missed out on whatever acid washed denim outfit Jackie would have worn to the pool party.

 

[Hiyo]

“It must be absolutely exhausting spending that much time and money on looking that absolutely terrible.”

Well, it is a HWs show...more often than not, the lewks do fall on the side of terrible rather than stylish...

[Baltimore Betty]

17 minutes ago, Hiyo said:

“It must be absolutely exhausting spending that much time and money on looking that absolutely terrible.”

Well, it is a HWs show...more often than not, the lewks do fall on the side of terrible rather than stylish...

As long as it has a designer logo it must be good, right? 

"Even Gucci makes mistakes" tm Countess Luann, best line ever uttered on the subject of HW fashions.

[TV Diva Queen]

14 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

As long as it has a designer logo it must be good, right? 

"Even Gucci makes mistakes" tm Countess Luann, best line ever uttered on the subject of HW fashions.

small voice/ but she said Louis Vuitton  and I agree with you. Best line ever.  🙂  🙂

 

 

[Hiyo]

Actually, that was Louis Vuitton. Even the (former) Countess knows Gucci doesn’t make mistakes 😉

 

[TheCouchPotato]

My husband asked “Why do you like this show? If you ever went to a pool party with women like this, you’d be running out asking for a tetanus shot.” 
So true...but man, are they entertaining. Need several if I ever went to that bachelorette party on RHOA. 

 

Edited March 18, 2021 by TheCouchPotato

[Gigi43]

So Jennifer's mom won't go to Turkey if the father goes? Is this grandson never allowed to have grandma and grandpa in the same room? She was saying her husband turned the family against her but it seems like she's the one making it a choice and actively involving the other family members, including children. Jennifer's kids need to get off their asses and clear plates. 

 

I'd much rather watch Joey and Gino try to make Pina Colada's over anything involving Jackie. However, Antonia does not need her parents talking about having sex talks with her. Ew. She has to face not just her friend but the boyfriend and his parents after this shit airs. To say JoeGo is a caveman is an insult to cavemen because they literally had no way of knowing better and they invented their own tools and fire; Joe hasn't accomplished shit. 

 

Joe continues to have weird ass sex conversations about his sister. Who talks about the pineapple thing with their sister then spread it? I will never be able to stand the sight of Melissa's sisters because of how they came on with guns blazing. Joe Gorga is full of shit that John did whatever work he did for the big publicity of working with Joe. John made the right move to let it go in exchange for Michelle selling the house.

 

I wasn't expecting JoeGi to pop up, especially in a civil phone call with Tre. 

 

What is Jackie's end game here? Never face Teresa? That's not possible. What was that "I'm not going to bring my husband to her pool." Does Evan feel in danger from Teresa? It was Marge and JoeB who have the record of pushing people in the pool. JoeB said he heard women talking about the Evan rumor now Melissa and Joe have said they don't think Teresa made it up and heard it somewhere (could be production, granted.) Maybe that's why Jackie's in a twist, this is talked about. Michelle and John seem lined up to take Jackie and Evan's place if Jackie doesn't wise up and show up to events.

 

 

[JAYJAY1979]

Jackie could take a page out of Meredith Mark's book...and show up and disengage when being yelled at...or come wearing a quirky fashion accessory that has everyone talking.

Instead she's pulling an Aviva..and we know what happened there.

Jennifer...I could be drinking buddies with her lol.

[Stats Queen]

13 minutes ago, JAYJAY1979 said:

Jackie could take a page out of Meredith Mark's book...and show up and disengage when being yelled at...or come wearing a quirky fashion accessory that has everyone talking.

Instead she's pulling an Aviva..and we know what happened there.

Jennifer...I could be drinking buddies with her lol.

Aviva at least had a leg to throw,

I could be drinking buddies with Jennifer also, maybe I was and I don’t remember. 🤣 (Honestly, I never, ever need to get that drunk again).

[stcroix]

Have Joe and Melissa always had that Jersey Shore house with the pool? Or was that a rental?  Seems like if they'd owned it, it would have been featured before now and with other housewives partying around that pool!