Who, What, When, Where?!: Miscellaneous Celebrity News 2.0

[proserpina65]

1 minute ago, Vermicious Knid said:

Sumner said in one post Adam told her his marriage was over and she believed him

Yeah, right.

I'll be clear here.  I think he's reprehensible, but so is she.

Edited September 22, 2022 by proserpina65

[bluegirl147]

28 minutes ago, Vermicious Knid said:

Sumner said in one post Adam told her his marriage was over and she believed him. Here it is.

Most cheating men say that to the women they want to cheat with.  This woman believed what she wanted to believe.

[Cinnabon]

35 minutes ago, proserpina65 said:

I'm fine with blaming BOTH parties equally.  The other woman is just as responsible.

I don't think they're evil temptresses.  I think they're pieces of shit, just like the men who cheat with them.  They have just as much choice.

Only the married person had taken vows to their partner. 🤷‍♀️

[janie jones]

I think that just because the other woman/man did something shitty, it doesn't mean they are to blame for an affair. It's not that person's fault the cheater can't stay faithful. I wonder if by pointing out age discrepancies, Emily Ratajowski's point isn't to infantilize, but to say that the cheaters are seeking the affair partner out, not being tempted by sirens.

Some of you may be interested in the book Female Chauvinist Pigs , which addresses the sort of raunchy feminism mentioned in posts above. It's almost twenty years old, though, and I read it when it first came out, so I don't know how dated it is.

[Crashcourse]

Sumner knew Adam Levine was a dog.  She agreed to be his bitch.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Except even a beagle knows not to shit where it eats.

[Cinnabon]

1 hour ago, janie jones said:

I think that just because the other woman/man did something shitty, it doesn't mean they are to blame for an affair. It's not that person's fault the cheater can't stay faithful. I wonder if by pointing out age discrepancies, Emily Ratajowski's point isn't to infantilize, but to say that the cheaters are seeking the affair partner out, not being tempted by sirens.

Some of you may be interested in the book Female Chauvinist Pigs , which addresses the sort of raunchy feminism mentioned in posts above. It's almost twenty years old, though, and I read it when it first came out, so I don't know how dated it is.

I’ve actually tried to borrow that book on Libby, but now my local library doesn’t have any more copies, lol. I may look elsewhere. 

5 minutes ago, Cobalt Stargazer said:

Except even a beagle knows not to shit where it eats.

Did they work together?

[Popples]

[SnapHappy]

1 hour ago, Crashcourse said:

Sumner knew Adam Levine was a dog.  She agreed to be his bitch.

As long as she doesn't have a litter of his pups.  We don't need another Nick Cannon.

Edited September 22, 2022 by SnapHappy

[pinkandsparkly13]

I know the blame should be put on the married person for cheating, because yeah they took vows and blah blah blah. But I don't get why the other person shouldn't be called out or whatever, if they KNEW the person was married. I think they should get some flack. And this is coming from someone who was the other woman at one point. I was also in my 20's and he was in his late 30's. People can drag me all they want lol. I know it was wrong. I'm in a relationship now, and I don't want someone coming after my bf knowing that he has me. 

[Mabinogia]

5 minutes ago, pinkandsparkly13 said:

I know the blame should be put on the married person for cheating, because yeah they took vows and blah blah blah.

The way I look at it is, the single one who chooses to have sex with someone married isn't making a great choice, but they aren't betraying someone they promised to be faithful to the way the married person has. For me, personally, trust is very important. I could forgive the cheating, but I can't forgive the lying. I would never be able to trust my husband again and it is that betrayal that would hit me way harder than him screwing someone else. So that's why I don't have as much problem with the mistress as the husband. She made no promises (unless she's in a relationship too and cheating on her SO). Of course, it is different if the mistress and the wife know each other. Then the poor wife has two people in her life that she can no longer trust. 

The one who broke their vow is naturally the one more at fault. The one who took advantage of the fact that the vow breaker is a lying, cheating horndog is just guilty of taking advantage of a creep.

