S11.E16: We Need to Get a Divorce

[gingerandcloves]

I wish Miles would've said no. He seems so unhappy. I keep reading interviews with Karen, where she's all like, I was misrepresented, and there was a lot more intimacy that you didn't see, and no, I don't have any issues with Miles' masculinity, blah blah blah. I call bullsh*t. Miles wouldn't have made those comments about her if all that was true. I guess he does envision some type of future with her, but truly he deserves someone who can love him and not feel like it's the most difficult, unpleasant task ever. I'm curious to see where they are at the reunion.

[TheMediumBopper]

1 hour ago, Retired at last said:

 

I had read the spoilers that were out even before the first show and knew that Karen and Miles would stay together. I kept waiting to see why since she is so horrible and condescending to him, but I guess whatever happed the last few weeks is something we will never see. I am curious to see them at the reunion show and I have serious doubts that they will make it long term. She just is too shut off for him, or for anyone, actually. There is no warmth to her at all, and she is probably the least likable person I have seen on the few seasons of this goofy show I have watched (started with Dallas). I hope Miles doesn't stay just so he can be married like Woody.

I read all those spoilers, too (and man, has it been tough keeping my mouth shut about them) and have similarly been looking for signs to explain why Karen and Miles didn't part ways. I still have no answers. Maybe tonight's reunion show will provide some, but I'm thinking not. Karen is awfully tough to read. 

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, psychoticstate said:

I'm happy that I was so wrong about Woody.  I thought he would end up being the biggest dog there but he is clearly head over heels with Amani.  They are a great match.

I did too - and to be fair, his whole friend group told him to his face (and us, by extension!) that he wasn't ready for marriage. They set us up!

1 hour ago, Booger666 said:

I agree with you.  When Dr. Pepper told them to take sex off the table completely he was fine with it.  Dr. Pepper said that Karen needed to work on showing affection such as hand holding, kissing, cuddling, etc.  If she did that with Miles it wasn’t shown.

She wasn't even sitting near him on the couch this episode. I don't even think she was turned toward him on the couch.

36 minutes ago, gingerandcloves said:

I wish Miles would've said no. He seems so unhappy. I keep reading interviews with Karen, where she's all like, I was misrepresented, and there was a lot more intimacy that you didn't see, and no, I don't have any issues with Miles' masculinity, blah blah blah. I call bullsh*t. Miles wouldn't have made those comments about her if all that was true. I guess he does envision some type of future with her, but truly he deserves someone who can love him and not feel like it's the most difficult, unpleasant task ever. I'm curious to see where they are at the reunion.

This is it for me. She acts like it's a chore to be around him. You can tell that Amelia and Bennett and Woody and Amani enjoy being around each other. I don't get that vibe from Karen and Miles.

[StatisticalOutlier]

5 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I think Miles was putting in a lot of work to build an emotional connection with Karen. He fixed her car, he had his friend come over to teach him how to cook, he's been very open with her about what he's thinking and feeling, which is part of building an emotional connection, IMO. You can't be emotionally connected to someone you don't know well, and he's made all the effort to get to know her and to have her know him. I haven't seen her respond in kind, aside from that two truths and a lie game (which I think was his idea). Also Karen is the one who said from the get, before she even met Miles, that his vulnerability is a turnoff, but IMO you can't have an emotional connection to someone without being vulnerable with them.

I heard her say a couple of times that she was afraid that Miles was putting so much effort into doing things for her that he was in danger of losing himself in the process, or something to that effect.  That could explain why she doesn't "appreciate" his efforts.  But he just tries harder, which does not work for her.

I think whatever she saw in the videos before they met that made her say "He's not my type" hasn't been overcome by what he's done since then.  And it might be more of the same (like emoting a lot, which I suspect), which would be even more off-putting. 

[princelina]

13 hours ago, Yeah No said:

It's also not uncommon for the women to show up on decision day decked out like they're going to a club.  The looks are so similar from season to season it makes me wonder if they have "guidance" from production on how to dress.

And the men typically wear suits.  Or yellow capri pants with pink ruffles of course 😄

 

6 hours ago, cardigirl said:

And wise ol' Amani at the end, having the final say on Brett. Production was determined to make Brett out to be the villain of the season. Sigh. 

I liked Brett overall but I did think that Amani's comment about him evaluating the energy he puts out there was wise - not everyone loves snark all the time.

4 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

I am so at a table for one as I thought Amelia was going to say no until Bennett showed his tattoo.  She seemed caught off-guard and didn't know what to really say.  I agree with an above poster that the quirk she acted to be on t.v. will disappear once they move to Virginia and Bennett will be perplexed.

She may no longer be sleeping in an adult onesie, but she will still be a unicycling tightrope walker and one-woman band.  I think she'll keep enough quirks for him.  Plus she puts up with his, which is what old One Square Bennett really needs 😄 

3 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Hmmmm.....not sure about that. Henry doesn't seem that into travel, which is what Olivia wanted. She was into constantly analyzing the relationship, and I don't know that she would have been satisfied by his non-answers any more than Brett's sarcasm. Neither is a fast mover on the physical front, so I feel like this relationship would have ended up in the friend zone.