[Bastet]

23 minutes ago, pinkandsparkly13 said:

But I don't get why the other person shouldn't be called out or whatever, if they KNEW the person was married. I think they should get some flack.

Oh, of course -- knowingly sleeping with someone who has promised monogamy to another is a shitty thing to do.  It's just that being the one breaking vows is far worse.  Yet in some circles it's the woman with whom a man cheated who gets the bulk of the scrutiny and scorn, when it should be the opposite, and that's what gets called out -- not that she gets flak, period, but if she gets disproportionate flak.

[Mabinogia]

6 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Yet in some circles it's the woman with whom a man cheated who gets the bulk of the scrutiny and scorn, when it should be the opposite, and that's what gets called out -- not that she gets flak, period, but if she gets disproportionate flak.

Well put. Because no matter how much she flirted with him, no matter how many nudes she sent him, no matter how many ways she said she would ride him, HE is the one who chose to break the vow he made to his wife and take her up on her offer. 

Unless there is evidence that she raped him, it was 100% his choice to cheat on his wife. Just because a woman throws herself at a man doesn't mean that man has to screw her. What I judge her on more is her need to share the affair with the world. Sure, he is a bad husband, but airing the dirty laundry isn't just hurting him. 

[Irlandesa]

If she had come out and said that she knew he was married, knew he might not be telling the whole truth but made a calculated risk to believe him because she wanted to?  I'd actually be okay with it.  Or that she didn't think things through.  I think that's fair because she IS young.

There's always a calculated risk our partners are lying to us and there's always a leap of faith, especially the less we know the other person before getting intimate.

It was the "I'm a victim" that really ticked me off and made me have thoughts about her. I didn't before.  About either of them, really.  If his wife has decided it's not an issue (and considering the pap walk they did--it's probably more likely than we think), then I don't care. 

Edited September 22, 2022 by Irlandesa

[Cinnabon]

1 hour ago, pinkandsparkly13 said:

I know the blame should be put on the married person for cheating, because yeah they took vows and blah blah blah. But I don't get why the other person shouldn't be called out or whatever, if they KNEW the person was married. I think they should get some flack. And this is coming from someone who was the other woman at one point. I was also in my 20's and he was in his late 30's. People can drag me all they want lol. I know it was wrong. I'm in a relationship now, and I don't want someone coming after my bf knowing that he has me. 

 Coming after? No one can catch him unless HE opens the door. 

28 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Yet in some circles it's the woman with whom a man cheated who gets the bulk of the scrutiny and scorn, when it should be the opposite, and that's what gets called out -- not that she gets flak, period, but if she gets disproportionate flak.

Edited September 22, 2022 by Cinnabon

[pinkandsparkly13]

1 hour ago, Cinnabon said:

 Coming after? No one can catch him unless HE opens the door. 

Oh FFS I know that. But does that mean it's okay for anyone to knowingly pursue someone that's in a relationship/married? They're not in the wrong at all? If they cheat, then yes that is on them. But sorry that I wouldn't like it if someone is, yeah like I said, "coming after" my bf. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Mabinogia]

3 minutes ago, pinkandsparkly13 said:

But sorry that I wouldn't like it if someone is, yeah like I said, "coming after" my bf. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sure it would be annoying but unless your BF is willing to cheat on you, there is no affair happening no matter how badly she wants it. 

No one is saying the mistress is blameless, it is just that in sleeping with a married man she hurt someone she's never met. In his sleeping with her he has betrayed and hurt the woman he claims to love. I am far more hurt when someone I love betrays me than when someone I've never met does.

Bottom line is, even if she "came after him" he could have said no but he chose not to. There is a double standard mentality that claims that men can't resist women. That's not true, it's just the crutch they have used for centuries to blame women for their infidelity and that is what some of us were responding to (at least that's what I was). 

I do not hold either party blameless. I just think that cheating on someone you love is worse than cheating on someone you don't know. 