Yeah I don't think Olivia and Henry were going anywhere, but I would have enjoyed Brett snarking on Christina's lying, homelessness and rudeness to the production staff 😄 

2 hours ago, cardigirl said:

I'm not sure why he didn't leave, except to seem like the better person, but who knows?  I'm sure we were not shown everything. 

IMO it's because for Henry's type of person it was easier to just sleep in the spare bedroom and wait out his time, rather than being confrontational and walking out.  All we saw was Brett leave Olivia and her response - we didn't get to see him being harangued by production and possibly "experts" even though I'm sure it happened.  A Brett type of person would be fine with that, but not a Henry.

[Kiss my mutt]

I’m curious to find out where they end up living. Will Woody move into Amani’s apartment or will they live with grandma? I was surprised Miles and Karen stayed together but it sounds like the time together without cameras was beneficial. I don’t see them lasting nor do I see Amelia staying with Bennett. That tattoo was ratched. 
Olivia lumbering down those steps like an elephant after their segment was comical. I think she put on some pandemic pounds but I did like the dress. Definitely a departure for her. Brett and Olivia would have babies with very weird noses. Hers is so beak like and his is extremely wide with big nostrils for his face. 
The whole “I want a divorce thing” was probably producer driven but it was lame. 
I wish that Henry and the experts would have not let Christina off the hook about the blackmail threat so easily. She is despicable. Good thing Henry is as mild mannered as he is because I sure as hell wouldn’t be. Who even does that? Wow! She is psycho. 
I love my animals but I wouldn’t try to talk anyone into getting a pet if they were on the fence any more than I would recommend someone have kids because I like mine. I imagine they will end up getting one though. 
Dr. V’s face looked really square last night like she did something to her jawline. Very masculine looking. Dr. P is always a nondescript, shapeless blob. Pastor C always looks nice, though I can’t tell any his suits apart. I would die if someone got a photo of him wearing cargo shorts and an old navy T-shirt out and about. 
 

[Empress1]

5 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I heard her say a couple of times that she was afraid that Miles was putting so much effort into doing things for her that he was in danger of losing himself in the process, or something to that effect.  That could explain why she doesn't "appreciate" his efforts.  But he just tries harder, which does not work for her.

I think whatever she saw in the videos before they met that made her say "He's not my type" hasn't been overcome by what he's done since then.  And it might be more of the same (like emoting a lot, which I suspect), which would be even more off-putting. 

Yeah. I just don't think they should be together. Their incompatibility isn't as clear-cut as "he wants kids and she doesn't," but I do think they're incompatible. I wonder if they talked about it beforehand and agreed to both say yes. If not, I could see her trying to save face by saying yes because he said yes.

1 minute ago, Kiss my mutt said:

I did like [Olivia's] dress.

It was a good color for her. Christina's was a good color for her too - they both look good in jewel tones, as my grandmother would say. I loved Karen's dress too.

Edited October 29, 2020 by Empress1

[cardigirl]

12 minutes ago, princelina said:

I liked Brett overall but I did think that Amani's comment about him evaluating the energy he puts out there was wise - not everyone loves snark all the time.

I agree, but not sure why it was her place to say anything at all. Maybe this is something they've added to the show, as I have not watched closely the previous two series, but do they film participants sitting in judgement of other participants they are not married to? And if so, why didn't they have Amani speaking about everyone?  LOL, the show could have been three hours!  😉 

Edited October 29, 2020 by cardigirl

[princelina]

Just now, cardigirl said:

I agree, but not sure why it was her place to say anything at all. Maybe this is something they've added to the show, as I have not watched closely that previous two series, but do they film participants sitting in judgement of other participants they are not married to? And if so, why didn't they have Amani speaking about everyone?  LOL, the show could have been three hours!  😉 

I don't know!  But please show - 2 hours is more than enough 😄 

[Kiss my mutt]

I think Amani would be a better expert than the experts. She says what they won’t. 

[Crashcourse]

While this wasn't my favorite season, I did like the other people decorating Bennett's and Amelia's car and giving them such a nice send off. 

[rebel2u]

17 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Most pet owners would not say that they value their dogs or cats over their family.  A lot of them would say they value them as much, though, and consider them a part of the family.  Now my mother, a huge animal lover, used to say that she couldn't trust people that didn't love animals because dogs especially are so loyal and true and full of good qualities, that anyone who would reject that is somehow too cold and unfeeling, and therefore not to be trusted.  I'm not sure about that, but I can understand that people that have not grown up around or lived with such devoted animals might not understand how they are as important to their owners as other members of the family, though.  They really are some amazing creatures when you get to know them.  I grew up around dogs and took for granted how amazing they were.  Now at an older age I am realizing that they are even more amazing than I ever realized they were when I was younger, maybe because I am seeing them with more mature eyes now than back then.  You really have to experience it up close to understand it. 

I myself was never a cat lover - the only cats I knew when I was young were mean old alley cats.  In fact it took a renter bringing in his mother's cat when she died to turn me around on them.  This cat and I bonded so well it was actually a little scary to me after a while because I didn't see it coming.  Same thing happened with my husband, who outright hated cats but this one turned him around too.  So it can happen.  I still think Woody is one of those guys that turns his nose up at a dog but then when he gets one will fall in love with it as hard as he fell for Amani, LOL.

In defense of alley cats, they probably had to be mean to survive.  They are outside with no shelter, no consistent food source and have to be on the lookout for people who throw rocks at them to shoo them away from their houses.  We had a cat roaming our neighborhood, and once I started putting food out for him, he stuck close to my house.  At first, he hissed and spit when I got too close to him, but then he gradually became more friendly, meowing at me when I talked to him, rolling around on the sidewalk in front of me and then finally rubbing around my ankles.  One day I decided to reach down and pet him and he just melted.  He let me pet him and rub him and he just purred and purred.  He's now my cat and is just the sweetest and gentlest cat.  Sometimes they just need love. 

I've seen this happen so many times: People say they hate cats and then meet one that makes them change their minds.  When people tell me they don't like cats, I tell them they just haven't met the right one.  And it's been borne out, more times than not. 

@RACJ82  To me, I don't see anything odd about not wanting pets, not wanting to be around animals, etc.  It's no different from making choices about a political party or a religion (or no religion.)  You make the choices that suit your beliefs, lifestyle and needs.  It doesn't, as noted upthread, bespeak of your character.

 

 

Edited October 30, 2020 by rebel2u

[LennieBriscoe]

9 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

I don’t see anything wrong with Brett.  He says it like it is and is honest.  To me, Olivia is the type that wants what she wants, no ifs, ands and buts.  Brett will not change being practical.  She will not change being frivolous.  I would have loved to go to Europe too, but the husband didn’t want to.  Was I going to pout about it and get mad?  He’ll no.  Someone has to give in.  Mine doesn’t like plays, but he goes with me.   Olivia won’t give in for anything.  She should of at least tried and gave it a whirl.  Not every couple agrees on everything.  Brett still seems interested in her.  Things could be worked out.

Your post made me think of another area of difference: humor.  Brett showed a sense of humor; Olivia did not. Henry, yes; ChristinA, no.  Miles, yes; Karen not really. Woody has a great sense of humor; I think Amani has too dry a one to be always understood, but bless Woody, even her deadpan "I want a divorce" was forgiven with a smile!  Bennett and Amelia are on the same humor wavelength. 

And in reverse order we can see the success of the matchmaking! 

[Ilovepie]

2 hours ago, princelina said:

Yeah I don't think Olivia and Henry were going anywhere, but I would have enjoyed Brett snarking on Christina's lying, homelessness and rudeness to the production staff 😄 

And these two no doubt would have hooked up but then ended up not so secretly loathing each other. It would have been very entertaining, and who knows? Maybe they would have made it work. Stranger things have happened - I mean, who would have ever thought Jamie and Elizabeth would still be going strong? Olivia and Henry would have been a snooze, but these two would be awesomely awful! 😂

[nell]

Karen, you looked gorgeous in this episode!  Wear your hair like that always!

 

[Yeah No]

17 hours ago, Racj82 said:

I believe Woody, like me, doesn't want one but he will concede for her. There is no fear there. It's just not something he wants. So, in the end, he will be okay with it when it happens.

I will always get it from a logical perspective. But, there are few absolutes for me. I always try to be open about many things but not on animals. I'm 38 and there has never been a day where being around animals was a concept I ever wanted. Experiencing them personally wouldn't change it.

Being a fed ex courier does not help (not my first or fiftieth choice for my profession but a series of other jobs never planned out). It's the assumption that people will be okay with your pet. I shouldn't have to worry about a dog jumping out at me while I'm trying to deliver your package. But, for animal lovers, it's always my dog never attacks anyone. He/she is so friendly. F all that. Just keep your pet away from me. I never liked animals but now we are in a place where basically every woman I would want to date has one, family members (even ones who didn't have one for decades has them, people bring them to works, flights, stores. It's just really a lot. I respect the love people have for animals and how they can be loyal and loving. They will also never be for me.

And when I say people value animals over humans, I'm talking about the vast amount of people that will quit a tv show, be angry for days, call for boycotts if a tv show or movie dares to hurt a animal. I know a show where a whole family was murdered and it was shown through a series of children's drawings. Children were killed in this scenario but the dog being a victim too made them rage quit the show. I just can't with all that and people who say kill whoever you want but leave the animals alone. This i why I say I value them as living beings. Because I do. I don't enjoy animals being killed or slaughtered in general. My world won't end if they die in a movie the same it won't if a human does. Living beings die. There is just a level I can never relate to.