[Cinnabon]

1 hour ago, pinkandsparkly13 said:

Oh FFS I know that. But does that mean it's okay for anyone to knowingly pursue someone that's in a relationship/married? They're not in the wrong at all? If they cheat, then yes that is on them. But sorry that I wouldn't like it if someone is, yeah like I said, "coming after" my bf. 🤷🏼‍♀️

If they approached him and he said no, I’d hope that would be the end of it. There are all kinds of people and relationships out there, not all are monogamous. If you and your partner are solid and have clear boundaries, I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. An outsider doesn’t know what kind of relationship a man/woman is in until that person makes it clear. 

Edited September 23, 2022 by Cinnabon

[MissAlmond]

Former Riverdale and Diary of a Wimpy Kid actor Ryan Grantham sentenced to life for the murder of his mother.

https://deadline.com/2022/09/riverdale-actor-murder-sentence-ryan-grantham-killed-mother-vancouver-1235125270/

https://people.com/movies/diary-of-a-wimpy-kid-and-riverdale-actor-ryan-grantham-sentenced-to-life-for-killing-his-mother/

https://www.thewrap.com/riverdale-actor-ryan-grantham-gets-life-in-prison-for-murdering-mom/

Edited September 23, 2022 by MissAlmond

[janie jones]

16 hours ago, pinkandsparkly13 said:

Oh FFS I know that. But does that mean it's okay for anyone to knowingly pursue someone that's in a relationship/married? They're not in the wrong at all? If they cheat, then yes that is on them. But sorry that I wouldn't like it if someone is, yeah like I said, "coming after" my bf. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I mean I wouldn't like it either, but only because I know that he will shut it down, and if they still pursue him after he shuts them down, then we're dealing with a harassment situation, not an other woman situation, and I don't want my husband to be harassed.

If it's a one-and-done shoot-your-shot situation, I don't think it's worse if the person knows he's married than if they don't. Just more of a "WTF, people are crazy."

[proserpina65]

23 hours ago, Cinnabon said:

Only the married person had taken vows to their partner. 🤷‍♀️

I don't care.  Anyone who has an affair with someone they know is married is just as bad, imo.  I do not absolve the other woman/man of responsibility for their actions.

2 hours ago, janie jones said:

I don't think it's worse if the person knows he's married than if they don't.

I do think it's worse if they know the other person is married.

[Cinnabon]

1 hour ago, proserpina65 said:

I don't care.  Anyone who has an affair with someone they know is married is just as bad, imo.  I do not absolve the other woman/man of responsibility for their actions.

I do think it's worse if they know the other person is married.

Again, not all relationships or marriages are monogamous. . . 

[SuprSuprElevated]

10 minutes ago, Cinnabon said:

Again, not all relationships or marriages are monogamous. . . 

B-b-but if I'm in an open marriage or relationship, shouldn't I be made aware of that, lol?   

[Bethany]

3 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

B-b-but if I'm in an open marriage or relationship, shouldn't I be made aware of that, lol?   

Exactly!  I am betting "hey I'm in an open marriage" is edging out "my spouse doesn't understand me"  in the excuses cheaters use when they're trying to cheat department.

[Quof]

"I think we should see other people" = "ha ha, I already am"

[Bastet]

An auction of "an exclusive collection of over 1,500 lots" of Betty White's "awards, scripts, wardrobe and memorabilia from her iconic television shows and films, as well as furnishings, artwork, fine jewelry, household and personal items from her beloved homes in Brentwood and Carmel, California" started today.  You can access the online catalogue here. 

It's 1300 pages, with not much I'd actually bid on - although I am actively talking myself out of a vintage watch based on its cost - but it's fun to flip through.  Even more animal figurines and animal-themed decor than you could ever imagine.  Lots of jewelry, and I love that it's a mix of costume and the good stuff (she wore fake diamonds to the Emmys more than once).  Tons of Hollywood memorabilia, of course, including a funny note from Golden Girls co-star Rue McLanahan (see page 643 of that online catalogue):

Rue tore a Science Diet (pet food) ad Betty had done out of a magazine, and sent it to her with a note reading "Dear Betty, I was at the liquor store, leafing through a copy of 'Gang Dolls', when I came across this libelous picture of you.  I am writing the editor a nasty letter, because I will NEVER believe these are your true dimensions.* Your friend, Ruesy".

The * at the bottom of the letter?  "Maybe if you lay off the Science Diet, you can lose a little by July.  xxxLove".

[Annber03]

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

Exactly!  I am betting "hey I'm in an open marriage" is edging out "my spouse doesn't understand me"  in the excuses cheaters use when they're trying to cheat department.

Having watched a lot of true crime shows, I could believe that. You'd be amazed at how many people will use the "open marriage" excuse to explain away any potential affairs that investigators may discover when talking to the surviving spouse. And of course the spouse is going around making that claim after their husband or wife is dead, naturally, and thus unable to either confirm or deny that claim. 

[Cinnabon]

2 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

B-b-but if I'm in an open marriage or relationship, shouldn't I be made aware of that, lol?   

Absolutely!

1 hour ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

Exactly!  I am betting "hey I'm in an open marriage" is edging out "my spouse doesn't understand me"  in the excuses cheaters use when they're trying to cheat department.

I don’t disagree,  but the fact remains that not all relationships are monogamous. Some people don’t seem to grasp this.

[DearEvette]

5 hours ago, proserpina65 said:

I don't care.  Anyone who has an affair with someone they know is married is just as bad, imo.  I do not absolve the other woman/man of responsibility for their actions.

Agreed.  You can condemn them equally but for different things.  The married one for cheating on his/her spouse and the lover (if they are aware the other person is married) for knowingly participating in something objectively wrong.

They are both guilty of deceit, the cheater for deceiving their spouse, the lover for aiding in the deceit. And that of course assumes the lover themselves are not also in another relationship where they too are cheating.

Circling back to Emily Ratajkowski's statement re: Adam Levine,  I think she has a general and valid point because of a lot of people still have that mindset of blaming the other woman, but in this case I feel that she is reading the room wrong.  From what I have seen he is being blamed the most for the cheating.  I am not getting a 'blame the homewrecker' vibe from the majority of the comments.  The gf is getting (imo rightly) condemned as well but not so  much being blamed for his cheating but the scorn toward her is largely because she is trying to reposition herself as a victim rather than a willing participant.  She simply does not come off as credible and trying to reframe herself as a victim is alienating. 

Interestingly, in the other high profile cheating scandal that broke this week with Ime Udoka (the head coach of the Celtics) the other woman is almost completely absent from the conversation.  Mainly because her identity is unknown and also because his long time partner Nia Long is the one being cheated on.  I think the make up of the participants also have something to do with how the cheating is perceived.  In this case Nia Long is a well loved, fully stanned member of black Hollywood.  The outrage on her behalf is what is driving a lot of the condemnation of Ime.  In this case the other woman isn't really even the story.

[Blergh]

14 hours ago, Bastet said:

An auction of "an exclusive collection of over 1,500 lots" of Betty White's "awards, scripts, wardrobe and memorabilia from her iconic television shows and films, as well as furnishings, artwork, fine jewelry, household and personal items from her beloved homes in Brentwood and Carmel, California" started today.  You can access the online catalogue here. 

It's 1300 pages, with not much I'd actually bid on - although I am actively talking myself out of a vintage watch based on its cost - but it's fun to flip through.  Even more animal figurines and animal-themed decor than you could ever imagine.  Lots of jewelry, and I love that it's a mix of costume and the good stuff (she wore fake diamonds to the Emmys more than once).  Tons of Hollywood memorabilia, of course, including a funny note from Golden Girls co-star Rue McLanahan (see page 643 of that online catalogue):

Rue tore a Science Diet (pet food) ad Betty had done out of a magazine, and sent it to her with a note reading "Dear Betty, I was at the liquor store, leafing through a copy of 'Gang Dolls', when I came across this libelous picture of you.  I am writing the editor a nasty letter, because I will NEVER believe these are your true dimensions.* Your friend, Ruesy".