Oh, I'm totally with you on those people that go over the line with putting animals above humans, and bad owners that allow their pets to assault delivery people.  That gets under my skin like nothing else (and sorry you have had to endure that!).  But on the other hand I have known of enough people like Woody in my time that are so totally against getting a pet or certain pets that subsequently fell hard and fast for one that came into their lives or their home for some reason.  So as much as Woody protests I still think it's possible for him to have a change of heart.  Maybe that will never be you (and that's totally fine with me as we're not all cut out to own pets), but because of the many times I have seen others (and even myself on cats) have a similar change of heart I have come to appreciate the phrase "never say never".

Edited October 30, 2020 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

17 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I could have sworn I saw that dress last season.  You would think she'd have a different dress each season.

She was wearing a blue dress in the same color last season but it was a different dress:

 

[Yeah No]

16 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I don't know either but something wasn't clicking between them. As I said I just see something is missing, maybe something she wasn't getting, maybe just a lack of chemistry... I don't know. But complaining about something doesn't make it happen. And again if it's not going to happen or he doesn't think it will, then he can end it. It's not like anyone will blame him at this point.

I think Karen was so initially turned off by the fact that Miles was younger than her plus a "people pleaser" (which to her registered as not masculine enough for her) that she never opened her mind or heart to let him in.  She was just dead set against it no matter how good or decent he showed himself to be.  And she's going to regret that one day if she doesn't wake up soon, IMHO.

16 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Henry sucked back so much he was a passive aggressive wreck by decision day. He sat there & apologized, took the upper road & all, but his teeth were practically clenched doing so.  I can't imagine why he stuck it out at all with that nut job. The accusation should've been *it* for him.

I agree with you, but I actually think Henry is pretty sincere and what we saw was him being unable to be anything but a gentleman in the situation even if it meant taking the blame.  Which I actually admire even though I agree that he shouldn't really have to do that.

14 hours ago, cinsays said:

Yeah, that was a pretty ugly, unprofessional looking tattoo.

It looked to me like it still had some kind of stencil over it - perhaps he had just had it done or something?  I don't know that much about tattoos but something about it looked off, like maybe it was a temporary one?  It was hard to tell.  Also, given the pandemic were tattoos even possible to get then?  It actually looked like it could be homemade and done by a friend, not in a shop, which would explain a lot.

12 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

I wish Miles would've said no. He seems so unhappy. I keep reading interviews with Karen, where she's all like, I was misrepresented, and there was a lot more intimacy that you didn't see, and no, I don't have any issues with Miles' masculinity, blah blah blah. I call bullsh*t. Miles wouldn't have made those comments about her if all that was true. I guess he does envision some type of future with her, but truly he deserves someone who can love him and not feel like it's the most difficult, unpleasant task ever. I'm curious to see where they are at the reunion.

I agree with you but here's another angle - I wonder how much Miles saying "yes" had to do with his competitiveness?  How would he feel to know his pal Woody succeeded while he didn't?  He had to say "yes" to show the world and Woody that he's not a failure next to him.  Just another angle to consider.

Edited October 30, 2020 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

13 hours ago, lizajane said:

Olivia is the biggest sour puss I have ever seen and I hate that she takes absolutely no ownership for her part in the failure of her marriage and also for the fact that she made Brett feel so guilty that he still appeared to be trying to make an effort to reconnect with her. And the "experts" were not holding her feet to the fire either, although it did not look like they were necessarily taking her side on this 100%. I don’t love Brett, but she is just a miserable buzz kill. This match was a disaster from day one. Their values and priorities couldn’t be farther apart.

12 hours ago, Retired at last said:

I felt like the experts were giving Olivia big clues that a lot of the problem was HER. She couldn't tell Brett what she wanted, other than whatever he said or did, was wrong. She at least admitted that she could have been more physical, but she wouldn't have trusted that, either. Brett would have been a tough one to be in a relationship with, but she was just too rigid in her opinions and too cold when she was with him. She seemed like she is much nicer and sweeter (and even smiles) when she is with anyone else.

I couldn't agree more with you both.  Sure, Brett is somewhat of a sarcastic douche, but Olivia, wow, she was just not seeing her own part in this.  I felt like she was one of these controlling women that has to have a man check off all her boxes and live up to her very high standards.  She was always about serious conversations and could never just go with the flow and see the humor in his comments.  So what if he was being light and "surface" in the beginning?  That's what people do at the start of a relationship!  She was already expecting him to be deep with her a couple of days in on the honeymoon - what a surefire way to make a guy shut down and not want to get to know you!  Then when she acts hurt by that and continues to try to get deep with him she does nothing but see the negative and it all went downhill from there.  She really needed to lighten up and let things take their natural course, but that is impossible for her because she is so tightly wound!  I felt like the others liked her more because she put on a facade with them and yes, made herself later look like the victim.  Meanwhile she accused HIM of putting on a facade for the cameras or seeing the marriage as just a "TV show" when she herself was all too willing to separate her own real self from what was put on the TV show.  I think she misunderstood Brett a lot and he in turn shut himself down and didn't try to make himself understood, which didn't help.