The * at the bottom of the letter?  "Maybe if you lay off the Science Diet, you can lose a little by July.  xxxLove".

That's interesting that this is happening. However, if  you could tell me who is organizing and/or benefiting from this, I'd be most appreciative.

Since Miss White was able to live quite comfortably (and be well cared for) from the bounty of her decades long performing career in the last part of her life, she'd have had no need to have auctioned off what it appears to have been some of her most treasured mementos during her own lifetime.

She had been an only child and I've never heard of her having had any strong ties to any possible cousins so I'm wondering if the previously deceased Mr. Ludden's children (and /or grandchildren) could be Miss White's heirs, perhaps her staff and/or could it have been she had set this up to benefit her favorite animal charities and causes?

I'd be interested to find out!

P.S. Since this is taking place in Carmel could Miss White have become friends with the seacoast community's more famous animal-loving resident the late Doris Day who had been only four months Miss White's junior?

[Notabug]

1 hour ago, Blergh said:

That's interesting that this is happening. However, if  you could tell me who is organizing and/or benefiting from this, I'd be most appreciative.

Since Miss White was able to live quite comfortably (and be well cared for) from the bounty of her decades long performing career in the last part of her life, she'd have had no need to have auctioned off what it appears to have been some of her most treasured mementos during her own lifetime.

She had been an only child and I've never heard of her having had any strong ties to any possible cousins so I'm wondering if the previously deceased Mr. Ludden's children (and /or grandchildren) could be Miss White's heirs, perhaps her staff and/or could it have been she had set this up to benefit her favorite animal charities and causes?

I'd be interested to find out!

P.S. Since this is taking place in Carmel could Miss White have become friends with the seacoast community's more famous animal-loving resident the late Doris Day who had been only four months Miss White's junior?

I believe Ms. White put her estate into a trust so there won't be any probate which limits public information about her heirs.  Speculation is that most of her estate is going to be distributed amongst various charities for animals that she supported.  I expect that she'd want everything down to the last toothpick sold off to benefit her animal friends.

[janie jones]

I don't think it's worse if the person knows he's married than if they don't.

I do think it's worse if they know the other person is married.

I feel like I should clarify my comment. I don't think it's worse for me/my husband/my relationship if someone hitting on my husband knows he's (monogamously) married. I think the flirter is a shittier person if they do know. But the effect is no different if they know or don't know.

[Bastet]

4 hours ago, Blergh said:

P.S. Since this is taking place in Carmel could Miss White have become friends with the seacoast community's more famous animal-loving resident the late Doris Day who had been only four months Miss White's junior?

The auction is taking place in Beverly Hills, not Carmel.  But White had a home in Carmel (and one in Brentwood; they sold for nearly $11 million each).  And, yes, she knew Doris Day; Day was one of the guests on White's show Pet Set (on which fellow celebrity animal advocates appeared with their pets).  There are some pictures of the two of them included in the auction, IIRC.

3 hours ago, Notabug said:

I believe Ms. White put her estate into a trust so there won't be any probate which limits public information about her heirs.  Speculation is that most of her estate is going to be distributed amongst various charities for animals that she supported.  I expect that she'd want everything down to the last toothpick sold off to benefit her animal friends.

As do I, since she frequently said she did show business to keep up with her animal business.  She was involved with animal and environmental charities around the world (and was tickled to be named an honorary forest ranger by the National Forest Service), and I'm sure they will be significant beneficiaries of her estate. 

[merylinkid]

I too wonder who decided this -- because her WEDDING RING is one of the things being auctioned off.   Surely a family member would want to keep that as a memento?    

[Shannon L.]

59 minutes ago, merylinkid said:

I too wonder who decided this -- because her WEDDING RING is one of the things being auctioned off.   Surely a family member would want to keep that as a memento?    