 

Edited October 30, 2020 by Yeah No

[Crashcourse]

6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

She was wearing a blue dress in the same color last season but it was a different dress:

 

Yes, I posted earlier that it was the same color and referenced this Youtube Unfiltered episode 3.

[Shauna]

On 10/29/2020 at 12:16 AM, Racj82 said:

I just have always thought that notion of living with animals is gross. Being around animals makes my skin crawl and I could never look at animal like a human being as many others do. I respect them as living beings. I damn sure don't value them over human beings like so many others do. The whole concept of pets to me is bizarre. People being such extreme animal lovers probably is a part of my feelings. Being what they are.

Funny, I'm the opposite.  I like my dog more than I like most people.

[sara416]

22 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

 

 

I'm happy that I was so wrong about Woody.  I thought he would end up being the biggest dog there but he is clearly head over heels with Amani.  They are a great match.

So too are Bennett and Amelia -- although I think their quirkiness would be exhausting.  I did appreciate that Amelia dressed like herself for Decision Day and not like she was headed for the meat market afterwards.  

 

I apologized directly to Woody in last week's thread, but I'm going to say it again. I am SO SORRY I thought he was like Chicago Nate. He's really a good guy and if he messes this up with Amani I will take everything back, but I loved him tonight! I would love to hang out with those two someday, they seem really fun. 

I also love Bennett and Amelia. They are who they are and they make no apologies for it. They have a real connection and I think they can absolutely make this work for the long haul. I think it is kind of funny that the end of the show was all of the couples basically saying a love letter to them, because they, too, know that they are really great. I adore the idea of Bennett and people like Miles and Woody being friends, because they seem like such an odd grouping, but those two guys clearly appreciate him for who he is and that makes me like the other two even more. Brett and Henry? I have a feeling that they were very judgemental of Bennett. 

[gingerandcloves]

10 hours ago, Yeah No said:

She was wearing a blue dress in the same color last season but it was a different dress:

 

Just  looking at this photo reminds me of how much better this season was than last's. Thank God. I almost wasn't going to watch this one because of the D.C. dumpster fire.

[gingerandcloves]

4 hours ago, Linarina said:

I think it's definitely her car based on the other stickers (I think there were a couple doctor-related ones), but I hope your daughter's interpretation is right.  (And sorry for getting the wording wrong.)  As compassionate as they both seem, it just does not compute.

Agreed. Anyway, I wish them both well. They make marriage look easy, and they really seem a great balance for each other.

[Racj82]

5 hours ago, Shauna said:

Funny, I'm the opposite.  I like my dog more than I like most people.

Yes, I know. Millions of people share your opinion over mine. It is what it is. I don't like most people anyway. I just will never value an animal over a human being is all.

[Crashcourse]

12 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I agree with you but here's another angle - I wonder how much Miles saying "yes" had to do with his competitiveness?  How would he feel to know his pal Woody succeeded while he didn't?  He had to say "yes" to show the world and Woody that he's not a failure next to him.  Just another angle to consider.

I could see Miles thinking that.  He would have been embarrassed to be the one divorcing, especially when initially it was "player" Woody who would have been the one most likely to want a divorce.

[Linarina]

2 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

An animal conversation vs a political conversation nowadays is not even the same.  Plus, the animal topic was brought up on the show.  Politics was not.

Obviously, Amelia's politics were brought up by the editors, if no one else.  A person's politics say a lot about their world view and knowledge and experience and ethics, and I find it shocking that Amelia's politics don't match her persona.  I guarantee you her castmates (and other viewers) noticed and cared about that sticker even if you did not. 

[Blissfool]

On 10/29/2020 at 4:49 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

Olivia lumbering down those steps like an elephant after their segment was comical. 
 

Lol..I always notice her unladylike walk.

On 10/29/2020 at 4:56 PM, cardigirl said:

I agree, but not sure why it was her place to say anything at all. Maybe this is something they've added to the show, as I have not watched closely the previous two series, but do they film participants sitting in judgement of other participants they are not married to? And if so, why didn't they have Amani speaking about everyone?  LOL, the show could have been three hours!  😉 

This never sat well with me about Amani. It seemed she was frequently passing judgment on the others. I know Christina is not a favorite, but at the retreat when C was confiding/venting to Amani, I couldn't help but notice that A was ready to bust out laughing with that smirk on her face.

[Crashcourse]

On 10/29/2020 at 5:49 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

Olivia lumbering down those steps like an elephant after their segment was comical.

I think her feet were killing her in those shoes and she was desperately trying not to fall on her face, lol.

[Kira53]

I assume the bumper sticker is a joke. 

On the back windshield of my car, I had three college stickers. Harvard College, Columbia University, Vulcan Space Academy. I thought it was pretty funny and I wonder how many people laughed or smiled when they saw my back windshield. I figured a lot of people got the joke.  My cousin's father bought my car for her and she kept the stickers on. One day she was telling a friend that her cousin went to those schools.  She called me angrily because her friend made fun of my cousin thinking that I went to the Vulcan Space Academy.  She did know that I was a graduate of the other two universities.  I thought my cousin was in on the joke.  She didn't know that the Vulcan Space Academy was Star Trek.  She took all of the stickers off.

[OnceSane]

Keep your comments to the show and its participants.  Your fellow posters are not up for discussion or "subtle" shade.  Knock it off.

[Lindz]

WTF is Brett trying to do?? Be "friends" for WHAT?!! DON'T!! Don't be "cute" or "flirty." It's GROSS! The way he moved out was effed up. If he would've been a MATURE ADULT & agreed on the move with his wife, it'd be fine. Since he decided to leave in petty little bitch fashion, he's despised. I'm glad Olivia won't fake friendliness. No need to. She needs to fully shut him down & tell him to never contact her again. Seems like he's doing it to eff with her.

[Lindz]

No Amelia or Christina on Unfiltered ALL SEASON?? Has that happened before? I started watching during Charlotte's season.

[KateHearts]

Someone commented that Miles only mentioned his needs/wants at the decision, and called it "selfish." Honestly, I think the entire time they were together it was ALL about Karen and she set the mood every single time. He was constantly dancing around her, trying to read her mood, trying to decide if he was doing the "right" thing or not.  Which then made him seem "soft" in her eyes. He can't win. Their last conversations together were making my head spin because they speak in metaphors and use buzzwords but never seem to get to the point.  I was dying for someone to say "are you attracted to me or not?" or "I'm really frustrated because you just don't give me a scrap here." I'm so sick of her making excuses for all of her waffling and whipping him back and forth - marrying a "shtranger" (you elected to do this, honey!), COVID, racial tensions, etc. This stuff is what life is, so learn to deal with it. Or not. 

Bennett is trying a bit too hard with the pants and the tattoo.  But hey, Amelia seems to like it so... hope they are happy.

Christina had SUCH the face of "oh shit, I'm being uncovered." She is so, so bad at trying to act normal. Henry's comment last week that he had to try not to laugh when she was talking about how well they were doing and had turned a corner, blah blah was spot on.  Any normal person would be scratching their head at her terrible acting.  I think she said "I never thought you were gay!" at least five times, and that was her way of deflecting the entire conversation away from her dishonesty. He had many chances to refer to her questionable character: her allegations that she lived in NO, her leaving the apartment for a "walk" dressed like she was going clubbing, the mysterious disappearing text from a "reliable source" which she now says came as an anonymous text (was it a friend playing a joke? Was it one of his friends? hmmmm).I give Henry credit for taking the high road at the end.

Olivia had her stank face on and we knew that there wasn't going to be any concession made on her part. I can't read Brett but I think overall she may be on to something- he pulls out a sympathetic face or makes a loving comment when he senses he may have pushed a little too far or gotten a bit too critical or sarcastic. I wouldn't like that.  

Woody and Amani are cute and I wish them well. I was a little annoyed by all the teary happiness by Viviana ("Thank GOD we did something right!!!")  Dr. Pepper looked awkward sitting there with her legs splayed out in her pantsuit. She seemed exhausted- except when she was patting herself on the back for her brilliant pairing of Amelia and Bennett.

[KateHearts]

On 10/31/2020 at 4:27 PM, psychoticstate said:

Being a ________ (fill in the blank with political party) does not mean you are a ________ (fill in stereotype).  One is not exclusive to the other.

Thank you. That, in essence, is what is so disturbing about politics today.  The gross generalizations.

[ChristmasJones]

Christina clearly has her own issues, but Henry admitted his communication sucks. 

I think that if Christina had been paired with a really confident, out-going guy who found her attractive, we might have seen a very different Christina. Meaning, while Henry might seem kind, he clearly skews to the far end of the spectrum in terms of verbalizing what he is thinking and feeling. I think this kind of threw Christina for a loop, and led to her making bad decisions in she acted.

Essentially they both have some big weaknesses, and they brought the absolute worst out of each other.

I would have liked to see what happened if Henry met a quiet introvert who he found super hot.

Like what the hell would have happened if Karen and Henry were paired up? Would they both feel super safe with each other and start really opening up, or would there be a lot of dead silence between them?

Just some musings...

[Jack Sampson]

7 hours ago, ChristmasJones said:

I think that if Christina had been paired with a really confident, out-going guy who found her attractive, we might have seen a very different Christina. Meaning, while Henry might seem kind, he clearly skews to the far end of the spectrum in terms of verbalizing what he is thinking and feeling. I think this kind of threw Christina for a loop, and led to her making bad decisions in she acted.

As is always the problem with this, a really confident, out-going man can do better than Christina.  And don't forget, we saw her awful behavior before she even met Henry.