She was an only child with no biological children of her own.  A quick google search says she was close to her 3 step children, but I'm not sure if they'd want their stepmother's wedding ring.  Maybe, but we also don't know how involved they were in this. 

[SnapHappy]

2 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

She was an only child with no biological children of her own.  A quick google search says she was close to her 3 step children, but I'm not sure if they'd want their stepmother's wedding ring.  Maybe, but we also don't know how involved they were in this. 

And what was Betty's was Betty's to do with as she pleased.  I'd think she'd prefer the dollars for the diamonds go to the doggies & the dolphins and the deer & the dingos!  *LOL*

Humans can buy their own jewelry, but animals can't buy their own food.  I'm glad her estate is going to a cause that brought her so much joy.  

[Blergh]

11 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

She was an only child with no biological children of her own.  A quick google search says she was close to her 3 step children, but I'm not sure if they'd want their stepmother's wedding ring.  Maybe, but we also don't know how involved they were in this. 

Yes, but their FATHER,  Mr. Ludden had put it on Miss White's hand so it's family history.

Although, I have no idea if they'd kept the nuptial ring of  their own previously deceased mother(  Margaret McGloin Ludden [1915-1961]) .

[Notabug]

9 minutes ago, Blergh said:

Yes, but their FATHER,  Mr. Ludden had put it on Miss White's hand so it's family history.

Although, I have no idea if they'd kept the nuptial ring of  their own previously deceased mother(  Margaret McGloin Ludden [1915-1961]) .

Betty lived to be 99, there was more than enough time for one of her stepkids to ask her for the ring if they wanted it.  I presume that, since they were close, that they were aware of her plans for her estate and had the chance to request anything they wanted.

Some people are just not sentimental about things like jewelry.  Or, maybe she had other pieces they liked better.

I'm one of 6 kids.  When my mother died, my father asked if any of us wanted her rings.  They were a nice set, probably not anywhere as nice as Betty's, but nice.  None of us felt sentimental about her wedding rings, not even my father.  The rings stayed on her finger.

Edited September 26, 2022 by Notabug

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Blergh said:

Yes, but their FATHER,  Mr. Ludden had put it on Miss White's hand so it's family history.

Not really in my opinion. Betty was part of their family history but the ring may just be a piece of jewelry. Plus the ring is very taste specific and, in my opinion, ugly. I’m sure it suited Betty but there are probably aren’t a lot of people who want to wear it. 

[Duke2801]

On 9/22/2022 at 5:42 PM, Cobalt Stargazer said:

Except even a beagle knows not to shit where it eats.

Did they work together? if not, I’m unclear on how this analogy applies.
 

Unless it’s just a clever way to compare a woman to a dog (as several others in this discussion have). 

And we wonder why misogyny is still running rampant in our society. 

[proserpina65]

On 9/23/2022 at 5:24 PM, Cinnabon said:

Again, not all relationships or marriages are monogamous. . . 

Presumably both partners KNOW that the marriage is not monogamous and thus no one is cheating.  In monogamous marriages where one partner is cheating, the other woman/man is equally responsible as long as he/she knows the person is married.

Clearly the rest of us are not talking about open marriages.

On 9/23/2022 at 7:39 PM, Cinnabon said:

Some people don’t seem to grasp this.

We grasp it just fine but it doesn't actually apply to the discussion at hand because we are talking about people who ARE cheating on their spouses, not people in open marriages.

[andromeda331]

On 9/23/2022 at 3:47 PM, Elizabeth Anne said:

Exactly!  I am betting "hey I'm in an open marriage" is edging out "my spouse doesn't understand me"  in the excuses cheaters use when they're trying to cheat department.

 My question is always is your spouse aware their in a open marriage.

[SnapHappy]

2 hours ago, Duke2801 said:

Did they work together? if not, I’m unclear on how this analogy applies.
 

Unless it’s just a clever way to compare a woman to a dog (as several others in this discussion have). 

And we wonder why misogyny is still running rampant in our society. 