[KateHearts]

10 hours ago, ChristmasJones said:

I think that if Christina had been paired with a really confident, out-going guy who found her attractive, we might have seen a very different Christina. Meaning, while Henry might seem kind, he clearly skews to the far end of the spectrum in terms of verbalizing what he is thinking and feeling. I think this kind of threw Christina for a loop, and led to her making bad decisions in she acted.

I think Christina is accustomed to dating guys who are flings. She admits that most men (paraphrasing) gush all over her, tell her she's beautiful, etc- and my impression is that she has physical encounters with men and has never had a close emotional relationship. It appears she doesn't even know what it means to connect with someone in a non-sexual way (and it's hard if you lie about basic things such as where you live, and if you scrutinize and criticize the other person for not having the same experiences as you have had). So when Henry doesn't "make a move," she is totally perplexed and feels rejected and that nothing works.  So the criticism continues; meanwhile Henry retreats further and further because he is not finding anything he has in common with Christina and gets more puzzled with her odd behavior.

She strikes me as very superficial ("I'm not UGLY!" she says to her dinner companion)- and that her looks should be enough to win her a guy.  I won't comment on her odd wardrobe choices; they didn't help. But yeah, I could have overlooked the superficial things if she seemed the least bit sincere.

[Retired at last]

Plus, wasn't it ChristinA who said when we first met her, that she has based her ideas on ideal relationships from TV and movies? I took that to mean that she hasn't had a real relationship, because reality doesn't match TV drama or romance.

[Hangin Out]

On 10/29/2020 at 9:05 AM, OnTime said:

The skin around it had a big rash. It almost looked infected!

I'm sure tattoo parlors weren't open because of COVID during the time they were filming.

Well, that’s a nice way to get cellulitis and wind up in the hospital on IV of antibiotic.  Wonder what Dr. Amelia said .  Laughed?

[Kira53]

7 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Well, that’s a nice way to get cellulitis and wind up in the hospital on IV of antibiotic.  Wonder what Dr. Amelia said .  Laughed?

What's she to say?  It's done.  I do hope she warned him about doing it in the future.

[topanga]

On 11/1/2020 at 9:15 PM, ChristmasJones said:

Christina clearly has her own issues, but Henry admitted his communication sucks. 

I think that if Christina had been paired with a really confident, out-going guy who found her attractive, we might have seen a very different Christina. Meaning, while Henry might seem kind, he clearly skews to the far end of the spectrum in terms of verbalizing what he is thinking and feeling. I think this kind of threw Christina for a loop, and led to her making bad decisions in she acted.

Essentially they both have some big weaknesses, and they brought the absolute worst out of each other.

I would have liked to see what happened if Henry met a quiet introvert who he found super hot.

Like what the hell would have happened if Karen and Henry were paired up? Would they both feel super safe with each other and start really opening up, or would there be a lot of dead silence between them?

Just some musings...

Very well said 

On 11/2/2020 at 4:50 AM, Jack Sampson said:

As is always the problem with this, a really confident, out-going man can do better than Christina.

But if they'd signed up for this show, they wouldn't have been able to choose who they were going to be matched with. 

 

On 11/2/2020 at 7:46 AM, KateHearts said:

I think Christina is accustomed to dating guys who are flings. She admits that most men (paraphrasing) gush all over her, tell her she's beautiful, etc- and my impression is that she has physical encounters with men and has never had a close emotional relationship. It appears she doesn't even know what it means to connect with someone in a non-sexual way (and it's hard if you lie about basic things such as where you live, and if you scrutinize and criticize the other person for not having the same experiences as you have had). So when Henry doesn't "make a move," she is totally perplexed and feels rejected and that nothing works.  So the criticism continues; meanwhile Henry retreats further and further because he is not finding anything he has in common with Christina and gets more puzzled with her odd behavior.

She strikes me as very superficial ("I'm not UGLY!" she says to her dinner companion)- and that her looks should be enough to win her a guy.  I won't comment on her odd wardrobe choices; they didn't help. But yeah, I could have overlooked the superficial things if she seemed the least bit sincere.

This is my first time saying this all season, but I think the women on this show are criticized more harshly than the men--in general. 

Many posters have called Christina superficial because she considers herself attractive and wondered why Henry wouldn't make any sexual advances. But doesn't Miles also consider himself attractive and wondered why Karen was never intimate with him--physically or emotionally?  But I don't hear many people calling him superficial. Or Brett? From the beginning, he's considered himself the hottest thing since sliced bread. 

On the flip side, many people (including me) have criticized Karen for being cold, distant, and not a good communicator. But I'd argue that fewer people criticized Henry for being cold, distant, and not a good communicator. Those who defend him have excused his behavior by saying that 1) he takes a long time to warm up 2) Christina's bad behavior kept him from feeling comfortable enough to make himself vulnerable, or 3) he simply wasn't attracted to Christina. All of those describe who Henry is, but IMO, none of them are good excuses not to communicate with your spouse about your concerns.  If Woody or even Brett had been matched with Christina, they would've told her exactly how they felt instead of keeping everything bottled inside until the reunion. 

[princelina]

7 hours ago, topanga said:

This is my first time saying this all season, but I think the women on this show are criticized more harshly than the men--in general. 

Many posters have called Christina superficial because she considers herself attractive and wondered why Henry wouldn't make any sexual advances. But doesn't Miles also consider himself attractive and wondered why Karen was never intimate with him--physically or emotionally?  But I don't hear many people calling him superficial. Or Brett? From the beginning, he's considered himself the hottest thing since sliced bread. 

On the flip side, many people (including me) have criticized Karen for being cold, distant, and not a good communicator. But I'd argue that fewer people criticized Henry for being cold, distant, and not a good communicator. Those who defend him have excused his behavior by saying that 1) he takes a long time to warm up 2) Christina's bad behavior kept him from feeling comfortable enough to make himself vulnerable, or 3) he simply wasn't attracted to Christina. All of those describe who Henry is, but IMO, none of them are good excuses not to communicate with your spouse about your concerns.  If Woody or even Brett had been matched with Christina, they would've told her exactly how they felt instead of keeping everything bottled inside until the reunion. 

I think there's a larger context here - Christina was a liar (we called out Michael for that) and she came off as very superior (we called out Luke and Zach for that)so IMO the rest of the criticism stemmed from those starting points.  Miles seems like a nice guy who many people would like to be with, so he gets less criticism (like Mindy did when matched with Asshat Zach.). The person we like better (Henry, Mindy, Derek, Kate, etc.) gets less criticism from this board, is what I have found, while the jerk gets nitpicked.  When both sides seem to have problems being likable (Brandon and Taylor; Olivia and Brett) then we get factions here 😄   

Edited November 4, 2020 by princelina

[Ilovepie]

15 hours ago, princelina said:

I think there's a larger context here - Christina was a liar (we called out Michael for that) and she came off as very superior (we called out Luke and Zach for that)so IMO the rest of the criticism stemmed from those starting points.  Miles seems like a nice guy who many people would like to be with, so he gets less criticism (like Mindy did when matched with Asshat Zach.). The person we like better (Henry, Mindy, Derek, Kate, etc.) gets less criticism from this board, is what I have found, while the jerk gets nitpicked.  When both sides seem to have problems being likable (Brandon and Taylor; Olivia and Brett) then we get factions here 😄   

This is so true! I think over the course of the series, going back in my memory, there have been way more horrible men than women! I think couples like Dave and Amber and Olivia and Brett make it more interesting in this forum because they aren't outright evil, but there is an argument to be made on both sides of who is worse.

And I think that Henry hasn't gotten a free pass at all - a lot of people, including myself, have dragged him for being dishonest himself in dealing with her and not trying at all. I think he was a horrible choice for this show. But I think when one partner is outright awful and one is quiet and just rides it out, then they tend to get more of a pass. I kind of felt this way about Keith (Iris's husband). He came off as disingenuous to me because he blindsided her at Decision Day, and I didn't think that was nice at all.

[qtpye]

2 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

This is so true! I think over the course of the series, going back in my memory, there have been way more horrible men than women! I think couples like Dave and Amber and Olivia and Brett make it more interesting in this forum because they aren't outright evil, but there is an argument to be made on both sides of who is worse.

And I think that Henry hasn't gotten a free pass at all - a lot of people, including myself, have dragged him for being dishonest himself in dealing with her and not trying at all. I think he was a horrible choice for this show. But I think when one partner is outright awful and one is quiet and just rides it out, then they tend to get more of a pass. I kind of felt this way about Keith (Iris's husband). He came off as disingenuous to me because he blindsided her at Decision Day, and I didn't think that was nice at all.

I'll be honest...I misunderstood Henry at first.

I thought he was being cold to Christina because he did not find her attractive. Turns out he was just being careful about her because some of her supposed friends (does this woman have any real friends) outed the rumor about her having an affair with a married pilot.

I would be weary as hell. It was gentlemanly of him not to out her until she tried to blackmail him with a false gay rumor.

I hope Henry finds love but I'm afraid that he is in love with his best friend and that might cause problems in the future.

[princelina]

6 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

And I think that Henry hasn't gotten a free pass at all - a lot of people, including myself, have dragged him for being dishonest himself in dealing with her and not trying at all. I think he was a horrible choice for this show. But I think when one partner is outright awful and one is quiet and just rides it out, then they tend to get more of a pass. I kind of felt this way about Keith (Iris's husband). He came off as disingenuous to me because he blindsided her at Decision Day, and I didn't think that was nice at all.

I didn't find him disingenuous - if Iris was blindsided she had only herself to blame.  Maybe I'm remembering wrong but was there anyone at all thinking that he would stay with her?  (Besides her - but that was willful or foolish blindness 😄 )