Men and women are both compared to dogs in negative situations.  But the term "bitch" differentiates the female from the male in many carnivorous mammals. 

Not necessarily misogynistic but definitely terms that indicate animals that have no sentient, moral or higher-level thoughts or actions, they just behave according to their baser appetites.  I'd say that applies to both of them. 

Edited September 26, 2022 by SnapHappy

[KittyMom4]

13 hours ago, Dani said:

Not really in my opinion. Betty was part of their family history but the ring may just be a piece of jewelry. Plus the ring is very taste specific and, in my opinion, ugly. I’m sure it suited Betty but there are probably aren’t a lot of people who want to wear it.

Thanks for saying what I was thinking @Dani! I'll be honest, most of the jewelry was not of my taste, as well as most of the furnishings. Very dated.

[Crs97]

Betty’s step kids are in their 70’s.  I really think we’d be talking more about whether the great grandchildren want the wedding rings.  I’m not surprised they aren’t asking to keep them.

[Cinnabon]

7 hours ago, Duke2801 said:

Did they work together? if not, I’m unclear on how this analogy applies.
 

Unless it’s just a clever way to compare a woman to a dog (as several others in this discussion have). 

And we wonder why misogyny is still running rampant in our society. 

I asked the same question. . . 

4 hours ago, proserpina65 said:

Presumably both partners KNOW that the marriage is not monogamous and thus no one is cheating.  In monogamous marriages where one partner is cheating, the other woman/man is equally responsible as long as he/she knows the person is married.

Clearly the rest of us are not talking about open marriages.

We grasp it just fine but it doesn't actually apply to the discussion at hand because we are talking about people who ARE cheating on their spouses, not people in open marriages.

Some people are clutching their pearls over other women approaching their husbands/boyfriends. Those women may not know before they approach the men if they’re in open relationships or not. If they’re not, presumably those men will simply state that they’re in monogamous relationships and not interested. If they don’t make that clear, it’s on THEM. Make sense?

Edited September 26, 2022 by Cinnabon

[MadyGirl1987]

I think if you knowingly sleep with someone’s significant other(assuming there isn’t an open relationship deal you would ideally confirm is legit) you are a guilty party. Not as much as the cheating partner of course, but in knowingly sleeping with them, you are playing a part in the deception and betrayal of the partner. You are willingly helping the cheater betray their significant other. 

[Bethany]

1 hour ago, Cinnabon said:

Some people are clutching their pearls over other women approaching their husbands/boyfriends. Those women may not know before they approach the men if they’re in open relationships or not.

Are open relationships so common that a woman knowing the man she's hitting on is married is reasonably expecting to find out he's in an open marriage?  Maybe I live in a different world but that's never been my experience.  Men lying about their relationships in order to pick up women?  Way more common.

[RealHousewife]

7 minutes ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

Are open relationships so common that a woman knowing the man she's hitting on is married is reasonably expecting to find out he's in an open marriage?  Maybe I live in a different world but that's never been my experience.  Men lying about their relationships in order to pick up women?  Way more common.

Agree. I thought maybe I missed context for some of the above posts. I totally get that people can mislead others about their status, slip off rings, pretend they're single, etc. But if someone is married, more than 99% of the time, that person is not in an open relationship. 

I totally get traditional marriages aren't for everyone, but they're ultimately what the vast, vast majority of people have. 

[Cinnabon]

30 minutes ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

Are open relationships so common that a woman knowing the man she's hitting on is married is reasonably expecting to find out he's in an open marriage?  Maybe I live in a different world but that's never been my experience.  Men lying about their relationships in order to pick up women?  Way more common.

They exist. Nothing to worry about if you and your partner are on the same page about your own relationship. 

20 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

Agree. I thought maybe I missed context for some of the above posts. I totally get that people can mislead others about their status, slip off rings, pretend they're single, etc. But if someone is married, more than 99% of the time, that person is not in an open relationship. 

I totally get traditional marriages aren't for everyone, but they're ultimately what the vast, vast majority of people have. 

You’d be very surprised . . .